Times you had to use self defense

>>36057988
Never had to. Probably never will. I fantasize about it, but it'll probably never happen. I live in a smallish town and everyone is white so senseless violence is extremely uncommon here.

>>36057988
>especially not my pussy

kek

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>>36057988
Mfw I thought it was hot at first, but then you mentioned you had a pussy.
Mfw I realize I'm a total fag for male on male rape fantasies.

>>36057988
Few weeks ago my dad started strangling me and I knee'd him in the stomach

I ended up with a black eye tho since I held back because I still live at home

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where is crackers

>>36057988
JESUS FUCKING CRHIST ANON YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HIM WHAT THE FUCK. LOOK MAN, YOU NEED TO EITHER KILL HIM OR PUNCH HIM IN THE CHEST A FEW TIMES, NOT REMOVE A TESTICLE AND RUIN HIS LIFE. THE GUY WAS PROBABLY A VIRGIN YOU INSENSITIVE FUCK.

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>few months ago
>arguing with a guy
>he starts pushing his head against mine
>decide to make a move before he does
>put him in a headlock and swing/throw him onto the floor
>stomp on his head like 20 times
>a few people watching but no one does anything
>eventually stop when I realize whata going on
>was worried for like a month that he'd die and id go to prison

>>36057988
>especially not my pussy(male)

This is a bait thread.

A poor one, too/

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>>36057988
>tfw too ugly and too male to be molested

i will never be wanted

Who here /innatecoward/?
>on few occasions I thought I would have to jump in other people's confrontations
>bladder fills with urine
>get panicky

>>36058310
>implying it wasn't for the best
no balls = no desire for gf

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>>36057988
>never been in a fight
>never even been bullied
>one kid straight up told me because I'm asian people don't mess with me because they think I know kung fu

A little racist but ok

>>36058461
Do you know kung fu?

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>>36058121
Y-you too?
Jesus fuck, why am I turning into an actual faggot? It went from /ss/ to futa and now traps. If this keeps up, I'll eventually fantasize about sucking dick. Just fuck my shit up.

>>36057988
l've never been in a fight, which is surprising cause l'm kind of a giant asshole all of the time

Apparently l'm funny and kinda intimidating tho so maybe thats it

>>36058498
W-well yes but that's beside the point

>>36058532
Karate chop my dick.

>>36058532
kek, that kid was right, most asian people i know (east asian) know some sort of martial art.

>>36058121
>>36058504
Stop visiting /r9k/
Stop visiting any board.
Stop visiting 4chan entirely.

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>>36058121
>>36058504
>mfw coming to 4chan makes people realize repressed parts of their sexuality
when will people just accept that normal human sexuality is nowhere near 100% straight?

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>>36057988
>be in 5th grade
>big fat black kid comes at me and shoves me for no reason
>we're facing like pic related
>keeps shoving
>I flick his manboobs
>kick him in the testes
>he hasn't fallen down
>he's a big guy
>push him with all my might
>he falls down with great force
>his head busts on the cold concrete floor
>surprisingly, no blood
>run like hell

Because I grew up in the "hood" snitching was dishonorable and shun upon. I never saw that fatfuck again.

>>36058609
normal sexuality is straight vanilla

>>36058893
christian repression sexuality is straight vanilla

natural sexuality is usually somewhere between 95-75% straight.
most people can just ignore or don't even notice their small amount of same sex-attraction, but that doesn't mean its not there

>>36058609
I've been on 4chan for years and I haven't gotten gay at all.

All I discovered is I had a wierd fetish for women being hanged/executed while naked. Fapped to it a few times and promptly decided to never fap to it ever again because it wasn't that great and it was far too wierd to rationalize.

>>36057988
Hahaaahahahahahahaaahahahaaaa I bet he killed himself because he won't be able to get a gf or have kids. I hope he had shitty genetics. If he had blue eyes or blonde hair, that'd be your fault for being an idiot op.

>>36059132
pls go back to pol newfag

>>36059073
>I'm a mentally ill faggot, b-but I'm not the only one

Already knew that.

>>36058346

This is almost how I discovered I was gay:

>15yo
>high school
>arguing with a chad of my school
>he starts pushing his head against mine
>gets really mad
>start touch my chest
>put his hand inside my pants
>my mind go blank
>we start to kiss like crazy
>we start take of our clothes
>he gently puts his penis inside my ass
>best sensation ever
>cum with him penetrating me
>best sensation ever
>we start fuck everyday after school
>gay ever since

>>36059261
everyone on /r9k/ is mentally ill, why else would we be here

>>36059631

This is why I love this board and love be original.

I hope I won't ever have to defend myself. That's going to mean expensive compensations and a criminal record at best, and expensive compensations and a criminal record and prison time at worst.

>>36057988
At first I was thinking this was going to be an allegory for stand-your-ground type defense laws being too lax. But then you made it into standard "I'm a girl lol" bait.

Disappointed in you anon

>>36057988
Most likely his own body started to attack the 2nd testicle.
Sperm is recognised by the body as 'foreign' so the testes have a fairly complicated system to stop the immune system attacking them called 'immunological privilege'. If someone happens to one testis that exposes it to certain cells of the immune system (i.e. ruptured by some bitch's kick) then your body produces antibodies against it which can cross the barrier protecting the second testis and kill it. Then we need to come in with a scalpel and cut the dead ball out before it starts rotting.

Same process can apply to eyes and babies.

>I got called a faggot after school by this guy
>killed his whole family and decorated their house with their limbs and intestines
>the guy is now in an insane asylum and everyone thinks he did it

>>36057988
Some junkie tried to car jack me in broad daylight opposite a police station once.
>Stopped at a roundabout
>Cunt runs up to my open window, punches me in the face then starts threatening me with a claw hammer
>I get out, grab the hammer out of his hand and attempt a swing at his head
>Eyes watering from the punch so I miss, but he sprints down the street like a bitch anyway
>Bystanders ask if I'm okay. One recognised him as a local thug, gives me a name.
>Walk across road, report assault to police and mention the name I was given.
>Desk sergeant recognises the name and asks if I can give a description ... it all happened too quickly, I can't ... prints off a mugshort ... ''was this the guy?'' ... it is ... ''do you think you can give a description now?'' ... I nod ... he tears up the mugshot.
>Junkie fuck was on bail. Will be arrested the next day.
>I take the rest of the day off work, apply for Victim's of Crime Compensation and get special consideration for a uni assignment.
>Officer rings me up a few months later in the year. Cunt's serving 3 years.

>>36059587
https://clyp.it/tenyeyao

>>36057988
This was hot until the end.

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>>36057988
>tfw no gf to kick my groins beyond repair

Why live

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>>36061735
cheer up stream bro

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>>36061770
>tfw no qt gf to cuddle while watching streams

Now im even more depressed thx alot famalam

>>36061830
I'm sorry stream bro :(

>>36058310
>not knowing that a cornered human female will go straight to the balls
Women are bad people. Don't worry about it, you'll never get close to one.

>bullied alot in HS because im smol
>bitches dont know bout my ninjitsu training
>guy finally pushes me too far in the locker room one day
>sacrifice throw him into the mirror, carve his face up with glass that fell on the floor, repeatedly pummel his face with punches and elbows. grab him by his head, pull him up, and slam his head into the wall.
>walk away as he bleeds all over the floor
>banned from school

nigger got what was coming to him.

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>>36057988
>be 17 years old
>hanging out with three friends my age, and my 13 year old brother in public park at sundown
>two other teenagers come up and start insulting us for no reason
>tell them to fuck off
>they leave
>they come back a few minutes later with around 8 extra guys
>oshit.png
>start beefing us, trying to start a fight
>pull out pocket knife, concealed in the palm of my hand in case they all try to jump us at once
>the first one to insult us gets real close, screaming obscenities in my face from a foot away
>he tries to sucker punch me but winds up retardedly slowly
>tackle him before he lands his blow
>struggle on the ground for a second, but end up on top
>end up beating his face in with the butt of the pocket knife that was still in my hand
>his friends are all too pussy to do shit
>I get up, tell him and his friends to go home, absolutely bewildered and unsure of what to do
>friend tells me "Just go, I'll handle it." and I start walking off
>other guy gets up, stumbling all over like a retard, obviously concussed
>he shouts "you hit me like ten times and I didn't hit you once! That's not very fair!" with slurred words and stuttering
>sucker punches me in the right side of my forehead
>I just tell him "Wow, that was real cruel" and just keep walking off into the night

Pic related, it's the same type of knife I beat him with, it's a pretty nice knife, too.

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I actually have two where I came close to having to use self defense. I've never had to actually physically hit someone before.

Story number one...

>Be me
>Be 17
>Dude comes up to me when I was walking to Taco Bell after school
>Dude asks if he can use my phone
>"Service is dead" (it wasn't really but I don't want people using my phone)
>Dude starts getting angry and tries to grab me
>Reach for my knife that I always keep on me
>Pulls out knife quickly
>Dude bolted as soon as he saw it

And story number two...

>Be me
>Be 20
>Walking around with a friend at like 1 in the morning because we're both bored as fuck
>Friend has the idea to buy weed
>We go to where the dealer is
>Dealer flips his shit immediately
>"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BRING SOMEONE WITH YOU?!"
>Dealer points gun at me
>I just stand there
>Dealer puts gun away and says "this dude has balls, I'm sorry for flipping out but why didn't you move?"
>"Because if you really intended to shoot me you would have done so the instant you drew your gun."
>I went home immediately after that

>>36060046
I know this is fake but I really really hope this is real tbqh