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Life sucks

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Okay so my girlfriend just left me. I'm fucked up. Gonna stay up all night and listen to music. Hang out, post your feels, quote sad lyrics.
>>
>/mu/ is the place you choose to hangout
life does suck
don't worry op im depressed too
>>
I opened my eyes
While you were kissing me once more than once
And you looked as sincere as a dog
Just as sincere as a dog does,
When it's the food on your lips with which it's in love

>tfw when I was that dog
>>
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Sianspheric - The Sound of the Color of the Sun
Feelsiest album I have in my library

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbrDeo0FrxM
>>
THOOSEEE RED STRINGSS
>>
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>Not to be
>Overly dramatic
>I just think it's best
>Cause you can't miss what you forget
>>
>>51343640
To help you calm down and let go (or not, depends on you really)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifVvfXk-pSU
>>
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But Christmas falls late now, flatter and colder
And never as bright as when we used to fall
And even if we drink, I don't think we could kiss
In the way that we did when the woman was only a girl

Gets me every time
>>
>>51343683
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZ5WPXxNzPU

Also this became a post breakup blanket
>>
>>51343855
Not my cup of tea but thanks. Feels were had.
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7bXWsrs_B4
>>
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while we stay here we imagine we're alive
we see shadows on the walls
there's something waiting for us in the hot, wet air
sweat, water and alcohol
>>
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Feeling hopeful and helpless
Talking shit all the same
Do you keep having nightmares about the old gang
Or when I keep reminding
Myself this will pass
But myself keeps reminding me
It will come back

Will anyone save us, /feel/?
>>
At least you had a gf in the first place...
>>
>>51344930
She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I had her for two years. She doesn't love me anymore. I'm glad we had the time we had.
>>
>>51344961
You seem to be taking this pretty well. I'm glad to see that.
>>
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>crush hard on girl at work for 4 weeks
>start talking to her more and more often
>go to party and we kiss in front of everyone
>everyone calls me a badass because she is a hottie
>go to work monday
>she has a bf
>everyone that knows about everything that's happened treats me nicer because they know im dying inside
>tfw she tries to talk to me like normal

song unrelated. but i like it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gg24icEcqCs
>>
>>51344009
The feels are real.
>>
iktfb. i went through it like 2 years ago, broke up with who i thought was the love of my life, dated for 3.5 years. said i was taking up her life and she just wanted to be with her friends.

you move on bro, you'll find someone better. you'll hang out with your friends more, and even though it's hard to believe now, you'll be happier.

don't make the same mistake as me though, don't get into another relationship too quick.

and now for lyrics that hit me in the feels every time.


I've woken up, I'm in our bed, but there's no breathing body there beside me.
Someone must have taken you while I was stuck asleep.
But I know better as my eyes adjust.
You've been gone for quite awhile now, and I don't work there in the hospital
(they had to let me go.)
>>
JESUS CHRIST JUST LISTEN TO KEATON HENSON - DEAR OR CRYWANK - JAMES IS GOING TO DIE SOON IF YOU JUST BROKE UP

ALBUMS WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WHO'S GIRLFRIEND JUST LEFT THEM.
>>
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NFQ4nuUuwNo

somebody posted this song when i posted a topic similar to this about a month ago. i know this feel bro. you'll be a better person soon enough, you'll be going out with your friends and meeting new people and someone new will come across you dude. everything will be alright in the end and if it's not alright it's not the end.
>>
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>>51345208

>without you what does my life amount to
>>
The autumn leaves are tumbling down and winter's almost here
But through the spring and summertime we laughed away the year
And now we can be grateful for the gift of memory
For I remember having fun
Two happy hearts that beat as one
When I had thought that we were "we"
But we were "you and me"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52eMBSRNYxA
>>
Its odd, i havent been feeling too many feels lately. despite continuing to listen to music that makes me sad and still thinking of depressing sorts of things. Maybe its because ive gotten a couple new hobbies and started keeping myself busy. Have any of you guys ever felt like this? I feel like im in a situation where constantly feeling kind of ultimately bummed is just the baseline, so now it hardly registers as something worth feeling over.
>>
>>51343640
Hey at least you didn't go crazy over the summer and lose your wife because of it.

We weren't even married a full year, I'm still waiting on the divorce paperwork.

Living at your parents home in nowhere going to college in nowhere because you're too poor to keep going to college in Chicago.
>>
mfw music hasn't given me feels in years, so shit like electronic pop gets me jazzy
>>
>>51345208
Are you a fucking poet? Your last line hit me harder than that song.
>>
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>>51343640
You know what to do OP
>>
>>51343640
Hey buddy, it's gonna get better. I promise.
>>
When was the last time you experienced something similar to this /mu/?
>>
>>51345653
like, 3 years ago. Im so detached from that experience though that i cant ever imagine myself being in a relationship again. I feel like ive already had my chance and it screwed up so now im out of the game. Im too self conscious of myself to ever allow anything to happen naturally
>>
>>51345653
Never
>>
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>"the greatest actors keep on acting" plays
>"the greatest feels keep on feeling"
>>
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http://ikwyaayan.bandcamp.com/

This obviously won't be for everyone but his stuff always hits me hard. Just some amateur lo-fi and extremely feelsy bedroom pop.
>>
There used to be a great tumblr page for this stuff, called sadmusicforsadbastards, but it looks like those copyright laws finally caught up with him and its been shut down. that blows
>>
>>51345706
I felt the same way. I'm not one to go out to parties at all, but a good friend of mine threw one for his birthday a couple of weeks ago and I really hit it off with a girl there who was in the same situation as me (doesn't really party but went on a whim with her friends). We ended up walking back to her house at 5 in the morning and had sex until 7, then slept until 1030 and stayed in her bed talking all day. Since then, we've gone on a couple "real" dates: coffee, art museum, nicer restaurants, etc. Things are looking good for us so far
Keep in mind I said I was like you just 3 weeks ago. I hadn't had sex in over a year haven't had a "girlfriend" in 6.
>>
petty teenager problems. i'm your life is great and you're gonna hate yourself for hating these days
>>
>>51345575
>mfw music hasn't given me feels in years
W-why is that? How did it happened?
>>
>>51346016
That sounds really nice, is she a qt? Im happy for you

Maybe i just try too hard, but then if i dont feel like im trying, i imagine that nothing will ever happen. I can't find that happy medium where you just sort of guide things to happen without feeling like you're trying to control things. Maybe im incorrectly expecting things to just fall into my lap, maybe im just being overly neurotic, who knows. I tried getting back with my ex for so long (first loves, amirite?) that ive recently realized i dont really have any idea how to talk to other girls, apart from my friends (one of which im secretly pretty much in love with. but thats a story for some other time, i guess)
>>
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>be very close with an italian darkwave qt while studying overseas
>semesters split between countries
>have to leave her
>we're both finishing school this year
>scared of where life will take me
>tfw just want to see her again


this was one of the few albums on my laptop at the time.
>>
>>51346149
>tfw fall in love with one of your friends

Why?
>>
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>>51345208
>everything will be alright in the end and if it's not alright it's not the end.
>>
>>51346327
Ive been asking myself that same thing since mid July. I can't even talk to her that much because im apprehensive about things to say and i dont want to make everything weird by being too flirty or something. I just want it to happen naturally, its gotten to the point where i even started writing really amateur poetry whenever id have something i thought was poignant enough cross my mind, usually in regards to her, and always while laying in my bed before falling asleep.
>>
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>Wow /mu/ I'm experiencing true suffering
>btw I've had gf
Fucking neo-/mu/ amirite
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hDS30qQl8c
>i want to feel like i feel when i'm asleep
>>
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>>51346467
>tfw i introduced this girl i knew to Giles Corey
>she loved it
>[spoiler]i loved her[/spoiler]
>not we hate eachother
>i cant listen to it anymore
>>
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>fall coming on
>getting cold in the midwest
>lonelier than ever
>applying to colleges
>stress from school
>have a crush on girl
>she doesn't like me back
>growing out beard for the winter
>try looking for the upsides
>>
>>51345123
This is the holy grail of feels. Btw it's almost three AM here. Still holding up. How about you guys?
>>
>>51346149
mega qt. to give a broad description, is a petite, shy art [spoiler]history[/spoiler] student with really nice taste in all the arts, of which I am passionate about (visual, music (she makes decent shoegazey stuff with just her and her guitar too), literature). we weirdly have connections from earlier in life despite being from entirely different areas and moving here for university. For both of us being introverts, conversation flows very easily and we genuinely like each other. [spoiler]the sex is pretty intense, too[/spoiler]
I was the same way with the whole first love thing, and am still not completely over it. But so is she, and we feel comfortable enough with each other already to be talking about that. Idk I actually don't really have any advice for you man, this just happened to fall in my lap pretty much naturally (small party, everyone pretty drunk, got to know strangers quick). I got pretty lucky and all I can do is wish the same luck to you, anon.
>>
>>51346652
Thats great man, and dont worry about me, im sure itll happen eventually, and if it doesnt maybe i can take up smoking and become the strong, silent loner type. ha. Im not expecting advice or anything really, i just need to stop worrying about it all so much and let it happen. Finding someone who shares that many interests must be even better, i have a difficult time doing that normally just because i usually get really passionate about my hobbies and think that scares some people away. It also doesnt help that around here all anybody seems to listen to is country music or top 40 pop.
>>
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>I haven't had an honest conversation in weeks
>and irony rolls off my tongue much more easily
>I don't think it's mean it just represents
>a chilling disconnect from reality
Why am I relating to folk-punk? Fuck me.
>>
>>51343640

be strong, anon!
>>
>>51346761
Folk Punk is great for this stuff, it's mostly just about feeling disenfranchised and angry anyways so its no surprise its relatable if you're feeling not your usual self. Its especially nice when you're feeling really pent up and you need something to yell along to/
>>
>>51346424
just the worst
>>
>>51346828
That sounds really nice. Where do I go from The Great Depression? Please don't say AJJ or I will be sad.
>>
>>51346880
Wood Spider - Decadence

or their Ep, In the Thick of It.

Both excellent. Both free on bandcamp.
>>
>>51346873
trust me, im not happy about it either, im not even sure why it started coming out like this

>>51346880
uhhh general folk punk:

AJJ (obligatory)
Johnny Hobo/Wingnut Dishwashers Union/Ramshackle Glory (these are all Pat The Bunny's projects, and they're all pretty good. JH is a bit more bitter than the other two, but he was going through alcoholism and heroine addiction when he wrote most of the songs for it)
The Taxpayers
Listener
Sledding With Tigers
Nice and Friendly + Captain Chaos
Pedals On Our Pirate Ships
Robert Black, Erik Petersen (sort of folk punky)
some people like Ghost Mice (i dont)

there's tons more on Bandcamp as well, but i havent spent too much time there
>>
>>51347025
I worked with the girl who played violin in ghost mice. She was cool but kind of awkward, and didn't wear deodorant.
>>
>>51347025
*heroin
>>
>>51347101
for some reason none of that really surprises me
>>
>>51347025
>Listener
Is this considered folk punk?
>>
>>51347296
i guess? i was a bit tentative about putting it on the list but i cant really think of what else it would fit well with
>>
>>51343640
>Green, green youth,
>What about the sweetness we knew
>What about what's good what's true
>From those days

>Can't count too
>All the lover's I've burned through
>So why do I still burn for you
>I can't say

>Sorry that
>I could never love you back
>I could never care enough
>In these last days

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrbVpsKdn90
Start at 2:08

Life will be a little less shitty for you OP
>>
>be in stable relationship
>be in love
>I find out I have leukemia
>he leaves me saying its too much of burden to carry
>turns out he was cheating on me

I'm on a healthy diet of Keaton Henson - Dear...
>>
>>51347477
I'm so sorry for you anon. Hope you don't mind if I ask what your gender is, so I can better feel with you.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrl5jWdVOJg&list=UUy6sK7twOvRbKnDRGJwlMcg&index=4

These are really depressing lyrics, and angry as fuck
>>
>>51347570
I'm a guy. Thank you.
>>
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>spend 7 years with girl
>leave her, growing apart
>absolutely lost and clueless now
>i hated my life with her
>i hate my life without her
>i miss how we were when we first started dating
>2 years now, no girl interaction
>i don't think i'm a bad looking guy..i got hit on multiple times when i was with her
>only once since then
>didn't realize it til it was too late
>i can't believe how fast these 2 years have gone
>so much has changed
>get a good job with my degree, finally
>don't know where my life is going
>every day feels the same
>i am 27 and too old to be here
>i don't know what else to do with myself
>i don't know what to do with these feels
>>
>>51347477
>>51347649

Sorry bro. I feel bad for posting my story after yours now...shit.

Casimir Pulaski Day is my ultimate feels song. I feel stupid for recommending music in that situation.
>>
>>51347670
god damnit, anon, are you trying to make me abandon thread or something?
>>
>>51347670
I'm sorry to hear.

I'm 20 and I'm absolutely terrified that this'll happen to me as well. They'll never be mine again and I have absolutely no aim without them.

I'm sure it'll be okay though..
>>
>tfw listening to this, drinnking heavily and thinking about shit I shouldn't really think about doing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLUVYGOOOKE
>>
>>51347744
>>51347755

I just try to not think of it all the time, or at least block it. I don't know if I miss her as much as having someone. I'm afraid I'll get bored and tired when I do find new. I see it happen all the time. I'd still go back to her if she was the same. She doesn't even look the same anymore. It's why https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOw62EREnCg is so feelsy for me.

>>51347755
Just try your best to let go of her. I don't mean that to sounds cliche or anything. If anything, I am over my ex...I didn't delve into the shit that happened, but I'm still trying to get over the anger as well. I have so many walls and defenses from the whole ordeal. I always told myself even in high school that I don't care about hooking up and shit. I just wanted one girl to be happy with. I had it for years.
>>
>>51343640
listened to this the first time the other day. thought it was pretty good. Other albums like it?
>>
>>51347735
Don't feel bad man. The pain you feel is no different from what I feel. Just caused by different things.

Casimir Pulaski Day is a fantastic song. Sufjan is incredible.
>>
>>51347101
that is exactly how i pictured her
>>
>with guy for 2 years
>he leaves for college
>long distance fucking sucks
>move to be with him
>all he wants to do is party
>he wasn't like that before
>i've never been like that
>he cheated
>"you're holding me back, anon"
>listened to this a bunch
>tortured myself every time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9ti_co_ebc
>>
>>51348324
One hell of a song anon. Best of luck to you.
>>
>>51348410
it's getting better. day by day, i guess. won't ever date anyone younger again. haha.
>>
>>51345801
fuck, that hits me. fuck.
>>
>>51347266
>>51348132

She set herself up all the time for conversations to end quickly, but then was really awkward about them ending and would give a long drawn out "Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and then kind of giggle about it.

Still though, I liked working with her. She was fun and had a super cute little girl who would tug on my beard when she was in the store.
>>
>>51345653
cheesy as fuck. do some faggots really act like that?
>>
yeah >coldplay but still. these two. every time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxpOki7dfeE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqHNzlms-ok
>>
OP, I was very much in the same position as you.

Then this album made me feel much better.
>>
>>51345801
>>51348468
Same dude, you got anything else more like this, bedroom music or whatnot
>>
>>51348546
>>51348546
I generally hate the song Yellow but the piano unplugged version is incredible

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dn-uOfHixk
>>
>>51348665
that reminds me of this, another version of a song thats better than what most people have heard

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hh5ZdQrz4Qk
>>
>tfw you never had a high school crush or girlfriend
>tfw you know Bluish is supposed to be about remembering the best moments of your young life and happy as shit in general
>tfw in reality it makes you cry like a scared little kid who will never know what it's like to be 16 and hopelessly in love with someone who feels the same way
>tfw you'll never get lost in her curls

Life is sadness.
>>
>>51348945

dude you can't live like that
>>
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>>51348945
tf kills me. i missed out on so much that I just really didn't care about back then because I was oblivious to everything and what hs should be like... i was pretty happy to sit around and play videogames but I didn't know....... i just didn't know....
>>
>Night falls, silence takes a grip. Guilt I retrieved, a burning will to die.
>I need this to be over before I am bleeding dry.
>Somewhere along the highway these tracks must end.
>I pass a crowd on my way to the house on the hill.
>Dead man with pitchfork arms tells me all that he knows.
>Leave me here for the crows.
>In the Fall she came back, and with her the birds.

Hits me hard nearly every time
>>
>>51349232
I lay awake every morning telling myself I'm going to change and make things better for myself, maybe try to meet a new friend, or a girl, or try to get out of my dead end job, or something that might make me happy.

Then I get up and look in the mirror.
>>
>>51348945
wait, this might be alright, how old are you? you should listen to Modern Baseball and The Front Bottoms
>>
>>51349517
22, I haven't found solace in emo/pop-punk for a couple years now.
>>
>>51348945
>>51349281

I did the same shit. Who cares though? The first time you fall in love you're gonna feel the same anyway, I promise you that. I do regret things about my high school life, but shit I also enjoyed my time when everything was so much simpler. I'd kill to go back to being a quiet kid who played SSBM with a few friends a couple nights a week. Before I cared about all this meaningless shit I care about now. With the benefit of hindsight. If anything, thinking about this sucks because it makes me realize I let fear dictate everything.
>>
>>51349517
Those are both shit bands. Out of all of the choices you have, you choose the two worst ones that you can.
>>
Justing popping in to remind you guys that I'm going to kill myself
>>
>>51349607
hey fuck you man, theyre perfect for those high school level angsty feels.

>>51349547
okay, 22 might be a bit too long to be reminiscing about that kind of stuff :( hope you start feeling better soon...force yourself into a hobby

>>51349610
if you feel you must
>>
>>51349610
why?
>>
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>>51349471

baby steps man. force a smile. don't overwhelm yourself. go do the things you like to do other than post here. go take a walk with some headphones. force yourself to say hi to one person, whether it be male or female. don't make it awkward. just a passing "hi". looking in the mirror should have no affect. listen to pic related.
>>
>>51349660
I want people to know because I'm narcissistic
>>
yoko
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRAl5Kqfy0g

courtney
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VslIXZW7mHI
>>
>>51349708
No, why are you killing yourself?
>>
>>51349569
Yeah I mean it's not like I didn't have friends or anything. Most weekends were pretty simple, play some smash and mario party, watch movies/tv, good times, really.
>>
>>51349770

Yeah man, same. As soon as I cared about being cool and important, life started sucking. I'm glad my innocence lasted as long as it did. Fuck this mindset. I would kill to escape it.
>>
>>51349754
Being alive is no fun at all
>>
What do you guys think: is it wiser to sleep for a couple of hours now that I'm tired or to stay up until the evening? Also, my best friend (who is also my cousin) is coming over this afternoon. I bet talking it over with him will help. He knows her, too.
>>
test
>>
>>51349737

I need to take a shower after listening to that Courtney song
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzDTMEo-g2k
>I see him behind my lids in a bright grey shirt
>I see him running tripping and falling, covered in dirt
>I see a lot of these things lately I know, I know none of it is real

i'm in a long distance relationship and his birthday was yesterday. tfw we can never make it to each others performances, homecomings, or events because of clashing schedules. i've been listening to lots of feelsy music because of this. feel free to rec me more like this.
>>
>>51349836
plz don't an hero
>>
>>51349862

Make sure you're awake with your cousin so you can do something that will take your mind off of it.
>>
>>51349895
It's fine
>>
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>>51345208
lol that was probably me
it was on 24/7 when I had a pseudo-relationship fall through and it was keeping my head above water at the time

life has its ups and down
I got a therapist, a good job with a supportive boss, established goals, stopped doing drugs and drinking as much as I was
blah blah
and now I'm getting kicked out/moving out from home asap

it's fun!

I'm also the Bunkbed guy
have some links erryone, don't kill yourself listening though!

>"everything you do is wrong, and you know you don't belong"

https://mega.co.nz/#!yQQFlR6Y!MwbMXXoZx6LiWi0lDRnS0qvfAdk74rLF-PsecAQqjEU

https://mega.co.nz/#!LYRxRT7Q!xSmD8XqHZQY4dwKobPwYfnuWbqUkn1M6esPVwJxntSU
>>
>>51349923
Too bad I'm a Kinsey 1.
>>
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>tfw you have crush but she never gonna love you because you are weird/loser
any recs for this feel?
>>
>your crush is schizophrenic
>an SJW tumblr goer
>and a pleb
Still like her a lot though.
>>
>>51349678
I try, I really do. I just am and look tired as shit all the time, I've had permanent bags and dark lines under my eyes since 15 and it makes it hard to look someone in the eyes knowing their looking right into mine.
>>
>>51350047

Yeah, I have acne scars and I feel the same way a lot. I think it's what makes me fear flirting and shit the most. That and feeling like a little kid all the time.
>>
>>51349999
Try laying in silence and reflecting on how hopeless you are for a while

Then listen to Red House Painters - Down Colorful Hill in the middle of the night when you can't sleep

Just remember that it's so much easier to die, but you probably shouldn't
>>
>>51350040
Is it because she's cute?
>>
anyone got anything for a guy who loves a girl and she knows it and she's liked at least 5 other guys since but I still stay around because i care about her.
>>
>>51350105
She's cute and just a nice person. She's not salty about things you'd expect her to be salty about and is more intelligent than most girls I've met. We get along really well she's just...a "nice girl" which is kind of...ick. I'm not your typical embittered Anon though.
>>
>>51350072
>acne scars

This too, I thought it would be over one day but no amount of bullshit cream is gonna clear these scars, It makes me unbelievably self concise.
>>
>>51350195
where are the scars at? if theyre along your chin/jawline, just grow a beard, thats what im doing, or at least trying to do
>>
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I'm getting married and I'm terrified I'll hate it and wish I was alone.
>>
>>51350085 Cool! Thanks!
>tfw in other time you would be dead because you are not strong enough and now everybody can slowly wait a nature death
>>
>>51350231
Nope, mostly cheeks, right next to both sides of my nose, and my forehead, but my hair covers that. I've grown it out a bit more to cover my cheeks a bit.
>>
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>>51349471
i do the same thing. I think I'm just really lazy. I've always had a super high metabolism but i can tell it's starting to slow and I really don't want to get fat. I can tell im gaining weight but just can't be bothered to do anything to stop it. I graduated college past may and actually got a job, a good start to my career, and that's great and all, but beyond that, socially, I really don't feel any better and can't imagine I ever will be. I still feel like the same loser who's never even come close to having a gf and it's killing me. dressing nicer has helped my confidence a bit but I still look in the mirror most days and almost want to just give up, why bother. The position my eyes and month default too is just a look of boredom with a hint of sadness, even when that's not what I'm feeling. im not good looking (I can clean up relatively nice, though) but it's not like i'm really ugly either or anything, but i can name the girls who've been interested in me on one hand. not like anything ever came of any of them, anyways. it's pathetic. idk i just feel like im in a rut i'll never climb out of, the same one i've been in for the last decade, really. and as time goes by, the sadder and sadder a 100% lack of any sort of experience gets, which just makes me feel worse and worse...
>>
>>51350285
Do you love them? you've got nothing to worry about, anon

>>51350302
ooh, i dont really have much for that...most of my acne was always along my jawline and right above my lips, for some reason. Theres gotta be some treatment for acne scars though, even if its a bit hardcore like surgery or something. ive never really looked into it
>>
>>51350195
I don't think mine are that bad, and I generally don't let them bother me. I am this guy: >>51347670, and like I said, I have had girls hit on me. But for me to go out and approach is very difficult, no matter how many people I tell about this insecurity reassure me. It is something I am able to ignore in most aspects of life though, and when I'm not in my shitty moods, I am completely fine with it. It's just something we have to learn to be ok with.

>>51350231
Mostly my temples and lighter on my cheeks. Nothing discolored or anything...just there.
>>
>>51346085
not anon, but probably depression. jesus christ this is a huge fear of mine thats probably becoming a reality as i type. I musn't kill myself tho. i really shouldn't.
>>
>>51350419
I've always been weary about telling myself, or anyone really, about how i think i might have depression. I feel like self-diagnosing stuff like that is sort of insulting to people who've actually been clinically diagnosed with those issues.
>>
I'm getting tired of being an empty person with nothing to offer anybody. I don't like being insecure and lonely. I want to feel important to myself and to others. I want to make a friend and offer someone my love. I don't like feeling sick inside all the time, like I could fall apart at any moment. I hate being a burden on my mother and everyone I meet

I'm gonna be perfect from now on
>>
>>51350319
dude you have depression, you dont have to drag yourself through it without looking for help. antidepressants work wonders for so many. Im not gonna say it gets better, tho, because i havent gotten there yet, but i just started to talk to someone.
>>
>>51350419
Sometimes I feel like I have selective musical depression or something. Music is literally the only thing that "fails" me from time to time.
Irregular musical anhedonia, maybe?
>>
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>>51350514
>antidepressants work wonders for so many
antidepressants make you a literal drone and more prone to suicidal tendencies you fucking retard
>>
>>51350487
As someone who is diagnosed with depression, admitting you're depressed to yourself and those around you is an important first step.
>>
>>51350551

Source: /b/
>>
You need some Mountain Goats to feel better
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnLol5gJWj4
>>
>>51350569
i dont think i could ever do that, one of my friends was diagnosed and dealt with depression over the last few years and hes just now getting over it ~5 years later. I don't like it when people worry about me so i never bring up any type of serious issue i might be having with anyone i'm relatively close to
>>
>>51350569
Not him, but how am I supposed to admit to others that I'm depressed
>>
>>51350624
I know just how you feel and it's not the way to go about it. I used to keep everything to myself and try to help everyone be happy but myself. It's emotionally and physically draining and the only outcome is an even deeper depression. I'm sure as hell not much better than before but admitting what I was doing was only making it worse helped a bit.
>>
>>51350632
>>51350512
I just went to my mom and said I want to try therapy
I can't do whatever I've been doing, anymore
I was also laying on the floor as I said this

people can see it on your face, you don't have to come out and say it

thankfully I have an awesome therapist so I've made strides form almost killing myself a few times

also important factors are:
>your environment
>way of thinking, negative vs positive
>keeping busy

I made changes in all those and it's amazing

got a job, changed my thinking, and my environment (when I can get to better places) is full of those factors
>>
>>51350632
Try to do it in a casual situation, maybe while playing cards or on a walk. Just say you've been feeling down for a while and you think it's more than just being stuck in a rut, try not to bring up anything related to self-harm or suicide unless you deeply trust the person. Say you've been reading up on mental disorders and you think you may have depression, seeming informed is a good way to get a serious reaction out of the person you're talking too. Things kinda branch off from here but at the end a friendly hug with the person is a great way to show you care that they listened to what you had to say.
>>
>>51350718
I dont even know how id go about doing anything like that anyways. The only time we're all together is during holidays and i wouldnt want to ruin those good times with news like that. Even if I myself recognize that what im dealing with is probably depression, i wouldnt want to drag them into it, rather i would want to go to a therapist and keep it all pretty hush hush (i.e. completely to myself and only myself) when it comes to any of my friends or family hearing about it...

i consider myself a pretty positive person though, im probably one of the happiest people i know when im out and about and around friends and stuff, and i always have a good time when we're together. i only ever get to feeling this way when im by myself/feel like im alone. I think the most telling symptom would be that a few times when i was hanging out with one of my groups of friends i just felt like i wanted to be alone more than anything. Ive even left their places a couple of times and just gone on really long walks late at night, without telling anyone...
>>
>>51350879

that sounds a lot like me
>>
>>51350349
I do love her. I just miss the days of sitting around, smoking, listening to music on my own
>>
>>51350930
surely you can do those things with her, cant you? the best parts of life are getting to share your interests with someones whos as interested in them as you are
>>
>>51350918
I dont know, man. I just feel like if people worry about me then that means i have something to prove to them, and i dont like living under that kind of pressure
>>
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>tfw realized that I've lost a lot of good friends over the years due to distance and time
>have plenty of people who are aware of my existence, but no one to hang out with on a daily/weekend basis (then again, I'm always working anyway - I feel like it's taking over my life hard)
>tfw would be nice to have a bf, but it would be nicer to just have a best friend or a few close friends like I did when I was a kid

>preparing to move back with the rents; remember the shitload of childhood stuffed animals still at home
>stuffed animals have kept me company throughout my life - have been comforting during lonely nights in college

Stupid I know, but
>worried about what's going to happen to them when I pass on
>thinking about making sure they get donated to other lonely people in my will - primarily kids in hospitals and old people in nursing homes

All of these thoughts and I can't stop crying. It's probably a good thing I've got the cold, so blowing my nose doesn't sound so inconspicuous to my roommates.

Listening to this album, but happened to have this song playing as I put up this post

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLkpHj7OlRw
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51h9hFI66Hc
>>
>>51346595
Hang in there, Ryan.
>>
>>51351004
>i consider myself a pretty positive person though, im probably one of the happiest people i know when im out and about and around friends and stuff, and i always have a good time when we're together. i only ever get to feeling this way when im by myself/feel like im alone

that's what really hit me. my family is kinda open to stuff, but I don't know...I don't like admitting weakness I guess. who knows though, maybe if you tell them, it could be exactly what you're looking for in many ways.
>>
>>51350774
I always assume the worst outcome of a situation. it's horrible but it's how I've always been. social situations, hell it makes it a lot harder to enjoy sports, just everything. im seeing a therapist for anxiety right now, which is basically an extension of that, and it's helped slightly.
My parents know not to call me before like 5 or 6 because if I see a call from them (or anyone, really) at a time where I know they wouldn't have been home for very long yet, I get extremely nervous and my first thought is one of my family members died or is in the hospital... basically that something horrible happened if they're calling me before they got home. our house got robbed a couple years back and my dad had to call me in the afternoon and it was just an awful day and ever since then, pretty much any phone call before I'm out of work makes me panic. haven't been able to get rid of that...
>>
>>51351033
>thinking about making sure they get donated to other lonely people in my will
Are you killing yourself? I'll be your bf anon
>>
>>51350930
Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that you can't have some time for yourself. It's all about balance.

I don't know much about marriage, but all I see it as an income tax opportunity. Nothing much changing about the relationship except that and some pretty jewelry. I heard many people feel terrified about marriage, so don't feel like you're the only one. Maybe your fiancé feels the same way.

I have to deal and be around people on a daily basis; I find it pretty damn overwhelming and need to just lock myself up in my room with a cup of tea and headphones at some point in the day.
>>
>>51346444
correct anon. also, nice trips.
>>
>>51344872
wtf is that an alligator
>>
I feel awful, /mu/. I met this girl Friday and we really hit it off; she has a great body, she's fun to talk to, she's really into me. We have a second day this weekend -- getting dinner Saturday night (and we're both going to some school event Friday). I've been so long without a gf that this is just unreal to me.

The only problem is...I don't feel that "it" for her. I just can't find that emotional pull to be with her or butterflies in my stomach and I feel fucking awful since I've been in HER position and it's terrible. How can you tell someone "no, I like you, I just don't LIKE you" when you wish you DID like them? Am I just sabotaging myself subconsciously since this is such a rare thing?

(music for my situation, please?)
>>
>>51350979
Yea, to some extent, but a lot of music I listen to doesn't interest her

>>51351164
I find myself really looking forward to having days off that she doesn't have off, maybe it's just because we've been so inseparable since we got together
>>
I never had a gf so I don't know what you guys have been through but you're all a bunch of faggots

There's more to life than a piece of ass
>>
>>51351213
Maybe give her a chance

Does anyone else always feel sick in their stomach 24/7? I don't remember the last time I've felt alright. Is it a mental thing? I think I want to go away
>>
>>51346652
not same as other anon but just wanna say thats a damn fine story son

happy for you stranger
>>
>>51351158
Oh, no. Not thinking about killing myself. I hate pain and I want to at least finish my degree before that happens. I'm just very aware of my mortality. I think about it every day, but it's still kind of terrifying.

Maybe not as terrifying as trying to find a decent job after college, but definitely weird.

Man, I had an opportunity to get involved in a romantic relationship very recently, but I don't see it happening like he does. I miss my ex (and it's all my fault for tearing that apart). Aside of that, I just don't think we're as physically compatible nor share as many interests that could keep an intimate relationship going very long.

I was sorely disappointed that he didn't care much about visiting the local record shop or saw any interest in music - he's not even those lewronggeneration type.

>tfw no one to go to recitals with

Unrelated (sort of) - although I love the idea of living far away from a college campus, I'm going to miss living so close to stores and restaurants. Driving everywhere sucks.
>>
>>51351098
>I don't like admitting weakness I guess.

Thats absolutely what it is. I'd rather just shoulder the burden of everyone else's problems and help them out as much as i possibly can than have to tell them about my troubles, even if its ultimately detrimental to me. I feel like i can deal with this stuff by myself since its only in private that i ever feel this way. Ive put up such a positive persona that it would be insulting to them if i ever ruined it. The opinion of me in my friends eyes in the number one thing in my life, and the only person who knows this is the girl im practically in love with but who i have never completely told how i feel about. im a mess, i know.
>>
>>51351289
There's more to life than everything on it's own, but that doesn't diminish the pursuit of all those things
>>
>>51351306
I have mild IBS, but that's another story. Stressing out about something?
>>
>>51351124
Hm, being robbed is traumatic in the sense that your home has been violated
home is where you feel safe and can trust
and that was shattered
my home to me = my family, mainly my dad, who is apparently a toxic source of all of everyone's problems
so home to me is neither safe nor trustworthy and those are thing's I've tried to work on through therapy
but they're pretty tough topics
>>
Hello everyone, OP here again. Just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you guys for supporting each other and keeping this thread alive. The feels are real. The hope is, too.
>>
>>51351379
Stressed about everything

I feel disgusting on the inside
>>
>>51348945
fuck this
>>
>>51351345

Yeah, I've been in that mess of a mindset for about 7 years now, whether it was when I was single or in a relationship. I come here to try and vent...maybe search for advice that won't help me but I like to think it will. I am sick of living my life just to portray an image of how awesome I am. I don't know how to stop though. Every time I make a conscious effort, it feels so forced and my motives don't change anyway. It's basically lying to myself. I hope we can solve it ourselves.
>>
>>51351510
We're going to have to, if we ever want to not feel like this.

I think its just because im waiting for someone to take a genuine interest in me. I feel like if im the one doing the telling that they wont really care, or something. even right now i feel really bad that i just keep talking about myself. I hope you start feeling better soon, anon.
>>
>>51351577

You too. I feel like a fag when I ramble about myself, but this is a good place to do it. I don't think another person is the answer though, and that's the hardest part to acknowledge. I keep telling myself "get a new gf, you'll be happy"...I will for a little while...then who knows.
>>
Don't fret it man, I am in uni and I keep missing lectures and stuff so I'm stressed out and depressed not to mention feeling lonely.
>>
>>51351660
yeah, being anonymous does really help with this stuff, even its just a temporary fix. I really like that /mu/ has such a supportive userbase when it comes to stuff like this. Even if they arent always exactly music related, no other board does feel threads the way /mu/ does. I love this board
>>
Just wanted to say this is the best feels thread I've seen in a while.

As far as my feels, I guess I just have a problem with meeting people. I'm in my second year at university now, and the only friends I have here are people I know from highschool. But they all have a ton of new friends while I just feel stuck. I don't think I've talked to a single person in any of my classes this year. Its just this weird mix of anxiety and self-hatred that's holding me back, I think.

Entry-level feel, I know. Listening to Loveliescrushing - Bloweyelashwish because ethereal shoegaze is pretty feelsy to me.
>>
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This is currently keeping me alive.
>>
>severe depression
>seldom eat any longer
>hair has started falling out
>no money
>can't buy clothes
>can't find a job because of recession
>only available jobs are service-based
>can't deal with 8 hours of social interaction every day because of intense social anxiety
why bother
>>
>>51351213
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbW7Gc9ML2g

Snowmine - Let me in
>>
>>51353433
whoops. Posted too soon.

Here's one for shiggles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9MZGIbvdW8
>>
Tfw I "feel like" I value independence so much and I DO need to be alone a lot but I haven't been single in 5 years between 3 guys and the one I'm with right now makes me so unbelievably happy yet I know there's an expiration date and I'm dreading feeling how all of you are feeling. Tfw I can't stop thinking this way and it might be the ironic end to our relationship
>>
>>51343640
>>51344009
so many album covers coppying MMLP2 these days
>>
>>51345639
>I can't pretend like I don't need to defend some part of me from you
every time
>>
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Currently suicidal, heartbroken, friendless, alone, on a massive amount of both Klonopin and Xanax and drinking 100 proof vodka.

This has been almost every night for me for over a year.

Here you go buddy. Also, be my friend please, my very few (read: 3) all literally stabbed me in the back and proved they don't care about me but why would anyone yadda yadda depressed bullshit
-----------

Keaton Henson - Dear...
^^^^ESSENTIAL break-up album. If the girl left you for someone else it is 100000x better.
>"Does he know your lip shakes when you're mad? Do you notice when you're sad? You don't like to be touched, let alone kissed...does his love make your head spin?"
>"And I hope for your life that you forget about mine..."
>"Damn my love. Damn my love. Damn my love. Damn, I love you. Damn, I love you..."

S - Sadstyle
^^^^Every S album is tragic as fuck and about breakups but this one beats the rest in terms of raw emotion.
>"And you're all I want in this world, and you're all I think of all of the time..."

Carissa's Wierd - Songs About Leaving
^^^^The band Jenn Ghetto (S) was in before her solo project. Devastatingly beautiful album, and yes, also about breakups. "So You Wanna Be A Superhero" is a personal depressing favorite.

The Saddest Landscape - All Is Apologized For. All Is Forgiven.
Album of all their songs up til '07, and OG skramz (not the most popular thing on /mu/) but the emotion is more palpable than any other band in the genre, bar none.

Giles Corey - S/T
Self-explanatory

Have A Nice Life - Deathconsciousness
Self-explanatory

Saetia - A Retrospective
OG skramz/emo that also doesn't get a lot of attention on /mu/, but perfect for a breakup.
>"Take these words, pulled from me, tied to you; Destroyed, destroyed, destroyed, destroyed, yours always"

A lot more but I'd hit the character limit. You will get through this...probably. Years later and I haven't managed but I am the exception, not the rule. Sorry about your girlfriend, truly.
>>
>tfw it's 3 a.m. and for some reason you decided to check your facebook for first time in a week and the first thing you see is a passive agressive status from her saying how it's funny that youd do anything to be part of her life again
>tfw shes right

Well there go my chances of sleeping tonight.
>>
>tfw cant experience human emotion unless im drunk nowadays

i hate this
>>
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>>51343787

>tfw this quote ("you can't miss what you forget") was my ex-girlfriend's away message on AIM the day after she broke up with me

and yeah, this was a long time ago. early '07. I don't harbor any feelings for her anymore (those are reserved for the girl who came and left about a year later) but that song will always hit me in the feels extra hard cause despite us dating for 2 years she made it immediately clear that I was forgettable...and kept true to her word because she never talked to me again and married another dude a few months after we broke up and it was like I never even existed in her life.

This post makes me feel insanely old more than anything else, really
>>
>>51354663
>literally stabbed me in the back

what did they stab you with?
>>
>>51345445
goosebumps man
>>
>>51349888
um toro y moi grown up calls
>>
>>51344009
i fucking love this album
one of my favorites i've taken away from /mu/
>>
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>>51354757

sorry, drunk. i think i was going for "literally lost ALL my friends when they stabbed me in the back"

i did get stabbed by my father when he threw me out of a car and stabbed me in the chest with broken glass this september though if that counts for anything?
>>
this basically >>51354622
I can't think about anything else. I have an exam tomorrow that I can't care about anything but her enough to revise for.
considering calling her and letting my life end vocally
>>
>>51343640
Fucking poor you.
Fucking poor you.
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rF1sfqnp8kk
>>
my ex won't give me the money she owes me and I'm really poor. Is there any music for these feels?
>>
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We smiled and said
'I'll see you in the summer'
But we knew that it was over
That's just what you say to someone who's dying
That's just what you say
This is to us
Our hands fit, at least for a while
This is to us
Our hands fit...
I miss the taste, I miss the face
I'm sorry about it all

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujkcWVhVRF0
>>
don't you die on me, thread. you are my only hope.

THIS IS DEATHCONSCIOUSNESS AND IT BEGS THE QUESTION - WHAT IS THE POINT?

but really, /mu/, what IS the point?
>>
>>51354747

Fuck man, this made me tear up. My ex did the same to me.
>>
>>51347463
Don't start at 2:08, listen to the whole song, it's amazing.
>>
>>51354906
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhvquFfsRU4
>>
>>51347477
Fuck, anon. Good luck with your life, even though you're probably not even in the thread anymore.
>>
>>51343640
It's about time that I stopped gracelessly falling to pieces because my refusal to take any right steps is simply weighing down my friendships and finding me questioning every decision. At least you're making an impression
>>
>>51348577
I've gone through some hard times with this album. It's just great when you're feeling down the whole way through
>>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMG6fcQGJiI
Listen to Aubade (Morning Love Song) straight after to get the smooth transition and emotional climax.
>>
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>>51347477

Dear... is truly the best album in any situation where you've lost someone close to you, and yours really takes the cake. That album does not get nearly as much credit as it deserves, it is a fucking masterpiece. I enjoyed Birthdays and can appreciate the classical direction he's taken recently, but nothing will ever touch that raw nerve he put out to the world in "Dear..." recorded alone in his bedroom in 2009/2010. Metaphors and The Lucky EP do come close, though.

Also, on a COMPLETELY different note, if you haven't listened to it already I'd recommend "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Silence" by Glassjaw. Very, very different genre but it's essentially an extremely personal album about how the vocalist was hospitalized with a serious disease and meanwhile his girlfriend was cheating on him. It's really brutal, despite being in the post-hardcore genre. There are some extremely violent lyrics, times when you can tell he's completely fucking losing it in the studio (the end of the title track comes to mind) and the vitriol is palpable and though sonically it shares very little in common with "Dear..." and lyrically only shares the theme of cheating/being left for someone else, you may appreciate it. Or hate it. Either way, worth a listen.

Get better.
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