I'm fucking sick of having aspergers. You know what the

Jesus fuck you got it
Being a sperg that can pass as a normie is the worst. You don't belong to either and you spend years trying to fake everything to fit in, conditioning yourself and playing a character. Sometimes I feel like an actor. I forget my past and ignore my convictions, but I'm numb to it so it's like a second nature thing at this point. Sometimes I wish I just stayed in the sped system and became just totally cut off from normalfag way of life.

I feel it dude. Honestly it sucks. I embarass myself every fucking chance I get and it's my fault because I'm not retarded enough for it not to be.

>>36511460
The trick is learning to not care at all what others think of you.

>>36511460

do you want to cuddle, anon? I think you are sexy even if you are half retarded. i'll even drizzle your nizzle nigger

I've learned how to function for the most part. I actually have a few friends and am able to navigate social situations. I still come off as "eccentric" but it's workable.

For me family is the worst part of it all. My father had been trying to get under my skin and when my uncles gf asked why my uncle I was irritated he just tried to explain it away with my aspergers. Now they wonder why I avoid family events.

>>36511757

I've tried it and it only makes things worse. It doesn't improve my relationships I just become more of a "monster." I become even more of an outcast. Besides I can't fucking stand people who are "really authentic". I would be a hypocrite to become one. Just a different brand of fake as far as I am concerned. Fuck I can only see things in surfaces it's so frustrating. I peel back layers and I only get more fragile layers.

>>36511763

I'm making a retarded face at my screen just for you.

>>36511799
>I come off as eccentric

God I hate that fucking word. People are so dull that I have to be labeled and made to feel weird because I have a fucking pulse.

I've always resented my diagnosis. I've never accepted that I was different. People are fucking boring. I am not fucking eccentric. You know?

>>36511847
>I've never accepted that I was different.
Well I mean, you are, that's the thing. I had to figure out a process to really get why people were upset for instance. I cared of course, but I failed to understand the reasoning. It's something I try to keep to myself as much as possible because there is definitely a stigma around it though.

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>>36511810

wellheres something special just for you

>>36511967
I like that your hair matches your underwear

>>36512009

itsa wig desu, I have black hair and don't want to be misunderstood as a sjw cunt . aand pink is my fav color

>>36512037
isnt a wig even more sjw than dye?

>>36512048
I don't wear it in public , its only for dress up

>>36512037
Do you have a benis btwblox

>>36512067
you have something with black hair?

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>>36512069
no. Sorry fagg

>>36512119

>>36512334
Post more.

And post contact you whore

>>36511641
>>36511530
>>36511460
Reporting in too. Nothing worse than living in both worlds. Fuck, you can even identify those other spergs in hiding too.

Another thing is nothing ever feels natural to you. Being out with friends and other people, often doing these things never feel natural and I have to force myself to do certain things.

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I know the feeling.

I just want to meet one person who "gets" me.
Just one person I can make a connection with.

I can talk to people and socialise most of the time, but it feels forced, like I'm acting.
Sometimes I wonder if everybody else feels the same way, but they seem to genuinely enjoy it, and seek out chances to do it, so I doubt it.

I want somebody I can talk to and be around without every single interaction just being a reminder that I'm not like everybody else.

I don't know if I'm ever going to feel a sense of belonging, of comfort and flow when I'm around other people.
I don't even know if other people feel it.
I might just be thinking I'm missing out on a feeling that nobody else actually feels.
I'm sure that can't be the case though, they all manage to make some sort of bond or connection with somebody.

lollipop_mamimi
#7811 on discord. seeya

>>36511912
>figure out a process to really get why people were upset

Yeah I remember learning that. I write a lot and do a lot of "decision modeling" to navigate people emotions and avoid blunders. I've noticed now that as an adult, people know when you aren't going to respond the way they want, and that if you can send enough of *that* signal to people, you can avoid a lot of embarrassing situations that I never would have been able to avoid before. I've had a lot of success so far with the "low profile deadpan blue collar" character. I wear the outfit too even though I don't work... at any job. I've changed my voice too since it was also too inconsistent for people to handle. It would alternate between anything I had heard recently like a parrot or just be really awkward and goofy.

>>36511460

It's not asperger's.

It may be cptsd.

>>36512910
Explain what that is.

Hf FG bc

There's hope, guys. My best friend is an aspie. He was a sped all throughout school, and I never really connected with him til after highschool. Anyway, he just got married a couple weeks ago to this normal, cute girl. Only problem is she has 3 kids. But so what? He has one from a previous relationship.

>>36512910
is that you, nick?
originato

>>36512910

tell me more about this disorder you think I have. I'm curious what you think I "really" have from just reading text.

>>36513048
Marrying a used goods whore isn't a success in any way.
Memes aside, good for him. I hope other people will be as happy as he must be now.

Checking in also. I need neetbux before I'm homeless but don't know how to get.

>>36513054
No, and neither is the friend I mentioned

>>36513048
>He thinks marrying some woman that has 3 kids is making it

Too fucking kek

One is bad enough but fucking three?

>>36511460
Woah, woah. Slow down there Mr. Ausismo. Do I have to call your carer?

>>36513633
>ausismo
Looks like the retard was you the whole time hahagafahaaaaaaa

>>36513664
Least he got dubs. You couldn't even get trips.

Trying to blend in as a normie will only drive an aspie mad

I just try to b myself, I may be at the bottom of the normie's social food chain but I don't fucking care. Let your autism shine brother, blind the normies with it

dont worry mom

>>36512910
circumcision post traumatic stress disorder??

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiit

I'm glad I've mostly fixed my Aspergers. Before I was 16, I was a creepy spergy freak. Around that age, I finally realised that that behaviour isn't acceptable. I became less fucked up. Now I'm just a mostly antisocial weirdo as opposed to a genuinely creepy weirdo. But I can pass for a normie at least, which is all that matters.

But beyond all else, I hate the neurodiversity movement, which wants to normalise the bullshit that is Aspergers. They don't want a cure for Aspergers. If I could cure my sperginess, I gladly would, because it's horribly impacted my life.

anyone else feel like they have aspergers except all the examples are way too extreme?

Like I have autistic impulses and am definitely not a normal person but I don't fucking obsessively collect baseball scores or something and I don't have an entirely flat or childlike voice

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i'm tired as well OP

i will literally never have a friend. i'm a girl with autism and i've never had a male or female friend. any interaction people have with me is just because they want to put their penis into me and that's it. and i don't even care about it because i'm not a man so sex is pointless to me. i wish i was never born, please just kill me.

i just don't even interact with humans anymore, fuck them. i have cats and weed and that's good enough for me.

>....
>wtf why does anon hate me?

Why do normies try and find meaning where there is none?

>>36513998
Do women really not enjoy sex?

>>36514021
it's alright but i assume it's moreso because i'm a girl with autism and not just a girl

>>36513943
same

when I was 14-16 I used to walk around the school staring at the ground and headbang at recess time with this one spergy friend I had. We both used to love lamb of god and children of bodom and basically all we would talk about would be their discographys.
I even unironically almost asked out a stacy at this time and thought I might have a chance.
then gradually my aspergers became less dominated by ramapant testosterone at that stuff eased off.
when I was 17-18 I started smoking weed and became a lot more chill and sociable. Weed really helped me socially at that time. It gave me that tiny bit of genuine empathy to have meaningful conversations with people.
However one time when I was 17 I took some really strong acid and became basically fully self aware of how much of an autist I was. It was genuinely the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced.

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>>36511460

I get these feels anon. It's hard to maintain friendships fuck even a job now a days for me. I got diagnosed at 16 too so I didn't get the learn how to deal with it early on shit. I'm learning as an adult and let me tell you I'm a friendless loner who stays at home and plays vidya.

I get you.

do any of the other autists here want to be my friend then? i am the one who is a girl though

i just really need a friend
please

do you guys ever think about how everyone deep down has the same consciousness because we all approach life from the same self-centered perspective? Yet if you think of yourself as just another person existing in the mind of another consciousness you can lose your inflated sense of self and become truly free to do what you want?

>>36514079
I would say yea but I'd probably just be trying to fuck you desu if you really are a girl. Better off without

>>36514049
I realize how much an autist I am when I smoke weed, but maybe I actually realize how much of psychopath/sociopath I am

>>36514088
how can we exist in someone elses reality if we know we are conscious and in fact it's one of the only truths we have?

i just hope we live in a simulation or something

>>36514126
we exist in someone elses reality because other people live in our reality. dubs do not tell lies

>>36514079
Yes want to play Madden?

>>36514111
thanks for being honest at least

i don't really know what else to do to find friends

i don't understand women at all and no men ever want to be friends with me

i feel as if i'm some autistic neckbeard reincarnated into a girl's body and it turns out it's actually just pretty shitty and terrible

>>36514137
how do we know that other people really exist though and are not just made up by us? how can you really know if another person is conscious like you are?

>>36514138
sorry dude i don't own any consoles or know anything about sports

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>>36514137
>>36514166
i just want to point out i got dubs and they were double 6's, the number of creation

clearly my dubs are the truth and we're just living in a simulated reality

>>36514166
Wow if people were just made up by us wouldn't that be so freeing? Then nothing they do can surprise you. I like to think of how if you had anybody's genetics and life experience, you would have their consciousness and end up making their decisions. This is a recent realization I had and it's really helped me understand people a lot better.

>>36514049
Nice, another spergy metalhead. I'm so glad I'm not as retarded about being a metal fan as I was when I was 14-15. I was so fucking stupid back then.

>>36514192
yeah but my dubs were 88's which transcends the biblical account of creation

>>36514079
Sorry anon, I unironically hate other spergs as much as I hate myself.

>>36514198
the thing is we would be unaware they were being made up by us, thus they would be unpredictable

it would be like being gods of our own would but having no idea that is what we are

i still think we are part of a simulation and likely some sort of hivemind

>>36514224
yeah but 6 is also what day my birthday is, and my birthday is on the day of epiphany in the bible therefore i'm right

>>36514255
wait so if you're getting dubs than I'm actually getting dubs. Also I'm right.
anyway no! There is no hivemind. Or maybe there is idk the point is everyone is the same deep down because everyone except the most enlightened people approach life like they're the only ones capable of true experience because every individual experiences life solely through their own perspective. Yet, our perspectives are wholly shaped by our genetics and life experiences. At the base of it all is the same pure, unmodified perspective.

>>36514329
i think we're a hivemind that is unaware it is a hivemind

we all want the same things but can't communicate easily with each other. i think the entire human race is just moving towards increasing our ability to communicate with each other easier like the internet, thus we will eventually evolve into a for real hivemind IMO

when you think about it, like 50 years ago if you felt lonely you could never just get on a machine and interact with a person, you just had to wallow in your misery and loneliness or go outside

>>36514367
what a fascinating idea. Except internet communication is entirely unfulfilling compared to same room interaction. You can post on 4chan all day long but still wallow in misery. Same with twitter and facebook. I'm not particularly thrilled by talking to you through this imageboard gui, but I'd probably be more stimulated if we were talking face to face, exchanging verbal words, noticing the subtleties of reaction

>>36514414
that's what i mean, i think in the future we will figure out how to develop the ability to reach out and "touch" and be close with people without actually being in the same room together

that effectively means we could interact with people all over the world in more meaningful ways

>>36514433
stop getting dubs! What country are you from? It's kind of early to be browsing from the states

>>36514463
the states

i'm sorry you said dubs were the truth so i guess our simulation world just keeps giving them to me lol

you did this yourself

If feel you mang. I can talk to people and function in day to day fine but sometimes I would just blurt out something absolutely retarded and people would look at me weird. The worst thing is that I dont even know what causes it. Im not diagnosed so I cant know whether its me being a legit sperg or a sheltered social retard.

>>36514079
Depends how spergy you are. I'm probably too far away to fuck you either way.

>>36514079
I am nice autist that does not want to put benis in anything or anyone. Gib contact pls.

>>36514510
here you go

http://steamcommunity.com/id/arcelia/

>>36514481
did you just wake up or did you never fall asleep? I never fell asleep because I got this shitty book review due in less than 4 hours and I still didn't finish the book. I guess I can wind it though, I'm good at that

>>36514522
i'm a NEET i'm always awake at night

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>>36511460
Hey OP, what is having aspergers like?

I know it's a weird question, but I've always been genuinely curious. Is there some way you can describe outside what I've already seen in this thread?
Pic unrelated

>>36514541
i'm not OP but it feels like being an alien living on a different planet

when i was a kid i was convinced that i was really an alien on the inside or something because i did not understand shit about being a human and interacting with other humans at all. also it's like all these sensory things are super fucking strong but you're the only one to notice them.

Wow is this aspergers? Do i have fucking aspergergers?. Shit that would explain a lot

>>36511460
jeff isn't autistic
if you listen to neutral milk hotel you can't be autistic

>>36514587
i used to listen to them and i have diagnosed aspergers

hate to break it to you friend

>>36514520
pizzacat pls go

>>36514595
(((diagnosed))) aspergers
hate to break it to YOU

>>36514607
yeah i was diagnosed with aspergers, why did you put a bunch of parentheses around it?

If you don't have aspergers you aren't a real robot

>>36514622
all im saying is
most people's lives are black boxes
and if you put nmh into it
you don't get autism out of it

>>36514671
yeah id probably agree to that

i didn't even like them that much to be honest, i only really liked just the song holland, 1945 because i'm a history sperg

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>>36511757
>The trick is learning to not care at all what others think of you.
Jesus Christ why did no one think of this before?

Guys, all you have to do is stop caring what people think of you! I did it and now I've been accepted into college! Women like me now! I have a diverse and well connected social circle! All I had to do was stop behaving in a socially acceptable way!

>>36514727
not caring what other people think of you can only numb you so much

you need like pot or alcohol or something to finish up the rest or you're still left with that overbearing human physical need to touch other people or be close with them and that will never happen as a sperg

>>36514079
Take your self-diagnosis back to tumblr.

>>36514819
sorry dude i was diagnosed aspergers

>>36511763
>Bazinga
Fuck off.

https://youtu.be/K8zOlpPUDCg
This video cured my autism give it a shot

>>36513998
>>36514079
Do you have discord? I don't think I'm autistic, but I know how you feel since I'm a girl who doesn't have any real friends.

>>36514079
I can be your friend and guck u too

>>36514928
i do but im on Steam more, do you have that instead? >>36514520

>>36514928
Stay the fuck away from autists. They are the most rude, mean little jerk you'll ever meet! They are pushy, invasive and noisey. They repeat shit until you snap.

>>36514947
I have steam, but I don't really use it. I'm always on discord though.
>>36514974
The closest thing I have to a real friend is someone I've known for years, we're not as close anymore, but she's autistic and very sweet. She can seem kind of rude and act stupid socially sometimes, but she doesn't mean it and is really at heart very nice and empathetic. I like to help her socially when I can and try to be patient.

>>36514520
Do you have an email? I'm a diagnosed sperg that's only ever had one true friend. I take time to get to know someone and prefer email initially. Won't be able to respond until later in the day.

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wow i tried to make friends on omegle and i was going to respond to her to say i was a girl too but she just put her kik username and left

i don't even know what this means, is she offering lewd stuff or something or do you think she would still want to be my friend?

>>36515103
I have a feeling you're having a laugh but if not, that's a bot m8.

>>36514541
Remember Councilor Troi from Star Trek? (just google it if you don't)

Imagine everyone you ever met had her powers. And the moment they find out that you can't sense people's emotions from miles away, they start treating you like an absolute retard.

That's what it's like.

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>>36515048
>>36515064
i don't feel comfortable with email i don't want to get signed up to porn sites
also i don't really use discord that often sorry

>>36515128
i'm not i genuinely thought it was a real person, now i feel even more sad

this is the next person i got, i don't think this is going very well for me

>>36514843
And I'm a Navy SEAL with over 300 confirmed kills.

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>>36515148
oh no ;_;

i don't even mind if they're a bot i just wish they would stay and be my friend

>having aspergers has driven me to nihilism
>mom is upset I don't care about anything anymore
>don't care what she says

Some days I wish I could feel again

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not even robots want to be my friend ;_;

>>36515148
Just a junk email. That's what I will use just not one that expires in one day cause I'm busy today. Oh well I can try steam later. If a steam user with one game contacts you later thats me.

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wow i finally found someone real

>>36515276
>are you a cat?
Cute

>>36515386
i've been talking to this for like 20 minutes now about how he is a cat lol

>>36511757
OMG THIS. Just be your self, OP!:)