Submission is Mandatory #71

Maybe you should just let it rest for a week or so Anon. I doubt we'll be seeing any green anytime soon.
Especially when this is thread number three today.

>>25017585
Really hesitant to do that, cause that's basically how every general ultimately died.

I know this general is slowly dying, but not quite ready to come to terms with that yet...

>being dominated without consent

What a shit fetish. If she's not into it then what's the point.

>>25017643
I like to think most people consensually role-playing aren't role-playing that they've agreed to be tied to the bed before sex.

This is fantasy.

That said, I'm all for more consensual.

Made it through the green. Pretty much nothing I can add that hasn't already been said. If I was going to order them:

- Bluebird (who really needs to get himself a proper trip... and a pastebin account!)
- Escapade
- Olibird
- Azenanon
- Beran

The top 3 were pretty close, to a point where if asked on a different day in a different mood my answer might change.

That's not to say I hated Azenanons or Berans, I pretty much mirror what everyone else has already said. Azenanons had an encouraging setup but then fell flat in the end, Berans isn't finished and still really rough.

^

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Not this time thread, not again!

>>25017307

Someone asked at the end of the last thread what the situation with Bluebird is. Last pastebin is http://pastebin.com/H4VVi4Gw next one is well underway.

Oh, and here's a pastebin for the Twilight thing I wrote for the writeoff:
http://pastebin.com/dGBtPp6h

>>25017643
What did you expect from these nonsensical faggots?

>>25017643
Meh, this again.. I almost prefer the bump train.

Either way, we've got several good consensual stories if you really can't let yourself sink into a fantasy.

>being dominated with consent

What a shit fetish. If she's into it then what's the point.

>>25017643
What if she's trying not to like it even though deep down she does?

>>25022569
>Twilight gets stuck on real-Earth and 'taken in'
Now there's one we haven't seen before. Anyone care to pick it up?

episode days are crazy

>>25024011
This one more so than most.

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Keep it alive this time, anons.

Anyone got any story ideas or green? If we want this thread to be good we can't just keep bumping, we need some content or discussion to keep it alive.

>>25027841
I'd honestly be interested to see a bit of consensual stuff, OR long-term captive stories rather than oneshot sequences.

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>>25027841
Well... Me an Olibird have been discussing (among other things) the Umbra CYOA idea that I mentioned before the write off. And it will most likely really be a thing.

We're doing lots of prep work and trying to find a way do distribute the writing work load. We're both very slow writers, but working together the two of us could manage to post often enough to keep one story alive. We're almost done discussing the individual plot lines, and now we're starting to talk about the possible characters and what roles should they play. There's still lots of work to be done, but my estimate is that we could be starting about two weeks form now, give or take. Also, I'm dropping Dungeons Deep. I don't like the direction the story went, and updating it has been more and more painful with every post.

>write-off
I know it's been a week since it happened, but I still haven't had the time to read all the green that was posted, nor the following discussion. The old thread died a lot faster than I expected. I'll be done with it soon though, and provide my feedback.

>>25029614
Happy to the the Umbra CYOA is still in the works. If you need a 3rd set of (eyes?) for anything, I'd be happy to chip in as much as I can.

>Octavia POV
I'm taking a serious look at continuing this. I already have a few "new" post completed, but not enough that I think it would constitute an update.

It has been quite a while since I last posted Octavia, so I might make a few pre-dumps of old green, starting from Octavia and Night Watch first leaving the castle, just to give everyone an opporunity to refresh themselves without jumping in the pastebin, and giving us a chance to have some mind-conversations.

>>25029834
>Octavia POV
Pretty much all the hype

>>25029614
>Dropping Dungeons Deep
Sad to see it go, especially just when you were getting back to Lyra, but I get it. If it's not fun to write anymore what's the point.

>Umbra CYOA
Hyped to see what this turns into.

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>>25029834
>mind-conversations

>>25031014
mild

>>25031117
bump

>>25029834
>If you need a 3rd set of (eyes?)
Escapade confirmed alien abomination with heightened psychic senses instead of normal eyes.

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>>25017307
>sees waifu being tied down by changeling

>>25031117
Don't care, want

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>>25029614
I'm hype.

>>25029614
>Umbra CYOA
That's going to be interesting. Ran a CYOA myself once - it can be extremely stressing, extremely tough, but also very very rewarding to right. Good luck with it; I'll be lurking.

>

>>25029834
Thanks, I'll be sure to contact you once we have something presentable, and the idea of what we want to do is a little bit more solid. There might or might not be some NMM involved, and since my headcanon of her character is made entirely from your stories, I'd love to have some input on what she would do in certain situation, if she ends up being part of the story.

Meanwhile, I'll need a way to contact you privately. Do you have disposable Skype account (mine is "beran_iznanxy6ig8") or e-mail?

Bump before bed.

>

^

>>25044536
<

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>>25022797
>>25022569
>Twilight's teleportation spell malfunctions. Gets sent to Earth by accident.
>No magic on Earth, so no spells, no flying, and speech. Can only make [horse noises] to try and communicate as her primitive instincts start to take control of her.
>Chased by Animal Control workers just trying to do their job and help her but making it seem for her it's like she's in a horror movie.
>Trapped and kept on the animal pound because everyone thinks she's an animal and no one knows what to do with her.

It could go in several different ways from there.

>>25045719

>Loose horses in an animal pound.

Yeah, right. Depending on jurisdiction, only specialist charities and so on deal with livestock. There's a difference in the law's view between animals like dogs and cats, and animals like horses, sheep and cows.

Twilight's going to end up in a nice horse sanctuary somewhere.

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>>25045752
Maybe, but she would still have to be captured by a regular animal control agency like a stray dog.

Also ponies are the size of dogs so it wouldn't be hard for people to treat her similar to one.

>>25045719
>no talking
Sounds like a complete waste of a character to me.

And a horse with a horn or wings deformity would either end up in some lab, or in a Zoo as tourist attraction.

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>>25045752
>Implying she doesn't land in the ass end of nowhere and end up on a plate

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>>25045959
>complete waste of a character
Not if the story is written from her point of view, or alternates between hers and whoever keeps her. There's plenty of characterization that an be done without the use of vocal dialogue.

>>25045959
>a horse with a horn or wings deformity would either end up in some lab
Probably, but not necessarily. Not all animal pounds or animal control agencies follow the same regulations or are as clean in in their procedures as others.

>Pony gets captured by a private backwater dog pound.
>Gets bought off-the-record for a reasonably large amount of money by someone anonymouslu and taken away to their home for some unknown purpose.
>Pony ends up living as a loved pet for some reclusive millionaire with a taste for equine rumps.

>

>>25046079
>Twilight desperately tries to prove her sentience
>Scratches letters into the floor of her stall, crudely tries to mimic her captor's speech, displays higher problem-solving and emotional behavior
>But her owner always laughs it off
>Dismiss it as 'that silly pony'
>"Oh, she's scraping at the floor again. Better change her hay!"
>"Yeah, she's really smart, isn't she? Going to have to padlock the stall to keep her in."
>"No, you don't belong in my house. Stop trying to eat my pens!"
>And then one night, after everyone else has left
>He reveals that he absolutely knows for certain just how intelligent she is
>He just doesn't care
>She's never going to be allowed to show anyone else anything of it
>Just be a show-pony, a thing for display, for the rest of her life
>And there's nothing she can do about it.

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>>25046946
>Twilight had actually started having feelings for her 'Master' against her better judgement and despite her continuous frustration with him not noticing or dismissing her attempts at communicating with him.
>He reveals he always new and how he doesn't care.
If you look closely you can actually pinpoint the exact moment her heart breaks in two.

>>25047133
Absolute improvement over my version. I like your thinking.

>>25046946
>Twilight desperately tries to prove her sentience
>Scratches letters into the floor of her stall, crudely tries to mimic her captor's speech, displays higher problem-solving and emotional behavior
>But her owner always laughs it off
>Dismiss it as 'that silly pony'
>"Oh, she's scraping at the floor again. Better change her hay!"
>"Yeah, she's really smart, isn't she? Going to have to padlock the stall to keep her in."
>"No, you don't belong in my house. Stop trying to eat my pens!"
>And then one night, after everyone else has left
>He reveals that he absolutely knows for certain just how intelligent she is
>He just won't let her leave because he loves her
>She's never going to be allowed to show anyone else anything of it
>Just be a pet-pony, a thing for sex and cuddles, for the rest of her life
>And there's nothing she can do about it.

>

>>25047368
You have my attention.

<

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Anyone remember those comments about Sombra 1 or 2 threads back?

>>25050664
Aye, so much potential ruined by such shitty art.

I wonder if the guy who came up with that character design gets a lot of grief over it. Actually I wonder if the character was made that goofy to offset the legitimate scariness of his presence leading up to when we see him in the episode.

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>>25047368
>just changing capitalist exploitation to loving master makes this prompt so much better

Sorry >>25046946 love wins again!
I don't mean to be a dick, this is just the only lovebutt picture I have that doesn't have her taking the ovipositor

>>25051522
Nah, it's fine. I wrote the first version and even I agree the other anon's is better.

>>25052401
Sombra never did get much of a story eh? Only thing I took from him was that he loved crystals.

bumps for dumps

>>25056699
nice digits

v

<

>>25046946
>>25047133
>>25047368
You will never dress twilight in proper riding gear
You never know why she acts all nervous whenever you want to go for a ride
You will never know that saddles, blinders and other riding gear are what gimp suits are for humans
You will never have her compete on a olympic Level

Tfw cant green on phone

Should i green later, would be my first

>>25059172
I prefer small dog-sized ponies, but if it's green I can't complain.

>>25059219
Its harder than i thought it would be... This might take a while . also, how welcome are semi-serious Greens here?

>>25059727
Welcome.

>>25059727
Quite welcome.

>>25059172
H-here i go...

>be anon, former professional dressage-rider, owner of a nice big farm and now appearantly also a horse that acts weird, is somewhat small and purple. You have had bigger challenges but this one sure is unique.
"If i find the asshole that dyes the fur and mane of a horse, he will get auch a beating..." you quitely mumble to yourself while slowly walking around said new purple horse
>at least she looks well fed. And apart from the weird colour, the fur looks good too. In fact it might be the best you have ever seen
>when you found her in the barn yesterday she seemed all worked up, but at least now she appears to be calm, apart from the neverending scratching in the ground with her hoofes.
"And who the hell takes care of a horse like you and then just places you in my barn? Everyone that knows about my old profession also knows i quit..."

>be twilight sparkle, Princess of magic and now stranded without it in a place you dont know. You are scared but not as much as you were yesterday. This lifeform in front of you is mumbling in some language to itself. AS if it wasnt hard enough to figure out the linguistics of it were to speak loud and clear.
"HELLO, MY NAME IS TWILIGHT SPARKLE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

Written on a tablet with german autocorrect so possibly some typos

What do next? Take her for a walk? Set her free on your vast farm and risk her running away? Saddle up and actually try to be thrown off?

>>25060003
Start gentle. She's obviously still nervous, so start by just a gentle walkaround... keep a tight hold on her lead, though.

>>25060271
>>25060003

>be anon
>you watched her through the half open door and she seemed fine but as soon as you got close to make yourself a better picture of the condition she starts whinniing.
"Something must have spooked her good" you sigh. "Well, got to Start at some point. How about we go for a walk hmm? You cant just stay in my barn forever anyway... Just stay here while i fetch a bridle, you got to be used to at least that."

>be TS
>no he definitvly did not understand a single word you just said and neither did you understand him. "Now thats just great" no magic, no horn, no wings and you cant communicate with the natives, can this get any wo-
"No, no, no, no! I dont know what place i have landed in but im not into that Kind of stuff! I AM NOT THAT KIND OF MARE!"
>after the bipedal "thing" left you alone for a moment, he now got back with what looked like one of the more lewd costume designs of rarity.
"Cant we talk about this? You dont want to do this! What kind of Start would we get of to?"

>be anon
>you have never Seen a horse with auch drastic mood swings... Turns out she is not used to riding gear, let alone a bridle, let alone just LOOKING at it. This will take some time.
"Come on girl, i wont hurt you. Or dye your fur. Or make glue out of you..."
>you shouldnt have said that last bit although it would rid you of a whole lot of work, you were sure of. You slowly walked up to her, hands up, showing you didnt mean her any harm, yet...

Lets not corner her or it will und badly

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>>25045854
look up shetland ponies.
horses are not like dogs at all, and odds are if an ordinary person kept a horse they would probably kill it because they are fucking allergic to everything jesus fuck.


>>25045719
>>25045752
twilight would end up in a corral yeah, the real question is how she would deal with the other horses. herd behavior is very different than mlp to some extent

>>25046079
>>twilight ends up abused by a moron
so lets settle some ground rules for this idea here. what exactly else has changed about twilight? because if she's a horse/pony biologically on earth, is she going to be allergic to things? is she going to be awake for 22 hours a day? is she going to be hopelessly insecure and learn a ton of bad habits from her new instincts if this idiot doesnt realize how to horse? If the idea is twilight is treated as a horse in our world, regardless of any clop, imho it doesn't seem to belong in this scenario, then her quality of life is vastly going to depend on the type of environment she is kept in. A horse is not a normal kind of pet.

>>25045996
A naturally purple horse would be worth way more than the meat on her body. learn to tourism

picture related, horse/pony twilight.

to be honest I actually have a sheer ammount of love for this concept though. Suns is probably the closest thing I ever got to it. I want a Smart and gentle farm girl to teach twilight and dash their places in the herd the real life way. round penning, sacking out, breaking in, pressure and release. creating draws, keeping the other farm hands from using bits and other amateur horse tac. if the scenario of the girls age and the ponies size permits, even teaching riding.

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>>25060500
>>hands up, showing you don't mean any harm
keep your hands down and stop putting pressure on twilight what the fuck are you even doing?, face away from her, hold the tac away from her, reach out with your other hand but don't close distance, draw back before touching her, and keep facing away, watch for ear pinning and tail swishing.

>>25060624
I think you're over analyzing too much this shit. It's supposed to be some unaware pet/pony-play on ponies scenario set on Earth, not a full, blown equestrian/ranch management simulator.

>>25060746
then why have it take place in a ranch, with a stable, and ostensibly, a protagonist who is heavily implied to know things about horses? also, why do it at all? what you are describing is litterally every other scenario except the pony cant speak.

>>25060624
>>25060688
What you're describing it 100% what I don't want the pony stories to be. I like ponies because they like humans, but cuter. And every real life thing just moves the story away from xenophilia, which I love, to bestiality, which I hate. But don't let my disapproval stop you. There's no reason for you or anyone else to like the same things as me.

>>25060688
>tfw never having dealt with a horse before apart from walking past them

I give up. If i am to write green i need to know what i write about... Green is up for someone else to finish. I planned to put her into the stable out of the barn. While twilight thinks its some sort of exhibitionisn she also gets a Chance to communicate with anon on some old chalkboard that anon put in the stables for whatever reason

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>>25060766
>what you are describing is litterally every other scenario except the pony cant speak.
You're forgetting the unaware aspect of the story, where the human doesn't know the pony is sentient.

>then why have it take place in a ranch, with a stable, and ostensibly, a protagonist who is heavily implied to know things about horses?
It doesn't have to be. The difference between pony and human biology could be played with, but it doesn't necessarily have to be taken so seriously.
I wasn't saying ponies ARE like dogs; I was saying I like ponies being about the same size of different dog breeds.

>why do it at all?
Why not?

Why are you sperging out so much over this? Have you worked with horses before?

>>25060969
in my ideal, nobody would be fucking the ponies. which is why I said it didn't really belong

>>25061001
you could just do what I suggested here >>25060766
and have it not be in a stable with a guy who knows anything about horses. its not like twilight has to actually behave like a horse.

I like the puritan scenario because I find the idea interesting in a purely domination respect
Twilight is forced to bow to pressure and seek release like any other animal, but she is neither treated like some sex slave but a real horse.

>>25061032
>>same size as dogs
again, there are horses that already exist that are the same size

>>it doesn't have to be
in the only idea being entertained at the moment. you don't get to be on my case because the idea has a route nobody is taking.

>>unaware
this basically boils down to if the ponies are still being screwed or not, because if theyre not, then that alone is different enough that I would read it regardless if it was strict, and if they where, then unaware is almost meaningless since they are still treating the animal like a sexual partner.

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>>25061097
Adult Shetland ponies are WAY larger than what I like ponies to be.
I'm thinking Shetland FOAL size for a regular, adult pony. Something like a hyracotherium, a prehistoric ancestor of the horse.

>>25017307
ayy lmao

Bumpin'. No more stabled Twilight?

I guess not. Oh well then, one more bump as I head for bed.

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>>25045996
wut

>>25068129
Yeah, the writers used 'flank' when they meant 'haunch' or 'rump'. Probably because little girls wouldn't know what 'haunch' meant and 'rump' would be a little too butt-centric for Hasbro's likes.

>>25069006
Or because they don't rhyme with 'blank'

>>25069721
Blanc Haunc....h

>>25017307
71?
No way nigger this general has been around way longer.

>>25072369
This isn't exactly the fastest thread you know?

>>25072369
It has significantly slowed down since MrN vanished. Like it or not, he was one of the fastest writefags when he was focused, and the semi-CYOA nature of the story left lots of space for debate.

We also lost a lot of our regularly-posting secondary writefags.

I do have high hopes for this new Beran/Olibird project, though.

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>>25072744

I'm going to start the Octavia story up again, but as a mentioned, I'm probably going to dump some of the story again, so that I can jog everyone's memory.

How far back do you guys want me to go? The pastebin ends at the chief ordering the resturant cleared, and I'm willing to start there, but if you'd like, I'm /could/ backtrack all the way to Octavia first being ordered to get the suits made, since that's where this sub-arc starts. That's 900 lines back. While that'd admittedly pretty far back, in the absense of green, it might not hurt. Tell me what you'd prefer, and we can get this started up again.

>>25075482
Personally I still remember the last scene pretty vividly, but I've personally got nothing against you posting as much pre-green as you want.

Also hypehypehypehype!

>>25075482
I'd start at the point where Octavia and Night Watch enter the restaurant, before they talk about NW's background.

>>25075509
>Inb4
>You are Octavia.
>Octavia Melody.

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>>25072744

>>25072440
But you've been around for over 3 years.

>>25075728
Holy shitballs that's a lot if words.. super hyped

Update bump: I've been getting a couple of good writing days in; next Bluebird section stands at 30-50% done, depending on how far I decide to take it.

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>Octavia POV
>New CYOA
>Bluebird well under way

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>friend of mine is a pet
>not my pet
>asked what /sim/ thinks about his OC
>Sprockette

Be gentle with that Dutch faggot.

>>25080379
The color scheme and the mane/tail are both good. But wearing clothes? Really?

3/10 - The only acceptable thing for a pony to wear is either saddle or a bondage gear.

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>>25080570
Sprockette does not normal wear clothes but gets dressed up a lot. I think it's kinda adorable.

he spammed my phone with his oc...
Damn whatsapp and it's automatic saving of pictures

This general is dying because people prefer femdom. Simple.

>inb4 hating the truth.

Ey lads, what's the status of a bumpy flight 3? Also do we have any vinyl scratch stories here? Gilda is exeptable.

>>25080379
>Colors 7/10
Not that bad at all. It's... definitely an OC, but not an awful one.
>Anatomy 3/10
He gets basic pone shapes, but holy fuck legs do not bend like that. Ow.
>Clothes
Schoolgirl outfit isn't my thing, but that's just personal preference. Second pic is cuter.
>Emotions 8/10
Well, he's got facial expression down pat, and actually using the ears to express as well earns an automatic bonus from me for remembering they are pones.

>>25080379
>>25080689
I like it. Anatomy is a bit wonky as had been said, but colours are good and expression is great (especially the first one).

I like the first one better.

I think it's best to start with them stepping out of the castle. I'm a personal fan of the Burr Berry scene, and think it would be a good idea to start with that encounter.

>”Are you ready Ms. Octavia?”
>You take a moment, and inhale deeply, attempting to relax yourself.
>Only now do you realize just how fast your heart is beating.
”Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready.”
>Clearly Night Watch is able to see how nervous you are, and he gently pats your withers.
>”Don’t stress yourself out. It’s still the same Canterlot out there Ms. Octavia; there’s nothing to worry about.”
>You briefly close your eyes.
“I know- It’s just… I don’t know… I’m nervous…”
>”That’s natural.”
>Night watch turns to the guard controlling the gate door, and with only a nod, the door begins to slowly open.
>As the gap between the double doors grows progressively wider, you take a step forward, only walk into an outstretched leg.
>You turn to Night Watch in confusion, and perhaps expecting your question, he speaks.
>”Wait until it opens all the way. There are procedures to be followed Ms. Octavia; this is the Royal Palace after all.”
“Oh… yeah. Sorry.”
>A few more moments pass before the door finally opens fully, and you find yourself staring across the small bridge which separates the gate from the City of Canterlot proper.
>You can see ponies outside, even under the cover of darkness; their coats reflecting the flames from various lamps which line the roads.
>They must be new lamps, probably installed over the last couple days to compensate for…
>…
>Why are they all staring at you?

>>25082147
>You lean over slightly to whisper to Night Watch, but before you can speak, he begins walking forward.
>Quickly, and with a hint of fear in your step, you be hustle close beside him.
>Your gaze bounces back between Night Watch and the ponies, who have yet to stop looking.
>A heavy thud comes from behind you, causing you to jump ever so slightly.
>Turning around, you to notice the door has closed behind you.
>Swallowing softly, you face forward again, and notice the ponies are moving.
>All too quickly, you find yourself stepping off of the bridge, and into the market square before you.
>...
>The ponies who are walking near the various stalls lining the streets all speak in a soft, almost whisper of a tone.
>Your ears perk up by default and begin to swivel, hoping to hear what they are saying.
>Underneath the dull sounds of stallions talking, you hear the voice of a small filly.
>”But mama, I wanna buy some stwawburries!
>You turn to face the source of the noise, and see a small filly pointing up at a strawberry booth, her hooves only just touching the top of the table.
>Quickly, you see a mare hustle over and place a leg over the philly, pulling her down away from the stall.
>”Not now honey, let’s go inside…”
>You notice the mare being trailed by another, similarly colored unicorn colt.
>”But mama, we just came frwom here!”
>She shushes the filly, and continues to push to toward the front door with increased vigor.
>”Don’t worry, we’re just going in here for a minute, we’ll be right out…”
>…
>You turn away from the scene, all to aware of why they are hiding.
>There hiding from you.
>You quickly scan to relocate NightWatch, only to find him standing beside you.
>In a few moments, you come to an intersection, and stop in the center, turning to Nightwatch.
>He speaks first.
>”Where are we headed to Ms. Octavia?”

>>25082167
>The question is so basic it catches you entirely off guard.
>This entire time, you didn’t think of /where/ you would actually get the dress made.
“Uh…”
>You quickly think of every fashion store you know of in Canterlot, which there is no shortage of.
>While you never figured yourself to be a particularly fashion focuses mare, you certainly enjoyed a good a shopping as much as the next mare.
>We could…”
>Yet the more you think, the narrower that list gets.
>You’ve never purchased lingerie, much less had it custom made.
>While you’ve seen it sold feminine stores, most their stocks were simply shipped in from other stores across Equestria.
>The only places you’ve known to custom make clothing are the extremely expensive designer boutiques, and in Canterlot, expensive might be an understatement.
>...
>Then you remember!
“Come on Night Watch, I know where to go!”
>Before he can react, you start making your way toward the destination.
>You hear hoof steps trail you briefly, and soon Night Watch is by your side yet again.
>”You might telling me where we’re going, or are you just going to randomly run off on me?”
>You can’t help but smile at his cheeky comments.
“We’re going to Burr Cherry’s, her and her son are family friends. My mother knew her growing up.”
>”Burr Cherry? Do you mean /that/ Burr Cherry? You know her?”
>You nod.
”Yeah I do. I used to play with her son, Burr Berry, growing up together. He’s actually invited me to a few dances over the years.”
>Your ears fall flat.
“That was years ago though… I haven’t gotten to speak with him much. He went to Prance to study fashion for a few years. We haven’t seen each other in months…”

>>25082180
>Night Watch gently shoulder nudges you.
>“Well maybe you could use this as a chance to catch up heh? No time like the present.”
>You nod solemnly.
“Yeah… I guess so…”
>…
>Continuing on your way to Burr Cherry’s boutique, you notice two guards posted outside of a building.
>As you approach, you notice it’s a… school?
You slow your pace, and nudge Night Watch.
“Night Watch?”
>He takes a moment to respond, his thoughts somewhere else.
>”Yes Ms. Octavia? What is it?”
>You slightly raise your hoof, pointing toward the school, but not so much as to draw attention.
“Those guards there- why are the standing outside a school?”
>Night Watch turns, and facing the building.
>As you walk, you manage to peak into the window, and notice small fillies and colts all sitting at their desk.
>There… doing schoolwork.
>You catch a passing glance, and looking at the chalkboard, you can notice what appears to be mathematics written on it.
>”The Empress has been forced to… make parents take their children to school.”
>You turn to him, and he faces you in return.
“Force them? Why?”
>”In the panic of Empress Nightmare Moon’s return, some parents didn’t feel it was safe for their fillies outside.”
>He points back to the school, which is now some distance behind you.
>”In efforts to calm their fears, she has ensured that the schools are all protected by Royal Guard, and has been tracking attendance to make sure everyone shows up.”
>You nod.
>While it makes sense, you can’t help but fill that it might be slightly counter productive.
>This ponies probably fear Nightmare Moon, and posting these new guards outside schools might not be the most elegant solution to the problem at hand.

>>25082189
>After far some time, you eventually near the fashion district.
>You never frequented this area, given that you never had reason to get dress up too often.
>Even so, the mare in you can’t help but get slightly excited.
>The gowns, the hoof guards, the fragrance stores…
>There all so alluring.
>Growing up, it was more difficult for you to find dresses than many of your classmates.
>Given that this is Canterlot, many of the stores tailored to fit Unicorns.
>While this wasn’t as large of an issue for you as it was for a pegasus, many dresses and hats were built for horn accessories that you simply couldn’t wear, and as such, a number of outfits looked… incomplete… on you.
>Walking up to the front entrance of Burr Cherries, you take a second to simply stare at the storefront.
>It’s nothing special; no different from the dozens of stores around it.
>But to you, this store was host to so many memories.
>Burr Cherry and Burr Berry were both earth ponies, and tailored their products to fit that clientele.
>This meant that whenever you did go shopping for an outfit for a special occasion, this was your destination.

File: Burr Cherry.png (227KB, 835x957px) Image search: [Google]

227KB, 835x957px

>>25082200
>Yes, so many memories.
>Hearts and Hooves Day gowns.
>Bride maids gowns
>...
>Your heart begins to race slightly.
>Your Academy First Year Gala gown.
>You blush.
>You even had your first kiss here with Burr Berry after that Gala.
>A ping of sadness hits you.
>That was so many years ago…
You still have his bowtie from that day
>”So… are we going to go in, or are we just window shopping?”
>Back to reality.
“Right, I’m sorry, let’s go.”
>You walk up, and put your hoof onto the door, gently opening it.
>Instantly, a familiar voice finds your ears.
>”Hold on minute, I’ll be right out!”
>You step into the store, opting to simply stand in the lobby.
>Both you and Night Watch ideally scan the store waiting for somepony to greet you.
>A wide variety of outfits line the store, from Stallion’s coats, to mare’s casual wear.
>The Burrs make some of your favorite styles in Canterlot, and judging by their popularity, you aren’t the only pony who believes it.
>While you're sure Burr Cherry would gladly give you free clothing if you asked, you’d never take advantage of her generosity.
>Moments pass before a cream colored pony with a cherry red mane walks out, holding a cup of tea.
>She doesn’t look at you, instead gently blowing steam from the hot cup.
>”I’m terribly sorry, I was just making myself-“
“It’s nothing Mrs. Cherry, don’t worry about it.”
>Her ears perk up instantly, clearly recognizing the voice.
>She looks up.
>”Octavia!”

>>25082216
>She quickly sets down her cup of tea before walking toward you.
>”Oh Octavia! It’s so good to see you!”
>As you return the embrace, a sincere feeling of relaxation overtakes you.
“It’s… good to see you too.”
>”I was so worried something might have happened to me little Tavi…”
>She nuzzles your neck.
>”I haven’t heard from your mother since… all of this started... and when I went to your house no one was home…”
>Your ears perk up slightly, hearing hoof steps in the background.
>”It doesn’t matter though. I’m just happy you’re here.”
“I’m happy to be here too Ms. Cherry.”
>”Octavia?”
>You break the hug with Ms. Cherry, and look over her shoulder to see Bur Berry looking at you.
“Berry?”
>He smiles, and gallops toward you.
>”Octavia! I haven’t seen you in years!”
>Burr Cherry barely manages to step out of the way before Burr Berry all but gallops toward you.
>You move toward him as well, and soon, you're hugging each other close.
“Berry- it’s been so long.”
>He chuckles under his breathe.
>"I know."
>You both break the embrace after a moment.
>”I haven’t seen since before I left for Prance.”
>You open your mouth to reply, but before you can, Ms. Cherry interrupts.
>”Octavia! Where did you get that Necklace? It’s gorgeous!”
>You turn around slightly and look at Ms. Cherry, before also looking down at your necklace.
>The store’s light plays off of the diamonds, creating a truly marvelous display.
>…
>You open your mouth to reply only to realize…
>You don’t have an answer.
>You surely can’t mention where it /actually/ came from.

>>25082224
>”Oh this? Well…”
>You look around the room, as if an answer will simply appear from thin air.
>First at Ms. Cherry, than Berry, than-
>Night Watch.
>With no better idea, and not wanting to raise any suspicions, you answer.
>”He got it for me.”
>You raise your left hoof, and point toward Night Watch.
>He’s eyes meet yours, and for a moment, a look of surprise appears on his face.
>Then, almost instantly, it disappears.
>”Oh? And who might /this/ strrrapping young colt be?”
>Ms. Cherry turns around, and walks toward Night Watch, so close they almost touch noises.
>Night Watch surprisingly, seems unfazed by her complete disregard to personal space, and responds with surprising grace.
“My name is Esteemed Estate ma’am…”
>He bows slightly, and lifts Cherry’s hoof, giving it a small kiss.”
>”It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
>…
>You honestly find yourself at a loss for words.
>Esteemed Estate?
>He seems so confident in his act, it convinces even you.
>”Oh my! Well Octavia /did /find herself a true Gentlecolt didn’t she?”
>Almost out of reflex, you want to correct her, but quickly bite your tongue, realizing that you need to play along.
>The less questions the better.
“Yes… yes he is Ms. Cherry.”
>She giggles slightly.
>”Well you better keep watch him close, or I might be tempted to take him from you…”
>Cherry’s typical playful banter helps to ease you back down from your brief moment of nervousness.
>Turning, you come to face…

>>25082887
>Burr Berry.
>He’s simply staring at Night Watch, his jaw ever so slightly open, almost in disbelief.
>Why is he-
>Oh.
>Oh no.
>You feel a pit form in your stomach as it hits you.
>He… he still likes you.
>And you just said you had a colt-friend.
>Suddenly, his eyes shift to you, and you divert your gaze out of panic.
>What can you say?
>Night Watch, as if aware of the situation, swoops in and interrupts the pause.
>”Hello Mr. Berry, It’s a pleasure to finally meet; Octavia told me about you...”
>Night Watch’s hoof hangs in front of you, waiting for Berry to return the gesture.
>Burr Berry diverts his gaze to Night Watch for a moment and simply stares, before extending his hoof.
>”Yes… it’s... nice to meet you too…”
>Satisfied with the hoof shake, Night Watch drops his hoof, and Berry soon follows.
>As if stunned by the situation, Burr Berry speaks.
>”So… why did you ponies come here?”
>…
>You turn to Night Watch, and open your mouth to ask him to retrieve the drawings from his saddle bag when…
>...
>Only now do you realize how ill prepared you are for this situation.
>How could you possibly explain this?
>This isn’t a dress.
>It’s lingerie, provoking enough to make a whorse blush.
”We um…”
>Sensing your uncertainty, Night Watch yet again takes the lead, and looks toward Ms. Cherry.
>”We’re here to have an outfit made for Octavia. She sketched it herself, and I’d like to have it produced.”
>Ms. Cherry smiles, and chuckles softly.
>”Oh Honey, don’t ask /me/ about that, I haven’t made an outfit in months…”

>>25082904
>Shocked, you turn to Burr Cherry.
“Months? Why? Did something happen?”
>She giggles again.
>”Oh no sugar, nothing happened. I’ve just decided to take a small break, and seeing that my little colt just got back from Prance, I figured now is as-good-a-time-as-any to let him test out his skills.”
>You gently “ohhh” in response.
>It makes sense, he /did/ go to fashion school after all.
>You hear two soft clicks, and gently, papers are levitated toward Burr Berry.
>It takes you a moment to realize what’s happening, but when you do, it’s almost as if it’s happening in slow motion.
>Burr Berry is about to see this drawing.
>He’s going to think that you drew it.
>For yourself.
>…
>For Night Watch.
>…
>Before you can react, or make an attempt to stop him, he reaches up and grabs them.
>Gently unfolding the papers, his eyes lower onto the ink drawing below.
>You can see the moment he’s eyes register the images before him.
>Instantly he looks up at you, and then to Night Watch, than back to you.
>Turning away in shame, you force yourself to look elsewhere.
>”Let me see honey, I’ve never knew Octavia had a eye for design.”
>Your heart, begins to race even faster than you thought possible.
>Turning to Ms. Cherry, you see her trying to peer over Berry’s shoulder, and onto the drawings.
>With the luck of the stars he pulls the papers away, and turns to his mother.
>”It’s- it’s nothing special, and it’s missing measurements.”
>He looks up at Night Watch for a moment, before turning back to his mother.
>"How about you and Mr. Estate go and unload the shipment of fabrics we just while I measure Octavia, I’ll show you the dress when it’s finished."

>>25082919
>Berry quickly folds the papers, and hands them back to you.
>Cherry, in line with her almost perpetual happiness, smiles, and looks toward Night Watch.
>Reaching out, she places a hoof on Night Watch’s chest, and runs it gently down his coat.
>”That’s fine by me… I’m sure I could use the helping hooves of a /big,/ /strong/ stallion.”
>Her half-lidded eyes and gentle smile look blatantly seductive.
>Night Watch’s cheeks turn visibly red, even under his coat.
>”I… uh…”
>She giggles.
>”I’m just teasin’ hun. I’m sure Octavia’s got you all locked up for herself.”
>You can almost feel the sigh of relief exist his nostrils.
>”Now come sugar, this is a large package, and a little old mare like myself can only do so much manual labor.”
>Turning around, Burr Cherry exists the front room with Night Watch following close behind.
>As the door clicks shut you find yourself alone with Burr Berry.
>Turning to face him, you desperately hope that he isn’t upset.
>Judging by his facial expression, that clearly isn’t the case.

>>25082928
>You instantly turn away, looking at a random dress hanging on a rack.
”Burr Berry, I… It’s not-“
>”No- no, it’s nothing, let’s just get your measurements, follow me.”
>You can pratically feel the sarcasm leaving his mouth.
>Your ears drop as you turn to respond, but by that time, he is already making his way to the viewing platform.
>”You can set the sketches over the table, I’m just going to measure you, and you can leave while I make the outfit.”
>He simply motions toward a small stool, not even bothering to face you.
>You can’t help but feel a rush of emotion.
>You… you didn’t mean to hurt him like this…
>Not knowing what to do, you place the sketches down, and walk toward the platform.
>As you step up the steps, you find yourself surrounded by mirrors.
>Your necklace yet again plays with the light.
>That’s not what you’re looking at though.
>Burr Berry is retrieving measuring tape from a small drawer in front of you.
>Although he’s looking away from you, the mirrors allow you to see his face.
>He’s eyes look unfocused as he searches the drawer for his tools.
>While he’s doing his best to maintain composure, you can tell he’s adrenaline is rushing.
>He’s hooves are shaking ever so slightly.
>It hurts to even watch him struggle before you, but as you look down upon him, you can’t help feeling… helpless.
>What can you do?
>You- you can’t tell him the truth.
>You can’t tell him you lied to him.
>He turns around, and doesn’t even bother to look at you, instead walking up beside you, and begins taking measurements.
>You’re honestly at a loss for words.

>>25082935
>As a last-ditch effort, you try to start a conversation.
”So… how was Prance?”
>”Good.”
>…
>He reaches around you, placing the tape around your neck and pulling it tight before writing the measurements on the paper.
>”What did you do while you were there?”
“It was Fashion School Octavia. What do you think I did? - I studied. I made clothes.”
>You swallow.
>Closing your eyes, you can feel tears beginning to collect in your eyelids.
>You can’t help but feel angry at yourself.
>You- you messed up. Bad.
”Did you… make any new friends? I’m sure you met a few other fashion ponies while you were there…”
>”Not any mares, no, I didn’t.”
>A tear escapes your eye, and falls on your cheek.
>Oh stars, what have you done?”
>And- and now you’re crying?
>The more you think about it, the more you want to cry.
>You feel the the measuring tape rap around your front leg, tightening for a second, before falling away.
>The sound of a pen scratching paper feels the otherwise silent air.
>”And how have you been?”
>Your ears perk up at his voice.
“I’ve been… good.”
>”That’s good.”
The tape again meets your leg, this time measuring it’s length.
>In the mirror you watch Berry take measurements, clearly focused on his work.
>All too quickly, you realize he’s probably trying to think of anything other than you right now.

>You begin to realize that he has no intention of actually talking to you, and trying to dodge the matter at hand isn’t helping.
>Talking a short breathe, you gather yourself.
”Berry… please… let’s just talk…”
>”What is there to talk about /Rarity?/“
>You’re ears drop at his tone.
>It’s the most angry you’ve ever heard him.
“Rarity?”
>”That’s the name on the collar.”
“What coll-“
“The sketch, it had a collar. /Rarity./ Is that what he calls you in bed? /Rarity?/ Is that you’re little pet name?”
>You desperately shake your head.
“No Berry, that’s not it at all, I-“
>He throws his notebook onto the ground, loose notes scattering on the ground.
>”Than what /is/ it Octavia? Why the buck did you come here? For some sort of sick entertainment? To humiliate me?"
>You recoil, taking a few steps back from the stallion before you.
>Oh stars, you don’t know what to say…
>In a moment of panic fueled idiocy, you tell the truth.
”I just needed a dress made…”
>”A DRESS? Don’t buck with me Octavia! That’s a bucking whorse’s bedding saddle! Not a dress!”
>You realize just how loudly he’s yelling.
”Berry please, calm down, you’re mother might hear-“
>“Do you think I care Tavi? Do you want me to show her those drawings?
“NO!!!”
>…
>A moment of thick, heavy silence fills the air.
>You can feel your throat tighten as you become increasingly stressed and panicked.
>You almost can’t manage to force words from your mouth.
”Please… Berry… just let me explain…”
>”Explain what Tavi? That you’re getting rutted by some stallion? I can clearly see that by myself…”

>>25082978
>He turns away, before instantly turning back around, pacing infant of you.
>”Who the buck even is that Stallion? Where did you meet him at huh? I never even heard his name before!”
>Your ming scrambles to find an answer.
“We met at a social… it- it was a few months back…”
>He snorts hot air from his nose as he continues to pace.
>All you can do is stare at the mirrors in front of you.
>”He’s a unicorn for Celestia’s shake Octavia… a unicorn…”
>You look down in shame.
>...
>Berry had confidence issues with unicorns.
>When he was young, him and his mother moved into Canterlot, and lived in the… poorer sections.
>He was constantly harassed and bullied by unicorns, far more so than you.
>He would sometimes wake up to people breaking his window with a rock, and throwing mud onto him in bed.
>One of his exes, a unicorn mare, dated Berry after loosing a bet.
>She invited him to a party at her parent’s house, where she publicly dumped him for being an earth pony.
>Needless to say… he still struggles with the issue.
>...
>Trying your best not to re-open old wounds, you speak.
“That’s not it at all, he was funny… we get along well…”
>”Are you sure it’s not the bits Octavia?”
>He points to your necklace, which you look down at.
>”Do you know how much something like that cost Octavia? That’s probably worth MILLIONS!"
>"You’re wearing some families entire life’s salaries on your neck right now.”

>>25082989
>He takes a breathe.
>”That’s probably why you went after him isn’t it: So you won’t ever have to work again?”
”Berry, no, that’s not-“
>”Are you even in musical school anymore, is that not worth your time anymore?”
>You look away.
”I- something came up, I had to-“
>”Oh Celestia, Octavia, you left school for him? And it ISN’T about the bits?”
>You shake your head.
”It’s not the bits Berry, honest. We… get along well…”
>”Then what’s his favorite color?”
>You blink, and wipe a tear from your cheek.
”Wha-“
>”What’s his favorite color Octavia? Tell me, and I’ll check with him when we’re done.”
>You wince, knowing that you don’t know the answer.
”Burr Berry, that’s not fair-“
>Not settling for no answer, he continues to press.
>”What’s his favorite hoofball team? You must know at least that.”
>You stutter our a response.
”Ni- I mean… Estate… doesn’t like sports.”
>Berry shakes his head, and runs his hoof through his mane.
>“Than what does he like Octavia? Tell me one thing he likes, and I’ll ask him about it!”
>The room falls silent.
>You don’t have an answer.
>Opening you’re mouth, you silently wish that words will form.
”Berry… I…he doesn’t…”
>He doesn’t do anything.
>He just stares.
>”Y-you really are rutting him for bits, aren’t you?”
>You lower your head.
>As much as you desperately want to explain your situation to him, you know you can’t.
”Berry, please, just listen. There are… things I can’t tell you.”
”I know how bad this looks- I really do. But please, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you."

>>25083001
>Judging by his expression, he doesn’t buy it.
>You wouldn’t either.
>With so little information, it’s all but impossible for him to figure out the truth.
>He just lowers his head, shaking it softly.
>He sniffles.
>”I just- this isn’t the Octavia I knew. This isn’t the Tavi I loved…”
>You turn away, fighting back the urge to cry.
>”You can leave, I have your measurements already.”
“You- but you didn’t finish measur-“
>He leans over, and grabs a piece of paper off of the ground.
>”These are the measurements from when my mother made you a dress a few months back.”
>He holds it up to you briefly, before throwing it back on the ground.
>”I was planning on making you a dress before this-"
>He points out the front window.
>”Before all of /this/ happened.
>”I was going to ask you out Tavi. But now- well, now we both know that’s not happening.”
>You shake your head, in denial of the situation around you.
>”Berry, please, I didn’t mean to-“
>You walk down the steps, and trying to hug the stallion.
>Instead, you only manage to walk into his outstretched leg.
>”I’ll go get your wallet, you can wait by the door.”
>Defeated, you set your hooves on the ground.
>Burr Berry turns away, and walks through the back door.
>All you can manage is to stand still, and cry.

>>25083001
>Only a few seconds pass before Berry returns through the door, closing it behind him.
>”He’s coming out now.”
>A clear, crisp venom is apparent in his words.
>"After this, I don’t want to see you around here again; we’re done.”
>Your ears drop in response, and you look away.
>You want to say something, /anything/ to make this better.
>But you can’t.
>Instead, you have to sit here, and just watch as your friendship falls apart.
>Through shear force of mind, you bring yourself to focus on the present.
“You’re- you’re still going to make the outfit, right?”
>The words clumsily stumble from your mouth.
>You don’t want to talk about it, but you have to; it’s the entire reason for you being here.
>He nods curtly.
>”Yes, I am… I- I can’t have someone like him walk out dissatisfied…”
>He looks into the distance.
>”That damn stallion probably knows too many ponies. I can’t ruin my mother’s business…”
>You don’t reply.
>The damage has been done, saying anything else will probably just make things worse.

>>25083023
>The door swings open, and Burr Cherry, followed by Night Watch enter the room.
>Ms. Cherry is giggling softly, before turning to you.
>”Octavia darling, are you sure you don’t want to stay for a while while Berry makes your dress? Estate is such an interesting pony, and I’d love to hear more about my little Octavia’s stallion.”
>You look at Berry with a slight cringe.
>He doesn’t even bother to look back.
>Knowing better than to make things any worse, you reply.
”I- I’m sorry Ms. Cherry, but we had other plans, We’ll stop by to pick up the dress in a little bit.”
>She smiles gently.
>”I understand. We’ll make sure to have it ready by the time you come back.”
>You look toward Night Watch, who nods softly, clearly understanding that you want to leave.
>He walks toward you, and places his hoof on your withers.
>This time you cringe slightly, almost shying away from his touch.
>Is he trying to make this worse?
>”Come on Tavi, I believe we had reservations correct?”
>You nod.
>”That’s right. Our reservations. We wouldn’t want to be late.”
>You shake your body slightly, signaling for Night Watch to remove his hoof.
“We’ll be back soon Ms. Cherry.”
>She nods.
>”Oh, take your time sugar, we’ll hold it as long as you need.”
>Turning toward the door, you take one last look at Berry.
>He still hasn’t bothered to face you again.
>With a feeling of resignation, you turn toward the door, and take your leave.

This story is why the general is dying, no one gives a Fuck about berry or cherry or whoever the Fuck you're talking about like seriously, hate all the want it's the truth. It looks like a good story but who gives a flying Fuck about those characters

>>25084012
They are what is called "side characters". It's not about them, it's about what it all means to Octavia.

>>25084012
There is a nugget of truth in this. Right now it's fine because what >>25084361 said. The story is still centered on Octavia, but this is where a lot of really good storied have gone off the rails.

It's important to remember that people are reading BlueBird for Anon+Dash, Octavia POV for Octavia, and Her Kingdom for Anon+Luna. Nothing wrong with exploring Anon+Chrysalis, Random side characters, and Anon+Celestia (respectively), it adds a lot to the story, but if the focus suddenly shifts to a different character for too long, you take a huge risk of losing people.

The Anon+Sirens story someone linked to a few threads back is a classic example of this. I was reading it for Anon+Sirens, as soon as the story shifted almost entirely to Anon+Twilight, I lost interest.

That's not to say a few stories don't pull off the complete character swap well, but it's rare.

>>25085043
>I was reading it for Anon+Sirens, as soon as the story shifted almost entirely to Anon+Twilight, I lost interest.
This. The story was really good at first, but then it completely lost focus.

>>25085043
>>25084361
>>25084012
>>25083976

As mentioned before, there were some extremely minor tweaks to the next part, so it's not the exact same as the original post.

>>25083037
>Soon you find yourself walking down the streets of Canterlot, Night Watch at your side again.
>”Those two were nice ponies Octavia, Ms. Cherry is an interesting mare, isn’t she?”
>The idea of conversation almost makes your stomach turn.
”Yeah…yeah- she is…”
>Clearly ignorant of your emotional stress, he continues to talk.
>”Next time, try not to put me on the spot like that ok? I’m not too good at acting like somepony I’m-“
“Could we…not talk right now? I’m sorry, I just have a lot of things on my mind.”
>Out of the corner of your eye you notice that he has turned to face you.
>”Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“
“It’s fine- let’s just- go somewhere- I don’t care, just not back there…"
>He looks at you curiously.
>”Um… we could get something to eat?”
>You’ve already eaten twice today, and aren’t particularly hungry, but given the situation, you don’t really care.
>”That’s fine, I’ll just order some water or something.”
>He nods softly.
>You’re certain he knows your upset, and doesn’t want to further annoy you.
>It’s almost strange.
>/You’re/ the prisoner here, and yet he’s the one walking on egg-shells.
>You suppose it’s just a mare thing.

>>25085708
>As you make your way through Canterlot, you passively observe the city around you.
>Every so often you’d receive strange looks from ponies.
>The occasional mare looking at you’re necklace, then Night Watch.
>The occasional stallion looking at your necklace, then your flank, then Night Watch.
>It makes you uncomfortable.
>While you’ve caught a few stallions staring at you before, it now seems like every pony in Canterlot is looking at you.
>You wonder what they must think of you.
>Do they think that you’re aristocracy?
>Instantly, you dispel the idea from your mind.
>Earth ponies were rare in Canterlot, let alone in higher social classes.
>While you’re family was far from poor, they were even further from the type of pony who might own something like...this.
>Another thought, far more disturbing enters your mind.
>Do they think you’re just some whorse rutting for bits?
>You turn to look at Night Watch, who is scanning the sparsely crowded streets.
>Do they think… he’s paying you?
>That you’ve sold yourself out for a shiny piece of jewelry?
>You can’t help but feel disgusted at the idea.
>Is that why the Empress made you wear it?
>…
>You get angry at your own stupidity, and feel your coat warm ever so slightly.
>You shouldn’t have worn this- this /thing./
>Looking down at the necklace, you can’t help but notice just how big it is.
>It feels so much heavier than before.
>You want it off.
>You’d rather be an average pony than be thought of as a high whorse who ruts for rocks.

>>25085718
>For a split second, you actually think about taking it off.
>Equally as quickly, you decide against it.
>It would be a foolish idea, to discard something the Empress gave you.
>For something this valuable, you can only assume the punishment would be… brutal.
>Resigning yourself to wearing the neckless, you gently rub your neck, readjusting the weight on your fur.
>…
>Not soon enough, you arrive at the Restaurant District.
>You notice this area is much more crowded than the rest of the streets you’ve walked so far.
>It strikes you as slightly strange, given that it’s almost entirely recreational in purpose.
>Judging from the atmosphere around the city so far, ponies aren’t exactly in the best moods…
>”Do you want to go anywhere in particular Ms. Octavia? I don’t have a preference.”
>You look down the road at the various options.
“I don’t really care either… whichever you prefer…”
>He sighs slightly, pointing at a particular store.
>”How about that one?”
>Following his hoof, you’re eyes are met with a sign.
>You feel the almost familiar sense of nervousness come over you.
“That one? The Prench Laundry?”
>He nods his head.
>”Yeah, why? Don’t you like it?”
>You shake your head.
”N-no It’s just… that’s really expensive…”
>He dismisses your concern.
>”The Empress gave us quite a few bits to spend; I’m sure she wouldn’t might us grabbing a bite to eat."
>You nod gently.
"Yeah but… this is a lot…"
>Almost ignoring you, he begins to walk toward the small building.
>Realizing that the decision has been made for you, you hurry to catch up beside the stallion.

>>25085727
>Night Watch holds the door for you has you enter the greeting area of the restaurant.
>You notice just how dark it is.
>The lack of natural lighting causes the candles to cast deep shadows across the room.
>You’d say it was almost romantic.
>A hostess walks up to both you and Night Watch, before speaking.
>”Good day, may I ask what name your reservation is under?
>Reservation?
>Night Watch didn’t make reservations...
>”I’d like to speak with the Head Chef please.”
>The mare looks up from the log book in front of her, with some confusion on her face.
>”I’m sorry, but the chef is currently busy.”
>”I understand, but I can assure you, it’s an important, private matter. Please retrieve him.”
>You begin to feel that something is off.
>It’s apparent that he doesn’t have reservations, and you know restaurants like this don’t accept walk-ins.
>The Prench Laundry waiting list is months long; and if your memory is correct, it’s primarily used by nobility.
>...
>The hostess pauses for a moment, likely to consider the demand.
>You notice her eyes briefly look toward you, and just as quickly, to your necklace.
>She turns her gaze to Night Watch.
>”I understand, If you’d excuse me, I’ll see if he is available.
>With practiced poise, the hostess turns around, and retreats into the main serving room of the restaurant.
>You turn to Night Watch, a hint of anger an annoyance in your voice.
“Do you even have reservations? We can’t just walk into a place like this, they have waiting list, and-“
>He interrupts your small outburst.
>”Octavia, please, I know what I’m doing.”
>The almost dismissive tone in his voice only serves to annoy you, but you decide against further questioning.

>>25085736
>A few short minutes pass as you wait for the Chef to arrive.
>Not feeling exceptionally talkative, you decide to look at one of the painting posted in the lobby.
>One in particular catches your eye.
>The EverFree Ruins.
>Or more accurately, some artist’s interpretation of them.
>Very, very few ponies have journeyed far enough into the forest to visit them, making knowledge about them very limited.
>No pony knows exactly when they were created, or by who.
>No pony even knows exactly /how/ they were made.
>As a result of this almost mythical nature, they’ve become the subject of various pieces of art, similar to the one before you.
>As you scan the image, you must admit that it is one of the more… attractive paintings you’ve seen.
>Attractive isn’t the right word…
>Mesmerizing.
>The sense of lost grandeur.
>The feeling of decay.
>The bleakness of abandonment.
>And yet, at the same time, they seem almost… majestic.
>Their refusal to fail serving as a testament to their pride.
>As if they’ve themselves become a part of nature.
>That nature has been forced to mold around it’s form.
>It’s an almost melancholy piece of art, as if the Ruins have-

>>25085745
>”I’m extremely sorry, sir, I had to tend to one of our guest.”
>Your musings are interrupted by the voice of a stallion, and turning, you see the Head Chef standing before you.
>Night Watch casually replies.
>”It’s no problem, we weren’t busy.”
>The nods slightly.
>”Right. Fine Wine mentioned that you wanted to speak with me?”
>Night Watch nods.
>”Yes, I would like to rent this restaurant for the evening.”
>The Chef smirks slightly.
>”M’yes. I’m sorry, but we only take reservations. If you wish, Wine here can take your information and deposit, and you can come back at a later date.”
>Night Watch shakes his head, before producing a piece of paper from his saddle bag.
>”I believe you misunderstood. I wish to rent the /entire/ restaurant for the evening.
>Night Watch unrolls the scroll, before levitating it before the chef.
>You watch as the Chef’s eyes briefly scan the scroll, before growing wide.
>He looks to you, and then to Night Watch, than back to the scroll.
>With a soft, yet sharp tone, he turns toward his hostess.
>”Wine, please tell our guest that we are very sorry, but we are closing, and they must leave.”

>>25085770
>Ms. Wine hesitates for a moment, confused by the demand.
>”Sir?”
>In short order, the chef replies.
>”Do it, quickly.”
>You watch as Fine Wine quickly nods, and disappears into the dinning area.
>Soon enough, you hear chairs sliding against the hard wood floors, as the ponies begin to leave.
>A number of ponies, mainly nobles, begin to walk past you toward the door.
>Nearly every single one is a unicorn.
>They all look at you, a clear, explicit image of anger worn on their faces.
>In the steady stream of unicorns, you notice one or two earth pony mares practically draped over their stallions.
>Their flanks softly grinding against their date’s trunk.
>One of the stallions is even beginning to unsheathe himself as he walks.
>The earth pony mare beside him giggles, and nuzzles his neck.
>You look down at the floor.
>Why are you even noticing this?
>You’ve- you’ve never judged a ponies like this before…
>Unfortunately, looking down only brings the Empress’ necklace into view, reminding you of how these ponies see you.
>You… you probably look just like that mare.
>Night Watch probably looks just like that stallion.
>You’re nothing more than a whorse to them; an expensive, earth pony whorse who knows her place.

>>25085778
>Are they right?
>...
>After the last of the nobles leave, Fine Wine returns to the front.
>”If you’d please follow me back I could seat you now.”
>You nod, and follow Night Watch to your seat.
>A number of staff hurry around you, quickly clearing the plates from the recently vacated tables that surround you.
>Night Watch briefly scans the room, before breaking off from Fine Wine’s lead.
>”We will take this table.”
>You look at the table toward which he is approaching.
>It’s already set…
>Fine Wine notices as well, and draws attention to it.
>”Sir, that table hasn’t been cleaned yet, let me take-“
>”No.”
>Night Watch interrupts.
>”We shall eat the food that is already here. Bring us a bottle of wine, and you may be dismissed.”

>>25085787
Resigning yourself to the increasingly awkward habits of Night Watch, you simply approach the table, and sit down.
>”Um… very well then… I will be right back with your wine sir…”
>With an awkward look on her face, Fine Wine disappears behind the kitchen doors.
>Getting the hint, the remaining staff who were cleaning the surrounding tables, soon leave as well.
>Looking down at the plate before you, you take note of the food.
>It’s untouched.
>Why would Night Watch sit at an already occupied table?
>You open your mouth to speak.
”Is there any good reason why we are sitting here?”
>Your tone is more aggressive than you initially planned.
>Not that you particularly care.
”I didn’t order this food. This is some random pony’s-“
>”Do you wish to risk poisoning Ms. Octavia?”
>The tone in his answer leaves no room for question or debate.
>...
>You unfold your napkin, and place in on your lap in a awkward effort to pass the time.
>Luckily, within a few moments, you are interrupted by the opening of the kitchen doors.
>Fine Wine practically trots to your table with a new bottle of wine before opening it, and quickly pours two glasses.
>Soon enough, your glass is full, and Fine Wine sets the bottle on the table between you.
>”Is there anything else I might be able to do for you this…"
>She takes pause.
>"Evening?"
>Night Watch gently shakes his head.
>”I believe we are fine, thank you.”
>Nodding, Fine Wine quickly turns, and leaves the room.

>>25085708
>knows your upset
knows you're upset

>>25085718
>looking at you’re necklace
looking at your necklace
>While you’re family
While your family
>coat warm ever
coat warm up ever

>>25085727
>hoof, you’re eyes
hoof, your eyes

>>25085736
>you has you
you as you
>understand, If you’d
understand, if you’d

>>25085745
>around it’s form
its form around
or
around their form

>>25085787
>>25085833
>eating food intended for someone else
>drinking wine form bottle freshly opened right in front of them
I like this version a lot more than the last one. This time he's actually doing what he is supposed to do, protecting Octavia.

NW also feels generally a lot more dominant than before. Though I'm not yet sure if his character has changed a bit, of it's just the "bodyguard orders the president to get inside the car" kind of dominance, and he'll be as meek as ever when he's not doing something safety related. Both versions could work I think.

>>25085833
>As the kitchen door swings shut, the room falls silent.
>The only noise is the very soft clatter of hooves on the city street outside.
>The light from the candle display on your table cast a gentle, warm glow on Night Watch’s face.
>Surprisingly, whatever serious demeanor that he had only moments ago has completely evaporated.
>Instead he smiles, and raises his glass for a cheers.
>You do not return the gesture.
>He just bounces between emotions like some sort of bi-polar pony, and expects it to be normal?
>Realizing that you’re upset, he lowers his glass to the table, before raising it yet again, and taking a small sip.
>”Is… something wrong Ms. Octavia?”
>Is something wrong?
>You feel anger at his ignorance.
“Is something wrong?”
>Your withers grow tense.
>Without thinking, you quickly raise your right forehoof, and firmly smack Night Watch from across the table.
>He’s head turns slightly upon impact, and a loud, crisp slapping noise fills the room.
>He doesn’t look at you, but instead closes his eyes, and narrows his brow.
“Are you /trying/ to make me look like a bucking whorse out there?”
>You pay special attention to keep your voice low, but the displeasure in your words is still readily apparent.
”Why did you rent this entire building? All I wanted was a glass of water, not this-“
>You point toward the wine.
"This liquor of yours.”
“What do you think all of the ponies who just left think of me?” Did you even notice how they stared?”

>>25089162
>Turning back toward you, he slowly opens his eyes, and rubs his cheek.
>”Ms. Octavia, listen, I-
”No! Haven’t you seen the looks I’ve been getting all day? They think I’m just your stupid whorse!”
>You feel tears beginning to form as you come down from your high.
>Your throat begins to tighten.
>”Even- even Burr Berry thinks I’m just some stupid whorse…”
>Night Watch doesn’t respond.
>Using your hoof, you touch your necklace, which, almost mockingly, glistens in the light.
“Half of Canterlot thinks that I let you mount me anywhere you want - All for this bucking necklace!”
>”Octavia..”
“No- don’t /Octavia/ me! You don’t know what it’s like being an earth pony!
"What it feels like to know ponies don’t respect you because of something you can’t control…”
“Than you make me look like a bucking whorse?"
“Stallions don’t look at me like a normal mare.”
“They look at my flank, and see a bucking price tag hanging from my neck.”
>Your blood is practically boiling.
“Maybe you don’t get it, but in Canterlot, it’s hard enough being an earth pony /without/ being publicly humiliated by you!

>>25089197
>You stop, and look at the pony across from you.
>…
>This isn’t worth it.
>Night Watch doesn’t care.
>Even if he did, what could he do about it?
>He’s just some pathetic, sad colt ordered to parade you around Canterlot.
>You inhale, and recompose yourself slightly.
"This has been a disaster…”
“I just want to get this dress and got back to the castle..”
>...
>”Octavia, look.”
>He’s voice is soft.
>You wipe a tear which has strayed from your eyes.
>”Octavia- please, just look at me…”
>A tense silence fills the air.
>You don’t want to look at him.
>All you want is for him to leave you alone.
>Yet, at the same time, you know just how unlikely that is to happen.
>Resigned, you slowly lift your head, and look at the stallion seated across from you.
>Almost instantly, you notice his expression.
>He looks… concerned.