>"...So you just pretend to be my husband for an entire week, while my parents are visiting us..." >"...And they finally leave me alone about marriage." "Why should I do it?" >"I'm the princess of friendship, remember?" >"You can ask me anything..." "..." >"So? What do you say?"
>>26060309 Sounds like a wacky plot for a comedy romance movie starring Jack Black as Anonymous and Mila Kunis as Twilight Sparkle, with special guest Danny Devito as Princess Celestia and Katie Schaal as Pinkie Pie. Also feauturing the voices of Liam Neeson as Applejack and Bill Murrary as Fluttershy.
>>26060885 How the fuck can Anon just pretend to be Twilight's husband out of the blue? Why would she just get married out of nowhere without even inviting her parents to the wedding? It makes no sense.
>Twilight's parents believe her, but insist she gets married "for real" right away. >Twilight promises Anon it'll just be for show, she'll sort it out later, just pls pls pls! >A week later, in front of the entirety of Ponyville with Celestia performing the ceremony, Anon and Twilight are married >It's legally binding >It's even magically binding >In an effort to avoid her parents bugging her about getting married, Twilight has dragged Anon down into actual marriage >Celestia knew it was suppose to be fake, but made Twilight get married anyways
>>26060309 >Go along with the whole ordeal. >Intentionally start a stupid argument over something trivial. >Exclaim that I want a divorce and that Twilight is a horrible spouse. >I'm still technically holding up my end of the deal by pretending we're married. >It just happens to be a shitty marriage. >Twilight can't do too much about it without giving away the charade. >This gon' be fun.
>Go along with the whole ordeal >Have to "move in" even though you have your own place >Twilight meticulously sorts your clothes and luggage into the shelves and closet >You sleep in her bed awkwardly the night before her parents will arrive. No touching. >Her parents show up and you get introduced, politely shake hand to hoof with her dad, give her mom a peck on the cheek and a hug >Her parents say they think they could just spend the night in one of the spare rooms instead of finding a bed 'n breakfast >Twilight has to awkwardly agree >You guys hang out and chat and go shopping that day >Later that night her parents have settled in down the hallway >You're cozied up in bed when Twilight taps your shoulder >"Anon? Anon, we have to have sex, so my parents hear. They won't believe it's real unless we do... ponies are pretty open about sexuality and they'll think something is strange if a newly wedded couple isn't doing it... do you think you could manage it? For me?"
"An entire week?" >"Yes Anon an entire week." "So that means we get to sleep in the same bed together, right? We don't want your parents to think that the marriage isn't going well by seeing us sleep separately." >"Uhhh... Anon I'm not really comfortable sharing a bed with you, but since I don't want my parents bugging me with marriage advice then I guess we'll have to share a bed." "Alright then, but just a heads up I sleep with my boxers on only." >"As long as you stay on your side of the bed then I don't mind too much." "Also I'm not responsible for what happens during the middle of the night, so don't be surprised if you wake up with me cuddling you." >"This is going to be a long week."
>>26064413 >twilight tells her parents the two of your eloped >parents refuse to accept an elopement, insist on real marriage >princess celestia flies in that night >twilight can't figure a way to back out of it >accidentally get married to her for real >sheepishly move in with her >the two of you chuckle at the situation as you share a bed >laugh at the absurdity of it all as you entwine your bodies in sex >shrug awkwardly as you end up having 3 foals together >spend 20 years keeping up appearances as a loving family as you raise the fillies >one day twilight comes home >"Mom died, Anon... she's going to be buried next to Dad." >finally the little charade is over
>>26064413 >"Sorry about the whole 'marriage' thing, Anon. I never meant for things to turn out this way." >"I mean, we may be husband and wife on paper, but that doesn't mean that we have to be a couple in private. Right?" >"It's getting late. How about we finish this bottle my parents gave us and hit the hay? I'll have Spike make some pancakes tomorrow. Maybe that'll cheer us up."
>"So it's been a couple years and my parents won't stop bugging me about grandkids this or grandkids that. I gave them every excuse I read from every book written about excuses ever written in the history of Equestria, but they just won't budge. Even Cadence is starting to pressure me, saying that having kids is 'a sign of a couple's love for each other' or some nonsense like that. So how about we just give them a dumb baby already and get it over with? Besides, family gatherings are starting to get a little awkward...."
>"Time flies, huh Anon? Our kids are off on some quest to become adults and we finally have some peace and quiet just for ourselves. I can't remember the last time I read a book in absolute silence, and I can't wait to start again. Maybe you can now travel around Equestria, just like you always wanted. What do you say?"
>"Another grandkid is on the way. Hard to believe, huh? It feels as if we just got married yesterday..." >"Anon? Can I say something?" >"I know that this marriage is not what either of us wanted, but I think it managed to work out. We did it. Together. You and I. Through thick and thin. High and low. Fast and slow." >"And I mean this one hundred percent when I say that I don't regret any of this one bit." >"You're a good person, Anon." >"You're a good friend."
>>26065863 >Maybe you can now travel around Equestria, just like you always wanted. that hits me hard i always think that one day i'll have to abandon all my dreams and compromise my life because of a child
>>26060309 >"We won't even have to have sex in front of them to prove that we're together!" "I-what? How would... what?" >"I know, it'll be a bit weird to skip the sex, but they won't be suspicious as long as I give you a hoofjob while we're eating dinner."
>>26061440 >Twilight and Anon have been dating for months >Twilight wants to pop the question but is too nervous to ask him directly >This entire song and dance has been a ruse to get Anon to marry her for real
>>26069545 >>26069575 "That.... won't be necessary, Twilight. Really." >"Oh, alright." "THANK you." >"If you're going to be a big foal about me touching you, then I GUESS that I can manage to spin a convincing-enough story for them, but just as long as you go down on me while we're all watching a movie after dinner." "You- will you STOP that! Is this just some ploy to get me to have sex with you?!" >"Excuse me?! Anon, my parents will NEVER believe that we're married if we can't prove to them that we're sexually-active! How else will they know that we're capable of producing foals?!"
>>26069824 >After hours and hours of relentless pestering, Anon agrees to have sex with Twilight in front of her parents. >"Yes, you have to cum inside, Anon! What use is proving our sexual relationship if you're just going to throw it all away by wasting your seed?! Right, mom?" >>"....." >"Right, MOM?" >>"Er, yes, honey. That's.... that's right." >"See, Anon?"
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