>25 years old >have not touched or been touched by a female

Was it obvious? I dunno if you fucked up as bad as you think you fucked up.

I went to a strip club for the first time with a friend who's also kind of a sperg like me. Got lap dances from 3 girls. Two of them were really friendly. One was picking up some autism vibes from me though, and she asked me why I acted like I was scared of her and if I was okay. It was a little embarrassing.

>>37420301
nigger, you should have spilt beer on yourself

>>37420384
very obvious. even though I have very small loads she could definitely tell. Was paranoid the bouncer would beat the shit out of me.

>>37420438
I think >>37420422 had a good idea. Better luck next time. Maybe don't go back to that one for a long while.

>>37420384
I've thought about going. Worried this would happen to me though. I'm 25 and still a virgin. Never had a gf or kissed a girl

>>37420512
I don't drink beer. It gives me hiccups every time. To be honest I actually went back a week later. Result was even worse, desu.
>similar situation
>accept dance from third stripper this time
>same results except a scab on my neck breaks open. as I am leaving, see blood smeared all over my shirt
>realize I must have bled all over her

>>37420301
>as she is leading me to the couch she tells me she likes my style

PLEASE tell me you didn't buy that part

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>>37420710
>hook line and sinker, desu.

I have an embarrassing stripper story. I had just turned 18 and went to one with my homies. Keep in mind I was a social mess. This one girl got me for a lap dance and kept grinding me it was awesome. What she didn't tell me was that it was 20 dollars per song. I had to go to an ATM and pull out like $100 dollars because strip clubs have 1 minute remixes of music fuck those guys

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>have really animated face and expressions generally
>told by a stripper during private show that I look like a disney villain

>>37420891
Yeah, alot of things are good, (grinding), but I always have the feeling that I could be brought to a back room and have my hands crushed by a ball pein hammer if I make a wrong move. Maybe it is just my town

>>37420973

I think she was calling you ugly lad

>22 years old, virgin
>suicidal
>go to strip club next to river
>car breaks down in parking lot, billowing smoke cuz tubes broke
>"this is fate, tonight's the night I kill myself"
>12 noon
>buy Jack and coke 20 dollars nonstop
>convinced I'm going to kill myself so why not
>get drunk enough to ask the only stripper there for a lap dance
>kinda chubby and ugly compared to the ones that showed up later
>"wow you're so meek and mild, didn't think you'd ask"
>go back
>too early, no bouncers around
>she strips
>gives lap dance
>so drunk and suicidal I start licking her
>she allows it
>lap dance goes on forever
>ends
>ask her how much for sex
>says she doesn't do that
>says it'll be 125 dollars in aggressive manner
>whatever, I'm killing myself, why not
>take it out of the ATM, she wanders off
>sit at bar alone, she's trying to game some college kids that just showed up now
>keep buying expensive drinks, sitting alone, smoking
>at one point start heckling the strippers
>yell "play free bird" to the dj
>hemmoraging so much money, they don't kick me out
>eventually decide to leave
>go to bridge, look down
>pussy out
>sleep in car
>wake up in morning
>pay 10 dollars to borrow someone's phone
>call dad
>he shows up
>he berates me and I have first and only full blown panic attack
>tell him I'm suicidal
>he pays to get car repaired and pays for several months therapy

Only time I've been to a strip club.

>>37421357
Did you cum?
In an original way of course