>>36125062 you don't want to be schizo

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fem schizo here
worst thing to be
you become less and less interesting because the only thing you can think about is if anything is real
lost all my friends and they laugh about my delusions

I finally figured out how to make friends and now im going insane. I have until my late 20s and then i will be fully gone.

>>36125125
what are your delusions?

they can be horrifying

>>36125062
She looks a tad bit like Aggy.

>>36125062
Kill yourself and hope you can be in the next life.

>>36125188
>don't you wish you could be that deep

let me tell you something.. I'm currently in a process for getting diagnosed, and I can tell you I have already seen the abyss.

You don't want to be a schizo, trust me with all the entirety of you consciousness

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tfw no batshit crazy schizo gf

>>36125062
who is this?

unoriginal comment

I like to think that I'd be able to stick by her, put up with all of the craziness, and do everything I can to help her.
And I'd want to, I would hate myself for ever abandoning her.

But if I'm honest with myself, I don't know if I could.
I'd give up eventually, and I hate myself for that.

>>36125358
http://throbbinggristle.tumblr.com/tagged/my-face

No one will ever love you once they realize they can never fix you.

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>>36125062
Don't worry you're already crazy

Man, heroin really did a number on Ciara

>cute
>schizo
>girl
Which of the three are you working on becoming?

>>36125399
woah she likes nge and the swans too

>>36125062
Take a butcher knife to your wiener.

>>36125419
this is so true that it hurt to read this. i cant do anything about it

>>36125522
kek'd hard

fuck sake

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>tfw no gf who is a weirdo like you

worst feel

>>36125125
>tfw delusions that I'm being poked and prodded by outside forces to commit suicide

Fug, why can't I think I'm the king of Spain or something

How does one go schizo? i dont know if its possible

>>36125062
>How do I become a cute schizo girl /r9k/?
>I'm a male btw

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>>36125153
I constantly see hands falling from the tops of windows. Every door, window, anything that leads to another space, I see different figures/lights/patterns. Sometimes the figures chase me or lunge toward me. I will come to my home and go to my room and think i went into the wrong room and i went down the wrong path and that another version of myself is in danger and if i move the other side of me will lose against the oppressors and I will die.

The scariest one is that my hands twist in 360 degrees from my wrists over and over untill i look at them. sometimes it doesnt work. every day i hope that i will be able to use my hands again and that i wont lose control of them. everyday i feel like im going down the wrong path and going to die along with the other versions of me in other universes.


>>36125739
This. only one kind of schizophrenia is actually cool, other kind blows.

>>36126261
those are hallucinations, but yeah, that sounds scary.

delusions are having beliefs that you can't convince yourself of otherwise, like me, I believe that I have unlocked the hive mind of humanity and have synchronized my thoughts with the universe being able to predict how other people can behave, the weird thing is that I've proved this to be fairly accurate, I can't tell if I just think of every possible scenario or if I'm truly delusional.

One day I got traumatized so badly after I screwed up and I've been getting thoughts about how I won't be reincarnated into the afterlife.

there's A LOT more but I don't want to get into it

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>>36126369
already said that i believe that im connected to other versions of myself in other dimensions and i feel like if i move in this world, i will die in the other ones.

thats the only one i experience though

>>36126450
So you did.. Can we control the multiverse together?

and then we can live the rest of our spiritual existences in limbo?

>>36126132
visit the thinspo threads on /fa/ for starters

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>>36125125
::hugs you::

You can do it.

Quick r9k.
How do I become schizophrenic.
(im probably bipolar already but still)

>>36126820
you really don't want to..

but you'd have to trick yourself into believing complex theories, and then you need to traumatize yourself specifically to confirm these theories.

that's what happened to me anyways

>>36126820
create a person in your mind and talk to it. talk for it, make it answer questions about itself (by using your mind to talk in it's voice) and eventually start having full conversations with this thought-form. If you do it right, the thoughts feel like they're coming from something other than your own mind and it feels like almost like a separate entity to you entirely. its called a tulpa and mimics schizophrenic symptoms pretty well.

>>36126897
>you really don't want to..
its a sacrifice for the greater good, to change my fate and live as i wish i must have schizophrenia.
>but you'd have to trick yourself into believing complex theories, and then you need to traumatize yourself specifically to confirm these theories.
But what do you experience anon? i feel it may not be enough.
Do you have delusions, hallucinations, voices, etc.?

>>36126942
Ive been aware of the tulpa thing for a while (thanks still) but it only mimics schizphrenia, i can see myself going with it if theoriginal plan cannot be achieved.
Thanks anon.

>>36126948
heavy delusions, I'm >>36126369
I'd rather not get into it right now because I don't want to type so much.

I've experienced an auditory hallucination once and I believe that I was being communicated by an both angel and a demon

Well then anon, i appreciate your help, served me a lot. (same to >>36126942)
Thanks
>>36126369
>One day I got traumatized so badly after I screwed up and I've been getting thoughts about how I won't be reincarnated into the afterlife.
Sounds oddly familiar now that i think of it.

>I believe that I was being communicated by an both angel and a demon
That is the perfect outcome for this plan.

>>36127071
yeah you really don't want it anon.

I've been living in constant fear for the past 3 months, and it feels like it isn't going away anytime soon.

It's like something triggered a primitive instinct inside me and know I'm on guard all day and with insomnia at night

>>36126261
Damn you need some meds

>>36126261
have you ever done LSD by any chance?

>>36126820
You don't. Unless you start developing it naturally youll just end up being someone who pretends, much like >>36126897

>>36127107
>yeah you really don't want it anon.
At the beggining those thougths were all inside me, it didnt take long for myself to be conviced that is all for the best its like the longing for it and the need and the plan all started breeding inside me, leaving me with a clear path.
>>36127183
And still i know that what >>36127183 speaks is the truth, while there is a possibility of me developing naturally ( delusions have been becoming more frequent) I still wonder if this is all phony.
But there has to be a way anon.

>>36127183
listen, I'm not pretending, I've yet to get my diagnoses but I'm getting an EEG scan on the 21st.

There's so much that I've left out, Idk if there's a specific mental illness for having intense delusions, but it's driven me to tears.

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>>36127246
>i tricked myself into believing im schizophrenic
>i havent gotten diagnosed at all

Im afraid ill develop schizophrenia.
As a kid i used to be pretty paranoid about stuff and i still have that, for example if someone offers me food i believe its posined or if someone borrows/gifts me something, they can spy me with it, i can hear voices calling me when there is no one near (but i believe thats kind of normal) maybe its all nothing.

>>36127316
listen you cunt, having delusions isn't tricking yourself.

what makes you think you know everything about someone over the internet?

>>36127383
>but you'd have to trick yourself into believing complex theories, and then you need to traumatize yourself specifically to confirm these theories

>that's what happened to me anyways

You're faking it, plain and simple. You even admit it.

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>>36125399
What happened to her?
Orgonalgo

>>36127414
I'm saying that to someone who is trying to get it for themselves you fucking shit stain

I didn't trick myself, it came to me on its own.
I wasn't sitting in my room willingly trying to contemplate countless of possibilities on how the universe works only to end with finding out that I might have given myself over to Satan.

>>36127468
>I'm saying that to someone who is trying to get it for themselves you fucking shit stain

Whatever helps you sleep at night, boyo

>>36127536
you can quote me all you want, that doesn't make you anymore right.

for the record, nothing helps me sleep at night, I literally lay in bed and wait until I pass out.

>>36127551
You can sit here and pretend you are schizophrenic all night, but the fact is that people who are actually schizophrenics dont fight this hard to convince people of their mental illness.

>>36127591
you say that like you've experienced a mental illness yourself?

go on then, show me your perception on how a mentally ill person should behave.

>>36127652
I have a schizophrenic brother. He's not an attention whore like you are.

>>36127681
your brother isn't parading around 4chan talking to an obnoxious know it all cunt.

If you met me in person you wouldn't tell the difference between me and a sane person

>>36127743
>If you met me in person you wouldn't tell the difference between me and a sane person

Because you are faking it. I already knew that.

>>36127777
or because I don't talk at all.

now fuck off, you're seriously the most annoying cunt I've ever seen on r9k

what are you even doing here?

tell me more about your brother, how is he schizophrenic?

>>36126820
Drug induced psychosis.

>>36127817
Bitch please, you havent even been diagnosed. If you want more ideas about how schizophrenic people act then I suggest learning to use google better so you can fool the doctor.

>>36127841
>Drug induced psychosis.
Im not a drugs guy for now, how long would this psychosis last? just during the high?

>>36127862
now he's getting offended

listen to yourself, the only reason you thought I was faking was because you read one word "trick" and that's because I was giving tips on someone who is allegedly sane and trying to do it himself, I can't guarantee it would work for him but if he wants to try then go ahead.

you're a fucking idiot, and this is a mentally ill person telling you this.

you should get yourself checked because of how stubborn your shitty personality has made you

>>36127908
So Im offended for calling you out on your bullshit?

Also not actually being diagnosed and being this persistent about having a certain illness is why I know you are faking. You are trying to convince strangers you are schizophrenic, which is something a schizophrenic would not actually do.

>>36127869
Smoke a shit ton of meth. Way more than you should. You'll be hallucinating and behaving strangely for ~12 hours.

>>36128012
I'm not trying to convince anyone, I said that I've had delusions, fuck face.

and if you can't see how someone could get offended by hearing his intense experience being "fake" then you're clearly a fucking idiot with no sense on how others can behave.

get your head out of your asshole

>>36128063
>I'm not trying to convince anyone

All the posts youve been making say otherwise lel

>>36128094
the amount of thought you put into that response..

good night

>>36128056
>Smoke a shit ton of meth. Way more than you should. You'll be hallucinating and behaving strangely for ~12 hours.
Ok then anon, shame its not permanent

>>36128104
I thought you couldnt sleep? I knew you were faking that shit too haha

>>36128123
>shame

Who's to say you won't run out into the middle of a highway at 4 AM and get smeared by a car?

>>36128150
Nvm, I misread your post.

>>36128168
>>36128150
what did you misread im curious?

>>36128194
"shame is not permanent"

I thought you meant the shame of smoking meth. You could easily die during a psychotic episode, which would be permanent.

Stick a chopstick up your nose until you pass out

>>36126261
your friends were right for laughing thats pretty funny

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>>36127150

Yeah, i love acid. makes my hallucinations and stuff worse every time. been experiencing things like this as long as i could remember though. was raised christian. thought it was ghosts.

on one trip i met "god" and realized that we all exist in infinite dimensions and we are connected to every single one of the other versions of ourselves. psychedelics are how we connect to "god" if you can even call it that.

>>36126500

sure friend lets go on adventures and trip balls together.

>>36126655

thank you. im not gonna give up. at least i can laugh at cringe, adds some light to my life, pic related

>>36125062
I'm a schizo girl and I hate myself and I hate you too OP for sexualizing a severe illness that has ruined countless lives. There's nothing cute about psychosis and paranoia

>>36129888
It's cute to watch you swirl down the drain.

>>36125062
how old is this girl?
asking for scientific reasonss

>>36130052
I can tell. The men on here only want a schizophrenic woman so they can laugh and get off to someone else's pain knowing how vulnerable someone with such an illness is. Nobody loves.

>>36130215
Hello I do love very much.
Thank you for your attention.

>>36130164
underage

originil

The girl in the OP post is autistic officially diagnostised

>>36130413
I'm gonna need source on that my dear anon acquaintance

>>36130370
Robots cannot love, can't even love themselves.

SCHIZOID DONT LIKE SOCIAL INTETACTION

SOOOOO SCHIZOID DONT FEEL BAD BECAUSE DONT HAVE FRIENDS AND DONT FEEL BAD BECAUSE IS SOCIALLY ISOLATED

SCHIZOID LIKE BEING LONELY

>>36130441
http://throbbinggristle.tumblr.com
She's 17
Not schizophrenic but has autism and ocd and agoraphobia
She found the thread I think because people messaged her but I think she knows about 4chan considering her archive has 4chan memes even in 2014

>>36130536
i hope anons just leave this girl alone and don't obsess over her, she seems nice and doesn't deserve this

>>36127432
holy fuck she has zizek and sartre and deleuze on her bookshelf

>>36130536
she likes noise music? this keeps getting weirder and better

>>36130571
i messaged her and immediately regretted it because i imagine she must have to deal with enough people already
i've seen a few threads with her face before

>smoke spice
You're obviously 15 so this will fuck you up for a bit
>take psychedelics
The spice is just a planted seed, you will experience psychotic symptoms and then dissociation. Take a high amount of any psychedelic for about 3 months. You can micro dose acid, take at least an eighth of shrooms at least once a week, smoke Salvia once a day, and do all of that while smoking hash. This will have you experience hallucinations more often and more severely.
>construct your delusions
Read online articles or literature about what you're experiencing, and try to decide a nature behind what you are experiencing. I, for instance, used to think the voices I heard were people watching me and spying on me with telescopes. I then filled my mind with whatever I could get my hands on to explain my odd predicament, which led me to believe people were broadcasting me in a telepathic network only to better persecute me.

>>36126942
I've been doing this since I'm 13, and I have never, ever, went nuts.

>>36130754
it's not that weird, just standard avant-teen taste
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Avant%20Teen

>>36131057
the fact that theres a vague term for it doesnt mean its not weird
this is pretty weird

>>36131133
if you go on sites dedicated to cataloging art like letterboxd or rym you'll find a bunch of these types.

>>36131153
it's like acting like a girl you see in walmart talking about pepe and shit
just because youre used to it because youre in those circles doesnt mean its not an anomaly

>>36131210
well i mean it's an anomaly in terms of the general population of course, but i'm saying that in certain groups there are a bunch of these people who are into obscure music, art, philosophy, and yes many of them happen to be cute girls. maybe you've never encountered these people before so it could seem strange, just google 'avant-teen'.

>>36130754
you retards realize she just does this for attention right

>>36131818
You mean exist? She didn't even post her books, they were in the background.

>>36131818
everybody does things for attention, except for like hermits and monks.

>>36132007
She is literally a hermit.

>>36132061
yeah except now we have the internet so people can get attention and social interaction on there, which i don't blame them. i mean a hermit who's completely isolated from society.

>>36132101
You seem to keep great tabs on her, yeah, anon?

>>36125062

This girl is cute.

CUTE!

>>36132166
Yes having followed her Tumblr in the past and then happening to see a thread on her here is soooo creepy.

>>36132222
I don't think she's pretentious. That would imply she's trying to seem smart. I don't think there's anything lacking genuineness in what she writes. Seems fine to me but I haven't been following her. Although in her archive her posts from years ago seem about the same as they do now, just tidbits about day to day affairs and weird stream of consciousness shit.

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>>36125125
>>36125739
>>36126261
>Fug, why can't I think I'm the king of Spain or something
>This. only one kind of schizophrenia is actually cool, other kind blows.

Hello, Manic Depressive here, sounds like a classic mania to me. Too bee honest, that kind of psychosis isn't really all that cool; people end up getting hurt pretty quickly. My oldest friend ended up walking into a bad part of town and getting shot in the face. The unfortunate part is that delusions are biggest challenge to compensation and once you start getting properly gripped by them you really start to lose the reliability of your reasoning.

>I have until my late 20s and then i will be fully gone.
Nah, I was really bad around 17-20, then things calmed down a bit since I went to hospital and got a job afterwards. Still have to be on medication though; I've been (erm) unofficially cutting down for a bit recently, and some bad old familiar feelings have been creeping in again. Generally though, since my late 20s my medication regime has stabilised and life is looking more sustainable from now on.

It's kinda weird, thinking about "the future". Not used to that.

>they laugh about my delusions
Are they laughing with you as a kind of black-humour coping mechanism? I do that a lot. If they're just making fun of you then I'm sorry. It's hard having friends if you have a psychotic disorder; you just tend to scare people.

>>36126369
>I believe that I was being communicated by an both angel and a demon
What a coincidence, as a manic depressive I have been both God and the Devil.

>>36129888
>sexualizing a severe illness
I think OP is just desperate for someone who will depend on them because that would brings some sense of worth and validation, and the idea of someone who is forced by their neurological makeup to rely on them for even very basic things like the nature of reality is attractive to some people. Also pretty unhealthy.