How do I ask my only friend to take my buttplug measurements

are you a big guy?
get a big butt plug for you

butt plugs are cheap just fucking buy a few

>>37073010
anything bigger than the 3rd one expect your b-hole to get pulled inside out

Buy the cheap starter sets for training. See if you need bigger. You probably won't bother with the small one. Take buttplug measurements though?

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Lets assume for a moment your friend gets his butthole measured.

What exactly will you do with this information "without it being gay?"

>>37073130
Maybe I'll pick an assortment from the refurbished bin.

>>37073010
>h-hey can you put your dick up my butt
>i need it for butt plug measurements
>no homo

>>37073010
>will they let me 'test drive' the buttplugs?

I don't they have a "fitting room" where you can test out the products. I'm guessing that's how C.diff would spread.

measure a turd and go one size larger

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>>37073010
Buy a set or a small/med size.

>>37073367
How do you prefer to remove hair from your ass?

>>37073367
>>37073456
Wax every few months when I want it to look good. Shave in between. Or just shave only especially if you can't afford to get waxed or don't think you can tolerate the pain.

>>37073367
I never got the plugs with the jewels, or the one next to them, I was always told and always got ones with ends bigger than the plug, like the black on with the postit note, or ones with removal strings so I don't end up on the ER. With those jeweled ones, if the hole is relaxed from having it in for awhile, it's related enough to suck the whole thing in

>>37073367
>>37074267
you're right about that. Usually the bigger ones require a lot of experience so you are more careful

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OP maybe try one of these, it gets bigger as you go down

>>37073456
I've been using a Wahl T-Pro hair clipper without the guard for a while. No real problems with ingrown hair but it can nick the sensitive skin back there and bleed a bit if I'm not careful.

>>37073010
You don't, just use your fingers until you can fit four and then start playing with a carrot or whatever
when you can fit a cucumber you can start thinking about buttplugs

>>37073456
My favorite technique is always a latex glove and some patience

>>37074602
Cucumber is excessive. There are small starter plugs.

Or try an aneros

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>>37073010
OP get a smaller one, if you've never used a buttplug before, anything large will be too big.
Furthermore, don't get one in silicone like that, get one in glass. Silicone will keep the smell of shit, and it will be really hard to get out, while glass doesn't keep any smell.
Also glass feels a lot better, it's nice and heavy for if you're walking around with it in, you never forget it's there.
Something generally like pic related is pretty good.

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>>37073367
This anon here.

I wouldnt recommend pic related or this >>37076412 as the base is not flared enough and the stem is too thick. Could easily get stuck in your hole.

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>>37073010
Post a pic of your bussy and I'll be able to evaluate which plug would be best for you.

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>>37076794
Sorry about the quality

>>37073010
get /fit/ and inquire about squatplugs at your gym. They'll be glad to be of assistance (no homo)

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>>37076905
Dude wipe your fucking ass, you got dingleberries

>>37076905
Why are you in a car? Are you phone posting brah?

Buy used ones from craigslist