Times when you were the most retarded you could've ever been
>Balls start to hurt
>Pain doesn't go away for days
>Visit a drop-in doctor
>Typical testicle fondling, says he can't find anything wrong with my balls
>Travel to shitty muslim ghetto to get my sack x-rayed
>Dude smears my nuts with this lube and puts a machine on my package
>Get compliments for my wonderful testicular blood circulation, aside from that he can't find a problem
>A sharp pain hit my groin that night
>Drive to the hospital, cringe in pain every time the road gets bumpy
>Had to wait 4 hours before a hairy persian guy fingers my prostate
>Still nothing
>Finally see an urologist
>He's doing the lube thing again, but he presses his little x-ray machine hard against my nuts
>Motherfucker even slaps my balls, hurt like hell
>Sit up from the pain
>He pushes me down in the chair and says with a thick Polish accent
>SZHIT DOWN
>Clean myself up in the toilet after we're done
>Ignore the blood soaked paper towels lying in the bin from a previous patient
>"I have found problem"
>"You wear too small underwear"
>Feel like the biggest idiot in the world
>He puts his hands together and exlaims
>"Healthy young man!"
At this time it had been going on for more than two months. Didn't have to pay shit because socialist Europe, them tax rates to support idiots like me though
Not that hurtful but similar:
>found small black dot on my teeth
>lets go to a free dentist
>inquire about when she sees patients
>go back 2 days later
>wait 2 hrs
>jump in seat, dentist checks it and says its totally fine just a little colorization (or what)
>say thank you and walk out awkwardly
>Board a train
>Start looking for my seat
>I enter a passenger carriage but think I'm going the wrong way and turn back
>Walk up to a door, try to pull it open
>Nothing
>Try to slide it open
>Nothing
>Starting to get really nervous
>People by the door are staring
>I don't know what to do
>About to turn around when this qt 3.14 sitting next to the door looks up at me with her glimmering eyes of mercy
>She pushes the obvious button for the door on the side
>Th-thanks
>Walk out of the carriage
>At least I'll never have to see her again
>Find out I'm going the wrong way
>Have to pass through the same carriage to get to my spot
Not me but another autist back in high school had "do rhymes in other languages rhyme in english or in that language" in his google history.
>>36209440
In situations like that I just jokingly compare whatever it is I failed doing to rocket science, usually makes people chuckle
>>36209440
god I love trains where you can sit wherever you want