ITT: pick one of your favorite genres and greentext your least

>>53744232
>Hard Rock
>Obligatory softer, slower song about the terrible past experiences of the lead singer

Ambient
> drones drones drones drones drones
> don't sweat it, just take whatever sounds you can make and stretch them for ten minutes, that will do
> add a few random piano notes, now it's beautiful
> add one or two strings on top of that, now it's even more beautiful
> add a sample from a sci-fi movie and a few random bleeps, now you have spacey ambient
> add a female voice that goes "aaah-hoooo-aaaaaaaaah" in the background, everyone loves these, makes the music sound "ethereal" or whatever
> add some vaguely exotic/new age rhythms, I don't know, African or Australian or who gives a fuck, now you get tribal ambient
> make it fuzzy and noisy, now you're just like Tim Hecker
> take a beautiful scenery pic, make it blurry if you want to, here's your cover art

Stoner/doom metal
>repeating a generic, "menacing" sounding riff ad infinitum
>obligatory section of the track where a single chord is being played in a steady rhythm
>monotonous harmony across the whole genre, just hit them Ds
>marijuana references left and right, marijuana references in the name of the band, song titles, album covers

>>53744519
This is spot on kek.

Shoegaze
>generic 4/4 pop beats
>generic guitar rhytms
>cmaj7
>"lo-fi" synths
>'spacey' vocals
>oh but we're depressed college students
>lets make it slightly more noisy to give the impression like we think we know what we're doing
>but we shouldn't sound too much like mbv or ride or slowdive
>who cares lets just take a picture and put it under filters to give it a le vintage look

female vocalists

>it is a flawless genre

>Synthpop
>band that otherwise does catchy, under five minute songs tries to do a ten minute instrumental "experimental" piece and it falls flat on its face because they want to be like Kraftwerk

>>53744814
>female vocalists
>vocalist is female

>>53744854
thats not a cliché

>>53744600

I wish Stoner rock was just called Desert rock.

Nothing against pot, I smoke from time to time but I fucking hate stoners

post-rock
>EITS soundalikes
>bands where every song sounds exactly the same
>reverbed lolsotwinkly guitar sound
>The Longer My Band Name Gets, The More People Will Like Me Just For Indie Cred
>'mysterious' stage personas
>pics of landscapes
>>53744741
agreed

> Grunge

> Total disregard to hygiene

Post-metal
>every blackgaze track sounds like every other blackgaze track that has ever existed
>bombastic "uplifting" post-rock drumming
>obscure everything in so much lo-fi grime that you can't even discern anything
>deep lyrics that just really aren't that deep
>at least one glaring, bearded manlet with tattoos on his folding arms in their numerous black-and-white publicity photos
>sometimes it just sounds like contemporary Christian music with lower tunings and more atmosphere

>>53744600
You forgot:

>horror film sample or girl saying something over a telephone during the single chord section

>>53745929
Agreed.

>>53745872
it's like if grunge was called heroin rock

Progressive Rock
>band tries to do do the same things that the original prog bands where doing decades ago
>it's tagged as progressive rock just because it has an organ
>it's tagged as prog just because it's slightly experimental

Psychobilly
>everything's like the Misfits except not good

Noise
>i somehow think this release is interesting without a back story or original idea tied behind it, no i'll release it on bandcamp with a BDSM cover
>Actually fuck it, lemme just throw some filters over this MSPaint scribbles, now its a smokey/scratchy b/w cover that reflects the noise contained within
>"my inspiration is gerogerigegege so my shitty noise & random artwork is obviously dada"

Most new noise i try checking out on bandcamp falls under this.

>>53746146
>horror film sample
How the hell did I forgot this?

>>53747481
>noise on bandcamp
there's your problem
I kind of like listening to noise but I have no idea what makes a good noise record, so I only listen to "approved" noise artists with a significant following
I'd like to change that, but there's nowhere to have good discussions about noise, including /noise/

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482KB, 500x360px

>>53744519

>>53744232
The reggae influences are some of my favourite parts of British punk. Imagine The Clash's discography minus the reggae influence. No White Man in Hammersmith Palais, Armagideon Time, Police and Thieves, etc

>>53744842

>Synthpop
>Synthpop songs about how the artist plays synthpop
>Ill-advised tape/musique concrete experiments

>vaporwave
>half the genre is shit

>>53744232
Fucking hate reggae/ska punk songs.

>Power Metal
Motherfucking Achilles is riding a firebreathing dragon through medieval castles in order to rescue the world's most beautiful princess.

>Thrash Metal
Nuclear annihilation. Last survivors fight each other to survive. Some of them are only skeletons (2spooky rite?).

>Power/Thrash
Nuclear-Mutated Achilles is on a war hellicopter killing dwarves.

>new wave
>hey guys listen to how cartoonish I can make my voice sound
>now fuck around with synths while I play 50's guitar riffs over it