>the year is 2030 >wake up at 7:00 am >my marriage equal

I can fap to this.

>>38724219
10/10

>"thanks mistxyr" as i pay him with a $4.20 bill

WHERE'S THE FUCKING TIP?

>>38724219
>not going underground with the Path Of Light militia

>>38724898
it's entering him right now as we speak

>>38724219

This is what conservitards actually, truly believe.

Get a brain, morans.

>pay with a $4.20 bill

is this a thing?

>>38724219
i'm literally going to write an sf based on this

100/10

>>38724219
>not becoming a transfat otherkin cisnigger to minimize your privilege exposure
I'd never go back to being white now that I only get visits from the privilege police every 4 days

>>38724219
>pay him with a $4.20 bill
This made me laugh more than anything

>>38724219
>she would be called my wife

check your pronouns

>>38725002
think about it

>2030
> Not already a law that males must sit down to piss

Please post more /pol/ related dystopia greentext stories

>>38725038
>Not the $1488 bill due to inevitable hyperinflation.

>>38724981
*tips hair dye*

File: xiyYx.jpg (13KB, 457x339px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 457x339px

>>38724921

>year 2014
>wake up to see another isis beheading on the news
>head off to my 5 hour workday, cut from 8
>come home and check the mail
>reminder to buy obamacare or pay a fine
>site is down most of the time
>when I get through I discover my new premiums
>at least I am covered for birth control
>get fired the next day because 5 million unskilled laborers are given amnesty
>I regret the day voting for the black man to prove I was not a racist and open to change

>>38725196
it was pretty openly satire

shitlord

>>38725461
>>reminder to buy obamacare or pay a fine
This is still a thing? even after the guy who created it called americans stupid?

>>38724219
>trans-black son is awake and so is his goatkin boyfriend
>boyfriend
>boy

STOP RAPING ME SHITLORD

>>38724349
Well done anon, I'm just glad it was the first comment

>>38724219
>the year 2050
>going for my castration cause feminist agenda
>while walking down the road, I see a boss and his worker
>the worker says, "give me $50000 for muh worker's rights"
>the boss says that's idiotic, cause the worker didn't do any work this week
>the worker threatens to call the worker unions to kill the boss
>boss reluctantly gives the money up
>afterwards, I had to check my privilege by 20 whips to myself for being a male
>a nigger rings my doorbell
>"yo homie, i need $20 for dat mary jane yo!"
>give it to him for slavery reparations
>be satisfied with this tolerance and progressive thinking

>>38725629
>called americans stupid?

Specifically he called all you illiterate, toothless, bible-thumping, gun-hugging, sister-fucking, tobacco-chewing, meth-shooting, Red State, Romney-voting country bumpkins stupid.

And he was correct.

>>38726119
No, he called all the American voters stupid

>>38726119
Specifically, Gruber was calling his own base stupid, for it's on them that they supported a deception.

That's still somewhat unfair, since that base wasn't provided with truthful information with which to decide , and were all but denied that in the admin-loyal press, but then again they are the sort to avoid and mock a critical press, and they who regularly put their trust in elites who lie to them again and again.

He does call people stupid before a supportive audience, so the inference is of course he doesn't mean them. That they would laugh shows they want to share in the elitism. But they're still the listeners, and he the speaker. Psychological tricks aside, he's mocking not the people who stood against Obamacare on the basis of their analysis of his deception, but the very people who are agreeing with him.

>>38726800
>No, he called all the American voters stupid
Is a misinformed public stupid of their own volition, or made stupid in order to victimize them?

http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-TV/2014/11/16/Silenced-CNBC-Reporter-I-Came-Forward-Because-CNBC-Helped-Gruber-Trick-Americans?amp

>>38727228
>breitbart

Pastebin that shit you clickbait shill fucktard

>>38724219
>>knock on the door
>>it's the government aid breakfast, as cooking our own breakfast is rude towards developing countries
kek

>>38727304
Just do a search for Melissa Francis, the CNBC reporter dishing her story.

File: article-2729055-20A3D29800000578-699_306x470.jpg (55KB, 306x470px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 306x470px

daily reminder that sometimes reality is stranger than fiction

>Love against all the odds: Lesbian Muslim couple from Iran tie the knot in Stockholm... and the delighted imam is gay too!
>Sahar Mosleh and Maryam Iranfar married in Swedish capital Stockholm
>Both were forced to flee Iran where gay people are given the death penalty
>The couple were married by Imam Ludovic Mohamed Zahed
>Imam Zahed who is Algerian but lives in South Africa is also gay


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2729055/Lesbian-Muslim-couple-Iran-tie-knot-Stockholm-delighted-imam-gay-too.html

File: holy shit.jpg (171KB, 685x899px) Image search: [Google]

171KB, 685x899px

>>38728017
>mfw when she is full preggo
>Sweden used to be the pinacle of sciences and forward thinking
>My people were subjects to swedish crown
>Everything went worse than expected

>>38726119
All this delusion

>>38724981
>This is what conservitards actually, truly believe.
>Get a brain, morans.

*nods respectfully*

File: white trash3.jpg (230KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

230KB, 1280x960px

>>38729722
Reruns of Duck Dynasty are on, cletus, run along and get off my /pol/.

File: 1409699266475s.jpg (3KB, 111x125px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 111x125px

>>38724219
>>door gets busted down
>>its the fucking privilege police

shat my self, screen cap this bitch

>>38729911
kek!

That kid looks like "I never signed up for this shit..."

File: thanks obama.gif (883KB, 320x180px) Image search: [Google]

883KB, 320x180px

>the year is 2015
>wake up at 7:00 am
>my wife divorced me two years ago so she's not around
>this happens to 50% of marriages btw
>socialist antifa son is awake and so is his multicultural socialist boyfriend (due to common core neither can do math)
>FBI agent watches us have breakfast using my webcam and listens in through our phone
>pizza guy shows up (who the fuck ordered pizza?)
>"thanks man" as I pay him with a $20 bill
>"what the fuck, check your privilege. I do not identify as a man!" he says
>get ready to work at CNN
>get to work, spend 8 hours editing audio tapes so they say the opposite of what actually happened
>work til 6 pm
>get home, see college-dropout daughter
>she makes no money and lives at home
>"Dad! I need a ride to the Occupy 2: Electric Boogaloo protest!"
>I drive my daughter to the protest and try to leave
>Car is surrounded by socialists who begin to smash the windows
>Suddenly, riot police force the socialists away from the vehicle
>I'm saved
>Wait what the fuck
>the riot police drag me from the vehicle and beat the shit out of me
>as they are dragging me to a cop car, I see a tank roll up and hear loudspeakers condemning the terroristic acts of the crowd
>mfw

File: thumbs-guns-terminator.jpg (32KB, 500x406px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 500x406px

>>38724219
>10/10
>deserves Hall of Fame

>>38730376
10/10

>>38729911
>my /pol/
>my

>>38730376
> 2015
>Common core
How many years of not common core math did he have before common core disabled his maths?

File: 1368171872488A.png (31KB, 874x748px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 874x748px

>>38728017
The most Swedish thing I've ever seen

glen beck is homosexual.

>>38730726
Ur mom is homersexual LOLOLOAOALKSAVSDSFKYC SFhfvsxbncfgyjdfcbcbn

>>38728017
damn nasty i bet the wheeled one has a stanky snatch id love to sniff it after a long day of riding around

>>38724219
>>door gets busted down
So the police officers were guys?

File: 1414522159141.png (376KB, 333x500px) Image search: [Google]

376KB, 333x500px

>>38730917

>>38731033
All officers get surgically attached Kangaroo legs.

File: HhT58ha.jpg (7KB, 167x144px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 167x144px

>>38725754
>comment

>>38729964
Can you imagine what a cosmic gyp it would be to be born into a backwards, illiterate, GOP-voting family like that?

>>38730469
Fucking-A right, MY /POL/!

>>38730607
probably one month

Somehow Harvard students have already been common cored

>2019
>watching tv, a news report shows a house getting raided where authorities believe a cis white family might be living
>hear my wife and daughter fucking their strong African-American boyfriend upstairs
>decide it's time to go to bed
>next day, I continue looking for a job (been unemployed ever since High Priestess Michelle Obama took office in 2017 and granted citizenship to everyone on Earth)
>find an online job posting for a position as a firefighter
>requirements: minimum 15 years experience and a bachelor's degree in jumping over fire
>apply anyway because 4chan told me that was only an HR tactic for "weeding out unambitious people"
>seconds later, my front door goes flying open and the privilege police rush in, knocking over my shelf full of Xbox One games
>it falls over
>nothing falls out
>I get arrested because applying for work is sexist
>mfw

I'm with >>38725138

Probably /pol/'s best genre.

>>38731990
Gas yourself.

>>38732067
>Fucking-A right, MY /POL/!
It will never be your /pol/ libshit. The best you can hope for is to be a well replied to troll

>>38732237

This sounds like Neofag's wet dream

>>38731990

>leftists think they own /pol/

I'm laughing for real right now

File: 1415156309277.jpg (18KB, 460x276px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 460x276px

>>38732237

>seconds later, my front door goes flying open and the privilege police rush in, knocking over my shelf full of Xbox One games
>it falls over
>nothing falls out

>>38732960
>responding to the wrong post

Yup, it's another tech illiterate rightist turd spouting off about something he'll never be able to understand just like his Messiah Ted "The Canuck" Cruz

>>38725715
>not goyfriend

>2026
>wake up
>take special care to clean my government installed vagina (being born as a white man with a rapestick attached between your legs is illegal)
>it is Monday, ie. vagina inspection day
>report to inspection center
>pass with flying colors
>move onto the equality station (daily requirement)
>continue to be penetrated by a Person Of Dark Skin American for 30 minutes
>waddle to the ration station
>pick up my government approved "white male meal package", ie. lettuce, crackers, and estrogen enhancer
>protein and testosterone are banned
>waddle to the mosque for mandatory allah praising
>after, i decide to go to the airport to welcome the new immigrants while snacking on my lettuce
>it's been an average, although tiring day, I should go back to my government approved housing unit
>on the way back I am confronted by a Person Of Dark Skin American
>he aims his baby-killing-rape-enforcer in my face (banned for white cis scum)
>I hand him my possessions and bend over, ready to submit for another 30 minutes of equality
>waddle home
>what a great day

>>38724219

H-Hillary 2016?

>>38728017
After reading this, I'm not sure now whether I'm dreaming or if this is reality. MFW those Swedes standing there clapping

>The year is 2020
>Wake up, kiss my wife, and turn on the tv while she goes downstairs to cook breakfast
>Nothing but wholesome, non-degenerate shows
>Local news reports Israel has ceased to exist as a state and Arab forces are pouring over the border
>Go downstairs, hug all three children, eat a healthy, delicious breakfast
>Children go off to school to learn critical thinking, independent thought, and valuable life skills like math, science, and history
>Wife kisses me goodbye and stays at home to clean house
>I head off for work
>Earn enough money to singlehandedly support a family of five in a career that is fulfilling and contributes to society
>Return home
>Oldest son wants to go hunting this weekend
>Youngest son needs help with his literature homework; his Latin is rusty
>Daughter shows off the new dress she sewed for herself in home ec class
>Wife announces dinner is served
>Read newspaper after dinner, see that crime is still at an all-time low and the economy is booming
>I was skeptical at first, but purging the nation of niggers, Jews, and Mexicans has worked out pretty well after all

File: 1348712233561.jpg (55KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 300x300px

>>38737970
>it will never be like this

>Morning, 2064
>Emerge from my Estrogen Based Sleep and Reeducation Pod
>Servbot places my testicles immediately into a clamp to keep me from committing rape, though I was sterilized at birth and all my semen is sent directly through biotubes to our god emperor shillary clitton long may she reign
>Crumple onto the floor and roll outside my house because walking is ableist
>Reach the first gender-checkpoint
>Polygendered pansexual omnifluid otherkin spirit-democrat bibeefcake identifying with the name "Pocacuntus" stamps my privilege passport
>Immediately calls the police to report my homophobia, I was lying with my spine too straight on the floor
>Taken to an underground facility where I have to make plastic casts of vaginas and wear them as necklaces to advertise my obedience
>Establishment takes kindly to me and decides to have me ejected out of a plane into Detroit, where the citizens of Africa 2 can rape and eat me as part of their bi-daily diversity festivals
>Tell my superior officer that I'm too young to die
>Shoots me in the head for being ageist

>>38737055

grill got nice yummy thighs

10/10 would rape

File: 1393495165199.jpg (106KB, 610x475px) Image search: [Google]

106KB, 610x475px

>>38737970

Why would you do that bro. Why would you remind us of how far we have fallen.

>>38738342
>"Pocacuntus"
Oh lawd my sides.

>wake up in the shyear 2050
>I head into the bathroom
>forced to not brush so I can check my dental privilege
> I head out paying slavery reparations and child support to random strangers
> I keep doing so until I head into the library
> I try to go in, but libraries are made illegal because they mansplain.
>I try to go home but I get robbed by 6 dindu nuffin urban youths
>try to go to the police
>they tell me to check my privilege and rape me repeatedly
>afterwards I go home, watching the mandatory womyn's history and gender studies program
>I drink my vagisil and eat my non phallic hotdogs
>some womyn break in my house
> they brought along the police and claimed I raped them
> they win because if I talked I'm literally spreading misogyny
>I lose my house
>I'm living in the streets next to a random xyz transfat otherkin
>I live off the land
> I'm still oppressing everyone because I'm self sufficient
>I get the electric hair salon
>I checked my privilege that day

File: 1412234480133.png (10KB, 211x246px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 211x246px

>>38724219
Why do all of these stories end with unwanted anal insertions?

Literally every one

>>38739163
Because we are headed into a dark dark tunnel. Where we may never come out.

File: tmp_23204-1392165407227-839992816.jpg (28KB, 309x400px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 309x400px

>the year 2030
>I'm living with my spouse
> girlfriend is now a banned word under the dragonkin revolution of 2015 thanks to the feministry of truth
>sxhe wants to have sex
>she forces me to suck her feminine penis
>she cums with the great force of the patriarchy
>sxhe have to sign a notary saying the sex was consensual or I spend my life in the privilege camps
>we have get our sonaughter ready to school
>his uniform is to not wear clothes because clothes oppress women
>my spouse fixes up his lunch
>non phallic fruit and a veggie sandwich
>Michelle baboona made it illegal to eat meat or gluten, everyone's diet is determined by cosmo magazine
>she gives him some breast milk and puts a estrogen pill inside
>spouse kisses sonaughter and tells him not to be late for the privilege bus
>he goes learning how to not rape and how to action affirmatively
> math history English and science are outlawed because of all the cis white mansplaining
>I go onto my work picking up shit on the street because of the great transgender bathroom court case of 2018
>mfw I'm a literal shitlord

File: 1414099879567.png (531KB, 497x732px) Image search: [Google]

531KB, 497x732px

>>38732237
>seconds later, my front door goes flying open and the privilege police rush in, knocking over my shelf full of Xbox One games
>it falls over
>nothing falls out

>>38739163
Who says that they're unwanted?

>2017
>One year after Judgement Day
>I leave the bunker to harvest some vegetables from my secret garden
>I notice smoke in the distance
>On arrival I duck under cover as I watch a group of feral womyn pull out my carrots and corn and burn them. I assume its because they find them phallic in some way.
>Shit! I deepen my cover as a advertiser bot flies overhead. It's advertising a new show on Anita's television network.
>One of the womyn stop and peer around like a doe checking for predators. You can see her nose twitch.
>Fuck, it's a hybrid hyper femminist. She shouts "I SMELL MISOGYNY!" and points in my direction
>I begin to run. If I can make it back to the bunker I'll be safe.
>One of the womyn toss her Hillary Clinton brand men stompers at me.
>I trip and try to gather myself and keep going
>I see more womyn ahead of me, they must of heard the call
>I stop, frozen in fear, surrounded.
>They entrap me

>I awaken in a hospital, the pictures of head bitch Hillary Clinton plastered on the walls
>I feel... so sore...
>I reach down to find my testicles missing... wait... thats a vagina!
>In a panic I try to reach further but my arms are restrained to the bed
>this cant be real!
>A nurse walks in, rolling a cart with something on it. It's obscured by a sheet
>The nurse smirks and takes the sheet off
>"Here's your patriarchy!" she shouts
>My testicles.. in a... BLENDER!
>I struggle as she cackles and hits the puree button
>I scream and faint from my post surgery blood pressure drop

>I awaken in a dark room a small light illuminates the corner of a desk. I head computers running and indicator lights blinking in the darkness.
>it feels like i'm wearing a helmet. I am again, restrained, this time tighter.
>suddenly a clipboard slams down, the light shines over the documents it holds
>The paper reads "Procedure 8234551-B7 Matriarchy Brainwave Realignment"
>I hear a keyboard clicking away and machines engage
>Sharp burning pain enters my skull
>Darkness again

>>38733459
Settle down. You're trying too hard.

File: image.jpg (460KB, 1066x1600px) Image search: [Google]

460KB, 1066x1600px

The poisoning of the mind,
Scattered upon by an external force,
Will lead one to be blind,
To ignore any logic without remorse.

The ideals that one man appointed,
Soon encapsulated countless others,
And said man quickly became The Anointed,
And for these ideals they defied their mothers.

They materialized their foe,
The harbinger of hell was him,
The demon whom ignored their woe,
To have such existence seemed grim.

Their motives were taut,
In their disheveled minds it was just,
The thought of surrender was naught,
And for supposed freedom did they lust.

So eventually victory was achieved,
And the irony was not anticipated,
And they did not want to realize their logic was misconceived,
The evolving to the subjugators from the subjugated.

These newly appointed oppressors,
Those masked beneath the sly guise,
Behold no traits of their successors,
Those whom reveled in the traditional franchise.

>>38725461
Wow, all that reality. That was fucking depressing.

File: 077_downloading.jpg (83KB, 371x500px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 371x500px

>2017
>go out to rent a movie
>put on my "i know and I'm sorry" T-shirt
>put on my high-heels running shoes
>put on my make up, it's Sunday so to save time I'm only putting on absolute minimum required by local laws and not federal

laws
>(taking a chance like that is kinda of a rush, feel like a bad boy,
>so I drink extra estrogen soda as to not set of testosterone level alarm in butt-plug)
>go to Blockbuster
>takes a while, but eventually i build up courage to go to dirty CIS section in the back
>see another white male there
>panic!
>tries to avid eye contact but to late
>our eyes meet and by pure dumb animal instinct we send each other look of approval
>security camera spots us and alarm goes of
>last i remember was the burn of tear gas in eyes
>wake up at Guantanamo bay
>accused of old male-network terrorism
>my testicles hang above the door in my cage
>so i will never forget to check my cis privilege again

>>38730376
>Occupy 2: Electric Boogaloo
Lost it

File: 1414551554233.jpg (45KB, 634x650px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 634x650px

>>38738775
>>I drink my vagisil and eat my non phallic hotdogs

File: tears in the rain.gif (233KB, 500x275px) Image search: [Google]

233KB, 500x275px

>>38737970
I can dream can't I.

Dreams live forever.

>>38742641
>Blockbuster
Pretty realistic until it got to there.

File: 1409702319880.jpg (15KB, 253x256px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 253x256px

>2022
>elections have just been indefinitely suspended for being a method of patriarchy
>new matriarch takes the throne of the United Diverse States of America
>be me
>be cis gay white male
>drinking coffee from plastic mug with extra estrogen because ceramic is patriarchal
>look at clock
>ohshit.jpg
>late for my job as a clerk
>get dressed
>run to work
>get there just before clock-in
>start ringing people up
>fat bitch starts flirting with me
>try to ignore it
>she gets pissy
>tell her I'm gay
>she calls me a misogynist for not being attracted to womyn
>I get the shit kicked out of me by her butch tranny friend
>they smash up the shop I worked in
>cops show up
>they tell them it was in self defense because I tried to rape them
>get beat up by the cops
>thrown in jail
>mfw

The world is going to be a dark dark place in the next 20 years.

I need to move to mars or something

>>38724219
Thanks for this OP. Was having a shitty day but you but a smile on me face

File: obama-michelle-man.jpg (71KB, 500x564px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 500x564px

>>38732237
I believe you mean High Priestess Michael Obama

>>38724219
>2004
>launch spacecraft into an orbit that enables it to chase Earth around the Sun for about a year
>one year later use Earth's gravity to help launch craft towards Mars
>two years later, use gravity assist from close flyby of Mars to launch craft back to Earth and then use Earth's gravity to help launch craft past Mars' orbit and reach asteroid belt for some data collection
>two years after that, use Earth's gravity to once again assist propulsion towards asteroid belt

>flash forward

>2014
>Spacecraft fires its engine to position itself next to comet as it comes hurtling by
>release secondary craft for a controlled soft landing on the comet
>celebrate landing with fellow scientists and other friends
>drinks abound
>get interview on major news networks
>Decide to wear new favorite shirt from friend, made specifically to celebrate this momentous occasion

>fem police note female figures on shirt
>proceed to publicly humiliate me
>force me to apologize for wearing my shirt
>cry on national television
>jerk off into shirt later

File: image.jpg (71KB, 640x960px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 640x960px

>>38724921
Kek

>>38728017
>711

Fuckin wot