>have two friends my whole life >all 3 of us are kissless

>>36243035
devilish thread?
continue pls.

>>36243106
unfortunately thats all i have. concerts are pretty much the only time we interact with the normie world

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>>36243035
Devilish threads have potential to evolve into primordial alpha threads if the devils would just learn to take their honed craft and apply it more directly in a different setting.

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>>36243247
I can supply you friend
>Be me
>Work at restaurant in town center
>lot of Stacies come bc food is expensive and "organic"
>one night I recognize a Stacy
>She ditched me at prom
>time for revenge
>Assign Stacies to a special booth
>Every day, this slob couple sits at the booth
>worst customers
>whiny, poor tippers, and smelly
>we don't even bother to clean it bc they'll make a mess
>fat couple arrives
>assign them table next to Stacies
>Stacies stay there for 2 hours while smelly loud fat people block their path
>One asks me what dish I reccomend
>"Our favorite customers right next to you enjoy this dish"
>Eliminate any cheap meals
>total bill >$150
>Get a $30 tip

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>>36243531
bretty devilish my friend

>>36243822
I have another story about seating a birthday party of autists. Don't let anybody say being the waiter is shitty.

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>14
>Older sister drank coffee everyday
>Wanted to have sex with her, but she's my sister
>Wake up early
>Grab white, vanilla creamer
>Cum in it
>Tell sister I'll go ahead and make her coffee today
>Sister drank it

I still get a boner every time I think about it.

>>36243035
>6'2, 6'3, 6'7

Why don't you all just buy some weights, but it in a garage, and workout together?

In 1-2 years, you'll look tank as hell.

>>36243991
Fuck you
That's extra /devil/

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>Went to college for radio broadcasting (waste of money I know)
>Every Friday the professor would arrange to have a guest speak to us
>One of them was a former MTV VJ who started out in radio, 8/10 Stacy
>We're all allowed to ask her questions
>Ask her if she thought her importance was a factor in her success
>She's totally sidelined, hastily cobbles together a vague response that fails to address the question
>Afterwards a classmate tells me it was rude of me to ask something like that, putting her on the spot
>mfw

>>36244234
>>if her importance was a factor in her success
Wtf does that mean senpai?

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>be me
>am in club with relatives and acquaintances
>there was this one gal I desperately wanted to fuck because I was drunk
>my Chad cousin had easy game with her and was about to hook up with her
>they both were driving home or whatever place they were planning to bang in
>take me with so they can drop me at my place
>getting really envious of my cousin and pissed at that whore for hooking up
>on the ride home I told them about my abusive family/past
>performed Oscar bait act of crying in hope she won't be in mood anymore to fuck him
>they catch my drift and also start to cry, pity me

Then went on with the night as if nothing happened. Why? Because I told my sob-stories a billion times to god knows who and grew dead towards my trauma - I am dead inside for years.

Fuck, I hoped it ruined their night.

>>36244422
I bet your Chad cousin got a boner afterwards and used her sadness to get into her pants.

>>36244422
And I have more to share:
>be 7 year old me
>stay over a weekend at friends of family
>daughter has a hamster
>on evening I go to the cage take the hamster out of the cage and "let it fly" and throw it in the cage several times
>after a couple weeks or months my mom tells me the hamster escaped
>me "lowl fuck bet that was because of me"

>>36244483
Maybe. But they were already making out excessively - it was a sure case especially because they've already been drunk as fuck, so I used everything emotionally manipulative in my repetoire to dismay both of them as much as the situation made it possible. They may have hooked up on another time, but definitely not that night.

What score does my evilness deserve?

>>36243035

> I'm an admitted uggo; but I still blame girls for being a virgin; and I'm so pathetic, I get my kicks by mildly annoying them.

I can't be sure, but you might literally be THE most unbelievably pathetic sack of shit on this entire board.

Devilish bump

>>36243035
that sounds fun as fuck, being with people that are just like you and do fun stuff

>>36246183
> Thinks that doing things to randomly annoy people who've never done anything to them (like a petulant child might) is 'fun'.
> Can't fathom that it could possibly be his own fault that he doesn't have more friends or a girlfriend.

>>36243035

All over 6'? GTFO CHAD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ONLY MANLETS CAN BE ROBOTS

>>36246376
it is fun tho, seeing people mad because of something you did is a very good feel

>there were these three kids who never went to school
>there was a community center about a 5 minute walk away from the highschool I went to, and every morning they would walk there and stay there for the whole school day
>one was a fat, mildly retarded guy who smoked a pack of cigarettes a day. He was pretty infamous around school because the few times he went to class he'd get incredibly nervous and piss his pants.
>one of them was a skinnier guy with a deformed face, he became infamous because he'd do almost anything for money. One day he even let a kid beat him up until he was unconscious for 7$, and he walked around the school asking out the hottest girls to prom just for a single cigarette
>the other was a slightly normal looking guy, I have no idea why he hung out with them but he did, wasn't really bullied at all. Don't remember much about him.
>they were constantly bullied and had no friends but each other
>all of them ended up dropping out at 18, still in grade 10 with no highschool credits gained at all

were you one of those guys?

I always wondered what happened to all of them today.

>>36243035

Don't you ever let some whore come between you.

This is the ruin of male friendships.

>>36244790
>still blame girls for being a virgin
When did he say that? He said he hated normies for picking on him

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>Don't like sneezing on my sleeve
>Always sneeze on whoever was sitting in front of me during high school
>Some chick must have been pissed at me for doing it because the teacher talked about how to be polite when sneezing during one class
>Later that same class sneeze right on her leg
>She looks back at me in disgust looking pissed as fuck while wiping it off
>Give her a look that pretty much said "do something about it"
>She just looks uncomfortable and turns back around
Feels good sneezing on normies and having them back down

>>36244372
I guess he meant her importance because she's female

>>36247763
You were >that kid weren't you?

>>36248277
Depends on what you mean by that kid. If you mean the autistic kid that people picked on then no.

>>36246905
>it is fun tho, seeing people mad because of something you did is a very good feel

Sure, when you're 4 or 5 years old. Most people outgrow it (or are considered assholes and rightfully so).

>>36243357
Oh, please. Most of these stories are either made up or are nothing more than gradeschool-tier tantrums.

>>36243035
>>36243247
what type of concerts are you going to that are full of hot chicks? obviously no good ones

>>36247763
fucking disgusting germ riddled cunt

>>36250135
Get sneezed normalfag

>>36248560
>>36246376
and why do you care?
leave anytime, normalfaggot

>>36251254
I will when I get bored.
Until then, not much you can do about it.

>somewhere, out there, there's a skellington crew standing up for us skellies
God bless your trio, anon