My fleshlight arrived today. Here's what I learned. By the

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>>36186799
>I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.

Jesus fucking christ call me a normie but you are a joke.
You must be seriously repulsive to be in such a position where your mother accepts you for being so desperate and lonely that she tests a sex toy for you.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
Post your face robot

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>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.

>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.
Excuse me, what the fuck ?

>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.
Sounds like you're very close to your mother, fuck her instead.

>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing
This is mildly horrifying

BEFORE I USED IT FOR FUCK'S SAKE

I don't see the problem.
I told her I was going to buy one and she agreed.
I just wanted to know if it's close to the real thing by someone who has an actual vagina.

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>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.

What

>>36186799
so how did it feel? oh yeah there is a blowjob machine you can buy.

>>36186903
>BEFORE I USED IT FOR FUCK'S SAKE
I'm sure most anons knew that. It's just that it's weird that you told your mother to check out a sex toy for you.

I'm not judging you like most normies are right now, btw. I wish I was that intimate with my mother.

>>36186903
weird, but genius

good thing you asked your mom

>>36186799
Just get a circumcision OP, fucking hell.
The first 2 weeks are hell but after that it'll be amazing. You'll love masturbating and sex will be amazing. Trust me, your friendly neihbourhood anon.

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>>36186903
>I told her I was going to buy one and she agreed.

>>36186951
>supporting circumsicion
What the fuck is wrong with you man

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>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.
>>36186903
>I don't see the problem.
>I told her I was going to buy one and she agreed.

>>36186799
>having your mum test it
Andreas is that you?

>>36186951
>your friendly neighbourhood kike
Ftfy

>>36186996
To be fair the order is uncut>cut>phimosis

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>>36186799
very good post, friend

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>>36187072
Why your dick look like Zetsu?

>>36187064
most cases of phimosis can be cured with topical steroids. Don't fall for the circumcision jew.

>>36186799
>>36186903
But seriously how do you not realise that having your mother "test" your sextoy is not normal? Wouldn't it be really awkward and wierd to ask your mom "Hey mom could you test to see if my fleshlight feels like a real pussy?"

>>36186918

In my case, painful. "Screaming over her moans" tier painful.
As I said, Aside from that, it covers you completely in a soft, slippery """skin""". Nothing like your hand and it's not as intense but feels good.

Really, if you have a working dick you will enjoy it.
I wish I could. At least I'm not curious about sex anymore.

And fucking hell guys.
After all the weird fucked up shit you post here, THIS is what you find crazy and weird? Yes, I'm really close with my mother. I wanted to know if it's close to the real thing by someone who literally has one. Fuck off.

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>>36186903
did she pay for the fleshlight, anon?

>>36187108

No, I did.
Originally.

>>36187106
Your fleshlight moans? I bet that was expensive!

>>36186799
you should ask if you can fuck her so you can see if the fleshlight is like the real thing

>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.

Is this real or copypasta?

>>36187104
>But seriously how do you not realise that having your mother "test" your sextoy is not normal?
>not normal
>caring about what's normal on /r9k/
It's not like the fuck is masturbating to Child Pornography or Zoosadism, for fucks sake.

Normies, begone

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>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.
>>36186903
>I told her I was going to buy one and she agreed.
>I just wanted to know if it's close to the real thing by someone who has an actual vagina.
Pls be real

>>36186835
Fuck you Noah.

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>>36187128
how did you rationalize paying for it yourself? have her pay next time so that you don't waste money on bad investment!

I don't see the problem guys. Haven't you ever had your mom make sure your halloween candy was safe to eat as a kid? It is basically the same thing, just with a sex toy.

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THIS IS THE KIND OF REACTION I WOULD EXPECT FROM NORMIES IF I TOLD THEM THIS, NOT YOU SUBHUMAN FUCKS

WHAT THE FUCK
NORMIES GET THE FUCK OUT

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>I had my mother "test" it
god damn that's some fucking cringe

>>36186799
This is real. There was a thread a couple of days ago about a guy who had ordered a FL, but not before telling his mum so he wouldn't have to "stealth".

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>>36187100
Definitely worth trying sure, but if your dick looks like pic related then that might not be enough.

>>36187201
>>36187206
This, I stand with OP. Stop bullying him you fucking normans.

>>36186799
>it's pretty close to the real thing

No offense, but if I had a son and he asked me that I'd say the same, no matter if it actually felt close to the real thing or not. You wouldn't want to risk him asking for a go at the real thing.

stop porn dumbass

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>>36186799
>I had my mother "test" it, sked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing
>>36186903
>BEFORE I USED IT FOR FUCKS SAKE
>I don't see the problem

>>36187250
You'd at least let him slide a finger in just to double-check, wouldn't you?

>>36187277
That's gross, anonymous.

>>36187206
we might be subhuman fucks but this is too much even for us. there are just some things you can't do no matter how autistic you are. your mom probably thinks you're the biggest loser ever to exist. you just can't reveal your power level like that

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>>36186799 (OP)
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing
THIS SHIT CANNOT BE REAL WAKE ME UP

>>36187245
I agree with you, I used to have moderate phimosis (could retracted skin when flaccid, but not when fully erect). And I would've got circumcised if topical steroids wouldn't have helped.

>we might be
speak for yourself

>>36187302
Parents should want the best for their children.

>>36187206
Have some awareness
You asked your mother if your sex toy felt like her vagina. Jesus Christ man.
Should have just let her know you got one and that's it.

>>36187302
we totally believe you're someone's mom

>>36186835
Yeah, jesus christ I thought I was pathetic but fucking hell OP, thats just beyond miserable.

>>36187309
>we might be subhuman fucks
It's pitiable and cringe worthy, but me laughing at OP is ironic since I'm also an autist that browses /r9k/.

>>36187206
Was your mother uncomfortable when you asked? Did she agree to it right away.

>>36187250
>>36187302
Fuck off, your ERPing faggot.

>>36187277
>>36187302
Samefag

Oreo McFlurry

>>36187309
>your mom probably thinks you're the biggest loser ever to exist.
That's why he asked her. She already knows that you unemphatic normie retards

>>36186799
I bet the only reason you made this thread is so we'd laugh at you for having your mom test it because you wanna be the next le ebin plebbit screencap. god I hate you people

>>36187380

No, she agreed immediately and acted perfectly normal.
Yeah, we're close.
I wanted to know, no other females available, so I asked her.

Seriously, I don't fucking get you guys.
What's the big deal?
Fuck you people.

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>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.

Sure you did bro

Europeans everybody
They all act like this

>>36186799
>antidepressants have completely fucked my dick up, can't get hard by just watching, I need to stroke it
>tfw I'm like this except I don't take any medicine

>>36187447
If OP was European he would haved female friends that he could ask for a pity fuck.

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>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.
why anon
why

>>36187428
>Seriously, I don't fucking get you guys.
>What's the big deal?
>Fuck you people.
Ignore the haters, OP.

You're on a board with people who've posted stories about sniffing their mother's panties (even crossdress with them), fantasize about fucking their own relatives, are into degenerate shit like bestiality and diapers. I've also read about anons using their parents sex toys, so you're not that bad yourself.

The only ones giving you flack are the normies.

>>36187509

Exactly what I'm thinking man.
Yeah ok, it's weird but it's not like I said I fucked a corpse or something.
I thought I was among friends but apparently this place is normies roleplaying or posting ironically.

>>36187616
There was also a "fembot" trip who used to work in a morgue and fantasize about fucking corpses, don't know if she ever had sex with a corpse though.

I'm guessing it's the /uni/ normies shitting on you atm.

>>36187656
Necrochan was real and she was really fucked up. The few times I talked to her she seemed nice but this was after years of therapy.

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>>36187206
I don't knwo what to say so original

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>>36186903
fuck these normies OP, that's sweet of her and you shouldn't be ashamed just because it's unconventional.

I hope your life gets better someday so you can drop the meds and get a healthy dick back and start living your own life.

>>36186799
>I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.
Fucking WHY!?

>>36186799
Ask your doctor to put you on bupropion if you are comfortable adding another medication. It will likely help with the anorgasmia and ED that come with SSRI type drugs.

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>>36186799
>>36186903
inclube me in le screencap

>>36187704
Was necrochan also the "fembot" who was obsessed with her schizophrenic neighbor? They both used to avatarfag with a character from oblongs, if I'm not mistaken.

>>36187737

Thanks.
You know, this is by far my most succesful thread on r9k.
I've posted my "deep" thoughts and feelings a shitload of times, get like 10 replies.
I post something slightly not normal and get 70.

Man, years of being called shit on 4chan has made me, I don't know. I want to say "tough" but not really, you know what I mean. Like, a few years back I would be really, really upset right now.

Now I don't feel anything or give a single fuck.
If anything, I'm happy one of my threads got so many replies.

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>>>36186799 (OP)
>>I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.

>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it
what the fuck

>>36187904
>I post something slightly not normal
Welcome to nu /r9k/. Just roll with it, but some of us don't genuinely find this funny.

>>36187898
I think so. She had some deep lore. And I remember her trip was necrofag not -chan.

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>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.

This and these replies are why I stick around.

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>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.
...The fuck?

Hello /r/4chan normies

I'm going to post some more info, maybe you fuckers will understand. Maybe not, I don't really care.

She knew I had phimosis. If anything, she also wanted to know if it's realistic, to learn if I can have sex with a woman or what and how it's gonna affect me and what we'll have to do about it. If it's gonna be a problem or not. We don't have secrets. She is not a prude.

Is that really so weird? So crazy?
I honestly don't get you people.

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Screencap this sheiiiit pls.

>>36188101
>>She knew I had phimosis.
Get yourself some topical steroids, anon.

>If anything, she also wanted to know if it's realistic, to learn if I can have sex with a woman or what and how it's gonna affect me and what we'll have to do about it.

Your mom sounds nice, anon. How old are you?

>>36188125

She is. I'm 21.

>>36188104
>das bild
Was zum Fick

>>36188101
Okay that actually makes things sound way less weird. You should have said that before.

>>36188101
>to learn if I can have sex with a woman
You're never going to have sex with a woman, lol.

>>36188141
I actually find that to be sweet of her, but then again, I'm into momcest.
Like the other anon said, it's unconventional, but your mother actually seems to be very open minded in relation to sex subjects.

It shouldn't be considered weird to ask your parents for sex advice imo.

>>36186951
Found the Jew. Found the Jew. Hey, everyone look a Jew.

>>36188225
>You're never going to have sex with a woman, lol.
That's to be expected from an /r9k/ poster tho. If OP had sex, I'd REEEEE his ass

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>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.
If only this was real.

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>>36186799
>I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.

Origami

>tfw even autistic losers laugh at you

You're a freak among freaks, OP, with a special kind of unaware autism

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>>36188290
>FB filename
>having a facebook ac
Further proof, that OP is getting bombarded by normies.

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Suuuuuure OP. That happened.

I think its awesome that you and your mom share such a close bond. Also I think she is down to fudge.

>>36188315
If you laugh at OP, then you're a normie bully. Everyone that doubts him and support him, are robots.

Can't say I speak for everyone itt though.

>>36188350
You should test her bagina to see if it's similar next, OP.

If your mom truly feels bad and cares about you, she will let you use her pussy

I give my mom the D sometimes, but I have to be careful because she gets clingy as fuck

>>36188378
Post nudes of your mom with timestamp you lying faggot.

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>>36186903
Sounds like you got some repressed sexual tension with your mum, why don't you just fuck her?

>>36188425
This. OP, ask your mother for some practice sex.

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>>36188323
>Falling for the b8
Originally

>>36188378
Please, post pics.

t. anon that wants to fuck his mother

EVERY BODY READ THIS POST BEFORE MOCKING OP
>>36188101
SHE IS JUST A NICE MOM WHO CARES FOR HER SON

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>>36188378
>she gets clingy as fuck
so this is what it feels like to have an intellectual fetish

OP, if you're still here, would you fuck your mother? Is she a single mother? If she's this close to you, you probably have a chance make it out of robothood.

Try making a move on her, you might have something special in your hands.

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Should have just got an anal hole and used your boy puss as reference OP.

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>I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.
What did OP mean by this?

>>36187206
Were abnormal loner virgins, but most of us draw the line at borderline wincest

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Include me in on the /r/4chan screenshot please

>>36188736
>but most of us draw the line at borderline wincest
>implying most anons don't wanna fuck their sisters.
Momcest should be less taboo desu

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OP didn't do anything wrong. It goes to show how low this board has fallen, you're all normalfags masking behind smug anime pictures and the "robot" title.

>>36188673
OP meant he has a bad case of phimosis that his mom knew about and he bought the fleshlight in the first place because he wanted to know if he could properly have sex with a woman and his mom wanted to at least make sure it was realistic enough.

>>36189072
I legitimately feel bad for him. In his previous post he said this shit didn't phase him, but I'm sure the anons laughing at him scared him from the thread. At most, I expected people making jokes about how he should fuck his mother, but they just bullied him.

I blame reddit.

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>>36186951
4chan is an anonymous board

>>36188101
8 years after puberty she wonders if you can fuck? And to reiterate, you asked *your mom if your new fl feels like *her pussy.

>>36189725
He has phimosis, so his mother is probably curious if you can fuck without retracting the foreskin? probably wants to know if it hurts.

either way, OP left, he can't answer our questions now.

>>36186799
link the fleshlight you bought

>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.

Fan-Fucking-tastic my friend, to do this you would either need balls of pure steel or such a level of unawareness that is the pure physical embodiment of the autism that is /r9k/.

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>>36186799
>I had my mother "test" it

>>36187475
Porn induced ED look it up, you need to stop fapping to porn

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>>36186799
>>36186903
hello again dear redditors

include me in the screencap

hi mum :^)

I love this thread goddamn thanks for the laugh. Really was in the need of it

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>>36188104
Here you go anon, enjoyy

>>36186799
All i read was you had your mom test it out (((wtf in every single imaginable sense of fuck)))

And something about you having a small dick.

Kys.

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Include me in the 'cap famalama

>>36186799
>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.

I want to believe

>>36186799
>I had my mother "test" it

i had to suppress a scream. well done, op.

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>>36186799
>>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.>By the way, I had my mother "test" it, asked her to put a finger in, she said it's pretty close to the real thing.

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>>36186799
>fleshlight
>not an onahole
You did this to yourself op

Zoomy text me in the screen cap