What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever experienced?

>In before being born

>Ironically

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>7th grade
>On camping trip with class
>Camp site is near a beach so one of the activities is surfing
>Poor kid so I ate a shit tonne of the food they gave us for breakfast since it was free
>Barely manage to squeeze into wetsuit because stomach is so full
>Having fun surfing when another student's surfboard collides with my stomach
>Stomach starts burning and I suddenly need to shit
>Stumble to shore clutching my stomach and lie down on stomach
>Swim instructor sees me and realizes I'm hurt
>I feel my stomach straining and the shit starts coming out
>Try to squeeze asshole shut but half liquid shit starts streaming out
>Wet suit keeps it from leaking out and the shit tsunami fills my entire suit
>Swim instructor runs over to take off my wetsuit
>I try to wave him off but I'm still winded and can't talk
>Swim instructor unzips back of wetsuit and gags as a stream of shit erupts out over my back and neck
>He throws up beside me and I start to cry as the shit forms a viking shit eagle across my back, waist and over my shoulders
>No one dares comes near me so I eventually roll into the shallows and try to wash myself as best I can while trying to peel the shit suit off of me

The school ended up having to pay for the damage to the wetsuit. No one made fun of me though which was pretty decent of them. I guess they were as embarrassed for me as I was for myself.

>penis slipped out of swimming shorts in school
>girls noticed and laughed

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>>36742865
Gave me a good laugh, thanks OP

>be kid swimming in public pool
>t h i c c
>in an inner tube
>decide to flip it and dive under
>do just that
>wait where'd my shorts go
>grab them from the floatie and wrestle them back on underwater and hope nobody noticed

>>36742896
Did they laugh at the size? How big are you?

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>be 11-12
>have huge crush on girl in my neighbourhood
>she gets a paper route
>askes if I wanted to help her deliver papers
>say yes in hopes of impressing her
>we go out delivering the papers
>all of a sudden I have to shit really bad
>ignore it
>5 minutes later have explosive diarrhea in my pants
>she smells it
>tell her it's just a fart and that I have to go home
>start walking home leaving a trail of liquid shit behind me
>I look back to see the horrified face of my first ever childhood crush

The neighborhood kids called me exlax for several years. Still think about it today and have an irrational fear of pooping in a public washroom or anywhere outside of me home.

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>>36742843
>be me
>go to public pool with a couple of friends
>time to go, need to change clothes
>way too much crowd in front of the changing rooms
>decide with friends that we hold towels in front of each other
>my turn
>get ass naked
>friend decides to pull a prank on me
>removes towel
>fuck.jpeg
>try to cover my self
>literally on the side of a pool ass naked
I think some people noticed.

>>36742843
my entire life
originalalal

>>36742865
Jesus Christ.
I hope I can never experience a situation as awful as that.

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>In 7th grade
>Shy kid and hadn't had to make friends since primary school
>Knew literally no one at this new school
>Spend literally the entire year without talking to anyone in the class at all
>Last day of the year
>Figure I should try and at least make friends before the year is out
>Just before the bell rings I ask the teacher if I can make an announcement
>"Uh, sure anon" he says
>He's surprised. I've never spoken up in class before
>I stand in front of the class
>"Over the past year I've come to see you all as my friends"
>Other students looks confused. I hadn't had anything resembling conversation with any of them. What the fuck was I talking about?
>My voice breaks
>"S-so I was thinking if you guys wanted to hang out and stuff over the holidays then just w-write your mobile number on this piece of paper and we can all hang out and stuff"
>Bell rings just as I finish and classroom shuffles out while avoiding eye contact with me
>I stand in the class with the blank sheet of paper as the teacher sits there shaking his head sadly before telling me to go home
Unironically considered suicide that summer to be honest

>cried after chick said she wasn't down for sum fuq.

>farted in hotbox with cuties and everyone knew

>8th grade finals basketball game. Get tilted because i was getting called out to sit. Nig father sees I am tilted , pulls metal chair as I sit. Everyone loses their shit. Physically red from rage. Had to go to bathroom to relax.
Teammate still brings it up

Probably another dozen things but ehhh just off the top of my head.

I got my pants and undies pulled down in front of whole school at recess in 8th grade

Everyone saw my little dick and fat ass

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Too many stories but 2 most embarasing are:
> be grade 9
> eat boogers in class
> 2 dudes notice
> after class they gather round classmates
> everybody laughs
> idk why since no idea
> one of them calls me in and asks a question in front of everyone why I eat boogers
> I think it is a joke
> I am silent for a bit because I do not remember doing it
> one of them starts telling in detail how it happened
> ohshitiremember.jpeg
> instantly turn around and go away
> they make fun of me for this for two years. Thank god it wasn't recorded on phone
> in dressroom one of chads starts belittling me and telling everyone how he saw me eat boogers
> i tell him he didn't see shit since he just heard it from those 2 dudes
> I start running my mouth
> get beaten
> be grade 10
> more than half of pupil gone, we have new classmates
> with class on a trip and stay a night in some random out of town school
> we are sleeping
> hear one of the remaining original two dudes try to hit on our new classmate girl
> he whispers 'pssst, anon eats boogers'
> she responds 'maybe he is malnourished and hungry'
> they both giggle

Cont.

>elementary school, 6/7 at the time
>have to take a shit really badly
>i have some bowel problems so I shit more than usually
>parents explained this to teacher, but I know she is an irrational screaming hysterical cretin
>ask if I can use the loo
>as expected she says no
>tell her I might shit my pants
>she either missheard it or heard what she wanted to hear
>she yells: "DID YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS!? THAT'S DISGUSTING!"
>class responds with sounds of disgust
>just run out of class without loo permission


>run into her when I'm 15
>she asks me how I'm doing and how school is going
>tell her I hope she gets cancer and dies

This woman ruined a large part of my educational carreers, I was always scared to ask questions after this incident.

>>36743087
She didn't use the word shit for the record, she said "DID YOU POOP IN YOUR PANTS AGAIN!?" I don't know why she used the word again.

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>Grade 10
>English class
>Teacher asks random anons questions
>She gets to me
>I open my mouth to answer but for some reason start choking up
>To this day I still don't know why but I almost start to cry
>Instead of switching to another student teacher gets annoyed
>"Speak up anon. Don't cry, it's just a question"
>Wasn't crying at this point but the second she implies I was I start getting embarrassed and actually start crying
>Still don't know what the fuck I'm so upset about
>Teacher stands there waiting for several painful moments where the entire room is quiet except for the sound of my sobs
>"Ooooookay lets just ask someone else since anon clearly doesn't want to learn"
>Friend sitting next to me scoots closer and angles his seat to hide my tears from the other students
>Get over it in a few days and run into teacher the week after
>"Anon why didn't you just say something? I didn't embarrass you did I?"

I swore I was going to kill the cunt. She knew exactly what she was doing.

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>>36743081
Cont. Story 2

> grade 10
> have a crush on one of new classmates
> I think she hasnt heard the boogers story
> afraid to hit on her
> 2 years pass. Some other classmate has feelings for her. Everyone knows this but noone knows that I do too
> be on a party with sleepover. Last school day
> drinking beer and bbq. I am in a cap hat all day since there is lot of sun. I wear it till late evening though
> party ends, we sleep
> I sleep on the floor, that guy sleeps with my crush in a bed like 3 feet away from me
> In the middle if the night I hear them make out and chuckle
> out of fucking nowhere that dude starts making fun out of me and whispers her " anon wears a cap because he has lice"
> she is so amused that she barely contains laughter
> I stay as silent as possible
> A tear drips from my eye

This board
Originini

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>>36742843
existence in general is very unbecoming

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>6th grade
>health class
>think girls are guys without balls
>teacher asks us what the name of the female reproductive system is
>smart kid awnsers
>vagina
>raise my hand thinking i have a great joke ready
>why do they call it a vagina if its just a penis without balls
>everyone laughs at me and not with me
>teacher explains
I'm a fag now.

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>first day of school
>potty break after first class
>in the boy's line as they let three in at a time
>taking a piss near another boy
>look at his dick
>for some reason reach over and yank it as hard as I could
>boy absolutely confused dumbstruck and enraged tries to cover himself
>tries to hit me at the same time
>he slips and his pants fall down with him
>screams for the teacher
>teacher comes in
>tells the teacher what I did
>brought to the principal's office
>parents had to sort out the whole ordeal as "they were just playing"
autism is one hell of a condition lads

a month ago i puked in this uber guys car. felt really bad and embarrassed so i gave him like 20 bucks. not the most embarrassing but recent

>>36743402

Classic.

In my 6th grade health class for some reason we went in depth on General Adaption Syndrome which is basically a stupid name for a fight or flight response. The book and teacher constantly referred to it as just GAS which led to a lot of funny sentences in the book like "when Stan saw his crush he develops GAS". She made us all take turns reading aloud from the book and I couldn't read it because of how funny I thought this was.

>>36742855
wtf its inb4** hah lol newfag alert

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>lost both legs in a car crash
>couple years later, walking through crowded mall with a flatscreen tv
>suddenly both of my fake legs break at the same time for no reason
>me and tv on the ground
>people staring at they walk past, nobody helps
>end up crawling on my knees to get out
>left the tv

>>36743866
I laughed so hard at this. My god it brings embarrassment to a whole new level.

>>36743167
At least your mate saved you, what a good bloke

>>36743167
is you two still friends?

>>36742896
I WAS ORIGINALLY IN THE POOL

>>36743490
This isnt autism this is being a closetfag.

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Lads you're in for a treasure trove

>be me, 6 or some shit
>watched too much Star Wars
>wrote fucking Anon Wars, named after myself
>I was basically Brave and the Bold Aquaman
>all my mates were characterised as cucks
>I continued writing it until I was like 8

>be me, 9 iirc
>crushing on this girl
>she gets plates and her voice sounds different
>I go over to her in front of her friends and say "your voice changes a lot, I can change mine too"
>think fast, do Yoda voice
>"Green your underwear is"

>10 or 11 I really don't know
>graduating primary
>get mum to make lil business card things to give friends to stay in contact
>give them to everyone except crush from before
>luckily catholic school so we had to come back for mass at night
>mass ends
>go outside
>her and I standing alone in a clearing between two palm trees
>full moon
>basically as romantic and climactic as it could've gotten
>give her the card and start talking
>get interrupted as her friend takes the card and interrupts me saying "thanks"
>brain shuts down for a sec
>grab another card from my pocket and give it to her
>cockblock of the millennium
>tfw crush completely forgot me afterwards but I see her friend every now and then and she recognises me and permanently has this look of "bitch I'm gonna fuck you up"

>be me, idk anymore
>retarded as fuck
>no mates
>everyone would actually chant "you got no mates"
>they even fucking made a Wikipedia page dedicated to "You Got No Mates, an upcoming film starring Anon"
>hanging around with a Chad with a heart of gold because he looked vaguely like one of my old friends
>he's talking to some girls he used to know
>Autismo here goes "why does nobody talk to meeeeeeee"
>she laughs
>love at first sight
>except that shit didn't follow through
>the real embarrassment is I took so long to tell her my feelings I'd already been cucked by some other dude
>I swear they fuck all the time
>doesn't matter now
>i have gf

>>36743866
IM TRYING TO NOT LAUGH OHMY GOD

>>36743866
Hah, that's kinda sad. Hope you get better anon.

>>36743866
Please tell me this isn't true because I feel so bad for laughing. Post pic of your fake legs as proof. I'm sorry.

>>36743054
Sheeeeiiiiiiiit
Why would you do that, son?

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On phone so I have to hurry. Ill never forget this.In 1st grade i had to use the bathroom really bad. Old teacher would not let me go. I get up and walk out. I come back and sit in my seat. Turns out some kid peed on my chair and i sat in it. Everyone laughed at me. I was covered all the way up to my arms. The teacher came over and saw me covered in the golden substance. She picked me out of the seat and put me in the middle of the room and started hitting me with a newspaper over the head. I curl up and start to cry. Just recently a kid from that school saw me in public after 20 years and he still remembered as well. He then told my freinds and now they bring it up everyday. Help.

>>36743081
>eating snot

I literally gagged, thanks anon

>>36744161
It has a nice crispy texture. What's wrong with eating organic yummies from your nose?

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>in english class freshman year
>teacher puts on some 9/11 movie
>he says watch or don't he doesnt care
>everyone scoots their desks next to each other so they can talk and shit
>me and bro scoot
>we're discussing dumb shit and laughing at each others doodles
>friend slides over a tiny folded up piece of paper
>unfolding it what seems like forever
>"flip me"
>flip the paper over
>"bush did 9/11"
>mfw
>trying to contain our laughter
>I'm on the verge of tears
>excuse me, anon what is so funny
>look up and see the whole class staring
>movie is showing people jumping out of the twin towers
>can't stop giggling
>n-nothing sir, I just remembered a really funny joke.
>everyone in that class treated me like a monster for the rest of the year

>>36744149
I am so sorry Anon

Also not embarrassing but shortly after my 12 year old brother learnt I have a gf he learned how to tie a noose.

>>36743866
I don't see how a disabled person being disabled is embarrassing.
That would be like Steven Hawking thinking "oh shit oh shit everyone's looking at my weird protruding jaw drooling over my suit jacket they probably all think I'm so retarded!"
No one cares dude.

A lot of people shat themselves here.
I shat myself at school once, no one noticed, I just told my teacher I felt sick and went home.
I have IBS now or some shit, so I'm on the verge of shitting my pants regularly but I have a super tight butthole and I keep it together.

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>summer camp
>fatty talking about shit
>says he sleeps with his mom
>no shame
>"the beds comfier"
>ridiculed for rest of days

Why the fuck would you just let that out

>>36744189
His fucking legs snapped and he had to crawl out of a mall, how is that not embarrassing? I'd never go outside again if that happened to me

>6th grade
>in private US school
>not American myself
>we get a 2 hour lesson on the civil rights movement and Martin Luther King
>The teacher shows a video of the whole speech
>1 hour in, I'm so fucking bored I just turn to my friend and ask "so, when does he get his face blown off?"
>everybody heard me
>they all look at me like I'm some murderous madman
>s-s-sorry but it's not like this dude is a big deal, my country was never that fucking backwards
>I already knew about the civil rights movement anyway
>everyone keeps looking at me in silence and the teacher kicks me out

There wasn't even a single black student in the WHOLE school. Fucking SJWs.

>>36744247
>how is that not embarrassing?
Because he's disabled. It induces sympathy, empathy, sadness in people, not mocking scorn.

>>36744272
Fucking racists. I hate you

>>36744340
That doesn't make it not embarrassing though? And people clearly weren't very sympathetic when they walked past a guy with no legs on the ground

>>36743081
My english teacher used to save boogers in his pocket and eat them in class. I hope he die soon.

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>>36744111
> they even fucking made a Wikipedia page dedicated to "You Got No Mates, an upcoming film starring Anon"
Savage

>>36744506
I does frighten people, they don't really know what to do.
But embarrassment usually stems from doing something that someone in your position should be capable of avoiding.
It's embarrassing when a grown man shits himself, but not when a child shits himself, it's embarrassing when a non-disabled person falls over, but not when a man with no fucking legs does.

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>>36742968
>The neighborhood kids called me exlax for several years
holy fuck

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>>36742865
I'm so sorry that happened to you anon
Also TOP FUCKING KEK!!!

>>36744568
It's not fucking funny reeeeeeeeeeee e

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>>36744118
>Hope you get better anon
Yeah I'm sure it's just a matter of time before his legs grow back

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>>36743054
Probably not the best idea, did you really think that would work anon?

>>36744734
>grow back
topkek

>>36744343
I'm not racist, my country is just completely beyond the race thing. If anything it's racist to subject me to a speech about niggers that I already know about, especially when the teacher isn't American herself, and 90% of the students aren't either, and none of them are concerned with the "issue".

>>36744795
>I'm not racist
Racist detected.

>>36743169
Why havent you got up and confronted them?
Even if you get beaten up by Chad Cuckface,you could have given him a whack to the head.
Even as much of a pussy as i am,i would still get up and fucking go nigger mode on him,even if it costs me a fucking rib or two.

>>36744182
Damn, you should've been more specific anon!

>>36743758
>newfag alert
Thats what a newfag would say,you brainless fucking faggot.

>>36742843
>friend of mine decided to go out to a bar
>i went with him and it was all good until our 5/6th drink in
>hes usually a mega auti but whenh he drinks hes pretty relaxed
>he sees this girl hes been crushing on
>decides to try it with her
>he goes "hey anon, watch this"
>strolls over to her at the bar
>pours his drink down her tits
>i think he was actuaslly planning something but then he remembered that he was an auti and froze up and ended up getting slapped and removed from the bar
>it was like watching a train crash in slow motion

>>36744826
Because I am a pussy beta. Otherwise I wouldn't be on this board.

Also that Chad benchpressed 3times more than I did.

>>36744809
>nigger detected
Why so butthurt Tyrone? Laqueesha cheated on you?

>farted loudly in my year 2 class
>everyone including teacher laughed

This story is almost 20 years old now and I haven't passed wind in public since, unless I can do a stealthy outside or something with no one around for many metres.

Needless to say, considering I divide my time pretty much completely between work and university, and I'm usually stuck inside buildings for up to 12 hours a day, I have a lot of abdominal pain.

I'm also lactose intolerant (but I can eat cheese?) so that's an extra fun thing for my bowels to deal with.

>>36744918
>actually using the n word
Please leave my board

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>>36744111
>they even fucking made a Wikipedia page dedicated to "You Got No Mates, an upcoming film starring Anon"

Extra Large Keks

>>36744343
>>36744809
>>36744953
Shit-tier effortless bait.
Leave my board,you beta cuck SJW trash!

>>36744982
>b-beta!
>c-cuck
Lmao nice projection

>>36744925
Made the same mistake but mine was in a summer camp and I was about 7. Never made that mistake EVER again.

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>>36743054
That's so sad anon. Serious. Feels bad for you. At least you tried

>>36744161
Literally fuck off normie. If that repulses you you're a fucking gimp

>>36744111
>they even fucking made a Wikipedia page dedicated to "You Got No Mates, an upcoming film starring Anon"

Damn, UK anon or Australia? The bantz from that bullying is unreal

>>36742865
Fuck ive done some pretty retarted shit in my short life so far

>be me
>be 16
>3 day school camp
>sharing a tent with best friend
>thisisgoingtobethebestcampever jpg
>we get given Trangias which is a portable stove pot pan thing to cook our meals over the 3day period
>day 1 we treck through the jungle for a couple hours to a remote beach
>all the guys brought fishing rods
>fishing and generally just having a great time with everyone
>something tugging my rod
>pull up a small fish
>fuck yes
>nobody else catches anything while were there
>get back to camp
>everyones cooking
>decide to cook the fish
>me and my friend do the best job we can on gutting and deboning it
>really fuck it up but it doesnt matter
>fry fish in trangia
>tastes meh but hey i caught it so i was quie happy with it
>all good so far everyone gathers around camp fire teacher brings out marshmallows everything is swell
>9pm lights out every to bed

cont

>>36745648
>as i lie in bed i can just feel the faintest tummy ache but nothing major
>eventually drift off to a deep sleep despite it
>thefuckisthat jpg
>wake up in the middle of the night with seriously bad stomach ache
>stomach is basically having tremors
>oh fuck no
>i can feel it
>i need to shit bad
>i need to get out of this tent and shit NOW
>fumbling trying to open the tent
>no
>its too late
>I cant hold on
>massive fucking stream of hot liquid shit shoots out my ass into my pants
>its so liquidy its pretty much silent and deosnt wake my friend up
>it has the most putrid nastiest smell ever.
>sit there for what feels like a few moments in my own liquid shit
>starting to get suffocating in the tent
>i need to clean myself up
>get out of the tent leaving small gloops of liquid shit in the tent as i get up
>take my pants off and get completely naked
>put them in a plastic bag and hurl them into nearby bushes
>get my water bottle and wash my crack with it
>realise im running around my school campsite with my entire class, completely naked and with liquid shit remnants on my ass
>if anybody woke up i would be ruined forever.
>thankfully no one did, managed to get changed clean, wipe up shit in tent, then go to sleep
>wake up next day and everyone was none the wiser not even my friend sleeping right next to me
>that fish fucked my stomach up for the rest of the camp the next night i had to sneek off and let out a torrent of liquid shit in the nearby bushes and by nearby, i mean these bushes where literally 10m from everyones tent
>rest of the camp was great though

>school acquaintance is a huge dickhead charming prankster
>has a can of fart spray, literally says that on the can
>i'm fucking around in gym, shooting baskets and lifting
>fucker sneaks up on me while I'm doing bench presses and hoses me down with this shit
>it smells like rotten garbage and skunk shit
>he flees, laughing hysterically the whole way, screaming ANON SHIT HIS PANTS ANON SHIT HIS PANTS HE TRIED TO LIFT TOO MUCH
>come down, red face, furious, stinking like shit so bad everyone puts on their most disgusted face and turn away while I head down to the locker room to spend the rest of the period sitting in the shower corner

Got him back in auto-shop though. He was running around slapping people in the back of the head and running off. He saved me for last so I knew what was coming. Little fucker hits me, but i turn fully and catch him in a bear hug, he's not going anywhere. I flip him up onto his side, and princess carry this little shit to the communal sink, drop his ass in there, hold him down and use the foot pump thingy to soak this asshole, much to the delight of everybody.


>be like 12
>like to play with my ass a lot
>have a folding chair that I use regularly to fuck myself
>doll myself up because nobody's home(lol)
>feeling sexy, going rough style on my upturned booty while I fuck this metallic dick
>so deep it hurts my guts, keep logjamming my pre-teen butt
>making noise, moaning, not even trying to be modest
>mom busts through the door, thinking i'm dying or something, nah, just gettin' fucked mama~
>stares in horror for at least a minute, dumbfounded and confused
>be looking her in the eyes, horrified, blowing a fat load on my comforter while my mom wears the most disgusted looking face i've ever seen
>she sleeps for like a week, not getting up, not eating, not doing anything

Tried to fuck our family dogs a couple times too, but they were only embarassing because it was a complete failure on my part.

>>36745661
another one

>be 13
>in the car with my dad
>its 8:30pm but my dad needs to swing by his work to pick some stuff up and because its the long weekend there is some staff function thing going on there
>basically just free catered sandwhiches and tea
>decide to come in with my dad because he says i can have some of the free food
>follow my dad to get his stuff and then we go to the staff area where the food and stuff is at
>dad says hi to his workmates and starts chatting
>his workmates are sitting on plastic chairs in a chair circle
>theres a spare chair in the circle so i decide to sit down to and listen in
>i know a lot of my dads workmates so its not too weird
>get comfy in the chair and decide spread my legs a little in a position feminists these days would call 'man spreading'
>tfw i didnt hear my pants rip
>tfw im not wearing underwear
>tfw my 13 year old soft flacid cock flops onto the chair
>i had no idea, but i realised people in the circle where starting to give me dirty looks
>why are the looking at me like that? maybe its because im a kid and they dont want me in the adult circle?
>look down at my crotch
>see my dick just flopping there in the chair
>fugg
>immediatley cross my legs
>notice a few of my dads coworkers trying to hold in laughs
>pretty much all of them saw my cock
>my dad has no clue hes too busy in conversation
>eventually leave and i make sure i never go there again

>>36745787
this is one of the most retarted things ive done

>be 15
>start up a lawn mowing business during the school holidays
>get a few jobs and make some decent money
>old lady a few streets down asks me to mow her lawn and do some extra weeding
>go to her house with my mower and weeding gloves
>she tells me she has to run some errands but will be back in a few hours and to start anyway
>"sure no problem"
>start mowing lawn
>keep mowing for what feels like an hour or so
>all of a sudden get a random strong erection, as you do during that age
>fuck
>really need to fap, boner is so hard
>i look around for a place i can fap
>i see the old ladies second car
>its a ute except the back tray is enclosed with a hatch
>fuck it, that will have to do
>try to open the ute door
>its locked
>open the back tray hatch and climb in
>shut the hatch, now im completely enclosed
>start jerking my meat
>about to blow a big load
>hear the sound of a car pulling up and idling
>fuck no please
>i should stop but i cant, i need to finish
>cum all over my stomach and the inside of her ute tray
>i hear her get out the car and call my name
>i hear her shuffle over to her ute
>oh fuck the back hatch is left slighly ajar what if she thinks somethings in here??? fuck
>tuck my dick back in my pants and get into that 'draw me like your french girls' pose
>she lifts the hatch up and just sees me there reclining and chilling
>the smell of cum is strong plus im sweaty from mowing so the smell is an intense beansprouty smell
>"what are you doing in there...and whats that smell?" she asks
>make up some bullshit about getting heat stroke and nearly collapsing and needing some shade
>she buys it
>i try to get out and she gives me her hand so i can steady myself
>grab her hand
>my hand still has cum on it
>i can feel the little bit of cum smooshing between our hands but she doesnt seem to notice at all
>i get out and she brings her groceries inside
cont

>>36745982
>as i go to shut the hatch i can see gloopy puddles of my jizz in her ute tray
>shut the hatch and go back to mowing
>finish the job get paid go home
>every time i saw her drive that ute i would think about the fact that shes driving around my jizz
>every time she waives to him i would think about the fact that she has some of my jizz on her hand kek

man lots of cringey shit happened whe i was a teen

>>36742843
>smoked pot for one first times in HS
>go to take a piss on the lawn
>shit myself and get back in the vehicle
>people sniff and say who shit
>I just turn red
>fucking wipe your ass
>get out and wipe my ass on the church lawn
everyone at school knew and the people I was with made up a story that I was yelling the grass tickles my asshole.

>>36742968
i know you
oregano

>>36743069
Shouldn't have been embarrassed about farting.

I came in my parents bed. I have a mommy fetish. Dad found the cum. He asked me why I had done it but I couldn't answer. I just started crying. I was seventeen and very confused.

>>36743087
>>tell her I hope she gets cancer and dies
Absolutely savage
She deserves it though

>>36743578
Damn. Good on you for giving him some extra cash tho. Were you just drunk or was it a random throw up?

>go to friends house
>stay up all night
>tired during the day
>sleeping at friends house during the day
>having a hot dream
>wake up cumming
>fuck
>pants are all jizz
>go to bathroom
>can;t get the stain out
>fuck fuck fuck
>wake up friend
>hey I'm gonna go home
>he says okay
>he goes to the bathroom as I head out
rush out of there as fast as I can when I'm leaving I see his mom she asks where he is say h-he is taking a bathroom HE IS THE BATHROOM he's taking a shit
>ohfuckgottagonow
she says oh and we say bye and stuff

>>36744538
You think that's bad? I'm pretty sure Stallman saves them between his toes.

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>>36742865
> 7th grade camp trip
> bunch of us up past curfew
> get in trouble
> have to do twenty sit ups and pushups
> mfw I cannot complete the pushups
> a half dozen classmates are watching
> nobody gets to go back to bed until I finish
> I can't get past 10
> eventually teacher dismisses the others
> tells me I should play less Pogs and more sports
> have to deal with snickering the rest of the trip

>doing prefect duties in stairwell
>someone drops a bucket of water on me from the top floor

I would've just accepted it if i were on my own, but I was in company so I had to control my reaction, a mixture of laughter and haha yeah I don't care, when in fact I would've been a lot less affected if I could just sit down and process it.

>>36744795
The only countries that are "completely beyond the race thing" are countries that are mostly homogeneous in the first place

>>36744182
that's more of a funny moment than embarrassing, my sides

>saturday 1150 pm im at my local gamestop.
>guy walks in and buys an xbox one and some playstation games.
>i ask him if he owns a playstation and he replies with a firm "no"
>guy must be colour blind so i say "uh sir? that wont work on an xbox one
>guy bitches me and calls me a thot
>he buys it anyway
>i left the gamestop confused a bit shaken but also laughing slightly.
>"What an asshole" i say
>guy replies with "YOUR'E AN ASSHOLE YOU MOTHERFUCKER"
>i leg it as fast as possible whilst the guy is in hot pursuit
>he trips and i make it back home

>>36746637
fuck u you're like the idiots at the game store when I bought a ps4 controller with ps3 games.

>>36743054
Nice pasta nerd

Origami

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>playing guitar all summer
>decide I'm going to perform at a little festival my friend's friend is throwing
>practice the shit out of the songs I wrote
>day of the festival
>notice I don't have a time slot
>talk to chad the festival organizer about it
>"sure anon, you can play, just let me find a time where you'll fit...."
>he never does
>decide I'll just play to a little crowd before the last band
>start playing and singing
>no one listens
>eventually they notice me and stare at me, cringing
>one girl looks at me with pure empathy, tells me to just go on stage and play
>people staring at me..... whatever I'll just do it
>start playing my song
>the last band is setting up behind me, checking their instruments
>hit a really wrong note at a key moment..... and now I'm miced up
>mild applause out of pity
>was going to play three songs, only made it through one
>the group of friends I thought I would finally fit in with just watched me crash and burn
>go home, curl into a ball, cry

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>>36744182

Kek. This wasn't me but

>middle school 9/11 happens
>eventually we convince the teachers to put the news on
>go to a classroom where they have cable
>right as we walk in its footage of a huge fireball
>kid I don't know immediately says 'dude that was AWESOME' in the most excited fucking voice
>looks of abject terror from everyone
>he stands stunned for a moment then realizes what he's done, holds down his head and walks out

I bet he still remembers that shit too lel

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Reposting from yesterday's thread
>15 years old at the time
>Making new friends
>They call for me one day after school at 5:30 p.m
>Put on my shoes and about to go downstairs and leave
>Mom opens the door
>Lectures them on how dangerous it is to be out at this hour
>At fucking 5:30 p.m at 15 years old
>They laugh and leave
>Never call for me again
Holy shit what the fuck was she fucking thinking?

>>36744111
>Wikipedia page dedicated to "You Got No Mates"

Nice story, but calling bullshit on this. There's no deletion log or archived page with that name.

>>36744141
>>36744751
Like I said I was really shy and had no idea how to make friends. It was embarrassing as fuck and I regret it but at the time I figured I had nothing to lose.

When I was little like maybe 8, maybe younger, I used to oral sex with this girl from across the street, I didn't even know what I was doing, but I ate her ass and puss, she ate my ass and slurped the dick. Anyways we would make blanket forts and do this shit. One day my mom walked in and we were on my top bunk of my bed and she just stood there and said she was so sick or disappointed or something. Then I don't remember what happened after that. We still played together for a couple of years, then her family moved away. She was pretty cute, but I forget exactly what her last name was, and I'm not about to ask m mom. To this day, I don't know if my mom even remembers, or if she told anyone. I have other embarrassing events but I can't really remember them as well now.

My mom found the poop covered sharpie I stuck in my ass and then threw in the trash.
>She confronted me about it

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>12 years old
>School play coming up
>Our teacher decides the class is going to perform a few dances to a couple of the songs from 'Grease'
>Whole class spends weeks rehearsing beforehand with partners
>Girl I was with said I was gross and refused to hold my hand during the dance segments and made me promise not to touch her as we acted them out
>Fast forward to night of play
>My partner didn't show up
>I'm upset but figure that at least I won't have to be in the play
>Wrong
>Teacher frantically tries to find another partner for me before giving up and telling me to just dance off to the side
>I tell her I don't know any dance moves but she refuses to let me sit it out
>Cue rest of class going through synchronized song and dance movement and looking great as I autistically do the Macarena a few feet from them out of tune and sync
>There are still pictures of me dancing off to the side to this day

>>36747054
Oh my fucking god I am so sorry

>>36747054

Music teachers are cruel man.

Shit, one day ours made the class listen to some Beethoven and draw what we felt when listening to it. 90% of the class drew guns and knives and things of violence while I drew a calm meadow, mountains and rivers.

Bitch told me my interpretation was wrong.

>>36746950
your mom was turned on by that and went to go flick her bean, thats why you dont remember anything about it.

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>>36747054
No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

oringinfanalo

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>>36742865
saw the same story on /tv/

>be not me ,13 year old
>playing cricket with normies friend in rooftop of my apartment
>About to start bowling but then one of the normie throws a rock at me
>starts running after him
>Pants zip for unzip
>Small penis got out
>other normie see this pee pee and make a disguist face
>go back to home
>Avoid social interaction forever.

>>36744899
Well? What happened next?

>>36747054
>middleschool play
>some play where people get married
>i didn't want to be in it
>I had to be the fucking priest who says you may now kiss the bride or some shit
>stuttered and everyone got pissed
>face was red the whole time
I didn't tell my mom about the play so I wouldn't have to do the night one for parents. it was humiliating enough

I never got caught so I can't speak for my parents, but why do you lots parents seem to get really upset at young people sexing
it's not like they didn't do it, I don't understand
are they retarded or what

I farted loudly while yawning in a class of 5 people including myself
the whole class laughed (including the teacher) for 25 minutes

I wanted to die

>farting during a lockdown and couldn't control my laughter so most the class got lunch detention
the girls were looking at me like ewwwwwwwww farts still crack me up

>>36744176

It's true. Sometimes they're goody

>>36743169
> out of fucking nowhere that dude starts making fun out of me and whispers her " anon wears a cap because he has lice"

Why is this so funny?

>>36742843
I tried to peep on my mom in the shower once and I was found out.

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>>36747054
This made me physically ache reading it anon

>>36742986
>Not wearing your swimming shorts underneath your clothes
Who does that?

>>36747214

Kids are retarded they don't want them getting stds and pregnancies

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>>36742968
>exlax

Made me kek to be quite honest

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>>36747054
That reminds me of this stupid memory:

>be me, around 7 or 8
>vacation somewhere, I believe it was roachland
>sunset, stage up near beach for evening dinner gathering/partying/fun time, almost paradise looking
>random kids can volunteer to perform different stuff
>fun times
>i go up, big dinner crowd
>tell me i should lip-sync
>wat dat
>"just move your lips to the song"
>somehow don't get that you're supposed to mimic the words

>song plays, im on stage with everyone staring at me as I do the most autistic faces and lip movements
>flick my tongue in random directions to make sure I have enough mouth movement
>everyone laughs, told I can sit down now

Shat on the floor in the Vatican

>>36747054
Post the pictures please, I am begging you. I do theatre and dancing for musical auditions is the worst thing in the world, I know your pain my dude

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One time in the 5th grade i had to piss. I was in basketball shorts and in an attempt to keep my prepubescent dick from the eyes of my friends I didn't pull my shorts down enough and i pissed all over my shorts

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>>36743199
>tfw cant think of a time where i wasn't ashamed or embarrassed

>>36742865
>half liquid shit starts streaming out
That s how we know you are from US

>>36748972
I pissed my pants all the time in school

>>36748842
I don't have them. They were taken by some teachers and my parents.

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>9th grade
>meet internet girlfriend for the first time at my local mall
>first time seeing each other irl so all my sexual frustration wants to be released
>kiss and grope her near the pillow section at Sears where nobody goes
>continue when we go to see a movie
>fully erect just being around her
>need to bust but she wont wank me in public
>with her for 4 hours without being flaccid
>blue balls slowly becoming more painful
>get to the point where i cant move my legs without by balls aching
>tell her i need to use the bathroom
>spend 15 minutes trying to rub one out but my dick is not complying
>she texts me and asks whats taking so long
>tells her that I'm jerking off because she wouldnt do it
>give up and spend the remaining hour with her sitting in the food court because i physically cant walk
>we both finally leave
>still handicapped the rest of the day
>she breaks up with me afterwards

The other day I accidentally took some old lady's cart at the grocery store because I got mixed up grabbing something across the aisle. I only realized when she shouted at me. A normal person would brush it off as a brain-fart and laugh it off but I still feel awkward

>>36748972
That's really not that bad. I knew a kid who would shit himself all the time.

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>>36749961
>tfw I was this kid

Bump. I'm enjoying this thread.

>>36743054
Fuck man you may as well just kill yourself at this point

>>36743739

Fuuuuuck man so many memories of this happening to me and my buddies in school. Two of my favorites:

1: I was reading some stupid story that had a mexican character in it. I speak spanish, but It isnt my first language so I dont have am accent. Anyways I get to this part where I had to pronounce some dude's name and I went full mexican in pronouncing it. I continued on but then the whole class started laughing hysterically and I was super confused. It was just natural talking like that in spanish so i didnt notice but everyone else did and thought i just knew how to pull off a good accent, they never knew i spoke spanish even though im brown as hell.

2: Class gets handed out pamphlets about cyber bullying, domestic violence, suicide, drugs, yada yada real serious stuff. I dont pay attention so i dont know what theyre talking about. My friends were called to read and being the assholes they were, passed the torch to me. Im lost so they show me where to read and the teacher is already mad. I read about half a paragraph normally but then I get to the sentence that says "Hank viciously beat his wife shirley, which led their daughter to do drugs and commit suicide." For some reason the idiot 9th grader in me burst out laughing while reading it. Nobody else is laughing except my friends and I and some girl is crying. The teacher wrote me up, only I got in trouble, but to this day I dont understand why i found that sentence so funny.

what the fuck are these school stories. I went to school in a shitty place and none of this horrible shit ever happened to me.

>>36752094
It is a funny phrase isolated from the context

>>36752242
There's more than one kind of school anon

>>36744861
>He says faggot

Lol, Actual oldfriends wouldn't use this term, which was created specifically for identifying noobs back in 2002.

>5th grade
>changed from elementary to middle school,so completely new faces
>got bullied hard in elementary
>"time to reset my reputation! I'm a blank sheet,nobody knows about the cringy stuff I have done in the past!" autistic little me thought
>crawl under open window
>forgot it was open,so hit my back fucking hard agains the horizontal window
>start crying
>YOU DIED
>REPUTATION FUCKING DESTROYED

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this happened to me in the first year of high school
>be me
>first year of high school
>trip to france
>eat like 9 fibre breakfast bar things on the way
>tastesgoodman.jpg
>get to hotel, everything is good and nice
>get to sleep no problemo
>wake up
>3am
>need to shit
>get to toilet
>literal liquid shit, the consistency of water, gushes out of my ass
>some splashes up the side onto my ass and the walls
>go back to bed
>it happens again
>shit, go back to bed, no problemo
>wake up again
>very much worse than before
>have to clench my asscheeks just so it doesnt fall out
>as im getting to the bathroom, accidently unclench asscheeks
>light brown water the smells like puke (not shit) cascades out of my ripely torn asshole
>keep walking to the toilet for some reason
>actually consider death
>didn't think anyone saw me
someone saw me

>>36744182
Ben?
oreganalo

>>36742843
>be 7th grade
>gym class
>coach lets me sit out cause ive got asthma
>sit on the benches watching everyone play basketball
>basketball bounces towards me and hits my head
>fuckinghurtsman
>dizzy as fuck
>massive headache instantly
>look up and everyone is laughing at me
>get taken to nurse for icepack
>next day hope everyone forgot about it
>ridiculed for it the rest of the month

>>36749397
You had one shot, one opportunity. And just let it slip.

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>be 15
>have to deliver presentation in English
>my turn
>in front of class
>start shaking violently
>very obvious quaky voice that gets progressively worse
>hand tremors resonating through paper script
>go into panic mode
>cant talk, shaking like a parkinson's patient
>tears well up i eyes, i think one dripped down
>class silent
>walk out of classroom silently
>try desperately to compose myself as i briskly walk to the bathroom
>sob loudly in bathroom as teacher comes to see if im ok

needless to say i have not presented anything since

not me but I remember a girl threw up on the entire class because she was in the top bleacher

it really was bad

>>36746748
oh fucking god,that stung

>>36754328
>be me in 10th grade ap english course
>have the same problem as you my entire life
>fuck up yet again
>for the very first time, the teacher laughed at me with the class
>this has never happened before and pissed me off
>no longer afraid to present because the teacher toughened me up

he unironically has a PhD in psychology and knew exactly what he was doing

society coddles us too much

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>>36742843
>be me, 9th grade
>listen to lot of classical music
>not a faggot about it
>have dancing in gym clas
>different in high school bc girls fine being touched by guys
>teacher tells us how to waltz
>"You'll need it for prom. There's nothing worse than a prom date who can't dance"
>nobody wants to be partner with me bc ugly Jewish manlet
>Already know how to waltz bc of classical music
>do really good in unit
>teacher does evaluation
>try doing a twirl thing like in the movies with partner
>it actually fucking works
>teacher is impressed
>whole class saw it
>everyone calls me a faggot for the rest of high school
>don't go to junior or senior prom
>"There's nothing worse than a prom date who can't dance"
>"A prom date who can't dance"
>"A prom date"

>>36743866
what """""country""""" do you live in ? just to add it to my to-glass list

>>36744544
You need to be 18 to use this sight, anon.

>>36744118
Is he gonna grow his fucking legs back or something?

>be me in middle school

>On school trip to medieval times

>Goes well

>Sitting on bus waiting to go back

>All kids talking normally

>Overhear something odd

>Turn around and see everybody staring at this one kid listening intently with weird looks on their faces.

>At this point I realize I wasn't the only one to hear something odd

>Basically the whole bus is listening

>Me and all the other kids sit and watch as this boy gives a detailed description of what he likes to put up his ass and how he does it

>Some of my friends thought he was joking around at first and joked back

>He wasnt

>Tells everyone more about it hoping someone will agree

>Tfw complete total silence the whole way back

>Tfw most of the people on the bus were grills with disgusted faces

>>36743054
That's sad. I would of wrote my number on your sheet anon.

>>36743866
I laughed then got mad that no one even tried to help you, wtf

>>36743054
Lmfao this is not your chinese cartoon

>>36742843

This happened to a friend of mine, so this is from my eyes

>Have a friend named Robert
>We're both in 2nd grade
>His mom is busy with her job and she had no money for a babysitter so she allowed him to sleepover with us
>We went to a girl's party and ate a shit ton of desserts
>We also went to McDonalds before we went home
>We're both full as fuck
>Almost bedtime, we take turns going to the bathroom
>Suddenly, I noticed something brown on Robert's shorts
>Oh god its happening
>He asks my mom if he could use the bathroom
>He runs in fast as fuck and we could hear the screams of him squeezing a huge ass shit out
>He starts yelling that he needs help
>My mom runs in and she has a horrified look on her face
>The fucker shit in the bathtub and most of the shit floated in the bath water
>We both stare in horror
>He then says something I will never forget
>"Oopsie daisy. Sorry."

Godspeed, Robert.

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>>36756224
wew lad this is the best one

>>36743054
Lost hard yo ayo fammmm

>>36742843
>at new school, really sick but can't miss class since it's my first week
>dissection for biology which isn't a big deal since i did them a lot before at my old school
>dissect as normal for half an hour or so and suddenly sickness starts to kick in due to standing up for so long
>feel my vision go fuzzy and everything sounds echoey, everyone is staring at me
>faint right in the middle of everyone in my grade on my first week at this new school
>they all assume it's because I get scared of dissections
>my only defining characteristic from then on is being the pussy who can't handle blood

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>Walking into school like a normal day
>get to the lunchroom to hang around and wait for school to start because its the morning
>as soon as I walk into the lunchroom door I see a wall of people pointing and laughing at me
>didn't know wtf to do or what the fuck was going on so I just stood there awkwardly while they continue to laugh for a good 3-4 minutes
>they eventually stop and I found out that one of my "friends" who I had known since 4th grade made up some bullshit lie that beat me up really bad after school because I attacked him for no reason
>was known for the whole year as kid who got beat up and was a pussy
>the whole thing was made up but I could do nothing

I like your stories among. Have any more?

>today
>dance class owned by my sister
> just signed in because i the only guy
>roastie that been flirting with me keeps hugging and shit
>middle of class teacher didn't came today
>roastie makes me call her "lovely"
>call her "lovely" infront of class
>she says that her boyfriend calls her "lovely"
>heart start beating harder
>finally found love? maybe !
>she says while looking at me
>tells to class that she was just waiting for him
>they ask about me
>answer that i was waiting for her
>she looks weird at me and says who
>find out she wasn't talking about me
>starts comparing my height with his bf height
>ask to me if I think he's beautiful
>hold my shit together
>leaves almost crying
>don't even says goodbye

well i dead inside...

>>36743054
Man that sucks, I would of totally hit you up especially seeing as you were the new kid. Children can be fucking assholes

>>36754532
>PHD in psychology
>teaches high school English
Who the fuck cares what a fuck-up like that thinks? You could get that job with a BSEd.

>>36743866
Fucking China man

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>2nd grade
>laundry day
>spongebob style whitey tighties
>get stuck on fence at recess
>hanging harder than of Mice of Men
>get down
>with halp
>don't know whether to be embarrsed or to play it cool
>dads voice in one ear
>always be yourself son
>if anyone is making fun of you just laugh it off and youll seem cooler than before
>i cant fake an emotion
Im like Nicholas Cage is any movie ever. Speaks for him , anyway...
>moms voice in the other ear
>always be classy bud, women with respect, girls like guys that handle things


>me
>going back and forth between histarically laughing and turning red as fuck.
(People talked about how red i got till i was a senior)
>see some fat kid
>immediately proceed:
>JACK YOURE A FAT FUCK
>fat boy comes at me
>socked in his face
Felt like a water bag
>girls start bitching
>yard duties freaking
>fat boy on the ground
>homies, no where be found or laughing
>tunnel vision sets in
>pass out
>wake up in nurse office next to fat boy and his angry parents
>no frands
>girls know i wear same pants as their grandpa
>suspended
DROP A LIKE IF YOU ENJOYED THIS VIDEO

This thread is fucking epic thanks kek

>>36757528
Get out moar dude holy fuck I hope you are fucking kidding fuck

>>36749397
I hope you're not still this much of a retard anon

>6th grade
>I'm chubby as fuck
>forget PE clothes at home
>coach makes me wear these short shorts and tight shirt
>wtf coach
>walk into the gym with outfit on
>my titties are showing through shirt and belly
>whole gym laughs their ass off
>go outside and we have to run laps
>my tits are bouncing
>can hear whole track laughing

It wasn't that bad now that I think about it, but that day I wanted to fucking kill myself of embarrassment, I went to counseling for a whole month after that.

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>>36742865
>The school ended up having to pay for the damage to the wetsuit.

>>36758015
why would i be kidding here, my feels got crushed by another thot.
The worst of alk is that i live in a third world country so 99% of the girls here are sluts...

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>>36758685
btw that's his steam rn and it's a black and white picture, is playing NBA 2K16 rn. Have fun boys.

>>36758685
>>36758738
Fuck it here's the link
have fun
http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198030850665/

>>36758766
please no ban

>>36758685
>>36758738
>>36758766
>>36758836
>be me 16
>this assblasted
you must be 18 or older to post here

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>7th grade
>bus evacuation
>I smell so fucking bad that I can smell myself
>one kid walks right up to my face and says "Jesus christ you smell like shit"

>11th grade
>give a speech in front of the class
>it went perfectly
>made everyone laugh and made myself look intelligent
>after this a qt girl starts sitting next to me
>one day she asks me a question
>stumble over my words like a fucking retard
>she says "what?" in an extremely confused tone
>instead of repeating myself I tell her im a homosexual
>never sits next to me again

>>36743087
>I hope she gets cancer and dies
Fucking savage. Good on you anon, don't let them hold you down. Release the feelings.

>me 10th grade
>kid named kenny who i didn't know committed suicide, in last period moment of silence for him
>kid next to me goes to me quietly, "oh my god, they killed kenny"
>never laughed so hard in my life, through whole moment of silence and on

>>36744149
Consider getting a go pro and a gun and doing a televised shooting. I wanna watch a real life fps bf1. Or get a shit load of chlorine gas for pool disinfectant and unleashing it in a mall or in your """"friends""""" houses.

>>36754445
kek, this deserve a (You). short but sweet

>>36745008
Horrible bait try harder. saged

>>36757077
This basically happened to me, too. We were dissecting frogs and all of a sudden I was starting to black out. I had to put my head down at a desk while everyone else dissected their frogs.
Not really that embarrassed about it though.

>>36746011
Anon has risen to the level of an omnipresent god existing everywhere at once in a thin layer of dried jizz transported throughout the universe

didn't read thread but i'm betting a lot of these are

>be 15-21 y/o male
>expect something of girl
>she does not meet expectation >instead humiliates me, most likely in front of a group of her/my peers
>tfw

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>be me in 7th grade
>say some dumb shit out loud in class
>teacher hears me
>wants me to come to her desk so she can write me a note to make my parents sign
>I want to show her that I feel really bad about what I did
>decide to walk to her desk in a sad way, with my back exageratedly slouching and my arms hanging down (like pic related)
>whole class laughs at me
>teacher gets angry, thinks I'm making fun of her
>makes me go to the principal's office
>be confused
>walk out of the class in the same way

I realized a few years later that it was kinda autistic

>>36744566
Can't decide if you are talking with a child, an autist or a troll

>>36743402
lmao a kid asked when the condom grew on

>>36743490
>>for some reason reach over and yank it as hard as I could
i just kekd so hard

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>>36742843
>Be me
>Horny 6th grader
>Discover masturbation
>Do it all the time in school, think I'm a sneaky fucker
>Repeatedly get warned by teachers to stop
>Just try and do it sneakier
>Doesn't work
>Fap in my mom's office while her and her co-worker are literally 2 feet in front of me
>Mom gets fucking pissed
>Still do it in class all the time
>Eventually teachers get fed up
>Tell my mom to fucking control me
>She fucking screams at me at school about how I need to stop fapping in front of everyone
>Go home, sit under the covers and cry
>Dad comes into my room and screams at me for like 20 mins
>tfw I didn't learn anything because I was a stupid fucking kid

>>36742843
> 8th grade
> be huge nerd
> dungeons & dragons nerd to be exact
> me and my few buds play every Saturday
> we want to play at lunch and after school in cafeteria
> masterplan.rar
> decide to bring manuals and character pieces to school
> most kids outgrew anime by 8th grade
> but not me
> constantly made fun of for watching cartoons and practically living in a fantasy world, (because of D&D)
> as last period ends, crowd of chads and stacies pass by
> slink away because I am premium prey for their type to pick on
> "Hey anon! What's in your locker?"
> they move in closer
> "Nothing..." I respond
> main chad inches from my face
> "Well, what's in this bag then?"
> he grabs my D&D bag
> hundreds of dollars of manuals and figures
> worried he would rip books and smash figurines
> ohgodno.jpeg
> opens bag and looks inside while side chads and stacies cackle to themselves
> throws bag at me, (somehow catch it)
> whew.bat
> "Hey everyone! Anon's got HENTAI in his locker!"
> what
> frantically try to explain that they are D&D books
> every one around me pointing and laughing
> "hahaha! Anon has hentai in his locker!"
> No one believes the truth
> get made fun of all through the rest of 8th grade
> teasing continues through HS
I un-ironically fap to hentai nowadays though

>>36744149
>Turns out some kid peed on my chair and i sat in it.
Where do you live?
I did that to some kid in 1st grade

>>36743578
It costs like $200 to refurbish your seats m8

>>36747054
>Cue rest of class going through synchronized song and dance movement and looking great as I autistically do the Macarena a few feet from them out of tune and sync

Oh my God my sides

>>36760034
who the fuck gets caught jacking off and continues to jack off in situations that you're going to get caught in. Not to mention multiple fucking times. And in front of your mom dude?

>>36744795
I'd like to know what fucking country you're from, because I can bet that is fucking bullshit.

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>>36742865
> viking shit eagle
my fucking sides

>>36754532
Lol, do that do a lot of other people who are afraid to present and you'll just make them never be able to present again.

Even if I were to believe your bullshit, it isn't proof that laughing at a kid is how you cure them.

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>be freshmen in highschool
>really into anime and writing fanfiction at the time
>was also a band geek and played tuba
>would write fanfics in my notebook while the band director would work with the shit tier clarinets
>the other 2 tubas in band would always fuck with me and try to read what I wrote, so I would quickly close it before they got a chance
>go to the bathroom during rehearsal and come back to see the two with shit eating grins on their faces
>reach in my book bag, as that's where I always put it when I would use the bathroom.
>It's not their
>panic and start breathing heavily
>frantically looking for it while the 2 start laughing uncontrollably
>notice the trumpets on the otherside laughing at something
>they have my notebook on their stands and are taking turns reading it
>the other two tubas start quoting from my fic
>endmylife.jpeg
>they continue passing it from section to section until class ends

At least I moved my sophomore year

I was just a really strange kid up until the end of high school
>tfw you remember all the autistic, homoerotic things you've said to people over the years

>>36743081
Richie?

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>>36743054
Top balls

>>36759332
I fell right to the ground which was the part that embarrassed me. I'd straight up passed out a few times before but it had always been at home until then.

>>36759594
She thought u was boiyt to use shakushi

i mean i have 1000 stories, but here is a more recent one

>be me
>in college
>about 20 at the time
>have no friends
>for some reason kids want to smoke with me
>it was one of the nights i got drunk and tried to make friends
>we go to car
>hot box it
>practically having a panic attack
>get a boner
>no one notices
>other kids are talking, i can barely hear them becuase weed is too loud
>as were walking back
>hear girl say something like
>"how fucking creepy is that, like that kid got a boner because we were smoking weed in the car"
>im literally standing right next to her
>me "haha i know right"
>they're all just looking down
>next day girl hit me up like 20 times to go to hemp fest but i was too embarrassed to go

starting to wonder if i made them wet with my alpha autism

>>36762070
i have super bad empathy so this thread has truly been a journey, this was the best story to end it on. your alpha autism is truly inspiring, hope you get some fuck bro.

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>>36742865
>I start to cry as the shit forms a viking shit eagle across my back

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>>36742968
>The neighborhood kids called me exlax for several years

>>36743866
>nobody helps

Where do you live? The people sound like cunts

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>>36747641
SWEDEN NEIN

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>>36761210
I feel more sympothy towards you if you are a girl. If you are not then, well I'm sorry.

>>36759384
surprisingly not.

>>36743866
I'm so sorry anon. I definitely would've killed myself if I were you.

>>36759384
Go back to tumblr. These threads are never like that.

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>>36742843
Had a oneitis Junior year of high school. Asked her out but got rejected, but I didn't going to let it go unfortunately. Got her flowers on Valentines day about 8 days later. She obviously didn't like it, didn't make eye contact, and I found out she gave the flowers away later that day. I still kept pushing it, got to a point where she blocked my number and had to switch seats in class, and I'm pretty sure she started talking about it, everyone in our grad year knew about all this and thought I was retarded or something.

I don't think about it anymore and got past that phase right after that year, but every time I look back it's so bad

>>36742843
I was 14, so ten years ago
Up late jacking off to some online porno
Sitting at my desk, nude, headphones on
Jizzed all over my chest and hands
Licked my hands clean
When I came I was moaning my sister's name (yeah, but she was hot)
See something out of the corner of my eye
Bedroom door is wide open and gram and grandpop are standing in the doorway in their robes
This was after Thanksgiving and they were staying a few days
Gram was crying and pop was cursing and going on and on about Jesus
He grabbed my computer (laptop) and took it outside and smashed it in the driveway
He came back in and beat my ass with a shoe
My Dad just watched and told me I was a dirty sinner
In between crying, I told pop about my parents DVD porn collection
Pop beat the shit out of my father with the same shoe
When we went to church on Sunday, pop got up and told the congregation what I had done
I went to the church school, so everyone was there
All the teachers and my classmates called me Jack after that (my name is Mike)

>>36758670
>thot
This post made my day. I'm sorry anon.

>>36744182
That happened to me
>10th grade or so
>Watching a documentary about "cyber bullying"
>"He was just 13 years old... And he killed himself"
>For some reason I started laughing
>Everyone looks at me

>>36754532
>he knew exactly what he was doing

what. this could lead to never ending bullying wich destroys a persons life. what, and an authoritiy figure just laughing along just makes it easier for the kids to bully a person forever over it. the guys a dickhead and did not know what he was doing.

>>36743054
>7th grade
>mobile phones
Man I can't believe kids that were in junior high even just 4 years ago could potentially be posting here and not be banned. And I'll be 35 this year, fuck

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>>36763958
dont origins

>>36742843
>Be me, forget my baapee
>Get really sad because the other kids have their baapee
>Begin sulking in class
>Teacher: "What's wrong, anon"?
>"I don't have my baapee"
>Teacher: "Here anon, take my baapee for the day"
>Fuck yes
Fucking cried like a pussy though and embarassed myself. Ended up keeping her baapee.

>>36759381
he will never die, his genetic information will live on forever

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>>36765436
>baapee

>>36743081
What fucking wrong with eatin burgers?!

>>36744149
>peed on chair in full class
Wtf? How is that possible?

>>36744149
tell them to fuck offrgherthrth

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>be me, 17 years old at the time
>hang out with a group of """friends""" (normie mongoloid classmates)
>one guy talks with me and we get drunk, because he's nice 'n all
>comes out to me after drinking and talking in the morning
>says he's suicidal, because a abusive orthodox parents
>try to calm him down in someway
>make up story how i'm secretly gay too and talk shit about my parents
>talk an hour 'bout fag stuff
>save the situation
>after conversation look on my phone for time
>see that mom on phone line for half an hour already, listening
>come home
>both look sad
>"anything you wanna tell us, anon?"
>family thinks im gay, although hetero as fuck
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>36766176
tell them you didnt mean it and were only saying it to get in that guy's pants
oh wait no

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>6th grade
>history, we are studying greek gods
>i'm way into it but i have to pee
>i don't want to leave class
>time passes
>can't hold it anymore, accidentally release a little bit of pee
>raise hand to ask to leave
>"anon why didn't you ask earlier, you can't leave class within the last 10 minutes. just wait"
>o..o.ok
>all the pee is released
>class ends
>hide piss stains by tying hoodie around my crouch
>get made fun of for wearing my hoodie like a girl
>"anon, you smell weird..."
>avoid social interation for the rest of the week
It could have been worse but it was bad enought that I never forgot.

>>36742843
>Be retarded me and have crush on slightly chubby girl on bus
>Decide the best way to make a move is to get some chocolate and offer it to her
> All goes according to plan except once she finally accepts idk what the fuck to say
>Decide to tell her am "interesting fact"
>Tell her one and from then on we never speak again

>>36744111
>i have a gf

Get the fuck off my board.

what's up with all the shitting in pants stories here?

is being unable to control your bowels a requirement for being a robot?

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I have quite a few stories from 8th grade.

>Be me
>Have crush on a kind of qt girl named haylee
>Send her one of those valentine gram things anonymously
>Here her the next day talking to her friend
>"Who does that, that's so creepy"
That one was only embarrassing for me but still

>8th grade science class
>Watch movie about whales
>Kid makes joke about whaling
>Tell him whales are cool and we shouldn't kill them
>From that day on I am known as whale boy
>Teacher signs my yearbook and draws a picture of a whale in it


>Be me in science class again
>Friends with horny weeb girls because one of them was hot as fuck and my oneities
>They decide to play prank on me
>Leave gay yaoi fanfic under my desk in class
>Someone finds it and thinks it's mine
Thankfully people forgot about it in a few days.

>>36766714
Most of these shit stories are made up. It's an embarrassment scat fetishy thing. Go on /d/ or /aco/ and you'll find dozens of people role-playing like that except sometimes they are dragons or wolves or girls or whatever.

>>36742843
Having to come out to my mom while in tears after my best friend accused me of raping him.

I wish I was joking.

>>36764244
That's actually funny though

>autist me in health class
>have to do presentation on some shit
>and make a powerpoint
>make a powerpoint and am silently flipping through the slides
>teacher asks me why I'm not speaking
>ask why we had to make the powerpoint if we had to speak
>say people can read it
>just tells me to sit down

;_;

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>taking bus from nyc
>get on turnpike
>711 empanadas start a Mariachi band in my asshole
>can't hold it
>walk up to the driver
>hey i gotta get off
>Oh sorry i can't let anyone off here
>I've got to use a bathroom
>looks at me
> : [
>says he can get off the next exit
>w- what should i do once you get off?
>just forget me
> :[
> : [
>run into some woods near s bridge
>shit my brains out
>luckily had toilet paper and wet wipes because my school never had bathrooms stocked
>realize I'm 100 feet from a river
>my ball sack turns into a grapefruit from mosquito bites
>I'm dumping radio active waste for 2 hours
>call a taxi, smell like shit
>go to a hotel
>buy new clothes from Wal-Mart
>get changed in family bathroom
>security is half assing a stakeout because they think I'm stealing

>>36747054
*breathes in*
Fuck I'm sorry anon. That's really sucks. I mean I'm laughing at you but it really sucks too.

>read this thread in class
>begin to cry of laughter in front of everyone
i hate you guys

>>36767303
>711 empanadas start a Mariachi band in my asshole

i fucking cant

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>be me, lactose intolerant
>7th grade poorfag
>its lunchtime "hey anon you want my chocolate milk i stole"
>what could go wrong with just one carton so i accept
>40 minutes later sitting in history class
>stomach starts rumbling profusely
>"Mr. anon can i go to the bathroom?"
>"Why didnt you do that at lunch?"
>"because I was eating lunch"
>storm off to the bathroom clenching my butthole as hard as i can
>someone else is in there, i cant let them hear the shit and farts im about to unleash
>sit down still clenching, losing strength to go on
>fucker wont leave
>"you wanna play battleshits?" i ask
>immediately unleash hell upon the toilet with shit ricocheting in every direction
>"ohhhh yeeaaaaa i just sunk your submarine"
>kid finally stands up and washes his hands while im screaming "your move captain"
>at last i am alone
>finish unloading fury upon the toilet and wipe my ass
>walk back into the classroom
>stunned looks across their faces
>fucker tells them everything

>>36754328
this exact thing happened to me when i was 15 too. also my oneitis was in the class. you're not alone my friend

>>36743866
Please stay strong. Today i will lift for you.

>>36742843
I was jacking off once right, and there was a party going on at a house opposite. Anyway I fucked up my curtain placement: so I got a lot shit yelled at me very loudly by the party-goers. Most of it just mocking rather than appalled. Didn't jack it for 3 months after that.

>>36758685
>Discord
>Chatlog
>Link to profile

I hope the mods are doing their jobs, you should leave and never return.

>>36766726
>>From that day on I am known as whale boy
I don't think this is embarrassing at all. Whales are cool, and good on you for saying what you believe in

>>36747214
Statistically 90% of kids that sex each-other at such a young age have learnt it from an adult abusing them.

>>36743866
Jesus fucking christ... I can't even begin to imagine having this happen to me...

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>>36742843
>sitting in my room minding my own business
>hear knock at the door
>brother answers
>its an engineer that my dad booked for me to fix my internet
>i had no idea he was coming today
>him and my brother come into my room
>engineer goes to the internet socket
>that is where my huge pissbottle collection is piled up
>both discover it
>i leave the room hastily
>overhear my brother saying 'im sure youve seen worse'
>leave the house
>come back and the internet is fixed and the pissbottles are untouched

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>>36742865
>poo in wetsuit

>>36770888
why the fuck do so many of you motherfuckers piss in bottles, and not at the very least dump them out

>>36760730
well England has been against slavery for almost a thousand years so i'd say that's pretty close.

>>36771076
>for almost a thousand years
are you retarded

>>36742843
A senior at my high school came in a fursuit, so did their friends. Forced a lap dance on the emo kids this sparked a small scale war

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>be 16
>2013
>Loser autistic friends making school documentary on bronies
>Want me to be in it
>Decide for me to be interviewed
>Ask me questions about who I tell
>So scared to be in this situation
>Literally see me shaking in fear in the interview
>Tell them rainbow dash is my favorite
>Why
>Let out an awkward "b-because she i-is 20% cooler haha"

>tfw it gets played on the last day of school in an assembly of around 1000 people in my year
>Everyone laughing at me
>People looking disgusted at me
>People moving away from me as quickly as possible
>Start sweating and then crying
>Run out and reset to 0 friends