sup /o/, with the absence of stories that LPG has left in all our hearts I thought I would take a crack at posting some of my own stories.
As a bit of a background, I'm a part of the management team at a very high end dealership (we sell Ferrari's, Astons, Porsche's you name it)
However we carry some real pieces of shit in the back of the lot that we get as trade-ins from either here or our other dealerships, and that's where the majority of the fucktards we deal with come from.
We never post the ads directly on our site, and try to get rid of them by any means possible (auction, wholesale, classifieds even)
Here is one story I wrote up, I'm not as creative of a writer as LPG so I apologize but I hope you guys enjoy anyways.
>having a slow day, went up to the Auction house to pick up cheques for some cars we sold
>come back and run into our oldest salesman (he’s 80, terrible memory forgot my name for 6-months)
>he’s hysterically trying to find a Porsche Cayenne we have for sale
>the one he’s looking for is a vehicle we sent up to Auction
>it’s a total shitbox, on 20” nigger-tier dubs, high-mileage, obvious signs it was abused it’s entire life
>we don’t want that shit on our lot so we send cars like that to the auction so Pajeet and his cousins can flip it on their BHPH lot
>although despite not wanting it on our lot or our website, we list it on a classifieds site to see if we can low-key get rid of it for a better price before next week’s auction
>now for his customer
>guy is middle-aged, looks like he hasn’t slept in years
>turns out he’s here to get a car for his daughter
>from his polite description of her I gathered she’s a spoiled brat who totaled a brand new car within 2-weeks of getting it
>now she wants a luxury SUV but her dad only has a budget of $10k
>for $10k you’re only getting a gigantic shitheap
>>16565932
Yeah ok. I'll read the rest of it.
>>16565932
>break it to our salesman and his customer that his ghetto cayenne isn’t actually on the lot, we sent it up for auction a few days ago, but we can arrange to bring it back if he’s interested
>however, as luck would have it we just got another cayenne yesterday
>now this one looks much cleaner than the one we sent to auction, but it has frame damage in the history
>never the less, the guy is interested because we would also like to be rid of this shitheap and would let it go for $8500 as-is
>he takes it on a test drive, it drives smooth enough
>obviously needs his daughter’s approval
>calls her up, tells her to come have a look
>she rolls up with her boyfriend, now I understand why she was interested in the ghetto-cayenne
>Stacey and Jamal climb out of Jamal’s clapped out 3-series, blacked out lights, fenders scraping wheels, muffler cut off etc
>she looks the cayenne up and down, says it’s unacceptable
>”dad, this car is beige! I’m going to look like a grandma driving this, and the rims are too small!”
>dad looks defeated, lets out a big sigh
>Jamal steps in “well babygurl, we can just plastidip it matte black like the kardashians do, it’ll look sick. One of my boyz could even hook you up with some rimz.”
>She gives him a hug, “aww Jamal you’re so smart you think of everything”
>Dad rolls his eyes, “well are we taking it then or what?”
>she wants to see the one with the nigger tier ghetto rims first before she makes a decision
Would American cars suck less if NASCAR still required race cars to be unmodified production models?
no since that was never a thing the cars were always modified and the cars were still shit anyway
>>16593199
tfw manufacturers will never race "stock" vehicles in endurance races
would be sweet to see regular cars with all the proper safety equipment battle it out at lemans, nurb and all those races
Big three would just race camarillo/mustang/challenger
Don't know what Toyota would do.
Well... this isn't probably going to end well...
Have in mind that i 100% know that I have a shitbox .. but either way I love my car..
So.... this will probably be the first and probably wont last..
Modified Chevrolet Cruzes Thread ~
Post yours if you have one.
>>16592795
It's only acceptable if it's manual
Because modifying an automatic is not fun and Is boring
>>16592810
Mine's a manual
i once went to a cars and coffee meet at a porsche dealership
and a chevy cruize with really cheap wheels painted pink (the car was navy blue) with its only other mod being an ebay racing seat took one of the front and center spots amongst ferraris that was really set aside for an f50 that was late
that is my only impression of that car....
What kind of people drive these? What is the appeal?
>>16592508
mostly women.
>whats the appeal
well, some people are retarded and think its justified to spend ~30k on a new Mini Cooper when you can get a used E or even S-class for a few thousand bucks, because
>ITS SO HARD FINDING A PARKING SPOT THEE-HEEE
People who like gokarts.
Not worth buying used because the reliability is fucking awful and they're expensive to repair (or tedious to repair yourself) and not worth buying new because an actual go kart is much cheaper.
I do, however, really like the way they look and I don't know why
Prefer the real ones
Potentially going to check out this Wrangler soon. 2000 TJ Wrangler Sahara, 5 speed manual, with the 4.0 straight 6. Wikipedia tells me these had an optional Dana 44 in the rear, but I don't know if this has it or not. 133k on odometer. couple cosmetic things wrong like a cracked front bumper and chipped windshield. Apparently no issues with functionality. dude wants $8000. decent deal? Common issues with TJs to look for? It's the only one for sale in my town right now under $20k. Id have to travel about 100 miles in any direction to find another Jeep in my price range.
Where are you located? TJs sell for >10k all the time in Texas
>>16592358
I just sold my 05 for 12k a couple months ago. Have the trans/engine been replaced? The 4.0 can last as long as you maintain it, but if the trans hasn't been replaced, it'll likely fail soon. The trans on my 05 crapped at 80k.
Have you looked at it personally? Easiest way to tell from D35/44 is the plug. Rubber 35, metal 44. For 8k that isn't bad at all. "Cracked" front bumper i assume is referring to the plastic caps. Just take them off.
Common issues I had with my TJ were oil leaks. Nothing serious until the trans work
Can someone red pill me on why these are worth so much? They look fucking stupid and the geometry doesn't look very conducive for "off-roading".
Cool, it's 4x4. Cool, it has a locking differential. Cool, the Toyota 4Runner I rented for $60/day in Vegas had all that too.
>why does the car behind the car infront look better?
They're both ugly.
Because its DEL SOL A CUTEEE
/k/ here, what are your thoughts on Teslas?
pic related is a tesla after getting rear ended
>>16591887
Heard they had a worse reliability rating than Fiat.
So, I am steering clear.
greatest car company of the past 10 years
They're like Delorean but successful
Is short throw shifter a meme if used with commuter appliance econoboxes only? It seems so fucking satisfying but it's expensive as well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYjaxVMkMk0
Because I wanna do this with my '97 Honda Accord, I mean as long as it has a shift boot it's viable now?
>>16591574
Do it if you have the money, who cares what others think? It's your car.
I mean, if you wanna why not, on my 95 accord I put an extension on it and made the throw like 10 inches and I love it, do what you wanna do.
>>16592054
Wrong concept, a short throw isn't just a shorter rod. It's extends the length of the fulcrum to shorten the distance between gears.
In actuality a short throw isn't any shorter in overall length than a stock shifter, remove an inch from the top then add it back to the fulcrum.
Okay /o/ excuse the noob post but I just came to a conclusion and was wondering if I could get a verification.
Anyhow my dumbass hit a curb drunk as shit in the rain about 2 weeks ago. Pretty high curb, blew the left front tire, dented the rim, ripped out the shitty plastic cover that goes inside the fender but luckily the car only pulls slightly to the left after I'd bought a new tire/rim.
Starting about a week later I've noticed a small leak of what I'm 90% sure is oil everytime I drive it. It seems to leak the same amount regardless of how long the car has been parked.
I'm thinking I bent the oil pan under the car and now oil is leaking out of the sides of the oil pan every time I drive it since it's bent.
pic related, car is a 2013 corolla base model doesn't matter with a manual transmission.
What are the chances I'm right and how much would it cost to fix if I did it myself?
>>16591554
next time make a short greentext synopsis that post is hard to read.
>if you tore your oil pan you would know pretty quickly so that's not what the problem is
>find out where the leak is coming from, it could be your strut since your dumb ass probably bent it
>also your car pulls to the left because you fucked up your suspension
>gotta get a new strut (front pair since you replace them in twos), knuckle, possibly new control arm, and an alignment
if it turns out you bent/cracked your oilpan and it's leaking, then you must have done a number on that curb and there is probably some damage to the frame.
got pics of the damage?
>pic related, it's you worrying about your shitbox
>>16591586
I just thought of this but actually but it's dark and I don't have a jack that's good enough to get myself under the car at the moment.
I did look at it and nothing seems obviously fucked.
Took it to a mechanic for routine maintenance(I'm lazy) and they didn't notice anything either
Leak seems to be coming from the middle of the car, not around the strut.
Why would it only leak after I drive it anyway?
Why the fuck are you asking us where the fucking leak is on your shity car? Go out there and look for it you fucking retard and kill yourself while you're at it retarded fuck.
Hey everybody how's it goin?
hey guys
hey
hey hows it
hey
haha
*proceeds to melt*
haha
Thanks so much for tuning in
I probably have about yay inch of legspace.
No drivetrain hump though, that's always jolly haha.
>melts
saabkyle is based
Pic related was my first hobby grade
>>16591520
lol i had one EXACTLY like that. shit, it might still be in my garage too
I'm restoring mine.
>>16591520
i had the RC hummer with a tailgate and hood that could open
drained battery like the real ones drain gas.
I'm looking to pick up stick and I wanted to know a good car to learn it in. Pic related is the beast the internet seems to recommend, a Volvo 240 (no year specified by anyone though) and I was wondering what you guys thought about it or had any recommendations (broke college kid here).
>inb4 lurk moar newfag
I'm new but hoping to stay
>>16591505
I checked out this review already: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nxMYiVdXD0
>>16591505
Civic for 3k
>>16591505
why do you want a heavy brick for a car? its the automotive equivalent of an old nokia
Hey fellas, just bought a 1983 TT141 Toyota Corona.
Swapped it for a BMW I paid $1,300NZD for.
Got a full set of 15x7 SSR Reverse Mesh as spares, and it's sitting on a set of 15x8 Rota Grid V's.
Currently fixing up the rust in the boot and below the rear window. Fuck all rust considering it's age.
go fuck a goat
>>16591359
why :((
>pic of rust, just gonna cut whole boot rust with a body saw and weld some S14 into it.
>>16591379
i thought that was a NZ greeting
I did it /o/
I bought the gutless econobox.
I em men now.
Its babby's first vehicle.
113 000km.
2008 SE.
MINT interior.
No rust.
Minor paint damage.
4 steel wheels and 4 2012 fusion aluminum mags.
$6500 Canadian all in after sales taxes, new rubber mats, rust-proofing, 3 month/5000km warranty from dealer.
Came totally detailed. Like I said; interior is clean and beautiful. Smells like vanilla and bananas.
Fully loaded, no leather seats/no remote starter.
Also included in the 6500$ is first three months of insurance payments.
I think I made a good purchase.
Any advice on maintenance?
>>16591184
>buying american
>referring to wheels as mags
>>16591201
>6500
You done goofd. You could have imported a 2000 Subaru legacy B4 with less kilometers, awd and turbos for the same price or LESS. Or an Evo 4, or a WRX Sti.
Shit tier decision broseph. Why wouldn't you import?
How do people do downhill drives without hitting other cars? A certain YouTube channel (haggard garage) has a downhill run in the dark where he doesn't slow down for corners and just rides over the lines wouldn't this get you rekt if someone was coming uphill?
>>16591183
>Haggerd garage
Get out of here. Just go. I'm not even going to dignify this thread with a response.
One word
>Torringtonofshit
If automatic downshift to 2. Engine brake and focus