Psychological Issues #57

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If you want to send some love towards Ethan, do it to this post.

>>36889638
I have a really hard time with avoiding work.I know it will harm in the near future but i still do it

>>36889856
Ups forgot to ad the question,How do i slove this mindset of mine and start working edficently?

>>36889917

Give me a concrete example of this.

>>36889960
I have said projekct to do within a week,evertime i try to do it or part of it i prostpone and do literally anything else helpfull or not

>>36889638
Hey, I don't know if this is out of the realm of things you care about or are relevant to the thread, but I asked my bf to meet my parents and he said sure
It feels good to move forward, but on the other it's hard to accept moving on
I guess sidenote, I haven't cried since last time

>>36890002

Have you tried scheduling a precise time to work on it? Like an hour between this and that time?

>>36890022

That's a good thing. How do you feel about the meeting?

Good evening lads, how're you today?

>>36890366

Slow thread today.

You?

>>36890390
I'm feeling ok today, got a few things done, took my mother to take her meds, played vidya, went to get groceries, got stuck in traffic and now im here.

It feels good whenever i don't have to think about the bad stuff, i occupy myself whenever i can, the only problem is that im lazy which contradicts my objective here.

>>36890441

A productive day. That's good.

>>36890129
I guessit's a good thing, but it's a lot of weird feelings
Anyhow, I'm not too worried about it, I'm anxious because this is a big first, I mean my parents have met people before and I can't complain, but never anyone I actually care about let alone a boyfriend. The only thing is my moms a hugger, even if it's her first time meeting you, no handshakes, hugs
I guess she's trying to be friendly

>>36890022
>>36890466

Only dubs.

Are you uncomfortable with her hugging your boyfriend?

>>36890543
Oh shoot I'm on a roll
If you're trying to get at a jealousy thing, I'm not worried about that
It's just odd, you expect to shake her hand and then she's got her arms wrapped around you saying "hi nice to meet you" and I wonder what's going through people's heads

>>36890603
I don't think it's as big a problem as you make it out to be.
It's homey and welcoming.

>>36890639
>>36890603
Unless your boyfriend has PTSD from getting hugged by a bear and getting his lungs crushed

Should I go to an AA meeting?

Idk what the point of them is really the whole idea of them makes me cringe to be honest. Then again I would like to go, I'm so bored and it might help

>>36890670
I've heard they can be helpful. It can't hurt to attend one and see how it goes.

>there have been 56 threads before this one

You guys should get your own website

>>36890670

A support group can be cool to have. But beware of any 12-step program and such with religious overtones. Bullshit like "the first glass" is just bullshit.

>>36890697

Sure, will you pay for it?

>>36890697
I don't like the idea of being constrained to a website, i like to shitpost on a four dimensional scale.

>>36890639
>>36890652
I'm not actually worried about it, I just think it's odd

>>36890711
>>36890680

I just think I don't really need to go. I'm not a textbook alcoholic, I just like getting shitfaced and alcohol is so easy for me to get.

That being said, I need help to stop getting shitfaced.

I have a bad feeling about going, maybe I should listen to it.

>>36890827

What do you risk? Nothing. Besides, you'll be able to help others. Just go.

Sup Nick. Good to see you're not banned anymore.

>>36890859

It was only 24 hours. I'm careful now, I don't do bloxposts anymore, at all. Any mistake I make gets reported immediately. I'm getting special attention from some.

>>36890883
Why have you been getting banned?

>>36890844
I have no idea, just the thought of meeting with fucked up people and talking about alcohol problems makes me uncomfortable, a little embarrassed even, like I don't really belong there. I'm not that far gone you see, I'm quite young.

>>36890911
>Why have you been getting banned?

"Bloxposting", when you add "original" after your comment to pass the filter. I used to write "raviolo" or "ravioli" for that. Not original enough.

Everyone does it but I get reported for it by people who have a problem with the thread.

>>36890911
>I have no idea, just the thought of meeting with fucked up people and talking about alcohol problems makes me uncomfortable, a little embarrassed even, like I don't really belong there. I'm not that far gone you see, I'm quite young.

Who says nobody else will be as young as you? Keep in mind these people are human beings like you, and it'll be interesting to hear their stories.

Hello, first time on one of these threads. Is it OCD if I there is only one or two things I do obsessively? One thing I do is wash my face constantly, at least 20 times a day. It's not like I'm a germaphobe or anything though, and it's just my face, I don't know why do it but I feel like I have to constantly

>>36889739
Who's that?

>>36891049
>Is it OCD if I there is only one or two things I do obsessively? One thing I do is wash my face constantly, at least 20 times a day.

Yes.

What does washing your face give you? How do you feel when you do it and how do you feel if you don't do it?

>>36891049
>Who's that?

A regular poster who's going through some excruciating times.

>>36891015
>"Bloxposting", when you add "original" after your comment to pass the filter. I used to write "raviolo" or "ravioli" for that. Not original enough.
>Everyone does it but I get reported for it by people who have a problem with the thread.

Huh, didn't even realised you could get banned for that. It seems as soon as a successful general starts anywhere people naturally hate it.

>it'll be interesting to hear their stories.

That's very true. Fuck it I'll go. Only an hour anyway.

>>36890117
Sorry for the long delay my internet went down.Lets continue.I have,said projeckt takes about 14hours to complete,i would say to myself that i should spend 2h-3h to work on this ,lets say betwen 14:30-16;30,i would often when the clock hits 14:27 do something else even dough that i know i should be doing the said projeckt

>>36891069
>Yes.
>What does washing your face give you? How do you feel when you do it and how do you feel if you don't do it?

I basically feel a lot cleaner when I've done it, and if I don't do it, I just feel dirty and greasy, even if I'm not. Like I said though, germs and dirt aren't even a big deal to me, I'm the kinda guy to eat some food I just dropped outside.

>>36891015
>>36890883

What a bunch of assholes. 150 threads and they focus on the one trying to help people. I guess they're miserable and want to bring people to their level.

>>36891084
>That's very true. Fuck it I'll go. Only an hour anyway.

That's the spirit. You won't regret it and you might make some friends.

>>36891132
>,i would often when the clock hits 14:27 do something else even dough that i know i should be doing the said projeckt

Do you hate working on that project?

>>36891166

When did you start washing your face so often?

>>36891191
Theres no reason to hate or love said projkect,the main point is that i have a limited amount of time i need to finish said projeckt on.

>>36891196
>>36891196
I've done it since I was a teenager, about 13 I think.

Fuck, I'm late again. Hey Nick, what's up?

>>36891213
>Theres no reason to hate or love

Still, do you like working on it or not?

>>36889739
What's happening with Ethan? Is he okay?

>>36891230

Do you remember what started it? Acnea? Washing your teenage face?

>>36891264

Had about two crises at work, currently feeling more nausea. I had been OK most of the afternoon after the initial attacks.

You?

>>36891273
>Still, do you like working on it or not?
no,but it most be done

>>36891303
Shit that's a good point. I don't really remember, but it probably had to with trying to prevent that. I never really had bad acne, and that's probably part of it.

>>36891313
It seems that you're having nausea more often than I remember. I'm glad to hear that you ended up okay later.

I've been fine. There's not much else to say.

>>36891288

He's getting better, I heard. I don't know when he'll be back to us.

>>36891330

Is there anything in it you could like better?

>>36891332
>but it probably had to with trying to prevent that

What concerned you about it? Looking uglier? Dirty? Growing up? Losing control over your own body?

>>36891354

Yeah. I used to get it in the morning, then would be fine till the next morning. Lately, I'm getting through various types of crises on a daily basis: tears, vomit, or fainting.

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>talkin' to a girl thats in the next town from /r9k/ and it seems like ive made another friend
>Argentina lad is mostly stable, talked about his treatment course
>went to DBT intro this morning, sounds retarded but worth a shot
>meds still workin' ok
>got set up with a lawyer, appointment set to get the ball rolling on court stuff
>Night in the Woods is great
Yaaaaaay contentment

>>36891415
Looking uglier was the main draw by far, but I just hated feeling greasy and dirty as well, and I still do, but only for my face.

>>36891400
Nah,there is a specific way to do it and i know all the steps,not avoiding the steps is the hard part.

>>36891436

Night in the woods is literally made by a Jewish cuckold.

>>36891171
/r9k/ hasnt been constructive for a while, even before the deletion. Why work through underlying issues when you can instead bitch about how everything isnt your fault and shitpost frogs all day?

>>36891387
Well I hope he gets better soon.

>>36891453
Careful he might be the dev going through a midlife crises.
Kek, i hate that bloke so much.
I don't know why.
Maube because he used to shill on /v/ souch telling blatant bullshit to sell his game.

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>>36891453
Im sure it is but I like what I've seen so far.
Though the only vague complaint i can agree with is the vague marxist undertones but thats just my latent /pol/lack internally screaming and i think the mild anti-capitalist bits color the midwestern small town youth colorfully well.

>>36891444

Do you feel ugly in general?

>>36891447

Have you tried giving yourself a reward for doing the work? "If I do my part, I can go to the pool/eat lots/etc."?

>>36891577
>Have you tried giving yourself a reward for doing the work?
Huh that actaully is a good idea,ill try it with some little reward tonight like tea or similar.Thank you

>>36891577
>Do you feel ugly in general?

Nah not really, pretty average

>>36891428
Huh, that's quite the variety. They would all suck anywhere, but home.

Bomp
Lurking for newcomers.

>>36891729

Have you tried washing your face less?

>>36889638
I'm addicted to adrenaline, only driving a high speeds in my bike, doing extreme sports or picking fights lets me feel alive. I'm so happy when I have an adrenaline rush and I feel so relaxed and fulfilled afterwards.

>>36892600

Do video games help any?

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The thread used to get much more activity. I wonder if it's run its course already.

Is it time to stop?

>>36892636
I played when I was younger, I can't go back playing because I find them boring. What I'm gonna do is buy an annual pass for the amusement park since at least in a rollercoaster my life is not in danger. I'm also gonna buy a cruiser motorcycle, which is meant for enjoying comfy rides instead of speeding like a madman like I do.

>>36892689
Maybe people are just lurking, feeling better, feeling worse or killed themselves.

Therapists have several levels of "suicide alert", I have noticed. It goes something like this:

Level 1: the patien thinks about suicide, but in a very bastract way, like a spare wheel you don't want to use.

Level 2: the patient imagines people's reaction after he is dead, and the actual method he'd use, without more details.

Level 3: the patient knows a method and would choose it; he knows how it works, the pros and cons, whether he has the material to make it happen.

Level 4: the patient has all of the above, has prepared things for his departure, and knows he'll leave life in some near future.

I wonder at what level you guys would get locked in. I think nothing short of level 4 would do the trick here.

Some mental health professionals don't know how to ask these questions, however. I was once asked how I'd kill myself, at a moment when I had no precise idea. I imagined something up, then was almost scolded for it, and then almost kept for it.

The following evening, they called me to check on me. I felt cared for. I thought they'd call every evening to check on me. They never called again.

Kek be praised.

>>36892977
>Level 3: the patient knows a method and would choose it; he knows how it works, the pros and cons, whether he has the material to make it happen.
I'd call the cops, inform there's a hanged man in the woods at coordinates x.x.x y.y.y, then proceed to drop hang myself. Nice and fast.
The leap from Level 3 to 4 is a lot bigger than through 1 to 3, I would say. It's just thinking about it, while at 4 it's actually, concretely planning to do it.
>I think nothing short of level 4 would do the trick here.
Yeah. At that point you're actively being a danger to yourself, so involuntary commitment would be pretty likely. Especially if you've actually seeked helped before it, as a cry for help.

>>36893041

The look on my therapist's face when she realises I've already imagined it happening and how. I always say I'd call before doing anything, but she probably doesn't realise that I don't have her number.

Good evening, don't have much to say today,
I'm feeling a bit better, which is nice.

Nick, did you get my email?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E2hYDIFDIU

Dumping some vids.

https://youtu.be/_qIAZcOryl4

>>36893119
>Nick, did you get my email?

I even responded hours ago.

>>36893122

Kek approves. Here you have a licensed therapist who had never heard of C-PTSD before.

I like her and all, but that goes to show.

>>36892977
Hey Nick how's your sessions going? Also to this, solid level 3. But once you make the attempt guess you can't avoid the thought completly ever again.

>>36893133
oh, my email client didn't notify me.

>>36893197
>Hey Nick how's your sessions going?

Went yesterday and going tomorrow for extra long session.

Therapist found me half dead, which is unusual. I normally come back to life when I speak, not much this time. I'm slowly dying is all.

As to you saying level 3, is that your level or is that the level at which you'd be locked in?

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>>36893095
>The look on my therapist's face when she realises I've already imagined it happening and how.
Mentally healthy people take suicide far too seriously, in my opinion. Once you're there, it kind of loses all it's grimness.

>>36893243
>I'm slowly dying is all
Don't die Nick we'd miss you.
>your level or is that the level at which you'd be locked in?
Well once you go full 4 you can't go back up past 3, or at least I cannot. The thought becomes a part of your brain forever.

>>36893331
>Mentally healthy people take suicide far too seriously, in my opinion.

To be fair, it's probably quite the opposite. Mentally ill people don't see how serious it is. I've been on either side of that question, I can confirm.

>>36893354
>Don't die Nick we'd miss you.

A month and you'd be fine.

>>36893354
>Well once you go full 4 you can't go back up past 3, or at least I cannot. The thought becomes a part of your brain forever.

If you get better, the thought leaves you. You haven't gotten better yet, that's all.

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>>36893371
>Mentally ill people don't see how serious it is
Life's not that serious. It sucks and then you die.

>>36893392

You don't know that. Besides, it doesn't have to suck. It can be awesome and enjoyable and fun.

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>>36893409
I've heard tales of that, but I've yet to have seen it myself. I'll just have to keep searching, I guess.

>>36893439

The following usually helps:

>a loving partner
>a job you like
>long-term projects

That way you spend your entire time enjoying being alive. I remember when I liked breathing.

>>36889638
i keep skipping my counselling because i hate talking about my problems, but at the same time i feel alone and depressed
why am i like this?

>>36893389
>A month and you'd be fine.
Bullshit. If you die without me helping you at least to the level you helped me, neither me or my honor would ever forgive you or myself. I couldn't handle it if I failed to save a friend.

>>36893480
>i hate talking about my problems

You probably experience shame about your problems, that would be because you're looking at them the wrong way, and this is most likely because you feel more responsible than you actually are. Let me know if that's about right.

>>36893480
>but at the same time i feel alone and depressed
>why am i like this?

You are alone and you are depressed. That's the simple answer. We'll have to dig to figure out why.

>>36893503

While I can't quite believe anyone would care this much about me via Chinese cartoons imageboardery, that's one more thought to add to my register.

>>36893519
most of my problems are to do with online shit, relationships friendships etc, so yeah i feel stupid about the problems i have

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>>36893454
>long-term projects
Figuring out if the former two exist at all.

>>36893541
Why's that so hard to believe? You've brought my total number of friends past one hand

>>36893567

Drop feeling stupid. If they're problems, they're problems. Period. You don't have to justify anything: if it bothers you to any degree, then that's it.

Drop it all now. It's good practice.

>>36893613

I did that? How?

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I'm mostly numb today. I don't think I cried a single time. Some days I cry 20 times, and some I don't cry at all. I feel frozen inside for now. Spaced out and frozen.

I want off this ride.

>>36893679
What's going on with you my man?

ok so I'm her watching eurovision on youtube while shitposting on /int/ like every year

meanwhile my roommate is watching eurovision on tv

this is completely normal right?

>>36893652
>ex's brother
>moved friend
>childhood best friend
>sensei
>other moved friend
And you Nick makes 6

>>36893694
yes, why wouldn't that be normal?

>>36893692

My therapist still hasn't given me a diagnostic, she just agrees with the ones I give myself, if you can imagine that. C-PTSD is my best general guess, with significant Boderliney traits. She doesn't quite agree so far, but when just a few words from a loved one can make you dissociate, I don't see what else to call it.

I'm just losing it big time.

Have to run to the toilet several times a day during my work, just to dry-heave like a nutter. My students now ask me if I'm doing better every time they see me. I'm tired of lying so I just say no. Fuck it.

>>36893790
What's making you dry-heave?

>>36893694

What country are you in?

>>36893704
>And you Nick makes 6

Fucker, first tear of the day.

A song that usually does it for me has just started, so maybe I'm entering a new cycle right now.

I'm honored to be considered your friend.

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>have an e-friend I've always felt a special connection with
>he's very suicidal
>one day have a complete mental breakdown while talking to him
>go from just being his friend to being madly in love with him in a split second
>week of daily panic attacks and anxiety goes by
>confess my love to him
>says he feels the same way about me
>paranoid it's all one big ruse or i'm going to snap out of it and not love him anymore and will unintentionally hurt him

This is so incredibly weird, what the hell happened to me? I feel like a complete different person from who I was last week and I can pinpoint that mental snap exactly to last tuesday night when my friend was very upset.

>>36893856
Thanks Nick. I'm sticking around, even after you get better. What friends are for. Whats the song, btw? I'm not a music person, but am always curious what other people like to hear.

https://youtu.be/dYLMUnOVVPA

This is pretty good.

>>36893735

Because they could be watching it together.

>>36893832

My best guess is that it's a primal reaction to an anxiety-ridden brain. Human bodies retch when in fear, in part to get rid of extra weight (to run more easily) but mostly to preserve energy from the digesting process. I'm so wrecked with anxiety, due to C-PTSD, that what a normal person needs D-Day to puke out of fear, a normal day does it for me. Living as if everything was war, basically.

>>36893832

You know what fucking annoys me? There's not a fucking single fucking shit word to say "dry-heave" in French. I can only fucking approximate it with paraphrases.

>>36893856
the best one of course

>>36893936
>Because they could be watching it together.
lol, like I'll ever do anything together with that faggot

>>36893936
I know they could be watching it together, my question stands. I was curious what made the person worry enough about it being abnormal to ask on here.

>>36893936
That's a very theoretical answer, possibly correct. I was more curious what brings these moments on.

>>36893960
At least you have a word for not having a word for things, and it's the same as in English: lacuna ; )

>>36893866

Very interested in you, because I've had someone snap on me similarly.

Perhaps you had feelings for him before already, but kept yourself from being aware, to avoid suffering; once you broke down, these defenses went away, and you connected with what you already felt, this time consciously.

Just a theory.

>>36893911

The one I posted right after:

>>36893936

>>36894041
Yeah ever since I met him I've always felt a spiritual bond to him, I've always considered myself hetero so suddenly developing this level of feelings for a guy just blows my mind.

I know it's more extreme than natural, we've talked about committing suicide together and stuff which sounds really good to me and my obsession over him is starting to alienate my other friends.

>>36894033
>That's a very theoretical answer, possibly correct. I was more curious what brings these moments on.

Not always sure. Nothing specific. Sometimes I wake up with it, sometimes not. I suddenly had nausea earlier, for no apparent reason.

It's a general state. I didn't have this for months, and then bam, now I have it.

>>36894033
Lacune is way more general, it just means a gap or hole, basically.

>>36894240
Anything that triggered it? I mean the " bam, now it's here" moment. What type of work do you do btw?

When LO didn't want to leave, she'd say, "Don't go. Please don't go."

As if I was the one leaving. The entire trip, I couldn't believe this was the last time I'd be in her presence, I still can't. Writing this post has literally just given me a shockwave of dissociation. It's like fucking magic.

I apologise in advance for any weirdness on my end tonight.

>>36894102

Do you want a relationship with him?

>>36894286

I teach.

Now I struggle with nausea/fainting/crying while teaching. It's an extreme sport.

>>36894350
Sounds really rough man, I have to say I'm impressed you're managing to do all that and still have time to run these threads. How are you managing?

How come everyone I meet online turns out to be a pajeet? Indian
Every single time, they are an infestation IRL and online.
Fuckin' hell

https://youtu.be/nL6DxEiQo8k

Possibly my favourite scene in that movie.

Possibly I liked it because it foretold my own future. I use to be on the way to have what he has and just lost it all.

>>36894339
Yes, absolutely, I'm in love with him.

Guess I'm scared this is whole last week has been a psychotic episode because of this love thing and the extreme paranoia, panic attacks, anxiety, feels like people are putting thoughts into my head, derealization/depersonalization too and if/when i snap out of this I won't love him anymore

>>36894394
India is the most heavily populated area on the planet, so... makes sense?

posted the other day, my body hurts all over. probably psychosomatic.

i thought popped in to my head earlier that the physical pain im feeling is a form of self-sabotage. im putting things off cause of it, i dont want to commit to some long term activity since i dont know if i'll be able to keep doing it in a couple of months.
i dont want to go out and meet new people since im stuck worrying about what might happen.
so how do i go about dealing with self-sabotage? how do i even go about realizing if thats even the case?


also Nick, im really curious about your background

also also, atleast in healthcare it's normal with slow periods. just cause the thread's slow today doesnt necessarily mean that the need has been fullfulled

>>36894422
Chances are you're right mate. What would happen if it turns out your psychosis was causing these feelings?

>>36894423
The inbreeding is so hardcore they have children with tails, huge heads, mouth full of teeth, and I mean full.
Fucking disgusting I hope a nuke wipes them out.

>>36894382
>How are you managing?

I'm not. At this point, I'm amused by the whole thing. It has become a joke to me that I have to tell my students to focus hard on this exercise because I have to absent myself for a minute.

"Sir? Are you OK?"

"Nope, but I'll be back soon."

I'm just waiting for the moment I'll faint in the classroom, for entertainment value. I'm so past caring now that I don't care. It almost happened before.

Almost broke down in tears while reading a text out loud, which somehow connected to my life. Had to stop, choked up. Rumors run wild in my school. Can't tell everyone I have potential C-PTSD.

I wonder how long I can last this way.

>>36894515
You should try raping your students to discipline them.

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>>36894422

Maybe you too have a past in common and felt it with each other. Tread carefully.

This is what destroyed my life.

Pretty neat, but what I was wondering is how often do you actually hand out no-shave chits? I think my whole time in I saw maybe one person get one from medical.

>>36894588
Fuck, meant to post this in a thread on /k/.

I think I might have ADD
>all my life, been getting in trouble for not paying attention
>often zone out in class when i was a kid
>parents got mad at me for not paying attention
>teachers got mad at me for not paying attention
>often just zone out and think about things and just completely tune out reality
when i was in high school, my friends would sometimes comment on how i would just zone out and stare off at something, completely unaware of my surroundings

Is this normal?
I mean, I still do this shit too. Like I'll be reading a book or watching a video or movie or just doing anything at all and I'll just tune out of everything and go on autopilot.

At my old job, I lucked out and got a position as a receptionist and a lot of the time, when I didn't have to do anything, i'd literally just sit and stare off into nothingness for hours, like a zombie

I remember one time my mom told my friends (back when i was in high school) that i was slow. I felt really embarrassed and denied it but maybe i am slow, maybe i'm just an idiot, maybe i have ADD? I don't know

>>36894515
Geez man, that's fucked up. Do you have anything in place for if you eventually cannot cope with the pressure? Is fainting something you do? It's actually pretty rare outside somatic disease, but you seem smart, you probably knew that.

Anyways, it sounds like your emotional safeguards are paper thin at the moment, and that sounds like a real pain in the ass. I'm sorry mate.

>>36894466
Then I just will have to explain the situation and hope he can forgive me. Best case scenario is I stop acting crazy and return to my normal depressed self and my love returns to a normal state and not all crazy and paranoid like I am now.

>>36894586
Thank you, I will. Hurting him is the last thing I want.

>>36894451

I don't think it's self-sabotage, because in itself it doesn't sabotage anything, if we mean the physical pain alone.

There may be things you're not yet aware of.

>>36894451
>also Nick, im really curious about your background

Enough years in hell to know something worthwhile about various personality disorders, both my own and those of others. My background is mostly in literature and linguistics, then education. This summer I will either start studying on the side for a psychology degree (with my English and my experience with children, I combine two very niche opportunities here and would never run out of a job, ever, even with only one of those two things) or I'll considering pressing the button.

>>36894618
sorry, forgot my user name

>>36894618
That might not be ADD. Zoning out like you described is more often associated with dissociation
Some people are just more prone to zoning out, and by itself isn't necessarily a sign of mental illness. But if there are other things going on then it might be worth seeing a doctor for.

>>36894478

Now's a good time to let you know one of my friends is Indian and that Indians are very intelligent people. Not saying Indian culture per say is all that glorious, in terms of what people do, but relax on the genocidal desires.

>>36894571
>You should try raping your students to discipline them.

It wouldn't work. They'd react like you, they'd misbehave to get raped again. Fuckface.

>>36894702
That, and I'm pretty sure consanguineous relations are far more common in the middle east and Pakistan than in India.

>>36894618
You might man, if you really want to know, go talk to your doctor. Getting diagnosed is not that much work and if medication can clear up your thinking it can really help. Otherwise, if you're coping like this, you can also go on. Doesn't sound like there's real pressure on you to find out. Just know you can always talk to your doctor.

>>36894660
If it truly is psychosis, it'd be pretty terrible if he wouldn't forgive you, considering it's outside your control, right? If he really turns out to be that terrible, you haven't really lost anything, I imagine.

Anyone here experienced sleeping paralysis?
At the time I thought I were dead, I couldn't move/speak.
I tried yelling for help but it didn't work.

It was kinda spooky.

>>36894702
I have my reasons to hate Indians.
Specially the ones in my country.

>>36894093
Oh ok. Question: how do I fix my reflex of avoiding possible relationships? You helped me notice it the other day when you told me that could be the cause of my feeling empty and I immediately deflected the possibility. How do I get over the fear of the shreds of my heart being destroyed?

>>36894722
Maybe I want t- I mean, they want to get raped again, ever think of that?

>>36894588
>>36894609

Kek be praised. I have no idea what you said even means.

>>36894618

Dissociation, my man. ADD isn't real.

Come to think of it, I do this too when people speak and I don't care. Especially teachers at school. I thought it was normal and everyone did it, but apparently not.

You're not an idiot, you don't have ADD. But you dissociate (in that special way).

Any abuse in your past?

I have serious anger issues.
I resonate between happiness and will-to-work and sadness and will-to-die. (I do not believe I'm bipolar)
I have a nicotine addiction.
I aspire greatness, but fear misunderstanding.
I want to believe in God, but can never fully leap in faith.

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>>36894783
>Anyone here experienced sleeping paralysis?
Yep, experienced it quite a bit in relation to lucid dreaming. Just forcibly try to wiggle your toes and you'll get out of it shortly.

>>36894657
>Do you have anything in place for if you eventually cannot cope with the pressure?

A high beam and ropes. It's already in place. But I use it to do pullups.

>>36894657
>Is fainting something you do?

I have fainted in a supermarket. I've fainted in a classroom but without students.

>>36894657
>It's actually pretty rare outside somatic disease, but you seem smart, you probably knew that.

If you mean fainting is rare outside of somatic diseases, I guess so. I know 100% my fainting is psychological, not physical.

Today I felt the true distance between me and the normies at work. It was as though there was a great rift between us. They were going on about normie shows, saying how they couldn't believe anyone would eat steak bloody (or even medium rare) and most annoyingly one said
>I wish I could be a child again. Everything was so much fun! Tee hee
I mean, it's good that they had a nice upbringing but it did emphasize the difference between us. I keep thinking about how good I've got it at work. It shouldn't be stressful at all. No one is stressed. Everyone is having a lovely time, and yet I'm taking semi-frequent breaks to the bathroom just to take a breath. What the Hell? It's probably the least stressful environment that it could be yet I'm watching the clock sweating cobs.

>>36894794
That's not a question with an easy answer, it definitely has a solution and it's attainable, but it also requires therapy, fairly intensive therapy at that. I can't imagine you just picked that fear up casually last year, probably has been with you for a long time. It takes time to unpack the causes and underlying memories and to re-evaluate what they mean to you today. At the same time you could practice forming safe relationships, somewhat like you're doing on this board, expanding that to the real world maybe

>>36894618
>>36894677
>>36894859
Ok I have to step in here a second and state for the record that ADD is absolutely a real thing and far more common than dissociation, which is uncommon as hell. I restate my advice from earlier, if you really want to know you should talk to a professional about this. What you described could be a host of things to me, but only with actual diagnostic process would we really find out.

>>36894783
>Anyone here experienced sleeping paralysis?

Yes, more often in the past 8 months than ever before, since I had never experienced this before.

It is very spoopy.

>>36894969
Wiggle your toes, Nick. Nothing spooky after that.

>>36894794

Read about attachment styles, that may help.

You also need to learn to be self-sufficient to the point where you don't need a relationship to be happy (and once you've achieved that, teach me your ways, senpai).

Alternately, to overcome the fear of your heart being destroyed, you can do what I did: have it completely destroyed, shreds included. Now there's nothing left to break. You'll also stop caring at this point, which can be good or bad.

>>36894928
>A high beam and ropes. It's already in place.
That sounds like a real last ditch strategy, life must be weighing on you pretty hard if you're considering suicide. You have any other plans that don't involve dying?

>>36894810

Don't be coy now. Just assume the position and I'll pound you with the rage and hatred of a dying sun.

>>36894669
i'll add some backstory to it.
the last 10 years or some i've spend doing the minimum required to keep my mind not incredibly bored. so basically infront of a computer.
then i started getting in to climbing, but my fingers started to hurt
then i started getting in to hiking, but my heels started to hurt
then i had a gf, but i started worrying i might have reumathoid arthritis and the anxiety killed that relationship
now im in to yoga, but my knees and shoulders are starting to hurt

all this new pain to keeping me away from what i started doing. the pain alone is not sabotaging, but my reactions to it is.


you seem really well educated, and also like you've got massive problems. usually one excludes the other?

Is it possible to experience schizophrenia effects(hallucinations, sounds etc) without actually being schizophrenic? The subject intrigues me, how the mind can create such realistic objects.

>>36894882
>I resonate between happiness and will-to-work and sadness and will-to-die.

How long are your cycles?

Describe an example of serious anger issues.

>>36895053
>Is it possible to experience schizophrenia effects(hallucinations, sounds etc) without actually being schizophrenic?
Yes, absolutely. Verbal and visual hallucinations can be caused by a vide variety of things. How's your life in general? Any sources of notable anxiety?

>>36895053
Absolutely, if you stop sleeping right now, you will have a psychotic episode before the week is over probably. Psychosis is associated with schizophrenia, but can absolutely occur outside of it, usually when emotional systems get overloaded. This can happen in people without mental illness, but is also common in severe depression, personality disorders, post-traumatic stress disorders and anxiety disorders.

>>36894961
Minor levels of dissociation are common especially under stress, dissociation reaching the levels of an actual dissociative disorder is rare. I believe one study found that the majority recruits going through basic training experience moderate levels of dissociation. And zoning out and daydreaming are commonly viewed as "mild" examples of dissociation.

>>36894934
>Everyone is having a lovely time, and yet I'm taking semi-frequent breaks to the bathroom just to take a breath. What the Hell? It's probably the least stressful environment that it could be yet I'm watching the clock sweating cobs.

My brother in bathroom breaks. I do think of you whenever I dry-heave like a cunt for no apparent reason.

There is a great rift between you and most people. They weren't raised in hell, you were. My hell was very nicely decorated and it took me over 30 years to realise it was hell, but I'm on your side of the rift, I realise.

And I don't have DID, I don't fit anything in that diagnosis.

Do you know anything about being unable to connect to one's own memories? As in, I recall my past as belonging to someone else.

>>36894961
>Ok I have to step in here a second and state for the record that ADD is absolutely a real thing and far more common than dissociation,

And I'll maintain that it isn't. The symptoms diagnosed as such are real, but "ADD" isn't a condition any more than "wet eyes" are a condition when people cry. People cry for more specific reasons, same with attention deficit.

Whenever any of my students get an ADD diagnostic, they're either abused at home, mentally retarded, or bored to death.

>>36895106
Im pretty depressed and have social anxiety. But Im opening this subject because once, when I was in that state before deep sleep I saw a creepy girl that could barelly make any sounds, it didnt really scare me, but it fascinated me how I could perceive something so fucked and yet seem so real. I wanted to know if this is how schizophrenics see the world around them, but on another level

>>36894859
>Any abuse in your past?
Not really, but when I was like 2, my appendix burst and I had an appendectomy

>>36895117
You're right about that, theoretically, absolutely. I just know from experience that if I'm seeing someone that describes that, more often than not, it's some type of attention disorder than something more severe (which every disorder that features dissociation tends to be), most of these disorders would cause a lot more distress than the original poster indicated in his post, which led me to believe that it is in his/her own best interest to at least keep the option of an attention problem open and allow him/herself the option of looking into it with a doctor.

>>36895134
In a couple of ways:
1. I've blocked out more memories from my childhood than I've retained
2. I can talk totally dispassionately about roughly any of the ones I do remember, and I don't feel much attachment to it beyond that it makes a pretty good story. It's as though it's a backstory written for me rather than something I actually went through

>>36894928
>fainting
are you sure that you're not skipping your meals?
well gebus, that sounds like some intense shit going on there m8
cant you smoke weed? :-) but it's always better to practice chilling out without the weed. try observing your surroundings, thats what i did.

>>36894934
>they couldn't believe anyone would eat steak bloody (or even medium rare)
They don't even sound human.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amKyA2PrSu4

>>36895022

Yeah, studying to become a therapist. My own therapist urges me to do this as she thinks I'm cut out for the job.

Maybe I should do it then join some big ass corporation around here, my English would allow it easily, and then I'll have enough money to wallow in all sorts of depraved shit. Might even take up drugs.

So yeah, I got some alternate plans.

>>36895116
Thats so interesting, will it cause permanent effects on the brain if someone deprives themselves of sleep to experience these psychotic episodes frequently?

>>36895053
I hear stuff all the time.
Like people calling my name, and when I ask if anyone did they disagree.

I would sometimes rarely hear quietly like someone is talking to something.

Back in highschool I often hear the bell ringing when it isn't.

On a non related matter.
Is it normal if my vision flickers?
As in everything goes dark for a split second and its back to normal.
As in someone turned off the lights then back on
And no I didn't blink.
This happens very often.

>>36895030

Might want to look up OCD, it's a shot in the dark but it may relate to some degree.

Most pains in those examples are completely normal. Why does pain scare you? Do you think it means you should stop whatever you're doing?

>>36895030
>you seem really well educated, and also like you've got massive problems. usually one excludes the other?

Not at all. You'll find people have massive problems at any level. I'm an exception though, my parents weren't educated at all. God only knows how I managed to reach university and win.

>>36895266
I have a close friend who, because of circumstances, went about a week without sleep dealing with an ongoing crisis about ten years ago. He was had to deal with certain psychotic symptoms ever since, and doesn't expect to ever recover.

>>36895184
We have to make clear for a second that there is no difference (at least in the DSM) between ADD and ADHD. There is some very compelling evidence for the existence of these disorders from experimental psychology and neurobiology. My expertise is in adults, so I'm not 100% on how this is with children. In adults however, it's strongly attested, even though I agree with you it might be over-diagnosed. As much as this may surprise you, we do check for trauma/abuse during these tests. I actually expect in the coming decades for research to combine the dimensions of ADD/ADHD and ASS though, but that's a whole other story.

>>36895266
Psychosis is not something I would recommend and especially through sleep depravation might lead to serious damage in the brain, so no. If you wanna hallucinate, try drugs, but do it safely.

>>36894961
It wasn't overnight. Having every romantic relationship end with being cheated on is probably the cause
>fairly intensive therapy
Fuck. I can't afford that. Have only $100 to live off of until next Friday.
>>36895003
>read about attachment styles
Will do
>until there's nothing left to break
That would require opening myself to it again, which I'm currently incapable of doing and am trying to fix.

>>36895053

Yes. You can have a technical flaw, like an ear problem, which can make you hear things, or even things like migraines with auras can give you visual hallucinations and have nothing to do with mental illness (last time I checked).

You can also do drugs and have comparable effects.

>>36895318
>Is it normal if my vision flickers?
Did you bli
>And no I didn't blink.

Nope. Could be a ocular migraines, though.

>>36895251
It was a sad affair. If I say that it's more common in Britain than America you can join the dots.

>>36895318
Holy shit, you mean the light flickering is an actual problem? I thought it was actually just the lights turning off and on again, as it only happened to me inside. Also, another related thing to this is that occasionally my eyes move very quicly in random directions just like Im dizzy or someone hit me in the head and my vision had to adjust. Does this happen to you also?

>>36895225
>I can talk totally dispassionately about roughly any of the ones I do remember, and I don't feel much attachment to it beyond that it makes a pretty good story. It's as though it's a backstory written for me rather than something I actually went through

That suggests you've disconnected yourself from it.

Brace: next time you think about those memories, imagine me in them, instead of you. A me the age you were during that time. See how different it'll be.

And prepare to rage. Then realise this is how you should feel about your own memories with you in them.

>>36895266
as i understand it a psychosis will always cause permanent damage to the brain

>>36895355
>Fuck. I can't afford that. Have only $100 to live off of until next Friday.
Homeslice, you don't have to start before next friday. It's not a decision to be made lightly, I just wanted you to know that help is out there, and will continue to be out there. Problems like yours can be modified and helped until you're well into your 80s.

>That would require opening myself to it again, which I'm currently incapable of doing and am trying to fix.
Which is what I meant with "intensive therapy". It's hard to do this alone, but I do feel like you're getting a head start by doing this. Shit, you're vulnerable to us here, I could have called you a fag, but didn't. Baby steps, nothing that took years to develop will disappear over night.

>>36895249
>are you sure that you're not skipping your meals?

I burst out laughing. I normally don't eat until the afternoon, but nowadays I absolutely cannot eat, nothing will stay. I get fainty feels even after I ate entire meals. For years, skipping both breakfast and lunch never gave me any faintings.

Every instance of fainting or near fainting took place in public and generally with a woman around. I've nearly fainted in trains, in bookshops, in supermarkets, etc. I feel it coming a full minute before it happens.

>>36895439
No, at least not yet.
I don't think it's anything serious.
You may need to consult a doctor about your condition though.

>>36895318

Phantom sounds. Sometimes I think I heard my phone make a sound telling me I got a message.

>>36895318
>normal if my vision flickers?

No. Unless you're just blinking.

OK, you called it, saw it later.

This is nuts, I've never heard of that. What the hell?

>>36895353
>As much as this may surprise you, we do check for trauma/abuse during these tests.

Maybe you do, but around here, everyone and their mother gets ADD/ADHD, usually coupled like that. Everyone from my NPD father to my mentally retarded students and abused students get to be called ADD/ADHD. I see it as a way to explain why otherwise capable students can't get regular results.

"Not paying attention" sounds like BS to me, mostly. Like a negative definition where the real thing is missing.

I wonder what ASS is.

>>36895393
>Could be a ocular migraines, though.

If you mean migraine with aura, then no. I have those and it's nothing like what he describes.

Is it sad that Im actually looking forward to this thread everyday? I feel approved and normal

>>36895616
Sorry mate, mistyped. Autism, ASD.

>>36895457
>a psychosis will always cause permanent damage to the brain

I'm not sure about that one. More like whatever caused the psychotic break may do some damage, but even that, I'm not sure that's how this stuff works.

>>36895410
Still, I'm pretty sure overcooking steak must be some sort of crime even over in the UK.

>>36895339
OCD would be a real long shot. i suppose i could twist it and say i've got some sort of obsession that my body needs to be perfectly healthy in order for me to have a decent life.

at the start i thought it was normal. but my fingers are aching as much now as they were when i was climbing 2-3/week. and now its months since last time i went climbing.
i stopped most things cause i've been afraid to cause permanent damage. and in part also because i couldnt deal with the anxiety.


im sort of similar in that my parents doesnt have any education whatsoever. though i dont think i would've managed to beat university in my current condition. life was easier when there was just depression without any worries, although it was really boring aswell

>>36895649
I look forward to it too,
it's cathartic to just say things here

>>36895649
>Is it sad that Im actually looking forward to this thread everyday? I feel approved and normal

It's not sad at all. It makes me happy that you feel this way. It's all I have when I get back home. I used to have a loving woman who smiled and ran to me whenever I got home. Now I come home to a fucking mess, and silence.

You are approved and normal, you just have abnormal circumstances.

>>36895663
>Sorry mate, mistyped. Autism, ASD.

Shoot, I was looking forward to my new pun-cow.

>You got some serious case of ASS, Anti Social Syndrome

>>36895685

Have you checked the medical angle? Maybe you have some nerve issues or something.

>>36895726
The world could be beautiful.

>>36895719
Don't forget you are also approved and normal. I hope things work out for you, who knows, we might be colleagues one day.

>>36895459
That's just indicitive of my financial state, I just can't afford therapy for the forseeable future.
>>36895649
Don't feel that way, this is usually the highlight of my average day.

>>36895744
>Don't forget you are also approved and normal. I hope things work out for you, who knows, we might be colleagues one day.

I feel useful, sometimes, more than approved, but that's good enough.

Colleagues, in what? Teaching or therapy?

>>36895505
:-P
you might want to chill. is it like an anxiety attack?

>>36895792
>That's just indicitive of my financial state, I just can't afford therapy for the forseeable future.
I got that. Don't underestimate the power of this though, communication is healing. I mean, unless you spend a lot of time in literally any other thread on this board. Not as helpful there. Where do you live btw, in Europe a lot of this stuff is free.

>>36895811
Therapy, or teaching honestly.

>>36895815
>is it like an anxiety attack?

I've recently read that it was considered part of it. It makes me wonder what I had over a decade ago, when I felt sudden and absolute sheer terror. It was insane, it scared me so much I feared attempting to kill myself to escape the feeling. I've never experienced this since. But I lived in fear of that for a long time.

>>36895743
been to the doctor twice for joint pain. did a bunch of blood tests which was all normal. i am also a physio and i can say there's no objective signs of anything being phsyically wrong

Why does schizophrenia seem like such a taboo thing?

>>36895925

Could it be... fibromalgia? My LO used to take mental dumps on that one, but it could be legit for all I know.

>>36895937

Because people don't know much about it, so it spooks them, so they don't like to think of it as real. They prefer to think it's for crazy people and movies.

It's not that taboo but people would rather no schizos live near them. Any lack of control is perceived negatively.

>>36895841
Burgerland. Absolutly cannot afford any mental care.

>>36895671
Not all Brits appreciate bloody meat

>>36895848
Why do you fear death?
Do you have anything to lose?

Only reason I haven't killed myself yet are my material possessions.
I don't want anyone taking my shit when I die, I don't like it when someone messes with my shit.
I one day might burn all my possessions and jump off a building or something.

>>36895649
I look forward to those everyday, it felt relieving talking about my problems with other people.
Now that I dealt with my problems I feel empty, I have no goal anymore.
I just come here and talk to others and hopefully help someone going through tough times

>>36896001
>Could it be... fibromalgia?

nah, i do believe that it's a real diagnosis though. but it's for sure not what i've got.
the most probable diagnosis is hypochondria

>>36896036
>Why do you fear death?

It's wired in me. It's not a "thought" thing. Because of my high level of anxiety, on most days, I feel like I'm about to die. The following day or so. I don't feel this right now, so I can't even relate to myself anymore, but most days, death is very real to me, in a way that it isn't when I'm stable, the way most people are.

>>36896036
>Now that I dealt with my problems I feel empty, I have no goal anymore.

You haven't finished dealing with your problems; if you had, you'd be happy right now and have new goals.

>>36895848
ay, that sounds like one. you might want to practice mindfulness, look it up.
basically when you feel like you're thinking too much, sit down and look around you and describe what you see, use your 5 senses. worked a lot for me. there are other techniques like focusing on your breathing. i'm sure it'll work for you.
i wish i could dump the online resource that helped me, but i don't know how to.

>>36895453
I'll have to build myself up to that, I think. Still, I am affected by comparable things in fiction for example. When it hits too close to home I just can't watch.

>>36896111
I don't know, it doesn't seem like it can get any better from here and onwards.
I've done all I can, now I just go through the days, I don't do anything memorable in most of them.
I'm just, there.
I don't think I could possibly have a goal anymore, never had one, probably never will.
I'll just keep waiting until the day i die, alone.
Its funny how no one misses you until you leave.
They would post "we miss you" etc on social media and boast about how much they loved you, when then never showed it to you when you're with them.
Life is a cruel joke.

Sorry I'm rambling again.

>>36896171
>you might want to practice mindfulness, look it up.

Had a whole day of learning about this stuff. What I'm dealing with is way beyond that. I've learned to breathe with my diaphragm and all, but yeah, it's all useless against what I'm dealing with.

I know how to handle crises, it's just that I can't really do it in public. Over a decade ago, I'd do this:

>take most clothes off
>open window for fresh air
>splash cold water on face and chest
>kneel down, forehead against cold bath tub
>focus on all the physical stimulation from the cold

Grounding your consciousness in your body, basically. I did this before knowing it was what was recommended.

>>36896270
>I don't think I could possibly have a goal anymore, never had one, probably never will.

Those come when you feel fine. Then you have an actual desire to do more than just surviving, which you seem to be doing. Surviving is what you do when your happiness level is low and you're mostly anxious, worried, in fear, and trying to survive.

>>36896270
>They would post "we miss you" etc on social media and boast about how much they loved you, when then never showed it to you when you're with them.

It is. Now tell me when was the last time you told someone how much you loved them.

>>36896336
>when's the last time you expressed your love.
I never truly loved anyone, probably never will.
Probably no one loves me anyway.
I can't relate to anyone, I feel that everyone is in it for their own benefit, and they'll go to someone else whenever they got no more use in you.

I never expressed love, but I expressed appreciation.

I told my online friend how much I apprentice him being there for me and helping me through hard times.
But even he doesn't message me anymore unless I do first.

That's how it is with everyone I know.
They won't text first unless they have a favour to ask, or unless they have a problem.
This behaviour disgusts me.

I'm rambling again.

>>36896543

You're not rambling.

Maybe you don't have the right friends for now.

>>36895003
Best as I can tell I'm some wierd mix. Was anxious-preoccupied and now completly fearful-avoidant

>>36896591

Would you avoid a relationship with a girl who'd be into you?

My guess is no. So I disagree. You're still anxious-preoccupied in my humble opinion.

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I've seen a man die for six hours straight.
Lung cancer + cirrhosis + tuberculosis.
a big red/purple star on his chest.
I can't sleep right, it had been several month already.
Every cigarette feels like a self death threat.
I can't into people anymore. I'm just slowly drifting in pure madness while accumulating debt and absence from society.

>>36896652

Have you looked into PTSD?

Are you seeing a therapist?

File: lamb.jpg (30KB, 500x691px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 500x691px

https://youtu.be/X_DVS_303kQ

I'm leaving soon.

Some of you will recognise that song.

>>36896578
I don't know anymore, maybe it was something I did, but I've done nothing but be overly nice to them.
All the hatred and jealousy I kept to myself.

I've wasted my life being a good friend for people who deserve worse.

>>36896683
I can't see anyone, I feel really ashamed and weak when I have to interact with people outside.
I cannot afford a therapist tho. I could try for the psychiatric hospital but I'm afraid that they will reject me for not attempting to kms

>>36896792

Your condition is serious and requires help.

>>36896611
>Would you avoid a relationship with a girl who'd be into you?
Yes, believe it or not I would completly avoid it. That was actually the start of my every relationship. I found out they were into me weeks before I ever made a move. usual timeline was:
>she hits on me for months
>I'm clueless
>either her friends or mine tell me she's into me
>think through every interaction with them I can remember
>agree with the friend(s)' opinions
>ask girl out

So, when things are objectively good how to remain positive and optimistic and enjoy the moment and so on rather than being a tense ball of mismatching anxiety?

>>36896850

Interesting on many levels. You seem to have game. You also seem deaf.

Be careful, because if you can't see the signs when a woman is into you, you may not seen much subtler things.

>>36896881

I don't think that's a state of mind sort of thing. You'll feel the change when you've changed. Start by dropping your parents. Seriously. Drop the hateful fuckers, drop them hard.

Nighty all.

>>36896941
Night night then. Oh, one last note if you could: that therapist wants to get my partner's slant on me. Thoughts?

>>36896307
aww *hugs* why can't you control yourself in public? its too stressful? you might want to take a break and sort your things out. just remember you're not alone in this, people are ready to give you the support :-)
yep. to feel your surroundings. if that won't do, try learning martial arts, or learn a craft like painting or sculpting. for the longest time drawing has really helped me get through my anxiety attacks.. everyday i would force myself to sit down and draw something. and now, i've learned enough to draw some nice looking stuff (i hope) :-D

>>36896974
>Oh, one last note if you could: that therapist wants to get my partner's slant on me. Thoughts?

Gut reaction: too soon, way too soon.

Confirmation: if you feel ill at ease, fuck it. He'd be better off getting MY take on you at this point.

>>36896988
>why can't you control yourself in public? its too stressful?

It usually happens when something extra happens. Not just being in public.

A break won't help. I just live in a situation that's daily torture. I have intense emotions and violent mood swings based on context. If I'm in a loving relationship, I experience near spiritual happiness; if not, I'm in despair. It's so intense it's ridiculous.

Nighty all, for real. I'll keep an eye on the thread.

Thank you for your kind words, dubs.

>>36896652
I would see a therapist for PTSD if I where you.

Watching people die is very unpleasant, and really seems like it had a major negative effect on your well-being.

>>36896917
>seem deaf
No just socially retarded. I can't tell the difference between women dropping subtle hints and just beung friendly.
>Be careful, because if you can't see the signs when a woman is into you, you may not seen much subtler things
Tell me about it. I'm a simple man.

>>36897076
Oh okay good night Nick. See you tomorrow's thread.

>>36896652
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Short of professional help(which I still need) I'd advise getting back out into the world. The isolation will only hurt you more, trust me. You need friends by your side.

>>36897076
> If I'm in a loving relationship, I experience near spiritual happiness; if not, I'm in despair.
from what i know you're not supposed to feel that way... well, good night, i wish you all the best, please don't do harm to yourself ok? i like you and your threads.

>>36897450

Thank you.
Night to you too.