>gf said if I poop the bed one more time she'll

It's hard to believe she didn't do it after the second time

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Can you greentext a story pls

typical roastie quick to persecute any man that deviates from the idea of a 10/10 chad

>>36201506
made me laugh anon good shit

>shitting the bed as an adult
just kill yourself honestly

>>36201506
HAHA MR POOOPY PANTS HAHA ANON POOPS POOPY POOOP POOOP POOP POOP
POOP POOP POOP POOP
POOP POOP MR POOPY
DIRTY UNDERWEAR HAHA POOP POOP

>>36202037
>sexy time with gf
>she gets up before me because I work 2nd shift and she usually works mornings
>almost always slip an adult diaper on before bed because I have loose bowels
>forgotten or been too tired more than once, effectively rolling the dice
>playing craps, so to speak
>lost my fair share of bets
>she said she's finally had it
That's pretty much all there is to it. Not that complicated.

>>36202098
dont bully him maybe he has issue
>>36201506
do u know why you poop the bed?

>>36202106
>loose bowels

it's from all the dicks, isn't it, OP?

>>36202145
Uhh, no, not exactly.

>>36202177
well now you're going to have to explain what it is from

>>36202177
>Uhh, no, not exactly

what the fuck? I was kidding. What does "not exactly mean"
you're a home of secsuals aren't you, OP?

>>36201506
>gf

get the fuck off my board fucking normie

>>36202225
I was born with it. I just don't have the control a normal person would have. >>36202241
That was my way of saying no.

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>>36202287
bullshit, no one would say "not exactly" unless they had something up the poop shoot. What is it OP. Spill your secrets like you spill the brown sewage in your bed.

>>36202287
so did you get a medical diagnosis or anything or is it just something you've always accepted?

>>36201506
Break up with her first. She'll never see it coming.

>>36202331
It's just something I've always lived with. I could never really "hold it" growing up.

>>36201506
stop shitting the bed you fucking shitlord

You know how when a dog shits on the carpet you're supposed to rub its face in it? You should rub your girlfriend's face in your shit.

>>36202357
This guy has the right idea. The best option in love is a pre-emptive strike. It'll protect your heart the majority of the time.

>>36202446
so do you shit yourself all the time or do you get advanced warning sometimes and go to the bathroom?

>>36202513
>pre-emptive strike

sounds like that's OP's specialty

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>>36202551
ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too low in contentlmao

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>>36201506
lol u are dumb
why dont you pay your gf to stay with you

>>36202538
I can feel it coming and when I'm awake I can almost always make it to the bathroom. But when I wake up in the middle of the night in that sleepy twilight state I almost always just say fuck it and shit myself.

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>>36202106

one time among my normie friends a breakup happened and the girl came home to the now ex-couples apartment and the guy smeared shit all over it

he plastered the apartment with shit like an absolute mad man. Who knows how he did it. Maybe he saved up the POO cause he knew its going to end.

You should do the same.

>Chad can LITERALLY shit the bed and still get a GF
HOW ARE WE MEANT TO COMPETE

>>36202909
By realising that even retards get lucky. Stop trying to fight Chad and start working on yourself.

>>36202712
>just say fuck it and shit myself
Cmon man wtf

>>36203066
What am I supposed to do? I work hard and I'm tired and I don't always want to get up.

>>36203212
Don't you end up working even harder later though cause you have to clean up all the shit?

>>36203264
No, that's her job.

>>36203294
Ok now I know you're lying.

>>36203329
I work 60, sometimes 70 hour weeks in a 90+ degree steel treatment plant. She works 20-30 hours at Walmart. You're honestly going to tell me I should do my own laundry when she lives in my home?

>>36203402
Dude I'm assaiming you're lying and if you aren't you're an asshole and a retard for shitting yourself and making your gf deal with it.

>>36203425
>provide someone with a home, food, tv, internet, cell phone, nice clothes, and the occasional luxury like a nice dinner or jewelry
>somehow an asshole for expecting something in return
You're a woman, aren't you?

>>36203425
stupid dumb roastie whore

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>>36202106

Laughed way too hard at this original pizza

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>>36202106
>playing craps
MY FUCJING SIDES KEK

>>36203402
Surely even cleaning the shit off your own ass is a pain?

>>36204247
I obviously wipe my own ass.
My god I didn't know this would be a fucking AMA.

>>36204362
>I obviously wipe my own ass.
Yeah I don't know what that idiot was thinking, your bathroom habits are clearly impeccable.