1. Share any problem you may have.
2. Ask any questions you may have.
3. For extended conversations, use a name right away; don't just tell me to call you Billy Boy, actually put a name in the name field, and do this right away; brownie points if you pick a name that relates to your issues.
4. Before you post, make sure I'm still around. To verify this, scroll down and look for an image that says, "Good-Bye, I will always love you," if that image is posted, that means I'm gone and will not be able to respond.
5. At some point I will most likely ask you about your parents and your childhood; you can save some time but adding a bit about that in your post.
6. Below are links worthy of your attention.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201602/10-signs-narcissistic-parent
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/personality-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.htm
http://www.blueknot.org.au/Resources/General-Information/Types-of-child-abuse
7. Let it go.
>>35906378
I have a theoretical physics exam tomorrow morning and I dont know shit
soo I fell shit
>>35906439
Ask yourself why you didn't prepare earlier. Report back when you know.
Don't worry about tomorrow. It's been too late for a while now, just do better next session.
>>35906378
I have an annotated bibliography assignment due soonish but the sources I have to read through are soo excruciatingly boring that just reading one paragraph makes me want to kill myself.
>>35906621
Put some music on.
>>35906494
well I smoked weed for the most part of the las semester and only got off it like 3 week ago
I talked to my mother and she told me I should try to take at least some exam so I wont have wasted half a year of my life
I agreed and started studying I went pretty well for the first week but then came a point where I didnt realy knew how to progress so I got sloppy and distracted also I started too fell like i cant do it and that also made me not want to study anymore even thou I think it would have been possible (was just self fulfilling)
>>35906658
Is there still time to do any useful work?
>>35906658
not native English speaker pls. forgive me
>>35906727
It's all right. I'm an English teacher, also not a native speaker. Don't worry, as long as I understand, you're all right.
>>35906658
Do you have trouble focusing? If so try reading books, it can help train your ability to focus, which is pretty much the most important thing for school.
>>35906726
well I still have the book in front of me and maybe if im really lucky I can make it
>>35906785
How many pages left to read?
>>35906803
well do you do these threads daily maybe I should focus and come back tomorrow?
its not just about reading in this field I also have to look at applied problems.
so I am not sure how much there is to do (wich is also a problem of mine I didnt plan well)
Keep up the good work, Nick.
>>35886589
>got number of a psychiatrist who talks about DBT on web 2.0 advertisite and seems to be reputable enough on google page 1
>called three times, froze and didn't say anything until receptionist hung up on me each time
>posting in here again
>>35906909
Try getting an idea of how much work there is left. Do this now, do this as quickly as you can. Just a general idea of how much work we're talking about.
>>35906954
Thank you, Wiz. What's up with you?
>>35906961
There is good left in you, yes. There is another side. Things can improve. Don't lose hope.
>>35907027
Thank you. I haven't lost hope, even though I probably should have. I also don't know what I'm hoping for.
This is roughly how I envision a visit going:
>"Tell me the primary reason you're here."
>sweats and mumbles something noncommittal
>"Well, what do you want to achieve in these sessions?"
>something about how it would be nice to function even a little
>"Just put yourself out there and bee yourself, times up that will be 300 dollars here's a worksheet and also you should take pills, see you in two weeks when I'll ask why you didn't just bee someone better than yourself."
>>35907139
If this happens, you leave and never come back. And find someone else.
They should first ask how you are, then they'll probably wait to see what you have to say.
If you feel bad after an hour with them, find another person. I mean it.
>>35907220
I'm 0/3 lifetime (not counting the pill doctors of my early childhood who I can't recall well.) I think I must doing it wrong.
Every time I've felt overwhelmed because I didn't know how to do therapy right and it just ends in staring contests and slightly upped drug dosage until I stop going.
I'm the mentally ill retard why is it that I have to explain to these people that I'm messed up? It feels like it should be so obvious to them from the facts I tell them about my life and the fact I come in without ever improving but I just always get the impression I'm failing at getting better because I don't want it enough or some shit.
Eventually you get tired of failing at everything.
Thanks for doing this. I don't know why you started or how long you intend to do it but just venting feels nice.
>>35907012
Nothing new. Still wanna live in the loony bin, but at the same time everything about it scares me so badly I don't dare to seek it out.
Had a good day today. Managed to get some university group work done. Had a wonderful group of people to work with I give them all the credit for things going so smoothly. Gonna have the whole day off tomorrow because we managed to get so much done today.
>>35907315
>Thanks for doing this. I don't know why you started or how long you intend to do it but just venting feels nice.
This is how a therapist should make you feel. You should feel BETTER once you leave their office, if nothing else. Look for that feeling.
I started doing it because helping others is the only thing that makes the pain go away for a while. Perhaps an unusual sort of thing, but at least everyone gets happy from it.
I don't intend to stop any time soon, and as things are now, it will most likely be my occupation for many, many evenings to come. I literally have nothing else to live for.
>>35907449
Good stuff!
orngringingirr
>>35907450
I'm sorry to hear that.
Good for you finding something that feels worthwhile, for whatever reason. I hope I find one, and that you find more.
I think I'm going to try that doctor again later but I still am not holding out much hope.
>>35907650
Hope is not necessary for now. Just keep getting in touch with professionals until it feels good. Once that happens, think about hope.
me from the other thread
just wanted to clarify that my memory in general is garbage, not just in relation to my childhoodalso plz post pics of mothery love i need it
Good evening, Nick. How did your reading on DID go? Do you have anything to share?
>>35907945
I was thinking about motherly love earlier today. How do you think a child who never experienced an ounce of love develops on average?
>>35907945
Let's make picture requests and post some stuff.
I want Pepe's.
>>35907968
What's "DID"?
>>35907968
I read about it for an hour, at work. It does sound a lot like you. It was very interesting. Some argue that it's an effect of BPD, to the extreme. They seem confused as to where to put it and such.
I find it quite fascinating.
What do you think of those people who post videos on YouTube where they show their various "personalities"? It sounds like BS to me, but I want your opinion.
>>35908018
beats me, I assume either very cold hearted or very clingy
>>35908018
>How do you think a child who never experienced an ounce of love develops on average?
Easy:
- you literally don't have the security of knowing unconditional love, you're condemned to seek it because you never had it
- your love relationships will be fucking painful and you'll worry to death about being left, and when that happens, you'll die inside and literally think you'll physically die soon after
- lots of other nasty things
But there's hope.
>>35908049
Dissociative Identity Disorder.
oringringringri
>>35907003
>>35907003
okay I have to read another 30 pages and after that I can start looking at problems (I can allready do some but I should have read about most of what i cant do yet after that) to see how far it gets me, maybe it'll be enough maybe not
>>35908095
Not sure if that applies to everyone who goes through a loveless childhood, but you at least got me correct. Nicely done.
>>35908131
I've always thought it was quite the curious condition. Almost like multiple people are sharing the same body. It feels like a sci-fi disorder to me. Do you know anything about what tends to cause it?
>>35908176
>okay I have to read another 30 pages
Do this, that's feasible. Go!
>>35908072
To be honest, I've never checked them out. Some may be legitimate, but I imagine that the whole thing would be distasteful. It's not unreasonable to imagine that some 'alters' could be more performance-oriented in that way. However if it was one person switching between them like a drama exercise, I'd have to question the credibility.
I've heard it described as an extreme of BPD before, and I think it's more like one extreme form BPD could take - or something like it - rather than 'super BPD'.
>>35908191
>Not sure if that applies to everyone who goes through a loveless childhood,
It tends to, depending on how you react. Weaken minds tend to become just like their parents.
>I've always thought it was quite the curious condition. Almost like multiple people are sharing the same body. It feels like a sci-fi disorder to me. Do you know anything about what tends to cause it?
It's not like in the movies. It's not literally a different person; the way I understand, it's like a "thinking mode" that gets separated from the main self, and the main self is always there somehow. There are episodes where the person doesn't remember things.
But hey, Facet here is a true sufferer of it. You can go back to previous threads and read about it. It's fascinating, and it happens to people who have been severely messed the fuck up.
>>35908273
Lots of curious cases here on /r9k/. I don't have the energy to read up on it though. I'll be going to bed soon, probably.
>>35908131
>oringringringri
Why do you type that? Is there a joke involved somewhere? Legit curious friend, I value what you're doing here. Nick, my "inner-state" is in a constant state of flux and I'm either extremely hopeful and grateful to be alive or suicidal and remorseful of everything I have ever said and done or have not done. Sometimes, it feels as if my soul was trapped in a jar and was thrown off a cliff.
This is all my own doing, however. NEET limbo once more. Turned 28 a few months ago. Why am I so selfish, Nick? I get out of a hole and bury myself a new one on impulse.
>>35908459
>Why do you type that? Is there a joke involved somewhere?
I always feared someone would think this. No, it's because this silly board doesn't allow exact posts, so once in a while, you can't post something because it's not "original", so I type some random shit to make it original. It's absolutely ridiculous.
That's why I type nonsense, just so I can post a simple sentence.
>>35908459
What's the average length of that cycle?
>>35906378
I hate everyone in my town, but at the same time, I can't seem to suck it up and move out, even though materially I'm easily capable of doing so. I have no idea why that would be the case, yet every time I think of moving, I just can't seem to make myself do it.
>>35908535
This is all my own doing. I was prescribed SSRI's that I have been taking irregularly, as well as binge drinking. I have not drank today, and I took my medications however so perhaps tomorrow will be different. Even while taking everything as prescribed and being sober for a year I was still just as miserable. I feel like it's "too late". You know?
>>35908578
Maybe those things aren't related. Maybe you do hate everyone in town, but are scared to move out for other reasons.
What scares you?
>>35908634
It's not too late, but meds won't help.
Describe the symptoms you took meds for.
>>35908648
I don't feel scared. But I suppose if I have a fear about moving somewhere under the surface, it's that it will be the same story all over again. I contracted Hansen's Disease years ago, and ever since then, I've been an outcast, even though I'm cured by WHO standards. But you can't get rid of the social stigma that easily, and it's ridiculous to the degree I'm shunned, unless I go to the local baptist church, where it's even weirder and everyone wants to touch my non-existant sores.
So yeah, bitter. On the other hand, rationally, I don't' think it's possible for someone to know without doing a rather thorough background check, unless they got word of mouth confirmation from someone back home. So at least consciously, I don't think it's that.
>>35908668
Depression and anxiety. I think I have a warped way of thinking that has been hard-coded into my brain, so to speak. I've been medicated for it since I was a kid, all different kinds of medications really. Extremely self-defeating and insecure, unable to trust my thoughts and motivations behind them like a proper adult. Sorry if I seem real vague or unspecific. Sometimes I will think of situations I have been in or how worthless I feel, and will say aloud "I am dead, I killed myself" and feel a brief wave of tranquility.
>>35908810
It could be that. Do you have a job?
>>35908851
>Depression and anxiety.
If that's all the experts found, they didn't look far enough. It's like someone stabbed you multiple times, and doctors can only say you're "bleeding".
>Sorry if I seem real vague or unspecific
It's very clear to me. I recognise all these things.
Read the links provided in the OP; report back.
Also read about complex PTSD.
>>35908869
Yes, I'm employed. I work from home, an "accommodation" made supposedly under the ADA, but I do work.
I've lost my job, and don't really see the point in trying anymore. Getting another job wouldn't change anything. I'd like to believe there's some hope for the future, but I don't think that's true. My current plan is to exhaust my savings and then kill myself, because I can't think of anything better to do.
>>35908937
>an "accommodation" made supposedly under the ADA
Fill me on this, because I have no idea what that is.
So, you could move out and have the same job, right?
>>35908958
The way you feel now is not normal, convince yourself of that, because it's true. You're more depressed than you realise. You need help.
Is there a way you can seek therapy? Feeling suicidal is way enough to justify seeing someone.
>>35908995
>Fill me on this, because I have no idea what that is.
Hansen's disease attacks the nerve tissue, I have a loss of sensation around the face, fingers, and my feet. It's not too much of a nuisance, but it does make me disabled under the Americans With Disabilities Act. An emplyoer must offer "reasonable accomodations" to me or risk a lawsuit.
I don't actually really need anything too special, about the only thing that it would affect me in an office job is that I have a tendency to frequently check my hands because II quite literally cannot notice injuries otherwise. However, my company seized upon it to graciously allow me to telecommute all the time, primarily as a way of keeping me out of the office. (And my manager has made it very clear that I am not to reject this gracious accomodation, or I will be fired).
>So, you could move out and have the same job, right?
I mean, I'd have to hunt around a bit; I work as an editor for a publishing firm, and that's not something that you can find in every city, but yeah, I could find a similar job elsewhere.
>>35909129
>I mean, I'd have to hunt around a bit; I work as an editor for a publishing firm, and that's not something that you can find in every city, but yeah, I could find a similar job elsewhere
I'm interested in knowing more about your job! I'd love to know what a normal day of work is for an editor.
>>35909213
>I'm interested in knowing more about your job! I'd love to know what a normal day of work is for an editor.
It's really boring. Most of it is looking over textbooks for public schools, since they seem to need to be revised every couple of years and different school districts use different ones despite all the attempts at state-wide standardization. However, we're not allowed to edit for content; so if, for instance, a chemistry textbook claims that water is composed of two atoms of hydrogen and one atom of carbon, I, or one of my associates, are not supposed to fix that. We are, however, supposed to fix spelling, typographical, and grammatical errors.
More rarely, we get periodicals, where we have more leeway to edit for things like tone and content, and very rarely, a team of us get assigned to actual novels or some other privately published work. Those are the trickiest, because authors tend to have large egos (even small-time ones.), and don't want to hear your input, either on the mechanics, or on a "I really don't think this is an effective idea or presentation of an effective idea".
Essentially, I spend most of the day reading long documents and wondering why these idiots don't use spell checker. But it pays pretty decently, and I do get to scope out new authors while they're still unknown, so I do like it.
>>35909033
I'm aware that it's not normal. I could take some of my money and go to therapy, but looking at classified listings for therapists in my area fills me with an extreme sense of revulsion. Thinking back on my life, I don't know if self preservation is worthwhile. I'm a thoroughly mediocre human being.
>>35909353
Nice!
I think that's a job I could do. I did something similar for a very short time, when Buffalo Bill had hired me.
Writing was always my secret project. It's taken a major backseat lately, but who knows, maybe when I get better I can work on it.
Did you study for this? At university, or is there a course?
I've been out of sorts all week now, and still no clearer on what happened. I haven't heard from the friend who bailed since then, and I haven't contacted him either. I've been more or less in or around the house since then. This is a poor situation to be in. I'm not sure what's to be done. I am also concerned about work when it comes up next (I essentially work on call/ do piecework). I don't feel up to it at all, but will need to be good to go. I have a guaranteed shift on Saturday which I've come close to cancelling but so far have not.
I also expect that I'll drink on Saturday and it will end poorly because I have to deal with a function that evening with someone whom I barely tolerate.
Sorry to offload, but I suppose I could use some advice.
>>35909385
>I'm a thoroughly mediocre human being.
Far too harsh. You sound like a cool guy to me. You're dealing with more than you realise, and none of it is your fault, trust me.
Try a therapist, one that has reactions to what you say.
>>35909429
I advise you not to drink. Do things you like, but plan carefully with what you can do. Call in sick if you can't, cancel whatever outing you don't want to go to.
What's your job?
>>35909405
>Did you study for this? At university, or is there a course?
At the very least, there wasn't at my university. I got into it because I did a lit degree and didn't want to work at starbucks. But yeah, as long as you have a good grasp of mechanical writing, which is sadly distinct from good writing from a literary perspetive, you probably could do it. Still, though, I would think that if you can do therapy, you'd probably make more and have better hours doing that.
I hate to steer this back towards me, but do you have any advice for psyching myself up to leave this town? Because I really do kind of want to, but at the same time can't seem to motivate myself to do so. And any advice as to getting back into the dating scene would also be appreciated. I've had a 0% with the local girls, which usually gets to "You're that leper, aren't you?" within the hour, sometimes with threats of entering a restraining order against me.
>>35909524
Imagine all the positive new things you could have. A fresh start, and nothing to lose since you'll keep your job!
Motivate yourself by looking up new places to live in online.
Imagine a life where nobody knows of your illness.
How did you catch that, by the way?
>>35909522
I don't think it would be reasonable to cancel the engagement. I would rather not say what I do, though I think you may have guessed well before.
>>35909609
>How did you catch that, by the way?
It's not completely certain, because you can have an enormously long period of time between initial infection and symptoms showing up. But the doctors I went to at the time thought it was likely contracted during some animal rescue I did in college, I picked up some very obviously diseased animals with my hands, and I guess the plastic gloves weren't enough protection.
>>35909835
You said it was something that'd horrify me, but there are plenty of jobs where that would be the case.
I thought it had to do with helping people. I really don't know, you're safe in your privacy.
>>35909922
You're right, it does involve helping people. Part of that certainly involves a certain public face. That takes effort to maintain on a good day. It's not all bad and I do enjoy it at times, but as I'm not a big fan of people and unfortunately they're everywhere, seeing them is seldom something I look forward to.
>>35910002
I may start group therapy soon; would you mind describing how it goes?
>>35910029
Sure, no problem. There's likely to be a lot of variation but our sessions go as follows:
>Everyone sits in a circle, waiting for others to arrive
>Therapist offers drinks
>Therapist gives any bulletins or apologies for those who won't make it
>In the case where a member cancels, each remaining member is offered individual therapy that week because he refuses to do 2-patient sessions for his own reasons
>People are then asked whether they would like some time in the two hour session
>Usually I take half an hour or so: in a group of three that's perfectly reasonable but I usually end up dominating the session anyway
>I or another member speaks about whatever has happened lately
>The therapist offers his thoughts, as do other members
>Usually there's a lot of talk about intrajects, transferrence, counter-transferrence and parts of self (this will vary of course depending on therapy type)
>He constantly cautions against using 'I' rather than identifying specific parts for whom a given issue is pertinent, and who is speaking
As you can imagine, this is especially relevant to me and to one other in the group with similar issues
>He will let us know if we're using up too much time/ ask other members whether they're alright to continue
>With a break for another drink or a toilet break at some point, this is the pattern until the end
>>35910200
OK. Interesting.
I told my therapist I was scared to be an insult to other people there, thinking maybe my past isn't "heavy enough" compared to others. But I guess being bathed in your parents' own excrements is heavy enough.Sounds bad, but I can't even be sure that's really what happens; they scheme, and always made it deniable in very plausible ways.
>>35910277
It's certainly heavy enough. Put it this way, there's one of the group who no doubt has his share of problems and was raised by two loving parents who treated him well, but he was adopted. That's it. He was adopted at about a week old and has no memory of his birth parents but he is definitely maladjusted nonetheless. He's a virgin into his thirties, for one thing. He considers sex obscenely irresponsible because after all contraception could fail and then there'd be another unwanted child.
In any case don't worry, your parents were awful.
>>35910359
Thing is, the "normal" version is that my baby brother just shat in the bath.
Sounds plausible enough.
However, the bathwater was opaque, which I think, but am not sure, was unusual, and afterwards, my mother called my other brother to witness the aftermath of my baby brother having smashed excrements all over the bathtub. I even found "bits" myself, and jokingly called it "Fimo clay", though I knew this shit was no clay... My mother turned this into a classic family joke and never got tired or telling the story of how I thought I had found Fimo clay in the bath.
It just sounds too suspicious to me now. I have other shit stories from my parents, literally shit stories.
>>35910478
The first thing to consider is how damaging it was to you. The fact that it's left such a lasting impression suggests at the very least that the treatment of the incident was inadequate. Even if it was only their derision that left you wounded, the fact remains that they did injury to you.
The above is only if we accept their version of events so that we have a worst-case scenario in which they are still, ultimately, to blame for hurting you longterm. More likely though, as happened in my own experience, they're more than willing to undermine your own experience in order to rob you of your right to acknowledgement and ultimately, to create a status quo where they have nothing to apologise for. If anything, it's you who's being ridiculous for creating such a twisted story about your parents. Unbelievable really.
As I think we have discussed, this mirrors my own experience and I'm still never completely confident in my own story. That's exactly what they want, because they are able to use your trust in order to hurt you. They know that you're unable to escape it; your faith in your parents - however diminished - remains your snare.
>>35910683
>The first thing to consider is how damaging it was to you. The fact that it's left such a lasting impression suggests at the very least that the treatment of the incident was inadequate. Even if it was only their derision that left you wounded, the fact remains that they did injury to you.
Until recently, I remembered this event as the joke it was repeated as. A funny family moment. With shit.
It was like this for a bunch of other weird events. I wasn't affected by it much, consciously at least.
You're right about the rest.
That's exactly how my parents react whenever I have confronted them. Denial, they blame you, they will say things like, "How dare you imagine such things?" if they bother to remain in the same room as you. Last time I talked to my mother, about much more concrete things, she realised I wasn't gonna take any shit from her anymore, and she just fled like a coward. Haven't heard of her in a week.
Haven't seen her since February, and may never see her again. Just like that, your own parents will abandon you (I'm not even surprised).
Oh life...
>>35910756
>Last time I talked to my mother, about much more concrete things, she realised I wasn't gonna take any shit from her anymore, and she just fled like a coward.
That has been exactly my experience as well. At some point, you have to just give up on them. They're a waste of your energy and remember, if they don't serve your ends they're dead to you. For more on this, ask your parents.
I get panicked and obsessed over really dumb things. Almost always trying to pick between stuff or trying to decide what fits me more. Every time I come to this kind of question from as mundane as picking something in a game to what to eat to what career to go into, I become obsessed over it and freeze up as self depricating thoughts and anxiety regarding it eat at me as I annoy people I barely know by asking them. I talk myself out of everything and am overambitious, talking myself out of art or music by saying ill never be good or creative anyways, I don't have any talent, and that there's no point since I'd never be successful with it or make it into a career. I can't stop being so obsessed with the idea of talent. I'm not able to enjoy anything.
I get minor panic attacks regularly when I'm in school and had the biggest one I've ever had this semester and dropped out because of it.
I have no self esteem and can't enjoy anything.
I have no real life friends.
I find it hard to leave bed in the morning.
I'm too much of a pussy to end it.
I got groomed by a pedo online when I was 14 as my first relationship but I was old enough to know better probably and its not like it was against my free will
I've been made fun of at home and school since I was a kid
My parents would say mean shit and hit me occasionally but other people had it worse
I have a penchant for attracting sociopaths
When I was 10 a kid tried to down me in a pool and I managed to get away as everything was going cold and black and my dad called me a pussy for crying to him about it
I don't have to motivation to even watch tv or keep proper hygeine
I'm horrified of therapists and don't think my issues are worth seeing them over since its just me being autistic or sad.
>>35910889
>if they don't serve your ends they're dead to you.
I used almost the exact same phrase. They were dead to me as soon as I realised, yes, but it was more like, "Since they only care about themselves and never cared about me they're dead to me."
I did so much for them. I'm giving them up not because they can't serve me, but because they are demons.
I want truth, goodness, and beauty in my life, and they have none of these.
Time for bed.
I hope to talk with you way more soon if possible.
>>35910994
Sleep well. With any luck we can continue this tomorrow. I enjoy our talks.
>>35910963
Dont let the past be past friendo.
Even without talent, nothing stops you from making art or music for your own enjoyment.
>>35911052
I can't enjoy it, I can't enjoy anything
I just focus on and get upset at how bad I am and how I'll never make it
>>35910994
Night dude, hope you sleep well
>>35911105
Well if you dont enjoy doing something, dont do it.
So we figured out you dont enjoy making art, thats 1 less thing to worry about and have a debate with yourself over.
Is there anything you enjoy doing?
How hard have you tried to find something youd enjoy?
>>35911146
There's nothing I enjoy
I've hopped between a bunch of different hobbies
Its not that I dislike them, its just that I don't enjoy anything at all
>>35911182
Then we are in the same boat. The only things i enjoy is drinking and smoking. But when im super drunk is it really me thats enjoying those things? I enjoy drinking because i enjoy what the world is when im not sober.
Other than that i am mostly at home playing video games because they dont take alot of effort and theyre entertaining enough. Or when i want to exert even less effort i just watch streams.
Dont know what to tell you, try to find something that helps the time pass, even if its not fun, even if its just bearable.
You could consider seeking professional help too.
>>35906378
I'm not necessarily looking to speak with OP but I'm just looking for opinions on this.
I have this friend, they're one of the only people I can identify with, we're cut from the same cloth even thought we're different. I like them very much, and I have a lot of fun around them.
Issue is "they" are an insanely hot girl and even thought I'm not in love with her or anything I can't help but despise this side of her.
The side that makes me feel like I'm a high schooler trying to get inside her pants when she takes hour to respond to texts, cancels plan at the last second, flat out ignores my existence for whole weeks from time to time and so on and so on.
I've grow tired of it, I really can't stress how annoying it is to me.
"So just get the fuck out?" you might be wanting to scream to me, trust me, I did, multiple times, she always finds a way to come back to me and try to talk my into coming back with tears promises and other stuff.
And it's not surprising, the sad truth is that I'm her only genuine friend.
And today, guess what? I'm tired again.
She's been ignoring me for the past week, and I'm contemplating just blocking her from everywhere and calling it a day, it'll hurt both of us, but I feel like this has been going on long enough.
Or maybe I'm just overeating and I need to accept that she doesn't care THAT much about me, even thought she keeps saying she does, but If I accept that she doesn't care about me I'm afraid I'll start distancing myself from her and our bound will just die out in a whimper instead of a big emotional burst
And I find the latter to be cooler.
Please do anything, ask question, insult me, anything, I just need to get this out of my system
i hate my dad, he is an asshole; everytime i seeing the joke that my parents marriage are and how much my mom suffers because of that, i want to kill my dad
months ago i tell my cousin that i love her, she never talked to me again (she's 20), she blocked me on facebook and whatsapp, i never understood why, we used to touch our hands when were kids
>13 posters
>87 posts
>this cuck-knuckle makes these threads every other day
>even includes his tripfag friends to make sure that his thread doesn't go to page 10 because nobody gives a shit about it
>gives bullshit gay advice
>when he went to bed after his previous thread, it instantly died
Kill yourself, my man.
>>35911449
If you feel like the relationship between you 2 is not healthy for you there is no reason to stay.
Ill give you my perspective. I play this game and in this game i have a friend that i play with sometimes, but often ill not see his message asking me to play or ill see it and forget about it. You know why? Because i dont care that much.
Same could be with your friend, she just might not care all that much.
Block her on everything, slowly distance yourself it doesnt matter to me, thats your choice. But being in a relationship that affects you negatively is illogical.
>>35911449
Just do it.
It will feel like a bitch and then it will get better.
Easier to mourn whatever the relationship was to you once, than every single time she talks to you.
Good luck, Anon; don't try to excuse her behavior by thinking she doesn't know what she's doing; just Stockholm Syndrome-esque.
>>35911590
well I would not have stayed if It only affected me negatively, she's like a beacon for me, a way to know where I am in life.
And if I knew she just straight up didn't give a shit like I don't give a shit about the random people I add on steam I would never have come so far with her.
We go way back, like, 5years back, we've always been kind of stuck with each other, but lately she's changed and the relationship went from really close to "OF COURSE WE'RE STILL CLOSE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HAHA"
feels like she's more attached to the idea of having me as a friend than having ME as a friend.
Anyways
I'll delete her, I'm tired and my head hurts, I can't be bothered with this kind of mundane shit anymore.
>>35911756
5 years is plenty of time for someone to change their mind, trust me i know very well how it looks like when one loses interest in another.
And id say the best solution is to just let it be. Let yourself slowly distance, let it be natural, who knows maybe further down the line the spark will be back, dont close the door for yourself. You can still talk but talk less, thats fine too right?
>>35911834
i wish i was stronger
so i could just ignore her and let her be without cutting all contact
but i get lonely easily and she knows that
i'll try my best
>>35912054
Yeah, what ive mentioned works only when you can distract yourself with other things, become less dependent on the said person. Get a hobby no matter how stupid it is, make it part of your daily plan. Try to have some fun and do things you enjoy. If you cannot find things you enjoy, find entertaining things you can rely on that help the time pass until something better pops up.
>>35906378
I have aspergers and ADD, how do I cope with anger / stress that being around large groups of people cause like I understand I come off as a dick if I just walk away from friends and family but if I try to force myself through clusterfuck arguments I usually flip shit and have I psychotic breakdown followed by "I don't understand why you're upset"?