>have for the past week diarrhea
>have to wipe my asshole so much that it bleeds
>diarrhea contagion seeps into my open butthole wound, reinfecting me with the diarrhea virus
Fellas, it looks like I have perpetual diarrhea. Not sure how long my body can hold out.
It's been an honor shitposting with you lads
>>36045634
>diarrhea
>use the word shitposting
You're funny, OP. !
i don't think that's how it works.
origno
>>36045634
Drink coffee and smoke a cigarette
Also eat a bunch of fiber
Youll shit the evil out in one go
>>36045634
You just have to force it out of your body like a rock stuck in a water hose, just reel your colon back in later.
That's actually a geometric series.
>>36045634
Opioids, my friends
If you are too much of a bitch to get oxy or dope, you can always make poppy seed tea or eat some loperamide.
Get a bidet attachment, if you can afford. Don't have to wipe your ass, and your butthole remains clean.
>have for the past week diarrhea
???