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How does an illiterate loser like me become an author?

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How does an illiterate loser like me become an author?
>>
Man decides to be a movie star before he decides what local play to audition.

Man decides to be author before he decides what kind of books he likes.

etc.
>>
Write a book about kids with superpowers
>>
>>7333278
Do a lot of stupid crazy shit with low-lifes and then write about how some 43yo skank threw up on your dick while deepthroating it. Go full Bukowski.
>>
Read the /lit/ trilogy: Infinite Jest → Gravity's Rainbow → Ulysses.
>>
Read and write. That's it.
>>
>>7333281
Woman inherits the role.
>>
>>7333282
This. YA fiction is the fast track to publication. And this is two-fold. Most contemporary adult fiction published in America is also written at the YA level.
>>
>>7333278
Become not that, or don't bother...
>>
You know how in kindergarten, they teach you how to read before they teach you how to write?
First you have to read the shit out of a lot of great books. Then you have to develop the ability to think critically about books. Then you have to write the shit out of shitty books. Then maybe you can write something good.
>>
>>7333278
You don't
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