help

embrace the emptiness OP, none of this matters. I'm in the same place as you and going full blown nihilist has made me feel much better and more relaxed about things in general.

go see professional help. we cant help you here.

>>35992571
>I'm spending more time alone
you're just a failed normalfag, fuck off.

>>35992747
being a failed normie would imply I was a successful normie at some point

File: HATENSON.jpg (31KB, 509x625px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 509x625px

If you can feel your mental health deteriorating anon, this isn't the days of encyclopedia brittanica out in the garage to dust off.
you're on the internet, so I trust you've searched your symptoms.
I know hurr durr some people might say don't trust webMD and all those sites and I know that shit.
I'm talking about the warning signs/symptoms that psychiatrists use as a battery to make an evaluation on what they THINK you are ailed with. There is not chemical test for depression, general anxiety disorder, bipolar, borderline, schizotypal/schizophrenic, somatoform, and a whole slurry of DSM's worth of mind viruses that are diagnosed by one thing in science that can't be empirically measured.
Rather, the "blood" drawn from you in a sense in this medical procedure would be the words that come out of your mouth while they ask you the "questions". answer carefully anon.
take it from somebody who had these exact same feelings and symptoms in the past.
saying "I don't want depression, I don't want a mental illness" breaks my fucking heart and I don't even know you.
because it is the same exact shit to me as a cancer patient rocking back and forth saying "i don't want this cancer, I don't want a disease that could kill me."
if you could blast away depression with radioactive rays, I'd sign myself up.
All the pills they've prescribed me have for the most part not worked (majority), or helped to the point of habituation (thanks benzos...i fucking hate you benzos.)
how do you stop this?
hard to say. If you decide to speak to a mental health professional and don't want to be locked away for 3 days MIN. do not say a WORD about wanting to kill yourself. Same goes for family and friends (google baker act)
i sincerely hope you find the path to feeling better anon. mental illness is shit, but being able to recognize it in yourself and wanting to change it is a huge advantage for what it's worth.
most people walk around like fucking psychopaths and think they are normal.

>>35992817
Thanks for the advice anon.
I don't think I want to see a doctor just yet but there's a few helplines I've been checking out, might give one a call.
>If you decide to speak to a mental health professional and don't want to be locked away for 3 days MIN. do not say a WORD about wanting to kill yourself
I'm not suicidal
I have searched some symptoms of course and I seem to match up pretty well with avpd but I don't trust the internet for a proper diagnosis (and I don't even know if avpd is a proper illness or not).
appreciate your post man good luck with your cancer