Let's see how this turns out. Picture says it all. I'll

The band is called Burzum II

The drummer is replaced after every 2 years

It only plays NMH covers by clapping with spoons of different shapes.

none of the members have any arms or legs and they're all deaf and prone to intense seizures

their debut is hailed as the best progressive dream-funk album by critics

>>53375926
We treat our fans like Death Grips does.

They're a washboard band, but they don't know how to play the washbord, washtub bass, or jug flute

every song by the band contains at least one reference to Star Trek

>>53375926
The frontman is actually a horribly obese transvestite and the band brings her everywhere in a wheelbarrow.

the fact that people call them the

They poop on stage and then sell it after the show for bargain prices

>>53375926
It's shit

The band's song titles are references to internet memes

the frontman is the greatest songwriter of all time

Michael Gira dances at the side during every show, wears a dog leash.

The singer is anorexic and the obligatory wind instrument player has recently battled cancer

Its second album was released as a double album, with the second disk being the entire first disk backward.

It was critically acclaimed, although was banned from 24 countries for satanic themes

>>53375926
The drum has This face in the center (^:
They cut their dicks on stage
They pooped on the piano during a cover of clocks

A lot of these facts contradict each other and that bothers me.

The current incarnation of the band contains no founding members, as they all slowly left due to artistic differences

They are now a four-piece all-girl pop punk band, featuring a saxophonist.

The band is full of neo nazis. They get mad if any non-europeans show up at their gig and throw pig feces into the crowd.

before recording sessions the band take acid, get naked, rub baby oil on each other and re-enact the birth of the universe in an erotic interpretive dance while chanting "BEE AN EM! BEE AN EM! TEN OUT OF TEN! TEN OUT OF TEN!"

>>53376040
>>53375926

There are no real facts about the band.

All facts are true of this band

all paradoxes relating to this band can be resolved

there are 9 drummers in the band

>>53375941
>>53375952
>>53375965
>>53375972
>>53375981
>>53375992
>>53376008
>>53376014
>>53376052
>>53376361
All of these are golden.

10/10
Would assist to every concert and be very loud and vocal when talking about this band on the internet.

>>53375926
Everyone in the band is a faggot

OP here, I forgot to mention that I'll compile this info into a band biography, making the facts match as much as they can.

Also, the bassist is Jesus, but still a pretty lousy musician.

What was their best oceangrunge album?

>>53376545
WEAK WAVES 2: The Darkest Ocean

The band is not a musical "band"
It's more like a stretchy elastic "band"

>>53375926
The drummer is also the guitarist.

the band made a vacation on hawaii for two years where mike met his wife, he was married with for three years, and george found to himself

They had a dark point their career where they only made rap for a couple albums

Their first demo was labeled "Demo II"

>>53375926
They end every song with a sus chord

if you play back all tracks of their debut album simultaneously, the complete recipe for a chocolate soufflé narrated by Nicholas Cage can be heard.

>>53376572
This album featured the song "CHOPPY WATER" which was the only track like it on the album. This song gave birth to a new sound of oceangrunge-jazz fusion. Billy Corgan stole this sound on his last album titled "/π/"

they killed jeremy ward and forced cedric and omar from the mars volta to give them all of their cocaine

Bono has tried to assassinate the lead singer mulitiple times, but his attacks could not penertrate her/his/xir wall of fat

pitchfork's Rodney Doombal rated their debut with a 11/10, then shortly became a Jeovah's witness and commited suicide that same week, poiting that he "heard the sound of the hills and heavens twisting and remotely collapsing through his mind"
pitchfork has since deleted all evidence about his existence and decided to employ his younger brother Ryan Doombal

>>53376400
>all of mine are there

Whoo I meaningly contributed to a shitty thread

They have an album where every sound is made from slapping wet toast against stuff

When asked to collaborate on Björk's latest album, members of the band took turns defecating on a flag of Iceland and mailed it to her record label with a piece of paper saying "costanza.jpg"

>>53376909
it doesn't matter in the bigger picture

they forced Squarepusher to twerk in front of a microphone for 8 minutes, the audio was stretched into a 6 hour long piece titled "Testicular Holocaust"

The whole band has been caught multiple times posting offensive content on a Chinese Cartoon Image Board.

Their vocalist never posts anything of quality they all hate him, but his vocals are too good to pass up so they keep him around.

they were originally going to be called Le Reddit Army, but apparently that was taken.

Jesus this is a lot of stuff, band bio is almost two pages now. I'll upload in 15 mins or smth.

our sophomore LP will be a collection of vaporwave songs compiled from samples of Fantano's videos

Releases weekly demos on cassette that consist only of slowed down Top 40 pop songs

>>53375926

Their music is notable in political spheres for containing overtly anarcho-communist overtones and themes. This is, however, ironic considering the fact that the lead singer and bassist are also wealthy industrialists in the energy sector and have partnered with conservative think tanks and neoliberal governments to craft international trade deals facilitating the expansion of capital and free market politics.

some say thom yorke refused to join because it was "too whiney"

Every video they release is in .gif form on imgur and shot with a fisheye lens attached to a full spectrum camera.

They refuse to tour in anything other than a G5 so they have yet to have their first tour.

they make bad music except for their last album before they all get killed in a freak accident the album doesnt get finished but there is one song and you could just tell the album was going to be good

they also use no punctuation

Band is called "#YesAllMen #Meninist"

they donate all profits from album sales to ISIS affiliates in order to "energize the chaos-vagina of the capitalist post-colonial world-matrix"

None of the members are trans or even gay but they all pretend to be so they'll get tumblr cred. There are seven tumblr fan accounts, all created by the label

Due to many technicalities, all of their "albums" are technically mixtapes. Also, due to a lack of professional grade recording equipment, all of their mixtapes are also classified as bootlegs.

The band has been criticized for its harsh stance against illicit downloading among members of its fanbase. When asked about their views on online privacy by Fox and Friends on Sunday May 3, 2016, their drummer was quoted as saying, "you might as well be putting your hand in my back pocket and stealing my bill fold. art is a product to be bought and sold. would you steal from a grocery store or 7/11? no. then dont steal from me, criminal scum. I believe theft is a crime and a mortal sin. Downloaders should be tried and sentenced to 10 years minimum".

This particular quote sparked outrage among their fans, as it was revealed that the drummer of the band had invested millions in private prisons run by his company SecuriTech. The band has denied any connection between the investments and their stance on piracy.

>>53377284
oops
online piracy***

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>>53377253
Goddamn. Beat me to it.

The band received widespread attention when former vice-president Dick Cheney revealed that their single "Tired Old Boot," from the album "88 Reasons to Grow a Goatee", was his most-played track on iTunes.

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the vocalist (frontman) and drummer (both male) used to date but at some point they realised they are actually straight. now they both are hitting on hot sax girl.
someone mentioned that drummer is replaced every 2 years but we are gonna keep this one because he can play even if drunk as fuck
bassist (jesus) just laughs at drummers and vocalists awkward attempts with the girl. hes actually the best.
autistic guitarist secretely takes methamphetamine just before every band practice. he once took too much before gig and he fucked it up. he rarely says anything, but plays good.

well ill say a few words about band practices because i feel inspired:
jesus is always late. he once forgot his bass and they had to cancel the practice. hes always too loud. but he and drummer understand each other in 100%
vocalist (frontman) usually comes with his mum because since he doesnt have legs or arms he has to be carried. his mum fully supports him. his wheelchair doesnt look great on gigs though. the rest of band think that he is just unnecessary but no one wants to say he has to go. he has nice voice scale though and everyone forgets about all the negatives after he starts singing.
sax girl doesnt really care about this band and shes thinking about leaving but she cant leave such faggots on their own. shes nice. everyone listens to her. she usually shows up first. i guess she just plays along with others.
drummer is the most nazi character and thinks he is the best in entire band. when they play some jazzy or funk improvisation at some points he just cant stand this shit and starts banging all the drums and crashes, changes tempo to 220 bpm and fucks shit up (jesus is ok with that, sax girl at this point usually leaves)

more?

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We only play live shows if one of the band members cant make it. If everyone is okay, we dont play. That's our motto

All of them have become heroin addicts in hopes they will die at 27 from an overdose, and then all the critics and general population will view them as the best band ever even though they are actually pretty mediocre.

Every single song in their discography begins with a minute-long spoken word introduction by one of the UK's prominent "grime" artists who instructs the listener the ideal circumstances under which the song should be heard, ie "before the sun sets but after suppertime." This is followed by a minute and a half long segment where the sound of radio static drowns out the listener's thoughts so that they may only listen to the song with a clear mind.

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the bands bass guitarist isn't actually classified as an entity under Western Saharian, Nigerian, and Madagascar law, so they only play in those 3 countries as a tax dodge.

He also doesn't play bass guitar and infact has no arms.

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>>53377416

They wear nothing onstage but panties borrowed from groupies and luchador masks. They all have basically the exact same build, and draw straws to determine who will pretend to be what band member before every concert.

Nobody has ever noticed they switch places.

one of the members wears a single thumbtack around their neck as a necklace with just a piece of twine attached to it. No one can tell which one does right away, so it's like hide and seek.

the drummers play backwards, the bass player uses no strings, the guitarist has all his strings tuned to high E and it's a 12 string, the vocalist sings with an iranian accent, they are part of the elephant 8 music group

They are a straight-edge band, though they all met in college while attending a "really chill" frat party that consisted of beer pong and other behaviors considered "lewd" by convention straight-edge standards. The band typically maintains a straight-edge life style while touring, though reportedly uses bath salts and synthetic marijuana in the recording studio, of which multiple producers, studio technicians, and peers have referred to as "a bit obnoxious".

Band biography
Burzum II (originally Le Reddit Army) is a progressive dream-funk rap pop punk oceangrunge band. The band was remarkable because it was the first all-gay band of which all members did not have any arms or legs. However, as the complete original line-up has been replaced, the band is no longer very remarkable.
The band started out as a Neutral Milk Hotel cover band, producing the sounds by clapping with spoons of different shapes. During this period, they released their first demo called "Demo II". After this, the band decided to be a washboard band for a short period, but this style was quickly abandoned once it was established that no one in the band knew how to play the washboard, washtub bass or jug flute.
After this period, the band released its debut album, which was praised by critics. Rodney Doombal rated the debut with a 11/10, and the album drove him insane a week later, leading Pitchfork to erase his entire existence. Their second album, a double album, was also critically acclaimed, although it was banned from 24 countries for satanic themes. After this, the band went on a vacation to Hawaii for two years, and consequently started experimenting with oceangrunge, resulting in their third album, "WEAK WAVES 2: The Darkest Ocean". One of the songs on this album, CHOPPY WATER, would go on to spawn the new genre of oceangrunge-jazz-fusion. Their fourth album was made by forcing British musician Squarepusher to twerk in front of a microphone for 8 minutes, after which the audio was stretched into a 6 hour long piece. This album was called "Testicular Holocaust".
After this, the band entered what is usually referred to as "the dark point of their career", resulting in several rap albums, one of which was an album where every sound was made by slapping wet toast against things.

1/3

>>53377631
The band's original front man died from anorexia, and the original wind instrument player died after a long battle against cancer. To make sure that the next front man would not die from anorexia, the band decided to hire an obese transvestite. This turned out to be a smart move when Bono tried to kill the front man, but the bullet got stuck in his fat. This incident enraged the front man so much that he subsequently killed Jeremy Ward.
Eventually, the other members left due to artistic differences. The band became a pop punk band after this period, and hired a saxophone player to enrich the sound of the band.

Musical style
Burzum II plays progressive dream-funk, pop punk, rap and oceangrunge, with their debut album being hailed by critics as the best album within the progressive dream-funk genre. They have often used controversial techniques, such as producing a double-album of which the second disc was the first disc backwards, and ending every song with a sus chord. The complete recipe for a chocolate soufflé narrated by Nicholas Cage can be heard when the debut album is played backwards.
In addition, they did not like it when they were referred to as a musical band, preferring to be seen as "more like a stretchy elastic band".
The band's recording process is always preceded by the following ritual: The band take acid, get naked, rub baby oil on each other and re-enact the birth of the universe in an erotic interpretive dance while chanting "BEE AN EM! BEE AN EM! TEN OUT OF TEN! TEN OUT OF TEN!".
The lyricism contains at least one reference to Star Trek in every song. The band's song titles are usually references to internet memes.
When asked to collaborate on Björk's latest album, members of the band took turns defecating on a flag of Iceland and mailed it to her record label with a piece of paper saying "costanza.jpg"

2/3

they were the first band to perform on Bill O'Rielly's "No Spin Zone" over 5 times in one season. O'Rielly, self-reportedly a "superfan" has admitted to illegally downloading the group's music in a moment of weakness. He is the only known individual that the band has since forgiven for this criminal violation.

>>53375970
Almost like Radiohead

>>53377647
Live shows
Due to the current front man being an obese transvestite and the founding members having no limbs, the band hardly moves on stage. The band also often poops on stage, and sells this poop as merchandise after the show. The drum kit always has the ":^)" smiley face on it. The band also hates it when non-European people show up to their shows, as the band has a neo-Nazi background.
Swans front man Michael Gira dances at the side during every show, wearing a dog leash. The whole band has also been caught multiple times posting offensive content on a Chinese Cartoon Image Board while on stage.

Band Members
Singer (Founding member) -
Singer (Current) -
Bassist (Founding member) -
Bassist (Current) - Jesus Christ
Wind Instrument Player (Founding member) -
Saxophone Player -
Guitarist (Founding Member) -
Guitarist (Current) -
Drummer (Founding member) -
Drummer #2 -
Drummer #3-
Drummer #4-
Drummer #5-
Drummer #6-
Drummer #7-
Drummer #8-
Drummer/Guitarist (Current) -

It has to be noted that the band has had 9 drummer because the drummer gets replaced every two years.

Discography
Demo II
Debut Album
Untitled Double Album
WEAK WAVES 2: The Darkest Ocean
Testicular Holocaust
Untitled Rap Album
Untitled Rap Album 2
Untitled Rap Album 3

3/3

I still have to update this.

All seventeen band members met during their time in the Mexican Navy. They must also return from touring every Wednesday evening to attend their city's weekly Republican discussion panel.

Post >>53377777 was made by one of the band's members in reference to their upcoming world tour.

They are currently recording the soundtrack for the next series of Rules of Engagement

List of mixtapes from "The Squad Years":
I Caught Phimosis in Afghan
The Seventh Trial: Sloppy Cock
Crumpet Time
Crossing the Lines of Human Decency: Live from the Court House
Peaz Porridge Hot
Peaz Porridge Hot pt II: Peaz Porridge Cold
Peaz Porridge Hot pt III: Peaz Porridge in da Pot Nine Dayz Old
Our Drummer Had Triplets (Bong Blues)
At Roach's Tratch

They eventually went through a Jesus phase where the limbless lead sing would sing from a manger and the other members would dress as disciples. This was the lead singers idea because he thought a manger would be comfortable.

They kidnapped RDJ and threatened him to release Unselected Ambient Works, they enclosed him on a cage dressed on a fursuit for 12 years and let him free if he brought some good ol' fashioned cola for a whole month

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It's actually a virtual band created by a 50-year old man in his parent's basement using computer (pic related)

Album is called "le dubs :^)"

They released a 2 hour recording of a sex change operation backed by free improvisational harpsichord that reached number 1 in 6 countries

a black man joins the band. there are rumours he might be jew aswell. plays keys

They go into hiatus and then 20 years later come back with a cloud rap album

>>53375926
The frontman of the band has both legs and arms.

>>53378235
there are 2 frontmen, and they're conjoined twins

>>53378235
Just not his

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>>53377003

I would totally pay money to have this album.


Some dispute whether there is even a band at all. Albums are released in clay pots packaged with irradiated seaweed from the russian coast.

>>53376400
>>53377499
>>53377577
>>53377999
I've never seen such a disgusting lack of dubs in my whole life

The drummer is actually the frontman's mom secretly dressed as a man.

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>>53376209
>>53376256
>>53376309

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>>53377710
The second , forth , and seventh drummer were actually the same one , but they always kicked him because he sexually harassed all the band's (both male and female members) and constantly flashed his penis in concerts , his name is Jim "Czar of soiled underpants" Dinkelshafen.
He is the forth cousin of Flatlander of Deathgrips , and his father contributed to the OD that killed Jimi Hendrix.

Ever since the band came together, fans are still trying to determine if the current guitarrist really exists or not.

after they released their final album, it was revealed that every band member was actually madlib in disguise

>>53377710
Drummer #5 is Piero Scaruffi

The band used to play secret shows in the founding singer's mom's basement
Some unreleased songs they were rumored to have played included
>Two Headed Boy Pt 2 (Electro-Grunge cover)
>(Can't Get Enough) Chicken Tendies
>untitled screaming fit

>>53377710
The Untitled Double Album should be called "My Mommy Mops Up My Hot Shit After I Unload On Her Tortoises/Direct From the Womb Part 1- Beginning of an Era"

>>53377710
Founding singer's name is Billy B. N. Really
Founding bassist is Tom York

One concert was interrupted halfway through when the current drummer's mother walked on stage and demanded they stop, because the drummer had not finished his homework yet. This was especially bizarre because the drummer was 60 years old and his mother's death was widely publicized. The drummer was kicked out of the band due to this incident.

They released a compilation titled "Burzbox" which has they're entire discography backwards.
The only unreversed tracks are the second disc to their double album

When Kurt Cobain's dead body was found, a tape of this band was playing on his radio.

The band was brought together by the fact that all of their immediate family members had died of mysterious circumstances, each of them inheriting their respective instruments

All of the current members have an addiction to taking weed in suppository form

>>53377710
Ohpee, is you dead

>>53379710
I think he's letting people submit more information

>>53376579
Underrated post

The band broke up without going to Brazil, causing massive riots in the country.

>>53377081
>ey were o
>>53377082
>>53377223
>>53377999
>>53379166
this one's are good and should be add to biography

They write lyrics only using vowels

>>53375941
Let me Aske you a question

the band would often cancel shows just hours before they were scheduled to happen, then show up and play anyway

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The band's executive ficus musician fought in the vietnam war as a special forces pilot and had over 400 confirmed kills

It is said that over 90% of his body has lost motor function from various STD's he picked up off of Cambodian whores while he was in the military, earning him the nickname "Shaky Jake".

The frontman has a shit fetish and regularly paints his face like a toilet in an effort to trick people into shitting in his mouth

Every album was recorded live in one take

>>53381180
the band members still felt the need to say the current date and time at the end of every track though, including saying what year it is every time

They formed due to a large, mutual angst about moot's departure and, in the short time that's passed, released several albums and cycled through a number of drummers. Many people worry that the armless, legless guitarist may take the Kurt Cobain route, but it's regarded as unlikely seeing as the doctor of the frontman won't go through with gender reassignment surgery, and firing a gun with a vagina is much harder than firing one with a penis.