>talking with colleagues >conversation turns to sex

>>37319712
>don't have to worry because I'm not a loser virgin

>he has colleagues

normies get OUT! OUT!

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>c'mon anon, your bed is huge, i would be having sex on this shit all the time

>>37319754
You're still the equivalent of kid with a candy bar laughing at 12 pound africans

>>37319775
Lol neet filth

>41 year old female co worker constantly talks about partying and drinking and about her kids that are my age
>she always acts like I can relate to her despite the fact that I don't drink, don't party, and don't have friends

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>>37319712
>they start using normal sexual slang that I'm not familiar with

>>37319775
Dude stfu, lol. Are you somekind of a weird loser

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>>37319902
>weird loser

shit normies say 101. gtfo

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>>37319712
If someone ever asks directly, "have you ever had sex?" I'd answer "probably." If they persist, I'd hit em with, "Are you trying to fuck?"

>If they answer no, "Then I don't want to talk to you about it."
>If yes, judge them. "I'm not really interested." or some sort of escalation, "Give me your number/we're going on a date/give me your hand."

If they're not having sex with you, don't talk to them about sex. Just deflect! Would you want to discuss sex with these people even if you were having it?

If you're silent and they ask why you're silent, say, "I don't kiss and tell."

>>37320123
They'll be convinced you're a virgin if you're like this.

If someone asks if you've ever had sex, say yeah of course. Or if you're not confident with lying to their faces, say "no I'm a huge virgin, in fact I've never even kissed, w-wanna be my first" so they think you're fucking with them.

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Tfw normie girl asks you what you usually do during sex

>>37320123
There are a few things I don't talk about, in fact.

>Work stories
>Gossip, any talk about someone who isn't listening
>Using conversation to escalate my social worth

If that's the subject, I'll usually just be quiet.

>>37320160
Who cares what they're convinced of? I'll give you that, I'd avoid deadpan telling them you're a virgin (from experience). Self deprecating humor is supplication though. You're giving up any value you had in the conversation. Deflection is a perfectly valid way of avoiding sensitive topics. Imagine if they were asking you about what kind of hentai you masturbate to? Even if they did it with legitimate interest, would you WANT to discuss that with them? There's a major difference between "I think anon's a virgin," and "anon told me that he's a virgin"

>>37320266
You're not deflecting by saying "probably", you're straight up admitting you're a virgin and insecure about it on top of that.

Just lie, don't be retarded.

>>37320177
>"I use my willy, of course."

Just say you prefer 2D in an ironic tone. If they don't appreciate the joke then they're just a bunch of boring normans, move on

>>37320123
I love how the photo just has her meatflaps hanging out like that. It doesn't suit the style of photography at all, like the photographer was accidently a few inches to the right before taking the shot

>>37320322
Lying is fine too. Unless they ask you to elaborate. Asking whether or not you've had sex is a direct question about your worth. They're not interested in hearing about how much you enjoy the warmth of another person. They don't want to know whether you cuddled with your partner afterward. They don't want to know about how you struggle with the idea of monogamy. They are scanning you to assess your worth. I don't like to humor them. I don't like to play into that game.

>Questions like these make me wish I were a gay furry
>Would you be jealous if I said yes?
>I don't kiss and tell
>Probably
>I don't remember
>It depends
>Not with someone like you

>>37320378
Thanks anon. Hopefully I'll get the chance to use that later down the track

I can't imagine ever wanting to discuss it even if I had sex.

>>37320448
If you say probably, you should do a couple steps of banter before you hit them with the "are you trying to fuck?" They may just drop it instead of prying.

>Have you ever had sex?
>Probably
>What does probably mean
>I'm X years old, that's a long time to go without sex
>So have you had sex before?
>Probably. I went to public school.
>Just tell me, anon!
>Are you trying to fuck?
>No
>Then I don't really want to discuss it with you

>>37320448
>Unless they ask you to elaborate
I used to have these kind of fantasies too in which people prosecute me for saying I've had sex, but when you're not as disconnected from reality as you are now you'll realize people don't give a shit. If anyone asks if you've ever had sex (which is unlikely) it goes like this
>have you ever had sex
>yeah a few times
>ok [changes topic]

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>>37319712
>talking with colleagues
>one of them says "I really like anime, Death Note is so good."
>the rest agree

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>>37320537
>Connected to reality
>On /r9k/

I think it's time for you to leave.

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>Think "Oh, I'll just tell them I'm a virgin. It's not that big of a deal"
>Get relentlessly teased until I eventually quit the job

Never trust normalfags. They're like packs of wild dogs looking for a weak animal

>conversations turn to sex
>coworkers pick up on how defensive/nervous/shy/quiet I get
>went from "he probably gets laid occasionally" to "nope, virgin"

FUCK

>>37320537
I've been cross examined by work colleagues asking if I've tried anal amongst other things.

>>37320563
I'm not really I just had these same "what if someone asks me if I'm a virgin" thoughts until it happened. I just lied. No one batted an eye.

>>37320594
>have you had sex
>yea
>have you had anal
>no, you?
No need to come up with an elaborate plan for that.

Reminder that no matter how "progressive" society becomes, men are still judged by how many women they've laid.

More women laid = higher up on the social hierarchy.

Virgin = lowest rung of the social hierarchy.

>>37320595
How many times has that happened? Like >>37320594 I've been grilled on it before. It was by a slutty girl who got drunk and ran around with dick-shaped lollipops at a party, but it happened in front of friends. Having been ready to not answer would have been a really good idea.

What the fuck even is there to discuss?

>Hey Chad! I enjoy sex, how about you?
>>Yes Brad, I too enjoy the act of sex, just as the vast majority of other humans do!
>Haha, we all sure do enjoy sex!
>>I enjoy it even more when I find my partner very attractive!
>What a coincidence, I also enjoy sex with an attractive partner!

>>37320653
Look at the /r9k/ catalog. Take a good look at it and then reconsider.

>>37320637
Two. A dude asked once, I said yeah, didn't press further. A self-proclaimed virgin female, too. She pressed more but I didn't give her any details. Just acted like sex is the most normal thing in the world.

>>37320653
>anyone do [sex related thing]
>sex stories
>comes up in an unrelated story

Has any of you virgins tried just being a man and say, "I've never had sex before, I'm not interested in doing it before marriage"?
You don't back down, be strong and confident about it.
What kind of reaction do you think you would get?
Maybe you're not attractive enough to pull it off. I think it would be interesting to see how that would work.

>>37320702
I'm not saying lying is a bad idea. That doesn't mean my idea is retarded. That doesn't mean it couldn't work just as well. There are conversation topics I don't like to discuss. Sex is one of them. Is it because I'm a virgin? I hope not. I hope avoid the topic even if I were having sex with Anzu Jaamu, Angie Verona, Mia Malkova, and Xev Bellringer.

>>37320743
>What kind of reaction do you think you would get?
People would just think I'm a self deluded loser who can't get laid so he makes bullshit excuses, I think.

>>37320743
That's a good idea. What if you're trying to get laid though? Those people who think you're saving it until marriage won't help you if you go out somewhere. It's surrendering a bit of potential that could be saved by lying or deflecting.

no one cares if you're a virgin tbqh, even gets the huge sluts hitting on you

>>37320743
this guy here, >>37320770 is absolutely correct.

I'm not religious in any sense of the word, so my only """""excuse"""" is being an unattractive manlet.

>at work yesterday
>female coworker randomly asks if i have a girlfriend
>says that if i had a girlfriend maybe i wouldnt be so grumpy all the time and that if i had someone in my life i'd be happier
>says i should try online dating

i never even said anything, or that i was unhappy because i didnt have one. she just decided to sit there and psychoanalyze me because of it

>>37319864
urban dictionary is useful for learning the language of lower class plebs

>>37320830
I think Romania is a bit more complicated than DUDE DICK IN PUSSY LMAO

>>37319712
>failed normie friend found bf
>tells me fucking everything about their sex life
>including his orgasm dysfunctions or how her vagina is too small so it hurts or how all of her clothes are covered in cum so she doesn't know what to wear
>'anon you always watch porn, pitch me some ideas '
>'anon you can't be bi if you haven't tried sex with men and women'
>'I've been waiting so long' being with him since 22, knowing I'm a 25 khv

>>37320877

>Yeah, we we're hitting it off at a party, right?
>I fumbled with the keys to the hotel room
>I had to kick my roommate out
>I bought him rounds for the next 3 months
>She wasn't even drunk
>We were going slow and kissing and shit
>I came inside her
>I saw her birth control and she told me about it
>It was fucking mind blowing dude. I had such a big crush on her for months!

That was pure fiction, but come on, man. You're not much of a story teller.

>coworkers, friends, family, everyone thinks I'm some kind of a suave ladies man
>haven't actually had sexual interaction, or so much as a date in yearsa decade

Fake it till you make it end my life pls

>>37320177

>girl talking about girls almost having to pay guys to go down on them
>say I'd do it for free
>she has this approving shocked look on her face

I would though

>>37320653

>Anyone ever hit it from behind
>Everyone has a good or bad story about it
>Hey anon what about you, you haven't said anything

>>37320811
>i never even said anything, or that i was unhappy because i didnt have one

It's the vibe you give off. All of us here give it off. Be it an aura of low self esteem, bitterness or anger, everyone on /r9k/ is leaking something negative

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>>37321007
>suave ladies man
Do people lie on the internet?

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>friends actually think I'm asexual
>actually a deviant

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>friends and family think I'm a virgin
>I actually had sex with a fat chick at college but am too ashamed to admit it so I pretend I'm still a virgin

>>37321836
Read the post again dipshit

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>tfw 21 year old dateless Kissless virgin
>tfw was neighbors with a girl that was a few years older than me that used to baby sit me. (She's 26 now)
>Tfw our parents are still great friends and mine invite them to our beach house.
>tfw she is a textbook 8/10 stacy.
>tfw keeps asking about college, if I have a gf ect.
>"hehe anon how many girls have you hooked up with"
>"heh I don't know a-alot".
>"what do you do you do with them during sex?"
>I do them well.
>tfw should could tell how awkward I was and that i was lying.
>"hehe okayyy anon"


Mfw

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>>37319955
You couldn't be more /reddit/ if you tried.

>>37322433
If this isn't bait then she was fuckin into you lol. Grill was basically asking if you were taken/wanted to bang

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>have a single friend (I know normie reee)
>he's a massive normalfag
>khhv and he knows
>"dude you see her she's hot you like x she's fuckin hot"
>"you get laid yet?"
>"when are you gonna get laid?"
>other shit like this
I'm actually thinking about cutting him off because of this.

I wish I could just pretend to be a queer so people would leave me out of it.

>>37320743

So my lab partner for physics asked my if I am a virgin, I said Yep!
That was the end of our conversation, but hes a guy so it was gonna go no where anyways.
>and If a girl ever asks me that, I will respond >with "yeah, wanna help me with that problem?"

>>37321361
>being this beta
that's why you're a virgin, the fact their bfs don't go down on them should hint you to eating pussy being totally gay

I just tell a lie that's believeable. Yeah at 21.

Why would anyone lie they lost it at that age when all the normies lose it at 16 or 18

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>colleague at work
>CONSTANTLY talking about other women, sexual issues, etc
>whenever a woman walks by he comments on their ass/tits/whatever
>always says what he wants to do to them and how they make him feel
>guy is married with 2 kids

>meeting my only friends social circle
>told they're wild and crazy guys
>nervous
>second the doors close they're talking about how many hot chicks dressing up exist at cons
>haha, yeah...
>gets on the subject of virginity
>find out i was by far the youngest when i lost mine
>even the young couple haven't lost it
>buddy starts sperging about it and other unusual-tier instances
>everyones just asking how
>not a looker
>not the best conversationalist
>definitely a shut-in unless its a very special occasion
>don't even initiate it usually it just happens
>all con only ever get chicks asking me to tip my fedora at them for photos
>got 3 numbers from them
>got lost and fell in with a d.va and tracer combo
>ended up spending all day with them instead cause i never found buddies and phone died
>getting late decided i should just buy a room at the hotel
>wombo combo says i can just share theirs the hotels probably sold out already
>only wanted to go for maybe half a day and succubi have kept me here for 2 nights now
I don't get it. Someone tell me what i'm doing right so i can stop it.

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I got fucking harassed out of my last job due to being a virgin.

I worked at a shop selling magic kits and supplies (mostly like cards and capes and stuff). My 4 co-workers were all young 2 men 2 women.

One day the shop was empty and they were loudly discussing sex so I was forced to admit to them my virginity state. After that they bullied me RELENTLESSLY every fucking day. For example, they would make me leave work each day by throwing a smoke bomb in front of me, then they would announce 'in a puff of smoke vanishes the virgin bloke'. or they would do card tricks on me with naked girl cards and instread of saying 'is this your card' they would show the naked girl card and say 'is this last nights dream' or something. fucking normie cunts.

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>>37319712
I remember something similar from highschool

>bunch of normies talking about girls or some shit
>im at the edge of the group "participating" in the conversation
>someone says something "funny" and they laugh
>I pretend to laugh even though I wasn't actually listening
>the funny thing was actually a burn at this other dude
>he got offended that I laughed and turned to me and said "have you even had a girlfriend?"
>haha w-wha
>he keeps going on asking me if I've had a gf
>y-ye su-sfasfure *starts walking away while normies still talk to each other*

At least he seemed to be the only one listening, the rest of the normies were just talking to each other

>tfw 20 now and still no gf

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>>37323628
> 'in a puff of smoke vanishes the virgin bloke'.

>>37323569
Scum beyond scum. Call him out on it.

>>37323628
I'll give you 35K US for 80% share of this pasta and full user rights to
>"in a puff of smoke vanishes the virgin bloke"

>>37323628
Sorry anon but that's fucking hilarious. I would have got in on that joke too. I'm sorry your too pathetic to think of something personal you could tease them about but again that's why your a beta virgin. You hide and cry. Mommy why are they so mean to me!? Lol puff of smoke, rustled jimmies of virgin bloke. How's my take on it senpai no pussy?

>>37323628
>'in a puff of smoke vanishes the virgin bloke'
Jesus Christ in Heaven

>>37319712


>You are awfully quiet anon

>talking with colleagues
>I was the only guy there
>they start to talk openly about masturbation
>"I masturbate daily" one said
>the others also shared how often they masturbate

I-I don't get it, do they want to have sex with me or are just being open?

>>37324484


You are just not someone whos opinion matters. People do not hold back in front of a dog, do they?

>>37322433
Why do normies do this shit, they take the most boring answer as code for something else "haha gotcha bro keeping it on the DL" etc.. makes me think they're pitying me

>>37321402
I don't even know what the fuck I'd have to say about it even if I had done that.

>Yes, it was good.

What else is there to say?

>It felt good on my penis!
>What? Are you telling me that you also enjoy how sex makes your penis feel? How unexpected!
>Having your penis stimulated feels very good, am I right?
>It was nice because I could see her body, which I, as a heterosexual man attracted to the female body, found quite enjoyable!
>I can tell you guys like the female body too!
>Especially the secondary sexual characteristics, those are my favourite!
>Ejaculation is also a pleasurable feeling!
>I look forward to the next time I can have sex!

What the actual fuck is there to say?
How is an act of sex even remotely interesting for anybody except the two people doing it?

God I fucking hate normies.

>>37324484
They just don't see you as a sexual being.
It doesn't even occur to them that you will think or feel anything as a result of their conversation.

I usually don't say anything or skirt around it if I don't know them. But if I get closer to them I'll let them in on it.
I definitely wouldn't tell a female though

Its easy to pretend to not be a virgin, since normies cant conceive of some not having sex, assuming your good enough at passing for a normie to be interacting with someone who is not your mom on a regular basis.

>>37324566
>>37324691

Oh. Yeah, that makes sense...
well at least r9k is here for me... r-right?

>>37319712
>talking with colleagues
>they're all 50-70 year old and only talk about work

They probably do say things about me behind my back though.

>Been saving myself for marriage, or at least consent

>>37324679
>>37321402
It's more a bragging thing.
People want to convey how great they are, but most try to maintain some modesty whilst doing it.
>everyone has a story about it
This is an example of their fake modesty. They just want everyone to focus on them and their sexual exploits. If you're going to brag then just do it, this fake modesty thing pisses me off.

Although sex seems like a boring conversation it's probably exciting for them. The more positions they've done it in the more their ego is stroked. Sex, money; prestige, the trio of accomplishment in the mind of most people.

>>37319712
Kek I wonder what that would be like. I basically spend all day talking about sex with fembots but I don't know how it would work with normies.

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>>37319712
>not being master liar

i made many failproof stories
held them long enough, everyone accepted it as a fact
never have to worry about it anymore

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>>37319712
>Be talking to wooman
>topic of sexual relationships comes up.
>she finds out I am a virgin, I don't even hide it
and I swear I always hear the same words or some variation of them
>thats cute anon,I'm really surprised your still a virgin, you don't really like you would be one.

after that the illusion I portray of normality is always shattered, their perception of me always fundamentally changes, The strange thing is that they do not start treating me as a creep but rather like a little brother.

tfw you are stuck in a endless cycle of being brotherzoned.

>>37323527

Man what the fuck ever, it seems appealing so I would, fuck off with your bullshit.

>>37319712
>colleagues
I've never had those. But I hate when my coworkers bring it up. Always worked blue collar min-wage jobs and everyone is cooler than I.

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God I am so glad I am only ever around semi-normies because I study mathematics. Even they talk about sex too much and it seems even 90% of mathematics students get pussy, but it's way less intrusive when they do it and they never turn to you if you don't engage yourself.

I feel like I'm pretty normie and I've never had a conversation about sex with any of my friends. I think it's kind of trashy to talk about sex honestly.

>>37326247
I got news for you, buddy, you are a cyborg at most and all your friends are robots or cyborgs.

>>37319817
that would imply your virginity was not your fault

Diocane che stronzata

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>>37325251
>marriage, or at least consent
Underrated post that deserves a (you)
I'm stealing that.

I'm not a pussy so I just straight up say I'm a virgin. fuck the normies, who cares what they think of it

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>>37326516
What do they say? The last time I admitted I was a virgin was 5 years ago when it was still somewhat acceptable

>>37326771
Most the time they say somthing along the lines of "That's suprising anon, I never would've thought that about you"

>>37326803
I remember a roastie thinking I already had a threesome and being surprised that I hadn't(just lied that I already had sex in general). I felt really great after I heard that, but she is probably somewhat retarded when it comes to judging males.

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>>37323628
>in a puff of smoke vanishes the virgin bloke

lol

>>37323628
Top bantz
Oregano