Who /mischief/ here? >go to mcdonald's >use the restroom

Damn that's /devilish/

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>>23970174
nail by nail

>See person walking their dogs 30 feet or so away in a quiet area when nobody else is around
>Screech loudly so that the dogs get distressed and become a nuisance to the owner
>Turn around at the same time as him looking around to see where the hell that weird noise came from
>Laugh in the same high pitched voice as soon as he turns around and keeps walking

This literally keeps me up at night laughing

>Go into music stores and ask for very obscure albums
>Tell them I don't actually want them after they spend ~5 minutes looking for it

MINOR INCONVENIENCE
Y

S
I
D
E
S

>>23970174
You'd never get away with that. The cashier, even during busy times would know you didn't order anything.

>>23970174
This doesn't work anymore, as they require the receipt number to give to the customer now.

>Put milk carton in middle of the road
>Wait for a car to run over it to see the explosion

ANARCHY
P
E
X

K
E
K

>>23970935
Most of the time they don't even ask for it.

>play league of legends
>go in ranked on my platinum smurf
>check if anyone is in their promo series to diamond 5
>lock in heimer jungle and proceed to do everything in my power to lose

>Hide mommy's keys in slightly inconvenient or hard-to-reach places if she doesn't cook me a proper dinner

She's my bitch hahahhaha

>>23970839

>the screech, mating call of the autist

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>playing call of duty 3 in 2007
>tfw continually killing and reviving your team mates so they cant move for the entire match

>Playing Left 4 Dead
>Join a Hard campaign
>Normies discussing normie shit over the mic
>Shoot everyone just before the safezone
>Set self on fire

GOT WHAT THEY DESERVED REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>Tell people I'm having a drop party on Runescape
>Never drop anything

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>"Are you okay?"
>Say "Yeah" when really I'm not okay at all

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MADMAN

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>>23971099
Yes that was my favorite technique. Those medics were gods amomg men.

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>Leaving a crowded bus
>Rip a lethal, stinky fart as I exit
>Look back at bewildered faces

>>23970928
I've gotten away with it before
>>23970935
Not at my McDonald's.

>Go to mcdonalds, preferably a two stories one
>Go upstairs
>Stay for a while
>Go to the cashier and tell him, you spilled your drink
>They send one guy to clean up the mess
>Get free drink
>Walk away

>>23971360
>get on bus
>have it take me to my destination
>40 blocks later
>wait for someone to call for the next stop
>walk out with them
>the driver yells at me and curses me out
>walk away laughing

>>23971570
I don't get it. Do buses work differently wherever you're from? What did you do wrong?

>Go to subway
>choose bread
>ask for cheese even though allergic
>instant spots
>complain cheese is bad
>get coupon for like 10 free subs for not complaining by the guy

>>23971570
Huh so confuse.

>>23971608
>>23971633
Over here in New Jersey we have two type of buses. The NJ Transit that has a schedule and for which you can get a bus pass or pay cash first before getting on. And we have the cheaper spic buses that show up every 2 minutes and in which everyone pays their fare while getting off.

>>23970174
>wash dress clothes
>don't dry on delicates setting

>>23971698
Oh, I see. I've never been on a bus that doesn't require payment when you get on. Very mischievous desu, f@m.

>>23971337
h-haha me too

>tell myself I'm going to become a better person
>don't

>get drunk at some guy's house with a buddy
>pass out
>wake before everyone else
>go through guy's stuff because bored
>find gift bag with stuff that was for his gf who had broken up with him
>take the stuff and put it in my backpack
>they wake up
>casually leave with my buddy
>never see guy again

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>save a picture off of 4chan
>change the filename to make it look like I got it from tumblr

>>23971055
My brother! I approve.

>homeless man asks for money
>ignore him and keep walking

>>23970839
That's not devilish, everyone knows what's happening. You're just an autist who screams sporadically.

>>23972794
Seems like mischief to me m8, and that's what the OP asked for. You're not a normie, are you?

>>23970928
>>23970935
>>23972794

Seriously, fuck off back to reddit.

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>Give homeless people food and drink instead of the money they want to buy drugs with

>save rare pepe
>post it and don't take it down within one minute

MARKET FLOOD
Y

S
I
D
E
S

>Get stopped by normie strangers and tourists asking directions to places
>Deliberately give them false directions
>Make a point of watching them leave

I literally can't stop

>work at bar
>people ask for a few ice cubes
>only give them one

>>23971017
>fill balloon up with water
>freeze it
>put in the middle of the street
>cars coming at it think it's water
>it's actually bumper damage

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>>23974013
>The Krusty Krab
>a bar

>>23973975
This is my favorite. I usually deliberately send them in the opposite direction too.

>>23973252
you absolute madman
[/spoiler]this is the right thing to do

I make farting noises when women with children walk by me

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>Break a leg!
>not planning to break anything soon

>>23970928
Typically the cashier doesn't yell out the orders especially when they're busy.

>>23974239
Sometimes it's one of the cooking staff that yells out the order when the cashiers are busy.

>>23974038
Who /noinsurance/ here?

>>23972579
kek I do that too.

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>>23970174
>work at McDonald's
>see autistic looking neckbeard walking in straight to the toilet
>get burger and chips and spit in the chips and wipe the burger in my asshole
>give it to him with a smile
>mfw

>call chinese food place
>they say they don't deliver for a single order
>place five orders of chicken broccoli
>give them different address and fake phone number for call back
>order pizza instead

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>Go to wal*mart
>Buy desktop PC
>Take it home
>Take out parts and switch it with crappy ones
>Return PC
>Minimum wagekeks don't know shit about computers so they can't check
>Sell the parts online for money

I have other mischief stories if anyone wants to hear them.

>>23974551
aww shit, now that's devilish

>>23974551
>I have other mischief stories if anyone wants to hear them.
plz

>>23974551
>>23974632
Yes, feel free to continue

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>>23974632
>>23974714

I was creating some /mischief/ I don't have anymore stories.

>>23974551
profitable mischief
I like it F A M

>>23974738
S A T A N I C

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I posted this here before, but I ran into one of you guys once.

>In university building, has 6 floors
>About to walk into the elevator to go down
>Literally r9k: the person runs out of the elevator in an autistic rush
>Think "Whatever." and get into the elevator as the autist runs away
>Look at the buttons
>All the buttons are lit up.
>Have fast enough reflexes to stop the elevator doors from closing and step out
>Walk down the stairs instead

Thanks, faggot.

>Mom tells me to get a job
>Tell her to keep a husband longer than 5 months
>Runs out crying

kek what a whore desu

> way back in high school
> offer to do assignment for a Stacy
> don't do it
> Stacy fails assignment and gets a shitty year mark for subject

>post a thread about how hard no fap November is so trolls will comment pictures of sexy grills for me to fap to

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>>23974738
You have a bright future of mischief ahead of you

>prostitute says put on a condom
>don't

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>standing around
>normie asks me if I have a lighter
>say no
>I actually do

>>23974500
Well the good part is mcdonalds doesn't serve chips you fucking brit

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>go to gym
>don't unrack my weights
>watch all the DYELs struggle to unrack my weights

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>>23972579
>take picture from tumblr or funnyjiunk]
>change filename to make it look like i got it from 4chan
pic very much related

>>23975067
Yes it does.

A chip off the old potato

>work at starbucks
>bitch says her drink is too hot
>tell her I'll remake it
>leave it on the counter in plain sight for like 6 minutes while she stares at me do other shit
>hand her back the same cup and smile

>>23975116
>mfw I made that rare pepe

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>go to subway
>order meatball footlong
>extra ranch
>go to the bathroom after the order is filled
>stuff it down the toilet
>leave

Hugs and kisses wagekeks

>hand homeless man full packet of tobacco
>he tearfully thanks me
>I was only offering a cig but let him keep it
GOT YA

>normie asks me if i know where a thing is
>say no, sorry
>mfw i knew where the thing was all along

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>post mischief on mischief thread
>never actually did anything

>>23975168
Actually I made it

>>23974921
BRO. Not cool.

You shouldn't be saying that to any poor girl that keeps getting dumped by loser bitches scared of commitment, let alone your own mom.

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>>23970174
>Work at retail store
>Before closing the tills for the day, I enter "Skynet" into the username field.
>Close up shop and go home.
>Next morning
>Boss calls a meeting
>Says she has spent the last 2 hours looking at system logs trying to figure out if we have been hacked.
>All of the computers say Skynet.
>Boss thinks we were eitheir hacked or have a virus in the system
>Asks us if we noticed anything weird, or have any additional information
>Say I heard on the news about Skynet recently
>Coworkers say they have no idea
>Boss spends the rest of the day pretending to know anything about IT and trying to figure out what Skynet is.

>>23975188
DEVILISH
E
V
I
LISH
I
S
H

>>23974892
kek'd heartily m8 10/10 would laugh again

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>reply my nigga to a post
>actually deeply disagree with the post and wish the poster would die from cancer

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>sucked on friend's dick after he passed out from drinking
>actually not gay

>>23975332
mein negger

>>23974038
MANIACAL

>>23975364
D E M O N I C

>Eat my pasta salad while taking a shit in a college toilet
>Finish eating and shitting
>Wipe my ass
>Check the tissue to see if there's still shit on it
>A nug of shit falls from the tissue onto the bathroom floor
>I try to pick up the nug with a piece of tissue
>Just end up smearing it across the floor
>Give up and leave because I have a bus to catch
>Miss my bus anyway

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>>23975332
>>23975333
>almost get trips
>dont

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>make a post in a mischief thread about pretending to samefag my own posts
>other people reply that aren't me
>people think that I'm just doing the thing that I said in my post
>I'm not
>nobody knows it but me

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>>23975388
>get dubs instead

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>>23975416
>get dubs instead
>delete it anyways

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>post a woman hate thread
>delete it so it looks like the Mods did it

>>23974551
>>23974738
well played

damn

>>23975168
>>23975196
I came up with the concept originally so I still receive royalties every time someone posts it

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>>23975400
>>23975410
whoa dude pepemind

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>>23975400
U N G O D L Y
N
G
O
D
L
Y

>Tell people I'm okay
>I'm really not

hahahahahahaha

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>>23975462
You humans cannot comprehend the enigma that is evil pepe

>buy pinata
>fill it with almond joy
>drop it off at little kid's party
>change phone number

>>23975480
W O R S E T H A N H I T L E R
O
R
S
E

T
H
A
N

H
I
T
L
E
R

>say i'll do the thing tomorrow
>don't do it

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>>23970174
>see bernie sanders campaigners waving signs on the side of the road
>slow the car down
>roll down window
>yell FREE STUFF and wiggle my finger at them
>drive off cackling as they look at me confused

2015 AMERICA
0
1
5

A
M
E
R
I
C
A

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>>23975510
>almond joy
>not mounds
THE ABSOLUTE FIEND

>>23972217

You, sir, are an honorary jigaboo.

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>burn immigrant villages down
>lynch niggers
>participate in anti immigration protests
>i actually support immigrants and love diversity

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>>23970174
>post in mischief thread
>don't get any replies
>didn't want any

TOO META
O
O

M
E
T
A

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>>23970174

FUCKING

DEMONIC

>>23975603
THE ABSOLUTE KLANSMEN

>website asks me not to use adblock
>use adblock anyways

>>23975628
>want to post in a mischief thread
>tell a bunch of lies

>normie in the class asks to copy my classwork when i'm done
>do it incorrectly and pass it to him
>he returns it when done
>i go back and fix my incorrect answers
>watch him get a bad grade

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>>23975739
>say I don't want replies
>actually do
>I used reverse psychology
>it worked

READ YOU LIKE A BOOK
E
A
C
H
E
D

I
N
T
O

Y
O
U
R

M
I
N
D

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> Shit in the restroom at work
> Don't flush

> Put my bag on the seat next to me in the bus

> Quickly show old ass bus card to the driver and walk in.
> Won't renew it.

> Talking to someone at work while having my phone in hand.
> Watching tranny porn on the phone.

> Someone at work asks me if we have this and that item.
> Nope, haven't seen it.
> It's in our storage.

>>23975180
FUCKING KEK
R
E
E

S
A
N
D
W
I
C
H

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>buy up all the .22lr at every gun shop and walmart
>don't even shoot it, just throw it all in a huge bonfire

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>>23975784
>Just before test
>allthe normioes that ostracize me daily come to me to ask questions
>answer everything wrong
>give slightly wrong formulas
>mfw they all get shit grades and when they confront me about it i just say they misheard me

>Get a library card
>Check out a bunch of books and DVDs
>Don't read or watch any of them
>Keep them in my closet, never return any of them
>Months later, hundreds of dollars in fines
>Never have to pay them because I never go to the library

Everything is on the internet now days.

>tfw downloaded a rare pepe even though the anon said not to download it

>>23971702
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK

>>23975049
>smoking
>normie walks up
>"can I bum one please, man?"
>no sorry this is my last one!
>have full pack

>>23975927
fuck you some of us are gearing up to kill normans

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>go on /r9k/
>have a huge collection of rare Smug Wojaks
>almost exclusively post this, the most common one

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>my ban expires
>get banned again

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>>23973252
>hobo asks me for spare change
>is obviously an addict because of the sores on his face
>give him $10 from my autismbux, given to me by the government, taken from wagekeks
>thus keeping him enslaved to hard drugs
>we're both drains on society

>Poo in Her Loo

>When she doesn't want me to

>>23976237
T R U E E V I L
O
P

K
E
K

>Pouring a glass of milk
>Dog runs up to me and paws at me (she likes milk)
>"Would you like some milky, doggy? Heh heh. Sure, have some!"
>Splash the glass over her face


>She wags her tail and licks it off the floor
>Mischief foiled[/spoiler

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>playing euro truck simulator
>game indicates that i should go left
>go right instead

>working at job site fixing networking issues
>boss asks for password to my laptop that I use for work
>in other part of building so I text him password
>forgot that I had a thread on best methods of suicide pulled up
>mfw he gives me a $1 raise the next day
>mfw I'm still probably gonna kill myself.

>>23976237
A B S O L U T E L Y D E M O N I C

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>>23976316
>he gives me a $1 raise the next day

No raise will remove the pain of being a wagekek

>>23976316
B A S E D B O S S

>anon asks for sauce
>give them false information

>>23976315
THE ABSOLUTE GERMAN

>>23975927
WlCKED

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>>23970174
>cashier asks if I'd like my reciept
>yes
>walk away anyways

DEVILFISH

> join cod match
> guy on my team has a killstreak, probably going for a tactical nuke
> trap him in a corner with my character frame
> enemy finds us
> he dies at 24-0

>>23975441
evil

>>23976718
alternate version:
> join cod match
> teammate has a mic
> trap him in corner
> they either rage, complain, or attempt to insult me
I have never had so much fun fucking with people on online games

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>sell my old ps3 on ebay
>say it's brand new

>mummy asks me if I'm okay; I haven't talked to her in weeks
>tell her I'm great
>am actually a sociopath that will likely an hero very soon

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>>23976803
>sell my ps3 on ebay
>say its pre owned in a bad state
>i actually just bought it and its in mint condition

>Poo poo
>Pee pee
>I pronounce it mee-mee

>>23971698
lol you use spic buses, go build the wall pedro

>go to soc
>rate all the stacys 4/10
>watch them get roastie

>>23975441
jewish/10, good work

>go to self-checkout at wal-mart
>scan all my items and buy them
>when I'm done, set the language to Spanish

>>23976946
I only use them cause I can't follow the NJ Transit schedule. I get on the first bus that shows up and it's usually the spic one.

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>>23976803
>>23976887
>buy some guy's ps3 off ebay
>it's in okay condition
>put it back on ebay and sell it for even higher

>>23973252
I've always wanted to sit down with a tramp and offer them a beer just to hear their story.

>>23976969
>go to cvs self checkout
>scan a thing in every machine
>put a different thing on each scale
>all the machines get a red light and can't be used until problem is solved
>walk away as the wagekek frustratingly unlocks the machines one by one
>tfw making a wagekek do work

>>23974103
do you even know how to spoiler

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>>23977104
of course I do, but this exact response was part of my plan.

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>>23970174
>at college
>draw all over the bathroom stalls
>clog toilets and urinals, flooding floors
>draw a big penis going up 4 stairwells, wrapping around the walls. All the parents saw it during parents visitation weekend
>whole floor got fined
>filled up Pringles cans with piss and left them in hallways
>pissed in stairwells
>drew pictures of the RAs sucking cock on their dry erase boards outside their rooms
>stole panties and bras from laundromat

>>23975441
I thought you couldn't delete threads anymore for exactly this reason

>have to get underwater weighing test
>sister wears tight pants and a bra
>she pretends to put her hair up in ponytail
>doc says she can't wear ponytail
>I didn't even have a shower that day

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>>23970174
>go to /r9k/
>post in threads about how awesome reddit is
>never actually gone there

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>>23977159
all part of the plan blox

>>23970174
> boring as fuck English literature class
> browsing r9k instead of reading book
> watch The Joy of Painting on phone while covering it with book
> whenever teacher calls on me subtly banepost in the style of the book we're reading

>post about getting trips
>get dubs instead

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>>incorrectly greentext

>>make small nuances and mannerisms in my posts that insinuate that I'm a newfag that isn't properly acquainted with chan culture

>>purposely misread greentexts as what posters are actually saying instead of quoting or implying things and start arguments over them

>>respond seriously to obvious copypasta

>>before posting pictures rename the filename to image and convert them into jpgs to make it seem like I'm posting from a phone

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>>23977513
I fucking fell for the second one and I was just about to sperg over it. Nicely done, mischief toad.

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>shopkeeper tells me to have a nice day
>don't

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>Think I'm a waste of space and resources and that the world and the lives of those around me would be better off if I killed myself
>Continue living anyway

>>23977278
heh i remeber that one

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>Tell everybody I'm a pedo
>I'm actually into older women

>say'check my dubs' in mischief thread
>actually got trips

>>23977776
MISCHIEF AVERTED

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>>23977776
>try to roll a pent
>dont

>Find some great amateur porn online
>Download it
>Send the site an email pretenting to be the girl
>It gets taken down

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>>23977776
>about to get quints
>off by one
wew lad

playing search and destroy hardcore MW2

join a game thats tied 4-4

kill all my teamates with a rocket launcher

>>23970935
Nope.
It doesn't work because they remember your face.

I like to drive 10 under in the right lane.

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>>23977962
>playing hardcore in mw2
>equip one man army and just spam flashbangs at my teammates
>ask them why they killed me when they get annoyed with my antics

>work in retail
>customer asks me where the cutlery is
>say I dont know I've only just started
>I knew they were in the aisle we were both standing in

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>>23978002
>Play Arma 3
>Be Grenadier
>Throw Smoke grenades on allies
>Use M203 to shoot smoke at them.
>They ask me to stop smoking
>I tell them I'm not smoking, I'm vaping.

>go to mischief thread
>don't post mischief story

>>23978002

also stealing teamates care packages. I had a lot of fun with MW2.

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>play league of legends
>tell my team in ranked that I'm bronze and on tilt
>I'm actually gold on a win streak

>customer asks me to look for item in back
>go into the back
>just stand there and dont look
>tell customer we didnt have the item
>other employees do this

>>23978318
>deliberately got my way down to <100 MMR on the Oceanic server
>I either tryhard or lose vs specific people just to see aussie teenyboppers angrily type death threats in the chat
>these people are usually reddit memers

>>23978469
>be first pick
>someone calls jungle and someone else calls vayne adc
>pick vayne jungle

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>>23978469
>anyone who plays league
>isn't a reddit memer by default

>>23978610
They're lolg memers

>customer asks for light ask
>give him regular ice

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>>23978610
>>23978586
>>23978634
bogans

>>23977661
you teach them robot

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>online racing game
>purposely drive the opposite way and try to get into a head on collision with the first place drivers

>dad calls me, asks me if I'm doing alright
>tell him I'm doing fine
>I'm actually really suicidal

eat shit dad I didn't ASK to be born

>>23977962
>search and destroy
>first round killed everyone on the other team with a grenade launcher on afghan
>kill everyone on my team next round
>kek

>>23978002
>mw2
>the one place with bunkers
>get air drop
>throw it into bushes
>my team gets killed trying to find the lost care packages

>working at theater
>bitch asks me if we use unsalted butter
>go check, it's salted
>the butter is unsalted ma'am

C H O L E S T E R O L

>>23979184
but you're not really allowed to devilish your own posts anon

>>23979326
>devilish thread on /r9k/
>I devilish my own posts

D E V I L I S H

>>23975180
i dont get it (ps fuck you robot)

>>23979358
A S S H O L E

S

S

H

O

L

E

>>23979018 >>23979024 >>23979067 >>23979111 >>23979184 >>23979326 >>23979358 >>23978586 >>23978212 >>23977990 >>23977857 >>23977806 >>23977661 >>23977599 >>23977513

>quote random posts in the thread
>sidequoting

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>come out as gay
>tell a girl who likes me
>lead on and cuddle a friend
>I'm not gay

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>>23979395
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/r9k/ - ROBOT9001
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10/31/15 New trial board added: /his/ - History & Humanities
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201 KB
Anonymous 11/03/15(Tue)06:57:56 No.23970174 >>23970773 >>23970928 >>23970935 >>23971702 >>23974500 >>23975242 >>23975564 >>23975628 >>23975633 >>23976590 >>23977200 >>23977355 >>23977380
>pretend not to know how to properly greentext
>completely derail the thread with other anons quoting and making fun of me while I help them by samefagging the same thing

>think /r9k/ is overrun with cancer and normalfags
>continue to post and lurk anyway

>>23977200
Nice dubs and good job, you should have shit in the hallways and inside the washers and driers too.

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>enter mischief threads
>instead of posting original and funny content, I post shitty metajokes

>>23975386
FUCVK thats funny

>>23974038
MADMAN
A
D
M
A
N
Top fucking kek on this pussy thread

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>>23972217
sinful brother

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>Pretend to hate frogposters

>enter mischief thread
>start greentexting something impressive
>people think I have mischief to tell
>dont

>>23970174
>taking permit test at dmv
>everyone day's good luck
>have bad luck and fail

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>save one post one thread
>save one
>don't post one

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>post completely original abstract-circle pepe
>don't delete the comment
>market automatically flooded by the pepe I made
>mfw i caused mischief on myself

>>23976237
Nvm this is new top kek of this thread. You're doing gods work anon, keep it up

>>23975927
How are we supposed to shoot up schools if you're hoarding and wasting all the fucking ammo annon. Dumb cvck

>>23974500
>chips

At least im not a britkek lol

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>bum at least 5 cigarettes everyday from coworker
>he begins to get visibly agitated when i come in
>act offended that he begrudges me just one cigarette

>>23974595
>>23974632
>>23974714
>>23974751
>>23974881
>>23974881
Ill pick up where >>23974738 left off

>buy replica beats by dre from asia for $20
>buy real beats by dre from best buy for $300 cash
>return replica beats in real beats packaging a dew days later for $300 refund
>sell real beats on ebay for $300
>repeat for infinite moneys

Protip: you need a fake id to do this because they ask for it at BB

>>23981036
More like these

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>use senpai, desu, and so on in the post-filter era
>it's not the filter
>I am actually typing out those words

>>23979018
>grief in every multiplayer game I ever play
still laugh each and every time