>"Kiss me, white boy! I ain't gonna let you leave

Jump out a window or bludgeon myself, whichever can be done faster

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I'm not going to lie to you, lads. I would happily mount this she-boon, just for the novelty of it.

>>37400372
I'm not going to lie to you, lad. I think our species would be better off if you were crushed by said dire gorilla

>>37400405
>Implying that you don't secretly want she-boon ass pressed against your face.

>>37400433
Please stop (((projecting))) my kissless friend

>>37400282
I'm going to go pour all your grape drink down the sink and sneeze on all your chicken.

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>>37400456
>"Hey, anon. My fiancee doesn't eat my ass out anymore. Could you help me out?"
Well, anon? Are you going to refuse your black mistress?

>>37400547
And you're a weenie butt

Kek and mate

>>37400372
I'd do the same. Why the fuck not? I'd love her to ride me to death. Sounds erotic.

Leave and let her stand there

>>37400589
>Black
>Mistress
I would rather torch an orphanage with me in it tbqh famicom

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>>37400282
Ask her to sit on my face

Paprika

>>37400282
Pull my gun out. I literally only carry it for her people might as well use it.

Important question: is it possible to have sex with a fatty with an average sized dick? I am too autistic to attract a healthy-bodied girl.

>>37400282
I' ll think anout it if you teach me voodoo

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>>37400610
Original cotton headed ninny muggins

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>>37400638
Is that a euphemism for your cock?

>>37400638
>piss off some drunk white dude at a bar
>he calls his buddies and they confront you outside the bar, with baseball bats
>you're carrying concealed
>praise kek brothers
>you get your head broke

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get a running start, then drop kick her into the door

>>37400711
You are human sludge, tripfag

>>37400689
>You will never have the ass of a negro pressed against your face
Is there any reason to continue?

>>37400689
Its a euphemism for my literally gun.
You NEVER fuck black people, don't even physically touch them, they have a 50% herpes infection rate among other things.
Even those that didn't fuck will have a chance at getting it from their fucking parents in one way or another.
Seriously, go flip a coin, was it heads? You're fucked.

>>37400711
But can you dropkick at head height then land on your feet, spiral dropkick or missile dropkick into a moonsault? If not, you'd better get out of my face.

>>37400733
That's literally my only reason to continue

>>37400709
That presumes I didn't just pull it out the second i saw the bats. You NEVER try and defuse that situation vocally they're out for blood and you trying to be non-violent invites violence. You pull out your gun, make sure they see it, and if they remain violent you fire. God i love this state.

>>37400282
I do it. Any pussy is pussy. And she's fat and kinda ugly. Just like me. Who would I be to judge her for that.

>>37400737
i can dropkick at head height and then do 3 spinning backflips before landing on my erect penis

>>37400762
Wew ok I can't top that

>>37400756
why are you telling me this? you're the one who only carries a gun to use on black peoples

>>37400788
Don't be racist i carry it for people who think they can physically block my way until they can steal what they want from me.

>>37400826
>Pull my gun out. I literally only carry it for her people might as well use it.
what did you mean by
>her people
then?

>>37400853
Criminals. She's literally holding me hostage.

>>37400853
Filthy money stealing porch monkeys, what else baka?

>>37400650
Sure, you just gotta know your positions really. Eating out goes a long way too.

>>37401254
Eating out's what got you in this mess, fatty

>>37400282
Could be worse, just kiss her and keep going. It will probably be her first, and she'll be too flustered or happy to pose any resistence to your way once you do it. It might not be the best thing in the world but it really could be worse, somebody's lips usually aren't that disgusting and it's better than having sex with her.

>>37400282
i actually met up with a psycho black chick recently, and it was fucking weird. We met on a dating site, she looked OK in the pics; but then when we hang out she's easily 280, has a massive nigger nose, has a kid who she actively neglects, and when I showed up to her place she was a drunk mess and tried to fuck me.

She also smelt gross and kept coughing and using an inhaler. Meanwhile she's trying to tell me "i'm getting my life together! I have this creepy abusive ex boyfriend who keeps stalking me; but I'm getting my life together!"

We hung out for, maybe, an hour. If that.

>>37401371
But did you kiss her before you left?

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>>37400282
>run up to her and puncture her eyes with my two fingers with all my might
>slam her to the ground
>run out the door
Nothing personal kid heheheh

>>37400282
>fedora covers my gaze
>unseath my katana
>in doing so, a half eaten bag of cheetos falls out of my trenchcoat pocket
>close my eyes
forgive me sensei, I must go all out. just this once

>>37401986
of course not, wtf?

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>>37402705
Poor, poor girl.

She thought you'd treat her right

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>>37400282
move over tubby, let me kiss my actual black girlfriend

>>37402875
Is that really you're gf anon she's THICC hnnnngggghhh

>>37400282
i beat her

Is she the new nubian queen of /r9k/?

>>37400282
I'm not white, I'm a pale pink.

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>>37403664
Does it seem that way to you?