>haven't taken a shit in three weeks
>>36163610
peppermint tea helps
>>36163610
enema
honestly it's hella easy, just get a plastic bottle of water and stretch a bit to fit it in, then pour
I'm really not trolling here, it always helps my constipation. Hold it in for a minute or so to make sure your bowel is absorbing or some shit.
good luck OP
>I'm constantly full of shit
>Sometimes I manage to squeeze out some, but never a whole log
>This never used to be the case, I didn't change my diet or anything
>I can't stop farting
>We just hired a bunch of qt interns who keep walking past the lab
Why is this happening, Anons?
>>36164880
Really poor diet. Do you drink lots of alcohol?
>>36164880
you are dehydrated
you anus internals are not lubricated
>>36164880
>>I can't stop farting
>>I'm constantly full of shit
>>past the lab
You sound fucking revolting.
>>36164880
You're constipated, probably have a blockage. Give yourself an enema or go to the chemist and get some laxatives.
Also drink more water and eat fruit you disgusting gaseous fuck
>>36163610
as the advice already given to hydrate
also i have advice as a sedantry NEET, if you can't get a shit out start lifting some heavy furniture around the room, enough to strain your weak NEET muscles, then squat over the toilet and rock your fat ass up and down in a swinging motion whilst pushing hard trying to shit
this worked for me when i am constipated
try not to swing ure ass too far forward and shit on the floor though, which happened to me after 3 days of not being able to shit after i used this method, a huge mass of clogged up shit shot out like a bullet and also splatted the wall
>>36165489
>and rock your fat ass up and down in a swinging motion whilst pushing hard trying to shit
what an image
I just drank 3 liters of water and the feeling of shit in my ass is starting to come back
thank you guys
I should really stop drinking 30 beers without any water
>>36164880
Colon cancer? Go see a doctor asap.
>>36165489
> whilst pushing hard trying to shit
As a nurse I'm gonna go ahead and say that it is inadvisable to strain while trying to shit.
If you have 1> shit per week that is also not a good situation.
Eat more fibre (veggies/fruit at every meal), exercise as often as possible, and drink plenty of plain water throughout the day.
>>36165666
>that it is inadvisable to strain while trying to shit.
why satan?
>>36165679
Long term can lead to cardiovascular problems.
>>36165666
>Eat more fibre (veggies/fruit at every meal), exercise as often as possible, and drink plenty of plain water throughout the day.
I swear I could be a nurse or doctor, all their medical advice is wikipedia tier easy
>>36165666
wrong, firing bullet shits out your asshole is cool
>>36165747
Yea it's not rocket science to give basic health advice that the public should already be aware of.
I've had IBS for a decade and a couple of recent episodes the diarrhea's been horrendous so I'm a nervous wreck now. Took about 10 Imodium and a load of codeine to go out at the weekend, so I'm now taking laxatives to try to get it out before some kind of explosion
Senna got me quite a bit out this morning, lad. Give that a go
Does anyone else have intestines with a side track?
You know how railways have half circle add-on sections so one train can get out of the way for another? I think my intestines have that.
Cause I eat the same thing every day for the most part. Really high fiber diet, lots of vegetables.
And I have a normal shit every morning.
Except sometimes, mysteriously, I have a HUGE shit. I practically fill up the toilet bowl. It just keeps coming. It's like a chocolate soft serve machine with the handle duct taped into the on position.
But it's like. Where did it come from? The next day I, once again, have a normal shit.
My only theory is that my guts have a side-track that gets emptied at odd intervals.