How much of a point in there is trying to "stay positive"?

>>36107509
just chill out it's not so bad

>>36107509
There's good evidence that putting some efort into trying to stay positive can end up with you tricking your body into actually feeling positive. Try it for a while.

>>36109057

Can you present any of this evidence? What you're saying sounds tiresome and fruitless but I can't shoot you down without seeing if there is anything you have to back that up.

>>36107509
"convincing yourself" ain't gonna do shit mate. You need to take concrete action. Lying to yourself is not productive in any way, nor is sulking in self-pity.

>>36108680
Fuck off normie cock-muncher, why don't you go beta orbit some bitches in the fembot thread

>>36109057
That's called placebo effect, and it has nothing to do with this.

Chill if you really are depressed you will come to the point where you just don't care anymore, the point of no return, I gained over 40kg in the last year but guess what I don't care, if I die a heart attack it only lets me go.

>>36109590
But isint a placebo effect good if it works?

>>36109590

Okay. What's good "concrete action" you can take to get over losing someone? It seems like there's literally nothing I can do except wait for multiple years until it just stops hurting.

Fought the fight until my mid 40's - it didn't really help. Now down in the depths, and unlikely to recover.

>>36109746
The concrete action in your case would be realizing you're an idiot and you didn't "lose" anyone, unless you mean a family member that died.

>>36110046

When you marry someone and stay with them for years, they do become family.

When they decide they don't like you anymore and leave despite you putting in 100% of your efforts to make them happy in every way possible for an extended period of time, then you lose them. And you never get them back.

>>36110088
What can I say, next time (you should've know this from the start, and you did, you just chose to ignore it) don't invest your physical and emotional efforts into someone that's prone to get lost if you can't handle it. Pretty simple.

>>36110224

So just never invest myself into another human being? That doesn't sound very practical man. We need other people to help support us. I certainly do anyways. When someone becomes your best friend and calls you their soul mate for a few years, they become a deeply ingrained part of your life.

I don't understand how I can prevent this from happening in the future without just being a coldhearted emo who never likes anyone. (Not that I'm likely to find a single other female worth liking who actually likes me back for years on end or possibly ever again anyways.)

>>36110256
>coldhearted emo

Pleonasm. You can invest in whatever you want, but realize you're gonna inevitably lose them one way or another. A woman, dude? Get the fuck over it, she certainly has.

>>36110293

I'm drunk and alone. Will you add me on skype?

>>36109746
I disagree with the will yourself out of depression model because it's broken by design. Doing proactive things, "concrete action", requires energy and willpower which depression saps.

Try accepting what you feel instead of running away from it. Keep in mind that it will pass in the future and make your decisions accordingly, so as to not have to rebuild when you get out of your slump.

Happiness is not an acceptable end goal, despite what literally everyone tells you, because happiness is by definition fleeting and can't be sustained over long periods. It's better to strive towards goals rather than happiness.

So if you can, pick some goal. It can be a very far away goal, practically a dream, it can be a vague goal ("see the world"), whatever works. Then use your willpower not to attempt to feel happy, but to keep yourself from making shitty decisions and to make good decisions, so that your life in the worst case stagnates.

Then you wait. Knowledge that you are working towards your goal should serve as your carrot on a stick. Self-growth, even if completely unrelated to your goals, is still productive and still counts as working towards them. Use this period of unavoidable sadness to learn to live with it and even enjoy it or use it, after all you're going to live through it anyway. After the dust settles you might find yourself better, both as a person and in your position in life.

>>36110311
I don't have a skype (I had it years ago but can't remember the account). I get it man, I really do, but it's not worth investing that much in a woman. Lie about it to her if you need companion that much next time, but don't be stupid.

>>36110422

>Lie about it to her if you need companion that much next time

I don't understand what this means.