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ITT: times where we almost died I'll start: >be me >play

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ITT: times where we almost died
I'll start:

>be me
>play vidya and watch animu all day
>after entire day of being curled up in my chair decide to go on a walk to stretch my muscles
>feelsgood.jpg
>I love taking walks, not only is it the most relaxing part of my day but it's also healthy
>also the only physical activity I do
>after taking a stroll to the river I head back home
>like always I'm lost in my mind, thinking about gay shit like the meaning of live etc.
>suddenly I hear someone loudly whistle and shout something
>turn around to see a guy in a car pointing to my right
>just as I look to my right a train passes by
>I didn't even notice a fucking train track in front of me
>if I didn't hear the guy I would've 100% gotten hit by that train
>I think the train might've been honking, but my brain didn't register that shit
>I just awkwardly gave him a smile and a thumbs up
>after the train passes I just cross the rails while the rail ramp is still lowered

I felt kind of numb after the whole experience. Like I wasn't scared at all, just felt kind of empty.
>>
>>36492924
You realized life is shit, dying isn't that big of a deal
>>
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>mum took off the hand brake on a hill/drivaeway when I was on front of the car and it rolled straight at me and destroyed the garage door
>jumped out of the way
>chasing a glove in the wind on a mountain and it flew off the mountain side and I nearly followed it
>tripped and thats what saved me from not running off a cliff
>stuck under my bed that had fallen apart. Was slowly being crushed to death
>dad saved me
>caught in a strong current at the beach
>saved by life guards
>suicide attempt Robin Williams style
>was drunk and got free

I wish I was less lucky. If I had died young I wouldn't fear death as much.
>>
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>>36492924
Pretty much every kevin turns into a chad desu
>going on a road trip with friends
>we chill out near this cliff that looks like its going to break any second
>dad calls me
>answer it while going to the place where i would jump off it
>OOOH HERE COMES BIG ASS KEVIN
>pushes me,HE FUCKING PUSHED ME NEARLY OFF THIS FUCKING CLIFF
>my phone falls down the cliff
>he starts laughing his ass off
>the others come
>i explain the situation
>we get out of there while leaving kevin behind
>he comes screaming at us
>toolate.jpg
>i give him the finger as we drive off
>realize his bag is in our car
>we start lmaoing like shit
>we stop the car
>stompt the everloving shit out of that bag
>set it on fire
>leave it there
And the rest went fine,also i still have those friends,
fuck you kevin
>>
>>36492924
T b h turns into desu for some reason,nice joke but it aint april 1st anymore r9k
>>
>>36493032
Not really, there is a lot to look forward to in life but that's not what I thought about when it happened. I was very apathetic towards the situation even though I nearly got hit by a fucking train, like I wasn't aware of how serious the situation was, even though I was fully aware. I didn't get any big revelation about how life is precious, just that I should pay attention when close to train tracks
>>
>>36493218
Not a joke, sorry
>>
Almost drowned once when I was a kid
>>
>>36493790
Greentext?
origano
>>
>>3492924
>be me, 11-13 i don't remember
>in more waterpark abroad
>im wanting to go down pic related
>dad told me to wait for either mum or dad to come along
>ask mum to witness me
>she says yes
>go up to the slide and ride that fucker
>hellyeah.psd
>drop into the bottom pool
>dude that was so cool
>...
>wait what way is up
>goggles fell off so i cant see shit
>struggle for about 30s trying to find the way up, now getting tired
>hit air
>attempt to breath in air but go under again
>half lung of water and struggling even more
>just about pull myself up
>parents come over once im out
>got the gall to blame me for going in

>fucking mum wasnt even watching
>>
>>36493163
>answer it while going to the place where I would jump off it
>nearly pushed me off the cliff
If you were going to jump what's the big deal?
>>
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>be 10-11
>little sister throws VHS tape(in the case with sharp ass edges) right in my face
>bruises my eyebrow and socket
>tiny cut in my eyeball
>get an infection in my eye
>only notice it a week or two after
>antibiotics, etc fail
>end up having to remove my eye

bitches and whores mayn
>>
>>36494018
How did you not rape your sister?
>>
>>36494018
pic or it didn't happen anon
>>
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>>36493939
another little tale

>be me, 15, pre divorced parents
>on cruise, going onto land for a biking tour of of barcelona
>really nice scenery, but the people, especially the drivers are MASSIVE CUNTS
>1hr in i'm going along to a crossing
>large stationary bus blocking view of other lane
>hear light honking in distance
>think nothing of it
>keep going
>big green double decker out of nowhere
>fight or fight engaged
>go fucking ham on the pedals
>drift on, BARELY making it
>think if i slowed or stayed at same pace i would have been flattened

>tl.dr people from barcelona are big cunts and tried to run me over :(
>>
>>36494052
I did yell at her but then she started crying and everyone took her side.
>>
>>36494018
Did you get an eyepatch or a glass eye?
>>
>>36494088
>eye gets surgically removed because dumb cunt threw sharp object at your face
>you get mad at them for ruining your life
>people actually defended her
Holy shit. Woman have it so fucking easy.
>>
>driving on a mountainous road towards my next job (contract work all over the state)
>cars in front of me going 20 in a 40
>see a dotted yellow line up ahead
>line of cars is longer than the dotted line, but there's probably no cars coming
>hit the accelerator and start blazing past
>6 cylinders of pure Acura RL FURY
>realize that there is indeed a car coming
>a big car
>it's a semi
>I'm not going to make it at my current speed
>I'm already in the oncoming lane
>there's no way I can merge back in, no space between cars
>hit the accelerator as hard as I can
>manage to JUST pull ahead of the car in the very front of the string of cars, right before the truck blared by me

At that moment I realized that I risked my life to simply save a few minutes of traffic. I don't do it any more unless I'm POSITIVE nothing's coming up ahead.
>>
>>36494105
glass eye and an implant attached to muscles so I can move it around.

>>36494121
I was just bleeding at the time. I've cut off contact with my family since then.
>>
>>36494088
Even after you lost a fucking eye? Not too late to kill them all, anon.
>>
>>36492924
>neet i was 19 yo masturbated in bed
>got hard again and masturbated three more times
>i was panting and sweating a lot
>get up and run to the bathroom to pee
>started to feel dizzy and pass out
>woke up in the bathtub full of water
>tried to get out but my arms were numb
>tought passed trough my mind
>what a stupid way to die
>little sister enters bathroom and helps me
>tfw almost died
>she just said what the fuck anon what were you doing
>didn't respond anything im a sperg with females even my sister
>go to sleep afterwards but my lungs hurt
>>
>>36492924
I almost die everyday from choking and near hear attacks
>>
>>36494255
Damn anon, are you diagnosed with something? That sounds very serious
>>
>>36494141
>when people in traffic would rather watch someone die than put on their brakes to let them in
What is wrong with society?
>>
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>>36494173
You should have kept the eyelid permanently closed so you can be like Guts.
>>
>2am on saturday
>standing outside looking at moon while tendies cook
>try to go back into house, accidentally bump in to glass sliding door
>hahathatwassilly.ogg
>take a step back, leg gives out and I fall on my ass
>haha I fell over that's so silly
>notice the giant hole in the glass door
>fuck
>notice that roughly half of my calf is missing and laying about a foot from where I'm sitting
>iamsofucked
>blood starts literally shooting out of my leg, prop it up against the other glass door to slow it down
>realize I'm probably going to die, loss of blood makes me light headed
>call 911
>crawl like a fucking retard on my back with my leg sticking up through the house to the bathroom leaving a snail trail of blood
>tie a pressure bandage with a towel, doesn't really help because the side of my leg has been completely shaved off
>feel no pain the entire time, try to stand up and fall on my ass, pass out
>wake up in the hospital with 50 thousand dollars in medical fees

turns out all the nerves from the knee down were cut, quad was completely cut in half (why I couldn't walk). Fun.
>>
>>36494224
Why was the tub full of water?
>>
>>36494289
I don't know what I have, because I can't afford a doctor atm, but I have trouble swallowing foods and sometimes shit gets stuck midway down the tube and feels as though I can chocking. And my heart starts racing randomly everyday, almost as if I had several cups of coffee and can get the point where it burns a bit(if that makes any sense)
>>
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I've probably posted these here before, but whatever.

>11 years old
>school sends my class to a swimming pool for lessons
>instructors say that any kid that isn't sure of whether they can swim should just jump into the deep end
>jump in
>nearly fucking drown
>terrified and helpless, flail about
>after what feels like an eternity, finally get rescued and brought to the surface
>nostrils and mouth still tasting awful pool water

>17 years old
>on a school trip to a seaside resort
>have to get changed into dirty wetsuit and uncomfortable gloves, helmet and life jacket
>everyone has to wade into the freezing sea then get into a circle in the sea and jump up and down repeatedly
>it's ok at first because I can stay above the surface
>get pulled the fuck down into the freezing saltwater by some bastard
>can't breathe
>afraid that I'm going to die
>terrified and helpless, flail about
>finally break the surface and yell "I'm drowning, I'm drowning!"
>eyes bloodshot, face covered in snot and saltwater and tears
>nobody gives a shit
>group is about to start another ridiculous dangerous activity
>protest, walk away to the shore, get changed and go back into the building
>at dinner later one of the guys that saw me mocks me by yelling "uu uu I'm drowning I'm drowning" in a mocking voice and bursting into laughter

I fucking hate water.
>>
>>36494416
Sounds like you have bad acid reflux and it has damaged your throat.
>>
>>36494485
How did you kill them all right then and there?
>>
>>36494416
Have you tried searching online for solutions? I know that most of the time it's not very helpful but if you can't afford a doctor it might be your best shot. Good luck anon!
>>
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>>36492924
>20 years old
>Have yet to almost die

I also don't go outside, and I'm very risk averse.
>>
>>36494393
probably my sister was about to take a bath never asked
>>
>>36494386
nah I open both eyes even with one eye
>>
>>36494545
Also the reason you passed out was because you fapped so much. All that blood rushing to your penis for so long. Almost anytime I have an intense orgasm I'm nauseous afterwards for 30 minutes. Ironically my most intense orgasms have been to 2D women.
>>
>>36494494
Does this have something to do with vomiting? If so then I havent done so in years.
>>36494533
I tried but all I get are symptoms of anxiety and minor heart palpitations but I know it is different. I'm not even anxious ;-;. But ty man
>>
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>>36494534
>tfw 21
>Never did stupid stuff

closest I got was drowning in a lake.
>>
Back when I was a kid and lived in Germany, I almost got ran over by one of those huge field tractors. On another occasion I almost got hit by a car crossing the street, someone else in my class actually did get hit and died that same week.
>>
>>36492924
>be me
>17 or so
>go to the doctor one week daily because of stomach pains
>takes her almost 4 days to send me to actual hospital
>in the hospital they use every single machine on me and probe me for the whole day
>results, we aren't sure but we'll prep you for surgery and see if appendicitis
>tfw 4 days is quite enough to die of that, and I had it, already perforated and all that sweet business...
>tfw later meet the doc who took 3.5days to get me to an actual hospital, she says, ohh look the kid who doesn't tell how much pain he is in...
>>
>>36494600
When you're young you usually do stupid stuff because you were instigated by other people, at least you're not easily manipulated
>>
>>36494569
is this real? if it is thanks for the info i tought i had diabetes
>>
>>36494018
Is your codename Big Boss now?
>>
>be me
>3 am smoking weed
>On top of one of those garages that have ten to fifteen stories with an open roof
>Hate life
>Sit on ledge
>Scooch towards drop until I'm almost falling off
>Friend I was with grabs my stomach and pulls me back
>"Haha you're too high anon"
>Forever regret I didn't jump
>>
>walk to school as usual
>find myself starting up at the heavens
>"am i dreaming, whats happening wtf?"
>try to get up but i cant move
>blackout
>wake up in hospital and apparently i was hit by a car and lost half of my blood

wish i would have died because life is nothing but suffering anyway
>>
>>36495038
You can just get high again and jump, no?
>>
Gonna tell a story about how I almost drowned and how I learned to swim
>10-11 years old at that time
>hot summer day
>went outside with my family and my best friend
>decided to do a picnic near a river
>me and my friend immediately got into the river
>river was pretty deep
>my family was a bit farther away from us
>they didn't even notice that we were away from them
>me and my friend start lying on our backs, floating on the water
>looking at the sky, completely ignoring our surroundings
>do this for 5 minutes
>decided that it was time to get out of the water
>me and my friend notice that we are in the middle of the river
>our feet cant reach the bottom
>we don't know how to swim
>autisticscreeching.mp3
>parents somehow didn't hear it
>me and my friend start to panic, no sight of my family
>river shore was pretty far away from us
>friend suddenly got on me
>friend starts to stand on my head
>I go underwater
>I start to swallow a shit load of water
>start feeling light headed
>friend falls off me
>stick my head out of the water
>throwing up water
>friend also starts drowning
>i decide to get to the shore somehow
>my friend starts groping me again and tries to use me as a lifebuoy
>i kick him in the face as hard as i can with my foot
>i somehow start swimming near the shore
>look back at my friend
>shit loads of blood coming out of his nose
>shit
>get to the shore
>look back
>friend nowhere in sight
>SHIT SHIT SHIT
>run to my parents throwing up water telling them that my friend is drowning
>dad goes in and saves him
>both of us spend 5 minutes throwing up all the water that we swallowed
>friend goes to the hospital
>I go home with my family
>never speak to my friend again since that day
>>
Same shit happened to me, it was a lady screaming ahhhh then I look to my right and the trolley almost hit me. Also my friend male almost got raped by 10 black dudes in the bad part of town but he took a cab to get out of there quick
>>
>>36495038
>forever regret I didn't jump
>can't arse himself enough to go back to a parking garage
Yeah you really wanted to die. Go post about how edgy and suicidal you are on your tumblr blog.
>>
>>36496109
The real question is what was a cab doing in a bad part of town?
>>
>>36493138
Around 28 death stops being scary
>>
>>36494018
>throw pen at younger brother
>sharp end isn't even pointing in direction
>ball point lands in his tear duct
>1 year later
>threw pen at sister in the same manner
>ball point went into her tear duct
2 times they narrowly could've lost an eye but luckily didn't
I've also had a stool thrown at my face down a flight of stairs that smashed into my face close to my eye
>>
>walking home from bus stop
>It's raining a bit, nothing intense
>Lady in unfamiliar car asks me if I want a ride to my house so I can be out of the rain
>I'm 200 feet from my house
>Confusion.jpg
>Happily decline and walk home
Not sure if I almost died or what would have happened. I was so innocent back then
>>
>>36494389
What the fuck anon
>american healthcare
>>
>>36492924

Two stories.

>be me
>be yesterday
>be mechanically inclined
>dad has a bad back, but new sports car after 13+ years of family cars since his previous sports car
>"can you help me install my exhaust son?"
>"of course dad"
>dad also mechanically inclined
>roll 2400 lb car onto ramps
>begin to jack up rear of car
>car rolls off front ramps
>be crouched down as a 2400 lb rolling ton of metal flies towards you still on the jack
>leave the jack under the car pumped up like an ass because your first thought is don't hurt the car
>put hand on bumper to stop car
>dad rushes around and stops it
>car stops moving, lower it off jack
>attempt again with wheel chocks, and jacking the front with the rear locked and in gear

Never again robots. Nearly becoming a statistic because of one mistake.

>be me, buying first motorcycle (inb4 hurrr death machine normie)
>save up money from wagecuck fast food
>buy bike
>own for six hours
>stop in traffic
>roastie rear ends me
>time slows as the thoughts race through your mind: "wtf" "wtf i just got hit" "wtf i just bought this bike" "wtf how bad will this be" all at once, but so slow at the same time
>thankfully she was only going 10-15mph
>motorcycle totaled, minor injury
>>
>>36497952
shit senpai did you get your bike reimbursed?
>>
>>36498182

Yeah, all in all got paid out triple what I paid for it. Put some of it away, used rest to buy another motorcycle a couple months later. No near death or even close call experiences on that machine in the few thousand miles I rode it.
>>
>>36494655
Are you dutch?
huisartsen zijn paardenslagers

Always try to get refered to a specialist, even if it is the wrong dpecualist you are way better of than a normal doctor
>>
>>36497952


Damn, I have a horrible deja vu with this one. Did you post those stories already? I clearly remember you posting this and some anon giving you shit because he could not understand what you wrote.
>>
>>36498605

Fuck never mind, just read the
>yesterday
Part.
>>
>>36498247
This is what I like to hear, gods speed anon
>>
>out with people drinking
>they dont really like you and just want to make you wasted
>they steal jaegermeister from a stand
>owner starts searching for it
>was already pretty fucked up
>they tell me to drink it quickly before the owner finds it
>do it
>lose memory
>apparently puked a few minutes later
>collapsed on way home
>wake up in hospital
atleast they called the ambulance
>>
>>36498605

Never posted that story before. And yeah, the car incident was yesterday.

>>36498652
Thanks anon. Had to sell that second motorcycle a while back, and I still regret it. Unable to get another for now. There is no freedom like the freedom of two wheels.
>>
>>36498429


It is also like this here in Germany. General medicine doctors are useless if you have something worse than a cold.
Also have a story fitting for this thread:

>one day sit in school and feel that there is a lump under my skin that was not there before
>decide that I will go to the doctor at some point, but not today
>end up going after a momth or something, lump does not show any signs of vanishing
>go to some young chick I used to get my usuall meds from
>she feels around at the lump and tells me that it is probably some water bubble, nothing too serious
>still tells me to go to a surgeon if I have time
>do not think much of it, I can handle water and hate surgeons
>dick around for another half a year
>shit is still not even remotely dissolved and even seems like it is growing
>end up going to the surgeon because this shit is getting annoying and I just want it gone
>he also feels around it and tells me that no matter what it is, it should be cut out
>get surgery right at the next day
>he pulls out a huge fucking lump
>go home and forget this shit, wound heals up quickly
>get call from surgeon one day
>he sent that shit to an analysis at some med university
>tells me to get my ass over immediately
>find out that I had cancer all along

I guess that counts as nearly dying.
>>
As most of you I also nearly drowned but I was a selfish cunt who nearly took my sister out with me by dunking her head under water struggling to stay afloat. We got rescued but my sister never looked at me the same again.
>>
>>36495356
Yoooo this real .
Scary
>>
>>36495960
You didn't do anything wrong. He was a bitch for pushing your head down.
>>
let's see

>had a stroke
>doctor's cleared me as fine when I was dying

>had bpm of 160 doing a research chemical
>almost overdosed on heroin

I got plenty of stories to tell if anyone is interested
>>
>>36496575
Im only 20 and honestly i dont mind if i die. Not trying to be edgy or anything i just see it as one of those things that if I die then ill be too dead to care anyways.
>>
>I escalated an argument with my dad a little too much one day
>he grabs me, pins me to the ground with his knee on my back
>other hand is pressing my face into the carpet
>he screeches into my ear demanding that I respect him or something
>My muffled screams and struggling like a bitch make it hard to breathe
>I start choking on my own saliva, tears streaming down my carpet burned face
>dad realizes he done fucked up at this point and releases me
>ends it by saying "glad you understand"

That was the first and last time he physicslly assaulted me. I must've said something really out of line for him to lose his temperament like that. I was a little shit back then so I probably deserved it.
>>
>>36492924
Know this feel exactly.
>>
>>36492924
I fucking hate how being absentminded/clumsy is portrayed as a cute trait in media. For me it's fucking debilitating and makes me suicidal.
>>
Had lots of near misses on my scooter. Too many really.
>>
>>36493939
>13
>being a fucking dumbass
you only have yourself to blame, you retard
>>
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>>36492924
>be circa 2005
>still a young kid 5-7 at the time
>go to the beach with family
>parents let me go in the water
>get swept away by the current
>can't remember it clearly but i end up on the other end of the beach
>scared and crying
>could have fucking drowned but i didn't
>walk all the way up and down the beach
>can't find parents
>oh yeah the whole time i was completely naked
>dick out and all, can't remember why
>2 young women that looked about 20 find me
>ask me what's wrong
>I tell them
>they take me to find my parents
>I'm in between them holding each of their hands
>practically forget i almost died
>>
I remember reading an anon greentext where he was playing in some kind of kiddie playbox that had a lid and some asshole kids shut it on him and then jumped ontop of it for ages. Just reading it gave me PTSD
>>
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>>36501219
>trying to rationalize a violent abusive, possibly narcissistic father's actions
Stop, you fucking retard.
>>
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>>36495960
>he can't swim on his back
>>
>>36501604
>2005
>5-7

So you're 10-12 now or am I retarded?
>>
>>36503808
You're retarded. If he was 7 in 2005, he's 19 now
>>
>Woke up naked in a bed
>see other people laying asleep naked in front and behind me
>these beds and people stretch out on both sides as far as the eye can see
>enter a door
>everyone is wearing White
>it's Jesus
>tells me it's not my time to go
>wake up
>jump out of bunk bed
>land in waist deep water
>wth is going on? I live on the 2nd floor of a duplex, why is there waist deep water here?
>it's completely dark, how do I get out of here?
>door slams open
>someone quickly grabs me
>we're running downstairs
>as soon as we take the final step, the entire duplex collapses

I was at the epicenter of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zfuz5WKR5So
>>
>>36504588
Shit, I am.
>>
>>36494018
bullshit Deathstroke I wanna see that shit with a timestamp
>>
>>36494141
The real problem here is that the cars next to you didn't let you fucking merge.

Anyways, that took balls. If I were you I would have pulled over or went off road or something-- not go head on towards a semi.
>>
>>36495960
how can you not swim at eleven years old desu senpai?
>>
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>born 6 weeks early
>underweight, weighed 4 lbs
>heart stopped right after I was delivered and I had to be resuscitated
>lived in an incubator for a week afterwards
God tried to take me as soon as life began, but normalfags wouldn't allow it. My life has been cursed because I am alive when I shouldn't be
>>
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>be like 8-9
>at mcdonalds play place
>minding my own business crawling through the tunnels, shit was cash
>as I round a corner a really obviously down syndrome kid rushes out from the opposite direction and knocks me on my back
>he scoots up and sits on my chest, I can feel the wetness and the smell is unbearable
>he is really fucking fat and I couldn't move
>before I can say anything he wraps his hands around my throat and leans forward with all his weight
>I wiggle but I can't get free, start crying and he just leans further and further forward laughing, his breath smells even worse than his body
>I can hear my mom call for me but I can't scream
>There's no hope, I'm going to die choked out by a tard in a plastic labyrinth where no one can help
>what I assume is his sister comes up and keeps telling him to get off me but he won't listen
>the rest of my memory is fuzzy probably from the lack of oxygen, I somehow got out and retaliated he ran crying to his mom
>missed my chance to waifu his sister who saved my life like some anime
>>
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My autism nearly got me killed
>about 7 or 8 years old
>around 9pm
>at home with my brothers, parents are out at dinner or something
>I'm sitting on the couch watching the news
>someone knocks on the door
>I go to the door and ask who it is
>It's the sheriff's department, but I misheard and got confused
>too spooked to ask again so I call my parents
>tell them that someone is at the door trying to get into the house
>they tell me to take my bros into a room and lock the door
>lock my brothers in the master bedroom closet because autism
Now this is what could've gotten me killed
>fetch my bb gun (one of those old Daisy ones) from my room and load it.
>peek out window, with gun in hand
>lots of people, see a couple of guns
>o shit
>book it down stairs and sit behind our couch aiming at the front door.
>sheriff(s) threaten to "come in" if they're not let in, multiple times
>end up sitting there with my "gun" drawn for about ten minutes
>realise something is up
>peek outside
>parents talking to what I now realise is a police officer
>turns out my youngest sibling called 911 for some reason, promoting officers to arrive on scene
Apparently they thought there was some kind of hostage situation going on after seeing me run around and being refused entrance. Had they breached the door, I likely would have been shot, which probably would've made national news lel
>>
I slid off the interstate going 80. I didn't even get hurt.
>>
>>36492924
>be 12
>dad takes me and brothers shooting
>gives little brother .22
>turn around to ask dad something
>turn back to brother
>muzzle of gun in my face, hear a click
>tear gun out of brothers hands
>there was a bullet in the chamber, the primer was struck
>tfw life saved by shitty ammo
>>
>>36505537
The .22 would have just bounced off bro. You left out the important part of the story, the fuck is wrong with your brother?
>>
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>19, work 12 hour shfit, come home
>panic attack cause ex-gf is already fighting with me
>ex-gf starts fight with me while I'm panic attacking
>she is on some next level petty bitch shit, not logical, just to make me upset
>take 2 klonopin, doesn't help
>she continues to berate me
>take a shot of tequila to make klonopin stronger
>one shot turns to 4, turns to 5 turns to 8 while fighting
>black out, while arguing
>she leaves
>apparently while I'm blacked out, I take a steak knife to my legs and cut huge gashes in them
>break shit in my apartment
>pass out on the ground, bleeding out
>gf comes back, she can't wake me up
>call ambulance, paramedics are slapping my face can't wake me up
>4 breathes a minute
>wake up with breathing tube down my throat

didn't really intend to kill myself, black out me apparently wanted to die though, sometimes I wish she never came back and I would have died without even knowing
>>
Same thing happened to me OP when I was like 13, I was walking on the railroad tracks near my house doing graffiti and bullshitting around by myself like usual (I think I was also listening to my iPod like a fucking idiot) and I randomly turn around and there is a train like 500 feet away from me! Fortunately it was not going fast and I got out of the way with no problem. But I NEVER walk ON the tracks anymore or listen to music when I'm around trains.
>>
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>>36504588
>people born in 1999 are old enough to post here
>>
>>36505271
Look at it as opportunity,say fuck death,and fuck life in the ass. You can do it anon
>>
>>36505745
Maybe she attacked you with the steak knife and fled?
>>
>>36505855
no she didn't I know for sure based on the cuts, and she is not violent
>>
>>36505625
>bullets bounce off faces
lol
My brother was just kind of a stupid.

>>36505443
h o r r i f y i n g
>>
I almost died but it saved my life in the long run

tl;dr - abuse steroids, really take the piss, get heart issues, discover undiagnosed birth defect
>>
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>>36497022
When I was 7 or 8, I was invited by a small mexican child to come play in the van that he and his family lived in. I went over to my mom and asked her if I could join him, and she promptly called the police. My family and I enjoyed a picnic while the driver (father?) was put into handcuffs. My mom told me a few years later that the cop told her he was an illegal immigrant.

Little churrito got his dad deported, all because he asked a white kid to play
>>
>be me, 7-8, in school
>standing on chair taking down decorations or something
>some fuckwit pulls chair out from under me
>hit the back of my head on tile floor from ~6 feet of height
>don't tell teachers or anything, just put chair back where it was and started taking decorations again
Would a fall like this be lethal to a 7-8 year old? I'm not really sure if it counts as a bear-death experience
>be me, same age as head-hitting incident
>riding bike in middle of road
>without a helmet
>go into sidewalk
>go back on road
>car immediately hits me
>black out
>wake up, surrounded by firefighters (they looked like firefighters and there was a fire truck there, wtf)
>they put me in an ambulance
>take me to hospital
>have huge fucking knot in my head
>feel fine, I just couldn't use my leg for a few days
Is it normal to survive something like that?
>last story
>be 12, in Atlanta for vacation
>in a hotel
>on the top floor, there's a hot tub and pool
>do this thing where I go underwater for as long as I can in the hot tub and then come back up and inhale really deeply before doing it again
>keep doing this thing
>suddenly
>a wild cloud of gas appears!
>come up to inhale
>lungs burning insanely, I can barely breathe
>start coughing, can only take really shallow breaths
>think to myself: "This is it."
>FUCK.jpg
>go inside hotel room
>take really long shower, in a day I'm back to normal
>the Center for Poison Control (my dad called them and they were the ones who told me to take the shower, the steam would clear the shit out of my lungs) told me my lungs were permanently scarred or something like that, or maybe my dad told me that
>go to bed
>afraid I'd die in my sleep because I still couldn't take deep breaths
>wake up next day
>totally fine
I thought it was chlorine that I inhaled at first (there were these bubbles that came up in the hot tub, and they smelled like what I inhaled when they popped) but that would've killed me outright. Anybody know what it might've been
>>
>>36498701
>getting so drunk you have to go to the hospital

Literally the worst patients.
>>
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A couple times actually

>live in a bad area 13 or 14 yo
>Section 8 housing
>all the crime in city is in my street
>walk outside
>driveby shooting happens
>almost gets shot
yes the american memes are real
>play vidya for a week straight (like 170 hours) with only 4 hours of sleep
>can barely breathe and barely ate
>collapses on my keyboard
>wakes up 2 days later
>nobody even checked on me besides my internet friends
I had a few generic tryhard tumblr attempts don't bully
>tries to kill myself in middle school twice
>couldn't slit my wrist so I take my mom's meds
>she has the highest potency since she's very ill
>passes out and wakes up with a migraine

Also, there was a time one of my mom's estranged boyfriends pulled out a gun and tried to shoot me but there was no ammo in the gun. It was very surreal, he was so calm and a lot like the Facebook shooter a while back (black, well built and extremely cold) and in that instant I knew he could've killed me and felt not a shred of remorse.
>>
>>36494141
Yep happened to me at 15 as a passenger in an idiots car. Nearly flattened by a semi as well. Nearly drowned on 2 different occasions, blacked out while drunk and barely survived the trip to the hospital. WEW LADS
>>
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>>36492924
>live alone
>got heavily drunk one night
>decided to go take shower
>get in shower
>stand under water for a bit
>eventually throw up
>slip on it and hit my head
>decide I can't stand and just lay back
>sleep finally hits
>figure I probably have a concussion
>sleep anyway
>somehow don't die
>wake up covered in piss blood and puke
>>
>about 10-12 yo
>robot from early on
>there were a couple social pompous neighour kids who'd play with me sometimes, usually in the yard in front of my block
>stuff was mostly concrete and cement, basically a parking, as was with most other things
>one day invite me over to their yard
>we have this game called "blind granny" where one has to play retarded and search for the others with his eyes closed while they hide (and run away like the bastards they are)
>guess who's fit for the job
>go up to a wall and count to 20, then start feeling around
>where the fuck am i going
>groping the wall and shimmying along it
>vestibular apparatus vomits
>air gets knocked out of lungs
>i'm sitting on my ass now
>open eyes to see i've fallen down a three-meter deep unsecured stairway leading to basement and had done a perfect frontflip not to land on my head
>struggling to breath, drag myself upstairs
>the fuckers were watching the entire time with this expectant look like holy shit, did he die?
>told them to fuck themselves
>no friends
>>
>>36506930
Lol das funnies xb
>>
>>36507025
I don't get it explain you newfag fuck
>>
I'm no good story teller but when I was a kid I almost drop off a 20+ meter cliff, down into the sea full of giant boulders, I mean death.

I don't know why, I was somewhere with my parents walking up a seaside mountain path? But I got left behind, got off the path and wanted to see the view below the edge a couple of meters away.

I approached really carefully, I took a look, it was like waves splashing and rocks and boulders, I remember the view fondly, even after 20 years. Then I turned around to return to the path,

but oh man, there was fucking gravel on the ground, and at one point I started to slide along with the gravel outward towards the edge.

I fucking froze, didn't move.

The sliding lasted for a second and IT FUCKING STOPPED!!

I looked down on my feet and I was literally 20-30cm from falling down into my fucking death.
I immediately started walking slowly away from the edge and into safe ground.

I never told anyone.. Thanks guardian angel. I owe you one
>>
>>36493218
>he doesn't know senpai
>>
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>>36505443
Dude... You win this thread
>>
>go to get dinner from sub shop across the street from me
>random find walks up to me
>pulls out a gun, pistol whips me on the head
>proceeds to punch me in the face a few times
>he asks for my wallet, I refuse
>he points the gun at my head
>starts leading me out the back of the restaurant
>reach into my pocket when we're outside and pull out pepper spray
>empty entire can into his eyes, knee him in the face, run away and call cops
Maybe I was about to get deep six'd, or maybe he was just trying to scare me into getting what he wanted.

I don't think cops ever caught him, but it was a random nigger in a city that's like 50% nigger, I didn't expect much.
>>
>>36507139
>Oh, so you're afraid of heights and ledges? Fuckin pussy, pshhh, what a wuss
>>
>>36507356
You should have taken his gun and unloaded it into his head. You did fear for your life, didn't you?
>>
>>36506958
Know that feel to an extent
>friends want to go to other friends house
>I don't
>playing hide and seek instead
>I'm the seeker
>look around neighborhood for probably hours because I'm autistic
>they went to friends house

Don't worry this green texts still on topic as I constantly have an underlying distrust of my friends and it'll probably contribute to my eventual suicide
>>
>>36507703
Aw, anon...
Same here, though. I only am ocassionally social as to not have them become enemies. But certainly not hanging around friends for pleasure or shit
>>
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>be around 17
>fucking around with drugs like any other loser teenager
>friend got us some LSA seeds (hawaiian baby woodrose
>decide to just chew and swallow the seeds instead of extracting it into a tea like youre supposed to because dont have the time for that
>chew 7 seeds because 7 is my lucky number
>friend tells me 7 is too much for a first time but tell him its my lucky number
>high is pretty good
>friend has to go to work (hes sober)
>just go to work with him and chill out, avoiding eye contact with anyone due to extremely dilated pupils
>place is pretty much empty, go up to friend and just talk to him about shit
>suddenly feel fuzzy
>vision starts to get fuzzy and dark
>gets to a nauseous point and just walk away from my friend to relax
>sit on chair, vision is getting fuzzier
>friend starts walking up to my singing pokemon theme song which was playing on the radio (it was a frozen yogurt restaurant for children)
>get that tingly crawling bugs feeling you get in your limbs when they're asleep but in my brain and eyes
>ears start ringing
>friend is concerned about me not answering him
>black out
>just my subconscious in blackness, looking back on memories, like as if im just sleeping or something
>suddenly conscious for a moment, cant really see anything but here my friend say "anon? anon? dude you just had a seizure"
>black out again
>suddenly wake up to vomiting all over myself, multiple times, while some black family walks in and just ignores me
>friend tells me i just had three consecutive seizures and thought i was fucking dying
>look outside and its dark even though it was light out when i first blacked out
>friend goes into the back of the store to get a mop for all my puke, just go into the bathroom and clean up all the vomit from my clothes and face
>our other friend comes down to see me because friend told him what happened
>friends comfort me then complain about me smelling like vomit for the rest of the evening
Don't do drugs kids
>>
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>>36507546
>thinking that self defense by lethal means is allowed in any city
That's wishful thinking right there, if the nigger pressed charges against the anon for pepper spraying him anon would probably go to jail
>>
>be me aged 10/11
>at some shitty birthday party for some middle aged family friend
>huge helium balloons everywhere
>decide to do that thing where you inhale helium and it makes your voice higher pitched
>inhale an entire balloon full of helium in a single breath
>mum's friend says you're only supposed to inhale a tiny bit
>feel fine so just ignore her and go over to get some food
>start feeling pretty wavy
>find my mum and tell her I'm feeling weird
>she doesn't take me seriously and says i just need to calm down and get some air
>can barely stand up or form coherent sentences
>black out
>wake up on the floor outside surrounded by strangers waiting for an ambulance to come and pick me up
>apparently I replaced basically all they oxygen in my body with helium
>could've died if i had gone back to sleep after passing out the first time
It didn't even make my voice sound any different. Fuck helium I'm glad Earth is running out of it
>>
>>36492924
>be me
>11 years old
>Trying to get something out of a plastic package with a pair of scissors
>Scissors slip off the package and towards my face
>I'm able to stop it within an inch from going into my eye

Never fucked with scissors again
>>
>>36508972
You must have already had a pretty squeaky voice
>>
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i had my fair share of childhood near-death/severe injury. most were in early childhood because by the time highschool came around i had already become a NEET.
first
>be me
>be young
>have dumb friends
>idea.jpeg
>pile all of the couch cusions at the bottom of the steps.
>the there is a vertical trap door that allows acess into lower floor celing. this results in a very low point in the celing over the steps
>we all are jumping to the bottom just fine
>my turn
>be taller than average
>jump
>hits jutted out celing corner thing and split my head open on the steps.
>be knocked out with huge concussion and minor brain damage

second
>be a little younger
>still hang with stupid friends
>rich friend
>community is on a hill
>at his place riding bike as fast as possible down hill
>old wedge ferrari turns corner and driving towards us
>no time to turn so i pull only front brake on bike >ohshitnigger.gif
>hurdle off the front of the bike landing face first on street.
>slowly skid to halt while clothes rip
>friend hits ferrari head on
>breaks windshield
>the car was slightly damaged before (dents dings and scratches)
>manages to blame it on us
>his parents pay huge amounts of money to ferrari asshole
>freind broke neck, leg wrist, +concussion

third
>be younger
>super young
>6 maybe?
>jumping on couch while mom isnt looking
>tries to jump to the other armrest
>manage to make the jump but fall forward
>old saltwater fishtank on floor because ghetto shit
>corner hits right above right eye
>like right outside it
>20+ y/o tank shatters and land in glass
>mom doesnt realize untill half hour later
>needed blood because i lost so much

fourth
this story was told to me, i have no memory because of howyoung i was
>learned to stand
>happily babbleing toddlerese swaying back and forth
>fall down
>fall into nail
>nail hits forehead, jumps eye, cuts nose and rips open cheek
>before it was stiched i could be fed through hole in my cheek
>>
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>>36509811
cont. because this thread is slowing down
fifth
a little less life threatening, but spergy and still causes problems now (headaches if i look at a screen too long, eyesight blacks out randomly, feinting for no reason)
>be me
>in "science" based charter school filled with sand niggers
>be autistic
>be in chess club
>super beta
>200+lbs no muscle
>goat fuckers playing soccer in parking lot
>want to be cool
>coming out of chess club
>ball rolls to me
>i try to kick the ball
>my foot rolls over the ball
>falling backwards
>thisiswhereidie.avi
>look pathetic falling backwards
>full body is in the air
>first contact
>hit my head on back of sidewalk
>all 200+lbs of body fat smash back of my head
>unconsious for a short time
>awake now
>try to get up
>on my feet
>try to laugh it off
>legs give out
>hit head on sidewalk again
>blood now and unconsious again
>mom pulls up
> no one can pick me up and get me to the car because they are laughing to hard or cant hold my weight
>teacher comes up and puts me in the back seat of moms car
>wake up and start planning funeral out loud to mom
there video of a few parts of this somewhere but i have no way to contact those kids any more.
>>
>>36494389
Were the tendies okay?
>>
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>>36510069
sixth for bumping purposes
>be me
>sitting in garage doing science project
>cuting coffee can with brand new boxcutter razor blade
>brand new blade, i had just gotten a full tool kit from rich aunt
>cutting towards myself
>blace slips and guts across the road
>the road was my wrist
>blade gets stuck
>wrestle blade out of my wrist
>cause more damage then good
>blood was dark and almost squirting
>running around garage panicing getting blood everywhere
>mother hears me freaking out in garage
>she comes in
>get bleeding under control
>she tells me the doectors are gonna cut my hand off
>i start panicing more and crying
>she gets a sewing needle and sews it together herself
>mfw my mother sewed my wrist so she could save extra cash
>mfw i still am terrified of the ER
>mfw i have avoided doctors for 10 years
>>
>>36501219
Glad you understand Anon
>>
>be 9
>school winter trip to the mountains
>mandatory cross country skiing trip
>3rd group of the day
>finally get to the end area
>eat lunch
>run off to play
>come back
>everybody but 4 kids are gone
>panic
>everyone tries to figure out which direction the teacher went
>decide to just keep walking in a random direction
>nothing but fresh snow and trees
>keep going
Luckily we ended up back on the main path but we could have been going in any direction
>>
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>>36509811
>>36510069
>>36510269
Holy fuck dude how are you still alive
>>
>>36505979
>tl;dr is longer than primary comment
>>
>>36505979
Greentext please?
Orig
>>
I have a pretty lame story but putting it out anyways

>be 8-9
>in school
>running around school yard
>the entire yard is covered in concrete
>somehow I end up falling
>hit head directly on concrete
>lightheaded.jpg
>dizzy.png
>blurryvision.wmv
>cry like a little bitch, we lived in a small town so one of the teachers drove me to the local hospital
>end up getting stitches, again cried like a little bitch
>doctor says if I hit my head a little bit stronger I would've been dead (probably bullshit but whatever)

This is only one of the many times I bashed my head against hard objects, sometimes I wonder if the reason I'm such an autist is because my head had so many concusions
>>
>>36509811
>by the time highschool came around i had already become a NEET

Your intuition on what neet means is incorrect, like >>36505979 and tl;dr desu
>>
I have alot of stories i will bump thread for awhile.
Heres one while i type out other shit

>just born
>maybe between 6 months to 18 months old
>walking around for first time
>hahaha this is fucking awesome im walking like my giant parents
>mom went out to front porch she will be in alot of stories
>leaves the front door open
>walking near it and fall face first into the corner of door
>huge gash on forehead
>apparently i bled alot and my mom didnt want me to get stiches
>argues with doctor for an hour while they just hold a bandage over my head in ER, replacing it whenever it gets too red
>one of the nurses gets upset and just uses medical stapler to staple wound shut
>mom goes oh ok thats fine as long its not stitches
>staples are more likely to leave a scar
>have a big scar on my forehead like harry potter to this day
Cont
>>
>went drinking and crying in my vacation home with a m8
>got so drunk I couldn't walk
>literally crawled through the snow
>tried to get up by climbing up a neighbor's fence
>fell over the fence and almost got impaled
>the mate tried to help me but just fell over me
>got sandwiched between the dude and the fence
>we didn't get up for like 20 minutes until my granddad arrived and helped us
>>
>>36494224
It's hypotension, you got up too fast after lying down too long and lost blood pressure in your head

I got this once with a similar scenario, I was waiting to use the shower lying on my bed (probably fapping too), once the shower was free I got up and ran to the bathroom to beat my sister to it, started showering, the hot steam and the running made me pass out. It's like an enclosed cubicle shower with tiled walls and one side is a glass door, I woke up lying on the floor of it with my legs out of the cubicle, and my sister banging on the locked door asking if I was ok and they heard a noise. I blearily mumbled I was fine and continued showering. Had a huge lump on my head afterwards though.
>>
>>36511191
>later that night the mate stole a $30k car
>crashed it somewhere
>the seat next to the driver's got destroyed
>luckily I didn't go with him but instead went home
>my mom had to carry me up the stairs even though I'm twice as heavy as her
>puked and cried for the rest of the night
>>
>>36492924
Well i had a seizure about a month back i think. I was working in a retail store back then, glad i didnt shit my pants, i hear people do that quite often if they have epilepsy. The cause for the seizure never was made clear either since brains and eeg were both normal.
>>
>>36492924
>be me
>need to get out of the house
>later in the day
>tired from previous work n shit
>on a longboard
>curve around a bend, got beats playing, not paying much attention because tired + music
>car slams into me and i go flying
>miraculously, two things happen
>one: my body is perfectly situated on the board to be knocked into the air but not harmed
>two: my childhood karate kicked in and i landed fairly well, no trauma
>escaped with sprained ankle and bruises
>could've been a stain on the road that day
>>
>>36511106
>be me maybe 5 or 6
>driving in car with my two uncles and three cousins
>we were fucking around in backseat with out seatbelts idk play fighting or messing around cuz its a very roomy car
>driving on one these things in pic related cuz live in big populated city
>its a one lane thing and alot higher in the air than the one pictured on my post
>theres a bend and my uncle makes the turn waaay to sharp
>we ramp off the concrete side rail
>lose control and ramp off the concrete gaurd rail on other side of rail
>we freefall maybe 50 or 75 feet onto the roof of a grocery store
>me and my cousins are floating like a zero gravity plane thingy you know what i mean
>youngest cousin dies on impact he was like 2 years old
>i break both legs as we crash through into the cereal isle
>crawl out and cut myself on glass and shit
>pass out from pain a few feet from the mangled car

My other cousins broke their limbs and got cuts an stuff but my younger cousin died from blood loss.
Not sure but i heard he got gutted open.
My uncles got out unscathed somehow.
>>
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>>36511370
You've got me interested, go on...
>>
>>36511440
This shit isnt pretyped ok ill skip to a short one while i get another one typed up when i get the details all organized in my head
>another time driving in car with dad
>older now maybe like 15 or something
>driving when my mom calls for the fourteenth time
>my dad gets pissed and answers after it rings one too many times (they were divorced when i was 2)
>we were on the freeway
>some jackass cuts two lanes over right in front of us
>my dad is a good driver cuz its his job pretty much so when he looks back up he jerks the wheel to the right just in time so that we hit the corner of his bumper
>we do donuts all over the highway
>like we spin 5 or so times maybe more
>animeleekspin.png
>if my mom hadnt called he would have seen it in time to not get in that accident lol

You may think this is bs you wouldnt have died
>we were going 70 mph
>while e spinning out some dude in a shitty old civic side swipes us
>actually he hit because the passenger side is what he hit
>my leg breaks badly and bone is poking out
>guy that swiped us isnt so lucky
>my dad walks over and visibly recoils
>dude starts screaming a few second laters

I never saw but the guys shitty civic was yes, very very shitty.
His engine block landed in his lap and burned through his stomach.
Dad said that would have been us if we hadnt turned in time to hit the corner of the lane changing assholes car.
>>
>in elementary school
>primary school for you Euro lads
>playing with small group of friends
>we called it zombie tag or something
>if you got shot by finger guns like 50 times you had to fall down for 20 seconds
>anyway thats unimportant
>im chasing this this kid Frederick through the play yard and he jumps over a low brick wall
>im a retard and fuck it up
>both my legs have metal plates but my left shin didnt
>fucking trip and cut my shin wide open on the jagged corner of the brick wall
>they took out the bloody rubble out and replaced with new bricks that made a rounded corner after this
>Its a recurring trend but i pass out from pain, again
>wake up and surgeon says dryly
>"i have a feeling we will be seeing each other alot"
>this sticks out in my head because i never see him again as i never have another injury like it again
Thanks for saving my legs three times doctor Paul
>>
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Its funny but i havent talked about these incidents so much, most of these were for the first time.
>ive been mugged four times
>after the 2nd week of freshmen year i was forced out of my all white school into 3 different schools over the course of 3 years because of poor grades
>this was after i was blamed for raping a girl in my year coincedence?
>thats another story
>not much has changed from the norm in my life, im still alone but i start buying weed from a druglord
>that comes later
>one day i have no weed and am walking around
>ask a tall kid that transferred from brooklyn NYC for weed
>uh can i get a 10 sack tyronne, thats all i got
>he looks at his friends and laughs
>his two buds take out pocket knives
>he looks me in the eyes and says to give him all my cash
>im taken aback
>i give him 10 bucks
>"Look white boi we aint fuckin stupid the houses across manchesta are foo' of white crackas!"
>nig 2 says
>"ya white kid now we gotta fuck you up for short changin us little bitch cant do shieeeet"
>he bring the knife back faaar and because im in shock i just watch as he punches it right into my gut
>they take my bag
>pass out
>wake up
>lol theres a knife in my belly man
>wobble to front office
>just say
Please help me
>sit down in chair next to door and doze off after they freak and call 911

The knife had prints, plus i picked out their faces from a school year book (kek)
I never had to go to court but i assume they got charged as adults for attempted murder and robbery
More to come
>>
>>36505745
Sure she didnt try to kill you?
>>
>>36512062
>Look white boi we aint fuckin stupid

>Leaves knife in random guy's belly
>>
Let me know if youre lurking or if im talking to the void, im having fun typing these out, questions and non believers are welcome.

>i get put into witness protection because the cops think the other black kids will kick my ass for "snitching"
>now im in Venice
>the epicenter of crime and degeneracy in my town
>well more like one of many epicenters
>i ask the druglord i mentioned earlier if i can sell for him
>he agrees
>>
>>36505271
My mother tried to abort me 3 times
>>
>>36508106
What happened to the black familly?
>>
>>36495960
Why do so many people seem to never get taught to swim? It's a standard necessary thing, i don't know anybody who wasnt a comfortable swimmer before they were 10.
>>
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>>36512126
>i start selling things like meth and xanax and weed
>he gives me cocaine and pain meds as payment sometimes
>i was a lost kid so i was just doing whatever drugs he gave me for free when wed meet up
>few months later
>one friday i made like 135 dollars
>sold out pretty much
>one guy bought meth from me and snorted it on the lunch table
>then looked up at me and bought more
>hah anyway im walking home the short way to my bus stop because my new school is really far from my grannies
>litterally just an alley that goes all the way from rear entrance of school to the stop a mile or two down the street
>hear some one following me
>hes wearing a mask and bagging his pants
>in my town we have whats called color gangs
>you wear red bandana or blue for what gang ur in
>kid had red bandana hanging out his waist band
>i was being fucking cased oh my god what do i do
>he yells hey and i turn around to face him
>pulls gun out his waist band
>"dont move"
>"put your hands up man"
>can tell now the guy is mexican and younger than me
>like a full head shorter than me
>dont raise my hand
Look if you want my wallet ill give it to you
>"just shut up white boi you talk alot, shut up"
>slowly put hand in pocket
>he steps closer pistol leveled against my temple
Ok ok just my wallet boss juuust the wallet
>take it out and drop it by my feet
>bend down
>i have a shiv under my shin high sock
>just grab wallet
>hike up my jeans with my thumb and grab it
>come up with full force and all my weight and shove it deep up his neck through the bottom of his jaw
>hes frantic and enraged im already latched on to him and bend the gun in a way that it streches his trigger finger till he lets go
>i wait 3 minutes as we both fall over for him to stop struggling
>grab gun and take knife out of his corpse
>>
>be me, 2014
>suicidally depressed
>ate two entire XL pizzas, which shouldn't be physically possible
>went to bed, sleeping on my back
>woke up in the middle of the night, coughing
>my lungs filled with stomach acid while I was sleeping. I had to exhale acid out of my chest
>almost passed out from suffocation
>throat remained sore for a week
>no longer suicidal
y'hear that? if you ever feel like killing yourself, eat until you vomit in your sleep and almost die from it. then all will be fixed.
>>
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>>36512357
>throw it all into the ocean a few miles down the road from my normal bus stop
>stop selling
>druglord demands all the money i made that week or hell have me killed
>fuck ok just please leave me alone
>never caught
>drop out and my mom makes me go to a n "adult learning center"

Anyone care if i keep posting?
Im burned out and theres still more.
>>
>>36512481
Please continue. Also what happened to the Mexican kid? Did he survive? Did you get caught? When did this happen? So many questions
>>
>>36512357
For the love of jesus, stop posting already. Fuck.
>>
>>36512536
i dont know if he survived, and no i was never caught like i said.
there was plenty of blood but those alley's are people backyards so im sure someone found him and called 911
There was something on the news about a gang related knife fight near my school and i got really scared but nothing happened.
I got a call from one of two people i talked to at the school and he said that people were all buzzing about me being gone and that the "Orginal Crip OG's" or something were looking for me.
I only left my house for school or manga and never anything else after that but again, no police, no gangs and its been more than a decade now.
>>
>be sad
>closet suicidal
>parents go overseas traveling
>get drunk and attempt to hang myself from the ceiling fan with my belt
>belt breaks
>fall asleep
>wake up in a hospital room
apparently neighbor called cops thinking someone broke in cause I live in a niggerhood mixed neighborhood
>can't move out the house and parents check on me every hour
>>
>Playing in elementary school playground
>Climbing tree next to a fence that separates the playground from a housing complex
>As I'm climbing up the branch I'm trying to step on breaks under my weight
>I fall and impale myself on the wooden fencepost.
>I remember groaning for a brief period of time before losing consciousness remember hearing one of my friends screaming.
>Woke up in the hospital somehow still alive.

My parents sued the school.

Surprisingly being impaled doesn't hurt as much as you think it does. I remember feeling a lightning flash of searing pain in my abdomen and then nothing and I just faded out of consciousness.
>>
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>be me
>3 or something years old
>in a chair rollie thingie (I don't know the name)
>fucking around with the heavy ass tv for some stupid reason
>managed to somehow push it off
>the tv lands on top of me
>the chair thingie saves me by taking the impact from the tv
>if I wasn't in that chair thingie I would've gotten crushed

Oh, and I almost choked to death on a grape when I was 4 or 5. I don't remember that though. My dad said he was the one who got the grape out of my throat while my mom and brother did nothing but scream and panic.

Also, tv looked like pic related but around 3 or so times the size
>>
>>36512568
ill post one more then and you might like it more
skipping over me being mugged again by a grown man and getting stomped ill go to something more the other anons can relate to.
>be me
>no talents
>no friends
>no worthy skills other than drawing my own hentai
>my mom has been a cunt all my life
>sleeping with a lot of men when i was a child so i learned how to make food on my own and stuff since my dad couldnt be around after the divorce and court said he wasnt allowed to see me much
>she didnt care much about me is what i mean
>we were living with her boyfriend
>they talked or something one night and the next morning told me it was time for my big adventure out into life as an adult
>"youll learn lots of lessons anon im sure of it"
>i sleep on the park bench that night
>i was homeless for 3 years
>doing drugs with other bums
>i was already autistic and a weird outcast so i thought to myself i was meant for this
>whoever runs the universe made me a hobo because it was who i was meant to be eventually
>i accepted it and gradually lost my mind
>i was raped
>ive been robbed while sleeping
>and i nearly starved a few time
>i went months without food before i finally gave in and ate from the garbage
>one day when i was 22 or 23 i slept in front of a grocery store after the police found my long time camp on a freeway
>its hard to explain but there was a small area with dense trees and grass in the middle of a cross section of 5 o 6 different highways
>i walked in the next morning with the clothes on i had at 18
>dirty and bearded
>i was stared at of course
>i walked over to the front end manager and asked if i could have work
>"um, alright come here"
>takes me aside
>"have you had a job?"
>"do you have any money?"
>"do you have an address?"
>no no no
>he hires me after he talks to the store manager
>they pay for a motel until i rent my hangar
>get a car eventually
>still work there today at 32
cont.
>>
>>36494545
I can just imagine you passed out 1/2 way in the tub where your sister was going to take a bath with your dick caked in jizz and your shorts on your ankles while you sing cruel angel's thesis in your head.
>>
>>36512298
ye, suprises me too
>>
>>36512695
Oh, and another thing, my dad almost accidentally killed me when he was playing with me as a baby. He accidentally flinged me across the room and I landed on my head.

[Spoiler] maybe that explains why I'm a stupid shut in neet [/Spoiler]
>>
>>36512773
>I forgot how to spoiler text
Yep, I'm officially retarded.
>>
>>36512734

you're a fucking liar stop LARP'ing and taking attention away from people's real experiences.
>>
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>>36512734
Anons the world is unfair and will try to kill you.
But if have enough in you to survive, to go out and try your hardest to live then you can reach a day you wont ever have to sell drugs or eat garbage.
I grew up poor, and i still am poor.
But i have my freedom, my alcohol and a car, weed.
You know things that let me enjoy what is left of my life.
I just wasnt ready to die i guess, i always thought about letting the world just finish me off or finish myself off.
But there was one thing i lived for even after all was said and done i live for one thing.
If you dont have atleast one reason to live, then you have no reason to live.
Sorry to shit up the thread guys.
>>
>>36512798
whatever im here for the stories too anon i never asked you to respond to my seemingly fake posts.
If i was lying then you wasted your own time giving a fuck man.
>>
>>36512790
make the spoiler lower case letters and you are now no longer a new fag phone poster.
your welcome.
>>
>>36492924

I don't even have a real story since I was too young to remember but when I was like 2 or 3 we lived in a big old farmhouse and I fell down the stairs, hit my head pretty hard and was close to death (according to my mom).
>>
>>36494416
I've a friend in Ireland with similar bits of the choking thing; something related to anxiety, if I remember correctly.

I hope you're alright, anon.
>>
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>go to friend's birthday pool party when I was like 9
>bunch of people I don't know there
>be unlikable little shit so quickly make one person in particular hate me
>grabs me and forces me under the water for so what felt like an eternity, can't shake him off
>finally he lets go
>tell friend's dad what happened
>think he was reprimand but no one, including my dad, realized how serious it was
Can you imagine that? Being so unlikable someone you know for an hour literally tries to kill you?
>>
A guy tried to strangle me in front of my house and my neighbor got him off me. Honestly, after the initial struggle to get him off, I was kind of okay with the idea of dying there. It's not like I'm happy with my life.
>>
>>36505271
LOWL
As a toddler, whenever I cried or got angry I hyperventilated extremely until I couldn't breath anymore. Am the only unwanted child anyways. My parents should've left me dying for fuck's sake - my life is a miserable mess and consider suicide for this summer.
>>
>>36513016
Yes. Some kids just straight up bullied me, beat me and borderline-killed me just for existing - "just for tha lulz" - these were one of the most emasculating and damaging moments in my life.
>>
>>36512208
i assume they bought their frozen yogurt and left
>>
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>>36492924

>at driving lessons with my mother
>she makes me drive in a dangerous neighborhood (in Mexico of all places) because she didn't believed that the place was dangerous, for her own anecdotical experience, i guess she choose that place because there wasn't too much traffic
>she makes me take a wrong turn in a street with only one way
>two cholos in bicycles don't expect my dumb ass, so they crash against me
>they get close to the window
>i apologize
>then they start to argue with me
>i panicked and step the pedal
>they try to stop me by grabing my face
>i felt that something hit me in the head (fucking cholos are good at throwing shit)
>suddenly, i drive like the fucking Transporter or some shit, really, i'm surprised how fast i drove that day, even taking turns without hesitation, all to escape

I actually got gud at driving after that, but still, fuck you mom, you almost got us both killed.
>>
>>36513016

>be unlikable little shit so quickly make one person in particular hate me

Man, i know that feel. One kid at school kicked me in the balls for no reason, when i was trying to be friendly with him.
>>
>>36494389
Thank fuck I don't live in America. 50k in fees holy shit
>>
>be me, 15 or something
>arguing with brother
>he grabs the hammer with a wooden handle
>does the motion of throwing it at me but doesn't let go, just for intimidation
>mfw the hammer head detaches and flies at my head
>neododge.jpeg

It left a big hole in the door behind me.
>>
>>36498429
inderdaad , kut huisartsen
toen ik klein was kreeg ik een spuit waardoor mijn arm helemaal opblies , als ik niet naar een ziekenhuis ging was ik dood
>>
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One time a nearly forgot to eat my brocolli
>>
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>be me
>be in military robot in disguise
>in vehicle convoy late at night driving along highway
>driver says they're okay to keep driving, not far off our stop anyway (I'm passenger)
>some time passes
>vehicle in front brakes, we see lights and brake
>huge mack truck behind us driving too close or didn't see lights, hits brakes but hits us before skidding off the highway
>all I hear are loud indistinguishable noises, glass breaking, don't remember seeing anything
>truck I was in was hit so hard it rolled onto its side
>first thing I feel is water on my head
>o shit it's not water it's my head blood pouring out everywhere
>somehow almost physically uninjured, pull myself out of truck, driver is unconscious
>apparently I wandered around for a bit bleeding all over
>guys from truck in front sit me down, I pass out from shock
>ambulance arrives

7 stitches in head, cut through my scalp using my skull as a battering ram to smash a window out in the collision.

>people keep asking why I don't want to drive

pic related
>>
>>36494018
I remember a draw thread a while back and some anon drew a picture of supposedly himself
without an eye in the pic
was that you?
>>
>>36514777
>7 stiches
>trip sevens
lucky lucky boy you
>>
>>36502203
Similar story happened to me.
>Was 7 I think, hate small spaces
>Two girls convince me to go into a small box saying they wont shut it
>Think: sounds like a good and fun plan
>Not even 1 second in and they shut it and sit ontop of it
>Me screeching, panic thinking im going to die
>Finally teacher comes over and tells them to get off
>They didnt even get punished because "I shouldnt have gone in there"
>>
>>36512481
Holy shit dude i have similar experience
Not in the mood to green text so basicly two armed men forced me out of my car and told me to get in their car
They handcuffed me and ducttaped my eyes
They kept me in small room handcuffed for five days until my parents paid the ransom
They almost shot me many times but i always talked my way out of it
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