Teach me some jokes please. I only know one >son says to

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>>37345547
>A southern white man goes to New York for vacation
>He sees a flyer for a 100 Man Choir
>He decides to but a ticket and go but when the curtain reveals the choir he was shocked that every single one of them was black
>The white southern gets angry and screams at the ticket guy for a refund
>"Why do you want a refund? You got what you paid for!" the ticket guy says
>The Southern responds "I paid to see 100 men on that stage, I only see 60!"

your life xddddd

Jokes don't exist

>>37346194

That would have been a pretty high IQ joke, if you left out the line about them being black.

>>37345547
>What's the difference between a gay man and a fridge?
>A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.

I'm sorry.

>>37346194
XDD

cuz history fraction negro papaers

What do you call a Stacy at church?

a Sunday roastie

>>37345547
1/2

So there was this guy who runs a small hotel in a small town out in the country. One day a tiny little man dressed in green walks into the hotel and asks for a room. The guy gives him his room key, and after a few hours the little man comes back to the front desk.

He says, "Excuse me. Could you by any chance provide me with a banana and a twelve-inch piece of string?"

The guy says, "Uh, I think so", and goes and finds a banana and string for the little fellow.

When the hotel owner goes to tidy the little man's room the next day, he finds it a complete mess. The man's suitcases are all emptied and clothes are scattered everywhere, and the shower curtain looks like it's been pulled off the rings. The hotel owner doesn't know what's going on, but he cleans a little bit.

That night the little man comes back to the front desk. He says, "Excuse me. Tonight, can you provide me with half a banana, and a six-inch string?" The guy says "Alright" and finds him half a banana and a six-inch string.

That night as the hotel owner is reading the paper, he hears a loud boom coming from upstairs. He runs up, opens the door, and finds his room has been trashed, with furniture knocked over and broken, pipes leaking, and the window busted.

The guy says, "What the hell are you doing in my hotel room?" To which the little man responds, "I can't tell you that, please, just let me stay here one more night, I'll pay for everything." The hotel owner reluctantly agrees to let him stay one more night.

The next evening, like clockwork, the little man comes back downstairs. He says, "Sir, may I please have one fourth of a banana, and a three-inch piece of string?"

"What are you gonna do with it?" the hotel owner asks.

"Please don't ask that," the man says, "just please, give them to me." The hotel owner says "Fine", and gives him one fourth of a banana and a three-inch piece of string.

>>37346323
2/2

Later that night, while the man is taking out his trash, he hears a massive explosion. He turns around to see his hotel completely obliterated. There's nothing left but a smouldering crater, with a tiny little man dressed in green standing in it.

"Listen you, son of bitch, you destroyed my hotel!"

"Please sir, you don't understand..."

"What don't I understand? What the hell have you been doing?"

"Alright, alright, I'll tell you but you have to promise never to tell anyone what I've been doing."

The hotel owner is absolutely exasperated, he says "Fine, fine, I won't tell anyone what you've been doing".

And he never did.

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>shooting contest!
>shoot the apple on top of the man's head and you win
>the american steps up
>appleshot!
>buffing his chest, he says "i am rambo!"
>the english steps up
>arrow splits the apple in two
>tipping his fedora, he says "i am robin hood!"
>the indonesian steps up
>throws a spear (sharpened bamboo)
>straight through the man's fucking neck!
>"i am sorry"

>>37345547
A little boy and a clown are walking into the woods.

The little boy says, "Hey, mister, it's dark, and I'm getting scared."

The clown says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

>>37345547
>what was the first Roman homosexuals name
>Constaninanus

>>37346235
Thanks, I knew that joke was missing something.

>a swede, a turk and an american is taking a train ride together
>the turk was eating a kebab and the american was eating a burger
>when the the american was halfway done he threw his hamburger out the window
>"why did you do that?" said the swede
>"it's not a big deal, there are enough burgers where I come from anyway" said the american
>after a while the turk did the same thing as the american, he threw his half eaten kebab out the window
>the swede said yet again "why did you do that?
>"where I come from there are plenty of kebabs, it doesn't matter if I throw away half a kebab"
>then the swede threw the turk out the window

you get it? becuase there are so many sandniggers in sweden and the swede used the same argument as the others hehehe
i wanna die

What's the difference between a dead nigger and a dead racoon?
The racoon has tire tracks infront of it

>knock, knock
>who's there
>it's the police mam your son has been killed by a hit an run driver, the driver was an alcohol

>>37346460
>>37346641
>>37346680
>>37346702

Don't you like my jokes OP?

One day 3 men went to the doctor together. They were all told they only had 3 weeks to live. They went home and were all depressed and stuff. Then one of them looked at his arms, while trying to think of something to give his life meaning 'I have very long arms' He said. 'I might even have the longest arms in the world' So he contacted the Guinness world book of records and showed them his arms. The next man looks down and saw that he had very long legs. So he contacted the Guinness book of world records. The last man looked down and saw that he had a really tiny dick. 'I might have the smallest penis in the world' he said. So he contacted the Guinness book of world records. 2 weeks and 5 days passed. They all went to the bookstore to check the new book of records. The first man checked, and he did have the longest arms in the world. He could die happy. The second man checked, he had the longest LEGS in the world. He could die happy. The last man went to check..
'Who the fuck is OP?'

>>37345547
A young man walked into a doctors office and presented him with a strange illness.

>Doctor, whenever I fart, it sounds like 'Honda'
he says.

The doctor asks the man to fart, and sure enough, it sounds like 'Honda'.

>How strange! We must get to the bottom of this.

The doctor immediately contacts the best proctologist, dietician, gastroenterologist, even urologist he has the means to. They subject the man to a vast battery of tests. Xrays, scans, physical exams.
These all turn up nothing. No cause can be identified for the farts sounding like 'Honda'.

It's not until in desperation that they turn to a dentist that a discovery is made.
>Ah ha! You have an abscess!
Exclaims the doctor with enthusiasm bordering on maniacal.
>I don't understand, how are my teeth doing this?
>Don't you see man?
Abscess makes the fart go Honda

>>37346760
I don't get itwhat does Honda mean in dentist world