>Would you like to join me for Bible study, anon?
I will join you
I come in the name of Jesus by the power of the holy spirit
May I introduce you to our lord and savior Loomis?
>Kings first, anon. Then the Gospels
That's a small penis.
Wait, before we go further, we need to decide on a version of the bible to use. I prefer to use the New American Bible Revised Edition. In fact, that's the only bible worth reading.
Yes, let's focus on the parts that contradict eachother. Or the ones where god kills people just because he feels like it. Or how inferior women are to men.
>Julian Day 2457086 (superior date measurement)
>believing in a god as defined by so called christians
Jesus Christ you fellas are Autistic. Like fedoras trying to appear intellectual, you fucks trying to appear like pious and well-read, well spoken upstanding gentlemen is cringe-inducing.
Can we talk about The Apocalypse of Peter?
"The Apocalypse of Peter (or Revelation of Peter) is an early Christian text of the 2nd century and an example of apocalyptic literature with Hellenistic overtones. It is not in the Bible today, but is mentioned in the Muratorian fragment, the oldest surviving list of New Testament books, as no longer being allowed to be read in church."
>I heard one of the reasons the church nixed this book is bc of this;
There is also a section which explains that in the end God will save all sinners from their plight in Hell:
"My Father will give unto them all the life, the glory, and the kingdom that passeth not away, ... It is because of them that have believed in me that I am come. It is also because of them that have believed in me, that, at their word, I shall have pity on men... "
Thus, sinners will finally be saved by the prayers of those in heaven. Peter then orders his son Clement not to speak of this revelation since God had told Peter to keep it secret:
[and God said]"... thou must not tell that which thou hearest unto the sinners lest they transgress the more, and sin."
Only if I can deposite some brogurt in your depravity cavity with my mean bean machine
>Using a completely inaccurate, mistranslated book instead of the Glorious unaltered Book of Mormon.
Sure, let's study christianity.
Behead those who insult melon.
Aren't imaginary friends for little children and the mentally ill?
>Don't mind me, anon. I'm just taking out the trash
When the Muslims drag you out of your home and behead you in the street, be sure to tell them how they can't do it because their god isn't real. I'm sure that will keep the knife from slicing through your vulnerable Marxist flesh.
>you will never remove kebab with flamethrowers
>you will never impale their crispy bodies
Can we dance around with rattle snakes and speak in made up tongues?
Don't be silly
are you using christ-chan
purely for the fact that i might not pick it out like i picked out ebola-chan?
>you will never have a pure hearted Christian qt try to save your eternal soul from damnation
Wears a lot of clothes. Modesty, frugality, etc.
Whatever happen to the Ebola girl one??
What ideas of value could I learn from over thousand years old fiction?
Bible study teaches us philosophy and textual criticism; it improves how we conduct ourselves and our thoughts, and teaches us to read texts critically. Bible study can be really useful breh.
>Always tell yes to Jehova's witnesses when they ask that
>They never come back
It must startle them to be in a completely new situation
you are all fucking faggots
>there are white people that believe in Yahweh
>there are white people on /pol/ that believe in Yahweh
I really didn't need to be reminded right now.
if we read from the book of mormon!
>I don't like religion because it hurts my feelings
God is not evil in the same way a rock isn't evil for falling on you Do you know what justice means?
Stop saying this with pictures of war. His will for us is to be like Him, as any father wants his children to be like him. His will is for us to repent, to realize our weakness, and to be reconciled to Him, and accept His holy anointed one, Jesus Christ and to love each other, to forgive and bless.
Islam will be destroyed, but it is not our role to fight fire with fire. Our role is to be persecuted, for our testimony of the Lord and His anointed. The world hated Him, and so we will be persecuted.
Please reconsider your position.
Only if you can read it in the original languages. I should have more patience, but I don't, and getting hung up on people who deal with translation errors and can't get to the actual meaning of the original words frustrates me.
>There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.
>And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
>And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.
>And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.
I don't see many Odin's around. Or the works of Odin. Or any of your false gods.
I wouldn't be a Christian if I knew that the bible wasn't true.
I know that it is, and therefore I am.
When you get tired of the feminism, lies, abominations, death, war and other stupid things, come join us.
You are welcome, because of His love for us.
With a strong hand, and with a stretched out arm: for his mercy endureth for ever.
>if not to erase evidence
He has done no crime, and has to cover nothing. In fact, His works are all around you. His truth is in a book, just 5 seconds away in your browser.
He hated seeing the wickedness of what was being done on the earth. The hybrid angel/humans, wicked giants, murderers, all types of perverse pagan worship, etc. So He flooded the world, and let Noah's family escape and carry animals with them to start over new.
>calling a white englishman a darkskin
Hehehehe. You've got millions of muslims in your country too.
False god from 1000 years ago is something to be proud of in your heritage? The only God created the universe, and loves me and has never lied to me. Why would I possibly want to abandon Him?
You do know that the Hebrew in question never actually says "Earth", right? Just the "Land", like how it talks about the "Land" of Egypt or the "Land" that is being promised to the Hebrews.
It's in His holy bible. It's true. 100%, without question.
The simple, non-child explanation is that it's a sculpture put together for a traveling circus meant to dupe money from the yokels who '100%, without question' know that they couldn't possibly be getting tricked by the ones they're giving money to.
I love this book, one of my favorites.
There is so much awesome stuff in Christianity, both "official" and unofficial materials.
Have you read the infancy gospels?
As for why I don't join the "real" church confession weirds me out, and I went in one day and about 10 people tried to get money from me, while asking uncomfortable questions about my parents and children.
Maybe I'll just fag it up with the Penispelicans.
If you're reading this, and do not believe the universe was assembled by a Galilean carpenter, you are one of the few remaining uninfected. That belief is the primary symptom of a contagion which today afflicts 2.2 billion worldwide, not counting other species descended from it like Islam and Mormonism.
The formula: Charismatic speaker accumulates followers with fantastical claim of imminent disaster, usually end of the world. To be saved from it, you must sell your belongings, acknowledge his greatness and cut off family members who try to stop you from following him. Also known as a doomsday cult.
As it grows it will drop the more burdensome requirements as they are no longer necessary to retain new recruits. At this point it is too late to stop it and growth will continue until it has fully integrated with the host culture. The preferred targets will be young children, as they’ve not yet developed critical thinking faculties, and emotionally/financially vulnerable persons such as prisoners or third worlders.
It includes an unverifiable future reward as incentive to believe, unverifiable future punishment to deter disbelief, and an invisible trickster to explain away contrary evidence. The mechanism is dead simple but buried almost invisibly among entertaining stories, basic self help advice and so on.
If you encounter an afflicted person who realizes you don't have it, they will attempt to spread it to you by written and spoken information, just as the cold or flu cause hosts to cough/sneeze for propagation purposes. Resisting this process will provoke defense mechanisms, consisting of either apologetics or jokes concerning headwear.
Seek out and organize with the immune or not yet afflicted. If surrounded, disable hosts by a gunshot to the brain or any other vital organs, or by severing the head from the body. Remove the remains from where you eat/sleep and burn them to avoid conventional disease. Stay tuned for further broadcasts.
>Worshipping the gods of the today equivalent of somalians.
>Oy vey, forgetting the nose?! Dis is like anudda shoah!!!
but what about the kikes?
absolutely haram version now
you were saying? i hate this shitty hipster love for norse mythology and shit as much as the next guy but let's try to be in the know, mmk
Only heretics do that; dear.
You`re not a heretic, are you?
I'll pass. I have little tips to perform.
fucking 6ft manlets
>not being 36 ft nephilim masterrace
>all these shit viking gods die in an apocalypse similar to the christian genesis
God confirmed for winner of Super Smash Deities.
no because you are just a badly drawn cartoon
Peter was dead by then, so he could not be the author. The author claims to be Peter, which means he is a liar. As he wrote in the 2nd century, he was not an eyewitness to Jesus' ministry, death or resurrection.
Your clip demonstrates that on top of all of that, it contradicts known scripture.
Into the trash it goes.
Several apocryphal have been nixed from the Bible. I'm honestly amazing the Revelative accord to John (Not the others mentioned in the Bible) was included.
Apocryphal texts completely goes against modern ideas of Heaven and Hell.
As far as all sinners go to heaven, apocypha tells us most of us are destined for the new world, not Heaven. According to apocrypha, some Christians will never even enter Heaven. The only way to enter Heaven is supposedly God's mercy.
Not only that, apocrypha older then that tells us we don't even go to Heaven or Hell when we die. It tells us there are about... oh, 4 differents places we might wait out the centuries at while we wait on the new Heaven and Earth.
in a thread where there's an image telling you to post text,
you're assisting in subversion of the captcha, which means that people who aren't in america can make use of a loophole.
christ-chan, remember to give caesar's what is caesar's, and God's, what is God's.
>be sound guy for church
>really pretty girl comes in one day
>find out she's a /g/-tier wizard with technology
>show her how the soundboard works, she picks it up almost instantly
>let her sit in the sound room with me so we can chat while preacher man preaches
>she is the coolest person on earth, thinking about asking her out
>find out 2 weeks ago she is going to africa for a mission trip or something
she's going to a dangerous place with muslims and i'm really afraid she's going to die
And this my friends is why Christianity is the enemy of the white race.
She's going to get raped. But it's OK, she'll forgive her attacker. Maybe you can raise the half-nigglet with her. It's what God wanted, which is why God commanded the nigger to rape her in the first place.
I hope you're not one of those viking-worshiping Aspertru.
Get to know her more, if you build enough trust to allow her to take you on the trip then you could really impress her.
This is assuming you have long-term ambitions for her.
I'm going to be sound guy in a year and your story is my perfect fantasy aside from the mission trip.
But alas, how rare is a sight of a technologically literal woman?
Don't you have to go change your wife's half nigglet's diaper?
> christfags will never be enlightened by this-worldly thinking and outgrow the concept of god
> christfags will never form their own truths about life from the experience of living and experience the gratification of forming one's own individual morals, ideals and beliefs
ignorant fucks read a book or two that isn't the bible
Britain in 2015, everyone.
Truly a tolerant a multicultural society, free of hate.
More like Torah studies.
Why don't you think sex is allowable for pleasure?
Polygamy is allowed because it is better for a man to take a beautiful women in matrimony and have sex with her then to lust over having sex with her in thought.
Equally so, a women must always give her body up to a man, and the man's body equally to her.
Sex is pleasurable and this is well known and remarked upon in the Bible.
>form their own truths
truths are objective though
The fuck are you gonna do?
Drone me? We are untouchable. The media covers up our crimes, judges go soft on us and we have an army of white supporters who will stop you every time you try to oppose us
We will outnumber you and we will kill you.
Don't even think of converting. It was never about that. It's about the Arabs winning. Us true Muslims.
Europe will be Muslim. Then the world.
And the precious America will fall too.
I'm so excited thinking about it.
>Insulting one of my patron saints
>Christians don't get to have any primal pleasure in their sad lives
I'm not a Christian, but I look forward to removing kebab with them.
>mfw invited to a 7th day adventist church a few weeks ago.
>met a qt 3.14 violinist
>actually looked very similar to your pic
Should I go for it?
How crazy are adventists compared to baptists?
So if draw a generic cute anime girl that vaguely represents a religion or otherwise i'll get followers? Good to know.
>non procreational sex
Except that's wrong. You're allowed to fuck your wife whenever you want, which includes times in the cycle where she isn't ovulating. Birth control is the nono, at least among Catholics.
He beheads people now.
Pretty sweet revenge.
Not as good as being a Muslim and watching anyone who ever insulted you in hell.
I can't wait to mock all those burning motherfuckers in hell. Takbir
I use to fuck a guy's wife in front of him and sometimes alone and they were hardcore christians. I can't really remember the way they justified it theologically. It basically boiled down them wanting to do this and thinking of a way do it. Anyway, she was some super sweet pussy. I was on zoloft at the time and could fuck for hours without cumming and we did.
Nationalism and Christianity go hand and hand:
Jesus the Jewish Teacher(Rabbi is Hebrew word for Teacher) was teaching a group of Jews and he repeated the words 'Love your neighbor as yourself,' from the Torah(Old Testament). It was from when God the Father said to Moses and the Jewish people "'Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD(Leviticus 19:18).
The Liberals(tools of Satan and corrupters) have twisted this verse Jesus taught and spread lies about it.
>Look at Islamic state. Unstoppable
They can't even defeat the Kurds.
IS is an Israeli weapon to destabilize the Middle East. Why are Mudslimes such easy puppets of the Zionists
> drawing super cute anime girls for followers
> welcome to the survival of anime
not a chance
You're prophet fucks pigs infidel