/depression/

>>36020461
well...that's fucking swell, isn't it? with all the fuss that you lot make about being lonely losers and whatnot i thought that at least some of you would have suicidal thoughts, but surprise, surprise...
seems like i'll have to talk to myself then

>>36020461
hey!
how's it going?
what seems to be the problem bud?

>>36020727
hi! how are you?
not sure how i feel atm, can't really put it into words, but thanks for asking nonetheless.

depression convinces you about things which are not entirely true, emphasis on the word "entirely". keep that in mind. i would know, i suffer from it. but there is a way to make things more bearable. do not hesitate to get help or to try any means available yourself. i am rooting for you, because i know how it feels.

>>36020671
That's all everyone ever talks about here. There is no point in making a thread for /depression/, when the whole board is saturated with people talking about their shitty life and how they're too cowardly to kill themselves.

Most people here probably want to die or wanted to die at some point in their lives.

File: AfUov0KO.jpg (24KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 400x400px

>>36020671
Your thread is edgy and whiny. If you want to have a serious suicidal thoughts thread, then put your depression in perspective for the OP instead of posting emo high school bullshit

I don't even try to be happy anymore. Anything I feel that isn't despair doesn't seem genuine. Every time I feel happy, I remind myself that it's an illusion and that reality is depression.

>>36021826
It's not that I don't want to, believe me when I say that I'd like to share my problems but I'm not sure where to start and to be frank, I don't really see the point in doing so.
Why then did you create this thread you might ask, to which I'd reply with "I don't know". This thread is as pointless as my life is. I just want to have a conversation, can you blame me?

>>36020671
>>36020727
>>36020768
>>36022338
Fyi, these are all my replies.
>>36021328
Thanks for the support, but unfortunately some of us are way beyond the stages of finding help.
>>36021381
Pointless... Gotcha
>>36021903
I can very much relate to what you've just wrote. I too mistake this life for a dream. Only yesterday was I in London with silky dark hair, just a few semesters away from completing my Bachelors. Arrogant, ambitious, optimistic are all adjectives that could've described me but now I'm nothing more than a shell of my previous self with balding hair, stretch marks, failing grades (Econ BA; 2nd semester), antisocial behavior and countless problems living back with my parents in Ethiopia. I sleep all day long before reality just isn't better than the nightmares I have. And, everytime a girl takes interest in me, I have a hard time believing it because I think of myself as being such a failure in life.

I'm very depressed op. I have been for as long as I can remember, even as a child. I seem to cycle between periods of terrible despair and periods of apathy. Right now I am in a period of serious despair; I usually lose all motivation, get fat, and become physically and mentally exhausted. When the apathy comes on, I am able to lose weight and get things done, but I don't really have a reason or motivation; I just kind of do things on autopilot. I've gone from 130 pounds to 145 pounds in a month; hopefully this state doesn't last too long so I can lose the weight once again. This cycle has gone on for years. Overall i have no chance and no hope at all, but I am afraid to die and I still hate having a gross body.

>that one guy that goes on these threads to tell everyone things will get better

>>36020671
I have learned that it's best not to let my mental illness spread at this point. What do you want? Maybe I have some decent coping mechanisms. My survival instinct dictates I think I have something keeping me together, but that's just ego.

Here's a stupid metaphor. Maybe I see one or two people here drowning every once in a while. I try to throw you a line and give you my spiel, "Hello! My boat is full of holes and mildew, there are weevils in the bread, I drink my own pee to retain water, we are headed for hell, and if you try to change my direction I will throw you overboard. Welcome aboard, first mate!"

>>36020461
I still have 2 people that I actually care about. Can do it as long as they're alive.

>>36023875
Understandable. Why not share your problems with them if the affections you currently have for them are mutual and try to find a solution?
>>36023729
uwotm8.jpeg
I'm having trouble understanding what you wrote, maybe it's just me but if you could elaborate of spell it out, i might understand you better.
>>36023216
Same here, except that I'm more apathetic towards dying rather than afraid of it. The autopilot you mentioned really does hit home, I too am essentially zombie like during my daily activities.

I've been depressed since my teenage years (mid-late 20s now) and it has been getting progressively worse. I used to be in a really, really bad place economically and socially and thought those were the main reasons behind it. I started treatment, forced myself to work for a better future and started improving my situation.

It did fuck all. I've cut away all my friends and family and turn down all opportunities to reconnect or make new relations. I know it's wrong, and I have a guilty conscience because of it, but I don't want to spend time with them. They're decent people, but I absolutley abhor having to force myself to go over to someone and hang out. I've turned down invites to parties just to sit at home and drink alone, opted out of every family gathering and holiday celebration. What bothers me isn't "missing out", because I DO have a better time by myself, but because everybody becomes so fucking irritable when you say no over and over. I'm afraid that this "phase" will pass one day and by then no one will be left in my life.

I don't feel any particular love or affection towards anyone, only obligations that I keep breaking which in turn bogs down on my conscience. I can't have relationships because I hate intimacy and I can't handle that level of dependence and emotional investment. I don't feel like I have anything keeping me from killing myself, but I don't have any particular reason to do it either. I am low as hell and generally feel weird and distant, but I can't say for sure death is going to be better. I'm not exactly in agony or anything or experience traumatizing episodes like those with real mental issues.

Though I'm working towards a new profession, my current work is almost too much. I am so socially detached and emotionally distant from everyone and I have never said a non-job related word to my colleagues despite having been there for years. Just saying "hi" and "goodbye" is exhausting. The hardest part of my job is lunchtime.