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>tfw I used to want someone to corner me on my way home and

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>tfw I used to want someone to corner me on my way home and blow my brains out
>or come into my home and do so

>tfw even now this isn't enough
>>
I often fantasize about being held up at gunpoint and putting his gun to my head and telling him to do it

That would be a good way to go out
>>
>Guns mostly outlawed, have to pay out the ass for pistols poor af

>Every other method of suicide is drawn-out, painful, and has a chance of leaving you more retarded than you already

People seem to die of nothing ever day, why can't it be me for once?
>>
Surely there's some site to connect people who want to be killed and those who want to kill those willing
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>>24074404

I want it to be done in some specific way. I shouldn't, I know.

People with a death wish are seldom able to choose. Or maybe they are, it's just an odd coupling.

Call me a keck, but I don't trust to be killed by just anyone. If I were to have a mutual agreement of having my life taken I'd want it to be done by a woman I thought was attractive. That way if there will be any pleasure taken in my murder it won't have been by a male.

I feel like some how I could make up for the intimacy i've avoided for my entire life, to end my life in some odd form of passion.

But make no mistake I have no problem being killed by man if he took no personal pleasure in it.
I would also only be comfortable knowing they would make me disappear. Dispose of my corpse with extreme prejudice. No trace, maybe chemical disincorporation.
I want no one whom i've ever known to have any idea what happened to me.
I offer them no closure, just my exit from their lives to make it easier to forget me.
>>
Jesus Christ the people on this board really are fucked up
>>
>>24074678
How have you come so far to avoid sharing that notion?
>>
>>24074678
Yea, beneath all the frog posting, tendie munching, and general cringe worthy attitudes, most of us really just want to die. The actual rowboats, anyway.
>>
>tfw you know that if you ever get threatened at gunpoint you'll show little emotion and calmy ask them to shoot you, but they'll get weirded out and run away because you don't want to defend yourself and then you're back to square one.
>>
>>24074129
>watch scary movie alone at night
>get scared like the pussy I am when trying to go to bed
>w-what was that
>start being paranoid that someone is in the house
>realize the worst they can do is kill me
>begin hoping someone IS in my house so they put me out of my misery
>get out of bed and walk into the front room eyes closed but head held high and turned on the lights
>stood there for 30 seconds before I opened my eyes
>turns out my cat was just messing shit up on the counter
For a moment I was brave
>>
>>24074806
People aren't used to others with such little regard for their own life. Wanting to shed your mortal coil that badly unsettles people, even ones willing to harm you already.

One would think that everyone on the planet would have it dead set in their minds that one day they will cease to live. Why is a person who would rather this sooner than later so strange?
>>
>>24074867
At the risk of sounding too edgy, Religious and social conditioning. "don't suicide or you'll go to Hell!"

Not to mention the thousands of people with great lives shouting"it only gets better! You have soooooo of much to live for!"

We're taught from an early age that death is to be feared and shamed.
>>
>>24074866
>iktf
unwavering bravery born from despair is the most tragic shit i've ever experienced and it's only happened 3 times to me.

Wandering into my grandmother's pitch black basement knowing that the dark can take nothing of value away from me was one of the most strangest moments of my life.

I felt liberated from almost all emotions, not in a catatonic state. That's a misnomer. I just felt like I was already gone. Not quite sad, or angry. Just gone.

The thing about the missed intimacy in my life has led me to believe if I were to ever cross paths with something that I felt in my heart would kill me and it wasn't human but I felt it were attractive in some way.

I'd demand it either kill me or date me.
Call me a fool but I don't really consider myself desperate for affection, not really. But I suppose that fits the textbook definition whether I like it or not. I've gone almost 2 decades never worrying about courting women or trying to impress them to gain favor. I'm not even sure i've had interest in doing anything of that sort ever.

The more malicious side is if I did find something that did not belong in my house there would be a thin line between letting it take me, or brutally murdering it, inflicting sexually motivated agony.
It would depend on my mood.
>>
>>24074866
>realize the worst they can do is kill me
The can do much worse.
>>
>>24075013
We're all sadists here. Some of us would enjoy torture, I'm sure. Assuming that's what you were getting at.
>>
>>24075013
Explain what's worse besides torture that does not ultimately lead to death? Something that perpetuates life in some constant agony?

This seems very unlikely without heavily advanced scientific equipment or supernatural means.

And if either are the case, then you stray into more complicated means. Like locking someone in a stasis of perpetual fear and agony that expunges the memory of the encounter to freshen the torture.

>>24075052
>We're all sadists here. Some of us would enjoy torture
I'm not sure you wrote this correctly.

>>24074990
No religious conditioning keeps me from taking my own life personally.
But in the case above it isn't the case. It's merely the indifference of if your life is taken or not regardless of your involvement of it.

For the argument's sake. Is it a sin to not care if you die but refuse to kill yourself?
>>
>>24075130
Oops yea, I guess I meant masochists. vocabulary was never my thing.
>>
>>24075013
Some meth head looking for cash isn't going to hang around and set up Saw 9 in suburbia. He'd feel cornered and shoot me and then scram the fuck out.
>>
>>24075130
I didn't meant that it was entirely a religious thing.just that it was a part of the outcome of it. I did also say social conditioning. Religious conditioning influences social conditioning which has influenced the way your brain was programmed from the day you were born. Which is why people as a whole have such a stigma and weirdness about death and those who are in different about it.
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>>24075201
Genuinely laughed at this. But yes, that's very true.
>>
if death doesn't worry you why not just take late night walks? even if you don't get your wish, it's a thoroughly relaxing experience.
>>
>>24074129

if you live on the west coast I will literally come and murder you if you like
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