Now what? TLDR In following post

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>>53650689
Ex: Many citizens (and I myself am guilty of this, when it comes to clothing, food, and the like) will unknowingly, and at times, willingly purchase products from companies that outsource labor and use tax loopholes to maximize profits, despite product quality or the welfare of their home country (i.e Apple's new iPhone with outsourced labor to China, automobile manufacturers outsourcing labor to Mexico, etc etc).

There is a lot I am seeing that wants to make me give up on my country, let alone life. Whats the point? Not even the idea of furthering myself motivates me, not the idea of getting a college degree, I don't feel purpose towards anything.

When I think about it, it seems like were just kids in adult bodies, going about our daily lives focused on ourselves but masqeurading as though we were self righteous champions of:
>social justice
>racial equality (*cough* black lives matter *cough*, and I'll get into this abomination)
>democracy
>the constitution
And so forth.

I think what killed me the most was seeing the democratic debate, and someone asking
>Do black lives matter, or do all lives matter?
It seems like the result of media brainwashing, and the desire to be a part of something, combining into one monstrous entity: a group of people that can feel they do no wrong, impose their will upon others, while taking a self righteous and morally upright stance in any situation, neglecting statistical data and hard facts for the sake of their own agenda. The idea that all blacks are being persecuted in this day and age, the idea that women aren't equal to men yet, the only thing I can think of is,

>are these people fucking retarded?

Now what /pol/? Am I just a brain washed kid myself? What do I even do at this point? I was thinking, find a small apartment, paint and live simply until I die alone, depressed, hopped up on anti-psychotic medication and drugs.
TLDR: Lost faith in humanity after dem debate. Now what? Am I a retard? Your thoughts?

>>53650689
>>53651162

You are suffering from a condition know to us as being "red-pilled". There is no way of going back, at least no easy way.

Be glad you got a lighter break.
An actual big problem forcibly causing a change in mindset like that can be damaging.

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>>53651954
...then how do I go "forward"? Is there even a forward to go to? Is there a place of joy? Is suicide after 50 years what awaits?

>>53652124
Please explain. Maybe I did have a big problem, I just don't want to make this into a personal blog. In the eyes of many they would say I've been through "a lot". Well at least I've had a roof over my head.

>>53652256
Just from the sound of it, you had more of a personal revelation than getting involved in a argument/fight with someone else.
That probably means you didn't get yelled it, or had people try to dox you, or get chased out of any online communities, etc.

>>53650689
>>53651954

You've brought up a lot, but I'd just say one thing that might help. As was said, you are having a "red-pill" moment realizing that most people have zero notion of rationality/logic/reason. One thing I think might help you is to not try to figure out the motives and tactics of leftists/progressives. Just accept that they all have a victim complex, view everything as oppressive, and want to tear everything down. Trying to diagnose why leftist behave the way they do can be a huge burden on the mind.

>>53652369
I was told by my parents that I am the biggest worthless piece of shit of the three sons they've had, that I am a failure, that "we have failed as parents". It wasn't a light personal revelation. It was a part of me becoming a sociopath to adapt to the world around me, to see that my mother is a sub-consciously manipulative bitch that would focus on her self image and how others thought of her at my expense. That my oldest brother would use me as an emotional punching bag and put me down for his own sake, whether it be by being physically "better" than me or by using mental gymnastics to convince me, as a teenager growing up, that his fat lazy ass sitting at home did more around the house than me, who did my parents laundry when they were sick, cleaned our tiny apartment, took care of things, and so forth. My other brother would constantly harass me for his own amusement until finally, the psychiatrist realizes I have PTSD from these psychological triggers my brothers knowingly drilled into me (people behind me, feeling like I'm being watched, and I have two soft spots, back of the neck and I'll go into a blind rage or curl up into a ball and just shut down, and the left side of my ribs). This was all made worse with a deep seated internal hatred, amplified by "bipolar disease".

Take into account bullying at school growing up, dealing with retards at school when I rose to leadership positions, and finally going to University and having a mental break down, and you get the silver plated sack of shit that is me.

I'm not here to say "Boo Hoo poor me!". But I came to realize how things worked the more I talked with people. I went through the mental break down and had a 3 day stay in a psych ward because of this. So I've had my own small journey, of course not as bad as a third world child whose had to kill to survive, but just bad enough to wake me up. Again, sorry for "personal blog".

>>53652592
Thanks for the advice anon, its already helping a bit.

>>53652777
That sounds pretty shitty. If you have a serious problem with bipolar disease, look into medication. My mother is bipolar and dealing with her becomes very difficult when she doesn't take her medication.
I can't say much about internal hatred, but try and find some non-destructive (or at least cheap and not self harmful) method of release. When I was a teenager I was addicted to videogames in general to distract from my shitty life, and I managed to not kill myself.

>>53653032
Alright, thanks man. Appreciate it. I can get back into drawing I guess. Play plenty of vidya already. Will do on the medication.

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>>53650689
>>53651162