>Your waifu has to go to therapy. >Why? Because Celestia

>>25323065
>"He's a creepy, obsessed stalker that smells bad."

>>25323065
Why would she be talking about me? Therapy is for personal problems. Talking to her husbando is for relationship problems.

Fluttershy: he is kind of a monkey but without a tail.... I dont have any problems with him

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>>25323065
Well, my waifu IS Sunbutt, so, I guess..

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>"He's soft. I don't normally like soft things. I like him."

>Inb4 everyone talks shit about themselves like that other thread

>>25323065
>"I've tried to tell him that I don't find his monkey like figure attractive, but he keeps trying."

>>25323065
>He's quiet, but stares at me from a distance.
>It's strange, but I don't think he's hurting anyone.
>Maybe he just needs a friend.

>>25323253
gay

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>"He doesn't know how hard I cuddle him when he's sleeping."
>"Sometimes, I even stroke his hair and whisper how much I love him in his ear."
>"It just feels so good, I can't stop myself."

>>25323274
HE CANT WAKE UP

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>>25323274
>tfw you will die never having experienced that feel
>ever

>>25323286
but you do feel it, every night. You will just never notice it.

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>>25323286
At least it'll stop hurting.

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>>25323065
>"Me and Anon huh."
>"Well, we go way back...way back."
>"It was Januaray 30th 1986"
>"The smell of the dead and the dying was in the air."
>"We was outnumbered, and under supplied."
>"Charlie was every where."
>"And I told him 'ANON I WANNA GO HOME!"
>she starts crying
>"And than...than they started shootin us, they shot my ANON, He was laying there like some rag doll.
>"and he just looked to me and said, your going to make it out of this..."
>"I can....I can never forget him. I...I don't wanna talk about it anymore."

>>25323335
I would cuddle a ptsd Applejack.

>>25323065
>luna
>"He doesn't talk too much, but when i want him to be quiet he just won't shut up"

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>>25323335
>'..Princess?'
>"Huh? W-what?"
>'I asked about your history with Anonymous.'
>"We uh..we served together."
>'What kind of soldier was he?'
>"Merciless, brutal, effective."
>'..Would you care to specify?'
>"I would rather not."

>>25323619
>Anon was the Punisher in 'Nam

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>>25323632
>Anon died in the battle of Hue,
>Applejack and Anon where sweet hearts.
>Applejack could never love again.
>Anon is war criminal, therapy is so Applejack can stop living in the past.
>She has become functioning Alcoholic.
>She works every day with glazed eyes, and hoppy breath.

>Anon Died a monster, and yet he kept Applepone sane during the war.

>>25323065
>"He introduced me to 4chan."
>"Why did he introduce me to 4chan?"
>"I can't live like that, but I can't stop."
>"Am I gonna die there?"

>>25323632
>She's amazed and horrified at what he's done
>Doesn't see him the same after
>Never had a reference for the human character before Anon so she's conflicted as to how to feel

>>25323286
You wouldn't know it happened regardless cause your sleeping. For all we know, there could be teleporting harems for us each night and we'd never know.

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>>25323856
All this time I was getting mad pussy. And I never even knew it.

>>25323856
>equestrian messageboards are full of pictures of mares with sleeping anons
>"sucked dis qt's dick all night, top unf"

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>>25323335
>>25323619
>>25323632
>>25323672
>"Anon protected me from Charlie."
>"I can't sleep well without Anon telling me we're not fighting anymore..."
>"Everywhere I went he'd be one step ahead, seeing things I couldn't."
>"War is Hell."

>>25323065
Hell if I should know

>>25323065
Who? I've seen him once or twice but I don't think I even remember his name.

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>>25323921
JUST

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he is super awesome and very fun hang around, but drink too much, and his accent very heavy

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>"You said you're worried about your mate?"
"I did. He kind of scares me."
>"Does he threaten you?"
"No."
>"Does he hit you?"
"No!"
>"Does he abuse you at all?"
"No, he just seems like he's putting up a front. I feel like I'm always walking on thin ice with him."
>"Does he overreact often?"
"No, not at all! The opposite, actually. He doesn't complain, he doesn't get upset at me ever. It's like he's keeping something bottled up."
>"He doesn't give you any input at all, then?"
"No."
>"In that case, you're right to be paranoid. But do you ever consider that he is being completely honest with you?"
"I don't understand what you're getting at."
>"You said yourself that you were both the first to see the other when you brought him here, and that most of his time is spent trying to please you. Maybe that's all he wants."

Decided to cut all the embellishment and ego out beforehand to see what came organically. Screenshotted for my own record.

>>25323065
My waifu wouldn't mention me because I don't exist.

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>>25325118
>tfw I know that feel

>>25325112
That would be an interesting green for once Anon doesn't want to be in equisteria.

>>25323065
"He's a really nice guy. A bit of a doormat, sure, but he'll go to the ends of Equestria for you if it'll make you happy. He's a loner, but it doesn't seem to actually bother him much.

...I'm lucky I have him."

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>>25325145
Why those circumstances specifically? Can't I be a genuine obsessed white knight for my waifu AND want to stay?

>>25325074
What kind of accent? Russian?

>>25323065
>"He seems to care more about his guns than me, some nights he'll even push me out of bed just to snuggle with his gun"

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>>25325542
Based gun bro
>>25325530
Da

>>25325166

>being transported to equestria and having to stay on the good side of an all powerful magical pony

it certainly would seem like he has no choice but appear happy.

wanting to leave equestria is also not that much of a stretch.

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>"He's aloof, has all the personality of an immature colt, and smokes like a train."
>"I've never been more turned on when I'm around him. I never know when he'll say something negative about a sports team or an athlete from his world and smack my flanks."

>>25325814
Anon makes celestia feel young again.
I can buy that.

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>"I'm only with him because he kidnapped my parents."

>>25325835
This is defiantly some writing fuel.
I'd read something about Anon kidnapping twiggys parents and making her have sex with him.

>>25323065
He's kinda creepy, smells weird half the time and usually speaks in intelligible gibberish, if not a completely different language.

>>25323335
Hey, I'm with them chrlies, pls hold my calls.