https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socia l_rejection#Rejection_se

File: x5hb8.jpg (46KB, 917x871px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 917x871px

Yeah, it does sound like me.

File: adamdriver_color.jpg (42KB, 480x540px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 480x540px

>>36488187
> sensitive individuals are reluctant to express opinions, tend to avoid arguments or controversial discussions, are reluctant to make requests or impose on others, are easily hurt by negative feedback from others, and tend to rely too much on familiar others and situations so as to avoid rejection.
That's me.

>>36488187
sounds like my entire family. I never had a chance.

I don't get hostile when rejected though

I just get sad

>>36488251
that would be me in stalinist russia

in russia, state is sensitive to you

File: 1491170830468.jpg (19KB, 673x625px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 673x625px

That sounds exactly like me.

I have literally no problems in social situations except when I feel as though I may have been slighted or rejected. I just get so fucking angry at the person and hate whoever did it.

I basically have to remove myself from their presence or I wouldn't be able to help trying to get even with them and I know it's extremely petty.

Basically this rules my entire life, I literally will walk the opposite way on the street if I see someone who rejected me in some minor way and it's not even like I'm shy or ashamed of anything. I just don't want to have to deal with the situation.

>>36489823
Sounds like a personality disorder my dude

>>36488187
yes but I do not have troubles in social situations. I tend to be a yes-man on the fringe until I see an opening to gain some creedence and manipulate a situation to my own will playing the long game.

>>36489884
The thing is it doesn't always operate.

It's just that if I am to go out on a limb to establish a relationship instead of being on the receiving end. So far I can basically minimize this problem by not doing that and still have an active social life because I'm funny and personable enough that people want me around but holy fuck it's really unsatisfying - and I resent the thought that if I were to have tried creating a relationship with the very people who are my friends now proactively, that is before we became friends,they might and probably would have said no.

It's just like I on my own can't make friends or people don't see value in me myself or that I have a right to create situations for myself. It's only through recommendation or under the guise of a mutual that I can hope to connect with someone, which is horrible because that's not me as me but me as an element in a network sanctioned by whatever social capital a group position or a particular person can lend me. I just feel impotent and this leads to blinding rage.

>>36489998
God DAMN, you sound like me. I don't know why the fuck I do it, but I can't stop. Do you sometimes almost feel like a whole other person(a) takes over in social situations, that personality differing from who you're with? I catch myself doing it after the fact, and it really fucks with my head sometimes.

>>36490060
Differing depending on who you're with*

>>36490060
I act differently depending on who I'm with but I always thought that was a) normal and unavoidable because you have different responsibilities to them b) you're trying to impress them in different ways and c) most of all with girls you're spending so much brain power just reading the situation in the background that it's difficult to not act on a sort of autopilot. Whatever autopilot routine is playing usually depends on my mood.


I know what I said doesn't directly answer what you brought up, to directly answer it though I would say that I definitely am a different person around different people. I just consider that much natural.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_processing_sensitivity

Does this sound like you?

>>36489823
I understand what you are saying.

In childhood/teenagerhood it was so bad that I was literally unable to just walk to strangers or acquaintances who weren't friends and even just talk to them. I always had the nightmare that they would reject me in the back of my head.

Like literally: I see children playing and I can't go to them, just looking at them feels like daggers entering my body.

This led of course to the situation that I had to pre-emptively reject fucking everyone I met and then I could say: Yeah but I did it first.

>>36490162
Yeah, we obviously act differently depending on the situation, but I feel like most people have some consistency in their personality. I completely adapt to the context and forget to take care of myself and my values and opinions and such.

Anyways, it all boils down to fear of rejection and sacrificing yourself to avoid that. It's a fucking curse, that's for sure.

>>36490331
>This led of course to the situation that I had to pre-emptively reject fucking everyone I met and then I could say: Yeah but I did it first.

Too fucking real mang

>>36490331
>>36490418
I'm so jaded now that when I look at photos of friends I had I can't understand why they would want to be friends with me even though at the time we seemed close.

This is how I know it's an absolute delusion. I can approach anyone and fake charisma//mutual interests but the only problem is I will resent them and not want to actually be friends with them. The pleasure dies away if I have to act.

For a long time I've known what the issue is, pride. I turn to pride when I lack the adequate padding of self love to whether a rejection, the padding I assume people would have developed from meaningful childhood interactions.

I grew up without my parents and had to acclimatize myself to their absence after 4 years of age. It's not that they died, they just sent me away. It was no secret that the people who brought me up didn't like me and sometimes they were downright hostile. I spent the first few years with them just trying to stop wishing my parents would be back and then my teen years trying to stop hating my guardians with a passion. This is my best guess as to why I am this way, did you two have a similar experience?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness
This sounds more like me

>Simply being made to wait, for example, could be viewed as a rejection and met with extreme anger and hostility.
oh dear

>>36490639
My parents divorced when I was 5 and then I immediately migrated with my mom from Eastern Europe to Western Europe and had to live the first few years of my life with my grandparents because she was away enjoying life. Then I eventually moved in with her. AND her new boyfriend. Yep, the dude was there before me. She didn't ask me if I like him. She asked him if he liked me. He didn't speak the language of the new country and I spoke the language of the old country poorly, so you can imagine there was quite a communication problem and that it was easy to neglect me (Like literally weeks we didn't talk, they only talked to each other. Nobody EVER asked me for my opinion, my dreams, my thoughts or how my day went.). After simply couldn't argument my way out of situations and prove how smart I really was. Because of the communication barrier everyone thought that I was way dumber then I was. I also had no siblings which isolated me even further. All those factors led to me being schizoid and antisocial and I preferred to just stay in bed and do and think nothing. Other kids didn't take this behavior kindly and started to bully the fuck out of me and my accent, they must have thought I acted this way because I was an immigrant and rejected them instead of me being coming from a broken home.

>>36490639
Yes! I absolutely agree that inadequate emotional connections early in life is the main cause of this. My mother was gravely sick since I was 5 and died when I was 14, at which point my emotionally absent father sent me away too.

I only became aware that I had in fact been grossly emotionally neglected after several professionals told me so, and it took me years to even accept. I'm still struggling to forgive my father, maybe I never will.

>>36490639
>I'm so jaded now that when I look at photos of friends I had I can't understand why they would want to be friends with me
I don't needs the photographs to do that. I felt that way literally my entire life. "Why does he treat me so nicely and want to be friends with me? Doesn't he realize how bad I am? He will certainly reject me or just use me. Nah today I stay home, sorry I can't play."

Why people liked me was always a mystery to me but now that I look at old photographs of me I feel sympathy. I think: "Hm that guy isn't that bad, I would have wanted to be friends with him!". But this is only today. Back then I felt that I was worthless. And today I see the photos and ask myself: "Why why you damn idiot did you feel this way?? It was all just inside your head."

File: Clipboard01.png (24KB, 209x178px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 209x178px

>>36488187
what's that btw?

>>36490835
>>36490838
Fucking hell, we're going to make it bros. I've made some progress by working extremely hard at assuring myself people want me around even if they reject specific offers, or seem to not be keen, I should take everything lightly and smile at difficulties of this kind. I've also been forced to rethink what society actually is, I was under the impression that all people who had a connection did so out of contract and simple appreciation but in actuality the majority of time it's out of mutually recognized needs. I think I became broken when I convinced myself that all connections are optional, can be either/or when that isn't true - I accepted the standards of a neglecter. Society is actually less consensual and less respecting of boundaries than I was forced to accept, the difficulty now is learning the correct expectations so that I don't get sent to jail forcing myself to be more open.

It's relieving knowing that it was an extremely similar situation for you two too. I'm sorry for your situation. I think the worst part is you can only know how abnormal it was once you become an adult.

>>36491055
I also wondered what those were.

>>36491111
The stuff you use for dry lips to moisten them.

Not any more. As a child maybe, but now a I actually prefer to be alone. Sure, i could theoretically force myself to be socially interactive, but it all seems so exhausting, repetitive, and boring to me. If you think about it, normalfags talk about the same things over and over and over again. The same topics are brought up when meeting new people, and even if youve been friends with someone for a while you talk about the same bullshit. When im by myself i can use my imagination/learn about new and interesting things constantly, which is much better