ITT: When was the last time you shit yourself

3 weeks ago. But it was more just a mild shart. Yes i am an alcoholic. Also iwas alone at home so the FUUUCCKKK level was very low. 1/10 story my last shit pants was

>>36851676
A couple years ago. Roll out of bed into my chair, turn on computer, suddenly I have the sensation that I need to fart while playing vidya. It wasn't a fart. I proceeded to crab walk out of my room to the bathroom next door while holding up the ends of my shorts so as not to release any spaghetti on my brown carpets to get stepped on. Cleaned up in the restroom knowing the rest of my day wouldn't get better.

at work a couple years ago

>>36851676
whenever i hold on in for too long some little bits fall off it and roll out of my pants - dunno if that counts though

I sharted in mart about 15 years ago when I was deathly ill. Tried to flush the underwear down the disabled toilet. Let someone else deal with it.

>>36851772
>>36851816
>>36851824
>>36851870
>>36851873

You disgusting freaks

literally never shat myself (if being a baby doesn't count, obviously), nor have I ever seen anyone do so. Is this just a meme or do Americans really have no control over their bowels? Are there really people out there who think this is a normal occurence?

Pooped infront of a QT cashier. She treated me like a retard. Was hawt t b h

>>36851924
i dunno. i have bowel disease so i'm used to it

>>36851924

It's very normal, anon. I shit myself regularly at least once or twice a month. Everyone has accidents at least once in a while, some more than others though. I guess you're just lucky or never leave the house/or dont do drugs.

>>36851895
I'm gonna fuck your ass.

>>36851924

Hey sometimes you eat a lot at a nice restaurant and it fucks your insides up.

>>36851924

I poop my pants every week. It sucks, you must be trolling.

I have only pissed myself as an adult, I tend to be able to make it to the washroom for such a thing.

>>36851924

Nice b8 faggot, everyone shits themselves at least now and then

R9K is full of adult children who go poopy in their pants all the time, not surprised. They also cry constantly and live with mommy and take naps. Might as well enroll in daycare and leave society completely. Sperg city is more like it.

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>be me
>first night in my own apartment at 18
>been playing a fuck ton of Arma 3
>intacticoolmode.png
>go to get a soda
>neighbor upstairs falls down
>loud thump
>makes me shriek with a powerful REEEEEEEEE
>end up letting a little bit out
>it's a shart but a wet one at that
>so self-embarrassed I end up throwing my entire outfit from that night out

>>36852013
>Nice b8 faggot, everyone shits themselves at least now and then

No they fucking don't

when I was 3 years old

>>36852140
lol lying faggot

>>36852150
fuck you it's true desu

>years ago
>driving to school
>red light before turn
>drop a mud monkey in pants
>no warning brap
>u turn and go home
>tell padre I had downs or something

Elementary school. You had to ask the teacher for permission to go to the toilet.

>>36851816
Why cant you americans distinguish between farts and shits? Serious question btw

>>36852297
>Why cant you americans distinguish between farts and shits?

They eat literal wheels of cheese

>>36851956
What te goddamn fuck do you fucking eat?

Only when I was like 11 at Disneyland

I had some BBQ that ran straight through me and kid me couldn't handle it for the half hour it took to get to a restroom.

>inb4 diaperfags

I go to a different board and come back after an hour and this is the first thread I see.
Fucking kek

Like a year ago when my colitis was really bad. I couldn't hold it in on my run to the bathroom. Luckily it was just bloody pus that came out and not shit, so easier cleanup.

>>36852327
what does eating cheese have to do with loosing control over your bowels? That doesnt make sense. What kind of cheese are you eating?

>>36852356
HAHAHA WOW UR SO EDGY LOL

>>36851772
pretty much this

but also fucking >>36852241
that shit pisses me off so fucking bad, the cunt teacher would humiliate you just for asking to use the bathroom
>"Really, Anon? Youre acting like a kindergartner you need to be able to control your bladder, you should have gone before the bell rang, etc"
so basically i had to shit one day but was too scared to go so i tried to hold it in until the bell rang. all of the sudden BRRRRPPPPT
I tried to pretend like nothing happened and everyone kept asking what the smell was all day, kek
was found out eventually though and forced to go home
only time i really fully shit myself

>tfw I always shat myself in school to go away and stay in my home
Nobody knew

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>>36851772
haha i somehow got the whiskey shits while I was drunk instead of next morning like usual. This happened about a year ago, drank almost a fifth of JD by myself and was on some other wack shit. One moment I was listneing to tunes in my room, then I needed fresh air or else I'd hurl so I went for a nightwalk while totally wasted, then I was headbutting one of the side entrances to my old high school (this was 2am on a weekday), then I was walking back home with some jalapeno pringles and i had no idea how i got them. Anyways I got back to my room somehow and was taking my pants off and I accidentally shat on my fucking carpet in my bedroom, winter coat and tuque still on, can of pringles in one hand. Fuuuckkk. I think I froze for like a minute in that position in shocked realization. I started cleaning it with boiling kettle water and threw up some disgusting yellow pringle paste into the cleaning bucket seconds later. Quit drinking for a few months after that.

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>>36852376
>what does your dietary habits have to do with bowel movements

>>36852622
STOP EATING THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SHIT WHAT THE HELL

>>36851676
I was like 12-13ish. I know it was a saturday because I got up at noon. I walked out of bed in sweatpants to make myself a buffalo chicken quesadilla (using leftover chicken) and shart myself while doing it. The next day I got out of bed again, made the same quesadilla and shit myself again. The second time was much more mild.

I don't shart that much but I do piss myself regularly when I get really drunk

>>36852554
nigga I literally parked a turd in my pants and only when people smelled I mustered up the courage to ask the tracher to be excused

>>36851676
the last time i excreted myself was when i was in bed, half-awake in the middle of a dream

then i just let the piss flow

When I was in kindergarten, during recess, I had to fart really badly and I shit myself instead, and I just stood there, standing and watching the other kids play for like 20 minutes. They found out, though.

Afterwards, I'd shit in a bush in my backyard for a few weeks. I was not a normal child.

>>36851772
alcoholics are weak.

>>36852691
hmm maybe I should read posts before replying next time

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>>36852714
Why did you feel the need to state this, anon?

>>36851676
on the school bus back in elementary school

>>36852696
>then i just let the piss flow

I wish you had let it flow on my face while I ate out your shart smeared ass

>>36851676
Not too long ago, actually.
I was pretty sick, or as sick as you can get in the prime of your life (20), and I was having some bowel problems.

I think I tried passing gas but instead I "sharted". It wasn't really a huge accident but in my head it still counted and it had me thinking "When was the last time this happened to me?"

It also made me think about how others might feel about that happening to them, you know?
Because I didn't feel embarrassed by it, I was quite sick after all. But how would anybody else react?

I have a terrible habit of holding my poo in my rectum
At least every once a day, my bowels will cramp like I'm pooping, so I squeeze my ass cheeks together to attempt to hold in the poo
It doesn't always work though, and I accidently squeeze out a Hershey kiss sized glob of poo-paste that gets stuck on my hairy butthole.
I reckon this happens at least twice a week, depending on how many fiber bars I eat

>>36852041

Gtfo You cocksucking normal fag

>>36851676
Couple of years ago me and my ex were starving for week abd something so we "ate" some spice mix for rice. It was way past expiration date and we both shit ourselves at the same time and then fought over the toilet. Fun times.

>>36853284
That sounds oddly cute, anon.

I sharted last night. Not much poo came out.
I did it just to see if I gave a damn about anything. I was laying on the floor, 110% depressed and felt like I couldn't care about anything.
Then I felt a hot fart that would be wet creeping up on me, decided to fire it at away at full force and I had no reaction to it.

You know you are beyond saving when you can just shart and not give a dang.

>>36851676
I was real young in a water park, shit myself on the way to the barhroom

It was 2 and a half years ago. I have met so many people who fucked up my thinking, making living(at the time)(up to their standards) impossible. I had gotten a bunch of money and was homeless. I had eaten a (because vegan) bunch of uncooked beans because my diet was so boring & I didn't have a microwave. I was near cal poly and was unsure if I would be in the right to use their bathroom since I had only payed sales tax in the state. There were no other bathrooms around. I almost made it, and would have, but I decided to go to the stall that was second from the door because the first one was the only disabled stall. I would have made it had I used to disabled stall.
Moral of the story: don't eat uncooked beans or you get diarrhea

It was several years ago. I was sitting in the chair in my room eating a pizza and thought I had a fart coming. Much like the comical song, it was actually diarrhea. Only a squirt came out, but I could feel it running down my butt crevice all the way to my balls and knew immediately that what had passed was not merely gas. Everything changed in that moment and now I live in fear whenever I feel a fart being chambered.

>>36851676
Well here goes

This past friday farted and shit flaming hot cheeto goo in my pants at walmart

Sat yes again drank lots of whiskey had a few powerades couldnt hold it so shit in the woods got on my shorts left them there

And tomorrow I have to be up at 9am I'm drunk now had pizza pasta and added ghost pepper sauce so yes I will have liquid shits and I would say 80% chance I shit my self after coffee idc anymore though

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>>36851676
I literally don't remember. I must had been wearing diapers.

>>36851772
>>36851816
>>36851873
>>36853440
>>36851924
>>36852297

I came to this thread just to point that out.

I don't know why Americans are all casual about it and try to soften the blow by calling "sharting", or "skid marks" "dude I gambled on a fart haha epic fail".

You sharted? What does that mean? It means you shit yourself, stop trying to hide behind portmanteaus.

No one shits their pants on purpose.


Then there's like a whole industry of meme products designed for grown-ass American adults to help assists with the disaster that is them going to the washroom, like wipes originally meant for babies and very old people.
But they instead call it like "the bro butt washer" or something.

really makes you think

>At work, in a professional job
>Talking to boss and coworkers about not-work stuff
>Have to fart
>It was more than a fart
>I wasn't saying much in the conversation anyway so I just walked away calmly
>Went to my car and drove home while hovering over my seat best I can
>Changed into my other pair of black pants
>Threw my underwear in the garbage
>Came back to work
>Nobody noticed I was gone

>>36853846
I'm not American. As a very sick child I shat myself and since it was in a supermarket I said because of funny memes.

Back in college.

I was leaving class and was at that point where I figured I had the choice of shitting in the school bathroom or holding it until I made it home. Decided to pinch up and go home to my own toilet. Only problem was I rode my bike to class.

About halfway there I realize I'm just not gonna make it. The shit is part of the way out and I'm standing up on my bike, clenching as hard as I can while the tip of the turd periodically touches the fabric.

I abandon my bike at the bottom of the stairs and open up into a full sprint to my apartment door but it's too late. There's full on poop in my pants as I open the door and waddlesprint into the living room. My roommate asks me what the fuck's the matter with me and I simply responded with "just pooped, man". Threw away my shorts and spent half an hour wet wiping in a prison of my own shame.

And someone stole my bike, too. Bad times

>>36853862
I have a stomach bug I just shit in bed

>>36853862
>>It was more than a fart
what in the goddamn fuck does that even mean? please tell me

Friday night me and a club slut were drunk as fuck while I was fucking her at 4am I shit on the bed good news she doesnt know she blacked out half way through I think I changed bed sheets but mattress is stained lol

>>36853934

It was a Fart+ man

Gas plus a little extra

>>36853893
you were way past the point of no return before you even left college. do you americans just really enjoy shitting or what

>>36853947
thats a shit you fucking retard. you still fart while shitting. thats no excuse ti not be on a toilet

I have never shit myself or sharted. But I started drinking smoothies at night for calories and my poops have turned softer and sometimes even after wiping clean, i have to go back like an hour later, sometimes a few times a day, to wipe again

fucking pisses me off.

>>36853972

Tactical error man, it happens. The school shitter was a cramped, uncomfortable sort and I wanted to enjoy a midday turd in my own place

>>36853696
When I was living in a car (my thinking was so fucked up) I assumed one of such people was going to come and kill me one day for spreading an infection, because no1's perfect, this was before I shit on the floor, it was a giant fear of mine and part of it has come true

When I was visiting my in-laws with my wife, I woke up before everyone else and shit myself, thinking it was a fart, while sitting in the dining room. I calmly walked into the bedroom (wife was awake but still in bed) and grabbed a change of clothes then took a "shower" where I rinsed my underwear best I could. My pants had nothing noticeable on them so I just threw them in the laundry. Fortunately, they have a clothesline over their shower where clothes were hanging to dry so I put my wet but passably clean underwear up on the clothesline. I had to take a real shower too because otherwise they'd wonder why I took a shower but I'm completely dry. I think I covered it up pretty well. Nobody was acting different toward me after that.

>>36851676
when I was sick last year

>>36854017
also, this one was nothing major, I ate a bunch of hot sauce from Smart & Final. It was a tiny shart that I wasn't expecting while I was walking home. So stay away from eating copious amounts of that hot sauce
foods should really have a diarrhea warning that cause this imo

I shit my pants all the time because I like to hold my poop in. It feels really good until I have a literal "oh shit" moment.

I rarely wipe either. I just clean my ass out in the shower.

>>36853972

What is it with you and Americans? Did an American man take your girl or something? You keep saying it's only Americans, even after someone told you he isn't American.

>>36854133
europeans dont shit themselves after elementary school unless they have serious medical problems. I'm just trying to understand this thread

>>36854000
I'm not sure what kind of smoothies you're drinking that gives you anal leakage, but if you -need- extra calories, coconut oil is your friend. 160cal per teaspoon. You can use it in absolutely whatever.

It won't also make you necessarily fat or unhealthy, the fat in it is MCT and it has absolutely no cholesterol.

>>36854169

That seems like you're making a huge assumption about a massive number of people

Get the fuck over yourself

>>36854169

They do, but people usually go to great lengths to cover it up when they shit themselves in public, and they tend to not tell anybody about it so you don't know it happened.

>>36854169
Americans have terrible diets and even worse lifestyles. It's not anything new.

>>36854255
YOU HAVENT TOUGHT OF THE SMELL YOU BITCH

>>36854232
>>>/reddit/
like for real. go there. youll be happier

>>36854352
Calm down you rancid kankle lover

>>36854380
b-but le reference gibs me upboat pls

>>36853935
kek you're alright normie

>>36854409
le suck my le asshole out

>>36851870
what the fuck
>>36851924
Seriously. I read stories of people shitting themselves constantly because of them "not being able to hold it" like what the fuck who can't hold it. Also similar stories of people pissing themselves. I understand doing that stuff as a child but who the fuck does it over the age of 11? There hasn't ever been a single situation where I physically could not hold it in and shit myself.

>>36852791
why not? it's a public board, i can post my opinion, and my opinion is that alcoholics are weak, insecure people. problem?

>>36852327
kekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

>>36854597
the only explanation I have is that those people are normies who regularly leave their room for extended periods of time

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I used to purposefully shit myself on class all the time when I was young, everyone would freak out and shit, I felt so smug, tricking everyone into thinking I'm retarded but in reality I just wanted to mess with them

>>36854647
Shut the fuck up you insufferabIe piece of shit

>>36851924
I shit myself almost everytime that i eat chinese
isnt that normal?
same with all my friends and my little sister

>>36855651

Buy some adult diapers, anon...

>>36852297
Real talk though, our diets are so chaotic, unstructured, and unhealthy that we don't have a common sensation for farts, solid shits, or liquid diarrhea.

>>36851676
When I was like three or four. There was a really close call about a year ago though.

>Dog is huge and strong but acts like an excitable puppy
>Walk her to burn some of her energy off
>Stomach starts hurting really bad about a quarter of the way through
>There is an intense pressure pushing again my sphincter
>Lots of people are out especially on bikes
>My dog is terrified of bicycles, skateboards, baby carriages, literally anything on wheels
>She gets really riled up
>Some guys waking too fast behind us
>Dog bolts forward, nearly knocking me over
>Ass feels like somebody put a bullet through an aerosol can
>Hurts bad and smells worse, palpable wetness
>Try and calm her down so we can walk home
>Finally get to the bathroom. There's a visible skid mark but no damage
>Dump ass like a monster for nearly fifteen minutes.

I blame Pizza Hut, it always gives me the shits.

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>>36852691
>parked a turd in my pants
fucking KEK

>>36855651
STOP EATING CHINESE IS THAT REALLY SO DIFFICULT TO FIGURE OUT

>>36854726
I do that too. It's an excellent way to repel the normies.

>>36851676
Last night actually. Yeah I really like shoving marshmallows up my ass then letting them out in a diaper. Been using the Jet-Puff JUMBO ones lately too. I seem to have hard limit of no more than 9 of them (I've managed 40 regular ones before) no matter what I do.

Well it wasn't exactly a shit. I do void and clean myself out beforehand these days so it was just marshmallows but stuff did come out of my butt while I had clothes (a diaper) on. I think that counts.

>>36852691
>I literally parked a turd in my pants
I hope it didn't get towed away! Haha!

>>36855801
Nice facebook froge faggot, go back there.

>>36855855
but I like Chinese

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>3 years old
>in bed
>hear a tumblr
>think it's nothing and go to sleep
>next morning
>get up
>45 pounds of liquid feces in my pajamas
>look back to the bed
>A HUGE BROWN STAIN ON MY SHEETS
>get concerned
>take sheets off
>wake up mom in the process
>"WHAT THE HELL?"
>i cry
>she starts to cry
>dad walks in
>laughing his anus off

I've been an autist since I was 3

>2 days ago
> gonna go to store
> quick fart before I leave
> whoops
> time for a shower and guess I'm doing laundry.
> really didn't even think I was risking a shart at the time
>life is full of mysteries.

Like 4 years ago. I was just sitting in my room - didn't need to poop at all - let out a silent fart and it wasn't constraint or forced. Hell didn't even noticed I shat myself until I stood up like 2 minutes later and felt something sliming down my leg. It was pure liquid shit

>>36855801
>>36855914
my post wasn't that funny. are you mocking me?

>>36855965
>>3 years old
>>hear a tumblr
Underage

>>36855965
Wouldn't you feels something like that?

>>36855965
>>hear a tumblr
Fee, fye, to, fum
I smell the blood of white cis scum

>>36851676
I remember it, I was like 5 years old, I woke up and looked in my little undies and they were full of little brown pellets. They reminded me of the little crumbly things on top of the Entenmann donuts. Now I can't eat those kind of donuts without remembering that day.

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>>36855855
that first reply isnt me

what you dont understand is that my apartment is like 30 seconds walking to a super china buffet

they have the best crab rangoons and peanut chicken in the world and the buffet only costs $6.49 so excuse me if its a better option than the ramen in my cupboard which is the only food i can afford because i go to the buffet every day

i have designated seat that no one else uses because ive shit myself in it during my afternoon binges so many times that the stains and smell that never goes away scare away the normies

i can literally see the crushing defeat on the faces of the workers everytime that i come in but they have no choice
i pay good money
they have to serve me

lol fucking gook wagies

>>36851676
The last time I drank 3 delsym tallboys
Fuckin dexshit asspisses man i might just get a fucking buttplug to keep the firehose of molten shit back next time

>>36856091

you are a cruel master, anon

>>36853846
Shart in mart is a meme you dip
Americans are just as disgusted by pants shitting as any other developed country

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>>36851956
Go away Chris Chan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw7SlPagGw8

>>36856091
>and the buffet only costs $6.49
Now that is a bare faced lie

>>36851924
The only people I've known to shit themselves after toilet training have been very ill or alcoholics.

>>36856253
It's not unreasonable if he lives in a low-income area and the food is bad enough to give him violent diarrhea every day.

>at work
>stomach hurts
>feels like a fart
>go to an area nobody else goes
>it's not just a fart
>go to bathroom
>didn't get on underwear
>shit
>get up
>get llight headed
>almost fall down
>shit my brains out like 3 more times
>drink enough water from the sink to feel good enough to clean my ass and go tell my boss im sick
>go home
>Sleep like 15 hours into the next morning

Not really embarrassing but I don't think I ever shit myself since being an infant besides that

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>He doesn't masturbate with his shit
https://sendvid.com/oote29su
Normies I swear

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>Out to eat with family for sister's birthday
>She picks Olive Garden
>Enjoy a bit more limeade than the human stomach can handle
>Finish meal feeling completely fine
>Halfway on ride home start getting shakes, feel the cold air rub on my skin
>Gas starts to build up in my stomach
>Really uncomfortable
>No escape but to wait it out
>Barely make it home in time
>Retarded younger sister decides to run into the house to go to the bathroom first
>Autistic me shouts "THAT'S IT" and shits green goop all along the back of my legs

From that day on I decided to never go to Olive Garden again
>mfw I shat myself in front of my whole family

>>36856091
>that first reply isnt me
Yes it is

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>>36856253
>>36856307

its one of their main selling points
they got a huge poster on the window and on the wall that says "BUFFET SPECIAL $6.49 ALL DAY!"

why do you think i went there in the first place?

About 4 years ago. I had ramen for lunch and was forcing farts for laughs and I shit a bit.

>>36851676

3 weeks ago because I had food poisoning

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>>36856091
>i have designated seat that no one else uses because ive shit myself in it during my afternoon binges so many times that the stains and smell that never goes away scare away the normies

I laughed so hard at this, I sharted

Good to see old /r9k/ is back

>>36856184
I'm American. Most of the guys (and girls) I know have admitted to shitting their pants at least once in the last 2 years. Sometimes it just happens

I haven't ever shit my pants as an adult but a few times a year I have this weird sickness shit that happens
Basically I will feel like I have to poo, like normal, but then it feels like I'm constipated
Or not completely constipated, it moves just enough that I can tell there is progress
There is a slight lapse in poo progress through my ass then the shit plug or whatever it is pops loose and I let loose this foul stream of liquid that seems never ending
Once the first wave is over, or sometimes in the middle of it, I become overcome with these hot flashes
They increase in intensity until I have another wave of liquid death pour out of me
It goes like this, getting marginally worse with each wave until towards the end I am slumped forward grasping at my legs for balance, or leaned back against the wall, or weaving in my seat feeling very close to passing out and panting very rapidly
Once the hot flashes and fear of unconsciousness are gone I have been done shitting for approx 5 or 10 minutes so I clean myself up and crawl in bed for the rest of the day
I hate those shits, I never see them coming and they fuck me up hard. I only recognize it for what it is when the first hot flash shit stream starts. Happens so rarely I haven't found a pattern.

>>36851676

I've slightly sharted myself on multiple occasions but the last time I really shit myself was about ten years ago. I will use this opportunity to blogpost about exploring campus buildings and tunnel hacking.

When I really properly shit myself, I was a student and in my dorm facility so luckily I wasn't out in public. I was wearing light pants though IIRC (I believe I still have the pair), and so I descended to the first level, keeping as unobtrusive as possible. This particular building was multiple-use for the campus, and the back-end of it housed bullshit staff offices and random music rooms and such. Other parts housed the security office for the whole campus, and the basement area is where janitors and such would report in. I smoked and chatted with the janitors a time or two, they were pretty chill, resigned to their lot in life.

Anyway the reason why I descended a level to go to this first floor bathroom is because it was much nicer than the bullshit dorm-level bathroom upstairs. Some years earlier I lived in a nicer building on the same campus, but which had similar sprawling, multi-use purposes, and so you could access bathrooms on another level which were much nicer. I would go up to the third floor in this other building just to take showers (newly remodeled room), because the showers on my level were so shitty and cramped.

I got the shit-pants cleaned up without any significant embarrassment, though someone might have seen me looking like OP for a moment.

cont.

>>36851928
Judging by the quality of this sentence she was not at all far from the truth.

>>36852647
Everything you eat makes you shit, that's the fucking point, kike.

Two months ago, give or take.
>get home, had the next week off work
>flop down in bed, take pants off, start drinking
>try to get up hours later to shit
>fall forward on my face
>shit myself right there on the floor
I piss myself a lot, too, when drinking. Not in large quantities but enough that I have to change my pants.

>>36858205

So back to these campus buildings. I did tunnel hacking and urban exploration with other anons in the early part of college, so I got a good sense of the underground tunnel network which connected these buildings. This brings me back to something else.

In this old building where I started living at college (the most desirable dorm building), there was a single four-person unit, tucked away all by itself on the fourth floor. This was a piece of meme-status, and I'd been in it once or twice, but of course it was a bitch to actually hike up to it. Anyway the building is clearing out in the spring, and a roof access has carelessly been left open by someone. Naturally, we explore.

We get up into the roof level, above the third floor (parallel with this living unit I've just described) and we find a corner which is just outside the living unit. There is this huge door-sized panel, sitting in the darkness, plastered head-to-toe with pasted-up cutouts of 1970s pornography, a spank-board hiding and not destroyed or even detected by campus authorities for all these years. I was very impressed that such a thing could stay undisturbed up in an attic like that. There was nothing else around so it's not even as if it was buried in by other junk.

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>Drinking tons of water
>Eating spicy food
>Eating cereal
>This created the perfect shit-storm and I ended up shitting myself for the third time within two months.
>Instead of being mostly water it was half water half shit

I know it has to do something without how much liquids I'm drinking + the cereal.

>driving to friends' house
>eating taco bell
>a little rumble in my tummy
>pulling up to the house
>open the car door
>oh, i guess it's time to fart
>fart
>a little poop comes out
>clench my butt together
>realize i can't just walk with my ass clenched the whole time
>unclench and hope for the best
>get in, go inside
>tell them i have to go piss like right that moment
>nobody thinks anything is weird
>go to the bathroom
>remove pants and underwear entirely
>start peeing (in case anyone was listening) and wiping simultaneously
>look at boxers
>some poop in them
>just remove them and throw them in the trash
>cover them in toilet paper and paper towels
>looks legit
>go commando the rest of the day
>nobody is any wiser

STOOL

IN

POOL

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-2722828/Hotel-threatens-1-400-fines-rowdy-Brits-caught-pooing-swimming-pools-disgusting-new-logging-craze-exposes-guests-harmful-bacteria.html

Jokes aside, what the fuck, right?

>>36859211
foreigners cant handle a wee bants lol

>>36851676
I was sick once with a terrible fever, I tried to down some soup during my fever but i just ended up shitting my self during some belchesIt happens though can't even blame myself

>>36856091

comedy gold post anon
keep up the good shitting work

Just yesterday as I was getting out of the pool.

>Tfw every time I go to the pool resort I go to a pool that isn't occupied and take a dump there
They even put out some flayers because some guy was shitting everywhere

>>36851676
couple weeks ago
>tfw forgot to eat food for like 3 days and paid the price of literal liquid shit leaking out of me while i was asleep

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>on lunch date with a gril I met online
>everything goes alright, I guess
>she wants to go hiking
>not really up for it, but whatever
>about 20 minutes into the hike I have the urge to shit
>try to hold it in
>around 40 minutes after that we're still fucking hiking and I can't take it
>tell her I need to shit
>other people are on the trail so I try to find a tree to go behind where no one can see
>trip on a root or something and fall
>shit myself

>>36852131
I have to agree with you on this one. Can't say I ever remember shitting myself.

>Brother is a total robot anime weeb
>I'm absolutely shitfaced drunk
>standing in his doorway while he fills me in on the last 500 episodes of one peice
>think I gotta fart
>totally shit my pants
>Can't stop it coming out
>underwear is totally full
>just sit there and keep listening to his synopsis for another 20 minutes before I manage to escape
>massive black goop in my underpants (I was drinking red wine) just try wipe my ass clean. Doesn't work
>have to toss my underwear in the trash
>blackout
>shit all over my hands and my legs and back
>end up showering it off. Keep drinking
>wake up next day
>my ensuite is literally covered in shit streaks
>turns out I fell over and rolled around in my shit and got it all over my hands and there wre like shit hand marks all over the side of the toilet, the shower and the walls
>puked cleaning it up because I was so hungover.

>>36854329
I have a terrible diet and lifestyle. However, I've never managed to shit myself.

>>36851676
Like two months ago, my diarrhea was worse than I thought and I used to believe that sharts were a meme.

Luckily I was in my house in pajamas and I managed to stop before the damage spread beyond my underpants.

>>36861594
Continue topkek desu

>>36861688
Tbh desu its ogre rofl

>>36861835
alright, it's not really interesting though

>really angry I shit myself
>pull down pants to finish the job
>inspect the damage
>boxers are covered and can't be saved, almost nothing on pants thankfully
>throw away boxers
>walk back pretending nothing out of the ordinary happened
>fucking bullshit hike ended up lasting over 2 hours

>>36861950
Did she smell something? Will there be a second date?

>>36852356
LOL SO EPIC RITEEEE :D

A few weeks ago. Was drinking heavily and slept with someone. I lost my phone and crashed on his couch for a few hours so I could sober up enough to find it. Woke up and sat up, immediately vomit came up into my mouth. As soon as I stood up shit came out.

Walked outside to the trashcan and spit the vomit out of my mouth. Called a lyft. Hope he couldn't smell it. Thank god the boy was sleeping and had no idea.

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>>36855651
>>36856091
>>36856478
Audibly laughed at these.

>>36854597
throughout my childhood and early teens I used to piss a little bit when I was laughing, but that was because I had a weak pelvic floor, also I dont do it anymore. I cannot understand how someone who isnt a geriatric could shit themselves

>>36859189
>friend cleans trash and finds your shitty boxers

>>36852297
fucking this man, it's seriously weird. they're putting some fucked up chemicals in american food.

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>be me
>average human, physiologically speaking
>have fairly unhealthy diet of processed foods
>have fart (it was actually a fart)
>I am an adult and can make it to the toilet on time
Seriously, you niggers, what the fuck is wrong with you? I see you all talking about the food you ate beforehand as though that is some sort of excuse for shitting your pants, how fucked up is your gut flora that you can't handle a little spice, grease or sugar without violently evacuating your bowels?

>>36863212
Where do you live? American food is posion. I've only been to USA once for a couple of days and ate breakfast at some place. Almost threw up later that day and spent almost a week after that feeling sick with a greasy smelling breadth that wouldn't go away. That's why I can see where these threads come from. Living in a country where almost all of your food is like that must be hell.

>>36863308
I live in Scotland anon, we don't exactly have a reputation for healthy food, but it sounds like they must be eating literal poison if they're shitting themselves this frequently.

>>36863334
anon our national dish is the fucking deep fried mars bar we are in no position to be criticising americans for eating junk all the time
i mean in fairness ive shit myself multiple times as an adult though so maybe im just as bad as the rest

a-also
G L A S G O W
L
A
S
G
O
W

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why are you eurofags pretending like you would feel the difference between a clean fart and a fart that lets out liquid shit?

>>36863492
I'm moving to Glasgow in a few months for university lad
>ive shit myself multiple times as an adult though
yeah, you've lost me here, last time I shit myself was when i was around 13 and had a stomach bug.

>>36863526
Why are you having liquid shits? You know that's not supposed to happen unless you're seriously ill, right?

I haven't shat myself since I was a baby
I pissed myself when I was about 9. On my way home from school but other than that nothing
You guys are weird. Even by robot standards

A few years back after getting really drunk, woke up with a ball of poo under the sheets. My ass and PJ's were oddly clean though.

>>36851676
In kindergarten tbqh
t. Yurorich

>>36853934
There are 4 states of matter, solid, liquid, gas, plasma.

Fart = gas, shart = liquid.

About an hour ago. Feels so warm and squishy in my diaper. Nothing better than waking up to a soggy diaper and turning it into a messy one. xD

>>36851870
that absolutely counts man

>>36851924
I'm American and I agree with you. Last time I shit myself was when I was a little child. I'm shocked at how many people in this thread are acting like shitting yourself basically all the time is ok.

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>>36852691
>I literally parked a turd in my pants

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>>36852691
>>I Iiterally parked a turd in my pants

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Less than a week ago.

I farted and liquid came out. Wearing only boxer shorts, a little bit fell onto the floor as well. Threw the boxers into the laundry bin and hopped in the shower to clean up, cleaned up the floor with spray and some rags. The shorts are good as new after a trip thru the washing machine btw.

I wouldn't consider shitting yourself a big deal unless you're in public.

I have a scat fetish so I shit myself intentionally. I remember one time I took a 2 foot long shit in my pants and I ended up jerking off 8 times in one day because of it and I went to sleep with it still in my pants because I didn't want to get rid of such a great load.

>>36851676
I have never shit myself. Nor when I was a kid nor when I'm drunk.

t. European

>>36851676
couple of weeks ago. I just threw my underwear in the bin because I couldn't be bothered washing it

>>36851676
Iw as the night after really fucked up mushroom trip.
Woke up at 3am, urge to vomit. While I was squatting next to the toiled, vomiting my insides, my bowels cramped so hard, that I let a splash out.
Trip was good tough

>>36864680
Similar thing happened to me. Was walking around the house naked because I lived alone. Farted and ended up sharting on the walls and floor. Took a bit to clean up but no big deal. Since then I learned never to trust a fart.

A combination of a bowel disorder and being easily stressed/scared has led to this becoming an almost regular occurrence. I don't want to leave the house anymore because of it. Doctors talked about colonoscopy but that horrifies me. Honestly might just get diapers.

>>36851676
I was around 10 years old and I was trying to fart on my sister on a car ride home and ended up starting out a pudding log and my dad made me elevate myself for the remainder of the ride.

>>36865857
>tfw your sister will never fart on you

>>36861688
>underwear is totally full
>just sit there and keep listening to his synopsis for another 20 minutes before I manage to escape
Funniest part desu.

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>>36863526
Humans don't normally have liquid shit.
Even when I did, I never ever shat while farting.
I don't even understand how it's possible, I've discovered the concept of sharting on the internet from americans. I've never heard it discussed here.

>>36851676
Used to drink a ton of cough syrup to get high on DXM. Shit my pants gambling on a fart. Stumbled out of my dorm room high as shit and wiped my ass in the bathroom trying to hang on to reality. Got back to my room and got into bed, shit myself again