why are men so bad at apologizing? they barely ever do it when

>>37388289
women don't forgive men who apologize to them. they retain the grudge while also recognizing that man as weak and submissive.

>>37388362
no I don't, I have never not forgiven any man who apologized to me unless he did something really bad like cheated on me or something, something I would never accept an apology for

and if anything I would view him as stronger for being able to admit when he's fucked up and apologize for it. i have no idea where you are getting your ideas of what women are like, but you are very much wrong.

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>>37388289
>why are men so bad at apologizing?

As a guy, I need to really think about the proper applications and rationalizations for saying sorry.

It's not about saying 2 words, it's about making things right.

>person isn't psychically cognizant of exact mental trouble of other person
>other person gets angry when mental troubles aren't magically discerned and ameliorated
>grumpiness magnifies when apologetic behavior for telepathic failures isn't forthcoming

it is time for me to leave this existence

Men only apologize when they actually feel sorry.

>>37388398
making things right means apologizing

as a woman I literally say "I'm sorry" to people every day, often even if I haven't even done anything wrong at all

it's just polite and people appreciate good manners and return the favor with being nice back

>>37388416
so do they not feel sorry as often as women then or something? what's the deal here? why is it so difficult for men to just say "I'm sorry"?

>>37388289
Apologizing is a sign of weakness, which is a big no-no for men in our culture.
You can't be emotional.

>>37388439
we don't lie and we don't put facades

When a guy says "I'm sorry" you know he means it.

We save those two words for when they matter the most. That way when we say it, you know you can trust it.

>>37388439
Well I can't speak for other men. But when I do something, I usually have weighed my options and chose the most rational option.

So why should I say sorry for doing the right thing? It would just be empty words with no meaning.

Obviously, women are different. You even admitted it in that post. Your "sorry" has no meaning, no weight. You say sorry even if you weren't wrong. It's like the boy who cried wolf.

Only say sorry when you've actually done something wrong.

>>37388454
I wish men would stop, it's really annoying

I don't even want to talk to or hang around men anymore because they just bottle all their emotions up inside and don't give a shit about anyone and just shit all over them and then don't even apologize for it. I can't even be friends with men anymore because of this. I wish men would just get it together already and stop giving a shit about "seeming weak" and just let themselves have emotions and care about people and admit when they're wrong and apologize. This world would be a much better place for it.

>>37388480
>When a guy says "I'm sorry" you know he means it.
That is bullshit, the only times men have actually said sorry to me is when they didn't mean it.
>sorry this isn't working out
>sorry but I don't want to be friends with you anymore
>sorry I cheated on you with someone else

>>37388289
i rarely say sorry, but when i do; i really mean it.

>>37388496
"Crying wolf" about saying sorry isn't crying wolf, it's just being polite though. Literally no harm can come from over apologizing. Are you really telling me right now that you shouldn't apologize too much because it's the same as telling people that you're falsely being attacked? That is the stupidest thing I've ever read. That is like saying you shouldn't compliment people too much because after awhile they will stop believing you, but everyone knows that is bullshit, the only people who don't like being complimented only don't like it because they hate themselves and it just reminds them of it.

>>37388502
It's pretty hard to stop bottling your emptions when other men but especialy women judge you for not doing it.

>>37388439
>as a woman I literally say "I'm sorry" to people every day, often even if I haven't even done anything wrong at all
That sounds like lying. It also sounds like you know it's a lie if other people do it. If you know I'm lying, it's pointless for me to lie. Besides, lying is in itself not polite so that defeats the purpose of a superfluous "sorry" anyway.
But I understand women don't care about truth as much as I do.

>told I "apologize too much"
>ex had a past of sexual abuse
>would make her uncomfortable sometimes or feel bad
>in response would apologize a ton and be as gentle with everything as possible
>left me for being "too weak"
I know it's not the case with every woman, but most women I've met have seen me as weak or beta for being very open on apologizing and being overly polite/nice to them. It's how I was raised so it's not something I'll break out of, but whether or not it's a trait I enjoy having I'm not entirely sure yet.

>>37388545
>especially women
NO!

Get this through your thick fucking skull
WOMEN
DO NOT CARE
IF YOU HAVE EMOTIONS
IN FACT WE LIKE IT
OKAY???

The only women who care about are women who hate you and are using it against you because you did something to them or they're just a bitch. Literally only men care about when other men show emotions, even though they'd like to be able to show emotions more themselves. It makes zero fucking sense, it is like you have created this stupid fucking societal standard that you all have to adhere to even though fucking none of you want to but no one will ever just step up and be like "fuck it I don't care anymore".

And I know that plenty of you here also hate women and don't give a shit about them, so why do you even care what they think about you having emotions? Just fucking have them who gives a shit

>>37388542
You are so naive about what life as a man is like. I don't even know where to begin.

Just accept men the way they are, even if you don't understand it.

>>37388594
She honestly probably left you because people who have been abused often get really confused in relationships where they are not being abused. It's really fucked up, I know, but it's probably better that she did because it sounded like she was not ready at all for a relationship and needs to work through her abuse first. It's how people often end up in cycles of abuse, it is super common especially if the abuse was their first relationship experience.

>>37388601
Yeah being in tune with you emotions isnt unmanly for any reason except preconceived notion of stoicism.

I apologise for little shit all the time.

>>37388619
If that's the case then I will just accept that men are fucking retarded when it comes to emotions and manners and not worth my time then, friend or otherwise

Tell me, why would I go after someone who doesn't even care about my feelings, and worst of all, even if they do hurt me, even if just by accident, they don't even have the balls to apologize to me? Why would I go for someone like that when I could be with a woman who gives a shit how I feel, comforts me, and if she ever fucks up apologizes and makes it up to me?

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>women think 2 words undoes everything

I say sorry constantly, because I'm so insecure I perceive any disagreement or awkwardness to what I say as meaning I offended the person

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>>37388601
Not him, but I got a gf only when I stopped showing weakness. What women like is seeing a sliver of "true personality" through a thick shell of badass, and I had to create that shell first.
I'm lucky because my gf is somewhat dominant and nurturing, so she welcomed my "real" emotions when I started opening up, but all of this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't learned to pretend to be a tough guy first.

>>37388640
Oh I'm completely aware that it's probably the case. I was just using as an example since it's a time where a woman had specificly not wanted to be with me after knowing me for seeming weak. I suppose it's not the best for what I was trying to say but I hope my idea still got across anyway.

>>37388667
You now understand MGTOW. Congratulations.

Why are women such two faced whores?

>>37388601
It's unfortunate how completely wrong you are.

>>37388667
It's not that they don't care, it's far more simple. Apologizing doesn't get his cum out of that whore's cunt. It doesn't make you feel good, no matter how much you say otherwise, because the error still happened. It's all useless. And you're asking the man to brainwash you with a sorry, knowing you're just getting placebos.
Maybe your men don't verbalize it but these things can alienate you a lot.

So just out of curiosity. What is the event that led to you making this thread?

op I'm sorry
please be my gf

>>37388696
I used to be like that them I got a job it's amazing how quick you learn to truly. Or care what people think

I don't apologize unless I actually mean it. I know women are different than men but I'm not going to lie like that just for the sake of feelers. I can tell them what resulted was not my intention, I can tell them they are wrong, or I can tell them why I did what I did. Unless I actually feel bad about what I did that's the best I can give.

>>37388398
This pretty much sums it up. Two words don't mean shit. If someone kills my dog or shits in my bed an apology would only make me more pissed off. I want things fixed. An explanation might help, but saying sorry doesn't do shit.

I never apologize I'm sorry but that's just the way I am

>>37388289
i have trouble apologizing because i have autism. i still manage to do it occasionally.

If its something I've done wrong I'll apologize and try to make it right.

>>37388502
We just don't get the same satisfaction form emotions like you do. We're more mature that that. It was fun in high school and all but I'm about to turn 30 next year. I don't have time for this emotional rollercoaster bullshit. There is no other way about it. If a man apologizes excessively he's a little bitch who cares more about what others think that what he thinks is right, or worse, he is incapable of determining right from wrong. I feel emotions just fine, I just don't feel the one's women want me to feel. Do you expect me to apologize for that?

>>37388601
>NO!
it's "No!" you newfag

>>37388289
Go fuck yourself
3 words

>>37388892
>one's

>>37388949
To be fair those 3 words are fun to say to idiots online.

>>37388289
Why can't women understand that apologising when you don't mean it is stupid, weak and cheapens the important process of repentance when you actually do something wrong?

If we don't see eye to eye on something and that gets your precious feelings bent out of shape I simply don't give a shit and will not be apologising.

>>37389006
Whoops! Mea culpa, still not sorry though.

I'm not going to apologise if I don't think I did anything wrong. Why would I?
If I actually did something wrong, I'd probably try to take action to fix it, or at least let you know whatever plan I had, before apologizing.
Meaningless apologies are disrespectful. I don't like to receive them and I will not give them.

>>37388542
but why apologize if you've done nothing wrong, though? If you have a job in customer service or something, then alright, but what you're saying makes no sense. No one likes a person who is overly apologetic all the time, not even women. I've heard many women talking about guys in particular who are overly apologetic and basically a doormat, saying they should grow a spine, be more confident, stand up for themselves, etc.

>That is like saying you shouldn't compliment people too much
well, you shouldn't; constantly complimenting someone for every little thing is a turnoff and gets annoying after a while. Their words become less sincere and you put less stock into what they say; they become a 'yes man', agreeing with everything.

>>37388667
>when I could be with a woman
go for it. At least your genes will go nowhere.

>>37388289
it's a sign of weakness, fuck off buttercup

>>37388289
I would rather nip the problem in the bud and take action. Apologizing is optional and saying it insincerely cheapens the notion. It's like someone who constantly says "thank you", even if they mean well it becomes repetitive and annoying to deal with. Furthermore it's asinine to assume all men are unapologetic.

>>37388289
I have no problem apologizing if I did something to hurt my gf. If I was being an idiot in some way, I'll man up and apologize and move forward. The problem is women expect you to apologize for every little thing, even if it isn't your fault; even if its her fault, she still expects you to apologize. Are women's egos that inflated that they can't even be accountable for their own actions and mistakes?

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Saying sorry all the time, except for big things, show you lack conviction and confidence, that you need other people's permission, that you're not in control of your life. You, and a lot of women seem to think that men don't feel emotions or block them out or are out of time with their emotions but I need you to understand it's just different for us. First of all, exposing something so near and dear to our hearts exposes weaknesses, and while a woman may have a wide support system men cannot afford to expose weakness, we will me taken advantage of. It's not comfortable for someone to know so much about you.
>>37388601
We definitely have emotions, but what would letting them out except privately do? What would be gained from this except let people know you're not 100% in control? And when you ask why men stick to certain societal standards of manhood... every generation has had the same standards, who would want to be the one who couldn't to it? Why would you want to fail at what all the men who came before you could do?
"We do it not because it is easy,but because it is hard."
There is satisfaction in doing hard things
And you say that women don't care... but as a man you learn that women say they want and believe one thing, usually the most logical sounding thing. But women are influenced by subconscious thoughts they aren't usually aware of.
All humans are. Men ad women simply think differently.

>>37388289
Women hate weakness/vulnerability from men in general.

Notice how in relationships the woman is the one that usually bails first when the guy says he's depressed? But a guy will tolerate a woman's various mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, BPD, and so on with no complaints.

>>37388667
>a woman who gives a shit how I feel

How naive you are judging by the lesbot stories I've read here in /r9k/ over the years.

>>37388601
Men who show emotions outside of specific instances are called pussies, even by women. Don't assume all women think the way you are now, or all people for that matter.

>>37388667
>If that's the case then I will just accept that men are fucking retarded when it comes to emotions and manners and not worth my time then, friend or otherwise

On behalf of men everywhere, thank you. You don't seem capable of understanding us and some poor guy just dodged a bullet.

>>37389520
>have emotions
What the fuck does that even mean? I can be happy without dropping my pants and shitting in the street or feel sad without screaming and jumping off a bridge. I like to think of it as men are continent while women can't handle emotions so they freak the fuck out from confusing feelings they experience. What's the point of silly little rituals to let others know you are emoting anyway? That's what emoticons are for :^)

>>37388289
>someone you care about tells you that you've hurt/are hurting them
Men usually apologise if they believe they have done something wrong, not simply because somebody got hurt. For example, if you ask me if those pants make you look fat, I reply yes they do, and you become upset, I will not apologise. You asked me what I thought, and I answered honestly. That you were hurt by my honest reply is your problem - if you didn't want to know, you shouldn't have asked.

I think most men are wise to the very feminine tactic of manipulation through guilt. When a woman isn't getting things her way, it's not uncommon for her to attempt to frame this as an act of wrongdoing on somebody else's (often a man's) behalf. But when you analyse the situation it becomes apparent her position amounts to no more than "I am upset and the only way to placate me is to do what I want", like a child throwing a tantrum because its parent won't buy it candy.

And like other anons have said: if you apologise, it's not uncommon for the woman to hold a grudge or think less of you. And honestly, she probably wouldn't accept the apology anyway, just take it as an admission of guilt, and then begin dictating the terms of your "surrender" (eg. you can't play that game anymore, you can't see that friend anymore, I want you to drink less, I want you to spend one night per week with me and my boring friends). It's completely different with another man. If he accepts your sincerely apology, that's generally understood to be the end of the matter. Things go back to how they were before, you don't recriminate, and you probably never bring it up again.

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I've never had a woman apologize to me for anything, ever.
Fuck you.

>>37388289
>why can't you just say sorry when someone you care about tells you that you've hurt/are hurting them?
Why would I hurt somebody I care about in the first place? Can you give me a example of what you mean by this?

>>37388840
I have autism but I apologize all the time, but I am also a woman

>>37391157
You can't avoid hurting people you care about, sometimes you do it without meaning to, and you have to apologize.

But men won't apologize because they think it's pointless because they didn't mean any harm so therefore they didn't do anything wrong, who cares they made someone they love cry

>>37392378
>have to
That's where you're wrong.

>>37392518
If you're not willing to apologize for making someone cry, even if you didn't mean to, then you're just straight up an asshole and I hope you can accept that people are going to feel that way about you

>>37388289
If we apologize too much women think we're weak.

>>37392556
That's fine, if someone starts crying for no good reason then there's no good reason for me to apologize. I'd expect the same from anybody else if I unloaded my emotions on someone for personal reasons.

>>37392606
People don't just start crying for no good reason, they would have to be some kind of seriously sadistic sociopath to just start crying for no reason

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>>37388392
>betas actually believe this bullshit

>>37388289
I say sorry to everyone, regardless of what happened. I'm also a huge beta tho.

>>37388289
I did my very best to admit whenever I did wrong, even if I didn't think I DID anything wrong. And I really was apologetic, but it didn't change the fact that she just couldn't see me ever truly changing into a better person. I've begged and pleaded, I've told her outright that I'm nothing without her, but she didn't change her mind.

She's never reached out to me after she broke up with me, but if she ever asked me to talk to her again I'd say yes in a heartbeat.

Regardless I recognize that I'm one of the many useless assholes that seem to be common among men, and I'll kill myself in a few months to do my part in removing the world of filth.

>>37392706
There's plenty of those hanging about these days, but generally the more sane people that go nuts end up discussing their problems and I do handle those as diplomatically as possible. I have never made someone cry (or do much of anything really), so my case is sort of special. I keep to myself. The only person I know that became irrational towards me in my lifespan was a tranny throwing a fit on my bus about "misgendering them".

If I break a dish, I'll apologize because that's my fault. If I make a person cry by #triggering them or whatever, I'm not going to apologize if it's an unreasonable expectation. If someone starts yelling at me about my mistakes, I generally end up withdrawing in panic since I'm not used to people yelling at me. Then they rage at me about not apologizing, which is fairly unreasonable.

So it's not really "not apologizing", it's just I forget if it's an actual moment because very few people exhibit that irrational apology-demanding behavior such as what has been demonstrated throughout the thread. It's fairly autistic to demand apologies from other people because then they become insincere and meaningless.