Psychological Issues #24

Hello, Nick. I would be happy to continue our conversation here so long as the names were omitted.

>>36091069

I've promised you there would be no mentions of the names. I wanted to know out of curiosity only, and as a way to understand more.

I'm reading your e-mails, and responding, but I'm also crafting a response to my own father. It's like writing poetry with anal beads; it's a thing that shouldn't be done.

How are you today?

I'm reasonable thank you. Did a bit of cooking and visited my brother. I also have an interview scheduled for next week. Somewhat stressful to prepare for and a disruption to my routine, but a potential improvement over my current situation.

How are you? Why would you consider communicating with your father at this point? I thought we'd established that he's an irredeemable monster with nothing to offer you.

>>36091163

I wonder about your brother. I'd like to know about him and how he is, compared to you.

>How are you?

Quite suicidal today, for various reasons. I'm on holidays, which highlights the emptiness of my life, and I had to witness the presence of Buffalo Bill for a few hours today. This caused me great harm.

> Why would you consider communicating with your father at this point? I thought we'd established that he's an irredeemable monster with nothing to offer you.

He is. I'm not writing in view of changing him or convincing him. He wrote some monologue addressed to all my brothers and myself, and a sister-in-law, and I thought it'd be good to actually respond and state things clearly for the future. It won't do anything but at least it'll clarify my position in this war.

>>36091210
I doubt he'll listen to you. Feeding a malignant narcissist attention is never helpful. Certainly, he will not heed the content of your missive however accurate or heartfelt it is.

I can related, as regards holidays. It sends me into a spiral to be away from work and routine as well.

He's doing well these days. When he's at his worst he's essentially catatonic, or he starts talking about how we're all demons. That's an angle you could add to the supernatural explanation if you were feeling fanciful.

Anyway, he's engaged to be married, he has won an international writing competition, just finished an album and it in talks establishing his PhD thesis. In all he's doing impressively. Better than I am, really. His day-to-day function is better than mine, but he's spent time in hospital on a few occasions (unlike me) and it's reasonable to assume that sooner or later he will again. He refuses to take anti-psychotics because they hinder more than they help. Being a zombie is no fun.

>>36091331
>I doubt he'll listen to you.

He won't, but he will read.

>Feeding a malignant narcissist attention is never helpful. Certainly, he will not heed the content of your missive however accurate or heartfelt it is.

I'm aware, but it doesn't matter. I doubt he'll feed much off my missive. "Heartfelt" is not where I go with it. I respond to his many "points", which are mostly bullshit and lies. Since I have never stated clearly why I was "on bad terms" with them, letting them know isn't all that bad, but they never cared to ask.

>I can related, as regards holidays. It sends me into a spiral to be away from work and routine as well.

I feel empty and like I'm actively being hollowed out.

>He's doing well these days. When he's at his worst he's essentially catatonic, or he starts talking about how we're all demons. That's an angle you could add to the supernatural explanation if you were feeling fanciful.

I assume he was treated the way you were.

If that's OK, I'd like to know more about how you were both treated. I'd like to understand how such psychological issues are created in people.

>Anyway, he's engaged to be married, he has won an international writing competition, just finished an album and it in talks establishing his PhD thesis.

Impressive.

>>36091432
We were treated differently, though it's difficult to pin down exactly why. As I mentioned before, for whatever reason I was the one our father took out his frustrations on, and as such he was spared that at least. Also, whereas he would enjoy the foolish game our mother would play - throwing margarine all around the place until the kitchen was filthy - I wasn't interested. He was also lower energy. He's more laid back today as well. It's never been difficult to get a rise out of me.

He did have serious problems when he was younger though. He stabbed another child with a pencil, he strangled cats, and so on. There's no doubt he was affected by everything that went on. I feel almost as though he's got himself in order now though, whereas I don't seem to improve. I don't think he has a personality disorder or anything of that nature: just occasional psychosis and a great deal of pain that he's able to explore through his music and writing.

>>36091582
>I don't think he has a personality disorder or anything of that nature: just occasional psychosis

You can't really say that. I understand this stuff "runs in the family" but it's really not that common. If you have any psychosis on any regular basis, you clearly have a mental disorder.

!

>>36091789
A personality disorder and a mental disorder are quite different. I'm saying that his personality and for the most part his behaviour is normal. He's well adjusted and has no problems socially, except that he struggles with certain symptoms. He has few friends, but he's happy in his own company for the most part. A work colleague, a few others, his family and his fiancee are all he wants. Incidentally, we do have a fair bit of mental illness in the family on both sides including schizophrenia, which is his diagnosis.

>>36091848
>A personality disorder and a mental disorder are quite different

Mental disorder includes personality disorders. You're thinking of mood disorders, I suppose, which are also mental disorders.

Would you say that "nurture" can lead to schizophrenia? Or that he got it from his mother via genes?

Actually, here's something else that you could read into. My brother was going over some of his old materials from early schooling. One was a picture he'd done of the family. There were all of us, himself included, in a line. Four small pictures. Then, covering the entire background and enveloping all the others wa a giant, staring face labelled 'DADDY'.

>>36091919
Schizophrenia is very contentious on a number of levels. However, I believe that it's generally believed to have a physiological component that may or may not remain dormant without a drastic, triggering event. He certainly had that. The genes are on our mother's side for that one, yes.

Indeed, but personality disorders are one small aspect of all possible mental illness and I do not believe that he would fit the diagnostic criteria for any of those specifically. Indeed, he's seen many psychiatrists and had never been diagnosed as having one.

>>36091971
>Then, covering the entire background and enveloping all the others wa a giant, staring face labelled 'DADDY'.

Frightening.

>Indeed, he's seen many psychiatrists and had never been diagnosed as having one.

My bad, I thought schizophrenia was a personality disorder, like schizoid and schizotypal.