>have a drawer filled with onaholes and lube >heart pounding

>>36491615
jesus fucking christ lad

>>36491615
She's looked in it before. Sorry to burst your bubble but mommy knows all.

>>36491979
I'm in my room all day bub. I have also strategically placed a shirt and games on top of it so I'd know if it were moved. anyway.

>>36491615
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DSVDcw6iW8

this is weird

>>36491991
At some point you have left your room. Your mom snuck in and took a peek. You're also forgetting that you sleep at some point. Your mom probably snuck in while you were sleeping and took a peek.

>>36491991
Is this how the modern male brain is evolving?

Finding better ways to hide our porn and shame? All collectively figuring out that peeing on the side of the toilet bowl makes less noise?

>>36492034
>At some point you have left your room.
Where do you think we are?

>>36492061
I don't care how much of a superior NEET you think you are. At some point you have left your room. No one thinks you're cool because you posted a meme.

>>36492074
Yes to piss and shit. But that's it and during that time sure she's come into my room to clean out my bins, however the drawer in question she only know as a draw filled with DVDs and games so he has zero reason to inside it. Plus she's not the type to keep something like this a secret. I know what I'm doing nigger.

>>36492108
She knows. When I was younger I had a SI:Swimsuit mag. I had cummed inside the mag all over the pages multiple times. It was hidden between the mattresses. My mom came into to clean my room one day and said "I cleaned your room. I put something I found on a shelf in your closet." She had found the cum magazine.

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>>36492152
Please do explain how my mother could rearrange the games and the shirt in my draw in the exact same place as they were before. There's also the fact that whatever she found would most likely be picked up and also moved out of it's original place. There's also the fact that when I shit I listen closely for sounds of anything opening and there hasn't been. Again she has no reason to go into a drawer filled with old DVDs and games just like she hasn't gone into the other 4 drawers filled with DVDs and games in my room. The fact that you got found out at all only proves yourself to be nothing more than a mere amateur.

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>>36491615
I don't get why people even risk this. You'll be living alone one day, r-right? You can have all the porn, sex toys and waifus you want.
Don't ruin what's left of your relationship by confirming her fears.

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>>36492236
I went crazy for a few months and got myself 3 onaholes, a onahole heater and 2 bottles of japanese lube. It was a good purchase. As long as I don't draw attention to my pandora's box everything will be perfectly fine.
Pic related, my loli onahole.

>>36492236
Did he died? I hope he did. That's what you get for participating in internet fads irl

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>>36492277
>my loli onahole.
That thing is pretty scary looking. How big is it?

>>36492285
I dunno. I like to think he did. But he was still moving so probably not.

>>36492316
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJCEXHRhAZA
pretty big
feels like heaven

>>36492395
That accent, is he a fucking Dutchman?!

>>36492443
yup I brought it from that store in the netherlands

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>>36492476
>tfw I could probably ride the train there and back in an afternoon

>younger friend's parents are into fleamarket stuff
>buy stuff then sell it there
>dad has a box full of 80's playboy magazines
>friend gave me a few of them
>fap to them girls with bushes
>father saw them
>he starts hinting about the 80's all week

>>36492512
It's an internet store called MotsuToys, I live in the UK and had it delivered within the week. Really great site.

>>36492277
same, if someone opens my box i will have to kill myself

>>36491615
My mom has found my collections of girls clothing on multiple occasions and has caught me fappin and searched up my browser history.
We actually get along quite well.
None of these moments has been brought up after their happening.

I've learned how to hide stuff better that's for sure

>>36492042
>not inserting your dick into the water for absolutely 0 noise
never gonna make it

mom found the sissy hypno stash when I was 13 by checking my browser history. That night at dinner she mentioned a different website she found but I knew that if she saw that one then she definitely saw the porn right next to it, so I panicked and just fucking ran to my room. I made up a lame excuse about how I had been tricked into clicking the link and just prayed she didn't go digging for the files.

Then when I was 18 it probably got found again by my sister because I let her use an old laptop of mine when hers was broken and it was a mac so it had all sorts of features I didn't know about for displaying recently accessed files and importing bookmarks into safari and shit. Never got confirmation that she actually saw anything but it would've been pretty hard not to.

I need better opsec

OP, even if she found out.. what's she going to do? Ask you about your fucking lube collection? HAHAHAHA

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>>36491615
In college I got a part time job just so that I could afford my own room in an apartment. Why? So that I could buy pic related and enjoy having sex with it whenever I wanted. Felt so wrong but so right at the same time. I kept it in this big suitcase under my bed and even locked it for safe measure.

For reasons I still don't understand a girl showed interest in me at a frat event and asked if we could hang out in my apartment some time. I left her in my room while I went to the bathroom and when I came back she had opened the suitcase and was staring right at it, laughing. I fucking forgot to lock it. I told her to get out and threw it away the next day. Never let anyone find your sex toys.

>>36491991
did you just called me blob?
REEEEEEE

>>36494353
bub, cmon have you never read a wolverine comic in your life or what

>>36494400
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6wYzBkhoH8

tfw almost as fat as blob

>>36492881

It's just embarassing when parental units find your degenerate stash of things. I mean I don't care, mine have already lost faith in me, so it wouldn't matter if I dragged a realdoll downstairs right this second and started to noisily fuck it. They already know they're not getting grandkids, might as well twist the knife a little more.

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>>36494475
Not blob, BUB
we're all gonna make it one day fatbro