Psychological Issues

This isn't working, shall we tell Nick it's finally over?

>>37404224
apparently no one wants to. sorry OP

>>37404853

This. Everyone's fine here. We don't have psychological problems. Go home.

>be me 19 years old
>Meet a girl that was so cute and she seemed pretty nice... she wasn't the slutty bitch type she was pretty shy and danced all prom-night with one of her friends I think for me was a perfect 10
>close to the end of the prom one 8/10 girl comes to me to dance I was awkward as fuck
>go to the bathroom get angry cause I'm an retarded piece of shit
>the 8/10 girl comes to my group next day makes 2 bad jokes but were kind of funny
>one of my friend tell bad jokes too and I tell him to get on the 8/10
>tried to add the 10 girl on fb she didn't respond to request
>the friend and 8/10 girl are making out
>stay here and regret every second I stayed near the 10 girl and didn't speak
>feels bad man
sorry for crappy english

>>37405078

Just ask questions. You're not here to entertain girls, and if you don't have much to say, everyone else will, so just listen, and ask questions. Start with simple stuff.

>>37405078

Remember, you're the result of millions of years of evolution so that you and a woman can fuck. This happened long before language was a thing. Don't worry. Nature has its way. Nature will get your semen one way or another. Be ready.

Sometimes living hurts so bad I want to abuse drugs just to make myself feel better. I don't have access to anything but Benadryl and it makes me feel nice. The problem is it takes so long to get into my psychiatrist to try a new medication, I hate having to wait a month and a half each time the drug I have doesn't work.

>>37405185

Have you tried working out? Lifting weights and such? A session of that can have very positive effects.

>>37405209
I've tried pushups before and it was ok I guess until I got even more depressed and stopped. Also I'm worried about losing calories doing it since I'm already pretty underweight and am trying to gain some mass.

>>37404224
I refused to take pills for bpd. Should i be worried? I only take benzos. I dont respond well with other stuff.

>>37405274

Drink lots of milk, pistaccios, peanut butter, muffins, etc.

Just stuff that mouth o'yourn, boy.

>>37405287
>I refused to take pills for bpd.

Wise decision since BPD notoriously doesn't get results from medication. Fuck benzos, all you get is days entirely gone from memory.

You need therapy. I don't have time to do it right here, but that's what you need. Consider DBT.

I must shower. I'm a licensed psychotherapist, though. If the thread is still up, I'll come back.

Hey everyone.

New people here?
I think you posted it too soon, in the last few days it always started few hours later, maybe people just dont know its here

>>37405501
Hey Atlas.

How did it end up with that whore you wanted to message?

>>37405501
Lurking, but at work and can't post. Using phone to youtube laptop repair since power's out in office.

>>37405274
Start exercising again in reasonable amounts, make sure you have a healthy sleep schedule, try not to isolate yourself, and see a doctor about that depression of yours.

>>37405501
>New people here?
I suppose I am a new person. It's my second time here.

>>37405519
Dude, kinda harsh

>>37405647
She's a woman. Chances are, that calling her a whore is entirely justified.

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>>37405647
hey Atlas, is Facet's bullying motivating you to lose weight

>>37405665
there are many women who aren't whores tho i know o-one

>>37405527
Hope you'll join us soon Hero. Good luck with work.

>>37405608
That's good, hopefully things will get moving soon

>>37405665
Ain't you a bag of sunshine today

I'm an emotional wreck, any small thing can make me super fucking sad or happy,
and it keeps happening,
it's like a stress test that keeps pulling on me from both sides,
and I feel like I'm about to break.

>>37405712
I've actually been thinking about doing some excercising today. But Im too damn tired. I'll try to do it tomorrow.
I'll have quite a lot of free time with no stress until I go to college in about 3 months so I'm pretty sure I'll manage to force myself to actually start losing weight until then

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>>37405802
good good. better start the exercise before the stress starts, that way you'll already have a routine and may be able to maintain it

>>37405307
Benzos+alcohol make for a good time though

>>37405837
Yes, exactly my plan.
Sadly i already tried to do this before but couldn't manage to stick to my routine when problems started piling up.
Who knows, maybe this time it will work

>>37405665
What's your problem with women?

>>37405913
DON'T ask Dan about the women

>>37405913
Because I'm extremely insecure. Angry about things that can not be changed, bitter, hateful, alcoholic, fucked in the head.

I'd just rather not go too much into it.

>>37405949
Oh and to expand on my point, look at this post >>37405936

I just don't have a good day today. I'm gonna try to stay away from arguments.

>>37405982
>I'm gonna try to stay away from arguments
no you're not

what has made your day a bad one anyway?

I'm a bit disappointed to have had a rather extreme outburst in such close proximity to a psychedelic experience, but here I am with bruised knuckles and painful soreness in my left foot. I went rampaging through the house while shrieking like a banshee. Certainly the worst explosion in the past few weeks and the funny thing is that I don't even remember what exactly caused it. Probably the recalcitrance of inanimate objects, for which I attempted to punish them, which further increases the likelihood of contact, for which I must again retaliate, and on down the rage spiral it takes me.

>>37405501

Hey Fatlas, I'd sugar coat my advice for your weight problem, but you'd eat that too.

>>37406300
Your description of the events just made my day a little better. Thank you good sir.

>>37406387
You should know better than trying to make fat people angry. With all the strain already on their heart, you never know what might happen.

>>37406387
we all know that's you, Facet

>>37406397
Why would that make your day better? I don't understand.

>>37405501
>I think you posted it too soon,

There shouldn't be opening hours. There are people on this board all the time, so fuck it. Post it whenever. If you only open it at the same hours, people who are here at other hours will never see it.

>>37405665
>She's a woman. Chances are, that calling her a whore is entirely justified.

This is why you don't get laid. Also, illegal comma.

>>37405728
Dan Danning it up! How did it actually go though? have to talked to her more?

>>37405759
How long have you been like this and did anything special cause it?

>>37406300

You're the most fucked up of all the people in the thread, in my opinion. Imagine that, a raging intellectual, punishing objects. I'm terrified just thinking about it. And you take drugs. Scary.

>>37406479
Oh man. You must be trolling. Making it really hard on me not to call you out on your bullshit. But I will not be provoked.

I hate being ugly.
there's no way to get people to like me. maybe someone will settle for me eventually, but no one will ever want me. is it selfish and stupid to be wanted? unreasonable?
I wish suicide wasn't so gruesome. maybe one day I won't care anymore. until then I'll just be here, dying silently for the sake of everyone else.

>>37406445
You wrote it in a comedic way so it made me smile.

>>37406479
How are you feeling today, anonymous poster?

>>37406546
Just how ugly are we talking? Are you 100% positive that you're beyond saving?

>>37406546

Start lifting a barbell and shit. Anyone can get a hot body with some work. 3 hours a week is enough, in three sessions.

Go to a hairdresser and buy tight clothes.

I'm sure you're not ugly. Post your face. Or send it to Nick and ask for an opinion. Nick doesn't lie, unless you're his fiancee. Is that piece of shit going to show up today or what? Haven't had the dishonor of telling him to kill himself in a long time.

>>37406553

I feel like shitposting a bit.

This is 4chan, what the fuck are you expecting?

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>>37406579
>>37406601
I don't know.

I don't want a ripped bod, I want to be a girl, lol.

>>37406788

Who are you talking to? You fucking idiot.

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>>37406601
>Nick doesn't lie, unless you're his fiancee
keked wholeheartedly

>>37406790

You call that ugly? You're not ugly at all, you absolute moron. You're pretty handsome, in fact. Absolutely nothing wrong with you in the looks department. Most girls would sit on that.

But yeah, don't become a girl, faggot.

>>37406497
>How long have you been like this and did anything special cause it?
I always used to go up and down, but since I read a conversation that my best friend had, about relationships and sex, it's getting worse everyday.

>>37406815

Of course you would, you're one of those he fights with, amirite?

I like observing Nick. He's like a fireman on fire.

>>37406845
>I like observing Nick. He's like a fireman on fire.
Honestly this is quite hilarious. Both as a description of Nick and also as something to imagine.

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>>37406845
>you're one of those he fights with, amirite?
yes though for a pretty stupid reason. i just made an observation on him and he took it as an attack. i have no ill feelings towards him tho, i just found your phrase quite funny and true

>>37406790
>I want to be a girl
Could've fooled me. You look pretty young, how old are you? I need to know before I save your picture.

>>37406497
We've talked some more, she even texted my friend to ask if I passed the final tests yesterday coz I was so fucking tired that I forgot to even tell anyone that I did it.
She also told me to try to draw something more positive while Im feeling better about myself, maybe Ill get to it tomorrow.

>>37406790
Pretty sure you've never seen an actually ugly person before

Turned 26 today.

I'm basically terrified of dying. Life seems like a cruel joke, everyone will die, each day is one less day you live, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it.

I've tried being selfish and taking, I've tried being selfless and giving, I've tried having a job, I've tried being unemployed, tried working out, tried locking myself inside my house

Praying every day now but ...

>>37406882
I'm surprised Nick doesn't fight with the whole universe. He makes it his duty to read people's minds, I can't be the only one who find that irritating.

>>37406919

Read about NDE's. Only good shit awaits after death, so relax.

>>37406820
>But yeah, don't become a girl, faggot.
I can't either way. You don't see passable 6'3" trans people in real life.
>>37406893
19
why would you need to know?

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>>37406947
>I can't be the only one who find that irritating
you're not. my observation about him was actually along those lines (drawing conclusions too early, more often than not related to parents as a problem). also for him about half the parents are narcs and a third of "patients" have BPD. it gets ridiculous quickly

>>37406947
>I'm surprised Nick doesn't fight with the whole universe.

Nick has extroardinary patience, I'm sure you'll have noticed. That's why he doesn't fight with everyone, but like anyone, he also has limits he wants respected.

>He makes it his duty to read people's minds, I can't be the only one who find that irritating.

You aren't. But the reason for that being irritating is that he's right most of the time. Now that's a real bitch.

>>37406845
That's very sad. I hope Nick finds a way douse himself. I don't know of any trials for C-PTSD, but MDMA seems to have really good results for standard PTSD. There doesn't seem to be too much of risk for worsening mental condition outside of the come down, which can be mitigated. Entactogens are just something to consider. I hope he won't dismiss it too readily.

>>37406971
Boy, you're already pretty passable in my book.
I like to know the age of people I find attractive. Creeps me out to think I might accidentally have the hots for a high schooler.

>>37406997

I haven't seen him consider anyone's parents narcs more than once in about 3 weeks or so, personally. I'm not here every day but that's off the top of my head.

Everyone has good reasons to find Nick irritating, but often, those reasons have little to do with him. Can't say for you, I just like your art.

>>37407006
>he also has limits he wants respected.
his limits are laughable tho. he fights for foolish things, he assumes a lot from others yet wants nothing to be assumed of him
>>37407006
>the reason for that being irritating is that he's right most of the time
i disagree, he seems more often wrong than right

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>>37407039
>more than once in about 3 weeks or so, personally
you are right but he only stopped it until it was pointed out to him what he was doing. im really glad he's more cautious now. thanks for liking my paintings. it's always reassuring to have someone like what you do

What's the point of this thread? To gossip Nick? Even if what is said here about him was the truth, why say it like this? I mean what's the end game here? What do you gain? I simply don't get the point of this bickering.

You remind me of a bunch of women sitting around, insulting the one who is at the moment not among them.

>>37407030
I dropped out a long time ago, so not a high schooler, just a failure at life.
You're the first person to respond positively to my appearance ever, so you must be like 60, right?

>>37407096
As I've said before, your paintings are very cool. Do you make money from your art?

>>37406839
with the reactions you got i was expecting something traumatic

>>37406917
hey that sounds really promising

>>37406997
Why narcs?

>>37407006
>You aren't. But the reason for that being irritating is that he's right most of the time.
He's only ever been wrong about me so far, and he insisted he was right, that's what pissed me off. He's good at counseling though.

>>37407120
Do you honestly believe you're unattractive or are you just looking for a quick hit of reassurance/n-supply?

>>37407138
>with the reactions you got i was expecting something traumatic
I don't think anything traumatic ever happened in my life

>>37407055
>he assumes a lot from others yet wants nothing to be assumed of him

From what I saw, that's because his assumptions are 90% correct. What's assumed of him that he disputes?

>>37407055
>i disagree, he seems more often wrong than right

I've been lurking his thread for a while, and I disagree. What's something he's been wrong about?

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>>37407136
not currently. ive made money from it from time to time

>>37407108
i cant talk for others but ive told this things to Nick directly already. nothing to hide from him, the subject simply came out as im sure we wonder why he's not present

>>37407108
Change the subject if you want. What's your favorite language?

>>37407096

I see you think yourself the reason for the change. Interesting, but as I recall, he had done it much less for weeks before your feud. Sorry about that.

Also, most of the parents he considered narcs ended up being narcs, again, from memory.

Aren't you the guy who thinks he's on earth to save everyone else? Or am I mistaking you for someone else?

>>37407120
I'm 27 and I happen to be into traps, lucky you. If people genuinely think you're ugly, there has to be something wrong with your body language or behavior. Maybe you wanting to be a girl makes your body language a bit off compared to other males?

>>37407108
>I simply don't get the point of this bickering.

I love gossip. Especially when the people discussed aren't present. It's the best.

>>37407108
>You remind me of a bunch of women sitting around, insulting the one who is at the moment not among them.

Again, this is why you don't get laid. You should sit down with the bitches, deal justice, become an ally, and a friend, and, later, a lover.

Danny boy, talk some shit about Nick, c'mon.

>>37407211
I'm not trying to make you change the subject. I was just voicing my confusion, is all.

When I'm alone in an area of the city that I'm not familiar with I'm kinda concerned that someone might hurt me. For example, today I was waiting the bus in an industrial area, next to a big road. I was alone in the bus station, was there for 15 minutes. Could hear car keys jingling really loud even though they were far away in a parking, I think I heard some voices too even though there was no one near me. I was constantly taking 360 views around myself just to make sure. What's wrong with me?

>>37407176
Or maybe he hates seeing himself as a dude, and processes that as ugliness?

>>37407230
>Again, this is why you don't get laid.
I guess danrail isn't such a bad idea. The reason people don't get laid is because of their bad looks and low quality genes. Confidence, behavior and all that shit follows. If you get born an ugly faggot of course you will not grow up to be confident leader type if you got treated like shit all your life for your ugliness.

So stop that shit about
>And this behavior is why you don't get laid.

>>37407120

I reacted positively too, you homo. I told you you were handsome.

>>37407176
The picture doesn't capture my horse face, but it got my shitty hairline pretty well.

My face doesn't even matter, because I have a dip in my chest that keeps me from taking my shirt off in front of anyone.
>>37407225
I don't know. I don't see people outside of my family that often.
My brother is homophobic and my step dad's side of the family is too. so I just wear oversized ugly shirts that don't draw attention to me.

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>>37407139
>Why narcs?
i can only speculates: he and his doc both agree his parents were narcs. i dont doubt it at all actually but my opinion is that such a thing weighs on him and makes him assume other parents are like his too quickly. i have to say though, lately he has been more cautious (and more right as a result) than he was when i first participated in these threads

>>37407216
>I see you think yourself the reason for the change
not at all, im not the only one who pointed that out to him, i just happen to be the one he decided to get pissed at

>>37407216
>Also, most of the parents he considered narcs ended up being narcs, again, from memory
the "patients" agreed they were narcs. big difference. it is a comforting thought that the fault is almost exclusively on the parents. it makes it easy to accept: every little "error" in the upbringing was taken as a sign of a narc

>>37407139
>He's only ever been wrong about me so far, and he insisted he was right, that's what pissed me off.

I must have missed that one. Tell me about it.

>>37407039
He told me my parents are narcs first day I got into these threads

>>37407294

My vagina clammed shut.

i guess we'll have to disagree then. ive seen him diagnose too many people with bpd without enough facts to back it up

>>37407108
I'd talk to the man himself, but he's never here. So I'll make do with comparing my perception of him with people who know him better than I do.
I am a woman, it is in my nature to sit and bicker.

>>37407341
Not surprising either. Women really hate men who call them out on their behavior towards inferior men. Not surprising. Just like a murderer hates the witness.

>>37407318
>not at all, im not the only one who pointed that out to him,

If you had paid attention as much as I did, you'd have noticed Nick made this a meme about himself, did he not?

>>37407318
>the "patients" agreed they were narcs.

Do you actually know how to recognise a narc yourself?

>>37407331

Are they?

>>37407347

BPD isn't hard to diagnose. Nick will say "BPD traits" if the case isn't hysterically obvious. Emotional dysregulation is fairly easy to pinpoint once you know what to look for.

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>>37407199
>im sure we wonder why he's not present
>imblyign

>>37407348
>I'd talk to the man himself, but he's never here.

From what I know, if you talk to some select regulars here, they can write to him privately. My guess is the druggy with a vast vocabulary has direct contact, also the homo with many personalities, and the nice guy. And maybe Danny Boy as well. I personally think Nick and Danny are former homo lovers who had a fall out. That's why they argue like it's nothing wrong.

>>37407364
>Do you actually know how to recognise a narc yourself?
at least as much as Nick

>>37407364
>If you had paid attention as much as I did, you'd have noticed Nick made this a meme about himself, did he not?
i dont follow. how does this make any difference on his overdiagnosing. anyway, im tired of talking about Nick. I prefer to talk about Nick with Nick himself

>>37407380
>Emotional dysregulation is fairly easy to pinpoint once you know what to look for
but bpd is not the only cause of emotional dysregulation

>>37407381

Nick is always here with us, in spirit, in sprite, in spit.

>>37407380
I don't really think so but hell who knows

>>37407321
I have difficulties expressing anger properly. I can get irritated internally, but it doesn't translate to any change in my behavior. I'm always very calm. It's to the point that I accidentally let louder and angrier people walk all over me.

Nick believes this is due to my parents not teaching me to value myself, which they did.
He also thinks I lack self-confidence, when my self-confidence is actually higher than average.
And lastly, he says I have what he calls "people please syndrome", which doesn't match me in any way except for the lack of anger.

The real clinical truth (which I have found out since then) is that my emotions / emotional behaviors don't function correctly due to brain damage, but I'm otherwise mentally healthy.

>>37407411
>at least as much as Nick

And how much would that be?

>>37407411
>I prefer to talk about Nick with Nick himself

Not recommended, this never goes well. Nick probably spies on every damn fucking thread opened in his absence. My guess is he prefers when we talk about him in his back than when he's around.

On a more serious note, mental illnesses are seriously underdiagnosed, so Nick has a point there. On another serious note, I think Nick is an actual therapist. It takes one to know one. If he isn't a real therapist, he's the most impressive natural I've ever seen. I'm thinking he probably enjoys doing therapy without the pressure of being a professional for a change.

>>37407434
>but bpd is not the only cause of emotional dysregulation

BPD IS emotional dysregulation. That's even its alternative official name.

>>37407468

What's the reason, in your mind, for your absence of expressed anger towards others?

>>37407498
>If he isn't a real therapist, he's the most impressive natural I've ever seen.
He's not a "real" therapist, but he is seriously considering getting the education for one. I think he mentioned that in the thread before.

>>37407527
I'm going to quote the post you just answered, if you don't mind:
>The real clinical truth (which I have found out since then) is that my emotions / emotional behaviors don't function correctly due to brain damage, but I'm otherwise mentally healthy.

>>37406949
I find those stories very hard to believe in, because the people have not been dead. I have dreams of afterlife and OOB aswell, but I'm not mistaking them for reality.

>>37407283
You are just as safe/unsafe as in your familiar quarter, however the new environment increases your fight/flight responses, thus you become more sharp and alert. Just act like everyone else, avoid the places other normal people avoid, and stop being paranoid as that will likely just draw attention to you.

>>37407498
>And how much would that be?
not enough obviously
>>37407498
>My guess is he prefers when we talk about him in his back than when he's around
probably but i still prefer to tell him face to face
>>37407498
>I think Nick is an actual therapist
not trying to be mean here but i really hope he's not. for even if he has good intentions i believe he rushes into conclusions too fast

>>37407507
but disorders other than BPD can cause emotional dysregulation. one that comes to mind is bipolar

>>37407535

I think he should. You'd see him even less, but these past few days showed he's not needed for group therapy. You guys manage together, though nobody else does what he did, in my opinion. He may be a fireman on fire, but the man has water for your burning souls.

>>37407283
Do you have issues with anxiety or stress?

>>37407549

So when you get angry and say/do nothing, the reason in your mind is "I'm brain damaged"?

Nothing like, "I don't want to upset him/her"?

>>37407283
Have you been diagnosed with any mental illnesses in the past? Do you have a history of drug use? Are there any other, more persistent symptoms?

Sludge thread today. Gonna be reading this thread for a while though

>>37407596
>I think he should
same. seems to me he could be a great therapist if he got properly trained

>>37406601
What the fuck happened with nick? Genuinely curious

>>37407577
>not enough obviously

Then you can't judge his knowledge of it, logically speaking. I'm all for talking shit about absentees, especially Nickerfucker, but it has to make some sense.

>probably but i still prefer to tell him face to face

Make sure I'm present before this happens.

>not trying to be mean here but i really hope he's not. for even if he has good intentions i believe he rushes into conclusions too fast

Could it be because he doesn't know whether anons will come back and prefers to throw potential diagnoses and ideas around so people can figure out for themselves? That tends to be his modus operandi. Throw shit in the air, see what sticks. If I'm not mistaken, he does ask people what they think of his diagnoses, he doesn't judge himself directly.

But hey, I'd trust a messiah sent to us to save the world over Nickerfucker any day of the week.

>>37407596
He's certainly got a high opinion of his prowess. All completely justified, no doubt.

>>37407595
>but disorders other than BPD can cause emotional dysregulation. one that comes to mind is bipolar

Yes, but it's pretty easy to see the difference between the two: BPD dysregulation doesn't come out of nowhere, while bipolar stuff is almost like a clock and not related to events. The cycles don't last the same, either. Bipolar can last months, while BPD stuff can change throughout a single day.

>>37407625

Hey you, I saw your thread the other day, and I don't recall seeing you in Nick's thread before. So, naturally, I got curious. Would you mind telling me about who you are?

>>37407626
>if he got properly trained

I got properly trained, and I know a lot of therapists who got properly trained, but they're still shit and fucked up in their own right. The most important thing is the vocation. You have it or you don't.

>>37407656
>What the fuck happened with nick? Genuinely curious

In the threads? In his life? I lurk his thread for the drama, mostly, but also because as a therapist myself, I find his endeavours fascinating. Here's a man who does for free what I do for 150 bucks an hour. And he does it better than me. I don't show that much patience, not even for money. Sometimes I wonder if you guys even realise how patient he is with you, despite his occasional anger. Maybe he's absent because he's run out of patience, in fact.

I want to make music but my anxiety is getting in the way big time

I can't play anything I make too loudly because I'm worried people will hear it. I get really embarrassed about what I make and I come up with hundreds of reasons for why it's shit. I feel the same about singing, even when I'm alone I can't sing. I don't know wtf is wrong with me, I haven't practiced in months because of this

It may sound trivial but making music is important to me, it's something I want to do so any help would be appreciated

>>37407677

Probably narc leftovers.

>>37407761

I want to hear your music.

>>37407772
I second that. Let's hear it

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>>37407659
>Then you can't judge his knowledge of it, logically speaking
actually this is not true at all. my limitations help me see his limitations. i can for example tell a bad football player from a good one even knowing very little about football
>>37407659
>Could it be because he doesn't know whether anons will come back and prefers to throw potential diagnoses and ideas around so people can figure out for themselves?
that's a good point. may be but still his approach seems rather unorthodox to me: he makes affirmations then he asks. that can mislead patients. just so we're clear, i think Nick would be a terrific therapist if he got trained
>>37407701
bipolar can also change from day to day on certain moments that's why i think it is important to ask more questions

>>37407723
im not denying this at all, maybe im just saying that training would help him conduct the therapy a lot better. less affirmations early on and more questions, also a better knowledge of what to look for

anyway, im done talking about Nicky. as i said i rather talk to him about himself

>>37407752
>Sometimes I wonder if you guys even realise how patient he is with you, despite his occasional anger.
As a guy who is out of all of us capable of making him probably the angriest I really do. That's why I've been kinda stepping back lately. Not derailing or anything. I feel like I owe it to him, to at least not shit on his effort even if I'm struggling with myself. As much as I can control myself anyways.

>>37407752
Last time i checked this thread i got the impression he was actually trying to help people out, so i don't really get the hate in this thread. Some anon here are pissed off because he was wrong about something he assumed (?) but i don't really get all the drama, but again, this is r9k...

>>37407761

Stop caring what people think for a while. Think about how you act when you hear a really mediocre singer/band. You just call them trash, and forget about them. Thats it, thats the worst that will happen to you.

>>37407761
You just have to do it. Whatever sounds you produce don't represent your full potential, that's why you have to practice. I've experienced some similar feelings. It gets way easier if you just take the leap, to the point where you may be so brazen as to callously annoy the people around you with incessant noise making. Do it now, you'll be fine.

>>37407772
>>37407788

I cant do that because I mainly use my looper pedal to get ideas out (have a bass, acoustic and electric which I use for it).

I have nothing recorded basically, and I'm definitely not sharing as you can probably gather from my post.

>>37407611
No, this is how it goes:
>someone does something shitty to me
>I immediately call them out on it
>they start arguing back
>I realize I don't have anything to say that I haven't already said when I called them out
>I realize my emotional response has already died down
>Arguing back in that state takes an inhuman amount of effort because it requires expressing emotions I don't have and it feels awkward and ridiculous to fake it
>I give up
>I don't have an emotional response to giving up
>I realize there's no incentive for me to stick to my guns, in fact apathy costs less brain power than faking normal emotional responses
>It becomes my way of life

The lack of emotional drive is very difficult to describe. It's like driving a car in a race and suddenly running out of fuel. You know it's technically possible to refill the car, but for now you feel like an idiot standing alone with an empty car in the middle of a race.

Not being honest with others is worse than upsetting them, in my book. I'd rather tell a shitty truth than lie and pretend it's all fine.

>>37407768
Not a meal I'd find appetizing.

>>37407814
Also reading my post now makes me feel like a retard because I'm talking about something perfectly normal (not shitting on effort of someone who is trying to help you) as if it was an achievement ...

>>37407797
>his approach seems rather unorthodox to me

No shit, he's on /r9k/.

>he makes affirmations then he asks.

At least he asks, and he generally asks if you agree with his affirmation. That's much more than a lot of therapists, you know.

> less affirmations early on and more questions

In a traditional context, 1 hour or two a week, face to face, things would be very, very different. I think Nick goes for fast efficiency whenever he can, this being 4chan.

Let's talk about your art.

Hey everyone, whatsup? How was your day?

>>37407814
>As a guy who is out of all of us capable of making him probably the angriest I really do.

I confirm this. The thread where he got allcapsmad for hours, that was glorious. I'd like you to do it again. Upset Nick is fun to watch.

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Look at this shit I'm about to kill someone

>>37407906
Hello
It's been surprisingly good but I'm incredibly tired
How about yours?

>>37407820

Nick let it slip that he had a big Italian cock, and now all the robots are mad as hell. (And it's probably true.)

>be me yesterday
>have second date with girl, we hit it off instantly and make out passionately
>looks like i'm getting out of the robotness
>she tells me to sleep in her place
>we smoke 2 joints and drink wine
>things get hot
>get so nervous and i couldn't get hard

kill me my dudes, this fucking sucks

>>37407827
Well it's because; if you can call it an ambition; I want to be a successful songwriter; I want to be able to make a living playing the music I make.

>>37407835
I'm worried about being laughably bad. Given that I haven't practised singing for ages I probably am pretty bad. I'm excited about anything I make, but I don't even know if I can trust my own opinion of it as I'm so influenced by my moods, if that makes sense

>>37407906
Shitty, but being able to socialize a bit here is making it better.

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>>37407901
>Let's talk about your art
sure, i don't call it art myself but im open to discuss it if you're interested. are you interested in one in particular from the ones ive posted?

>>37407960
If she dumps you over this she's a fucking dick, pun intended.

>>37407974
You drew this? Holy shit

>>37407961
Doooo it. Just sing some scales, sustained notes, quick successions, vocal improvisation type stuff. It's just nonsense, so there's nothing to screw up unless you don't do it at all and never gain control of your voice.

>>37407974
>i don't call it art myself
What the hell else would it be?

>>37407864

And this never happened before your brain damage?

>>37407935
Mine was eventful, finally feel sociable again, time to start counting the happy days. I forgot how great it felt to be hopeful again.

>>37407872

Don't worry, from what I understand, there's nothing you could do that would make Nick genuinely dislike you.

When Nick gets allcapsmad, it basically means he loves you.

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>>37408053
just paintings, drawings. i feel that it's not my role to define it as art or else.

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>>37408018
thanks man. that's a nice reaction

>>37407974

Explain this one to me. I like it.

>>37407966
Sad to hear it was a shitty day, but good to know that this thread helps others, it sure helped me

>>37408105
One of the my favorites that you've posted. Nice work.

>>37408099

Paintings and drawings are art. Art can be shit, or great, but art is art. It's art.

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>>37405078
Normanio and his normal problems REEEEEEEEEEEEE GTFO MY BOARD!!!!!!#!!

>>37408099
This type of drawing reminds me of Superjail, a pretty messed up (but great) cartoon i watched

>>37408096
Glad to hear that someone is doing good here, hope it lasts for you

Gonna go to sleep guys, Im totally dead.
Dont piss off each other too much

Good night everyone

>>37408071
We still don't know the cause of said brain damage. It shows up, but I've never had any kind of head trauma that I can remember. And I've always had a weird emotional response. I don't experience guilt, for instance. My empathetic response is also partially malfunctioning. I'm not picking examples randomly here, the fact that I can't experience guilt at all and don't experience normal levels of empathy are not exactly compatible with Nick's theory.

>>37408233
Sleep tight my man

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>>37408121
that one is actually a collage of various drawings but it ended up having meaning. at the bottom from left to right i wanted to illustrate four stances of faith: looking elsewhere from meaning, repentance and despair, abnegation and serenity, and illumination. at the top center there's the new god dyonisus that will follow the reign of zeus, he's pregnant with a new world. often times dyonisus is related to bachus because he's a god of fun in a sense. at the left and right countryside scenes because hes a more natural, less uptight god. at the top right a man transforming into an animal which is more less what happens with wine, a prefered drink of dyonisus. sorry if the explanation is lacking. english is not my first language
>>37408148
thanks mate, i really appreciate it
>>37408153
i guess you either have a broader definition of art that i do or i just feel there is less responsibility if i dont call it art. probably the latter
>>37408175
>Superjail
i'll look it up

>>37408275
>and don't experience normal levels of empathy are not exactly compatible with Nick's theory.

99% of the people here have low empathy, and some of them have parents whom Nick describes as narcs, so I don't see how that works at all.

Are you telling me these oddities were always present? If so, how do you know the brain damage causes them?

Absence of guilt is generally a good sign of absence of empathy. Not having much empathy will also make it hard for you to know when someone else has empathy or lack thereof.

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>>37404224
I finally had the balls to tell my crush that I liked her. she said she likes me as a friend. I'm suicidal again.

>>37408333
>I finally had the balls to tell my crush that I liked her.

Why do people think that's a good idea? Are you guys fucking retarded?

Imagine if a girl you sort of like came up to you and said that? Suddenly, the responsibility of her heart is all yours. That's fucking scary. Especially when you don't know the person too well. Never do that shit!

People will know if you like them, no need to say anything.

Anyway, no great loss. Move on to someone else.

>>37408333
Did she say she is not the girl for you,that you deserve someone better, and that she might make you a bad person?

>>37408449
Thats how people learn, we all either learn it by failing or by someone experienced telling us. He just learned the hard way, by failing.

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>>37405802
>Two-Forks thinks he can lift himself thin
Calories in, calories out you fat shit. Let me guess, you're 'bulking' right now? You're not fooling anyone you jelly-bellied snot-stain. If you can press a ton but can't do a single press-up what does that tell you? Jesus Christ if calisthenics qualifies as powerlifting, maybe stop those pizza curls and fried chicken raises huh?

>>37408491

He could have learned that without failing.

You should really spend more time asking Nick how to seduce women. Seems to me this faggot is a success when it comes to drilling pussies he shouldn't be drilling.

>>37408526
>Seems to me this faggot is a success when it comes to drilling pussies he shouldn't be drilling
not anymore, now he is a celibate. at least he's not an incel tho

>>37408526
You seem really negative and passive-aggresive, whats wrong anon?

>>37408522

This one has to be one of the most interesting tripfags of this thread, and of the entire board, and website.

Literally like four-in-one.

People thought I was you, earlier.

>>37408560

It's fun to hate on Nick. I don't really hate him, though. Just for fun.

I'll bet Nick somehow slips into another wrongful poon before the end of the summer.

>>37408562
Thanks anon, whoever you are. I'm guessing stealth Nick.

>>37404224
>be 20 years old
>be very tall but skinny
>living with mom
>Having almost no empathy
>More intelligent than 90% of people i have ever met
>having a good education, being able to visit a university
>like you guess, also being a narcist
>having violent fantasy
>being manipulative towards other people
>being non-virgin but still a have hatred towards women (especially my ex gf)
>being unemployed
>smoked weed literally every day since novembre 2015
>behave like a hidden villain towards the people who consider me as a friend
>being very vengeful towards people who annoy me
>being just seen as a weirdo (almost nobody knows whats behind the mask)
>no one sees me as a threath (I am always acting in the background)
>still fucked up some of my enemies relationships, employments, what ever
>UberDexterFan

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Fuck HP and their $50 STICKERS. This is bullshit and anyone who pays that is an idiot.

>>37408584
Are you usually this way or are you doing this for the lolz? You write the way I think, like an ironic cynic

>>37408327
Nick never mentioned narcissistic parents, his theory was that I had "people pleaser syndrome". I don't see that as compatible with a high self-esteem, a lack of guilt and a malfunctioning empathetic response. There's just no strong psychological motivators left to blindly please people. Or maybe I'm just selfish and I can't tell the difference?
I don't have low empathy either, I have strong empathy, but it's limited to specific situations.

Yes these things were always there, and as I said, the brain damage shows up on scan so yeah I'm pretty sure it's there. You sound doubtful about it, it's not the end of the world if Nick made a mistake you know.

>>37408587

He's probably spying on us, maybe a few posts, but it ain't me, babe. Nick would have showed up to claim any compliment made to him as an anon. He's the type.

>>37408590
what a goddamn normie

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>>37404224
Have bad OCD, and am on anti-psychotics. Worried about brain shrinking stuff I read about.
>Don't want an OCD brain.
>Don't want a damaged brain.
What do I do?

>>37408660
Well fair dos. Feel free to identify yourself in future. Or don't. Either way I - and at least one other - appreciate the compliment. If you're around on Saturday it's a nigh certainty if you want to talk to the others.

>>37408660
If Nick's anyone, he's the anon arguing with me. Aside from my loved ones, I've never seen anyone try that hard to wish my brain damage out of existence.

>>37408678
If this dude doenst talk bullshit he isnt a normie He is even worse than you Robotfags

>>37408684
I read your post as
>Have a bag OCD

Damn that picture.

>>37408590
Why did you end up like that? Do you know?

>>37408626

In it for the lolz. I normally don't participate, I lurk. As I said, I'm a therapist and I find Nick bro fascinating.

>>37408653
>Nick never mentioned narcissistic parents, his theory was that I had "people pleaser syndrome".

He was going there.

>I don't see that as compatible with a high self-esteem,

It is, if it's a fake kind of self-esteem.

How do you not feel guilt if you feel empathy?

>it's not the end of the world if Nick made a mistake you know.

In this case, I care less about Nick making mistakes than making sense of your case, for your own interest. Not everything has to be about Nickerfucker.

It remains that since you never had head trauma, and never had a change of personality, you have very little evidence to suggest the brain damage, if it is brain damage at all, is the source of it.

>>37408684

Brain parts do shrink when stressed and such, but it's not permanent, they grow back when you feel better. So, feel better.

>>37408689

Duly noted. I should think about a name.

>>37408729

Not everyone asking you questions is Nick. It's not the end of the world if you're wrong, you know.

>>37408761
I am a millenial snowflake --> Narcism
Almost every girl i ever spoke to rejected me instant Had only 2 girls for only a few of weeks--> Hatred for women
Was backstabbed by my so called friends many times --> so if my current friends starting to hate me i will stab them

Empathy is something i never had
i think its something with my genetics
Maybe i am a born psychopath

So I'm getting angry dealing with HP's bullshit and pisspoor designs, how's everyone else doing?

>>37408754
I find it a little hypnotic.

>>37408876

Damn, you unsexy motherfucker.

>>37408847
>I should think about a name
How about Diogenes?

>>37408911
>How about Diogenes?

Too classy and cultured for me. I want something trashier. I know dude was literally a punk in ancient Greece, but it still sounds too classy and cultured.

>>37408847
Thanks, I hope you're right. I guess I'm making things worse by constantly worrying.

>>37408954
Crust, as in crust punk

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>>37408954
How about Dio?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkysjcs5vFU
and the better version ( but still, it's Dio's song):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NR7dG_m3MsI

>Captcha: 500m Santana
Was Kek listening?

>>37408954
how about "penisjokeXXXD"

>>37408994

Yes, relax, you'll be fine. Brain parts are very adaptable. They get smaller and reactive when under attack, basically.

>>37409004
>Crust, as in crust punk

>Crust punk (also known as crustcore or simply crust) is a form of music influenced by hardcore punk and extreme metal. The style, which evolved in the mid-1980s in England, often has songs with dark and pessimistic lyrics that linger on political and social ills.

I'll take that.

>>37408826
>How do you not feel guilt if you feel empathy?
I don't know. Ask my neurologist, not me.

>It remains that since you never had head trauma, and never had a change of personality, you have very little evidence to suggest the brain damage, if it is brain damage at all, is the source of it.
-The reason I saw a neurologist in the first place was because my issues sounded neurological to them, instead of psychological like me and my family thought at the time
-Brain damage shows up on scan
-There are several possible explanations for it
-Damaged areas match the skills I lack (malfunctioning empathetic response matches damaged mirror neurons, etc)

I don't know what more you want, my dude. I'm flattered by your interest but it's not going to be possible to talk about my psychology if we don't work with the same data.

Hey guys, just got here. Won't be for long, but I'll read what you guys are up to

>>37408876
>Was backstabbed by my so called friends many times

How did that go? Any chance of you over reacting?

>>37408876
What's it like, not having empathy? What is it like seeing others have empathetic reaction while you feel nothing at all?
Also do you feel guilt?

>>37408871
Oh, I like you.
I'd love to believe you, but the doctors warned against getting my hopes up.

Anyone know a good book thats from the perspective of someone psychotic/schizo but with a philosophical twist to it? Mainly i want philosophical books that look into the way we think or how altered is each of our perspectives.

>>37409100
At example
I had a female friend
>called me her best friend forever
>always called me telling me about every problem she ever had
>Had sex with her once
>still stood be friends for 2 years
>she got a bf
>accidently mentioned that i had sex with her once
>her bf went mad
>she never wanted to see me again

>>37409082
>I don't know. Ask my neurologist, not me.

No. I ask you. When you hurt people, do you not feel guilty?

You said specific situations before, I'm curious about that.

>>37409183

Fuck the boyfriend and straighten it all up.

>>37409167
Try the Horla

>>37409205
For what reason?
To be friends again with this a bitch that backstabbed me?

>>37408333
I'm impressed you had the balls to say it. It might be depressing and a bit awkward around her, but just keep trying to improve yourself like you are right now. Self confidence is important so work on yourself and feel good about yourself. Keep your chin up, you've obviously got courage and will, you'll get a girl.

>>37409138
Not him, but I have low and extremely selective empathy. It's stressful because in certain situations it feels like a race against the clock to fake or at least simulate 'appropriate' emotions. It's like being asked a series of questions in a second language that you're shaky on. Chances are you can muddle through picking up on cues and reference points but if you fuck it people are going to know and it will be extremely obvious. I worry a lot about being 'discovered' as it were. Not least because I'm in an extroverted normie job.

>>37409138
Its a miracle to me how other people can guess their opponents mind
I ve learned to interpretate some peoples facial expression but its more like logical thinking to me than actual understand what people feel

>>37409227

Not if he just drops his spaghetti right away like that. "I like you" never does anything to seduce anyone, you only say it when BOTH know that there's something going on already. Otherwise forget it.

It's a lot of pressure to be liked by someone, only faggots with low self-esteem don't realise that other people think more of them than they do themselves, and as a result don't realise that others will actually care enough not to want to risk breaking their heart.

You don't say "I like you" with your mouth, retards, you say it with your eyes. Otherwise it sounds exactly like:

"I am autism and I want to fuck you."

I'm having problems waking up. I just toss and turn in a half-conscious state for hours in the morning. Eventually I'll have a dream and be able to permanently wake up from it, usually with a cold sweat. Feels like shit. Whats happening?

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Ok guys please give me some sense of direction

>Male, 29 years old, physically healthy

especially the last few years I have these periods (lets say 2 weeks) where I'm either:

>really happy, positive, optimistic and see the bright side of nearly everything, have good ideas etc

OR

>really negative, only focus on things that are/went 'wrong' with my life, be really sad and can only think of wanting to get away from everything currently going on in my life

Is this a reason to visit a doctor? Or just something most people have?

>>37409207
Found an audiobook for it, listening to it right now, thanks

>>37409300

See a psychiatrist and keep the bipolar deal in mind. In fact, read about bipolar for yourself first.

>>37409188
No, I don't. For instance, I steal money from my family because it's convenient for me and I know I won't get caught.
I respond to emotions, so when someone is visibly sad, I feel for them. I don't respond to actions though, so if someone dies or gets hurt, I don't feel anything.
When I steal from my mother, I don't feel anything about her having less money. I can feel a tiny little bit for her when she can't afford stuff, it's unfortunate, but that's just how things are. I know logically that it's my fault, but my brain doesn't make the emotional connection there, it seems.

>>37409223
>that backstabbed me
Honestly, thats too much.

Priorities change man. Her biggest mistake was not to tell you "I'm sorry, but this is how it is". She was wrong. But not enough to hold that kind of grudge for years, letting it influence your future friendships

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>>37409300
It sounds like manic depressions
The problem with this is the climaxes will become more extreme over time.
>Feel invicible
>jump out of the window

>Feel like Shit
>Drink rat poison

>>37409236
Yeah, I know the feel. Every time something big happens I probably lose ten years of life span due to stress alone.

>>37409464
I probably lose the most sleep over things that haven't happened or might have happened offstage desu. Agonising over minutiae and extrapolating all kinds of nonsense that I convince myself of.

>>37409394
It was only one example
I trust nobody anymore

I still have some friends but I prefer to know more of their weakpoints than they know about me

>>37409236
>Not him, but I have low and extremely selective empathy.
Well it doesn't show Facet, you've really helped me some few days ago

>>37409279
That's fair, but we don't really know the dyamics of their relationship. Sometimes people think their love will be reciprocated. I think being willing to put himself out there is admirable, so I think if he doesn't let it get to him too much and learns to read people a bit better he'll get a girl. If he learns not to drop his spaghetti and he's in his own strike range, he'll eventually get a girl, simply by virtue of the fact that he is putting himself out there. Everybody drops spaghetti every now and then, but if you let that stop you from trying, you'll lose.

>>37409391

Plenty of people think like this without the brain damage bit. Pretty sad.

You know right from wrong, whether you feel empathy or not, so there's no excuse for you.

You steal from your mother. You know it's wrong, yet you do it. There's a whole lot more that's wrong with you than just brain damage. You like the brain damage thing because it removes responsibility from you.

I think you're more responsible than you want to think.

You sure sound like a dream to live with.

>>37409548
That means a great deal to me. I'm always second guessing myself and I'm genuinely pleased that I could lend a hand. I do my best to help others as much as possible.

>>37409550
It is admirable. Like a retard struggling in the special olympics.

I'm sorry man. But you don't do girls like Disney showed us.

>>37409447
Ok this sounds pretty scary, shouldn't it have manifested more already, since I'm 28 years old?

I mean like, yeah I feel sad but nothing yet which is totally out of control

>>37409300
Have you been like this for a while? Is it random or does something trigger these episodes? It may be manic depression, but people do get like this without serious illness. Don't jump to conclusions, pay attention to how you feel, and if it seems to persist for no discernable reason see a doctor.

>>37409696
Actually I think it's most intense when the season change from summer -> winter and vice versa for some reason

Yo wassup Nick, maybe you're in this thread or not, just thought I'd let you know it's all good at the moment
At gf's house in bed with her, posting on the chan, remember boys there's always hope
>inb4 chad

>>37409684
Depends on it when it started
Also your mental health at all is important
Some people get insane in a couple of weeks
others live with it for decades

>>37409614
>Like a retard struggling in the special olympics.
Im stealing that

>>37409696
And also, usually I get triggered when I'm really bummed about something (like dating didn't go as expected, being broke when it's not a good time, stuff like that)

>>37409573
>You like the brain damage thing
Fuck off. I might be dying. Do you really think I enjoy that?

And for your information, I never implied or said I was somehow not responsible for my actions.

Scientific curiosities has boundaries. I've been patient with you so far because I value curiosity but that little comment crosses the fucking line.
For someone who takes the moral high ground you sure don't hesitate to be cruel.

>>37409754
It could be seasonal affective disorder. A common disorder where major depressive disorder occurs at a specific time of the year and fully remits otherwise. Again, think about it, and see a doctor if you think it's necessary.

>>37409757
Thanks for keeping us in mind Chad.

Work's over, here for the rest of the thread now. What've I missed today?

>>37409851
Allright thanks for the help Pete much appreciated

>>37409875
Hey Hero, its the usual day in here, minds struggling and seeking answers.

>>37409614
I don't know the specifics of the relationship. Maybe you're right, but I think it's a good thing to just have a go.

>>37409829
>Fuck off. I might be dying. Do you really think I enjoy that?

Stay polite, fuckhead. Either you knew what I meant and are twisting the interpretation on purpose, or you really didn't get it. Either you understand that your liking of the brain damage is restricted to its giving you an excuse to act like a cunt, or you don't get it and aren't worth my time.

> I've been patient with you so far

Oh please get lost very, very quickly. I'm no Nick, I don't give a fuck about you, bitch. Get lost, really, really fast. Thanks.

>but that little comment crosses the fucking line.

Boohoo you fat cunt. Real sorry I wasted my time trying to help such a waste of space as you.

>For someone who takes the moral high ground you sure don't hesitate to be cruel.

Yeah, it's all in the name. I never claimed any moral high ground, pinhead, but I was never cruel either. You're just a pathetic person.

Now get fucked. I'm done with you. Next.

>>37409875
Not much.
Crusty the clown over there made a girl cry. Could be a good headline for a local newspaper.

>>37409869
You're welcome little boy

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I'm extremely tempted to break into the remainder... It will probably be the largest amount I've taken to date, so it should be valuable even with my tolerance. If I do buckle and commune with the flesh of the gods, would any of you be interested in periodic updates/reports? Just asking because I don't want to pollute the thread if it will be seen as annoying.

>>37409970
Whoaaaa, triggered much?

>>37409995
It wouldn't be annoying but I do think that you would be better served by exercising patience so that the effect will be more powerful.

>>37410003
>Whoaaaa, triggered much?

You guys aren't used to being called on your bullshit, I know, I saw it. Not my problem, quite frankly.

>>37409995
I would love to read through your trip bro, im fascinated with this type of shit

>>37409924
Anything interesting or unusual while I was wageslaving away?
>>37409981
Who's that? Or is that a hidden joke I don't get?
>>37409995
What are you talking about?

>>37410025
I know, but that is sadly beyond me. Plus, my storage arrangements are suboptimal and I'm very worried that they won't actually keep. I would feel much worse if I did control my impulses for longer only to find ruined fungi.

>>37410040
Charming.
At least Nick had some tact and a basic grasp on human decency.

>>37410040
And so you chose to insult at the slightest sign of "bullshit"? Are you so explosive in real life? Does it go past verbal attacks?

>>37410115
Fair enough then. In that case you'd best proceed. I wish you a safe journey.

>>37410096
Nevermind that, I'm a bit emotional.
You can always scroll back up to Crust's posts if you're curious.

>>37409987
One day, I'll be with a girl again. And another day, I'll be with a girl comfortable enough that I can post in 4chan without fearing she will realize what I am and run away.

>>37409995
Nah man, you said you'd wait until the end of the week. Chill.

>>37410125

Keep in mind: I'm not paid to do this shit. I have zero reason to put up with any bullshit whatsoever. As soon as I detect some fuckery, I'll call it so and kick the fucker out of my sight.

Offline isn't 4chan. I'm here mainly for the lulz, but if I can help, I will, just not to the point where I have to do baby-management with some entitled cunt. None of that for me. My help is given on my terms, or not at all.

>>37410209
I think this is my cue to remind you that you were the one who approached me to ask questions because you were interested in knowing what Nick had gotten wrong, and at no point did I ever ask for your help.

Why do I see everything as a series of patterns and consequences? I am so logical that I always forget the human element in the argument, for instance when there's some sort of terrorist attack I don't feel a shred of emotion and I always pick apart the shitty pattern of people saying "Pray for *insert place name here*" And everyone seems really shocked, I know i'm not a sociopath I can feel true emotion (I have a really bad temper for instance) i just want to know why I'm so fuckin cold and logical about everything

>>37410163
I'm slightly worried that I'm going to be punished by malevolent entities for being so gluttonous and not fully appreciating the previous experiences. Entity contact is one of the my goals for taking a very high dose. If I do this, I do anticipate not wanting to talk in at least a few parts of the trip. I'm not going to attempt to power through this for the sake of the report, I'll just refrain from talking when I feel like it so as to maintain the integrity of the ordeal. Just in case my absence raises questions.

>>37410177
Ah I see.
>>37410209
Why so aggressive though? I see the point of what you were trying to say but nobody else will probably be able to read into your post past the attitude.

File: 0j8sUznV5gWnWNIZzSR6iuVfNDnoXRGJqP7XWGUuQgY.jpg (48KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

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Here is my complex problem.
Most of my peers are either too scared to actually speak to me in person (I'm not known for outbursts of rage) and if they ever do, it's usually just a nothingburger "How was your day" question. These people in particular seem to have no spine, as they only follow (metaphorically speaking) certain people.
An example is how they rarely introduce themselves to new people, only after someone braver does. [another time we were playing sardines and as soon as it was MY turn to hide, they simply played a different game until my older brother decided to start looking for me. (then suddenly they decide to look for me.) in one game one of them had to find and kill me. they used the fecking intercom.] Naturally, i've grown to despise them as a whole, and they know i hate them now. What am i to do?

>>37410205
Don't think that'll be happening. Thanks for the advice, even though I have to reject it.

>>37410292

Hmmm possible INTP?

>>37410096
Have you realized what I'm talking about or do I need to be explicit? I suppose it doesn't matter, we're beyond the possibility of plausible deniability. Notice my use of the word "fungi."

>>37410326
>Why so aggressive though?

Why not? It's earned.

>nobody else will probably be able to read into your post past the attitude.

No fucks given. I'm not here for other people. I'm here for myself. I'll help when I can, but this thread isn't my job. Motherfuckers will get kicked the fuck out of my sight at the first sign of bullshit or attitude. I may have patients, but I have no patience for this kind of shit on a 4chan thread, unpaid. Now you know.

>>37410357
>they know you hate them
>they won't talk to you
Do you see how these are related Scott?>>37410418
Got it. I didn't get from your other post but other responses gave me the context I needed. Appreciate the effort to clarify though.

>>37410318
Screw your courage to the sticking place. I especially look forward to hearing about the entities. I wish I could consult some of my own about my own situation.

I'm not a monster. I'm defective, but I'm not a monster.

>>37409285
haalp me guys

>>37410478
I'm not hopefully that I'll be so fortunate. It really would require a pretty high dose. You never know until you gobble them up, though. I've commenced consumption, lads.

>>37410444
>ask someone about their problems
>don't like their answers
>explode on them for their answers
Nobody ASKED for your help. If you're going to try to help someone here at least be civil, else kindly either be quiet or gtfo. Don't Danrail our thread please.

>>37410507

I'm sure that money you steal from your mother goes to a charity, eh?

Cunt.

>>37410551

Anxiety, I'd say. It disturbs your sleep.

>>37410551
...Put an alarm clock? If that isn't enough to be an adult, see a doctor? What could we possibly say to help?

>>37410571
>Nobody ASKED for your help.

And? The people who need the most help typically don't ask for it. I won't help the ingrate very long, however, don't worry.

>>37410357
I don't know how old you are, but if it's clear that you don't like them and they don't like you, why are you bothered? If you have to go to school or work with these people it will be annoying, that's understandable. You should try and build a social life outside of these people, and realise that these peers you don't like don't matter all that much.

>>37410464
they never spoke to me even before they found out I hate them.

>>37409285
>>37410551
Have you consulted a sleep specialist yet? If not I'd suggest a quick internet search and look for one in your area.
>>37410619
Are you a very antisocial person, or do you make friends easily?
>>37410602
At this point I will just ask you leave. Attacking people here solves nothing except driving people away. So, in the nicest way possible, fuck all the way off.

>>37410671
I've made easy friends in the past 2 years from other events, sports, and programs.

>>37410671
>At this point I will just ask you leave.

That's cute.

>Attacking people here solves nothing except driving people away.

Maybe some people deserve to be driven away, don't you think?

>So, in the nicest way possible, fuck all the way off.

Attacking people does nothing but drive them away, you say as you verbally attack me when I never attacked you, and tell me to go away? That's confusing.

Anyway, you can't force me out, for one, but I take good note that you dislike my presence here. I will stand for myself and dish out whatever insults I believe is deserved by the people who interact with me. It's so much more satisfying.

>>37410602
This isn't even about him anymore. You're inviting yourself into their problems. You're acting as if you're owed some sort of lenience over an abrasive tone in return for an uninvited service.

That shit's like throwing some depressed fella out of bed and saying "you're out of bed so start the day faggot. You're welcome." Whether or not they stay on the floor is still up to them. And all you've done is be a dick.

Some of us react very well to this sort of negativity. Craving it is a part of our neurosis. But at least try and discern whether or not that's the case if that's what you're going for.

>>37410784
>Maybe some people deserve to be driven away, don't you think?
yeah. you.

Whats so hard about letting someone be?

>>37410784
>>37410822
Now I'm certain that you aren't doing this for anyone's sake but your own.

>>37410822
>And all you've done is be a dick.

Dicks are awesome. Suck on one some time.

>>37410839
>yeah. you.

Epic snaps.

>Whats so hard about letting someone be?

I dunno, ask yourself: why can't you let me be?

>>37410843

Was there ever any doubt?

>>37410565
Three left. Do I dare to take them all?

>>37410903
That sounds awfully self destructive.

>>37410903

Good luck anyway.

>>37410903
I suppose I do. I confess I'm feeling nervous. I'll only be alone for another hour and it's hot both inside and out.

>>37410956
It's less self-destructive and more wasteful.>>37410983

>>37410979
Thank you, kindly sir. One and a half to go. This will make ten.

>>37411048
How are you taking them? Tea?

>>37410784
>Maybe some people deserve to be driven away, don't you think?
Occasionally. I know one right now.
>Attacking people does nothing but drive them away, you say as you verbally attack me when I never attacked you, and tell me to go away? That's confusing.
Its simple. I want you to stop harassing and abusing other poster here, and want you to leave. So I berate you, so you'll leave maybe.
>Anyway, you can't force me out, for one, but I take good note that you dislike my presence here. I will stand for myself and dish out whatever insults I believe is deserved by the people who interact with me. It's so much more satisfying.
You can "stand for yourself" without attacking others who've done NOTHING to you. I know I cannot make you leave, but don't pretend you're trying to help anyone.
>>37410897
Because you started attacking someone here unwarranted.

>>37411017
I mean mostly in that it could just cause you undue distress.

>>37411058
Just chomping down on them and keeping them in my mouth for a bit to let some it absorb faster. I happen to like the taste.

>>37411107
Thanks for the concern. I should be alright. I'm pretty used to the psychedelic headspace. However, this amount is uncharted territory for me.

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I have secluded so much, but I was never happy with the people I was with anyway. They're nice and they worry about me but they still don't make the effort to check up on me. My problem is I've never felt like someone has been on the same wavelength as me. I've still never met anyone who has said they even like the same music as I do. I want a meaningful connection with someone, and I don't feel like I've had that yet in my life.

It's probably almost impossible to find that but don't get me wrong I'm not asking for advice. I'm just wondering if how I feel is normal or if this might even be a symptom of a mental illness.

>>37411089
Then let him attack unanswered.

It's a good exercise in self restraint, which a lot of us obviously need. A lot of us are likely here because we don't have enough inhibition.

Even if somebody here sees him, gets mad, and leaves; that's still building healthy behavior. Removing yourself from the source of your distress is a valid coping mechanism if necessary. And it puts a person in a mindset of weighing the pros and cons of situations of their mental state. Such as:

Pro: this is a relatively supportive atmosphere full of like minded people who are easier to be comfortable around

Con: it's almost completely unmoderated, unstructured, and prone to anti-social behavior.

>>37411171
That was how i felt before i met my best friend. WHile we aren't exactly alike, we get along great and share our good taste. Don't worry, it will come to you.

>>37411171
Personality disorder is a possibility, but can't say anything based on that little. Mental illness - no.

>>37411187
Yeah I completely agree with this. This is 4chan, everyone here should know better than to feed the troll.

Pareidolia and visual noise/colors already present. Nausea for the first time. Tachycardia which could also be from caffeine.

Ok I wanna die.

Too autistic to fix
Too old to turn it around anyway

>>37411240
I think I'm getting better with it. I have a friend who is willing to have nice personal conversations but apart from that not a lot else we share in common.

>>37411299
I think I have a personality disorder, it's not normal to have needs like this. Plenty of people are perfectly happy to have friends they just joke around with. Not many people want a meaningful relationship whether it be a friend or partner

>>37411310
I get visual noise and sometimes I hear music in fan noise

>>37404224
>Free edition.
Wut?

>>37411171
It takes decades to find that special someone. I think it's normal, you want a meaningful connection and aren't satisfied with the more casual approach to relationships people around you have. It could be just a preference you have for deeper relationships.

Is there a way you could still socialize casually without feeling as dissatisfied with it? Maybe socializing around a common hobby and just enjoying that meaningful aspect of the relationship?

>>37411310
Bit worried about you there buddy.

>>37411187
If his attacks go unanswered then he'll either get bored and leave or grow more and more viscious attacking people, and I see watching over those near me more impaired or weaker than I am as my responsibility. I don't like bullying, had enough of that during school. Almost got in a fight in high school over some barely five foot kid getting bullied. Apparently I was intimidating enough because they backed off.
>inb4 back to your safe space

Alright guys, heading to bed. Have a good time.

>>37411543
See you around Moe.

>>37411515
Nothing to worry about. I'm feeling very good. I'm not going to attempt to describe all the mundane aspects of bodily sensations or even the visuals unless they're particularly interesting. I'll be focusing on emotional and cognitive alterations.

>>37411624
I find the persistent effects on my spatial awareness interesting and difficult to accurately articulate.

>>37411491
I could do but I basically have no friends now. I have no idea how to meet people.

>>37411521
I understand where you're coming from. But we're all our own responsibility dude. That's part of the problem with his mindset, and maybe why you're clashing.

Anyways, I just hope you don't mislabel some well-due reality checks. Because the beauty of this unmoderated area means that people like him can be as frank as they want. And we get to decide how we react to it. So in a way, we're already in that safe space.

Obviously what he was doing is just mean spirited. But sometimes we pattern our behaviors in ways that help us avoid being challenged. Abrasiveness can break that pattern sometimes. The threat that aggressive language represents in our minds, sometimes means the message carries louder, stays longer, and makes us reconsider.

>>37411737
Honestly, I don't think there's going to be all that much to report. It probably won't be a very intense experience.

>>37411737
Try recording some keywords that might be close. That way you have a quick, noncommital way to record it that shouldn't be too impaired by your state of mind. You can worry about articulation later.

And please stay safe.

>>37411791
Well I'm crossing my fingers for you that it is

>>37411791
I feel a bit of ego softening (from which I predict there will be a commensurate rebound) and a receptiveness to new ideas and viewpoints.

>>37411776
Though I guess I'm understating how much difficult it is not to react, for some people here. And that it's why they're here.

>>37411817
It's a difference that I can't pin down. When I suggest to myself possible elements of the specific spatial perception that seems changed, none of them seem right. It's just ineffable.

>>37411753
What are your interests/hobbies? Going to places where there are other people who enjoy what you do as well could be an easy conversation starter.
>>37411776
I know I know. I just like these people here and don't like seeing them hurting.
>Anyways, I just hope you don't mislabel some well-due reality checks.
Like what?
>The threat that aggressive language represents in our minds, sometimes means the message carries louder, stays longer, and makes us reconsider.
Can't argue against that.
>>37411916
Someone insults me, fine whatever. Odds are I've called myself worse, and meant it a hell of a lot more too. But don't go after those I care for.

The visuals are fairly strong at this point. I feel a bit emotionally blunted. It's as though I'm effortlessly maintaining a level of mindfulness that would ordinarily require a long stretch of focused meditation. The number of thoughts per minute have decreased dramatically. I was feeling a little bit alien before, but now much less.