Archived threads in /mlp/ - My Little Pony - 2054. page

So, let's say hypothetically your waifu agrees to be your wife. Marriage happens and so and so forth.

BUT during your wedding Celestia informs you that Equestrian law dictates that you have to fight your waifu for the honor of consummation and win. Whether or not your waifu accepts the challenge is not mandatory, you just have to win a fight at least once against your waifu, publically. The Equestrian judicial system will see that the match is set up and scheduled.

Let's also say your waifu loves you and all but isn't too keen on the idea of fighting.

You are blue balled /mlp/.

Do you challenge your waifu, and deflower her?
How would she react?
~~Failure to fight your waifu before sex will result in huge fines, to be paid by your waifu.~~
Greentext if possible.

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Anonymous 2016-04-04 02:22:04 Post No.26977464
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 02:22:04 Post No.26977464 [Report]

>>26977432
I wait for [waifu] to enter the dark room before shoving a burlap sack over her head and getting her into a headlock and choking her into unconsciousness. I make sure to record the encounter in night vision and show it to Celestia in private.

Anonymous 2016-04-04 02:23:53 Post No.26977473
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>>26977464
I guess that would count....a little anticlimactic but you kinda beat her in a fight.

Sleepy 2016-04-04 02:24:24 Post No.26977478
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Sleepy 2016-04-04 02:24:24 Post No.26977478 [Report]

>judo kick the shit out of her
>she has no reaction because she is unconscious as I fuck her

Anonymous
2016-04-04 01:16:16 Post No.26976776
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:16:16 Post No. 26976776 [Report] [View this topic]

How do you usually make your waifu happy? I'm trying to improve so she can be proud and happy to be with me

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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:18:12 Post No.26976797
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:18:12 Post No.26976797 [Report]

>>26976776
>usually
lolwut

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:18:48 Post No.26976807
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:18:48 Post No.26976807 [Report]

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>>26976776
Fuck you. How can I make her happy if she isn't real?

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:20:52 Post No.26976832
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:20:52 Post No.26976832 [Report]

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>>26976807
She's real ~~for me~~

TOTALLY A NAME FAG
Left or right 2016-04-04 01:09:31 Post No.26976701
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Left or right TOTALLY A NAME FAG 2016-04-04 01:09:31 Post No. 26976701 [Report] [View this topic]

So /mlp/, let's play a game. The object to your left is the gift to your favorite pony. The object to your right is the weapon you will use to kill your least favorite pony. So, what is it, /mlp/?

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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:11:08 Post No.26976722
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:11:08 Post No.26976722 [Report]

>>26976701
Give Trixie a bucket smash treehuggers head against the wall.

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:11:31 Post No.26976727
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:11:31 Post No.26976727 [Report]

>>26976701
>To my left
Dirty tissues
>To my right
A cardboard box filled with books.

...Fuck

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:12:36 Post No.26976736
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:12:36 Post No.26976736 [Report]

>>26976701
>my left hand
fist twilight
>my right hand
blind rainbow dash and hold her mouth shut while I block her nostrils

Anonymous
2016-04-04 01:07:00 Post No.26976666
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:07:00 Post No. 26976666 [Report] [View this topic]

I believe in Spike, he can do the thing

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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:09:04 Post No.26976695
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:09:04 Post No.26976695 [Report]

>>26976666
oh shit

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:09:54 Post No.26976709
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:09:54 Post No.26976709 [Report]

>>26976666
Spike should be hung drawn and quartered

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:10:36 Post No.26976720
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>>26976666
Get confirms

Anonymous
2016-04-04 01:04:52 Post No.26976648
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:04:52 Post No. 26976648 [Report] [View this topic]

So now that mlp sucks, how are you going to spend your time?

Find another fandom? Keep re-watching the old episodes?
What's your plan?

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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:06:37 Post No.26976660
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:06:37 Post No.26976660 [Report]

>>26976648
Shitpost on /mlp/

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:13:28 Post No.26976742
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:13:28 Post No.26976742 [Report]

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hold out until S&M
/vp/ is so alive right now.

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:15:00 Post No.26976760
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:15:00 Post No.26976760 [Report]

>>26976648
Your mom may suck now, but she's still a good fuck when I'm horny.

Anonymous
Why live? 2016-04-04 01:02:36 Post No.26976628
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Why live? Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:02:36 Post No. 26976628 [Report] [View this topic]

>Twilight: Ah. So here we go. Let's get a few measurements... consult the chart... Mhmm. Yep. Your penis definitely falls in the "small" size category. Oops! I meant to say "below average".

>Rarity: OH! Oh. Oh dear. I, er, please excuse me for just a moment, dear. I, um, ahem, I seem to be a bit... overwhelmed at the moment? I shall return shorty. SHORTLY!

>Applejack: Whoa, nelly... You, ah, seem ta be packin' light, sugarcube. Awe shucks, don't worry y'self none over it. Some stallions are better at some jobs than others. So maybe y'all could seek employment elsewhere, if'n y'all catch my drift.

>Pinkie: AWEEE! It's adorable! Heeheehee! Like a miniature version of a real stallion's pee-pee! Hey there little guy! Hello, Pinkie! Heehee! So tiny! It should be in a petting zoo!

>Dash: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HAHAHAHAHA! I, I CAN'T EVEN! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>Fluttershy: Oh my. I'm honored that your body is so considerate as to appear so non-threatening like that. A normal stallion's genitals are terrifying! But yours are very unimposing and I'm grateful for that. It's just a shame that it couldn't be just a teeny, tiny, itty-bitty smidgen bit bigger. And thicker.

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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:04:30 Post No.26976646
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>>26976628
>implying sexual desire
Being ace is fucking ace.

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:50:02 Post No.26977170
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:53:38 Post No.26977200
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:53:38 Post No.26977200 [Report]

>>26976628
>fisting ensues

Anonymous
2016-04-04 01:01:15 Post No.26976615
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:01:15 Post No. 26976615 [Report] [View this topic]

What do you think Pinkie charges on average for one of her parties? Does she charge at all? Or does she front the bills for all of these events herself because she is just that altruistic?

Does she just throw these random surprise parties, treat the ponies to a good time, then hand them a bill, with a smile, and fuck off laughing?

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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:02:53 Post No.26976632
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:02:53 Post No.26976632 [Report]

>>26976615
>implying coherent economic lore

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:02:56 Post No.26976633
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:02:56 Post No.26976633 [Report]

>>26976615
She also accepts sex as payment.

Anonymous 2016-04-04 04:04:47 Post No.26978450
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 04:04:47 Post No.26978450 [Report]

>>26976615
50c after the recession hit.

Anonymous
2016-04-04 00:55:36 Post No.26976567
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 00:55:36 Post No. 26976567 [Report] [View this topic]

Puffy ~~ponut~~

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Anonymous 2016-04-04 00:59:04 Post No.26976590
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 00:59:04 Post No.26976590 [Report]

>>26976567
thats AJ ~~or how I like to call her when she is drawn by sundown: Fatassjack~~

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:02:17 Post No.26976623
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:02:17 Post No.26976623 [Report]

https://derpiboo.ru/1123806

Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:03:24 Post No.26976638
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 01:03:24 Post No.26976638 [Report]

>>26976623
well then

Anonymous
A new scruffy 2016-04-04 00:28:18 Post No.26976215
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A new scruffy Anonymous 2016-04-04 00:28:18 Post No. 26976215 [Report] [View this topic]

Will it be you?

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Anonymous 2016-04-04 00:31:53 Post No.26976277
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Anonymous 2016-04-04 00:31:53 Post No.26976277 [Report]

>>26976215
No. I would take the position to seriously, and feel compailed to remove porn even though I enjoy the occasional nsfw pic that pops up. It makes the porn feel special when it gets posted if it's against the rules

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