/britfeel/

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>>36383448
why do you guys have the need to have one thread just for yourselves?

fucking normies i swear..

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President Xi Jinping edition

>p-please, force those memes inside me senpai
>ah, I-I didn't expect a l-lethal dose of morphine HAHA, so fucking good AHHH
>m-my dick is as hard as three week old Tesco bread senpai, you're forcing these memes so fucking good ahhh
Goodfe-
>*the britfeel poster violently spews cum before the word had even finished being said. And thus concludes his daily fix of forced, terrible memes*

>>36383470
If I posted in another thread the following: "me bum is on fire lads haha xdxd shouldn't have ate those spicy nik naks someone give me a lethal dose xD badly craving a tesco baguette from tesco desu" you wouldn't understand

>>36383537
>nik naks
>spicy

>>36383470
burgerfat that doesn't understand timezones, it's 4 in the morning why would normies be here

>>36383559
I get my nik naks from a dealer you wouldn't understand neetboi

what we listening to lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1CdrKenfXo

>>36383576
>assuming im american
i'm not from american nice try though

>>36383631
https://youtu.be/41iDt7ixgsM

>>36383631
Listening to weeb shit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIhU-dmMsHU

>>36383673
Pretty sure you are, they're the only ones who would be up at this time and jealous. unless you're a fucking leaf

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>>36383703
i'm from korea.
terrible assumption.

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>>36383779
lol you're gonna get nuked

>>36383631
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLZRYQMLDW4

>>36383779
Stop crying about it like a little bitch and go start /koreafeels/ then

>>36383779
Best Korea or GTFO

>>36383830
>/koreafeels/

wouldn't even last half the time as /ausfeels/ lad

>>36383631
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qweUlGmDXDw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSorfQFe8IE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27BAvGEBE_o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dslaF_rRFfg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmYx660fzMI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8M4J2SmTjU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPigx0GU898
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t3fXw-ij04
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTBPXgw-NLE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyH3D_7u0TQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgEkeNsNbF4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb0RtK7oObw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmWproODbms
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaRx7P_tHqE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wxs0u8s3ok
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLfFj9r9IpE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3p3YX8Y9fc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbMyIYMBQ0Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yOCMTohYu8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bpuGP7M7bk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPfHhe22WqI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUwARUz2h2I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6M75KL_ngA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgHKL0S8_7M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJbBEJjvRik
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8H4pBi7B7k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViISEo5rNUE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vplvQUyhgcw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQdpF6elTlk

>>36383863
Didn't anyone ever teach you that you can't multiply shit by infinity
it still equals shit

outside having a spliff and all i hear his birds tweeting away. not good lads
fuck it i'm off to bed while it's still dark

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Friendly reminder to just buy a dog and move to the mou tains

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>>36383826
i'm fine with that, not like i care about my life anyways. i stay inside of my apartment and have zero social contact with the outside world unless im in a pc bang.
>>36383830
that's like telling a /mlp/ poster to go post in /a/
>>36383846
what?

>>36383900
it's not shit, your'e, fuck off fascist cunt youc ab't appreciate this good shit because you're too high on your own delusions,i t's good art and nothing like the utter shit rap coming out from america

>close to losing my job
>still wide awake despite having to go to work later

fuck it all tbqh lads

>>36383631
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIEt3jkixgE

Hope you're all registered to vote lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JkJMTklTUk

what do you think lads.... is suicide a cowardly thing to do?


my life is basically nothing and i'm almost always in constant agony, nothing appeals to me anymore, i can't find the energy for anything and i know it's never going to get better as i'm a NEET with no prospects and i don't want old age anyway

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Wtf I'm going to have to shower in less than 2 hours and it's already getting light outside this is so bullshit

>be tired as fuck
>look forward to a comfy nights sleep for once
>think about how I fucked things with my ex and my mind goes crazy with random thoughts about random points in my life
>lay in silence for a good hour not being able to fall asleep

I'm fairly certain a proactive mind at night is a sign of autism lads

>>36384552
>is suicide a cowardly thing to do?
To sieze the outcome of your life and your own fate as opposed to leaving it to some great decider or even worse, just shit luck, is pretty badass tbqh

>Tfw no more conservatives after July election
Good feelings lads. Gonna get my juicy dole up

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Mmm yummy, cake for breakfast

I count it as my dinner since I've been up all night

>>36383863
How do you feel about the Suicidal Rap Orgy coming back in 2018, anon?

>>36385992
can't fuckn wait mate, love all swifts shit

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>>36385588
FUCK I DROPPED MY CAKE

Is it possible to work night shifts without turning into travis bickle?

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>>36386525
Cake landed gooey sided down, my keyboard's all gooey and crumbly now

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>tfw no qt gf to sit on my face

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>>36385588
>>36386525
Fucking hell mate lmao

I wish I were British. :(

>>36387128
Holy shit, has that sentence really never been said on this board before?

Haven't showered in a month but I've decided not to shower today (the day I go to work) because I love the smell too much and I'm lazy. Instead, I'll just wash my hair because that's the only visible giveaway. I'm sure no one will know.

>>36387149

I want to be British

didn't die in my sleep again, lads.

Fuckoff robot.

>>36383495
Needs more sexy kev

>>36387218
havent showered in a few days here, evens i do it, odds i dont

>>36387128
Why
Oil rig in ale

>>36387496
1.) Sexy accents, even if you're from a tough area
2.) Britain is the definition of /comfy/ imo
3.) Nobody makes fun of you for being a fat, loud, smelly, arrogant, stupid American.

>>36387564
I'm sorry to break this to you but none of that is true

Anyone watching any good anime
I'm watching rezero it's really good

>>36387602
>3.) Nobody makes fun of you for being a fat, loud, smelly, arrogant, stupid American.
>This isn't true, even in Britain.
...How?

>>36387654
I know the stereotype Briton is very polite but it's not like that in real life

>>36387715
No, that's Canada.

>>36387715
The British are known for cuttingly witty insults, right?

>>36387735
You wot m8?
Oil rig in ale

>>36387758
>Oil rig in ale
Shit meme.
Please stop it.

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Comrades, the voices of the dead battalions,
Of those who fell that Britain might be great,
Join in our song, for they still march in spirit with us,
And urge us on to gain the fascist state!

>>36387769
No
Oil rig in ale

vote for jezza lads

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Left my hostel that someone paid for me to stay at last night. Found a nice place to sit now.

Got a loaf of bread and some butter for less than a pound. Should last me a day I'll just have to keep the butter cool so it doesn't melt.

What's everyone else doing up so early?

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>>36383631
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMRn4inxbmY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HnF5T4Neuc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th7QmZiz6Lc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLYwxVWF_qQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3a1Op8STKk

Can someone tell me a couple of sentences why an election is taking place now? How is this legal and who is behind it?

>>36388297
>>>/mu/ is that way

Morning lads. Whos ready for anyother day of mindnumbing work that makes me want to die?

>>36388305
May is ahead in the polls, wants to solidify her power before brexit and make it so shes not an unelected leader so people stop saying that. Leading party can call for an election with either a vote of no confidence or have 2/3 of parliament agree to one which is what happened.
At least I think thats whats going on.

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>>36388250
How do you have wifi and how are you posting, also location ?

>>36388611
Risky PR move by May...

>>36388638
South West. I still have my phone contract until the end of the month and i have a smart phone. Usually i get WiFi in cafes or shopping centres.

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>>36388611
Good morning lad~

>Whos ready for anyother day of mindnumbing work that makes me want to die?
Me desu, at least I get two days off after today.

Hope you have a good day though senpai~

Well here we go, to the mental health people

I've wrote down everything i'm thinking on nearly a full page of A4 Paper including that fact I don't think they can help me

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Good moooorniiiing, /britfeel/!
How are you all feeling this morning?
What have you got planned?

Hope you all are feeling well and have a great day whatever it is you get up to!


Might as well post waifus/husbandos/cute pets while you're at it!

>>36388250
Br careful out there homeless anon, it looks quite chilly today, make sure you're all wrapped up tight!

>>36388873
Well done anon, I hope it goes well for you.

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>>36388609
>Objectively good songs
>Durr back to /mu/

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>>36388888
>those numbers
sugoi len


I shall be walking out if they are condescending and shit so I'm not optimistic

>>36388912
Please attend the whole thing! It's a doctor's job to ask prying questions and stuff.

also thanks for viewing my numbers

really wasn't sure about the new OP image when we first changed it but it looks bloody lovely now. Thanks to everyone who contributed x

how jelly are other countries that we are able to sustain a constant stream of threads?
so many others have failed while we have thrived

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>>36388899
>Objectively good songs
>There's some Car Seat Headrest and anime soundtracks in there

https://youtu.be/R22vwA6XX3M

>real neet hours
>tfw 7/8th the age of limmy
>https://youtu.be/VQ9v30iI98M
>teenagers are single issue vorters anyway

>>36389096
>Not liking CSH
>Not liking K-On!
You have to go back

Mental Health Examination:
Appearance and Behaviour
Anon arrived to his appointment on time. He was wearing clean weather and age appropriate clothing. No abnormal behaviours noted. Self-care was good. Eye contact limited and rapport established. Anon did not respond to low level humour.

>>36383631
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAgwoEUGgro&t=86s

Guys, I'm getting really sick of this acid attack stitch up, does any one want to start a group up or something to pressure the police into trying to find the real suspect?

>>36383631
I don't wanna go to work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GI_Khqg4sQ

This tune is catchy as fugg I think, had it in my head since yesterday

I am English

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>>36388888
Quints prove that waifu posting is the comfy heart of britfeel desu.

>>36388912
Keep an open mind and do your best lad. You've done really well getting yourself this far!

>skin around my eyes is really dry, flaky and hurts all the time
hope this goes away soon, I'm trying to make sure I don't touch it too much

>>36383631
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zryi1oONiZE

>>36389251
>articles talking about some 'reality star' Ferne McCann

Literally fucking who? Am I really this far off the grid?

Away to the gym in a moment, whats on the agenda today lads

>>36389381
Working out to resemble Kev.

>>36389357
It was a blackie who did it (dalstan), but they've gone after a white as a cover up and are basically trying to ruin the guy's life.

The whole acid attack is pakis but the police wont admit it.

>>36389251
wont the police just arrest us for being white "racists" and "hate speech"?

>>36389388
Working out because its the hobby ive tried and liked the most.

Police love arresting blacks, why would they "cover it up" and go after a white guy if he wasn't the right person?

>>36389251
>only just realising the police are useless
Yeah no shit.

>>36389400
I feel like putting pressure on them will cause the cracks to appear in their cover up and they won't be able to hide behind racism accusations.

>>36389381
>Went for a run
>Would play guitar but that FAT BLOB OF DISGUSTING SHIT IS NEXT DOOR NOT FUCKING GOING ANYWHERE AND I'M TOO SELF CONCIOUS TO PLAY GUITAR KNOWING SOMEONE'S HEARING ME RRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Currently watching the Scientology guy's dad on Joe Rogan's podcast. Interesting stuff 2bh.

>tfw started weight loss 18.7 stone at 6'2"
>down to 16.4 stone

just need to keep it up lads, anyone else here losing weight?

>>36389434
I don't really care if anyone here's my guitar playing but I don't want to annoy the people next door

>>36389426
It's not them being useless, they are intentionally running a white lad's life to save a black.

>>36389434
You should invest in an acoustic anon

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>Someone honestly thinks the police would arrest an innocent white guy to let a criminal black guy go free.

Our prisons are teeming with blacks lad, police LOVE arresting them.

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I JUST WANNA SHAG

This one is also catchy

https://youtu.be/UTLAOn6dvCw

we clear net now neets.

>>36389520
she's activating my almonds

>>36389453
>Only just realising institutionalised reverse racism exists in the UK.

Doesn't even matter who you vote, schools, hospitals and government will always remain racist towards anglos.

>>36389443
Yup started recently at 15 stone (96KG)
Now after 2 1/2 months 14 stone (90KG)
losing around 1.3 lbs a week if I continue what I am already doing.

I do expect to gain some weight as I am thinking of implimenting more strength training & more focus on protien in my diet.

Why are there literally no good political parties?

The ones that want to decrease immigration are shit at everything else, and the ones that are good at everything else want to demographically replace brits with pakis.

Why is there no good party that wants highly controlled immigration of skilled workers from countries with a similar culture to ours (read: white)?

>>36389584
Because they'd be labelled racist and the media would have no problem taking them down.

Too easy a target.

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>>36389584
but there is a good party lad

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>>36389520
You have all you need

>>36389625
self destructed post brexit and even when they were at their best they were constantly suffering internal strife and scandals.

>>36389625
Their economic policies are straight up naive. They're literally promising the impossible, they take the worst liberal ideas and try to combine them with their pseudo libertarian system.

Yes let's reduce taxes yet somehow spend more on public services!

>>36389643
its not the same, even after wanking i feel depressed that i didn't cum inside a girl

>>36389508
Does it cost less than 6 pounds 50 pence? Because that's all the money I have in the world.

anyone ever been fired before? what happened?

>>36389683
Cutting taxes and spending more on public services is possible though.

You don't need more money, you just need to rearrange how the money is being spent.

UK wastes a ton of taxpayer money.

>>36389693
i want to kiss, cuddle, have my face sat on. you can't get that with your hand

>>36383470

Because we don't want to have to talk with yanks, it's so cringeworthy, just imagine it.

>Anon discusses a medical issues
>Other anons complain about how useless their GP is
>Some Shipposting
>Other anons talk about their medical issues
>Burger bursts in
"Huh, so you guys have socialised medicine, huh? Bet ahmed loves that, does the TV licence fee pay for it?"

or

>Queens health is failing
>Anon adds get well cards in OP
>Anxious pepe posting
>General well wishing
>Burger bursts in
"So you still have a monarchy, huh? So does she overrule the prime minister when she wants? What does Cameron do now, huh? Did he get demoted to Deputy Prime minister?"

or

>Someone complains about pakis
>Other anon boasts about living in a 99% white village
>Comparison of who is worse, pakis/niggers/poles
>Industrial scale spamming commences
>White Burger from Detroit bursts in
"Huh, so this is the result of socialism, a mosque on every street corner. must be a shame living in a non-white area, glad I don't have to put up with that under Emporer Trump, where is Mr Brexit?"

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>Election is in the middle of exam season

No students giving their shitty know nothing opinion.

>>36389683

I think the general public know that they are just polices, we are not stupid. Lying might be their biggest mistake.

>>36389710
Yes that's right but they have not outlined HOW they're going to get rid of the shitty beaurocratic state and save money.

That is the holy grail of large government because it's not possible, even the most efficient companies waste billions when they get to a certain size.

What they need to do is just get rid of the NHS entirely and help people but insurance, let business figure out how to save money not some 70 year old that's never been in a public hospital.

>>36389761
>tfw they change exam dates so they can vote

>>36389784
>they have not outlined HOW

>leave EU
>no foreign aid
>welfare cuts

>>36389745
That's not a burger mate, plenty of us agree with that.

>We are sending an armada. Very powerful. We have submarines. Very powerful,' Mr Trump said last week

Yanks actually voted for a man with an IQ this low.

>>36389702
Been fired 3 times.
All 3 times got taken aside and was told this ain't working out, don't turn up tomorrow.

>No salt sachet in my Salt 'n' Shake crisps
WHAT THE FUCK????!!!! YOU HAD ONE JOB!!!!

>>36389702
I've been let go but never fired

I've been fired 3 times and demoted once but I'm now in an upper management job where the same qualities that got me fired before, my boss loves.

Just shows that managers will sack people they consider a threat.

>>36389831
>>36389840
for anything ~bad~ or just poor performance?

>>36389806
That's nothing in comparison to how much is wasted on silly things like "integrating immigrants". Brexit sounds like an achievement but it's the tip of the iceberg. They have really not convinced me that they're going to be doing much but that's just me.

>>36389826
I'm no fan of Trump, but he isn't talking in a simple way because he is stupid. He's talking in a simple way because his average supporter is stupid.

>>36389866
Who you gonna vote for instead? The Blairites with the red ties, the Blairites with the blue ties or the Blairites with the yellow ties?

>>36389625

Nige was a faggot, I'm almost tempted to vote for UKIP now Paul Nuttall is in charge

>>36389863
neither, the hours just weren't there anymore

>>36389890
I'm Paul Nuttall ukips and I think you should vote for me because I invented powered flight and was the first man on the moon.

>>36389833
Thats what you get for buying garbage crisps.

How does one get an online gf or friend (male or female)?

I dont know really wear to start.

I have tried before but never seem to get past just being aquaintances then eventually stop talking etc.

any advice lads

I'm honestly not going to bother to vote because there's no one to vote for.

Will have a look if there's a decent independent candidate standing in my constituancy, but if not then I won't bother.

>>36389928
vote for me
I need a job

>>36389863
1st time I was told there were no hours, then found out 2 months later I'd been snaked by my friend that got me the job
2nd time I fucked up a health inspection
3rd time I was having a breakdown because my dad died, I tried to explain why I was shaking all the time but they still let me go with no compensation or nothing

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Waiting to here back from an email to this girl lads.

37 so only 10 years older than me and looking for a European husband, think I may have found Mrs Right.

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Do morning exercises

>>36389923
Best way to do it is be 15 years old.

Why not get a real gf or friend?

Which would you rather have?
A girlfriend/wife who was with you and loyal to you for 60 years.
Sex with a different girl of your age every week for the next 60 years.

>>36389947
people will think you are weird with a mummy gf lad

>>36389947
There are ladyboys who look more feminine than that mate, look at the size of her jaw. That would be big for a white girl let alone an oriental, what are you doing mate? Why do you want to go out with the gook version of desperate dan in a wig?

heya boys and girls, i'm going into leeds later today, anyone know a good place to eat? somewhere it isn't weird to go to by myself where the portions aren't too big would be perfect.
also if anyone wants to come hang out for a bit that'd be interesting

>>36389950
I rarely leave the house unless I need to
work,food doctors etc. heck even moving most of my shopping online. so my chances of building a relationship natrually are quite low

it doesnt bother me that much t b h, I was just prompted to think about it because of a video in another thread were an british hapa went to see his online jap gf

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Also emailed this one, also 37

Oh shit lads wonder if my darknet order is here, time to check the mailbox!

>>36390021
they both look airbrushed to fuck man

>>36389965
That's a pretty fucking tough choice lad

My initial reaction would be to go with different girl each week, but then fucking random women the same age as you loses its appeal when you start to hit late thirties, so with that in mind I think I'd rather have a loving wife

>>36390030
think your just jealous I'll finally have a gf and be a normie

>>36389947
>>36390021
>literal Thai brides

What the fuck do you think you're doing m8

>>36389980
I'd consider hanging out with you if at least one other person does. Anyway YoSushi in the Trinity Centre is belting, you have to order some takoyaki

YES lads, it arrived from Amsterdam with love!

I'm so grateful for the postie in his soggy rags for getting up so early to deliver me this doggy bag!

>>36390062

Far better than turning prison gay, although given their nationality, maybe it's the same thing

>>36390027
>tfw can't order from the DN as family are always home before me
feelstoughman

>tfw 25 and don't remember the last time I've done a proper clothes shop
Everything was bought for me by my mum, my sisters or my girlfriend in my brief normie period.

The idea of doing it makes me incredibly nervous but I'm going to have to today because I need to, at the very least buy a shirt and tie.

Shagged a girl on Adultwork just to drop the v plates seeing as this year I'm inching marginally closer to an actual girl possibly wanting to have sex with me. Was fucking terrible at it obviously, but good to have that experience on board I guess. She was alright looking too. Could critique her technique though tbqh.

>>36390083
I buy shirts from concerts but everything else I can't remember. I bought some jeans years ago but I think thats it.

>>36390080
Eh? You know it comes in a sealed envelope with your name on it right?

>>36390083
How can you be normie enough to get a gf but not normie enough to pop in a shop and buy a shirt?

Are the kids still out from school? They were yesterday and it ruined my reading spot on my lunch break.

>>36390089
Fuck I did that once too. I was gonna fuck a prossie then kill myself. Damn she was so half-arsed it was almost insulting.

>>36390107
Yeah but they'd ask what it was.

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Lads, what are we thinking about Scottish independence? If nothing else this flag is very aesthetically pleasing.

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>In the next Star Wars it will be revealed that the Force is created by a magical tree

A

FUCKING

TREE

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>>36390122
Alternatively, this. Why red rose instead of white rose? If you had to choose one or the other, which represents England best, red rose or white rose?

>>36390083
Keep it simple lad. Plain tees with muted pastel colours. A few long-sleeve shirts with maybe a plaid or chequered pattern. A couple pairs of dark blue jeans, do Not get boot cut, and do NOT get a baggy fit

>>36390108
I'm good at hiding my crippling anxiety behind a veneer of antipathy that some girls seemed to find attractive. That and semi-decent aesthetic genes I suppose.

It gets thinner by the day though. I think i'm going to end up REEEEEEING in public in the not too distant future.

>>36390118
Here's a solution for you mate.

Get something innocuous that fits with one of your hobbies. Then post it to yourself a couple of times to get them used to you receiving mail. Once they stop asking or even noticing, that's when you can put the order in.

>>36390131
Didn't they already showed the origin of the force in the animated series? They had the God of the force and his children.

>>36390135
That looks disgusting tbqh

Really need to get my own place now lads, any tips since I don't know shit

>>36390150
Everything apart from the movies have been retconned and made non cannon by Disney.

All the cartoons and the books.

>>36390140
That's basically my style but I do need to get some better fitting jeans.

Most of that I can do online though, it's doing it in person that's killing me. I want to get a new suit but I don't see it happening.

>>36390150
That was all a dream

>>36390172
Wrong, Clone Wars and Rebels and new expanded universe stuff is "canon"

>>36390171
I know what you mean lad, I want to live on my own again

>car insurance is going down 20 quid per month
Good shit right there. Will have to do an mot though which will be shit.

Need to watch a film lads, what film watch?

>>36390083
>girlfriend

WELP, you had a good run, but it's now time to close this thread and never return, normslime!

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>>36390195
>Car insurance is 80 a month

>>36390216
>thats what mine is going down to
It was 100 before this.

>>36390183
Jean fit seems to be the key to not looking like a twat. They should not flare over your shoes or have any kind of fraying/rips at the bottom. Very dark blue only, definitely not light blue/stonewash. If you don't know your waist that can be fixed with a belt but you really do need an accurate leg measurement

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>>36390200

Watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NS3cpZIPFlU

>Past my test
>Drove a 2.8L Ford Capri
>500 a year to insure
>Be a lot older now
>Drive a BMW M3
>1000 a year

Insurance is such a fucking jew scam christ.

>>36390221
>>36390216
>anything over 1.4 is considered a fucking sports car
>nearly 800 fucking quid to insure my 1.8 Civic that isn't even fast

fuck this stupid system

>>36390187
why'd you move back famalam

>>36390195
How? Car insurance is the one thing preventing me from buying a car. They all want 2k+ a year.

>>36390171
How much do you earn? You'll want to spend no more than half of your income on rent. Ideally a third. Look on Zoopla, Rightmove, etc, in the area you'd like to live. Look for places with white goods, and bills included if possible. If you find a place that suits you, ring the letting agent and ask to arrange a viewing. He'll take you there, you'll have a look round. If you like it, you'll need a deposit, usually between 0.5-2 months rent, plus the first month's rent on top of that. You will also need to pay agency fees (basically some cash for them doing all the leg work so you don't have to contact landlords on your own). Should be no more than 500 quid. If you have references from previous landlord then you're in good shape. If you do not, you'll need a guarantor (mother, father, grandparents, etc.) You'll probably have to pay a small fee for reference checks. You'll arrange a move-in date if the landlord likes you and if your referees chck out. You'll sign some papers, and you'll need to organise a move in date, and in that time you will need to organise a van for hire or a rental company to take your stuff on the day. When you arrive you'll meet your letting agent and then you'll sign some more stuff. Then you can move your things in! You'll want to take pictures of the whole flat, especially things that are wrong. This way you've got a better chance of receiving your full deposit at the end of the tenancy.

If you need any more help, feel free to ask.

>>36390279
no claims and clocking up the years with a license

>>36390294
No idea how kids at 17 are able to afford lessons, car, insurance and then upkeep.
None of them are working enough hours at a part-time job for that.

As soon as you hit 25 Insurance becomes reasonable.

I can insure a Ferrari 358 for 800 quid a year fully comp

A 1.2 corsa would be 200

>>36390279
Well my first year was 1600 bong. Just got on old cheap small thing and got a black box. I'm just trying to rack up as many no claims years as possible while younger.

Before you do all this, sit down and start budgeting. Realistically figure out how much you'll spend on food, toiletries, tax, heating, electricity, water, car, everything. If I only eat at home, I spend approximately 50-70 quid on food fortnightly. Ocado is more expensive than Tesco, say, but they have a lot of good deals so they work out a little cheaper (in my personal findings). If I get takeaways etc it can be almost double that.

I have 7 years of licence and 5 years of no claims, going to be 387 a year for a 1.8l Astra

>>36390314
I'm 26 and got my license last year, even for a brand new car the cheapest is around 900. Can't even buy one of those and insuring a used car is twice as much.

>>36390317
continuation of
>>36390282

>>36390067
never eaten japanese before, i'll consider giving it a shot

>>36390312
I had one at 17 but only cause I was working a full time job and got the cheapest shit possible. The only other people I knew that had cars at that age were just paid for by parents.

>>36390312
>Lessons: Mum taught me
>A car: Ford Capri 400
>Car insurance: 500
>Upkeep: Learnt how to wrench

Total expenses:

Car: 400
Insurance: 500
Lessons: 0
Theory: 20
Practical: 20

>>36390271
the place I was living was an absolute hole that was way to expensive and didn't have internet so I said fuck it and moved home

>>36390342
Petrol??? MOT???

>>36390342
>20 quid for a test

what are you, like 40? It's 100 pounds now.

>>36390330
>I'm 26 and got my license last year,
>got my license last year

Most 25 year olds have been driving for 8 years

>>36390353
an MOT will be 30-50 if your car doesn't need anything and if you know people or can do the work yourself you wont have to pay a garage through the ass

>>36390353
MOT: 30
Petrol: 20 a week

>>36390357
I passed in 2007 when I was 17

>>36390359
Yeah those who got a free ride from mum & dad. Some of us had to wait until we could afford lessons.

>>36390373
>2010 for the first year
Let me guess, mummy and daddy???

>>36390376
My parents didn't pay for my lessons, they just taught me to drive like responsible parents.

Why aren't more parents doing this?

>>36390338
Well it does get pretty dear so watch out for that. But it's conveyor belt which means you just pick whatever looks good off the belt. This has a few exceptions i.e. hot food. Thus you must order takoyaki. I expect that you will be surprised by just how delicious it is. Try sashimi too. It's raw fish or beef. Might sound gross but it's great. Finally, the absolute best sushi imo is ginza: cream cheese, salmon, rice, some spicy sauce and just a smattering of caviar.

can't remember how many diaz I've taken
is it safe to sleep?

>>36390386

not him, but my parents bought me a car for my 18th birthday, only a 400 quid corsa, I was on their insurance as a named driver for 6 months, then they got my own insurance from them as a christmas present

There is nothing wrong with 'mummy and daddy' buying stuff for you, it's the norm.

>>36390399
i wouldn't want a learner in my car

Rent/Mortgage
Council Tax
Gas
Electricity
Water
Mobile Phone
TV License/Subscriptions
Internet
Home insurance
Student Loan
Food
Clothing
Barber
Laundry
Healthcare
House maintenance/decorating
Pets
Transport (including car)
Savings


Any other ESSENTIAL budgeting info I'm missing? Going out, hobbies, takeaways etc. aren't included.

>>36390431
My parents taught me in my car. I bought a family members car off them when I turned 17.

>>36390438
>bought off
>ie given to me

Nepotism ruins society

>>36390436
>TV License/Subscriptions
>Healthcare
>Pets

>Essentual

>>36390415
mummy and daddy stuff is the norm. my friend and his sister had all their lessons, tests and their cars paid for and they get their fuel, insurance and any other expenses paid for

>>36390451
I had to give them 400 quid

>>36390476
Nobody's going to sell me their old car for 400 unless it's a junker

>Step brothers real mum just gave him 5k to buy a car when he passed his test at 17.

Kinda annoying since I never got that, but I'm a grown man with a mortgage, a job and a house so I can't be that bitter about it.

>>36390483
I bought my car at 600 from a used dealer which is pretty close. It has quirks but it's still perfectly useable.

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>>36390436

TV licence isn't essential m8, they've been sending me letters for years

>>36390494
What does 5k get you for a car these days?

>>36387564
>Britain
>comfy

Sure come and live in Britan! super comfy!

>>36390483
My dad bought a used car for 180 quid. Been driving 2 years so far.

>>36390507

The tone of their letters is disgusting.

>>36390507
For real? The bastards came to my house after 2 weeks.

>>36390517
He bought an almost brand new ford fiesta.

Kinda bad move really, as everyone crashes their first car. So first car should be a junker.

>>36390451
Nothing wrong with giving your kids a car for free m8.

>>36390436
>1500 a month after tax
Looking at this list, is it even possible for me to move out?

>>36390507
If I have a TV but no live shit on it will they still try and get me to pay it.

>>36390338
You've never eaten japanese food before? Fuck me, some of the people in here have lived incredibly sheltered lives.

>>36390507
TV licence is theft
The tone of their letters is shit.
BBC are scum

Zaoshang hao yinggan

>>36390337
Thanks mate, just hope my crappy credit score doesn't fuck it up

>>36390250
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NS3cpZIPFlU

BLEACHED

>>36390556
>The tone of their letters

That struck me too. "You know, we know". It's like a paedo accusation.

>>36390543
Haven't you heard about how shitty the housing market is? If I didn't live with someone I'd still be at home with my folks. Unless you're making above the national average salary it's pretty tough to move out without living (by most people's standards) a poor quality of life.

>>36390576

They want to scare people into buying a licence because they know it's unenforceable.

>>36390539
I only drive shit old cars, I don't like all the crap in modern cars

Rent: 525
Council tax: 70
Electric and Gas: 40
Water: 5
Internet: 30
Food: 100
Car insurance: 80
Petrol: 100
Savings: 500

That's how mine works out a month.

>>36390407
alright i'll give it a shot! kinda worried i'll just end up not liking it and wasting money but whatever.

>>36390554
i'm kinda picky and used to be much worse when i was younger. sheltered is definitely the right word though, i've barely tried anything

>>36390564
You're welcome chum. I was totally clueless when I moved out too. I would have appreciated some help from somebody but the housing market was so different when my parents were my age. Just watch out for scammer letting agents because they're far more common than you'd expect. They'll take a 200 quid enrolment fee or some bullshit and never contact you again. Phone them, and meet them in person if you can. Credit score shouldn't be an issue. Mine is trash but my parents guarantor'd me so I was all good. Had to pay a 20 quid guarantor fee so if I miss payments my mum will cover it (not that she can, I make more than she does at the moment).

>>36390576
>"You know, we know".
Double-plus-good

>>36390584
The BBC needs to be reformed.

The licence fee should only fund the type of programming that commercial broadcasters won't make.

If the BBC wants to compete with commercial broadcasters with light entertainment they should fund it another way.

Should I start taking creatine lads?

I don't pay my licence fee because the BBC just pedals the multicultural pro muslim agenda now.

>>36390543
I'm on 1500 a month pretax and I'm doing it.
It's tight, but I'm doing it.

I cycle to work though so my transport costs are only a couple hundred a year at most, fuelling and insuring a car would be impossible for me.

It really depends on where you're living, rent is always gonna be the biggest cost so if you're happy to live in a houseshare then you can save a lot.

>tfw you realise almost 15 years of your life has been wasted because you're a complete pussy afraid everything and it's become so ingrained you can't break out of it

Anyone got a decent length of rope for sale?

>Been up 2 hours
>Haven't done anything yet

Reeee

Need to do shit

Think I will clean the house.

What's that Lenny's show clip where he's talking about everything being terrible?

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>>36390669
Sounds like you're a perfect candidate for a Thai bride.

How about this 36 year old model?

>>36390673
Do you mean Limmy's show...?

>>36390673
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqjK6EZPFZc

Here you go mate.

Maybe Laos

>>36390679
I'm really not. I can't think of anything more horrifying than sharing my life with a strange gook who's only there because of financial incentive.

Nope. I'm giving the NHS one last chance to help and then I'm wasting all my savings on a fatal binge.

got a callback about a job lads, its only retail for the weekends but hey better than nothing!

>>36390705
Thanks
>>36390700
Just woke up hungover pls no bully

>>36390706
Why not spend some of your savings on therapy instead mate?

>>36390592
100 quid a month on food? What the fuck are you buying lad? I easily get by on half that, including the odd bottle of wine

>When you post on r9k so much you forget that real life doesn't have a mute block

I literally said "thank you, oregano" to the cashier.

>>36390748
Best thing I've read today, good job laddy. Did you put your head down and virgin walk away?

>>36390705
I remember the first time I watched that and he said "Maybe Laos", I fucking spat my water out.

So fucking funny, he got that type of wanker spot on.

>>36390739
Not him, but I like to eat avocados, smoked salmon and steak occasionally which massively increases the amount of money I spent on food every month. I spend more like 150-200 a month on food.

>>36390739
It's easy if you live in London. Especially if you get takeaways.

>>36390644
Don't take it if you have epilepsy. It gives me seizures like clockwork. Still made me swole though so swings and roundabouts.

>>36390739
You get buy easily on 50 quid a month? So you spend 12 a week on food? With the 'odd' bottle of wine, that's a tenner of food a week. Do you eat noodles excluively?

>>36390775
did it help you get a visible six pack?

>>36390748
I referred to myself as "Anon" to someone once.

>>36390739
25 quid a week for food is poverty.
50 is about average.

>>36390796

Shouldn't be too hard desu. Cereal and sandwiches can count for two of your 3 meals a day.

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Got some sweet kettle chips on my lunch break

>>36390679
ask to see them without the make up and photoshopping.

they`ll be men

>>36390811

Breakfast is about 50p
Lunch is usually a quid
Dinner is about 1.50

So 3/day, or 90/month on food, and I have a fairly balanced, meat containing diet.

Work have told me I'm not allowed to take any time off because my cat died, so I've quit.

>>36390829
nice trousers and shoes lad, you work somewhere fancy?

>>36390845

Probably a high class call centre

>>36390841
You're an idiot.
Before, you were: sad
Now you are: still sad, poor, angry and jobless

>>36390841
Did the right thing lad. People are closer to their pets than their grandparents yet you don't get time off for a pet.

>>36390841
good for you. fuck em.

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Learn Chinese

>>36390841
Sorry for your loss lad.

Being bombarded with phone calls from the Hare Krishna chapter in my uni town lads, pyramid scheme right?

>tfw not working class but not middle class so just fit in nowhere

>>36390841
you realize all that's done is added unemployment to your list of problems

>>36390901
Just pretend to be working class like all the other middle class uni students

>>36390796
I shop at Aldi. About 13 quid gets me two chicken breasts, two salmon fillets, enough veg to go on the side, a pizza for Friday night and also enough ingredients to make a batch of soup that lasts the week (for lunch).

>>36390901
deluded working class

>>36390911
so that's 5 meals for one week

>>36390845
I'm an IT guy in a solictors. Its fancy until you get past where the customers are allowed

>>36390916
>>36390916
>and also enough ingredients to make a batch of soup that lasts the week (for lunch).

>>36390926
what certs you got?

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>>36390891

Thanks anon. He was a good boy.

>>36390906
>>36390859

I'm not going to work somewhere that treats me like that. I wouldn't have quit if I couldn't afford to, don't worry for me.

>>36390927
>for lunch

>>36390938
I'm not worried, I just think you overreacted hugely.

>>36390938
;_; anon wish i could give you a hug

>>36390884
tfw cant be expat in china

>>36390916
Yeah I only counted what I actually prepare myself. Weekends I'm often not at home so I can't pre-plan it, but it can vary wildly between costing me nothing if I'm with family or costing a lot if I go out with mates and go to restaurants etc

>>36390936
Jack shit. Some apprenticeship stuff but thats it.

Giving up alcohol cut my food budget down loads

>>36390938
No offence lad but there will be very few companies that will give you paid leave just because your fucking cat died. They'll probably roll their eyes at wanting time off for even a family bereavement unless it's your mum or dad

wagies need to GET OUT NOW

>>36383448
How much does 1tb hdd costs? Want to sell mine.

>>36391005
Wagies are welcome

PRISON GAYS - OUT
ANIME - IN
TRAPS - OUT
WAGIES - IN

I've got a bunch of old money, notes and coins, how do I get this junk sold or valued at least?

>>36390911
That's a healthy diet mate, pretty impressive.

>>36391000

Well next time I'll just lie like everyone else does.

>>36391033
It's actually mostly down to laziness that health or cost reasons. When I get home I really can't be arsed to do more than bung some chicken and veg in the oven for half an hour

>>36391028
>lie like everyone else does
I couldn't believe how often people take sickies, even the good as gold types. I haven't had a single day off ill for over 2 years, I'm starting to think I should just start pretending

>>36391028
Is it still in circulation or properly old? If the former, bank or coin machine as asda, if the latter then eBay or a money auctioneers.

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>>36388924
>>36389318
Waste of time, was a huge new building that opened in 2013 that was almost empty - Basically asked me a load of questions for ages then said theres not much she can do for me because I've been previously diagnosed with something and gave out the same old stuff they always say, not really suprised honestly. Went the same way last time I went like 6 or 7 years ago

>>36390279
>>36390330
I bought my first car, 700 quid or so on insurance on a 1.4 car with 80bhp or so. Just buy a boring uncommon car. I'm 23 though so maybe that reduced it. Use all the comparsion sites cause one was just giving me quotes of like 1.3k and another gave me the 700 ones

>>36391034
Yes, that's what you should have done in the first place. Are you 12? Do you have any concept of societal norms?

Miso paste: 1.50
Pack of noodles: 2

That's like 4 meals right there lads for 3.50

>>36391079
>I haven't had a single day off ill for over 2 years

Worst part about this is your employer doesn't give a shit or appreciate it.

Loyalty is a meme. Don't fall for it

>>36391124
That's 4 meals of pure sodium right there lad.

>>36391157
Loyalty is a game you play for yourself, not your employer. Use it to get yourself benefits, just don't expect compassion from your employer. Always ask, 'what's in it for me?'

>>36391177
Who cares?

Calories in > calories out is all that matters

Orientals eat a high sodium diet and they're the healthiest in the world.

Lads I'm comfy.

It's snowing outside, I have some ultra-chilled music on, and I'm writing some taglines for a hotel company.

>>36391238
It's not snowing

>>36391238
>It's snowing outside

You up a mountain?

It's sunny as fuck where I am.

>>36391253
>>36391257
I'm in the south of Germany. Bizarrely it has been snowing for the past few days.

There's a man at my work who always talks about his son who is a "neo Nazi" NEET for the last 4 years. I want to ask if his son likes tendies but I'm too scared

>>36390884
Should probably add "quality architecture" to the china side.

>>36391269
What you doing over there lad that's wear hitler lives.

>tfw a bennie scrounger
>still voting conservatives because I'd rather make things harder for myself than give labourcucks and liberals what they want

I might be dole scum but at least I'm not a traitor

>>36391269
get out
britfeel is for ethnically, culturally and geographical british feels

I wish i had a few quid for some ciders to get comfy tonight.

>>36391307
Actually I'm only about 30 miles away from where Hitler wrote Mein Kampf.

>>36391324
I am British but I understand lad. It's not really a Brit feel when I'm talking about snow in another country.

>>36391334
Sent :)

Enjoy yourself, anon.

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>>36388888
QUINTS
OIL RIG IN ALE

>>36388888
len gets quints, couldn't make it up

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>>36388888
Wooooooeeee got ourselves a rodeo. Buuuuckle up buckeroo

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well, /britfeel/?

>>36391414
really zozzles the old mozzles

>>36391414
Surprised that things like this even need to be stated.

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>>36388888
Don't get quints

>>36391414
Vague platitudes in general are stupid.

"Just get your shit together ;^)" really doesn't say anything.

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>>36388888
Len
The chosen one

girls chavs are arguing out side my house. they are saying something about a fight. its fucking frightening

>>36391479
It means:

Get a well paying job or work towards one
Move out of your parents house
Keep a clean place.
Keep yourself clean, healthy and reasonably fit
Develop social skills by having a good social life
Don't obsess about bizarre hobbies

Off to Asda shopping with Mummy and Daddy

What should I get while I'm there?

Any of you lads need anything?

>>36391529
Then it's better to say "fall in line" than "get your shit together".

>>36391532
How old are you, lad? Don't you feel completely humiliated going shopping with your parents?

>>36389426

What do you think about them all getting guns lad?

If they had GPS trackers like jej dreed I think it would be ok, alot of the other eu countries police have them.

I've decided I want to get into red wine.

What's 'good'? Where do you start?

>>36391545
Is this a thing? You do realise if you were a normie grownup and went shopping with your parents it would be completely normal.

>>36391558
not him but I wouldn't have a problem with police packing heat, they might gain a bit more respect from people

>>36391535
It's not really falling in line though.

You can still retain a unique character, as long as you aren't into repulsive things like anime

>>36391545

I'm 21 and I used to care when I was a teen but now I'm over it

Might as well spend time with them before they die

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>>36388888
Well done lenner lad

>>36391322
You're one of the last few with an ounce of integrity chap. Good on you.