As a lazy depressed skinnyfat robot how do I get a /fit/ body with minimal effort?
>>37568932
>minimal effort
Sorry OP, try again.
>>37568932
you go to /fit/, dumbass
oh wait you probably got banned from there for being a lazy faggot and not reading the sticky
>>37568932
take horse steroids
minimal effort requires taking a lot of drugs. but that itself requires effort.
you can't look like any of those dudes without at least a year of hard work with stellar genetics, even then it's not guaranteed
you either eat nothing but cucumbers and skinless chicken breasts while going to the gym 5x a day to become ottermode or you start using tren and test substances like most fit guys
>>37568969
This.
He is correct
>>37568932
Op,
I'm November 2016 I weighed 191lbs.
Today I'm weighing in at 170.
I've been running and lifting weights 3 times a week.
I'm not ripped but the change is noticibe.
The best part is I fee a lot better about myself. You've got it, robot.
>>37569343
How long do you run?
What weights do you use? I only have some dumb bells of various weights.
Go vegan, lift weights, do some sort of cardio(low impact if you are a fatty)and watch the success happen.
Worked for me. I was a fit fatty but switched to a plant based diet and it totally changed my physique.
>>37569574
How do you get protein though? I thought you had to intake a lot of it to build muscle
>>37569432
Dumbells are fine as long as you hit all the muscle groups. Also do split sets like this.
> Monday - chest and triceps
> Wednesday - biceps and back
> Friday - shoulders and legs.
Do planks every day for stomach and cardio on days you don't use dumbells.
>>37569614
For protein I use lentils and other beans. I also make smoothies with green veggies, protein powder, bananas, macca powder.
Go on a cycle and eat a lot
it takes a lot of effort. the people in your pic have personal trainers and go to the gym at least 5x a week
>>37569687
It takes effort but not a lot of effort. I work out for hour or so 5 days a week and look like OP's pic. Having self control with what you eat and drink is the most important part of getting in shape. That's generally where people fail.
>>37569018
>one year
Best part of a decade if natty, at least 3 years if you chug steroids like water.
>>37569727
>and look like OP's pic
sure you do
>>37569785
This is stupidity the post. Don't listen to someone like this. You can change your body drastically in less than a year.
>>37569806
>>37569785
>>37569687
>>37569061
These are post from other lazy people trying to discourage self improvement. It's that cliche old saying fat people love company.
>>37569785
none of them have really considerable muscle mass anywhere. guy on the right barely has any chest muscles at all. i get the feeling you don't lift.
if you took 'steroids like water' you could easily surpass every single one of them in a year
>>37569630
Would it be better to use dumb bells or bodybweight exercises like push-ups, pull-ups?
>>37568932
Swim. A lot.
>>37569975
I would, my apartment complex has a pool but there is always annoying screaming kids in it. Reeeee!
>>37569963
Not that guy but freeweights. Body-weight exercises takes much more effort and time to see noticeable/impressive results. Besides, the freeweight routine will improve any body-weight routine you might take a look at down the road. Only justification for a body-weight routine is if you're training to be an acrobat or forced to do them in the military.
>>37570020
>Lake
>River
>Ocean
>Pond
>Other less used community pools
Swim anywhere all the time.
>>37569963
Both are good but if you are a fitness beginner I would suggest the dumbells. I do mostly bodyweight myself but it discourages people that are just starting out with fitness.
Use your dumbells until you start to feel stronger then try doing some bodyweight stuff.
>>37568932
get yourself on one of those 'extreme makeover' shows
>>37568932
>minimal effort
>become chad
Pick one, you can't have both you faggot
>>37568979
reading any type of fitness posts on any fitness specific board or website gives me huge anxiety and I just don't understand any of what they say, and half of it is ironic bantering and fake advice
>>37569432
The weights don't fucking matter just work out you fat fuck
>>37569630
my problem is I live in a dorm with a roomate, no space for any real equipment, and the college gym is really toxic, and closed down until a year after I graduate anyways. Plus muh crippling social anxiety
>>37570083
>>Lake
>>River
>>Pond
I, too, enjoy swimming in random bodies of waterSaid the man who didn't realize he was swimming downstream from a sewage plant.
>>37568932
i don't think i could ever look like them. i've got pretty narrow chest/shoulders with wideish hips. some if it is just genetics
>>37569727
honestly self control. Like im not /fit/ muscle aesthetic, but I slimmed down a lot by cutting out a lot of shitty food habits, mindless snacking, and eating when I wasn't hungry just because I was bored. I lost like 30 pounds just doing that, and I still eat like shit at meals and never worked out during that time.
shit like poptarts every morning, pretzels and chips while playing games, soda, cutting that shit is key
>>37570197
I'm not fat I'm 5'9" and 150lbs. I am out of shape though.
>>37570198
People have given you lots of advice. We can't help with the roommate or the social anxiety. If you want to get in shape you will have to put the excuses aside.
Prisoners can manage getting fit in boxes with just bunks and walls. I think living on a campus offers more than enough ways to get fit.
>>37570283
different guy asking sorry
>>37570083
I looked online and there is a public pool with hours for lap swimming a few hours a day before it's open for screaming kids. I like the idea of swimming or biking as opposed to lifting weights but will that give me muscles
>>37570304
get one of those infinite pools and swim forever until you are all pruney but swole as hell
>>37570304
no, swimming won't really give you muscles. it's not a hypertrophic exercise. it's just cardio.
>>37570263
Yea that really is the toughest part. I quit eating fat and junk food when I started exercising. I dropped from 240 pounds to 150 in less than a year.
The best feeling was being seen by people that knew me when I was fat and seeing the look of shock on their faces at how much I had changed.
>>37568932
>how do I get a /fit/ body with minimal effort?
Steroids, no other way. If you do get serious about it you'll achieve in 8 months on steroids that took someone 4 years natural.
>>37570406
nice, did you get to turn anyone down that had been a dick before? How tall are you by the way?
Damn that is a nice weight drop, how long did it take
>>37570304
It's not gonna get you jacked but all the cardio will lower your overall body fat percentage and even the small gains will have better definition.
>>37570441
what are the real, real steroid negative effects, no memes please
>>37570498
increased chance of heart attack, small testicles, anger issues, acne, tons of stretch marks etc
>>37570506
anger issues, check, acne, check, stretch marks, check
wow, and a chance to die earlier, and no girl will even see my junk, sign me up
>>37570475
No I didn't get to turn anyone down haha. Nobody was ever a dick about my weight.
I'm 5'10 and not entirely sure about how long it took. The first year I started getting fit though I worked out like crazy because I didn't know any better. Not sure if it help or hindered me.
I've been in shape for the last 5yrs though and know a lot more about fitness now then when I started.
P90X was what I started with haha. I would do those DVDs then hit the gym too.
>>37570506
Basically here including hair loss, but all of these side affects can be minimized. Do your fucking research, it will help your chance.
By the way, stretchmarks will happen either way, natural or steroids.
>>37568932
Who would you let at your asshole first?
1) far left
2) far right
3) middle left
4) middle right
>>37570555
>By the way, stretchmarks will happen either way, natural or steroids.
i've been lifting for 2 years and dont have stretchmarks anywhere. it depends on your genetics
>>37570546
I downloaded p90 and those are hard as fuck. I can't make it more than 15 to 20 minutes
No fitness beginner should start out taking steroids. That's really stupid advice. Someone that doesn't even have a proper fitness routine taking steroids is just going to fuck their body up.
>>37570546
Do you think p90x is enough to develop a decent chest/upper body?
>>37568932
You don't faggot, getting fit is hard work and if it weren't everyone would be an ottermode chad.
>>37570602
until you're benching over 100kg you're never going to have a decent chest, so no. your chest will look like the guy on the right in OP pic (non-existent)
>>37570581
You just follow along the best you can and stay with it. Eventually you get stronger and healthier. You won't have any trouble keeping up after the first 3-4 weeks if you do it properly.
>>37570546
fuck, something about me just despises workout programs. like some deepdown hate for following programs or something. But I'm about 5'10 and 156, no muscle definition really though, and wide hips so I look fucking stupid
>>37570602
I'm not entirely sure to be honest. When I was doing P90X I was also using free weights at the gym.
>>37570650
I have wide hips as well, but I'm 6ft 90kg and squat 140kg.
>>37570650
I think just doing weights for your upper body and doing cardio would change your body shape.
>>37570676
do you have a goofy fucked up looking body like me
>>37570690
at my hips is literally just skin and bone, so I couldn't slim down there, do you think lifting weights would help that much?
>>37570690
What type of cardio is best? Is it HIIT? The boys over at fit always say cardio is worthless
>>37570711
>>do you have a goofy fucked up looking body like me
Judge me, i often get told i have wide hips as well.
First image was when i was a lanklet at 60+kg.
>>37570743
Wow you have child birthing hips. Strangely sexy.
>>37570743
your legs look fucking yuge, like you could crush my skull. I honestly think this body is the most attractive, anything really more muscular ends up looking really weird, like offputting. maybe its just me
>>37570711
Yes I think it would help immensely.
>>37570718
Fit is full of idiots. HIIT is the best cardio if you can actually stick with it. If you can't do something easier at first like an elliptical machine or swimming.
>>37570718
Also the point of cardio is so you continue moving and burning calories on the days you aren't lifting weights.
>>37570771
>Wow you have child birthing hips
As long as they don't break while squatting or dead-lifting heavy weights I'm happy.
>>37570782
I fell for the squat meme, and ended up falling in love with squats so i squat 3x a week, mixed in with dead-lifts so they are constantly getting blasted.
>>37570743
damn why do those extra two inches of height make you look so much taller
>>37570793
so if I just got dumbbells to start out how long long should I just lift mindlessly while I watch tv. I don't know shit about reps and sets and all that, all I know is to stretch beforehand, and gradually increase in intensity as the workout goes on
>>37570842
you have bowed out legs like me too. Like my taller, motivated body twin
>>37570852
>so if I just got dumbbells to start out how long long should I just lift mindlessly while I watch tv. I don't know shit about reps and sets and all that, all I know is to stretch beforehand, and gradually increase in intensity as the workout goes on
top kek you dont know shit at all man, just go read the sticky on /fit/ and forget everything you think you know
>>37570842
You must have a super looking ass :)
>>37568932
Theyre not that big, theyre just lean. Probably does the gym 3x a week for a hour a piece with clean diets
>>37570885
The sticky at /fit sucks. Minimal info and not many answers
>>37570885
I read that on the sticky you fucking meanie
>>37570852
Google dumbell exercises for the muscle groups you are working out. Do 3 sets of each exercise with reps of 8-12. If you can do more reps then lift heavier weight.
I would recommend listening to music instead of the TV. Try working out for 30-45 minutes 5 days per week until you get healthier and stronger.
>>37570921
>>37570914
The sticky on fit will have you looking like a pear in no time. Avoid the fit sticky if you are looking for a better body.
>>37570929
thanks. Just whenever I start googling shit I always end up on either some fucking whacky forum, or some weird soft flat design website that seems like some kind of chinese psyop
>>37570968
the pear is the ideal male body
>>37569727
Can you tell me how to not eat without going crazy
>>37570968
the sticky in /fit/ has nothing to do with whether you do starting strength.
How important is quitting smoking in getting /fit?
>>37570990
Just look at the picture guides on Google images. Don't read to much about. If you don't get the pic watch a quick YouTube video.
>>37570994
I don't know what to tell you about food. I went vegan so I eat a lot of fruit and high fiber stuff that keeps me feeling full throughout the day. Staying hydrated is also important for feeling full.
>>37570994
I can help you on this one. You gotta think about it everytime you think about putting something in your mouth, and realize how much you do, and when you are eating. Like if you want to eat, think about why, like are you actually hungry. And then think about what you are eating when you do, and when you start eating shitty food, you start to feel bad about it, and then you remember it next time. Or just about how if you ate something that didn't make you feel any fuller, or any more energized afterwards, remember that feeling
>>37570573
Doesn't matter they could all cream pie me one after another desu
>>37570994
>>37571051
Yeah, totally forgot about that. You should be surrounded by empty water bottles by the end of the day, staying hydrated really made my skin alot better, and feeling a lot better.
>>37569061
FATTY DETECTED. It's not that hard. I look fit and all I do is ride a bike 2-3x a week, then every other day do 20 pullups, 50 pushups, 40 squats, 20 hanging leg raises, and 20 overhead presses. and then never eat anything unhealthy ever. #1 thing not to eat is anything sugary at all.
>>37569614
>How do you get protein though? I thought you had to intake a lot of it to build muscle
That's what the Jews want you to think.
>>37571115
What about the sugar in energy drinks ? Those are healthy right?
>>37571143
yeah those are called sucro-plex(tm) and raise your sex neuron fluid levels by at least 40%
>>37571143
Extremely healthy, that's high test sugar. Good for bigger dicks and pheromones that attract nothing but 10/10 turbo Stacies.
>>37571203
if a 10/10 ever talked to me I would know she was up to something nefarious
>>37571139
Really?? Because Isreal is the most vegan country in the world. So I don't think it's the Jews trying to make you eat meat anonymous awesome guy.
>>37571264
hey, thats an interesting fact! ill probably remember only that fact over the course of my whole exam tomorrow
If you drink any soda, at all, ever, kiss any hope of weight loss goodbye you fat fuck. You must say goodbye to soda forever.
>>37570581
>P90X
STOP. P90X is way too needlessly hard and stressful on the body. Just do a normal routine...All that banging your joints into dust and spazzing out and flopping all over the place is not necessary to losing weight.
>>37571386
also "fruit juice cocktails" that shit is fucking loaded with added sugar
>>37571264
Actually Israel is the second most vegan/vegetarian country
>>37570602
Do you think p90x is enough to develop a decent chest/upper body?
NO LOL. P90X is a meme you are just injuring yourself more than any benefit.
>>37570852
lmao. you don't need to stretch before lifting weights. you just need to get some blood flowing first. you want to do some cardio til you feel that you have good bloodflow to your muscles. then lift.
>>37570994
Drink only water. FOREVER.
No soda, EVER. No flavored drinks such as sweet (((tea))) EVER.
No sugary anything. EVER.
That's the top 3 things without going too in depth.
>>37570402
I mean you'll get shredded from just swimming, you just won't get huge. But most people don't swim well enough to get a good workout from it
>>37571143
When it comes to energy drinks, they're not good for you BUT if that's what it takes to raise your energy levels high enough to motivate you to work out. Do it. Often I load up on tons of caffeine right before a workout. You burn more calories being hyped up so it's worth it.
Caffeine is quite effective for weight loss in general, as it encourages you to be more active.
>>37571057
This really helps. Thank you.
>>37571593
ok but hot cheetos, hot fries, and in n out. everything in the world is good. how the fuck do i resist? how? why? why? help? hwy fuck
If I don't eat or try to diet, I just end up thinking about food and going insane all day. I also will do whatever it takes for the day to pass and just zone the fuck out. LOL. AHHHHHHHHH HELP
>>37571143
>energy drinks
The real answer here is caffeine. That's primarily why energy drinks work. The sugar you can do without. You can buy caffeine pills or drink lots of quality coffee and not have to go through the energy drink fiasco.
It's all about caffeine.
>>37571639
How do you swim well? Is there a special technique?
>>37571434
Yes including sweet tea. It's all the same really. Sugary drinks. Even "100% Orange Juice" is a scam. They deleted the wikipedia page but the truth about what they do to "100% OJ" is astoundingly bad. Protip: That isn't real orange flavor you are tasting. Orange juice flavor was designed by the same companies that make perfume.
>>37571716
the thing is, it seems nobody knows this, like people are shocked when I tell them that drinking fruit juice from like juicy juice is almost as bad as soda. Its a little bit sickening
Should I go jogging tonight or lift weights m8s?
>>37568932
>with minimal effort?
You can't. You can do it with maximal effort + determination but minimal effort only enable you to do one push up, once and never again.