Am i the biggest JUST on r9k? >no friends >closest thing

the sad part is your post barely scratches the surface of what's wrong with you doesn't it?

>dropped out freshman year
What was the problem?
Can you tell us more about what school was like for you?

Before people come into the thread talking about how easy high school is - realize that everyone's experience is different, and everyone's high school is different. I was a straight A student before transferring to a different high school senior year, where I almost failed out - luckily that last semester didn't greatly effect my college admissions.

Not forming a support group early in someone's time in high school or college can have major ramifications on their success in that institution, would you succeed in a place where you didn't want to go every day, where people didn't like you but only tolerated you?

Anyways OP... what are you doing with life now? Do you have your GED?

show us your face please anon, i'm curious now

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>>36832538
>no friends
>no mom
>34 years old
>completed high school still poor
>mental illness
>major depression
>anxiety, manlet
>very rarely communicate with people
>never around girls
>schizophrenic
>failure

>>36832609
Extra normal ass. Don't think thats gonna work here chief

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>>36832538
How did you get brain damaged, friend?

ONE OF US, ONE OF US, GOOBLE GOBBLE GOOBLE GOBBLE

>>36832609
I don't remember all the details of how it happened super clearly but i think basically it came down to me being very uncomfortable around people and just not wanting to go to school at all

Thats all i remember about it though

Haven't bothered with GED since I know my life will still be fucked no matter what i try and fail to do

you're a white male aren't you.

we're getting more and more of these cases popping up.

basically you're the most fucked demographic to exist, fell through the cracks, no hope, suicidal, only mummy to take care of you

you shouldn't have existed

>>36832677
Have taken a lot of prescription drugs for my depression out of desperation to try and make me somewhat normal-functional. I regret it now but
I even had ECT treatments. Eventually my psychiatrist gave me a medicine 5 years ago i think it was an anti depressant that also helped with sleep called mirtazapine and it just fucking annihilated my brain, made everything 100x worst at least, idk if i had a hypersensitivity to the drug or what

>>36832835
I'm sorry anon
That must've been awful to go through

If it's any consolation, you don't sound brain damaged in this thread

>>36832650
>Extra normal ass. Don't think thats gonna work here chief
Nah, I literally have no friends now, I'm a KHV male loser who is failing college

I'm just saying, there's a lot of reasons why people do poorly in high school or college. Just because someone doesn't excel doesn't mean they are an idiot. If the system itself sucks, if it feels more like a prison than a school, then people won't even WANT to do well. I just hate when people act in so incredulous towards high school dropouts in threads like this, when everyone's high school experience is different - it wasn't as easy for him as it was for you

>>36832730
You should really work on getting that GED desu
Eventually you'll have to move out, might as well make it soon

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>>36832610
trying to post this pic, but cant think of original comment

>>36832960
You have a handsome face, if that is you

You ought to try out a different hairstyle though. Maybe it's just this one photo, but it doesn't seem to be working

If i were you, i would shave the beard and get a crew cut

>>36832960
You just need a proper haircut and you will look better, you also have very nice hands. Im a girl(female) and I would definitely check you out.

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>>36832960
That's not you but I'll be your friend anon

>>36832960
You look ok yeah, definitely wouldn't think you are high school dropout material

Honestly... just apply for jobs saying you graduated in a different state
nobody will ever look this up
nobody will ever care

or, even better - email a high school in another state asking for a "duplicate record" of your graduation from 17 years ago - do some research and find the name of some faggot who went to that high school around the same time you did, get that diploma, change your name, and live as him

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>>36832998
Yeah its really me, I usually look like shit in most of my pictures but a few of them like these two turned out pretty well i thought

These pics are from a year ago, i usually grow my hair out longer like I have it now and go to a barber shave it short and start the process again

eh i've never thought about getting a good haircut since it would be worthless because no one would ever want to be in a relationship with me anyway

for the record i'm pretty shy and not very talkative

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>>36833179
Apply for a job I dare you

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>on another board
>see someone from talk about how older women are sluts
>watch as he gets BTFO in an argument
Am I a failure for not helping him out?

>>36832538
it's okay bc I'm just like u

>>36833179
Shave the beard and get a short faded haircut. You should just work on your communication skills by interacting in public as often as you can. You aren't fucked in the looks department so that already gives you a leg up on most of the people here.

>dropped out of high school freshman year


1. fucking why
2. how were you not disowned

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>40
>virgin
>380lbs
>receding hair
>dropped out of school freshman year
>never had a job
>live with my 70 yo mother
>dad died when i was 16
>mom still cooks and cleans for me
>she tries her best to make every sunday fun for me by giving us stuff to do together
>calls it "son day sunday"
>she even has a song that she sings on that day to wake me up

When she dies i'll just kill myself. She has a ton of health problems, so it's not far off.

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>>36833257
I always thought I had a nice beard, always liked it too, people around me compliment me on it, saying how cool it looks

Are girls not into beards?

>>36833353
>>36832538
Get a job you fucking losers. If you are smart enough to make semi coherent post here then you are smart enough for a job.

>>36832538
If youre brain is so fried you cant even greentext properly then you ARE the biggest JUST on r9reddit

>>36833409
my resume is empty.
i left school over two decades ago and have done nothing since. nobody will hire me. plus my mom needs help with things.

>>36833384
Beards are okay on some people but I think you would look a lot better clean shaven. You really do have some nice hands btw, maybe hand model is a career option

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>23
>Dropped out of HS
>Worked a little, couldn't stand being around other people
>Parents keep nagging me about doing this and that.

The weird thing is how apathetic I am about life. Life to me is just one stress after another. How do I explain to people that I just want to be comfy? Money, relationships and status mean zip to me. I'm thinking of just being a vagabond.

>>36833467
Yea she needs help taking care of her overgrown manchild

>>36833498
Don't listen to this moron, with your receding hairline you should NOT shave your beard. You'll look like egg man. You beard looks great, keep it.

>>36833353

i refuse to believe this one

>>36833409
What if I mess up an order though? Idk how a register works

>>36833541
sometimes i wish it wasn't true too. but it is.

>>36833530
>Faggot numale detected

Anyone that doesn't have a penis between their legs thinks beards are disgusting.

>>36833207
>>36833409
My school who was trying to help me after i dropped out, was then aware of my deficiencies, they set me up with two jobs that I tried and i failed miserably

The first one i tried, all i had to do was sit in some little shop and place dog poop bags into a little purse, and i wasn't doing a good job and after 5 mins i couldn't take being there anymore, said i needed to use the bathroom and ran away and had my mom come get me

second one was working at the library, They had me reorganizing out of place books, and eventually I couldn't take it anymore and spent most of the job for the week just cheating and lounging on a nearby couch on the job until i got caught a few days or so later

>>36833611
When you're balding, a beard balances it out. You don't have to be some faggot numale to know this.

>>36833498
Wtf is with you and his hands, Jesus.

>>36833635
Damn you might literally have mental issues or something desu

What deficiencies do you have? You mean mainly social anxiety? Have you ever seen a phychiatrist?

Post discord you sound interesting

>>36833384
fuck man, you look like you have no life left in your eyes. The despair and hopelessness of your inevitable future has taken over the twinkle that used to represent your hope. Your hope that things will change, that time will be your ally and will benefit you as long as you keep chugging along through adversity. It's gone, it has succumbed to what your perceive as perpetual sadness.

Don't shave, that's for sure, but Jesus Christ, don't be so transparent with your despair. Fake confidence, be abrasive to an extent, be one with your convictions. You look like you will agree with everything that anyone would say just for the sake of a 3 second common bond.

You need confidence, which you clearly don't have, but fake it. Do something man.

>>36832538
i feel your pain
>29 y/o wagecuck, stuck in a dead end job
>live with parents
>unable to connect with girls
>impotent
>no hobbies, abilities or desire to do anything
life looks grimer everyday

>>36833674
I like hands and he has nice ones. It's the same thing as guys liking tits or feet.

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>>36832538
similar situation
i turned 20 last month, and I think I dropped out when I was 14, can't be sure cause everything's a blur.
I don't talk to anyone besides my older brother and mother

>>36833353
Man, this one hurt to read. I'm struggling with losing weight: I'm 19 5'9 and peaked at 185, after 2 weeks I'm down to 178. My goal is 125-130, which I was for most of my teens.

Anyway I can't imagine being 40 yrs old and 385 lbs. Good luck dude. I hope you make it somehow.

>>36833353
She will give you the house anon, so just keep doing what youre doing, pick up drinking, and die of liver failure at 55.

>>36833384
Are you 26? If so do you turn 27 this year?

You seem like a nice guy, I hope you get your life together.

>>36832538
>>suck ass or fail at vast majority of things i
>try to do
Funny how you fucked that line of greentext up
sorry

>>36833674
I keep lol'ing about that too, like shut up cunt, probably some Asian or Mexicsn roastie in awe of his white hands

>>36832538
daily reminder that if you have the ability to "comfortably" live with your parents as a neet then you don't actually have any substantial problems save a severe medical disorder

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Here is how i look recently with my hair grown out

>>36833713
Dude you have no fucking idea how much of a nightmare my life is right now, this brain damage is destroying me/sucking my soul out everyday i'm alive now, It feels extremely unreal, feels like a nightmare, I feel like i have the worst life of any person on earth right now

Everyday I feel like fucking rotten garbage, not exaggerating

But I am good at putting on a front and acting pretty normal in front of certain people, its just im pretty quiet and don't have much to say, unless we share very similar specific interests that i'm into

>>36832538
Hey, you have your mom. That's actually a start.

Good luck pal, you're not done yet. If all your problems are in your head, they're just as real and they suck just as much. But, you know you are able to do something about it.

>>36833935
and it just makes me feel worse a lot of the time when I give into my negative energy and start talking about and thinking about how garbage my life is and how i want to die so badly etc. So i try to ignore it

>>36832960
Jesus Christ, your face says it all

>>36833935
How is your brain damaged? What happened to it?

>>36833925
>your situation is good except for a self-sustaining and self-potentiating aspect that makes life both impossible to enjoy, despite situation, and incredibly difficult to improve so you should stop complaining
Really made me think for a moment
Neck yourself normie

>>36833924
If you know any females besides your disappointed mother ask them about men's hands. It's one of the first things any woman notices on a guy.

>>36833821
thank you friend. it's over for me though. at least it's sunday. got a feeling that mom is gonna order us in some mcdonald's. i'll smile whilst i eat my food as it makes her happy which is all that matters to me.

>>36833857
but she's all i have and the only person i've ever really loved. once she's dead my life loses it's purpose. i'd rather be with her in heaven.

>>36833708
What is discord a chat program?

Yeah I was with a psychiatrist and therapist for a long time when I was taking prescription drugs, stopped taking them 5 years because i was terrified of getting more brain damage

My brain is just all around fucked it would take too long to list how many issues are wrong with my brain, but there is a hell of a lot wrong with it

>>36833935
Im glad to hear that man, I really am - In terms of your success of assimilating. However, you HAVE to put yourself out there.. I have an irrational fear of failure and hate the sense of shame that being rejecting causes, but fuck.. You can't hit the ball if you don't swing the bat.

Be confident in your failures, because trying and failing is much better than being in a constant sate of "what if" - it's a false, unsubstantiated reality sense you have never tried and automatically fortune tell every outcome before it happens.

One of my favorite quotes is something along the lines of "Fear of failure has prevented more success than failure itself"

Don't expect anything to change if you change nothing about your approach.

>>36834064
Yeah discord is a instant messager (IM) program

make an account desu

>>36834064
List your diagnosis/brain problems. Really curious now if these are real issues or issues you've made up to avoid life.

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>>36834067
>I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

it pleases me to no end that this comment was unoriginal without postscript

>>36834004
see
>>36832835
My brain was already extremely disfunctional and dissapointing ever since i was born, and i was already suicidal before it happened, and now I can't believe this fucking brain damage happened to me and made it A LOT worse than it already was

>>36834165
I guess I don't understand if this is cynical or not, but this mindset helped me.

>>36834047
lol you funny old roastie, I've known more girls intimately in my 19 years than you've known you're entire life, and yeah *some* have gone about my hands (or eyes or hair or nose or other body part *winks*) but that doesn't mean this guy's hands (or mine for that matter) are anything special

I've been hit on by gay guys that are way better looking than any that have ever been I tersted in you, I'm fairly positive of this.

I'm doing badly in school so my Mom's a teensy bit disappointed in her lad, I'll grant you that, you worthless cumdumpster.

Well it takes me a while to really think about everything wrong with me, i can't just remember like all 30 things wrong with my brain in one second, I can probably think of a lot of my issues, gonna need some time for it to come to me though


But I'm the real deal, I don't lie or delude myself I really have tried a lot of this shit, and test myself everyday in small ways and reaffirm my extreme limits/capabilities

If I was just bullshitting myself and I was capable of getting myself out of this rut, I would be able to admit it, but I'm 100% certain about this

>>36834258
meant for .... , comment not original
>>36834086

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>>36834193
it is a quote dear to my heart as i am a huge fan of classic science fiction and have plowed through the original Dune series 4 times; admire many traits of the Bene Gesserit from the series

i believe that re-mentalization and visualization helped me eliminate many of my depressive and maladaptive symptoms. begin to see any mental aberrations as a sort of invasion from elsewhere; NOT a part of you to "live with" or anything like that. you're the fucking sovereign of your own mind, not anything else or any other entity. gotta treat any unsavory habits, patterns, symptoms, w/e as an enemy to be defeated, originating from elsewhere.

leastways, thats the best way I can phrase it at bumfuck 3rd shift hours. i am also somewhat superstitious and often use this mantra with a rosary some nice old catholic gave me on campus one day. she had a real nice mother theresa shtick going and she made me grin, so its sentimental

often harnessing your own irrational tendencies as a human being to achieve an effect (even if it would be classified as placebo) using small rituals or things like that is useful

>>36834083
>>36833708
k my username is Begundrip

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>>36834371
also include the numbers

begumdrip#2717

should look like that

>>36834397
Begundrip#4161

>>36834227
We're you trying to insult me with this mess of a post? Is it difficult to lie and sound edgy at the same time? Is "tersted"
supposed to be funny or are you retarded? I'm going with the latter

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>>36834227
LOL, so edgy anon

>>36833511
>Money, relationships and status mean zip to me
this feel I understand

and about me getting a haircut, I feel like I'm pretty limited in which ways i can style my hair, since I have always had a pretty big forehead certain hairstyles like putting it up or slicking it back wouldn't work because my forehead would look super huge and distracting

>>36834397
did you send an invite yet? I didn't receive anything

>>36834461
>*interested
couldn't you tell that from the sentence, stupid?

you don't have to believe me at all, idc

I feel like playing Sherlock Holmes. I think you are
>over 25 yrs old
>fat
>own a cat
>have at least one tattoo
>have no bf
>have sent nudes
>are "artistic" in some way, possibly writing, drawing/painting, probably *not* a musical instrument as that would require more discipline than you're capable of
>you're not very talented/successful at the above
>have been or are currently a slut, but something tells me you're taking a break from being a worthless cum swallower

Now tell me skank, how many did I get right?

>>36834350
You get it man, you fucking get it. I agree 100%. The problem is that people like me (you and i) tend to focus on the negatives and negate the positives, while catasrophizing said negatives they quickly drown the positives out making everything feel worthless or unappreciated.

You are the maker of your own mindset and surroundings, whether you like it or not. There is no pre determined hate or malice towards you or your life. Sure, certain mental conditions muddy those waters but lets navigate way from those for the sake of conversation.

You're a smart guy, have great things to say and I can guarantee you there is someone looking for that in a partner. The best hitters in baseball go 3 for 10 in at bats and make the hall of fame. Meanwhile, someone like me used to assume 0-10 odds and never even try.

"Why swing the bat if you know the result??"

This fortune telling or perceived assumption of results is so fucking detrimental.

>>36834511
how was I being edgy? sumtimes I rly don't understand u anons

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>>36834657
Jesus, you have to be one of the most retarded people I've ever seen post here.

>>36834744
it's funny, but if you knew my life you'd know how incredibly ironic you were being, but again, think what you want, idc

>it's easy to call someone names, far less easy to explain, I'm pretty sure you're reasoning skills won't allow you to get past "just because!" and that's ok, I'm glad I'm not you :)))

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>>36834645
Fukken a, lad. Does the heart a bit of good to hear that we're in agreement.

If I had to hazard a guess right quick I'd reckon that you've come to a bit of grips with the nuances and machinations of your own noggin within the past few years, eh? Bit of a shame that I have done some """growing up""" a bit late, but the only shame worth continuously feeling is for purposes of drive and motivation.

Speaking of drive and motivation, my greatest and often only cardinal sin is that of Sloth. I've got to murder that one within my own mind and heart within good time, I feel.

I'm just some random cunt that saw a bunch of shit said about fear and put words to screen about it, but I appreciate you m8. I am currently expending perhaps needless effort with a couple girls I know; damn sure at least one of them. I need someone who can listen to me lecture in a moderate southern drawl on myriad topics and who'll do the same while I listen, maybe. Need someone to be with that'll fucking exude "goodness of fit" for me when we're out with my friends, like someone that'll cause even envious comments.

But hell man, I have become rather comfortable with myself and while it sucks that I am not currently laying the pipe, I've got some things to work towards in order to realize the more realistic dreams and fantasies that I have consigned myself to.

after all i find it unlikely that i will ever occupy a billet of ship's or station's counselor among the stars lmao

cheers m8, and i mean it

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>>36834814
Do you have a head injury?

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OP here again
In the last few feeks i've been interested in possibly trying like a one night stand-booty call site to have sex with a chick for the first time

I've always wanted to do it and have always had a high sex drive, but never imagined it being possible

Do you think I could get with a decent looking chick despite the fact I'm not talkative and live with parents?

Maybe if i drove to her house

I may be selling myself short here a little, I'm not a complete autist all the time, at least not when i'm faking that i'm normal

most people wouldn't know about my mental issues if they just casually met me

Or should i ask /soc/ about this?

>>36834855
Um, no? Is this really the best you can do?

Cum on anon, try. Pepe is sooo dated, what is this 2015?

>>36832538
>extremely brain damaged
As in you've literally got brain damage / serious mental illness or you're just a lazy sperg?

>>36834889
Yes, this shouldn't be a problem for someone that looks as good as you.

>>36834889
Dude just take a picture of your hands and make a nice large glossy print and use that as your calling card, there's at least one used up old roastie in this thread that's *very* interested.

>>36832538
You have family so no.

you've been a neet for ~11 years?

Why the fuck would your parents just let you drop out so young?

>>36834926
Oh look there she is, hey roastie, nice timing!

>>36832538
Sounds like you just described me anon.

>>36834926
Are you female? Can any girls attest to this?

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>>36834909
I'm not trying to insult you, I'm genuinely curious. Your post imply some sort of mental impairments.

>>36834943
>>36834969
This guy is jealous of OP.

>>36834989
Dude you're a balding old-looking-at-26 blah-faced fuck up with extraordinarily beautiful hands, just wave them in front and old-roastie-panties will be gushing with excitement (I would personally rather not be around for that, but I'm not you) try coffee shops and non-whites, take my advice old man.

>>36835088
> This guy is extremely jealous of OP.

Why don't you post a picture of yourself?

>>36835045
If you *really* think that than this post >>36835088
is gonna really,p convince you, oh gosh, you're so right, I'm so totally jealous, see you aren't as stupid as you seem, or are you?

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>>36833353
There is no way this can be possible...If so please post pick of you and your mom

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>>36835118
Hahahaha this ugly guy is seething right now. He can't even type he's so butthurt.

Good job OP, you made some robot upset that you are better looking than him. Even if you think you're a loser you are still the winner in this thread.

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>>36835114
I can no longer tell who the roastie is (are?) and if there are roastie orbiters or anything. Nice of the roastie to never respond to my Sherlock Holmes post (to which I would add >loves coffee and >us non-white to the list) but this *is* an anonymous board, and there is /soc/ for ratings and stuff, and I genuinely don't care if anyone believes me, anyone I'm gonna bail now, maybe :D

it's been fun, for me at least

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I never knew I had such good hands lol, interesting

>>36835176

I'm not upset but on my iPad and having a drink, see:

>>36835190

omg, this hilarious

>>36832835

my doctor also prescribed me mirtazapine, i took it once too many.
its a terrible pill, felt like a zombie the entire day afterwards.
i dont even want to think what would've happen if i continued

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>>36833353
This one made me cry. I don't care if I'm being trolled.

You would do well in Old School Runescape

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>>36835190
> anyone I'm gonna bail now, maybe :D

Okay.

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>>36835242
thanks old person, I'm glad you approve

>>36835224
>felt like a zombie the entire day afterwards
Same with me i took it at the very lowest dose and it just hit me like a truck had to go sleep right away then i would wake up the next day and be extremely tired, went back to bed again shortly after


I really wish i could have told my younger self to never fuck around with prescription medication, they can be very dangerous

This medicine ruined my life

>>36835011
how exactly? look don't bother, I just thought it would make you feel good that I saw your post, k? I'm gonna trundle off now, kinda sleepy.

>Studied IT in college
>Made friends with other loner robot guy in my class during second year
>He copies most of my work for the rest of the duration of the course - not the brightest guy but i'm ok with it as he's the only real friend I got in class
>Become best friends - my only real friend for years
>Both working shitty part time retail jobs
>He starts a Youtube channel with another one of his family members
>Never really pay attention to it as the channel is typical youtube cancer garbage
>College course finishes few years later and his Youtube channel has sky rocketed in popularity in the mean time
>Quits his shitty retail job
>His YT channel now has 1mill+ subscribers
>He tells me he's earning around $25k per month (which is true - well over 100k views per video daily)
>Moves out of his parents house into nice apartment in the city, buys nice brand new car
>Gets to a point where he only works on his videos 1 day a week, rest of the time he just plays vidya and hang out around town all day
>He gets qt gf he met on tinder, tells me how he lost his v-card and continues to talk about the kinky sex stuff they get up to regularly
>I'm still a virgin
>I get really tired and depressed still working retail and quit while he is literally living the dream life
>Fall into deep depression
>He eventually stops playing vidya with me as he has become a normie
>Slowly lose contact till we it just totally falls apart and we dont speak anymore
>I'm NEET for 1.5 years at this point still living at home with no friends or GF (still a virgin too)
>Barely ever leave the house

It's soul crushing how someone who once copied my work in college has earned more money now than I will ever make in my entire life. We used to be robots together. Now i'm on my own again.

>>36835300
why didn't you stop then?
i'd rather not sleep than to be on this shit.
i just hope i didn't fuck something up by taking it once

>>36835385
I only took it twice, I don't remember all the details about how it happened and what i was thinking but I'm sure if i knew it damaged my brain i wouldn't have taken that second pill the next day

>>36835385
actually i remember a little more about it, I took those 2 mirtazapines then stopped but my sleep was and still is extremely disfunctional so i went back to psychiatrist and he gave me another similar drug called trazadone that i had used before in which it didn't have any bad effects on me but when i started taking it this a few days after the mirtazapine it had another disastrous-effect turning me into a zombie again just like what happened with the mirtazapine

>>36835545
my new doctor said that the one who gave me the mirtazapine is "insane and shouldn't be a doctor"

this is one of the worst drugs out there, now im taking zolpidem once a week or so (when i need to go to sleep very early) and its not that bad

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>>36834926
You're a girl right? I'd like to get a female's opinion on this

or any other femanons around?

>>36835695
im a femanon, hello

>tfw your father calls you into the room to 'have a talk'
>tfw he orders you to take a shower today because you stink
Not the first time it's happened, but it's always humiliating.

>>36833935
Short hair is DEFINITELY the better look on you.

>>36835711
Hi i was just looking for a female opinion on my post i made earlier in the thread here
>>36834889

>>36835854
i'd suggest ask /soc, but you could always create a tinder account or some other form of online to irl dating

>>36835340
>ruining your own life because some guy you were friends with became successful

You deserve it, you weak shit.

>>36835121
i have no webcam and no phone. sorry.
i wouldn't post my mom's pic on here anyway. that would be mean.

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>>36833674
It'll be fun, you know, you and me... pallin' around... gettin nuts! Goin' crazy....

>>36835340
Link the channel anon.