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Need the best seat cleaner money can buy

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 210
Thread images: 53

Long story short I my back seat is covered in blood and shit, and need to get the seat cleaned.

I need the best cleaner I can get, the incident was just a few days ago so everything is mostly dried.

Thanks.
>>
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>>10834961
>Long story short I my back seat is covered in blood and shit


Full story please.
>>
shit as in fecal matter?

what the fuck went on
>>
What material foo? Cloth? Leather?
>>
What's your favorite vegetable?
>>
>>10834977
I don't know if I'm legally allowed honestly.

>>10834980
Its a long story but it was all a missunderstanding on the cops part. I don't blame them though it was a weird situation. Lucky for me they talked to my gf at the hospital and all ended well.

Is there anything that can take stains like that out of fabric?
>>
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this thread
>>
>>10835000
You can tell us its cool just spill the goods and we will help you out. Not helping until you do.
>>
>>10835000
You can't just leave us hanging here you newtrip faggot
>>
EITHER TELL US OP or find out on your own.
>>
>>10835000
taking bets?
my guess
>op choke-fucked his GF and she passed out
>he bundled her in the back seat and took off for hospital
>pulled over for speeding
>gets shot by cops for having dead girl in backseat
>amberlamps comes, she not dead, he not dead, hospital
>erryone lives, no jail, car a mess

how close am i OP?
>>
>>10834961
So, are these stains from a call-girl?
>>
>>10835019
Ok but its kind of emberassing. I'll give you guys a quick version but I need a product suggestion after please guys.

>me and gf having sex in the car
>decide to do anal
>pumping away she starts to get cramps
>continue only for a few minutes and she screams
>look down and shes really going crazy freaking out. Shes crying and screaming.
>look down and there is blood and shit coming out of her vagina. Yes real shit too.
>panic and dont know what to do, there is a tap at the window.
>someone heard her screaming and came over, saying they are calling the police and they have my license plate
>jump into the front and peel out of there, taking gf to hospital
>she stays over night.
>cops are at my house in the morning
>ask to see the car, see blood and shit in car, want to arrest me
>get cops to call hospital and confirm my story
>almost arrested for murder

Turned out my gf got something called a fisher, where the wall between her rectum and her vagina ruptured and blood and shit was falling out of her vagina. It was probably the worst 2 days of my life.
>>
>>10835037
I'll take a swing
>OP fucking his GF on her period
>WOOP WOOP
>Cops pull up to lay the crackdown on OP and his underaged ass
>OP shits himself out of fear/confusion
>Girl has a panic attack
>>
>>10835045
hahahahahaha. Oh my god.

10/10

Someone save this shit.
>>
>>10835045
>>>the wall between her rectum and her vagina ruptured and blood and shit was falling out of her vagina.
anal.
not even once.
>>
>>10835045
>fisher
haha, it's fissure.
>literacy in america
>>
>>10835037
Close

>>10835046
Kinda close

But do you guys know what can get this stuff out? Oxyclean isn't working well.
>>
>>10835045
>fisher

Are you fucking 13?
>>
>>10835045
use this

https://www.turtlewax.com/shop/products/turtle-wax-oxy-power-out-carpet-cleaner-18-fl-oz-
>>
>>10835045
>>
>>10835049
Its kinda funny I can see from your perspective but you have to remember that Ithought I almost killed my gf it was tramatic.

Mom is already saying I cant use her car again. Hopfully if I can clean it out she'll let me drive it again someday.
>>
>>10835056

What color are the seats? Leather?

I hear water+vinegar+dawn dish soap gets most of anything out

If you don't care about discoloration I'd just pour bleach on everything
>>
>>10835045
http://www.wikihow.com/Remove-Dried-Blood-Stains-from-Fabric
>>
>>10835067
>her car

This gets better and better
>>
>>10835067
SWEET FUCK IT WAS IN YOUR MOMS CAR TOO LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
>>10835067

>mom's car

TOP FUCKING KEK
>>
>>10835067
>mom's car
top kek. I can only imagine how you explained this to her.
>>
>>10835045
>fisher
I think you mean 'fissure'. She probably had at least as bad a time as you.
>>
>>10835045
Your dick causes not only a sigmoid perforation, but a full-on fistula?

What the fucking fuck.
>>
OP,
one time i was pumping my ex's ass real good. She had asked for anal and of course i had always loved the rare occasion when she let me in there, but this was the first time she asked me for it.
Anyways, im getting in there real nice and i start seeing like green-ish stuff on my dick. Like you know, surreal cuz her ass was white and pale from no tanning in winter. So there's this white dick into white ass and green stuff starts appearing with every stroke, a lot of contrast. I give it about 4-5 pumps until im like
>"hey i think youre pooping on me"
so i pull out and sure enough i have like fucking grass on my dick (she was a veterinarian) and it smells like shit (ya know because it is). So shes like
>"omg! im so sorry"
I run to the bathroom and wash my dick off. Bathe it in soap and germx.
>"im so embarrassed"
of course she wouldn't let me fuck her again that day ;(


So OP
try germx and soap

Or tuffstuff
>>
>>10835073
Thanks for the link.

>>10835070
They are just a light tan color, I want to say 99? corolla.

>>10835077
>>10835082
>>10835082
>>10835075
Yes it was my moms car. She made me have this long talk to her, I had to tell her everything. She knows now that her car is the only place my gf and I have sex in, and thats whats really making her mad. Plus she is uptight so shes giving me a hard time over the whole anal thing, asking if I'm gay and stuff. I don't know what to do. Thinking about buying her flowers or something to say sorry I don't know.

>>10835091
Ya shes in the hospital now and I don't know when shes getting out. I doub't I'll ever do anything with her like that again. The doctor said it was something thats hard to fix.
>>
>>10835045
>rupture girls ass
>don't even stay overnight with her in the hospital

Damn Op, you one cold nigga
>>
>>10835116
>her car is the only place my gf and I have sex in

Ok OP, how underaged B& are you?
>>
>>10835112
Ok I'll look into this too, thanks.

>>10835126
Well she was all medicated and out of it, plus she was going into surgery. Her parents were there and they were really mad. My mom was mad at me too, but I'm lucky she was there because my gf father wanted to kill me.
>>
>>10835112
>veterinarian
vegetarian lol
>>
>>10835139
>my gf father wanted to kill me.

lel.

All my exes dad's wanted to kill my too and I didn't assfuck their daughter into the hospital.
>>
>>10835132
I turned 18 last month but I don't make very much money at gamestop.

I just don't even know what to say the whole thing was really tramatic. Like my nerves are screwed up I think I might have post tramatic stress or something.
>>
>>10835045
The only thing that could make this more perfect is if your precum got through the fissure and got her pregnant at the same time.
>>
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>>10835045
>mfw
>>
>>10835166
That can't happen can it? I'm worried now because for anal we never use a condom.
>>
>>10835149
lol
you'll be fine. This will be hilarious to you in a few years. Hopefully you can make it up to the girl. She is way more screwed than you are. You got off pretty easy.

you definitely don't have PTSD
>>
>be bi
>see this thread
>was going to go get fucked tonight
>now I'm staying home

T-thanks OP
>>
>>10835174
everything is relative.
>>
>>10835116
>are you gay?
>n-no, here's some flowers to prove it
What

>tfw not killing my girlfriend
>tfw she loves anal
>>
>>10835174
go buy her the 72 hour later pill
that way you're sure
>>
http://4archive.org/o/thread/10834961
>>
>>10835045
0-equinox-tier tripfag in one thread. Not bad OP, now you're /o/ famous forever.
>>
>>10835174
Yes it can happen. Bodys are weird, shit can happen.

This one time I hired a call girl with a glass eye, she asked me if I wanted her to take the glass eye out and I could have sex with her eye socket. Never heard of this before so I said sure, and it was really awesome. I finished in her eye socket, in her fucking head. And she opened her mouth and my load was in it. My load traveled through her skull and ended up in her mouth.

So yes, it can happen.
>>
>>10835174
Oh it technically can. Odds aren't great though, even worse given the context.
>>
>>10835176
>being bi
>being bottom

just admit that you are full homo
>>
>>10835166
>sperm in precum
the state of education in america.
>>
>>10834961
sounds like birth in back seat
Light bleach op
>>
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>>10835198
This fucking thread
>>
>>10835198
What the fuck is that a real story?!
>>
>>10835201
Why do faggots think there's no such thing as an actual bisexual?

We aren't confused, we aren't desperate for attention, we fully appreciate each end of both genders, hairy, soft, breasts, cock, all of it.
>>
>>10835000
kek yeah, suing the cops for shooting your gf
>>
>>10835207
There is though you tard
>>
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saved for the posterity
>>
>>10835045
What kind of car is it? We need an answer for

>>10831890
>>
>>10835201
>>10835217
But I like girls and girly guys. But anal feels nice every now and then.
>>
>>10835199
Ok.

Well I'm sorry for getting this whole thing off topic, I'll try a few thing and try and make things right with my mom.

>>10835209
Won't the bleach ruin the seats? I'll try that if it'll work, does it need to be watered out?
>>
>>10835045
>I fucked a girl so hard she split in two
>>
>>10835227
See
>>10835116
>>
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>>10835239
Bleach will ruin the seats if you leave it in.

Are they cloth?

Start by removing the seat cushions and scrubbing them with water and normal soap. That should get most of the shit out.

Then move on to more drastic measures, there are plenty of chemicals good for blood.

Finishing with a good baking soda scrub should remove the smells.

Seriusly though, what car?
>>
>>10835239

1 tablespoon per gallon of water

I'd do 2, but then it'll run the risk of fucking the colors up

Best option yet, go replace the carpet and seats with ones from picknpull
>>
>>10835244
Thanks
>>
>>10835222
except there's not, unless you recently jizzed and didn't pee in between.
>>
Next time someone says they're gonna tear me a new asshole I'll actually be afraid.
>>
>>10835255
Thanks, its a corolla.

>>10835260
Never even considered just getting new seats, thats a really good idea.
>>
>>10835272
Except there are low amounts regardless. It varies from person to person.

Have fun with your unwanted pregnancy
>>
>>10835281
mate, there's not.
>>
>>10835045
TOP KEK
O
P

K
E
K
>>
Thanks for all the help guys will check back and let you know what happened. I'll also be smoothing things out with mom, so hopfully I can get to driving again.
>>
>>10835281
>>10835299
Why dont you just google this
>>
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>>10835341
>Google "how to clean bood and shit out of my car"
>Get pic related
>>
>>10835341
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3564677/
>>
>>10835357
Not that, what they're arguing about
>>
Jesus, this board. We've got mexicans dying under cars and now this? Never change, /o/.
>>
>>10835345
Why was this post deleted?

Is he doing it for free again?
>>
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>>10835345
>>
>>10835281
I think the low amounts are left over from cumming previously. Precum itself has no sperm AFAIK.
>>
>>10835369
>>10835378
>>
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itt: everybody is gettin deleted
>>
>>10835428
>/o/ times weekly: janitor deletes posts out of anger from no daily hot pocket
>>
>>10835428
/pol/ here
oy vey, Its like another shoa!
>>
>>10835428

They all do it for free. Even the delivery drivers on here live more productive lives than these janitors. The janitor himself is probably gayer than a rainbow shooting out of Perez Hilton's ass.
>>
>>10835442
Maybe he saved that post all for himself to jack off to later.

I guess we'll know when 3 minutes from now some anon posts asking for tips on how to clean jizz out of their mazda shitbox seats.
>>
>>10835387
I'm the fudge packer you were referring to. I think we can all agree that the janitor is even more of a fag than me.

Shit, he even does it for free. At least the two guys I fuck around with buy me shit from time to time.

And for the benefit of said janitorial hero; mustangs, veyrons, miatas. There, now my post is auto-related you fucking queer.
>>
>>10834961
>met gril at bar
>go to car for sex
>both wasted
>says shes on her period, anal only
>pull out and she sharts

rented a steams cleaner from the grocery store
>>
>>10835045
What the fuck? This can happen? Can this happen the opposite way, causing you to be born out of the asshole instead of the vagina?
>>
>>10835507
>What the fuck? This can happen?
Yes

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rectovaginal_fistula
>>
>>10835507
No. The fissure wouldn't be large enough, and the anal sphincter far too tight. In the worst case scenario, the perineum would be destroyed, but a baby could never be born out of a woman's anus.
>>
>>10835521
>anal sphincter is far too tight

You sir, haven't seen nearly enough anuses.
>>
>>10835530
He must be thinking of girls who never have the thought "Im on my period so we'd better do anal"
>>
What the fuck did I just read and why did I enjoy it?
>>
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>mfw this thread
>>
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>>10835045
saved for posterity
>>
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>>10835045
hahaha what


hahahahahahaha
>>
Best /o/ thread of the year. Possibly greatest /o/ thread of all time.
>>
/o/, mever chsnge
>>
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>>10835045
the car is ruined
>>
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This Fucking thread
>>
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>mfw this entire thread
>>
Anybody got a screengrab of putting them all together?
The eyeball story, OP's 2 posts about how he told his mom and what happened with a few other posts also included, for posterity of course.
>>
Lots of lexol, op
>>
>>10835882
something like this >>10835723 ?
>>
>>10835896
Yea, but with the story of the other dude skull-fucking some girl with a glass eye
>>
>>10835367
sauce on dying Mexicans
>>
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>>10835045
>>
>>10835045
>my girlfriend had a hole rip through her ass to her vagina
>my life is so hard
>>
>>10835882
>>10835764
>>
If it's fabric, get a rug doctor.
>>
>>10835045

Fissure* you daft twat.

>its okay, ive destroyed a butthole or two so i know the term.
>>
this is 100% a troll thread. y'all are retarded as fuck.
This is just as bad as the guy that said he shit on his backseat because he locked himself in his car while jerking it to anime.
>>
>>10835045
not enough lube/ too fast m8
>>
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>>10835045
>>
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>>10835764
upgraded version
>>
>>10835198

top lel
>>
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Your guys' caps suck so i made one.
>>
Fuck you OP you stealing my story and changin it. Not cool.

>I'm the guy who shat on his back seat while locked I thecar watching anime
>>
>>10835946
Yeah but I don't steal people's troll stories uleh
>>
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>>10835045

>fisher
>>
>>10835045
>decide to do anal
>Turned out my gf got something called a fisher, where the wall between her rectum and her vagina ruptured

That's why the vagina exists, OP. The anus was never meant to be a two-way street.
>>
>>10836110
lol funny, thats how my gf describes anal.
Like a turd going backwards.

Anyways guess i'm lucky to be with a girl that likes it in the ass.

Honestly guys, use lube and ease it in and start slow.
it ain't rocket surgery.
>>
>>10836030

oh god, i still have a hard time believing that one.
>>
>>10836030
>>10836148
Politely requesting sauce on this story
>>
>>10836148
It didn't happen bro. I was having some fun.

>neet
>ford escort
>dumb enough to lock yourself in car
>>
>>10835198
jesus this thread doesn't stop delivering
>>
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>>10835045
>>
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>>10835198
>>10835045
Holy shit
>>
take a picture so we can see how bad it is
>>
>>10836254
This. I don't believe until i see the stains.
>>
>>10835215
Well your sinuses are just behind the eye and do drain into your nose and mouth.

Though I would be skeptical just for the fact that she let him cum inside her, "call girls" typically are condom only.
>>
>>10836276
He probably was too embarassed to say crack whore
>>
>>10836271
>>10836254
Shits just made up anyway.

Also stop being a dirty mother trucker and fucking a grills anus. Bad things can only happen.
>>
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>>10835045
>fisher
>>
>>10835198
google "cumming in eye socket"
find video of girl taking out glass eye
couldn't do it
>>
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>>10835045
>fisher
>>
Can we get this thread stickied?
This is the most that's happened on /o/ in a long while
>>
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Never had I hoped to see a thread with this much gold on /o/ but somehow, some way here is a golden thread from a shitstained board
>>
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toasting in epic bread
>>
>>10836415
I was expecting eye socket sex
You disappoint me
>>
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>>10835045
>>
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>>10835045
best thread is best
>>
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>>10835045
>>
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>>10835045
>>
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>>10835045
>>
>>10835045
>called a fisher
i could have almost believed it, then this. pretty good troll, tripqueer.
>>
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This is a pretty common thing op, at least for me. Best thing to do is take a blender and combine 1 cup of baking soda, 1 cup of water, and 3 black ice trees. It'll become a watery paste - brush it into the seat and then use a power buffer on it.

Should clean right up.
>>
>>10836762
>This is a pretty common thing op, at least for me.

do you destroy girl's anuses very often?
>>
>>10836774
you don't?
>>
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>>10836778
n-no
>>
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>>10835045
>fisher
Fucking dying.
>>
>>10836134
>Like a turd going backwards.
as a homosexual man, this is not how anal feels at all.
>>
>>10835116
>anal sex with a girl
>u gay son?
your mother is interesting.
>>
>>10835045
Ahahahahaha late to the thread but would read again
>>
>>10836159
>>10836148
He admitted he made the whole thing up. basically something along the lines of

>I was watching anime in my car because I steal my neighbors wifi (or something, I forget why he said he was in his car)
>I had to shit really bad, but the car was locked
>the car doesn't unlock from the inside because of shitty aftermarket keyless entry
>so I took a dump on the back seat
>I need to get the shit stains out of my back seat because I'm picking up my sister and her friend, and I really want to fuck her friend
>>
>>10835056
>backseat sex in the backseat

Nigga, never do anal in a place you can't clean up easily. At least prepare for it with lube.
>>
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>this thread
>>
>Thread is now nothing but people posting a reaction image and saying "this thread."

Thread over, everyone. It was a good run.
>>
>>10837194
you're late, faggot
get lost
>>
Archived here

http://4archive.org/o/thread/10834961

You're welcome
>>
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>>
>>10837517
Every thread is automatically archived on multiple sites.

http://archiveteam.org/index.php?title=4chan#Fuuka-based_Archivers
>>
>>10836740
The doctor probably said 'fissure'.
>>
Well fuck.
>>
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>>10835147
>assfuck their daughter into the hospital
>>
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>>10835045
>fisher
>>
>>10835176
'Bi' only applies to the one who is lancing both chicks and dudes. The receiver is either gay or straight.
>>
>>10840043
what? how dense are you?
Bi means attracted to both men and women. that's it.
and for the record, straight guys can like receiving butt stuff, and as long as the balls don't touch, it aint gay.
>>
>>10840047
Real life isn't /b/, its pretty gay
>>
File: tripfag tryouts.gif (2MB, 250x187px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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every newtrip needs a gimmick
I give you two months kid
>>
>>10840047
Whatever you say, homo.
>>
>tfw I was the first person to reply in this thread

I feel like I witnesses history first hand
>>
>>10840058
is cvpi professor frink?
>>
>>10840058
Oh I've been around a lot longer than that. I'll allow a few guesses and then I'll reveal who I actually am.

>using the spelling fisher should have been a clue...fish...bait
>>
>>10840666
protip, no one cares.
>>
>>10840788
>puts on sleuth cap

We're gonna solve a mystery Layton, WHAT FUN!
>>
>>10840666
>inb4 it's steering_couplers
>inb4 it was a hotwheel and not your dick
>>
>>10835923
The kid who was working under his lexus and the jack gave way.
>>
>>10840892
Wrong
>>10841007
Wrong

I wanted to give /o/ a gift. Everyday is the same old threads, thought as I've taken an extensive break from /o/, that I could give back some fun if only for a few hours.
>>
>>10835000
>legal allowed
But you're anonymous.
>tripfag
>fag
>OP
OP=FAG
>>
>>10841282
I'm thinking due to the negative feedback I'll just have to keep this little secret a mystery.

Now you'll never figure it out. It will eat at your very soul until the day you die. On your death bed you'll wonder "who was Benjamin Boing?" and you'll never know now. You did this to yourself, allow the question to start eatting at you....now.
>>
>>10841312
Nobody cares
>>
>>10841312
It was me
>>
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>>10841347
sick post time m8

>>10841363
no it was me
>>
>>10835000

Oh. You posted this before.

He fucked his girlfriend in the ass in his backseat. It opened a fistula into her vagina and she started shitting out her cunt. She screamed like a banshee, someone called the cops. OP races to the hospital and leaves her there. Cops track down OP and nearly arrest him until they call the hospital to confirm.
>>
>>10841347
>>10841363
>>10841389
>>10841404
No.

Bwahahahaha you'll never know.

Think about that for a minute. Something you will never, ever know. Doesn't that bother you? This entity you've been conversing with, this story you've invested in, all for nothing because you'll never figure it out.
>>
>>10841424
there are millions of people i will never meet because they died before i was born.
not know who you are bothers me less than this fact.
>>
>>10841424
This is some of the dullest shit mister rusemangler
>>
>>10841454
I can feel the frustration in the post. It truly is glorious.
>>
not as good as when stumpmeister general revealed he used to bone a girl with no arms or legs
>>
massive damage control going on in here?
>>
>>10835045
utmost of keks
>>
>>10841498
Fuck off lpg you faggot
>>
>>10841363

No, I'm Spartacus.
>>
>>10841819

>not liking LPG

he's one of like three useful tripfags.
>>
>>10835045
I'm not sure if I should be laughing, or terrified. I think a bit of both.

Guess i probably won't be trying anal any time soon. GF would never forgive me if she started shitting out of her vagoo.
>>
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okay i am probably late
>>
>>10835045
posting in epic bread and saving...
>>
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>>10835045
>fisher
>>
>>10835067
holy shit this shit gets better and better
>>
>>10835045
is this real life? wtf man...i'd use fire. lots of fire
>>
>>10842821
fuck off with the memes
>>
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>>10835198
F U C K
>>
>>10841424
Its not ebola is it?
>>
>>10835045
>>10835067
I'm so sorry OP. I'm dying of laughter.
Thread posts: 210
Thread images: 53


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