Most autismal shit youve done in private >ordered cereal online

Was it like some japanese cereal thats only available there?

>>37428003
that's charmingly autistic. well done

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>hollowed and microwaved a banana skin
>put it in between the sofa cushions and fucked it
>have one of the best orgasms of my life
>look down after to see the sofa covered in smushed banana, lube and jizz
>tfw the stains are still there

>>37428027
Nope frosted flakes

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sent a long text message to a girl I didn't even like.

>>37428003
>>37428076
That's so harmless it's super cute though. Good job Anon, really.

>>37428064
Where did that idea even come from

>made retarded monkey noises and screeches while naked and rolling on the floor because was bored
>tasted my shit just to know whats it like
>as a kid I used to piss behind the cupboard so I wont miss my cartoons, was beaten when discovered
>talk to myself all the time and sometimes mock myself by repeating words silly
>kicked a retarded kid for absolutely no reason, he had a huge bruise on his ass
>fisted myself with a brush, didnt like it, family still uses it
>had a bright idea to literally smoke green tea
>showed my peeper to stacies in first grade because they asked me to
take your pick

>>37428274
There is so much wrong with this I dont even know
>smoked green tea
Nigga why

>be 15
>hormones rage
>Ask friendos advice on how to spice up masturbation experience
>Tell me to smoke cigarettes while beating my monkey
>Be home alone, Stole dad's cig
>Light cig and start stroking
>Smoke filling the room, smell everywhere
> Panicking about the smell while on the edge of glorious orgasm
>Hear elder sister pull up in the driveway
>holyfuckingshit.gif
>Meat in one hand cig in another and running towards back door
>Ninjaskills.exe
>Throw cig in my neighbor's backyard and cum shoots out simultaneously
>Make fabulous o face while neighbor watches a retard throw burning cig in his backyard and shooting cum
>Neighbor shouts and sister enters backyard
>Cum dripping and no pants we stare into each other's eyes
>tears.png

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went outside late in the evening and screamed as loud as I possibly could because I was alone
turned out I wasn't alonej

>>37428274
I'm laughing very hard at some kid just pissing on the carpet and then getting caught.

>>37428773
This one is killing me too. Keep em coming retards

>>37428003
>Payed someone to help me sort my Yu-gi-oh Collection.

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Recently as in last month I just to cum in my own mouth by leaning off my futon with my head on the floor, but being the jackass i am didn't make it leaving me with a chest full of jizz and a pulled muscle in my hip at 11pm