So how are all of you holding up, /r9k/?

about to die on my final exam of english tomorrow

about to end it

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pretty good thanks for asking, I hope you're doing alright wojak poster

Lost my best friend and person I talked to most about a month ago but the feels didnt hit till yesterday

>oneitis of 7 years goes off to uni last year, think to myself that I can finally get over her now that there's no way I could see her again
>she leaves uni and comes home to the community college I go to and takes classes here 'cause they're cheaper
>walk past her on Monday, avoid eye contact and powerwalk to class 'cause I'm late and I'm practically spilling spaghetti just from seeing her
>think to myself, this could be my chance, I could talk to her and maybe go out somewhere with her and catch up and have a nice chat
>today, I see her coming down the same way
>she has earbuds in
>sees me and immediately pulls out her phone and pretends to be reading something until she walks past me
>stop and call out to her in desperation that I may not get another chance to talk to her
>no response

What do I do now? I really want to send a message on normiebook and reach out to her but I'm afraid that she won't respond or block me.

I just want to tell her I'm sorry

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I'm high and eating Cheetos so life is good right now.

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I think I just flunked one of my classes and I can barely hold a basic conversation anymore

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>>36917845
I've been better.

I had to take my wife to the hospital and have her certified as insane this week. She fled and the police had to arrest her and take her there. She calls me crying every night. The doctors aren't sure she'll ever get back to the person she was before the crazy got into her brain.

I've had to spend all week calling friends to apologize, calling businesses to cancel contracts, and using power of attorney to access bank accounts.

Fucking rough.

I don't know, cause I often complicate such questions and start thinking in philosophical pathways. I feel a slight genuine happiness in my overall life, which leads me very confused. I have so many economical, social and mental problems caused by family, genetics and society. I have little power and no control of the present and my future, and my past is filled with bad troubled experiences and memories which had a negative impact on my life. Even though, I feel genuine happiness. So I ask myself, is this feeling really genuine or is it an illusion? Is this a lie created by the subconscious? How important is it even to be happy in life? These thoughts are making me sad and I wonder if I'm not just plain crazy.

But right now, on this very moment? I feel anxious. I did something really embarrassing earlier today and now I'm ashamed.

>>36917845
Failed at yet one more thing, currently contemplating suicide. I was taking to mum earlier and she was trying to talk me out of it, I don't want to hurt those around me, but it hurts to live.

>>36920773
It never ends

>>36921394
Are you in the UK anon? I'm having the same thoughts, have written out a last note and everything.

baderinoo

>>36921535
I am. I don't know what to do, like I said the only person I want to hurt is myself. I'm a little scared desu. W..what are you going to do?

>>36920773
Did you know her at all before she went to uni? If you guys were at least casual acquaintances then it's not so weird to send her a message like "hey, thought I saw you at school Monday, did you transfer here?" Who knows, she might even be glad to know somebody there.
>>36921095
Fucking hell, sorry to hear that man.
>>36917845
Feeling like I'm losing my sanity waiting to hear if I got accepted back in to the uni that kicked me out. They said I'm supposed to hear back sometime this week but every day that goes by where I don't hear anything is kind of crippling. I feel like I have a good chance to get back in but I also felt like I had a good chance to not get kicked out in the first place.

3000 word research paper due tomorrow 1pm
>haven't even started or outlined anything

>>36921570
I don't know, I'm living alone at the moment which makes it even worse, might try drinking it away and taking some sleeping tablets for the time being. I'm too much of a pussy to do anything drastic. Hope you feel better anon, your mum loves you very much.

>>36921644
>I'm too much of a pussy
Tried it once before, I think that's why she's so worried. Hope you work through it as well anon.

>>36917845
Slaving away to my soul's end.

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Less emotional but still lonely. I guess it's an improvement.

Lonely, depressed, stressed from exams and still hating the fact that I can't see myself in a mirror without wanting to die. Thanks for asking.

>>36917845
resisting the trap psyop invasion as well as possible

>>36923297
Hang in there man.
Why can't you look at yourself in the mirror? Is it really that bad?

>>36921616
i'm in that boat, sort of
15 pages for me, which should be like 3750 words

i started last night though and am 5 pages in
i know exactly what i'm doing, i just need to do it
my entire grade in the class is my grade on this paper so who knows how this will play out

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Every day of my life I pray for something to kill me and my family. The nuclear war that wipes out humanity can't come fast enough

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>>36917845
I have grey hair.
At age 19.
I'm doing meh though, you?

>>36917845
Been getting /fit/ and as a result I have a tinder date in about 3 hours might end that 20+ year kissless streak tonight

>>36921611
I hope you make it dude. I've been stuck on academic probation because I keep caving halfway into my semester and flaking out of class/homework. Feelsbad, but I guess I don't want to give up hope entirely. Don't give up either, OK? Even if they don't take you back.

>>36917845
one step closer to death anon
inb4 i become immortal

>>36924679
Pure grey or salt and pepper?

>havent felt like talking as much lately
>join discords with friends and say nothing, where usually I would be spouting memes and making comments on things
>just feel bored and kind of tired
Doesnt help that they've been playing games that I dont have

>>36924864
Close to salt and pepper.

>>36924902
It's gonna be okay anon. Women like that.

It's not fair, why do I have to be so fucking ugly? it's just not fair. I have decent social skills, I can easily talk to people but I'm just so fucking ugly nobody likes me. I just feel lonely and sad all the time, and I just can't do anything without seemingly making an absurd amount of effort, it's a challenge just to get out of bed every morning, and that is making me fail in everything else in my life and that makes me feel worse and it's an cycle of depression and failure and it's all going to shit and I feel like crying all the time because i feel so fucking sad and lonely and idk what to do. I just want to die.

Not very well. My good days are far in between. I want to feel as though someone cares about me, and for someone to tell me it'll be okay, but no one can say that and mean it without being omniscient. It feels like the things I want in life are out of reach. I used to fall asleep being scared about death, now I fall asleep hoping for it. I really just want this all to be over, I can't imagine a life where I don't feel like this.

>>36921340
What was that thing anon?

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>>36917845
My girlfriend is an ass and I want to dump her. School is stressful, and I don't handle my anxiety all that well.

Basically, I want to get the fuck out of my relationship, college, get a decent career, and live the fuck alone.

Don't get a girlfriend, don't get married, just don't fucking do it. You all will be more miserable than where you are now.

>>36926286
How is your gf an ass?
and do she got an ass doe?

Today I cried like for two hours. Its been getting pretty bad lately

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>>36926286
>Don't get a girlfriend, don't get married, just don't fucking do it. You all will be more miserable than where you are now.
Fucking this. Finally someone with a brain. I've always wanted to do this since getting married will just fuck your shit up more; you'll have to spend money on the bitch, and even more on the autistic kids.

I need to a job but I'm not looking

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Just numb OP, so I guess that's an improvement.

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>>36917845
just got rejected for the umpteenth time. Have a tutorial to teach in a few hours which I have to swallow my agoraphobia and do that to live btw I'm also dealing with pot adiction, mommy complex, daddy issues, extreme introversion, ugliness, avoidant personality, social anxiety, inferiority complex and trauma from being neglected as a child. I just want to kill myself and end this terrible life there's no hope for me why was I ever born.

>>36921010
Actually me though.

So celebrities are all about showing off their gf etc That's basically parading a woman around and saying 'i have sex with this woman'.

I have a girlfriend but I don't want to introduce her to people as my girlfriend because I don't want people to know that we have sex.

I do belong here, trust me. Having a gf and sex is what most of us robots do

>>36917845
>senior on track team
>all the freshman girls bully me

>>36917845
>senior on track team
>the freshman girls bully me

>>36917845
>on the track team, senior
>captain
>the freshman girls bully me
>they call me twitch
>they laugh at me whenever i'm near them
>I have tourettes

>>36926733
>>36926753
>>36926787
Are you ok friendo
originalll

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>8 months and still feeling after I lost my best friend/only girl ive ever loved

>>36926787
eh. Didn't realize my replies were duplicating so now i look like a tard. My oneitis of a year and I are in an awkward as shit situation rn

>>36926716
No, the fuck it is not. The majority of us are virgins, or have only had sex with hookers.

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>>36917845
>Watch Kimi no Na Wa
>Feel happy for once, almost cry near the end
>Suddenly see reflection
>Realize none of this will ever happen to you
>Feel 10x worse than before you started

When will we get off this ride, robots?

I've become the biggest asshole imaginable and it feels kinda good. Or maybe I'm just a piece of shit

i'm so fucking angry that i'll never have a gf or sex with a girl i'm attracted to(without paying for it). i can't feel or think about anything except how angry i am about this. why did i have to be born?

>>36927129
When you finally stop being a pussy and pull it off.

The depression is back and is hitting harder then before.
I think my brain is fried.

>>36927255
I know mine is. 28 years old

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shitty, considering I just realized that r9k is slowly becoming /b/ 2.0

take a look at the catalog right now, it's all shit. not just that, but the population sucks now. before it was humorous posts about autistic shit but now it's all just a dick measuring contest between normalfags bitching about their gf

asides from that, I'm doing ok. I had a slack day at work today and a pretty good fap about 40 minutes ago. .

>>36927374
r9k has been infested with normalfags for quite a while now.
Fun game: browse r9k until you see a mention of
>my gf
then jump to a different board

We'll see after finals I guess. Still feel like shit though.

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This year has been one of my best and also might have a chance of getting back with my ex.

>>36927428
I would be on this board for literally 5 seconds the way it is right now. ever since that school shooting where the guy posted on r9k the condescending normalfag population has skyrocketed

>>36924838
Good luck anon but don't sperg out and say anything that shows too much affection also pretend like you're not a loser and weird. I was honest and after we kissed 2 days later she broke up with me...

Life goes on, like always. I don't feel quite so bad as I did a few months ago, but I still haven't figured out how to feel passion again. Supposedly my issues could stem from deep psychological trauma, and the only way to combat this is through introspection and meditation. It's very odd - when I look around this site, I see people interested in things I used to care about, but now I can't help viewing these things as totally empty. It's actually uncomfortable to browse /mu/ because I hate the fact that I can't enjoy music like them anymore.

It's a mess, though if there's one benefit, it means that I won't wake up at 45 years old realizing I had wasted my life on the easiest possible course and never "figured anything out". It's true I didn't choose this, and I'd like it to be over, but I feel that once I overcome this, life will acquire a sweetness that few people ever experience.

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Today was pretty rough and I don't know why. Had the day off from work but was really bummed out all day.

Everytime I see an attractive woman now(2D or 3D) my depression hits like a fucking bullet knowing i'll never have someone like that.

What makes it even worse is that I did and left her. Five years ago. I've been alone ever since and the worst part of it all is is thatshe hasn't

>>36917845
unironically having thoughts about hanging myself haha

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>>36928349

I know this feel, brother. My interest in a continued existence like this is quickly waning.

>Fuck up my gpa
>tell brother I considered suicide
>He tells me to shut up with that shit
>Immediately cheer up

Pretty good I suppose.

>>36928392
It's really strange. It's as if all the magic is sucked out of life, and you're left wondering why people do the things they do, and act the way they act. Eventually, you realize they experience the world in a totally different way, and give up trying to enjoy the same things they do.

>>36917845
Currently fucking panicking about my life situation.

>2,400 USD in debt and working a horrible job at The Home Depot.
>parents divorced recently
>living with my dad who is extremely depressed
>im starting to drink again and have no inspiration to do anything with my life

>>36928891
i can't rap my head around how people can truly enjoy the things they do, i always think theres some kind of forcefulness, like how much are they actually feeling joy and having fun and how much of it is an act. how do u know u are feeling joy or if you're just being nice and trying not to look like u want to commit suicide

well I have posted three videos of orangutans in the past 5 hours when I should be writing a paper on Neanderthalensis burial sites and the evidence of burials, or lack thereof

I am done studying humans. they are a failed project and the only thing that brings me pleasure it seems is studying primate behavior specifically that of Orangutans

I feel like a rubber band stretched out so far you can see it about to snap