mental health thread [general?]

>>36718213
Not really. Alit of deppresion and meme deppresion but I wouldn't say this place is ill. You feel for the robot meme. it's true most of us are nihilistic and preffer to be alone but I would say 90% of this board can save themselves if they stop being lazy. And no don't jus b urself. Get a job, move out and see where life takes you. Life sucks and you're not going to get a qt unconditionally living GF but you can still go out and fuck with normies. I've been here since like 2014.l and have stopped coming for the most part in the last few months. This place dosent change much. go do something mediocre and be independent

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I'm INTP, does this count?
+ usual schizoid disorder
Just want to live until I have procreated and educated some of my own children.
The thing i look most forward to, is the downfall of civlization. These are the only important things in my life

>>36718213
I'm unironically about to snap.

senpai I'd post in your thread anyway even if you didn't have that pic. Now that you've used pic I refuse to participate, not because ciara threads are awful but because you clearly don't have your priorities straight in making it

>/r9k/ most mentally ill
>not /lgbt/

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>>36718897
I don't know anything about ciara other than that she's a crazy camwhore
I find the picture aesthetically pleasing and used it with the intention of drawing attention to the thread

>>36718213
cant trust anyone, can't trust anything
i have to kill myself soon

>>36718213
I have schizophrenia and I'm about to take my own life AMA

>>36718932
>used it with the intention of drawing attention to the thread
you're attracting the wrong people though. again I'm gonna sage cus it's doomed from the start.

OP if you want actual help we have a continuous Psychological Issues thread on /r9k/ should have another later today just don't be a cunt, ciara represents the worst kind of obsessiveness over the internet. Horrible personalities and all negativity no fun.

>>36718945
don't be a coward. You're surrounded by the wrong kind of people. Make a change this year and come up with at least loose plan to become satisfied with your life down the road.

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>>36718856
what do you think will happen once you do

>>36718721
>Just want to live until I have procreated and educated some of my own children.
>The thing i look most forward to, is the downfall of civlization.
As in they can live in a post civilization shithole?

>>36718973
Will you please let me have your things (if you have any) so that I don't have to kill myself?

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>>36718997

>you're attracting the wrong people

would you argue that the people who obsess over /r9k/ camwhores aren't mentally ill

>we have a continuous Psychological Issues thread

that thread is a lost cause, it was doomed from the start because of the insistence that the thread's users deanonymize themselves
that only leads to backlash from the userbase and attention whoring that derails threads

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>>36719071
ahh well, existing is severely overrated anyway

>>36719081
I'd argue that whether they're mentally ill or not (mixed bag) they've got self-destructive personalities. We need optimism and useful advise in here and I don't give a fuck if we've gotta ignore those fucks and let them ruin themselves to do it.

and there's no attention whoring on Psychological Issues, no more than the two faggots already telling us they're gonna kill themselves ITT. Nothing wrong with dropping a bit of 4chan culture for a moment especially since 4chan is contributing to the problems a lot of people have.

>>36719103
Probably, yeah. I think you're right. I ought to just get it over with already.

>>36718997
every person I've crossed paths with is wrong. you're all in on it. you all just want negative energy from me. There's nothing in this life that I want, I'll be satisfied when I know my end is near.

>>36719137
either you've got real depression and you need to be more open with your psychiatrists try out ALL the anti-depressants, or you're a fucking coward and an asshole

>>36719176
>try out ALL the anti-depressants
or/and cognitive behavioral therapy

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>crippling ADHD
>depression
>recovering recluse that would stay in the house for 4 months at a time
>probable OCD
>good self-esteem, getting As in college, making friends effortlessly
>I want to go back
>I have browsed this board for 7 years now
>Nobody knows because I'm a girl who has perfected the normie act

Fuck. I'll never make it in the normal world.

>>36719176
i am an asshole and a coward and nothing will ever change that.
let me die.

>>36719408
>Nobody knows because I'm a girl who has perfected the normie act

that's the exact opposite of my problems, everyone knows and that's why I can't overcome because it's all I think about

i've suffered from psychosis and been in a ward because of it

I thought it was a spiritual awakening

Now I make music if anyone wants to check it out

https://youtu.be/H0vNEjSteeM

>>36719408
You want to be a recluse again?

>>36719552
no. And you will change, I actually believe this

>>36719556
I thought that way too until I ended up in the hospital after a suicide attempt. They gave me benzos and remeron. I'm not on remeron anymore, but the few months I was managed to knock me out of whatever spell anxiety put on me. That made me be social and stuff, so now I feel pressured to maintain that reputation. I admit a lot of it is just smoke and mirrors at this point. People will never understand how we can be this way, so I've given up on it.

The only person who I thought accepted me also started abusing me after I tried to get the same things he had (degree, eventual career, own friends) and I've given up on relationships too. Apparently I'm only valuable to them when they can use these issues to control me.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had just succeeded with my attempt and never had to experience "normal" life. I wonder if all these people are going to make me die feeling more alone than I was then. If there's any dignity in it now.

Remember robots, you're here forever.

I'll listen some time thee next few days anon, I'll leavea youtube comment too :)

/pol/ and /x/ and much more mentally ill then this teenage shithole

>>36718213
>Tfw don't have to work because of psychosis
I wish I was a mental hospital though, I'm on a waiting list.

>>36719768
Racism isn't a mental disorder you dumb liberal

>>36719624
I want to be alone without any expectations. Social expectations are useless and anxiety-inducing. Why else would an anonymous site be so attractive?

I actually had a group of people I was playing video games with believe I was a mute for a while. It's bad.

>>36719714
I'm not going to play this game for another 20, 30 years or however long it takes for my body to die naturally. Fuck you, I hate you. You're just like everyone else, I'm not going to do this. Fuck you

I'm diagnosed with social anxiety,crippling avoidant personality disorder and depression.
Please just end me. I'm not fit for this cold world.

>Think about suicide daily
>Joke about it constantly
>Never leave my house besides college and the occasional outing once every 2-3 weeks to get high or drunk
>Literally 0 motivation to do work
>Apathetic to anyone not in my immediate group of friends/family
>Social Anxiety cripples me so I can't convince myself to get a job for fear of having to talk to people I don't know or worse customers
>Bottle feelings of nihilism behind sarcasm and jokes

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>>36718213
Here's my list:

Social anxiety and agoraphobia so bad I can no longer go outside without first checking out the door to see if anyone's there. I'm still able to go out shopping sometimes, though.
There's Bipolar Type I, which gave me a psychotic episode when I was 19 that basically ruined my life. I'm also depressed most of the time, despite treatment with Lamictal.
There's also autism, but extremely high-functioning. It went largely unnoticed until I was an adult.
Oh, and probably ADHD. I spent a lot of time with highschool teachers simply for getting mediocre grades. They somehow thought there was this huge gap between my ability and what I was putting out. I ended up on Adderall during my first year of college, which led to probably some of the best times I'd had in my life; but unfortunately got addicted and dropped out.

Anyone else have some of the same issues? Wanna talk about it?

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>>36718213
i suspect im schizoid how do i know if its real. going to talk to a doctor is not an option, fuck that

>>36719984
Have you tried vyvanse? I switched from addy to vyvanse and it is way less addictive emotionally. That said, it's risky business as someone with bipolar.

>>36720013
Do you crave intimacy?
Yes, probably avoidant.
No, probably schizoid or extremely avoidant attachment style.

>>36720076
i dont crave anything from others excluding sexual urges

>>36720025
I really want to, but I don't think that's an option anymore, since I have a history of addiction now. Also, I'm sure it will be much more difficult to get it at my age (24) than it was back when I was 18.

>>36719770
Can psychotic people even be aware that they're psychotic?

>>36719897
>realize nihilism is the one true view and everything else is merely an exercise in imagination

>>36719408
I've gotten pretty good at pretending to be a normie too but I almost feel like it makes things harder.

>>36720171
Yes they certainly can. It's a common misconception that they can't

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>>36720099
Regardless of what the DSM says (look at the proposed changes to PDs in the recent edition that were scrapped) that leans more schizoid than avoidant. Could be a lot of other things though like autism or anything on the schizophrenia spectrum.

>>36720126
If you live in a major city, then you can get a prescription. Google "adhd psychiatrist <city> site:reddit.com" and viola. Those idiots.

>feels like im at a point beyond depression
>unable to cry
>unable to find joy
>i very rarely feel other things then adrenaline, ego and some forms of brain stimulation.
>either sleep 0 hours or sleep a shit ton (11+)
>too autistic to articulate emotions nor do i have the need to.
>Don't really feel sorry for myself, i just want to be left alone so i can do the least amount of damage, have suicidal thoughts, even had them when i was around 8.
>wont kill myself because it will hurt my family and my sister who is schizo will have a complete fucking breakdown and kill herself aswell

i guess ill just keep on living

>>36720288
>unable to feel joy*

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>borderline + depression
>abandoned all my friends so they can't abandon me

>>36720226
That sounds like it would be pretty fucked up

>>36720288
>Me minus sister
Brother?

>>36720205
It definitely solidifies any fears you would have about how the "other side" really is.

Suddenly your avoidance wasn't irrational.

Suddenly you realize people aren't going to just mature or grow up.

Suddenly you realize that you're not paranoid. You really are a freak.

Suddenly you realize these people are society. They're the people you date, they're your friends, they're your professors, they're everywhere. And what are you? What are we? How are they useful to us in any way that is beyond the surface beyond observation?

It would be loneliness for me if I could get lonely. Instead it's the realization that the only way to function is to hide this part of myself from everyone. If I wasn't so obsessive and observational, then I would never make it. I got lucky and tried to figure out how people work from an extremely young age. I know now, and I like who I am, but I can't ignore the oceans between how people on /r9k/ work in comparison to the people around me.

So now I'm just waiting to get credit for everything I learned after dropping out at 14. Hopefully once I get to 3rd year and am taking higher level math and physics classes I'll find other people like this. That's about the only hope I have left.

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Can anyone please diagnose me with whatever? wont be taking it for granted but i really wanna know just what some of you think of this shit

>legally diagnosed with clinical depression
>been living with it for 8 years, only started taking medication for 2 years now
>apparently everything is ''fine'' now they said
>dropped me off meds
>used to have suicidal thoughts and self harm
>no longer do that shit but i'm an apathetic mess
>jaded as fuck
>i see no point in living, feeling empty / dead inside
>idea of death sounds calming to me but i actually don't feel like killing myself nor get suicidal thoughts in the form of ''weeh my life sukcs :((''
>now i feel more like dying would just finally let me be comfy and worry free
>imagine what it would be like if i killed myself and actually be reborn as another person with a better life
>fantasize about my future in great ways sometimes even though i actually have no plans for it and i see it more as a bleak one rather than anything great
>gave up on love or hoping to meet someone
>gave up on trying to make any kind of ''friends'' online
>it all requires too much effort and im too tired to do anything
>every day i feel like i'm getting closer to killing myself because im tired and want to sleep and be comfy
>sleeping or napping instead feels like a waste of time so i cut the option of doing that out
>i get back on track and no longer want to kill myself because i keep hoping i'll get a better computer to play vidya on and escape reality
>or tell myself that if i die i won't be able to see this show or play that game or something along those lines

i dont know, there are more but i think i made the post long enough.. pls discuss im rlly not feeling anything at this point anymore but tiredness

>>36720308
>abandoned all my friends so they can't abandon me
relatable

>>36720515
You still have depression and it's getting worse because you quit your meds. Go cop a script and be patient. If you quit because of side effects I might be able to make recommendations if you know what you have tried/were on.

>>36720515
8 years,
suicidal thoughts and self harm
dead inside
too tired to do anything

that's depression mate. get back on your meds.

>>36720515
anhedonia is a minor form of depression where instead of feeling bad, the subject feels little if any emotion at all. This leads to chronic feelings of emptiness, worthlessness, and meaninglessness which can progress to suicidal ideation and eventual suicide.

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>>36720815
>>36720822
shit i didn't phrase it well; im not the one who wanted off of them, the guys who prescribed them to me (going to 2 different psychiatrist that work as some sort of shit team in the psych ward) told me they'll cut me off them for a few months so i won't get 'addicted'.

>''Your life shouldn't be dependable only on the meds'' blah blah sort of thing

>>36720815
different anon but Prozac is like depression in the form of a pill. Lost all sex drive, gained 25lbs in 2 months, lost all motivation and drive, constant fatigue. Seriously, it was like I went to the doctor and asked "hey, is there anything you could give me to turn this depression into a supermassive black hole of misery?"

>>36720427
yes

yes is not oregano.

>>36720906
depends on your personal biology. all ssris suck for sex drive but prozac is way better than my weight gain than zoloft (i gained like 80 lbs in a year on z). wellbutrin was the best for libido but my anxiety was awful on it. meds are never gonna be perfect but i'm barely functional without them

>>36720451
You're a lot better at putting it into words than I am but yeah that's exactly it. I went down the art route for schooling but for the same reason of I thought there I could find interesting different people or people like me there, but unfortunately they're the same as all the rest if not worse. I'm in too deep now though and I feel like it's only a matter of time until everything comes crashing down.

Also you ever had it were someone makes a joke about weird/ different people to you and you just laugh and agree. In my head half of me is like good job blending in and the other half is just losing it.

>anxiety
>depression
My depression feeds my anxiety which feeds my depression which feeds my anxiety which leaves me sad and lonely even though I know it's my own fault.

Pretty sure I've also got some kind of attention disorder as well and may or may not be a lowkey psychopath.

>>36720906
i was prescribed xanax but the dosage was like really weird, every day for 3 days two tablets chopped in half in the morning and the other chopped halves in the afternoon, thursday and friday 1 full table in the morning and half in the afternoon, in the weekend i was told to not take any unless i REALLY felt the need to, and only then based on what time it is i can take up to a quarter or half of a tablet. ????

>>36721018
I guess that is the thing, I've always been a "functional" depressive. Never late for work even when I don't have the willpower to take a shower for a few days in a row, parents think I am happy with lots of friends even though the last text I received was 4 months ago for my birthday. I always thought I would get help when I couldn't "function" any more, but I've always managed to scrape by, not doing as well as I could have but well enough to avoid scrutiny. Now I self-medicate with marijuana and although it doesn't make me less depressed and probably makes my anxiety worse, it helps quiet the voices in my head telling me how worthless I am, and makes it easier to spend all day, every day alone. Not exactly healthy, but definitely "functional"...

>>36718213
>/r9k/ is easily the most mentally ill board on 4chan

you havent been to /fit/

>>36721042
Me except diagnosed with ADHD and replace psychopath with sociopath

Why should I pay hundreds of dollars to numb and brainwash myself? Let's say it works and I can't feel or think anymore, what then? What is the sack of flesh and bones I'm in really needed for?

>>36721103
xanax kind of scares me after my roommate in college slept for like 32 straight hours and woke up with no memory of time passing. She snorted it, and she is tiny, but still, that shit is like the ultimate roofie. Does it really help with anxiety or just turn you into an unfeeling robot? (no pun intended)

>>36718213
>tfw so depressed I can barely move half the time
>"you're so lazy anon!"
really boils my beans

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>>36721238
nothing really. i did that mistake, wish i hadn't. now i'm afraid of feeling any feel ever again but at the same time i try to pursue feeling at least SOMETHING if not anything at all, it's a complete mess to understand if you never experienced it so please just don't fall for the magic pill memes

>>36720898
Fuck them. They're idiots.
>>36720906
Have you tried wellbutrin? It's usually the go-to for sexual SSRI issues. Basically anything that isn't an SSRI will be better.

>>36721039
When they make fun of other people I usually can get them to empathize or at least feel like a cunt. I'm actually a lot more patient and helpful to the slower people in my classes even though it's mostly review for me. Normies need to prove they're better or something. It's annoying. Nobody is hot shit in molecular biology. Sit the fuck down, kids.

I actually get kinda retaliatory and grill the fuck out of these kids too. 3D molecule models and you think you're superior because you know carbon is the black one? Well I'm in a group with 3 of these people you're too good for and we finished the lab in under half the time it took you or anyone else. Then I come over and ask if their lab group needs help with the biggest nice girl smile and they change their tune because they're too fucking stupid to figure out amino acid side chains on their own.

Normies are too easy to humiliate.

>>36721255
its a benzo, not an anti-depressant. its a god-like for anxiety, it wont shut your emotions down (if anything, im super happy and and positive on it)

just dont get addicted. i started with "i will take it when i need it" but as soon as i got a supply i started it daily. hard to get addicted but cold turkey can give you seizures. be careful and go for it

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>>36721257
this
>hah anon, you cant be depressed, you havent experienced enough to be depressed

>fights vidya addiction, realize its my depression coping mechanism, become bedridden alcoholic instead
WOW
Life is great sometimes

and also, the classic
"only substance addictions are real addictions"
tell that the people that died from it

>>36721351
and a doctor is just going to prescribe a weird pale skinny kid a benzo because he says he has anxiety? Is there like a test they have you do?

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>>36721255
>snorting xanax
jesus fuck it is not made to be consumed that way

but yes to both questions really; it helps with your anxiety while at the same time makes you feel fucking nothing anymore, and that feeling of nothingness actually gets addictive as hell because you just feel worry free and like there are no longer any responsibilities

i could hold some okay conversations with my classmates a few years when i went on it even though i literally never even talked to any of them; it completely devoided me of that fear of talking to someone else while at the same time not making me feel good for managing to finally talk to people.

it's honestly really hard to explain as it makes a complete mess off of you and your brain

>>36721257
>haha lol u can do it
>ur smart boy lol
>you just lazy lazy BIG lazy XD
>but i kno u can do it ur big god boy
>even if u just lazy hehe

>>36721395
depends. in the american pill popping culture? its super easy to get. in eastern europe? at least where i live, its super hard to get and even then they wont give you alprazolam (xanax) but something lighter with a longer half-life like lorazepam (ativan) or valium (diazepam)

>>36721403
>you feel fucking nothing anymore

its weird, did you have anxiety or just poor social skills? benzos did wonders for me, i never really got high but instead it helped me to shut-off the thought-loop of my brain that caused anxiety and helped me organize my thoughts. i was always incredibely happy on it
none of my mates who had no problems enjoyed it though

>have autism, gender dysphoria, and depression, as well as small physical defects and 1 month premature
gee mum, thanks for having me at 38

>>36721304
>nothing really
so there's no reason for me to be here wasting resources that could go to someone who would better appreciate what they've been given.

>>36718213
marijuana is the best anti depressant

>>36721620
Or you could actually suck it up and take the meds instead of allowing your biology to control your actions completely. It's just scary and effort. Don't blame your "too good for meds" mentality on other people because I guarantee you those people have/are/care about someone who actually manages their shit with them.

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>>36721209
explain please
im just curious

>>36721860
there is /r9k/ autism which is usually just poor social skills and lack of experience. and there is real autism, which is more frequent on /fit/
it used to be one of the best and most supportive boards but it got infested with incels who try to bring everyone else down and are full of none-meme asperger

>>36718213
I can't stop obsessing over a girl who has left me and it's been about a year since she distanced herself from me.

>>36721725
I'm not going to be able to pay for those meds on my own. I'm going to have to use money somebody else made for what? I don't deserve that, I don't have anything great planned in my future and I know this because I'm not a great person. I don't do great things. I'm a coward and an asshole and I don't really have any interest in doing anything with my life. I never have.

I realize over the years, my fuse has gotten shorter. I'm prone to get enraged by small, insignificant things very easily, only to feel like total shit afterward and hating myself and going back to my depression only to cycle through it again. I can't stand living like this.

>>36721473
When I was "recreationally" taking benzos (mostly xanax) it didn't really get rid of my anxiety but it did do that thought organization thing.

What concrete help can you get from a shrink for depression? Is it just bullshit aided introspection and pills, or something else?

bump

Hdjsjsis

>>36718213
>think I'm over Ciara
>that picture pulls me right back in
How does she have this kind of power?...

>>36718213
You are wrong thanks to the normie invaders /lgtb/ is the most mentally ill board on 4chan.

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i was depressed, narcissistic, anxious, and very very lonely but i found the first step of the cure.

i reccomend everyone psychedelics

i did acid for the first time recently then i did it five more times once a week and since i feel really optimistic about things. i have charted out a year plan to escape robotdom for good.

the first step is to reset your conscience with psychedelicas the next is to regain control ofyourself and take steps in the opposite direction your disease made you go. i shall be released

>>36721395
Benzos are extremely common in America. I got them by saying I couldn't go outside, but my mother gets them just because she has "anxiety". Some doctors use them as a first resort; some use them only after they've tried an SSRI.

Just don't act like a shady fuck or ask for them directly and you should be fine.

I'm extremely shy and unusually suspicious. I tried to kill myself a couple times, and when I went to a mental hospital they diagnosed me with schizotypal personality disorder (I actually don't think I have it).

It's my third year in college and I don't have any friends. Loneliness can be really painful, and I'm worried that things won't get better after school.

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>>36725008
>i have charted out a year plan to escape robotdom for good.
>the first step is to reset your conscience with psychedelicas

Godspeed, anon.

>>36718213
There's a mental illness discord server.
discord gg/tvT3fNs

>>36725812
This server has one or two omnipresent memers who I can't stand.

>>36725008
>i reccomend everyone psychedelics

I did this and it triggered my latent schizophrenia.

>>36718213
>/r9k/ is easily the most mentally ill board on 4chan
what is /jp/

>>36726875
good! now you know about it and you can get help

i'm sure you got a cool lightshow too if you did enough to put you full schizoid mode

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I'm scared of myself. I have so many thoughts of hurting. I'd go into details but I don't want to be on any more lists. But let's just say I haven't left my house for 2 years out of fear that I'll do the things I imagine doing.

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>think I might have an anxiety disorder
>too anxious to book a doctors appointment and get checked for it
HELP

>>36718213
I think I may have depression and anxiety. Do I just go to the doctor or something? I've had it for years and I want to do something about it. Like what type of doctor do I make an appointment with and am i (22) too old to tell my parents? Literally have never made a doctor appt so I'm a bit lost.

Anyone else like being mentally ill? I mean I get all kinds of meds sometimes spend a few days in crazy hospital i talk to other robots

>>36720013
I recently finished a big book on Schizoid personality disorder by Harry Guntrip. It's supposed to be one of the more popular books about the disorder.

I may post a bunch of quotations from it soon on here. It's pretty frightening what it can lead to if allowed to progress naturally. It goes from being someone who is outwardly cold, consciously secretive, and highly invested in their imagination to being someone who literally believes they do not exist and does stupid shit to try and prove that they do. It's a very lonely world.

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>>36726932
>now you know about it and you can get help

Lol no i'm never gonna go to a doctor again fuck those guys.

>i'm sure you got a cool lightshow too if you did enough to put you full schizoid mode

I only took like 50yg but while we were tripping a guy in the group convinced me that i killed someone and that's pretty much what triggered it.

I can still handle the delusions at the moment but i know i won't be able to do that anymore in like a few months.

>>36727009
See a therapist first - not a doctor. The therapist will evaluate you and you can both come to the conclusion of whether your need meds or not. After that, you can see a psychiatrist.

>>36718213
Really? Seems like most people on /pol/ have schizophrenia or borderline personality disorder.

>>36718213
I've only got bad neurotic. Mainly to do with anxiety and bad past experiences. Nearly got rid off it.