Well i made my tinder profile About 20 minutes ago. I think

are you looking for the love of your life or to smash some roastie sluts?

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>>36023128
>all lives matter, including spiders

>>36023128
>6'1
>Illiterate
>Ooga booga where da white women at

That's how you do it nigger

>>36023128
look up self deprecating pick up lines. Self loathing is a normie thing now, if you can joke about yourself, your in. But nothing too sad or obvious like "nobody will ever love me hahah". Also, don't come to r9k for dating advice.

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>>36023197

Hey, i like spiders. I would like a gf who's into them too

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>>36023128
>all lives matter, including spiders

>>36023269
Don't fucking admit that until at least the fourth date
No girls are "into spiders"

Yeah no pay attention to >>36023252
I never had any luck with self-deprecating pickup lines, but you could not do worse than this site for tinder advice

>>36023308

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQnYmC4-_1c

>>36023308

Fine i got rid of it. Don't even care for tinder anymore because of the way the redhead cashier at the gas station just smiled at me ;-;

I would probably skip the rostie line

>>36023252
self deprecation pretty much screams "I have insecurities that I try to hide under thick layer of irony"

It may work if you are a woman, but as a male it comes of too pathetic

>>36023706
underrated and good post my friend

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>>36023602
I feel you man
I feel you

>>36023252
this is completely right if you find the type of girl who is so obviously into that sort of humour, which is every "alternative" girl

>>36023128
this looks fine to me as a male, the all lives matter things a bit gay but the spider thing saves it but girls wont find it gay

>>36023189
not OP but I would like to meet a girl that isn't as vapid as they come

If I can hold a semi intelligent conversation with her I would be happy

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>found a qt asian INTP, I literally did not know those could exist
>try to view more of her photos
>swipe left by accident

FUCK

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>match with qt grill on OKC a while back
>aight
>match with her again recently on Tinder
>sheeeiiit
>we get chatting
>around the same time I get her number she puts on her profile that she won't be very responsive for the next while
>going for a drink this weekend

Wish me luck brobots

>captcha; Nolan RD
BRAVO NOLAN

>>36024520

Good luck senpai. We all gonna make it.

>go on a coffee tinder date
>goes good
>go on a second date to the movies
>pick her up
>my car's catalytic converter fucking falls off
>literally making the loudest noise possible and the car is shaking violently
>have to drive 40 minutes
>was awkward as fuck since we couldn't talk because the car was so loud
>had to cut the date short because I was afraid my car was going to explode
MY CAR ALWAYS HAS TO RUIN SHIT
>go on a date 2 years ago
>my battery dies
>friends have to come out and jump start it
>entire date is weird as fuck
>don't even get a hug

tfw have the robot curse, no matter what I do to be a normalfag

>>36023308
Listen up autist, that bio is fine. Why would he have to "admit" that he likes spiders as if it's some point of shame? It's not.

Quirky bios like that work fine as long as you are funny about it - which is the whole point

Do you need to smile for tinder pictures?

My smile is disgusting

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>Actually wanting a tinder slut

Why

Can you put up a fake location on tinder?

Or does it automatically find your real location or some shit?

>>36023128
>autist
>outdoor nerd
>petcuck
>autist 2
>manlet
Hahaha.

>>36023308
>iFunny memes
Get out

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>>36024792
You need to connect your facebook profile to it

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>>36023128
>tfw downloading tinder thinking ill get laid
>tfw only match with fatties with danger hair and problem glasses

>>36024846
well what if i make a fake facebook with fake location?

i just want to fuck around

>>36023128
>I'm just a normal functioning member of the human race and there's nothing anyone can say otherwise

do it

>swipe until there's nobody left
>swipe right maybe 50 times
>no matches yet

I've had the app for two days

H-haha this is normal right?

>>36025805
I'm not the most handsome guy but there are days where I have 0 matches and others I get 5 or 6 matches, it just depends. I also seem to get more matches around noon than I would after dinner but maybe that's just coincidence.

>>36025805

Yeah. You see who right swiped you first, and the women have thousands of guys who right swiped them to get through before they see you, and most of them don't use tinder plus and therefore only have the 50 swipes a day. So it takes awhile before the action starts.

My question is about that 'skip the line' thing with tinder plus. If i had tinder plus and used that, would everyone see that purple symbol indicating i used it? If so, seems like a shit idea. Nobody's going to want to swipe a desperate fuck with tinder plus.

>>36023954
>which is every "alternative" girl

Or just some chick with a sense of humor? I dunno, If OP is just trynna get laid then I agree with you but if he wants someone that isn't a smug cunt then they need to be able to laugh at themselves

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Here is my tinder profile, I made it yesterday and already got 3 matches, am I Chad? And I was only liking attractive girls.

>>36025805
Nah not at all. I got around 10 matches my first night using it. I should say I live in a small city and am without doubt a very handsome dude (based on my life experience).

>>36027180
good profile, get rid of the "proud feminist" tho, ladies don't mind the funny stuff unless it involves feminism

>>36027217
>no it's not normal at all bro
>I should say im a chad tho lol

I hope you die of ass cancer faggot

>>36027180

>18

calm down with the autism young lad

>>36027314
I've fucked girls within 30 minutes of meeting them multiple times. I can get laid just by walking the streets on a Saturday night with a cigarette until a girl stops me, and have. Just being honest.

>>36027372
Cool

Go tell your Reddit friends

>>36027372
I once woke up by a girl breaking into my house and giving me a hand job.

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>made a thread about how to finally stop being a bitch and create my tinder account
>like 5 people replied including this OP
>still haven't done it

>>36027350
I have been desiring sex ever since I was 11 years old. This is my last chance at sex.

>>36027524

Sorry anon, that was me and I was wearing a wig.

Op here. No matches het, but wow I CAN'T FIND SHIT! What happened? I used to match and get dates with some real qts. Now there's nothing but degeneracy.

I think i'm going to down a flask full of vodka every day after school and go talk to that redhead at the family express. Fuck tinder.

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>>36027678

Forgot the pic. Nothing but shit like this now. Tinder is dead.

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You got pretty much all the things women like.
>tolerance, being PC
>pretending to have a life
>tall

>>36027560
Had sex, still counts

>>36027703
Which one in the pic?

>girl I went on 3 dates with says she doesn't want to see me again
WE'RE HAVIN VODKA TONIGHT BOYS

>>36027678
>>36027703
I've heard OkCupid is better for finding women of quality?

Can anyone confirm this?

>>36028827
from what I hear this is true, but the amount of women compared to tinder drops by 70%
source: my ass

>>36027372
hmmm

>things that never happened

>>36028827
Got my wife there. She is slim, smart, and plays the vidya games with me.

Okcupid ftw, also I got like 1-3 new decent pussies a week off there before I settled down so there is also that.

>>36029887
what age were you when you signed up?
I'm relatively young (22) and always thought most of the women on there were in their late 20s-early 30s

>>36029930
I was 32, she is 29.

>>36030066
Gonna add on here, when I mobed from 29 to 30, like WAY more chicks started messaging me. Not just older ones either, flocks of 18-22 year olds.... loved it.

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>her profile simply said "your memes are probnably subpar"
I don't even know what memes normalfags know, I assume their facebook-tier stuff right? Is that kermit meme old for normalfags?

>>36030066
>>36030144
good to know.
if I'm desperate enough I might try out OKC, still currently seeing if Tinder can do anything for me

No matches yet. REEEEEEEEE

>>36030586
it's been 1/4 of a day dude
relax and give it time I didn't get a match until 2 days after I signed up

if you really want you can swipe right for everyone and just practice talking to all the ham beasts you match with just to get your feet wet

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>>36030220
say
"wait up i have to check on my isopod, hes been acting up lately"
image.jpg
"fuck."

I see no way this can go wrong. The meme is not "quality" but without any text in the image you will seem humorous, even if she isnt cracking up. Also, she may make a comment back about it, something for her to latch on to.

Hope this helps, bottom line is an out of context picture with a (((clever))) caption never hurts.
If she is ultra norme try something a little less out of context.

>>36030220
I bet neither of you have taken the bogpill

wew

>>36030661

I've been checking every profile to make sure they aren't bots or secretly fat, but maybe i'll do that tomorrow.

>>36030682
she is way too attractive to not be an ultra norm

>>36030684
become educated https://youtu.be/vHmHN64pJ5Q

>people CONTINUOUSLY lying to my face
>telling me that height doesn't matter
>literally all tall men put their height in the bio, as if it's one of their defining factors

>pro tip
>it is

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>>36031016

Saw an uglier girl earlier have "i don't give a rat's ass about your height"

>>36027180
Beta numale detected you should start lifting and drinking a gallon of milk a day also drop the feminism shit.

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>>36030661
It's been two days already for me and I haven't got shit.

For the first time in my life I've had a burst of confidence and it's already quickly fading.

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First match lads! Her pics are shit though and i can't see what her body looks like. Probably chunky. What should i say?

>>36031548
Ask her about her favorite lift and if it isn't squat immediately unmatch
t. /fit/

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>>36031548

And another! Though this one seems like a bot.

>>36024868
yeah you can do that i think

i think it uses gps to find your actual location though - i used it in dubai and then london and found local girls in both places so I would assume it did..

>>36031517
my nigga you sound exactly like me when I first started, confidence and all.
matches will get more regular the more you use it. Think about it it has only been two days, there are hundreds and hundreds of girls who haven't even opened the app the last few days, and there are thousands of girls who have used all their 50 swipes and are just waiting until they refresh.
keep that confidence up as long as you can brother, you WILL get matches.

>>36031548
100% chunky, you can tell by the face

>>36031605
if her photos are all professional looking or they all look like they were taking within a few hours of each other than it is always a bot.
if you are unsure you can message with "you are way too attractive to not be a bot so just give me your sales pitch already" it's worked for me

>6'2 and I
>I wanna dance
>I wanna dance
>I wanna dance with you

it's from a shitty normalscum song. literally all i got on my profile. stupid as shit but it works. also i think because ive posted my face in rate me threads before and always get 'reee chad get out' replies

>>36031568

She just said "squats".

Now what?

>>36031667
ask her about oats

(don't really)

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>>36031682

Oh wait nvm there's more to it

>>36031643

Oh shit she's real, her facebook checks out. But too late, i said what you said.

>>36031701

Okay i just dropped sushi brah's line only i changed it to tacos

Got a Tinder date this Monday with a girl. Quite fat but she says she likes memes and had a Pepe or two in her pictures.

Problem is she speaks too frequent. I can't put my phone down without getting her next message instantly and I want to be able to do some other stuff. I run out of conversation fast if I talk too often.

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Keep foolin' yourself whiteboi

>6'1''
Honesty is the best policy, OP

>>36031778
what did she say
post of extreme origin

what do you do if you see a profile of someone you know irl?

my tinder bio is "just looking for a fuck"
I honesty have gotten no matches

>>36032236
If they're pretty, I swipe right. I can always play it off as a joke, I've done it a few times.

If they're ugly I swipe left.

>>36032281
I thought you're supposed to swipe right on everyone without looking

>>36032370
I mean...isn't that what everyone does?

>>36032111

She said

>Hahaha oh yeah?

>>36032370
>>36032407
You don't. That actually decreases your chances of a match.

Swiping right on everyone makes you look like a bot, and makes it less likely for people to see you.

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Op here. Matches are gradually coming in.

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Matched yesterday. Talked dogs, cats and then ducks. What do I do now?

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>>36032471

She messaged me first lads. AND she commented on my spiders!

>i just don't like the jumping ones..

Bitch those are the cutest spiders on earth

>>36032507
>Speaking of cats, do you want to show me your pussy?

I want to try Tinder for the validation but I can't because I don't want my gf or anyone close finding out

>>36032507
>>36032643
>then we can duck all night until you howl and bark at my full moon

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>>36032643
>>36032807
>>36032507

Contextually that homonym joke wouldn't make sense. Also she's a real qt so I'd rather not fuck this up

>>36032904
You're already fucking up by not making a move

Quit with the small talk and make something happen faggot

>>36032507
best way to segway this is to ask if she likes fish, then take her out for sushi

>>36032930
Did you forget what board you're on?

Never made a move on anyone because I'm not a fucking normie

>>36032507
>Sorry, I meant to say dicks*.

>>36033006
be this one robot who fucks slootz

>>36033006
come on son you and I both know this place is full of normalfags now and everyone has moved on to either A the after life or B wiz

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>>36033037
>>36033158
Here we go boys


Oregano

>>36033265
wow you sounded like a fag saying that
>shall we
>on say, Sunday?
I would be surprised if she said yes

>>36023128
I think it's alright tbqh. It's short, kinda funny and seems intriguing enough (idk on that last part tho since I'm not a girl).The "lover of all animals" is a little awkward, kinda makes you sound like you're trying to be Jesus or something. so maybe change it to some variation of "animal lover"? If you're semi-attractive and can carry on a funny, light-hearted conversation, you should be ok.

>>36031468
Im guessing his bio is ironic

>>36033265
sounding pretty fedora-tier in that last message

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>>36033359
>>36033463
Not a no and not a yes

>>36033617
say 'alright, lmk'

And fucking move on. Forget about her completely, unless of course she gets back to you.

>>36033265
You pussified beta bitch cuck, I (a real man) would have said "we will continue this while im balls deep in dem guts xoxoxo" actually dont put kisses because only gay faggots who get cucked hardcore kiss girls

t. chadwick stormpenis, prince of the chads

>>36033265
wow you are fucking retarded
>what's your stance on eating chicken?
>i like
>cool then we'll both eat chicken together on Sunday for lunch
it's not even hard just think for 3 seconds before you post something moron

>>36033617
this is 80% a "no"
give her a different day of the week, if she says anything other than "yes" then move on and forget

>>36033265
you're being forward, but it's cringy as hell

i know you maybe think it's ironic but it's still cringy regardless

>>36033617
no, it's most definitely a no unless it's a yes.

>>36033878

yeah, it's pretty easy to tell if a girl actually wants to go or not

>>36034041
not true

sometimes they say and then randomly unmatch you

>>36034130

how is that not easy to tell?

Op here. I think i fucked up with spider-girl. I'm not good at multitasking so i got a bit stale

>>36034152
because they act keen, say yes and then unmatch yes

how would it be easy to tell?

Guys if i make a tinder profile will my facebook friends know i have one and be able to see me on there? And i don't mean in their matches - I have seen them use this group thing where they make a group and can match with other groups - so they must be able to find each other in some way to group up?

>>36034354
you can hide yourself from that feature so they won't know you are on there

it's called "swipe with friends", just turn it off

t. experienced tinder user

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Now what robots? I guess she's not a bot

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>>36035035

Shit. She's got me cornered

Do you guys choose to link your spotify accounts with your tinder or not?

>>36035389
"I'm still not convinced, you need to give me your number/go out with me to prove you're real"

Don't write that word for word with the slash in it, pick one of them. Also wording could be better, but only way to go from there is setting up the date.

>>36024691
get a good car idiot

>>36023189
>love of your life
>tinder
yea nah cunt

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>>36028827
OKC is good to a) use the questions to learn more about yourself and to have a shrine to come back to where you have affirmations about yourself that reinforce your belief structures about yourself to strengthen your aspirational frame, and b) to target whatever you want.

method a) of self-discovery is to answer all the questions. High matches here are not indicative of quality for you; they may be too alike you in some cases.

b) only answer questions about what you want-- targeted questions about drugs and sex, for example. Then reach out and message 50-70 women with 1 of 5 different messages you write (10 each or so). Keep it short, keep it classy, and be funny if you can.

Use the "Like" button ONLY as a record of if you've messaged someone-- you'll be deleting a lot of messages to clear up space so you don't want to be messaging people twice. For this reason never play quickmatch and swipe right-- if you use it, use it on desktop and message any girl you like directly and click the star to show yourself you messaged her already.

Keeps it simple.

You can only do this for so long before you become known, so keep it to short-ish bursts.

Women network, so you can't approach EVERYONE (recall the greentext story of the amateur PUA who pariah'd himself).

Know how to read body language and read reactions. You can be ugly and still get away with a lot if you know this. I am not ugly, I insist I am a Chad, but it is true.

>>36023128
I think that's a great bio my dude. I got laid off tinder last weekend but she was pretty ugly and leaving on a plane literally hours after we hooked up at 2 am. After the hook up I asked If I could see her tinder and check how many matches she had and how long she was using it for.
Apparently, in her words she had it for no more than a week and got over 50+ matches, never hitting the like limit once, and she wasn't just kinda ugly or a butterface, she was bottom of the barrel overweight ugly. It just goes to show that the odds of YOU being the guy for any one girl on tinder is so low that it's worth swiping right on people out of your league because the odds of you getting with anyone is already small as fuck.

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>>36036595
wow anon, you plowed that hambeast right into the next state hahahaha gr8 work m8. you are like the little autistic sperm that made it past all the barriers and other sperm to the lonely little butt ugly egg

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>>36035843

Now i'm just waiting for her number. I'm either not getting it or she went to bed, because it's late here.

>>36036728
holy shit man, that convo makes you seem like a next level chad. Good work

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What with girls having multiple people in every photo....And they are always the ugly one

>Inbox 4 cheerleader effect