>mom yells at me that I need to go outside, threatens to shut off Internet if I don't
>have no choice, have to go out
>bored out of my mind with nothing to do, eventually wind up in a park
>remember in cartoons old ladies are always feeding pigeons, decide to give it a try
>get some bread and sit at a park bech, start throwing crumbs around
>no pigeons around here, just crows
>fuck it, I'll feed them anyway, what could go wrong?
>was actually kind of relaxing, made it a daily routine
>more and more crows showed up every day, eventually a HUGE murder of crows showed up waiting for me at the park daily to feed them multiple loaves of bread
>became the crow guy
>some roastie got mad because the crows shit everywhere and scared her snotty kids
>one day sent Chad to stop me
>Chad starts yelling at me, tells me I need to leave and not come back
>tell him it's a public park and I have the right to be here
>he gets even more belligerent, shoves me over and steals my bread
>big mistake
>the crows are mad now
>start pecking the shit out of him, one or two even start dive bombing him
>Chad freaks out, drops the bread and runs away like a little bitch
>caw caw motherfucker
>roastie is toasty and they both leave while she yells at him
>bring a box of donuts to my crow-bros the next day to thank them
Go and feed some birds, robots. They are truly bro-tier.
>>36533001
I dont believe this is real but i want ot believe.
>>36533001
Holy shit I want this to be real
I smells like bullshit.
But who am I to judge.
>>36533001
I like this.
I've fed pigeons before, so I know how great it is to feed a bunch or birds, and luckily it's spring, so the pigeons at my campus are finally back, and I'll be able to feed them soon.
>>36533001
This is one of the first green text stories to get a genuine laugh out of me
>>36533050
>>36533106
It actually could be...crows are pretty darn smart and we know they can actually spread knowledge of where to find food amongst themselves. If a few of the crows told their friends where to get some bread from a nice human, you could get a big crowd like that.
They do also dive-bomb people they don't like. Crow researchers who capture and release have to wear disguises to avoid becoming known as crow kidnappers for this exact reason.
this is a ripoff of the lord of the crows greentext. Newfags...
>>36533050
Actually crows are super fucking smart, this does seem like something they'd do. Crows are known to give shiny objects to people they like. They can also recognize faces and are able to tell the difference between a friend and a foe.
>>36533304
Crows are incredibly smart
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/crows-understand-analogies/
>>36533001
>>36533315
here I found it. Certain there were more parts to it
>>36533520
http://www.funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/World+war+crow/mxrGLzk#c615fe_5167918
fuck